- Memo to you, Dionne family of New Scotland, New York: Get the f**k over it and grow a sense of humor. See, the Dionne clan is angry because they own a farm and earlier this week, someone slipped into their barn and stole one of their show goats. While I didn’t know there were show goats - show horses, sure - and don’t really care what sort of shows these goats are in (Broadway, talent shows, etc.), I do care that the Dionne family is so eager to cast blame for the alleged theft on local college fraternities. Furthermore, they claim that last year, a group of college students were seen hiding around the farm's perimeter and were chased off. Being the amateur sleuths they clearly are, the family was able to get the license plate in that situation and claim they later found out it was a fraternity prank to steal livestock. This time around, Bluebird, an eight-month-old Lamancha goat, was goat-napped in the middle of the night. What I don’t get and what the Dionne family needs to explain is why they’re so pissed off about this incident because in the end, the missing goat was found a few miles away dressed up in a tutu. Bluebird is back in her barn and although she is battling a bout of pneumonia, she’s expected to be fine. The goat-napping took place sometime Monday night or early Tuesday morning, according to Bluebird’s owners. "Bluebird was not where I left her and she would not be able to get out of the barn because all the doors were shut tight," Sue Dionne explained. Even though her goat was returned, Sue Dionne has been beating down the doors of every law enforcement agency in the area, hounding both the sheriff's department about the break-in and the Albany police. Her theory about the goat-napping being a frat prank (okay, so the tutu may suggest that to some degree) stems from an encounter she had Tuesday afternoon when two college students stopped at the gate and asked if they could buy a chicken. For some reason, she took great offense to the question and gave the two visitors a piece of her mind. "I said if you have any common decency, you're going to go back to those fraternities and see where that goat is and call either the sheriff's department or me," Dionne said. What makes her attitude even more galling is that Dionne’s own daughter is a college student studying animal science in Cobleskill, so she should know exactly the sort of mindset that college students have. How about a little tolerance and a sense of humor, wench? They didn’t harm your sheep at all, they just left it and tied to a lamp post behind the state's Wadsworth Lab near Albany Medical Center, clad in a tutu. Assuming that there were no truly offensive, unspeakable acts committed with the goat as some sort of hazing ritual, be grateful that nothing terrible happened. "It's just wrong for the fraternities to use animals in hazing or pledging, especially if they're going to steal them from someone," Dionne said. Okay lady, they didn’t steal, they borrowed. They made no attempt to keep your sheep, they just borrowed it and left it behind when they were done. I know sheep farmers aren’t notorious for the great sense of humor, but you need to lighten up. So far, no arrests have been made in the case and the Dionne's plan to put up surveillance cameras around their farm to prevent future goat borrowings. As always, good to know that there are still sticks in the mud with no sense of humor that the rest of us can mock and heckle because they can’t take a joke……………
- I’m not sure how to react to the fact that I have an environmental/ecosystem disaster or disaster-in-the-making to share with you all on a near-daily basis. While I’m happy to be able to shine a light on these problems and hopefully bring more attention to them, the fact that there are so many problems to report on is disturbing. Today’s crisis is being billed as "a humanitarian disaster" facing up to 30 million people as one of Africa's biggest lakes shrinks, Lake Chad, continues to shrink at an alarming rate. The warning comes from the United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organization, which explained that in 1963, Lake Chad was about the size of Maryland and by 2001, it covered less than one-fifth of that area -- making it smaller than Delaware. The lake is drying up and in the process, fueling conflict and migration. That’ll happen when you have one of the biggest bodies of water in the world, depended upon by millions of people for their water supply, and that body of water begins to evaporate into thin air. Worse still, the lake could disappear entirely in about 20 years, the FAO said. "If that happens it's going to be a disaster," Parviz Koohafkan, director of the Land and Water Division of the FAO, said in stating the obvious. The Lake Chad basin supports an incredible amount of biodiversity along with the 20 million people - mostly fisherpeople and farmers - who make their living off of the lake. These are incredibly poor people whose lifestyles are inextricably linked to their ability to work on and around the water. Already, the shrinking of the lake has resulted in a 60 percent decline in fish production, degradation of pasturelands and a shortage of animal feed estimated at 45 percent in certain places in 2006. The reason for the lake’s disappearance is no mystery: climate change, population pressure and natural variations in climate. The two rivers which feed the lake, the Chari and Logone, have been significantly reduced in the past 40 years, further compounding the problem. The FAO presented its study into the diversion of the Oubangui river in an effort to help Lake Chad at a conference, "Saving Lake Chad," on Friday. Hopefully the attendees took notice and were inspired to action, because this is an issue that affects four countries bordered by Lake Chad: Cameroon, Chad, Niger and Nigeria. Shrinking by 83 percent (9,652 square miles in 1963 to 579 square miles in 2001) is beyond alarming - it’s a crime. Lake Chad isn't the only body of water in the world experiencing this sort of peril, but it’s in an area that is far more impoverished than any other region in the same situation. A solution for this problem has to be found and found soon………….
