- Goodbye to you, Pacman Jones’ football career. Pacman has ruined yet another chance, managing to get himself released by the Dallas Cowboys after the team learned of new allegations against the troubled cornerback from his time with the Titans. Humorously enough, Jones’ release came after a TV report by ESPN. The Worldwide Leader’s investigative program "Outside the Lines" was preparing to air a piece in which three Atlanta-area men allege that Jones arranged for someone to shoot at them two months after the football player was suspended by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in 2007. Yes, the same suspension Jones earned for instigating another strip club shooting in Las Vegas that left one bouncer permanently paralyzed from the waist down. Just two months into that suspension, it’s alleged that Jones had a dispute with inside the Atlanta strip club and that not long after he and the two others left the club, a hail of bullets struck their car. An informant reportedly told police detectives who were investigating a separate Atlanta-area case that Jones ordered the June 2007 shooting following his dispute with one of the men. No charges were ever filed because no one saw the shooter, but the NFL actually knew about the incident prior to this report and still allowed Jones to be reinstated and play for Dallas this season. Obviously his play wasn’t much of a boost to the team, as he played on defense and special teams, had no interceptions and averaged just 4.6 yards per punt return. Not quite what Jerry Jones had in mind when trading a draft pick to Tennessee for Pacman, I assume. The fact that the Cowboys released him is surprising to no one, not even Pacman and his agent even though they say otherwise. "He was surprised, and I think he was obviously somewhat hurt," said Worrick Robinson, Jones' agent. "At the same time, he understands the business behind what is happening here." Look Worrrick, I know your client is a brain-dead moron with an IQ of 14, so many things that would be obvious to the rest of us aren’t so to him, but even Pacman had to know this was coming. He missed six games this season for violating the league's player conduct policy after an Oct. 7 scuffle with a team bodyguard (hired specifically to keep him out of trouble) at a Dallas hotel and when he did play, he did nothing of value. The Cowboys choked away their season and missed the playoffs despite being one of the NFL’s most talented teams, so of course they would look to make changes and what better change to make than getting rid of a cancer like Pacman? Again, I point out that he was serving a suspension for one strip (or as Pacman would say, “scrip”) club shooting when he allegedly arranged another shooting? Oh, and that comes after he had already been arrested six times and involved in 12 instances requiring police intervention since being drafted in 2005. Speculation is that some other team will give him a shot, but for the sake of every NFL team, fan and person who remotely enjoys football, I hope not….
- Of all the things that the U.S. Army does, few have the impact on people quite like the manner in which the Army handles the task of informing families about the death of a loved one in combat and related issues. There just can’t be a much more devastating piece of news to hear, so every measure necessary to ensure the utmost compassion, sensitivity and caring should be taken. Sending thousands of Army families letters beginning "Dear John Doe" after losing a loved one in Iraq or Afghanistan would not fall under that heading. Let’s imagine that you were a member of one of the 7,000 families who received letters sent in late December to notify you of services or gifts surviving family members can receive from nonprofit organizations that help families of fallen soldiers, and let’s imagine that the “Dear John Doe” heading was at the top of that letter. Oh, and also imagine that you letter also had improper address information at the top of the correspondence, meaning that instead of your family's name and home address, the letters said "Army Long Term Case Management." Wouldn’t you feel important, respected and cared for? No, it’s not the same as having two officers show up at your front door to tell you that your loved one has died in battle, but that doesn’t make it any less offensive. But like any large, bureaucratic organization, the U.S. Army often contracts out for menial tasks it doesn’t want to take time for. Thus, the erroneous letters were printed by a contracting company. However, they were sent by the U.S. Army Human Resources Command's Casualty and Mortuary Affairs Center in Alexandria, Virginia, so the Army did have a hand in the process. As such, the center issued a formal apology Wednesday. "There are no words to adequately apologize for this mistake or for the hurt it may have caused," Brig. Gen. Reuben D. Jones, Army adjutant general, said in the statement. "It is important the original intent of the letter is not lost. The organizations mentioned are dedicated to honoring loved ones and recognizing their sacrifice and commitment." Way to keep it classy, Army, verrrrry smooth…….
