- The offseason may be well underway for the Dallas Cowboys, but these guys are still in mid-season form and I’m not talking about anything they do on the football field. No, America’s Felons are almost better defined, be it current or former Cowboys, by their act off the field. It’s a down month for this franchise if none of its current or past players are arrested, so go ahead and check off January as a successful month on your “2009 Dallas Cowboys Felons and Criminals” calendar. Linebacker Anthony Spencer is the responsible party this time, getting arrested over the weekend after a disturbance outside a downtown Indianapolis nightclub on preliminary charges of public intoxication and disorderly conduct. According to the police report, Spencer was arrested about 3 a.m. Sunday outside the Have a Nice Day Cafe. He and another man were thrown out of the bar when they refused to leave at closing time, then argued with officers and ignored orders to leave. A bouncer told cops that Spencer offered to pay for the club to remain open past closing time, 3 a.m. in Indy. Not exactly something the club can legally do, so Spencer’s request was denied. He didn’t take the news well, with his response being a failed attempt to punch said bouncer in the face. Would’ve been an interesting confrontation to see; Spencer at 6-foot-3 and 257 pounds and a big ol’ bouncer throwing down. Just the way the Cowboys wanted to see their first-round draft pick in 2007 act after they released Pacman Jones for being an all-around thug just last week. So thanks for getting your team’s requisite arrest for the month out of the way early, Anthony, I don’t like sweating it out to the end of the month on these things……
- I’m going to be honest with you, the news I’m about to pass along seriously ruined my day. If you’re a fan of good TV, chances are that it will do the same for you. During a session of the TCA (Television Critics Association) Winter Press Tour on Tuesday, Fox entertainment president Kevin Reilly announced that "this will be the last year" of Prison Break. I read those words and literally it felt like a punch to the gut, I kid you not. The show has been on its standard winter hiatus since airing the 16th episode of this, its fourth season, on Dec. 22. And in a move that is eerily reminiscent of the crew-job, time-slot-jerking-around handling given to similarly great shows that ended too soon like Ed, Everwood and Veronica Mars, PB will be shifted out of its normal Monday time slot for its final few episodes (ironically, both Ed and Everwood also were killed after four seasons as well), jumping to Friday nights beginning on Friday, April 17 (after Sarah Connor airs eight straight new episodes). Reilly tried to be fakely sincere in calling PB’s four-year run as one for the "win column," but saying it was time to pull the plug because, "It got to a point where a lot of the stories had been told." About the only good news to come out of this terrible announcement is the fact that rather than the six episodes of the show slated to air, the number may be bumped up to eight so the show can properly tie up all loose ends and go out in style. Doesn’t mean it’s not going to suck when it happens, but at least the show won't get some hacked-off, truncated and rushed ending……
- If you were looking for a reason to actually like soccer, I think I may have found it for you. Because let’s face it, who isn’t down with a player taking time out during a game to incite a near-riot by mocking the death of 23 people in an air crash? See, I knew you’d be as pumped about this as I am. John Lawless, who plays for Merseyside side Marine FC in England, is the man at the center of this little drama. Lawless was preparing to take a corner kick during a game against Unibond League rivals FC United of Manchester at Gigg Lane, Bury, on December 20. Prior to taking the kick, Lawless waved his arms around wildly and mimicked the appearance of an airplane in distress in a mocking reference to the Munich air disaster in 1958. Really funny, right? Who among us doesn’t laugh hysterically at the thought of a plane crash killing eight players of a team, along with three team staffers and eight other passengers. Making the gesture even more offensive is the fact that the Munich air disaster involved Manchester United - the sister club of FC United. Plus, you know a gesture is crude, offensive and over the line when police visit you in the locker room at halftime to issue an official police warning because you damn near incited a riot with what you did. Thankfully, this was a small venue with only 2,122 spectators in attendance or this could have been a lot worse. Man, how I would have loved to be in the locker room at halftime when officers from the Greater Manchester Police told Lawless and teammate Shaun Tuck, who was also seen making the gesture, that they would be arrested if they continued to offend supporters. This wasn’t some random act of stupidity, either;