- Fans of Florida, Texas, Boise State and USC could be down after this weekend because their teams barely escaped with one-score wins over inferior opponents. For example, Florida needed a last-second field goal to defeat unranked Arkansas in a home game for the Gators and Texas eeked out a three-point neutral-site win over an Oklahoma team that lost star quarterback Sam Bradford to a recurring shoulder injury eight plays into the game. So fans of those teams could feel bad…..or they could look at Ohio State and realize that things could be much, much worse. There just can’t be a more humbled team and fan base in all of college football right now than Ohio State, which fumbled (literally) away a win over previously 1-4 Purdue with five turnovers and JaMarcus Russell-ian performance from quarterback Terrell Pryor, who lost a fumble, threw two interceptions and barely completed half of his passes. The seventh-ranked Buckeyes lost 26-18 to a team that no top 10 team should never, ever lose to, period. As hard to swallow as their home loss to USC in September was for OSU, this is worse because they were exposed as an overrated, offensively stunted team with one of the most over-hyped quarterbacks in all of college football. As for the other teams I mentioned, the games were actually fairly solid. USC went into Notre Dame and had a back-and-forth battle on its hands, winning 34-27 by stopping the Fighting Irish from scoring on four plays from inside the 10-yard-line at the end of the game. Florida was significantly less inspiring, giving up six sacks to an Arkansas team that had been one of the worst in the nation defensively prior to today. Yet UF managed a 23-20 win to keep them in the running for the national championship. Boise State (a seven-point win Thursday night at Tulsa) and Texas (a 16-13 clunker over Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout) also kept their title dreams alive, theoretically anyhow. Life was not nearly as good for Nebraska, which celebrated its No. 15 ranking by laying an egg at home in a 31-10 loss to Texas Tech. But at least the Huskers were better than fellow Big 12 member Texas A&M, which was b*tch-slapped by 3-3 Kansas State, 62-14, in a game where A&M didn’t score a point until they were already trailing 59-0 in the third quarter. Another standout offensive effort was turned in by Bowling Green receiver Freddie Barnes, who followed last week’s 22-reception, 278-yard, two-touchdown effort against lowly Kent State with a 10-catch, 160-yard, three-touchdown effort in a win over Ball State. Incidentally, that loss keeps Ball State as one of three winless Mid-American Conference teams, with Eastern Michigan (0-6) and Miami of Ohio (0-7) the others. The MAC is the only D-1 conference with three winless teams, plus Akron with one win that came over a Division 1-AA opponent (Morgan State). In other words, the MAC is by far the worst D-1 conference; it’s not close. One non-major conference member I’d like to draw your attention to is Idaho, which has literally been a Western Athletic Conference doormat for years, one of the worst teams in D-1 on an annual basis and moved to 6-1, 3-0 in the WAC on the season with a 34-23 win over Hawaii. While having to play in freaking frigid Moscow, Idaho (albeit inside a dome) couldn’t have been easy for the Rainbow Warriors, big ups to Idaho for proving that Boise State isn't the only team in the Potato State (my designation) that can play quality football. The other top-notch game of the day came from the ACC in a contest that was exciting but also robbed the league of its only hope for landing a team in the national championship game. Fourth-ranked Virginia Tech, which had been rolling of late, was done in by the triple-option offense of Georgia Tech in a 28-23 defeat. Yes, the Yellow Jackets, ranked 19th coming into the game, have only one loss on the season, but they have zero chance to play in the BCS title game. The Hokies were the last real hope for the ACC and now that hope is dead. Oh, and the race to be the nation’s worst unbeaten team that had been raging on between two Midwestern neighbors, Iowa and Kansas, is over. After Iowa won 20-10 at Wisconsin. Kansas lost 30-27 at Colorado, to drop from the ranks of the unbeaten. But while Iowa still has not lost a game, clearly they are nowhere close to being on par with Florida, Texas or USC. Lastly, the first BCS standings of the season come out tomorrow (and yes, the BCS is still the Bullsh*t Crap Shoot and should be replaced by a playoff system), so there still something to look forward to this college football weekend………….
