Shark season, NFL running back criminals and "Hunger Games" casting news

- It’s international intrigue time in Palestine, where Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas has given final approval to dig up Yasser Arafat's remains and has also asked for an international investigation of his predecessor's mysterious 2004. The revelation from a top aide that Abbas wants the exhumation done came just days after a Swiss lab detected elevated traces of a lethal radioactive agent on clothing said to be Arafat's. Palestinian conspiracy theory kooks have been clamoring for an investigation to “get to the bottom of” their theory that that their leader was poisoned, though some experts believe it may already be too late for conclusive answers. The prevailing theory among these kooks is that Israel poisoned Arafat even though the French doctors who treated him in his final days did not present a clear cause of death, while Israel vehemently denied it killed the Palestinian leader. Arafat will now be dug up from the mausoleum in the walled government compound in the West Bank where he spent the last three years of his life under Israeli siege and officially tested for mysterious poisons. Hopefully devout Muslims don’t mind the sight Scenes of heavy machinery tearing into the wreath-covered grave of the revered leader. However, Abbas aide Saeb Erekat insisted the need for truth supersedes overrides cultural sensibilities. "We are seeking the truth, and every single Palestinian is seeking the truth, and we cannot reach the truth without it (exhuming the remains)," Erekat said. "In my heart, I have always said that President Arafat was assassinated, was killed," he said. "Do I have evidence? I don't ... This is why we want the Swiss experts to come and exhume the body. This is why we should do everything humanly possible to get to the truth." As always, it’s their money to waste and as such, no reason for the rest of the world to care. For the record, Arafat died Nov. 11, 2004 in a French military hospital, a month after falling violently ill at his Ramallah compound, and Israel denied any involvement and has maintained that stance ever since. Arafat died of a massive stroke and had suffered from a blood condition known as disseminated intravascular coagulation, or DIC. A big thanks to Al-Jazeera and everyone else who continues to drag this mess up………

- The first edition of “The  Hunger Games” is still churning through theaters and making a few more millions before it rides off to Blu-Ray and DVD land, but the sequel to the film is shaping up and the first addition to the cast is impressive. Philip Seymour Hoffman has accepted the role of Plutarch Heavensbee in series sequel "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire," Lionsgate confirmed on Monday. “Hunger Games” fans series know Plutarch Heavensbee as Head Gamemaker of the 75th annual Hunger Games and after previous Gamemaker Seneca Crane (played by Wes Bentley) bowed out, it was up to Lionsgate to find a suitable replacement for the next chapter of Suzanne Collins' best-selling series. Adding Hoffma, who was most recently seen onscreen in two Academy Award-nominated films, “Moneyball” and  "The Ides of March," will go from playing a baseball manager to a devious figure in what is sure to be one of 2013’s biggest blockbusters. Hoffman also has a pair of films slated for a 2012 release, with "A Late Quartet" and "The Master" set to drop in the next few months. Obviously, some of the roles will remain the same from the first film and Heavensbee is the first of several vacant roles to be filled. Based on the book, Heavensbee is hiding a secret agenda that will rock the Capitol but won’t become clear to its residents until it is too late to stop him. The actors and actresses to fill portray beloved characters like tributes Finnick Odair and Johanna Mason haven not yet been chosen, but if they are anywhere close to being on par with Hoffman, the film will be in good hands. He is, after all, coming off a Tony-nominated turn in the Broadway revival "Death of a Salesman" alongside "The Amazing Spider-Man" star Andrew Garfield. "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” comes to a theater near you Nov. 22, 2013………..

- Shark attack! Shark attack! Okay, so it may not have happened yet, but there is definite hope of a real-life “Jaws” sequel after multiple great white shark sightings not not far from where the terrifying shark attack movie was filmed. In the waters off the coast of Massachusetts, authorities sounded a cautionary note but some undeterred tourists were still heading to the town of Chatham in the affluent beach resort of Cape Cod in hopes of seeing the predators. In a ruling that will be difficult to enforce, the town has barred beachgoers from swimming within 300 feet of seals, a favorite food of the predatory fish. Chatham harbormaster Stuart Smith confirmed that his office has been alerted about of seal carcasses apparently attacked by sharks found along the eastern shore. “At this time, the town of Chatham is not closing our east-facing beaches to swimming in its entirety, but simply suggesting that beachgoers, mariners and swimmers pay close attention to their surroundings while in the water and to not venture too far from shore,” he said. Mmm hmm, sounds a lot like Roy Scheider when he was first told about sharks in the area in “Jaws.” The Cape Cod Shark Hunters, a group that conducts research with scientists from the Massachusetts Division of Marine Fisheries and the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute, spotted the first two great whites on July 3 and captured one of the beasts in a picture that showed it to be 16 feet long. The group sighted at least three other great whites the previous week, but insisted the sharks are not the blood-thirsty killers they are often portrayed as in Steven Spielberg’s 1975 film. With half a dozen shark sightings last year and more already this year, it may once again be shark season in Cape Cod…………