apparently Lawless was a member of a Facebook group called Munich 58 Was The Best Thing Ever. He has since left the group, but that toothpaste is out of the tube and that cow is out of the barn and they aren’t going back in. The incident was serious enough that referee John Corkhill included the incident in his match report, which led Unibond League officials to report the matter to the Football Association (FA). Like I said, just another great reason to love soccer and to underscore why it’s such a treasured part of the sports landscape around the world……
- Irony lives here: here being Anchorage, Alaska. The concept of a lottery held to raise money for a group that helps sexual abuse victims is a good one. I hate lotteries and subscribe to the theory that they’re a tax on the stupid, but if we’re going to tax the stupid, victims of sexual abuse should be one of the groups to benefit. That being said, I’m not sure about how jazzed victims of sexual abuse can be to have Alec Ahsoak, who according to the state sex offender registry was convicted in 1993 and 2000 for sexual abuse of a minor, as the winner for the $500,000 Lucky Time Pull Tabs jackpot. Ahsoak’s winning the lottery doesn’t change the fact that proceeds of the lottery help Standing Together Against Rape in Anchorage, a nonprofit group that offers support to sexual assault victims among other services, but that doesn’t mean the identity of the winner sits well with the organization. "It's not how we had envisioned the story going," Nancy Haag, the group's executive director, declared. Thanks for stating the obvious, Nance. This is all set up by the fact that Alaska has the highest per capita number of rape cases in the United States, so a) it’s more likely in Alaska than anywhere else that a convicted sex offender would win a lottery, and b) there is clearly a big need for groups like Standing Together Against Rape in Anchorage. Early reports have Ahsoak " going to buy a house” and saying he was “going to donate part of it to God, and, you know, charity." What, you mean like Standing Together Against Rape in Anchorage? Look, I sincerely hope that Ahsoak has changed and become a different person, but you can’t tell me that rape victims who benefit from a lottery that he won wouldn’t feel conflicted. Of course, if Standing Together Against Rape in Anchorage is able to help those victims regain a more normal, happy existence, then that’s what matters most……
- Yet another reason to make sure that you know your significant other and his or her gift preferences well before doing your Christmas shopping: you don’t want to end up with matching assault charges to go with those matching, butt-ugly holiday sweaters you now sport. Journey with me to Portsmouth, Mass., where a couple was arraigned Monday on assault charges stemming from a Christmas Day fight over an unwanted gift. “We just had a bad Christmas,” Randi Young told District Court Judge Sawako Gardner. According to police, that bad Christmas reached a tipping point after Young’s boyfriend Heath Blom complained about getting a Wii from Young for Christmas instead of the remote control airplane he asked for. Young clearly didn’t take criticism well and after Blom continued to be rude to her, she decided to leave. That’s when police claim he grabbed her by the hair and she spun around and hit him. By the time police were called and arrived on the scene, both were bruised and slightly bloodied from their skirmish. A no-contact order imposed by a judge at the time of their arrest and now Young is charged with a class A misdemeanor count of simple assault and Blom is also charged with a misdemeanor count of simple assault. Gotta say, I’m with Young here. A Wii is a damn fine present to receive on Christmas and you shouldn’t be complaining, even if you wanted a dorky model airplane. It’s not like she gave you an ugly tie and a set of kitchen knives, my man. It’s a Wii; try it and I can almost guarantee you’ll have fun. Just appreciate the nice gift you received and you won't be facing a March 24 court date on assault charges for yanking your girlfriend around by the hair. Something tells me that Young and Blom are just dysfunctional enough that they might actually last, or at least break up and reunite a couple of times, and be together for Christmas next year, which will hopefully involve zero assault charges……
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