- Know what’s been conspicuously absent of late in this country? Overt, blatant and hideously outdated racism, that’s what. For some odd reason, being a blatant racist has become so stigmatized that the remaining racists in this country (and they are out there) have gone underground, unwilling or afraid to espouse their backwards, idiotic views publicly on a regular basis. As such, a hearty welcome to the public eye for Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace for Tangipahoa (Louisiana) Parish's 8th Ward. In his capacity as a justice of the peace, marrying people and the associated duties of that practice are the staples of Bardwell’s job. So when Beth Humphrey and her boyfriend, Terence McKay, both of Hammond, La., came to him requesting a marriage license, it should have been just like any other couple in love looking to wed. The problem came when Humphrey called Bardwell on October 6 to ask about getting a marriage license. Bardwell’s wife answered the phone and asked Humphrey whether it would be an interracial marriage. When she answered in the affirmative, Bardwell’s wife informed her told that Bardwell does not sign off on interracial marriages. Why? Because he is supposedly concerned for the children who might be born of the relationship and that, in his experience, most interracial marriages don't last. "I'm not a racist," Bardwell said. "I do ceremonies for black couples right here in my house. My main concern is for the children." Wow…..just wow. Could you be more racist and backwards if you tried? What year are you living in, my man? For the rest of us, this is 2009, not 1959. If two people of different races or ethnic backgrounds get together and have a child, there really isn't a stigma attached to that child. Also, saying that if your experience, most interracial marriages don't last, is basically a way of saying that races shouldn’t mix and that when they do, bad things happen. Bro, 1963 just called and it will be glad to have you and your bass-ackwards viewpoints back any time. For an illustration of just how jacked up this is, know that I am actually agreeing with the freaking NAACP on this one. Yes, the same NAACP is routinely rip for being a bunch of race-card-playing fire starters who look to interject race and discrimination into every situation whether it’s relevant or not. Speaking about this case, the president of the NAACP branch of Tangipahoa Parish had nothing good to say about Bardwell’s decision. “He's an elected public official and one of his duties is to marry people. He doesn't have the right to say he doesn't believe in it," Patricia Morris stated. "If he doesn't do what his position calls for him to do, he should resign from that position." Morris is 100 percent correct and the fact that Bardwell and his wife referred the couple to another justice of the peace who gave them a license and married them doenst make this any less offensive. Humphrey and McKay have since contacted an attorney and are looking at possible next steps in their case against Bardwell. "We would like him to resign," Humphrey said. "He doesn't believe he's being racist, but it is racist.” Well said, Beth, well said. I just wish it was something that didn’t need to be said in the first place…………
- Everyone give a big salute to Bon Jovi, corporate sellouts. Okay, so maybe that’s not fair to Bon Jovi. After all, being corporate sellouts is something they’ve been doing for a long time now. John Bon Jovi is one of the most corporate, business-type musicians around, as evidenced by the fact that he was the owner of the Philadelphia Soul of the now-defunct Arena Football League and is basically the darling of every corporate entity related to the music business in any way. I’m not saying that no good has come out of Bon Jovi’s career, as he has done and continues to do a lot of charity work and community building in and around his home region of Philadelphia and surrounding communities. In fact, John Bon Jovi seems like a genuinely good guy and is well-liked by those who know him. However, from a strictly musical standpoint, the fact that his band is looking to cram its new album down the public’s throats by inking a deal to become the de facto artist in residence with NBC, its affiliated cable TV networks, and all its news, information and digital brands is nothing short of offensive. The band will perform on NBC's "Today" show on four Wednesdays in November and Jon Bon Jovi will be a guest on cable channel Bravo's "Inside the Actor's Studio," as well as the subject of a character showcase on the company's USA network. All of this is designed to drum up interest for the band’s new studio album "The Circle," which launches on Nov. 12. To hold up its end of the deal, NBC will be force-feeding select tracks from the album into its network and cable programming.
Way to stay relevant and current, NBC. Nothing screams, “We’re not behind the times!” quite like partnering with a past-its-prime former ‘80s hair metal band who has about four fans under the age of 45. Can’t say that the chance to hear new music from Bon Jovi is going to have much appeal to the young, cool viewership that networks always like to attract. Nor do I see this giving much of a boost to NBC’s status as the lowest-rated among the four leading U.S. TV networks. Perhaps the allure of partnering with a band that has sold more than 120 million albums worldwide was too much for the Peacock to pass up, but I sincerely wish they had. Seeing as I am not a jean-jacket-wearing, stuck-in-the-80s fan of corporate rockers, there are just too many better options out there. Of course, any band with respect for its credibility and artistic integrity would pass on the chance to become a bunch of corporate shills being foisted down the public’s throats, so maybe not………..
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