- Dear NFL running backs: Please stop ending up in the backs of squad cars and taking the long ride downtown. The first recent entry on the list is Minnesota Vikings tailback Adrian Peterson, who was arrested in Houston early Saturday morning after an early morning incident where police say it took three officers to subdue him. Peterson, a Texas native looking to make a comeback from a torn ACL, showed how far he’s come in his recovery by allegedly brawling with officers who asked his group to leave an eatery. He was released from jail Saturday on a $1,000 bond and faces a simple misdemeanor, which has him quoting legendary British statesman Winston Churchill prior to his court appearance on Friday. "'A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on,'" Peterson tweeted. "Thank you for waiting for the facts. Truth will surface." No problem, AD. Even if he is convicted, Houston Police Department spokesperson Kese Smith said that Peterson would probably end up with a fine because the charge is a misdemeanor. What happened Friday night into Saturday morning depends on whose side of the story you believe. The police said Peterson was at a downtown nightclub early Saturday morning when an off-duty Houston police officer working security asked he and a group of people he was with to leave because the club had closed. Even after the man identified himself as a police officer and went off to tell other patrons to leave the club, Peterson’s group was still there. According to the police report, Peterson turned around and told the officer that he heard him the first time and pushed him in the shoulder, causing him to stumble. Unfortunately, he didn’t get hit with a Taser blast and instead resisted when informed he was under arrest and should put his hands behind his back. Peterson began yelling, pulled away and "assumed an aggressive stance," leading a second off-duty officer to help. When they couldn’t corral Peterson, a third off-duty officer jumped in, with a scene eerily reminiscent of NFL defenders trying to tackle Peterson. The All-Pro received some mug shot company when Philadelphia Eagles running back Dion Lewis and his brother were arrested early Saturday morning after they pulled a fire alarm at an Albany, N.Y., area hotel. Believe it or not, these to Mensas were drunk when they were locked out of their Hampton Inn and when they couldn’t find a way back in, they pulled a fire alarm. Police charged both men with falsely reporting a fire, a felony, and misdemeanor reckless endangerment. For a player who ran for just 102 yards last season, that can't be good news for his roster status……….

Silencing Chael Sonnen, Mexican riots and raging punk rockers

- Duuuuuude. Bro, like what is happening to California? First, other states start debating laws to legalize medicinal marijuana or make possession of small amounts of the hippie lettuce on par with a jaywalking ticket, threatening California’s status as America’s stoner utopia. Now, the stats is sustaining self-inflicted wounds to its rightly deserved reputation as the best place to live for those who like to get baked. The city of San Leandro became the latest problem-causer, approving a plan to ban medical marijuana dispensaries. Thankfully, state law supersedes this idiotic idea and a state appeals court ruling Monday that such bans are not permitted under state law has put the brakes on the plan. City Attorney Jayne Williams requested the delay at Monday night's council meeting, so the council did not have is planned vote on an ordinance prohibiting dispensaries for a year. For now, San Leandro has a temporary moratorium on dispensaries.

Needless to say, that moratorium is making it a bit more difficult for local stoners, er, individuals with debilitating pain who need medicinal marijuana for pain relief to get their ganja on. On Monday, the 2nd District Court of Appeal overturned a ban on medical marijuana dispensaries in Los Angeles County, writing that Los Angeles County's "total, per se nuisance ban against medical marijuana dispensaries directly contradicts the Legislature's intent to shield collective or cooperative activity from nuisance abatement 'solely on the basis' that it involves distribution of medical marijuana." Yeah, what they said. That decision forced Williams to suck on a nice, big dose of legal reality and tell the council, "We will collaborate with the League of California Cities on how to proceed.” Hmm, where’s the haughty arrogance now, San Leandro? The court was correct: The state's medical marijuana laws authorize cooperatives and collectives to grow, store and distribute pot, a lower court judge erred when she cited the 2010 ban in granting the county an injunction against the Alternative Medicinal Cannabis Collective last year. Stop debating the asinine concept of a permanent ban and realize that the more than 17,627 marijuana plants 283 pounds of marijuana the city’s and the police department has seized since 2011 are a fraction of the market and chron is not going away……….

- Punk rock has become softer, poppier and more mainstream in recent years…..but not for former Cro-Mags frontman rocker Harley Flanagan. The tattooed rocker the attacked two of the group’s current members with a hunting knife in a dressing room before a show at Webster Hall yesterday — biting one and slashing both. Flanagan’s departure from the band was not a happy one and he clearly decided to bring that unhappiness down upon William Berario, who was slashed above the eye and bitten on his cheek, and Michael Couls, who was cut on his arm and stomach. The attack occurred as the band was about to take the stage about 8:15 p.m. The inked-up, enraged Flanagan barreled through the East Village venue’s VIP section toward the Cro-Mags’ dressing room, concert goers scattering, according to witness and law enforcement sources “Someone was yelling, ‘Get his hands, get his hands, he’s got a knife!’ ” witness Dave Gustav said. “Everything went nuts.” Security guards rushed to stop the attack, which witnesses later admitted hey saw coming after Flanagan was seen acting belligerently outside the venue prior to the show. A skeptic might suggest that Flanagan was probably intoxicated at the time of the altercation, or he’s just not great at attacking people with knives, because he suffered a broken leg by the time security finally pinned him down. Officers handcuffed him to a chair and took him out and as they led him out of the club, fans started booing him and throwing objects at him as Flanagan gave them a big middle finger. Berario and Couls were taken to Bellevue Hospital with non life-threatening wounds and so was Flanagan, who was hit with two counts of second-degree assault. With two members out of action, Cro-Mags hado to cancel the show, which was part of the CBGB Festival. “You can all thank Harley Flanagan for ruining the night for everyone,” Cro-Mags lead singer John Joseph McGowan told the crowd. Thank you cards would definitely be appreciated………

