- No one is depressed by FAT people more than me, but that being said…..I’m going to go out on a limb and say that chaining your 15-year-old daughter to her bed is not an acceptable method of weight control, no matter how FAT she is. So Robert Blue, you are….not a good father. Not after police allege (and you basically confirm) that you chained your daughter to her bed because you felt she was overweight. I can understand looking at your kid, seeing how overweight they are and being concerned. For one, other kids are bound to harass them because of it. Second, it’s not healthy and it’s not setting a good pattern for the rest of that child’s life. However, that doesn’t exactly seem to be the case here, because Blue isn’t claiming his daughter was morbidly obese. She merely weighed 165 pounds when Blue wanted her to weigh between 140 and 145 pounds. Not knowing the girl’s height, I can't say how overweight she is, but it sounds like she may be overweight, just not clinically obese. Yeah, but that’s a good reason to shackle her to her bed. I realize this is Las Vegas and all sorts of freaky things go on there, but they tend to involve one or more strippers, gambling, staying up all night and possibly a few illegal drugs. Restraining and beating your child as a method of weight loss is despicable at best, criminal at worst. Oh, did I forget to mention the beatings? Yes, daddy dearest would also allegedly beat his daughter with a wooden stick and kick her, according to a police report. Here’s a thought, and this is just me going outside the box and all: if your child can’t keep his or her hand out of the fridge and cookie jar, install a freaking lock on it. That way, all you’re restraining is an inanimate object and not a freaking human being. Blue claimed that he felt the only way to keep his daughter from overeating was tying her down, but wouldn’t a trip to the local Home Depot for a combination lock been simpler and less criminal? So what set off Blue, broke him to the point that he decided to assault and tie down his daughter? Police claim it happened on Jan. 12, when he said he found pea and corn containers in her room. No, not peas and corn! Shame on this girl for eating healthy food. Oh, and Blue also claims that he did try chains on the refrigerator and pantry, but I have to question the legitimacy of those claims. You get a good lock or two on a fridge, no one is getting in there without some serious hardware. And heck, isn’t it worth buying ten locks for the refrigerator rather than using even one on a human being? Then again, hard to be surprised that Robert Blue is involved in this type of situation when dude does have other children who were placed in protective custody and has a prior history of child abuse. Let’s go ahead and get out in front of this, take all of his kids permanently out of his custody, k? Thanks……
- I was going to pass this up or combine this bit of news with the previous one, but the chance to have back-to-back stories of parents chaining their kids down because the kids were too fat is too good to pass up. So I’d like to introduce you to Danelle Daunchet, a Denver mother who stands accused of regularly using plastic zip ties to restrain her 10-year-old daughter to keep her from eating. Daunchet was charged on Jan. 12 with felony child abuse resulting in serious bodily injury and two misdemeanor counts of child abuse, which I don’t think is a solid parenting resume. But then again, I’m not the one who’s alleging that Daunchet used the plastic ties to tie her daughter's hands behind her back before bed time to keep her from "stealing" food - that would be the doing of the Denver District Attorney's office. Not only is it alleged that Daunchet bound her daughter’s hands prior to going to bed, the DA claims that the girl’s hands remained bound while she slept on her side. Fear not, Daunchet did eventually remove the ties - with a knife, which sometimes cut her or poked the girl. In spite of that, a doctor who examined the girl said there was a substantial risk the girl will suffer serious, permanent disfigurement as a result of being bound. Again, I have to ask: why the rash of parents tying up their kids to keep them from overeating? You’re the adult, you buy the food, you’re in charge. You can buy only healthy foods, you can buy foods your kids don’t like for the most part so they won't eat lots of them - there are lots of non-criminal solutions out there. Or you can break the law, tie them up and beat them and go to jail, your call……
- How unselfish and big of New England Patriots quarterback Matt Cassel, saying that if star QB Tom Brady returns next season from his knee injury, he’ll be happy to return to the backup role he occiped prior to the injury. Nice of you to make the sacrifice of holding a clipboard and signaling in plays for $14 million, M. That’s the salary Cassel will likely be due because the team reportedly plans to slap him with the franchsie tag, a designation that ensures the Pats will receive first and third-round draft picks from any team that signs him when he becomes a free agent next month. It seems odd to pay a potential backup QB $14 million, but the team needs an insurance policy in case Brady can’t return next year. Unfortunately, the franchise designation also mandates that the player it’s attached to be paid as one of the top five at his position in the NFL. Thus, one season as a starter - albeit a very good