- Look at you Canada, maybe you can add home of polygamy to your list of national points of pride. Already you’ve got the distinction of being the only country in this hemisphere that gives a damn about hockey, the Royal Mounties, round bacon, Bryan Adams and mullets, but home to polygamy could top all of those. However, you may need more than just one case wherein two leaders of a Canadian polygamist sect are arrested and charged with polygamy. Attorney General Wally Oppal of British Columbia may feel that this is “a landmark case,” but I’m going to need to hear more before I can officially declare you the champions of polygamy. Whaddya got? Let’s see….Winston Blackmore, 52, and James Oler, 44, were taken into custody in Bountiful, a western town of about 1,000 residents, and according to police, Blackmore has married 19 women and Oler married five. Not bad, not bad at all. Give me more…..hmm, you say that these two are members of the polygamist sect known as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or FLDS. All right, now we’re talking, keep it rolling. “This could be a groundbreaking case," Royal Canadian Mounted Police Sergeant Tim Shields declared in an interview. "It's the first polygamy case in Canada since the enactment of the charter, which usually takes precedence over our criminal code." The charter he speaks of could overcome the normal defense of religious beliefs given by polygamists in Canada. So why is this such a unique and landmark case? Well, for starters the investigation began in 2005 and it included police interviews with more than 90 FLDS followers in British Columbia, Utah, Idaho and Nevada. Oh, and it’s big because most of the "brides" in the Canadian sect are 15 and 16-year-old girls from the United States, that would be a problem. Of course, the legal age of consent in Canada is 16, but in cases where the other person is an authority figure, that age increases to 18 in cases. Hmm, think Oler and Blackmore would qualify under that rule? Yes, they would. For that very reason, these two perverts are shceudled to make their first court appearances in the case on Jan. 21 in the town of Creston, British Columbia. They can thank Oppal, who propelled things along last June when he called for a special prosecutor to look into allegations of sexual abuse and sexual exploitation of girls in the Bountiful community. "We keep hearing about many young girls who have established relationships with much older men," Opal said then. Unsurprisingly, this isn’t the first or only time that the FLDS has been in the crosshairs of law enforcement in recent months. You might recall that last year, a massive investigation was conducted by U.S. authorities into the FLDS sect in Eldorado, Texas, where more than 440 children were seized from the group's compound in April after allegations surfaced of sexual and physical abuse. Kudos on making it an international scandal, Canada, you’re well on your way to becoming the official home of polygamy……
- The passion for the Detroit Lions going 0-16 this NFL season was clearly shared by a whole lot of people. I bet a lot of you thought I was just blowing smoke and being a clown when I was actively rooting for that dream to happen, claiming that there were many out there who were rooting for it as well. Perhaps this will help to convince you that I was right. A man known only as "Dan the Lions Fan" decided to celebrate the majesty that was the 2008 Detroit Lions season by getting inked with a tattoo of their record on his chest. Dan the Lions fan has commemorated the Lions' historic 0-16 season on the right side of his chest, directly adjacent to his Dino's Pizza body art. For some odd reason, many are wondering what his reasoning is behind the tattoo, as if a team running the table in reverse and not doing what it takes to win for an entire 16-game season isn’t cause for massive celebration. I’m not surprised that Dan the Lions fan got the tat; I’m surprised that more people haven’t do so. Heck, I’d follow suit if I had the spare cash to spend. Why wouldn’t everyone want to remember the year a team went out for 16 straight weeks and manned down, failed to come through in the clutch and made NFL history? Also, as Dan points out, perhaps some time before he dies, "underneath it (the 0-16 tat) there will be a Super Bowl championship in my lifetime ... I hope.” And shame on his wife, Kristen, who said, "I'm super embarrassed right now, but what am I going to do? He's my husband; I love him." Ashamed? Of what? The only thing you have to be ashamed of is not anteing up and getting a matching tat. Well done, Dan the Lions fan, you’re truly an example for all of us…..
- How would you like to be Dr. Richard Batista from Long Island, New York? Before you answer and say yes based on the fact that dude is a surgeon and probably fairly wealthy, hear me out. See, Batista isn’t just a wealthy surgeon, he also apparently has a good heart and strong character. No other way to describe guy who, when he found out that his wife needed another kidney transplant after two unsuccessful transplants to address a serious medical condition, volunteered to give her one of his kidneys. A noble gesture to be sure, and one that many husbands would make, but still a tough call. Thankfully, Dawnell Batista’s body accepted the kidney and she was able to live. It’s what she did with her life after receiving that enormous gift that is the issue here. Seems that once she got back to health Dawnell decided it would be a good time to start cheating on her husband, having an affair and stabbing him right in the back. Yes, he gave her one of his internal organs, but clearly that wasn’t enough to compel her to be loyal to him. So she went out, had an affair and decided that she also wanted a divorce. As you might expect, Dr. Batista was none too pleased. "She slapped me with divorce papers when I was in surgery trying to save another person's life." Dr. Richard Batista. Not what you hope to have happen after giving someone a kidney, eh? To be fair, their marriage was struggling prior to the transplant, due in large part to Dawnell Batista’s medical issues. Still, her husband stepped up and did the right thing. "My first priority was to save her life," he said. "The second bonus was to turn the marriage around." So what to do when your wife files for divorce four years after you give her a kidney? If you’re Dr. Richard Batista, the answer is simple: sue her for either the value of the kidney, estimated at $1.5 million, or for the return of the kidney itself. You read that right, dude wants his kidney back. Unfortunately, medical experts seem to feel that this is neither legal nor possible. Arthur Caplan from the University of Pennsylvania's Centre for Bioethics said the likelihood of Batista getting either his kidney or the money was "somewhere between impossible and completely impossible". Likewise, medical ethicist Robert Veatch from Georgetown University said it was illegal for an organ to be exchanged for anything of value. Fine, but after what Dawnell allegedly did, there needs to be an exception made. If someone gives you a kidney and you repay them by cheating on them and divorcing them, you need to make amends with either the return of that kidney or repayment of its value. ‘Nuff said…..
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