- Does ANY country actually accept the results of its elections these days? No nation in the Middle East, Africa or Asia has responded to the declaration of a victor for any prominent government leadership post with a riot or near-riot in the past 24 months or so. Now that representation rage has spread to Mexico, where tens thousands of angry Mexicans marched in the capital on Saturday to protest against alleged fraud and vote-buying in the country's July 1 presidential election. The march in Mexico City featured drums, flags and chants of ''Out Pena'', in reference to Enrique Pena Nieto, whose victory restored the once-dominant Institutional Revolutionary Party, or PRI, to power after a 12-year hiatus. Runner-up Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador denied he was behind the marches and insisted the demonstration was a citizens' movement. He immediately fanned the flames of dissent by repeating his frequent call for a full probe of alleged vote-buying by the PRI. A recount of more than half of 50.3 million ballots cast was completed on Friday was apparently not enough, even though the recount gave Nieto 38.2 percent compared to 31.6 percent for Obrador. Opposition groups have alleged that the PRI handed out bank cards, groceries and other gifts in exchange for votes and those claims have raised concerns that Nieto will be tolerant of the corruption that marked the PRI's previous 71-year-rule until 2000. Obrador has not yet returned to his tactics of six years ago, when he lost the election and called for supporters to take to the streets. The former mayor of Mexico City lost the 2006 race to President Felipe Calderon by less than a percentage point and his supporters occupied Mexico City's central plaza and main business avenue for weeks with encampments. Venezuelan despot Hugo Chavez has also weighed in, congratulating Nieto on his win and recognizing him as el presidente. The ruling National Action Party, or PAN, whose candidate finished third, has also accused the PRI of fraud and vote-buying, so everyone who lost seems to be in agreement that those who won cheated to do so. Now the question is whether anyone can prove it and change the final result…………

- For nearly two years, loud-mouthed Chael Sonnen talked ridiculous amounts of junk about Ultimate Fighting Championship 185-pound champion Anderson Silva, all but denying Silva’s win by submission meeting on Aug. 7, 2010, ever happened. Sonned talked smack about Silva’s family, his country and anything else he could imagine even though Silva locked him in a triangle choke in the fifth round of their 2010 bout despite Silva dominating the first four-plus rounds. He promised a win in the rematch, then went out and get his ass kicked and knocked out in the second round Saturday night. Silva rebuffed Sonnen's takedown attempts and landed a knee to the chest as the challenger was on the canvas after missing with a spinning backfist. He followed the knee with several hard punches that forced referee Yves Lavigne to wave the fight off at the 1:55 mark. Sonned came out at the start of the fight looking like he may actually make good on his boasting, dominating the first round by taking Silva to the mat and pounding the champion Silva with punches and elbows. But Silva rallied back and although he failed on his own threats to break all of Sonnen’s teeth, arms and legs, he walked out of the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Los Vegas as the champion. Both fighters handled themselves with class after the fight. "Chael fought me and I fought Chael," Silva proclaimed. "This is a sport. I have nothing against Chael. "If you [Chael] would like to have a barbecue at my house, I'd like to have you over. Sonnen, who some may have expected to continue taking shots at Silva in the wake of a loss, actually responded in kind. "He gave me an opportunity," Sonnen said. "He didn't owe me anything. He's a great champion. "He got me with a good knee." The man who had to be smiling the biggest at the end of the night was UFC president Dana White, as the attendance for UFC 148 was a sellout of 15,016 and the $7 million gate is largest in UFC history…………

A quality coup, high-speed trains in Cali and Buckeye football mayhem

- Urban Meyer isn't taking nearly as long as expected to re-create at Ohio State what he had at Florida before bailing on, er, um, deciding he didn’t like what college football had become and took a whole year off to make his point and/or spend time with his family. Since Meyer took over, the Buckeyes are racking up arrests at an impressive rate, with of starting tight end Jake Stoneburner and offensive tackle Jack Mewhort arrested in early June after an incident stemming from public urination and being suspended from the team before having their scholarships “taken away” even though they will be allowed to earn them back. Now, senior linebacker Storm Klein had one-upped those arrests with a single charge of domestic violence and one for assault, according to a Franklin County Municipal Court case summary. Although the specifics of Klein’s case are not yet known, domestic violence and felony assault sure sound like beating the sh*t our of a date or girlfriend. Klein was arraigned Saturday morning and the 6-foot-3, 240-pounder with blonde hair named in the police report as a domestic abused he is likely to face punishment from Meyer at some point. "We are aware, obviously, of the situation," a school spokesman said in a statement. "We are in the process of gathering more information. "At this point we won't have further comment until after we know and understand all the details." Like Mewhort and Stoneburner, Klein is a key player for the Buckeyes and started 10 games for the Buckeyes last season, posting 45 tackles with an interception, a sack, a forced fumble and a recovery. Now, he has as many criminal charges this offseason as he had forced turnovers last season. Urban Meyer’s brand of football is really taking root in Columbus………..

- America is one step closer to catching up with the rest of the world, at least when it comes to travel. While other global powers and even second-tier countries have long embraced the idea of high-speed rail travel, Americans have never quite gotten on board with the concept, pun intended. That will change in the years ahead for the only group of people in the United States who may actually have more of a superiority complex than New Yorkers: Californians. The largely plastic, pretty people by the Pacific Ocean are getting high-speed - rail, that is, California's Senate on Friday approved funding for the first chunk of a high-speed rail system that is expected to eventually link Los Angeles to San Francisco, securing $2.6 billion in bonds with their vote and assuring that while Washington will provide an additional $3.2 billion. The result was met with enthusiasm by those who support the project. "Not only will California be the first state in the nation to build a high-speed rail system to connect our urban centers, we will also modernize and improve rail systems at the local and regional level. This plan will improve mobility for commuters and travelers alike, reduce emissions, and put thousands of people to work while enhancing our economic competitiveness," said Dan Richard, chair of the California High-Speed Rail Authority, a state agency. By its completion, the project is projected to cost more than $68 billion and the gravity of that amount showed in a close 21-16 vote. With California Gov. Jerry Brown a dogged supporter of the bill, it will almost certainly be signed into law and the project’s The first phase is set to be built in the state's Central Valley. Farmers who will lose land to the project are predictably upset and probably still will be after their land is ripped from their hands and turned into a rail line……….