one, with 327 of 516 passes completed for 3,693 yards 21 touchdowns and 11 interceptions - could earn this guy a $14 million backup role. "If the situation is what it is, then I would accept it and I would continue to do what I have done my entire career which is work hard, put my best foot forward and continue to work on the things that I need to and put out my best effort," Cassel told. Awesome, it takes a big man to be willing to make eight figures to do almost nothing. "This is Tom's team," Cassel said. "The Patriots have been Tom's team. He's built that franchise up with his own two hands. He's the guy, and he was the MVP the year before. I realize that. He's been such a mentor for me that I would say, 'No, there is no quarterback competition.' But I've learned so many things from Tom, and hopefully it'll help me in my career." I have to laugh when I hear people lauding Cassel’s approach here and his public stance, because who among us wouldn’t be willing to take a backup job for $14 million. I realize that pro athletes are competitors, they’re wired differently and they would prefer to start any day, but that still doesn’t make Cassel some great symbol of what’s right about sports. He would be making more than 80-plus percent of the starting quarterbacks in the NFL for a minute fraction of the effort, which is a sweet gig any day of the week……
- Great, Steve Martin already puts out scores of crappy movies and is one of the most blatantly overrated actors of his era, now dude is crossing over to music. Martin will be releasing his new album, "The Crow: New Songs For the Five-String Banjo," on Jan. 27 as a three-month Amazon.com exclusive. Mmm hmm, a banjo-centric album. The only positive to be drawn from this is that it’s time for the return of…..Albums to Avoid! Yeah! America’s favorite sarcastic music feature is back with a vengeance, as this album might be the worst idea in music since someone told MC Hammer that gold sequined parachute pants were a solid wardrobe choice. That the album features the banjo and guest spots from one of the worst genres in all of music - country - compounds the problem. When you trot out people like Dolly Parton, Vince Gill, Mary Black, Earl Scruggs, Tony Trischka, Tim O'Brien and Pete Wrenick AND combine their efforts with an actor doing a vanity project in a field he clearly has no qualifications for, that’s a recipe for a ginormous disaster. No, I don’t care that Martin claims to have been playing the banjo since he was 17. Lots of people play musical instruments as hobbies, Steve-O. Doesn’t make them or you qualified to release an album and waste the time of a record company, studio personnel and anyone associated with this crap-tacular idea. This is a big part of the problem with rich, famous people in this country: they feel entitled to indulge their musical aspirations because they’re successful as actors, athletes, etc. It was true for Shaq, it was true for that skank Paris Hilton and it’s true for Martin. Stick with what you do and leave music to musicians. Whether you’re an athlete, actor or professional slut who just happens to be from a rich family, being wealthy doesn’t mean you should make an album. You can trot out friends from the music business to produce or appear on your album; that isn’t going to salvage the inevitable train wreck. Partial blame for that train wreck also has to go to those TV shows who will allow Martin to appear to promote "The Crow" -- "Saturday Night Live" on Jan. 30 being the first. And if I sound pissed off about this, it’s because I am. There’s already far too much crappy music out there without people from other fields of the entertainment industry adding to the compost pile. Stick to movies, quit wasting our time with your attempts at music……
- All across the United States, various eateries have culinary challenges that allow patrons to consume ridiculous portions of food in exchange for getting that food free, t-shirts, plaques, etc. One steakhouse in Ohio, since closed, offered a 5-pound steak, baked potato and salad challenge. Another diner in Pennsylvania offers the "Beer Barrel Belly Buster," a hamburger that weighs in with 10 pounds of meat molded into a 20-inch patty on a specially baked, 17-inch bun and tops out at 15 pounds when 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, plus copious quantities of mayo, ketchup, relish, mustard, and peppers are added. That being said, the most disgusting gluttonous menu item yet might be the 7-pound breakfast burrito offered by Jack n' Grill'ss, a Denver eatery that will give any man who can conquer the big burrito a free pass on the bill for the item and any woman who can eat the whole thing free meals at Jack n' Grill for life. In eating the challenge, the only rule is that the person can’t leave the table to go to the restroom. So what goes into a disgustingly large and unhealthy 7-pound breakfast burrito? Well, eight eggs, 1 pound of cheese, 1 pound of green chili and 1 1/2 pounds of potatoes should do the trick, no? But no worries, I’m sure that crap like this has nothing to do with us being the fattest nation in the world, with 67 percent of our adult population classified as overweight or obese, right? Nor does it lead to heart disease and other obesity-related medical problems, I’m sure. Eat on, America, the world can keep on mocking us and they have every right to…..
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