- Because there aren’t enough apps to help every absent-minded fool who loses their expensive new smartphome, AT&T has launched a new service Tuesday that will allegedly to make life fairly difficult for anyone who picks up the device you lost - especially if they were the one who it. A new AT&T stolen phone repository will allow customers to kill the voice, data, and text messaging on any device they've reported as stolen. Rather than going with the standard full SIM block or otherwise forcing a phone theft victim to cancel his or her account and subscribe anew, AT&T will simply add the device to alleged "block list." To do this, the company will need to use the phone's IMEI, or International Mobile Equipment Identity, to match the block with a unique device regardless of whatever SIM card gets used with the phone. If the forgetful owner discovers his or her missing iPhone or Droid, he or she will only need to contact AT&T to have the phone removed from the company's blocking service. The one main downside is that users will need to perform any remote-wipe features they might have on their phones (or installed via a third-party app) before contacting AT&T to issue the block. They will also have to suffer the ever-frustrating experience of having a conversation with to a customer service representative at AT&T to issue or release the stole phone blocking service. The end result won't be a centralized directory of "blocked" devices, but anything close to that would be dicey because it must fit fits the goals of the Federal Communications Commission's recently announced national stolen phone database. The FCC wants all LTE smartphones across all carriers to have the option for receive a system-wide block, if the device is reported as stolen, by late 2013. AT&T hopes to beat that deadline by several months…………

- It’s time for another political coup to oust an unwanted leader and today’s spin o’ the globe takes us to….Romania, where the country’s cabinet met on Saturday to prepare for a referendum that will decide whether President Traian Basescu is impeached, after parliament cleared the way for the crucial vote. Of Romania’s 432 lawmakers, of 256 voted on Friday in favour of impeaching the centre-right president, clearing the way for a national referendum to be held July 29. Both the country’s ombudsman its two speakers in parliament have warned that that the EU state's democracy is under threat, but clearly the parliament doesn’t care. Basescu is officially suspended from duty and Crin Antonescu of the ruling Liberal Social Union (USL), has been appointed acting president. The vote marks the latest chapter in a bitter feud between Basescu and his arch rival, centre-left Prime Minister Victor Ponta, who jubilantly told his cabinet after Friday’s vote that the government would now be able to act freely. "Now all of the obstacles that have got in the way since our government came to power are gone," he said. "We are going to have to prove that we can function well now that we don't have to worry about any objections to the decisions we take." One might even call the vote against Basecu a mutiny against the former sea captain who now faces impeachment over claims he improperly assumed the powers of the prime minister when he announced drastic austerity cuts in 2010. The cuts were required in order to receive for a multi-billion-dollar bailout from the European Union and IMF, but they were also immensely unpopular. Anger at the president at an all-time high and his second term of office, due to end in 2014, could end much, much sooner. Undeterred, Barescuo took to Twitter to fight back in 140 characters or less. "Armed with the truth and the constitution, let's have a referendum," he tweeted.  The fight is already on, as the government revealed plans to fire the parliamentary speakers and ombudsman, along with sack Constitutional Court judges. Various world powers expressed concern over the move……….

Def Lep rises, crazy cat ladies and suicide and whaling in South Korean waters

- Crazy cat ladies have psychological problems? No way. According to a study led by Dr. Teodor Postolache, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, the problems normally associated with lonely women who take in dozens of stray cats and turn their home into a giant litter box of filth and squalor are not the only mental stumbling blocks for these individuals. In a study involving more than 45,000 women in Denmark, Postolache and his team found found women infected with the Toxoplasma gondii (T. gondii) parasite, which is spread through contact with cat feces or eating undercooked meat or unwashed vegetables, are at increased risk of attempting suicide. In a disturbing bit of news, one-third of the world’s population is infected with the parasite, which hides in cells in the brain and muscles, often without producing symptoms. The infection, known as toxoplasmosis, has been linked to mental illness, such as schizophrenia, and changes in behavior. “We can’t say with certainty that T. gondii caused the women to try to kill themselves, but we did find a predictive association between the infection and suicide attempts later in life that warrants additional studies,” Postolache explained. Postolache is a leading expert on suicide neuroimmunology and his is the largest ever of T. gondii and attempted suicide and the first prospective study to document suicide attempts that occurred after the infection was discovered. In tandem with researchers in Denmark, Germany and Sweden, Postolache is working to further examine the various factors in the higher suicide rates. In cats, the the T. gondii parasite thrives in the intestines and eventually spreads to their brain and muscles, hiding from the immune system within “cysts” inside cells. Humans can contract the parasite hanging their infected cats’ litter boxes, eating unwashed vegetables, drinking water from a contaminated source or by eating undercooked or raw meat that is infested with cysts. In the study, researchers scoured Danish health registries to determine if any women who contracted the parasite later attempted suicide, including cases of violent suicide attempts which may have involved guns, sharp instruments and jumping from high places. They found that women infected with T. gondii were one and a half times more likely to attempt suicide compared to those who were not infected. However, the study did not filter out other possible causes of the suicidal behavior, so maybe crazy cat ladies are simply crazy for other reasons……….

- Central Florida basketball player Marcus Jordan will never be as great as his father and that is a reality he has lived with his entire life. But just because the son of former NBA great Michael Jordan can’t live up to his old man’s standards on the court doesn’t mean he has to turn his life into a train wreck away from it. That’s exactly what Marcus Jordan seems intent on doing and his latest misstep came when he was arrested in Omaha early Sunday following a disturbance outside a downtown hotel. Police responded to a call at the Embassy Suites and found hotel security trying to subdue Jordan, who was engaged in an argument with two women in the hotel driveway at 2:11 a.m. Amazingly enough, he was also drunk off his ass. People who are belligerent and disorderly in a public place at 2 a.m. are never, ever drunk. A police report said Jordan was "very animated, intoxicated and uncooperative," and it took multiple officers to control and handcuff him.

 Sadly, he was not on the receiving end of a Taser blast, which really would have made it an entertaining story. He was booked at the Douglas County Department of Corrections for resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and obstructing and released a few hours later. The arrest comes on the heels of a recent Twitter slip-up in which Jordan tweeted out to a porn star about paying her for sex, apparently not understanding the difference between a tweet that can be seen by the world and a direct message, which can be seen only by the recipient. Ironically, Jordan has been a rising star on the court and averaged 13.7 points for UCF last season, even as his personal life is coming off the rails……….

- Eating pizza that tastes like cardboard and playing in a grossly unsanitary pit of large plastic balls that hundreds of children have dragged their germs into is about to get a lot cooler. Chuck E. Cheese, a national franchise operation of more than 500 pizza restaurants, is ditching its longtime cartoon mascot in favor of something cooler. The giant rodent's outdated likeness and the man who voiced its character for nearly two decades are out and CEC Entertainment Inc. launched a national ad campaign Thursday with a revamped image of Chuck E. Cheese as a hip, electric-guitar-playing rock star. The original Chuck E. Cheese, now 35 years old, was a New Jersey rat who sometimes carried a cigar. He is now a cartoon mouse playing a guitar and will be voiced by the hacky, faux-punk/pop stylings of Jaret Reddick, the lead singer for the pop-punk bank Bowling for Soup. CEC Entertainment, based in Irving, Texas, is struggling mightily to convince the public to come in and enjoy its games, prizes and a musical variety show featuring creepy, oversized robotic puppets. Revenue at its locations open at least a year fell 4.2 percent in the first quarter. Duncan Brannan, the man who had voiced Chuck E. Cheese in restaurants and commercials since 1993, didn’t exactly get a heads-up that he was being replaced. In fact, he learned of his firing as the voice of the mascot only after coming across "Chuck's Hot New Single" online and realizing it was sung by someone else. CEC Entertainment went with some true corporate bullsh*t in explaining Brannan’s status with the company, insisting he wasn't fired but that it simply "chose to utilize new voice talent" and saying he is still in contract with the company to provide entertainment in its restaurants. Whatever you say, cardboard pizza servers………

- For a change of pace, how about the world being pissed at South Korea instead of the Communist hellhole at the northern end of the Korean Peninsula? The South is drawing the ire of environmental groups around the Pacific Rim for its plan to begin scientific whaling. The plan was quickly condemned by the Australian Greens, an envrionmental group lobbying for diplomatic pressure on South Korea for its decision. Australian Greens spokesman Greg Hunt labeled the plan a complete surprise and a deep disappointment. "The world is moving away from whaling, this is a practice of the past," Hunt said. “We would roundly reject this and I think this is an area where there could be very strong bipartisan support in Australia to oppose the push for a renewal of whaling by South Korea.” Hunt believes Australia and other countries in the region can band together to stop South Korea from starting its new hobby. "I would hope that the Australian government is talking with the South Koreans today," he said. There should be no delay. There should be no half messages. What we need is complete clarity that this is an unacceptable practice and it's a negative step." Kang Joon-Suk, the South Korean delegate to an International Whaling Commission (IWC) gathering in Panama, announced the plan to conduct whaling for scientific research. Non-lethal sighting surveys were rejected as insufficient. Commerical fishermen in South Korean waters have complained about minke whales causing problems for their operations and have asked the government to address the problem. "This is because they are experiencing disturbances in their fishing activities due to frequent occurrences of cetaceans in their fishing grounds and an increasing number of minke whales are eating away large amount of fish stocks which should be consumed by human being (sic)," Kang said. Environmental experts expect South Korea to target minke whales in the Sea of Japan, which Koreans call the East Sea. The IWC has imposed a moratorium on commercial whaling since 1986, but Japan has exploited a loophole in the ruling that allows the killing of whales for scientific research and now South Korea wants to follow suit. Australia, New Zealand and other anti-whaling nations objected to the plan and South Korean officials refused to promise anything more than hearing their concerns. Time to swim for safer waters, Sea of Japan whales……..

- What has nine arms, rocks and is planning to re-record its entire back catalogue? Classic ‘80s rockers Def Leppard, that’s who. For those who aren't fans of classic rock, the nine-arms joke is commonly made by classless a-holes as a shot at Rick Allen, the band’s drummer who lost an arm in a car accident but continued to drum with a modified set. Modification is on the minds of Def Leppard at the moment, as the band wants to re-do their back catalog following a disagreement with their one-time record label Universal over royalties and compensation for digital downloads. Frontman Joe Elliott said that the disagreement has led to the band deciding to phase out their recordings for Universal and swap them out for an all-new collection of the same songs, which the band is “forgeries.” "We'll just replace our back catalogue with brand new, exact same versions of what we did," Elliott said. Def Leppard’s music has never veered far from the public consciousness on account of 1987's “Pour Some Sugar on Me” being the classic stripper anthem for as long as it has existed. The band re-recorded the song for the bomb-tastic movie musical “Rock of Ages,” starring the newly-divorced Tom Cruise, and Elliott explained that re-recording the rest of the songs was merely a matter of grabbing for more cash, er, um, having them in fans’ hands as soon as possible. "We just wanted studio versions of those songs available for this summer,” Elliott said. "You just don't go in and say: 'Hey guys, let's record it,' and it's done in three minutes... Where am I gonna find a 22-year-old voice? I had to sing myself into a certain throat shape to be able to sing that way again. It was really hard work, but we did have a good laugh over it here and there.” With the re-done Def Lep classics on the way, mulleted dudes everywhere can climb into their totally bitchin’ Camaro, rock their fanny pack and proudly roll in their neon-green sunglasses to celebrate………..

A new "Oz," bad prayers and tennis grunting

- God clearly did not like the prayer offered up by Sharon Davis, the pastor of Seminole Heights United Methodist Church in Seminole Heights, Fla. Davis was out for her nightly walk Sunday when she stopped to sit on the church stairs to reflect and pray. It was a routine she had carried out many times before, but this time she was on the wrong end of a falling tree. The tree fell on her and knocked her to the ground, but thankfully some good Samaritans heard her scream and came to help. "The tree fell and covered the stairs and we could hear her scream," said Jordan Miller, who was working at his bike shop across the street from the church. "We saw her down on the ground, and that's when we realized what happened." Miller’s girlfriend called 911 while he and several other people nearby rushed over to help. "It's a strange series of events, but I'm thankful it happened the way it did and she didn't get pinned under the tree or hurt more seriously than she did," Miller said. Davis was taken to the hospital with numerous injuries, none of them serious, and was released after a few hours. Ever the kind soul, Davis sent word through church spokeswoman Christie Hess that she is thankful no one else was injured. "It could have been the congregation leaving the church," Hess said. "And you know what? There were eyewitnesses who were right there at the time it occurred, so she got immediate attention right then and there." The tree will be removed and Davis will enjoy some down time as she recovers from her injuries and tries to get back to work. Maybe she should also work on her prayers because that last one did not seem to work……….

- The long, agonizing process of building hype for Sam Raimi's upcoming film “Oz The Great and Powerful.” The first piece of the promotional puzzle for the movie that will take fans back into the Land of Oz to explore the origins of the titular wizard in L. Frank Baum’s classic story “The Wizard of Oz” first teased fans with a picture of star James Franco in costume for his role as Oscar Diggs in the Disney adventure film. Now, a colorful poster featuring an oncoming storm and a hot air balloon caught in the chaos has been released and judging by the poster, the movie will have much to do with what might have been going on before Dorothy arrived in Oz. Gregory Maguire's “Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West” tells the origin story of the great and powerful Elphaba, but Raimi’s project will focus on Oscar Diggs, the man who would go on to be the Wizard of Oz. It feels somewhat like the “Wolverine: Origins” movie that tried to squeeze a few more dollars out of the “X-Men” franchise and picks up the story as Diggs is hurled into Oz and forced to prove his worth as a wizard before three witches (played by Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams). Of course, the wizard in “The Wizard of Oz” proved to be a lot of show and not much of an actual wizard, but the way Disney has hyped “Oz the Great and Powerful,” Oscar Diggs may receive some significant character upgrades. The poster itself focuses much more on the setting of the film than it does on Franco’s character, but if the color and richness of the poster is any indication, “Oz the Great and Powerful” will be a tour de force for the eyes if nothing else………..

- Unhhhhhhh! Unnnnnnngggghhhhh! If that sounds familiar, you’ve probably been watching a lot of women’s professional tennis lately. And if you’ve been watching a lot of women’s tennis lately, you’ve probably been watching it for the eye candy, for hot, leggy young blondes in short tennis skirts sprinting all over the court, lunging for shots and competing to win some tournament whose name you can’t even remember. Sex appeal is an unquestioned part of women’s tennis and for a lot of dudes, that sex appeal is heightened by hot women grunting in….um….provocative ways every time they hit a shot. Grunting has become so universal and so loud that it has become a distraction and an irritant for many, including critics who say it isn’t necessary to sound like you’re either passing a kidney stone or in the throes of passion in the bedroom on every forehand or drop shot. The Women's Tennis Association has heard those complaints (and the grunts) and is now working with the International Tennis Federation and Grand Slam Tournament committees to create policies and rules to curb excessive grunting in large part to appease fans who don't like the loud noises. WTA CEO Stacey Allaster explained in a recent interview that she has heard from fans who are concerned about the noise level of grunting players and also that the WTA wants to address the issue on the junior tennis level to prevent another generation of screamers. Ironically enough, the loudest and most prominent grunter happens to be the reigning French Open champion and No. 1 ranked women's tennis player in the world, Maria Sharapova. Sharapova happens to be über-hot, but not every likes hearing a hot, leggy Russian blond grunting her way through a Grand Slam match. Allaster suggested that players who grunt too loudly could eventually be disciplined, lose points and even be fined if they are repeat offenders……..

- Paranoid much, Iran? Not that conspiracy theories aren’t awesome, but what are the odds that the BBC actually hacked the website of Iran's state TV station to change the results of a poll about Iran's nuclear program? Iran’s paranoia about the rest of the world eyeing its supposedly energy-oriented nuclear program is well known, but accusing a foreign media outlet of hacking a website to change an online poll – one of the most meaningless forms of survey known to man – is a new level of ridiculous. Iran insists its nuclear program is for peaceful purposes like energy production and somehow, a poll showing that 63 percent of respondents favored halting uranium enrichment in exchange for an end to Western economic sanctions is a near-terrorist act. According to Iranian officials, the actual figure was 24 percent, and the rest favored retaliation against the West with measures like closing the strategic Strait of Hormuz, a key to exporting oil from the Gulf. For the record, the BBC denied the allegation, probably because it is completely insane and also because the BBC has better things to do. In a statement, the BBC denounced the claims as "both ludicrous and completely false, and the BBC Persian Service stands by its reporting. There is a significant audience within Iran which depends on BBC Persian to provide impartial and trusted news, and we are confident they are familiar with the state media's tactics.” The alleged poll conspiracy became a moot point after the poll was taken off Iran TV's website on Tuesday. Stay paranoid, Iran, stay paranoid………

- Clearly, the iPad is not small enough for everyone and the iPhone isn’t big enough. In the middle ground of touch-screen technology, Apple reportedly wants to claim even more territory with a potential miniature tablet - smaller than the iPad but larger than the iPhone. Rumors of the mini-iPad have been circulating on the Internet for a while now, but new reports from a series of credible news sources have emerged and the possibility of a tiny tablet from Apple could become reality by the end of the year. According to sources, component manufacturers in Asia (where of course underpaid, overworked factory employees crank out Apple products) have been instructed o prepare for mass production of the smaller tablet, which will be smaller than 8 inches. The current iPad has a 9.7-inch screen and the iPhone 3GS has a 3.5-inch screen, so the theoretical in-between device would be somewhere around 6-7 inches, which would help Apple better compete with Amazon's Kindle Fire and Google's newly introduced Nexus 7. Both of those devices retail for $200, significantly lower than the $499 starting price for the iPad. October is the rumored release date for the mini-iPad, but similar rumors have leaked before and never materialized. Whispers about a third-generation iPad to be offered in two screen sizes never materialized and the late Steve Jobs shot down the idea of a 7-inch iPad because at that size, "the screen is too small to express the software." Now that Jobs has passed away, maybe Apple’s stance on the idea will change…………

Nuns v. strippers, air quality apps and Radiohead-scored polar bear films

- Art is one of the most subjective topics imaginable. What is beautiful and worth millions of dollars to one man is an indecipherable mess of squiggly lines and shapes in random places to another. There is nothing random of subjective about the $35 million price a piece by English romantic painter John Constable fetched over the weekend at an auction in London. Christie's auction house confirmed the record-setting sale price for "The Lock," finished in 1824. It is one of six paintings from Constable's celebrated series depicting the Stour Valley and came from the collection of Baroness Carmen Thyssen-Bornemisza. That a baroness was affiliated with the painting in any way makes it sound infinitely cooler and classier and the buyer, whose identity was no released after he or she purchased the painting Tuesday night in an anonymous phone bid, paid dearly for the right to own a piece said to be "remarkable for its excellent state of preservation." “The Lock” was also the last of Constable’s six-piece series to remain in private hands, according to Christie's. The estimated sale price by the auction house prior to the bidding was between 20 and 25 million pounds and the final price was right in the middle of that range, at 22.4 million pounds. And yes, this sounds like exactly the sort of rich person purchase that the masses hate because it reeks of arrogance and superiority complex as most people are scraping just to get by and rich folks are doling out 20 times more than the average person will make in a lifetime on a piece of art with no practical value……….

- Clone Joe Torre and populate the entire Baseball Hall of Fame selection committee with those clones. That’s the only way Roger Clemens will be elected to the hall. Despite his exoneration on charges of lying to Congress about his use of performance-enhacing drugs because the government botched the case so profoudnly, Clemens’ chances for the hall remain low, much like others tied to PEDs, men like Bar-roid Bonds, Mark McJuicer/McGwire and Sammy Sosa. But when he become eligible for the honor during the next round of voting, one of his former managers believes he belongs in Cooperstown. “He is to me,” Torre said. “I can’t make other people look at him that way. I can just tell you the way I feel. I was proud to have him play for me. He always gave you everything he had and I always respected that.” No one is questioning Clemens’ competitive fire or his desire to win; what people do question is whether that competitive drive led him to take shortcuts to greatness. After all, how many athletes have some of the best years of their career as they bear down on 40 and throw as hard as ever in their final few seasons? Torre managed Clemens in New York from 1999-2003 and again in 2007 and clearly has a soft spot for Roid-ger, saying the former seven-time Cy Young Award winner was “like a son to me.” But even Torre admits Clemens will never fully shake the stigma of steroids. “Unfortunately the question mark is always going to be there with him,” he added. “It’s something that’s sad for me. Because Roger Clemens, and the way that he went about his business, I disliked him like everybody else until I got a chance to know him.” It’s nice that someone has Roid-ger’s back………..

- There really is an app for everything. In a world where pollution is a growing problem and most governments are lax to address the issue of air quality, a new free app from the American Lung Association is available to show users the air quality in their area and lets them know when it might be best to stay indoors. State of the Air, as the app is known, rovides real-time updates on levels of ozone and particulate pollution in the atmosphere -- the two most widespread air pollutants, and among the most dangerous, in the United States. Is this really a problem in the U.S. – other than Los Angeles – as opposed to, say, any city in China? "More than 127 million people live in areas of the country where there are dangerous levels of ozone and particulate pollution, which are the two key pollutants that we address in our new smartphone app," said Carrie Martin Munk, a former vice president of communications and marketing for the American Lung Association. "We really wanted to empower individuals with the tools that can help them live healthier lives." The app tracks ground-level ozone, produced by emissions from industrial plants, electric utilities and motor vehicle exhaust. It is one of the most common air pollutants, causing lung irritation and other health concerns. Additionally, the app monitors particulates, a mix of breathable bits of soot, exhaust, metals and chemicals, are detrimental to both the heart and lungs and among the most dangerous air pollutants, with the readings provided by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Air quality data includes current conditions as well as forecasts for later in the day and the following day. When air quality is low, the app provides alerts based on the Air Quality Index (AQI), which is a scale showing how clean or polluted the air is. These alerts offer guidelines on whether it might be best to cut back on outdoor activities, especially for at-risk individuals. "It's especially valuable for moms whose kids have asthma for when they have after-school soccer practices to know what kind of air they're going to be dealing with and to make decisions for a healthier life," Munk said. Poor air quality affects even healthy people and can be especially hard on those suffering from a range of illnesses. Individuals with lung disease, like asthma or COPD, people with heart disease, diabetes, older adults and even children are all susceptible to the effects of polluted air. App users can also share their air quality alerts through Facebook, Twitter and email. The ALA hopes all of these connections will significantly raise awareness about air quality. The organization is responsible for the annual report detailing the most-polluted cities in the United States and California continues to dominate the list, with Los Angeles, Bakersfield, and Fresno holding strong at the top of the rankings as usual……….

- The musical credibility of British rockers Radiohead and the directorial skills of actor Jude Law don’t seem like a natural match, but that combination will be at the heart of a new campaign film for environmental activist group Greenpeace. Law and Radiohead will team up to produce a film that tells the story of a polar bear forced out of her Arctic habitat due to climate change and features the Radiohead track “Everything In Its Right Place” from the band's 2000 album “Kid A.” Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke, who has always had activist leanings, explained the reason he and his band wanted to be involved with the film. "We have to stop the oil giants pushing into the Arctic. An oil spill in the Arctic would devastate this region of breathtaking beauty, while burning that oil will only add to the biggest problem we all face, climate change," Yorke said. Other prominent names in music and Hollywood have also signed on for the campaign, including Paul McCartney. These famous faces join Greenpeace and members of the public in signing and promoting an Arctic Scroll calling for the Arctic to be protected. In a noble (and probably meaningless) gesture, once the campaign gets a million names, Greenpeace will plant the Scroll in the sea bed in the North Pole. “That’s why I’m backing this campaign, and why I have signed the Arctic Scroll. I’ll know whenever I look north that my name is planted at the bottom of the ocean at the top of the world as a permanent statement of our joint commitment to save the Arctic,” Yorke added. The good news, even if one doesn’t give a damn about the campaign, is everyone can enjoy a movie featuring an adorable polar bear with great rock music as a soundtrack………..

- There is a lot of potential here and Stone Park, Ill. may have just inspired a terrible movie script that could become the cornerstone of a revival for Whoopi Goldberg and the “Sister Act” franchise. The Chicago suburb is the epicenter of an epic battle between those classic, ages-old nemeses, nuns and strippers. Yes, there are some strippers whose stage persona includes donning a nun’s outfit, but it’s doubtful any of those skanks are actual nuns. A group of legit nuns at the convent of the Missionary Sisters of St. Charles Borromeo and the order’s home for retired nuns are locked in a pitched battle to stop the planned opening of the Get It gentleman’s club (a verrrry subtle name, by the way) because they believe it will plunge their peaceful neighborhood into the darkness of lascivious anarchy and moral decay. The club is just over the border of neighboring Melrose Park and the sisters of the Missionary Sisters of St. Charles Borromeo have been fighting against the club for months now. “We believe in the family values of Stone Park. We want a healthy community,” Sister Noemia Silva said. The club was supposed to open in April, but road construction along Lake Street has slowed those plans down. Silva believes the Almighty intervened in the form of road grading, asphalt and orange barrels. “God answers prayers in different ways, whether it’s the construction or what have you,” Silva says. “Take it whichever way you like it.” To keep their cause in the public eye, the sisters organized a protest Monday that featured children, parents and nuns releasing clusters of helium balloons inscribed with messages of peace, love and hope – and opposition to drug-addled skanks with daddy issues taking off their clothes for $1 bills. Oddly enough, the club’s owners refused comment on the issue and did not want to respond to a Roman Catholic legal group, the Thomas More society, sending them a letter claiming the state liquor control act forbids a license to the club. Sounds like the nuns won’t be enjoying a lap dance any time soon…………

Kenny Powers lives, Donovan McNabb persists and a TV weather girl turned beauty queen

- Local TV anchors, especially female ones, tend to get their jobs at least in part because they are, um, good eye candy. Sure, they can be smart and well-educated and many are, but obese chicks with mullets and full upper-arm tattoos aren't getting jobs as news anchors or weather girls. Fox 44 meteorologist Chelsea Ingram, who predicts the weather for Burlington, Vermont’s news leader, is the walking embodiment of this reality and now she has the sash and crown to prove it. In what had to be a very prestigious event held at the event Mecca that is South Burlington High School, 10 contestants from around the state competed for the crown. You know your state is small when only 10 women are competing for a beauty pageant title and the pageant is held at a local high school. For being named Miss Vermont, Ingram receives $9,000 in scholarships, over $12,000 in prizes and the opportunity to compete for the Miss America title in Las Vegas. Her story is truly a miraculous rise from obscurity as a post-graduate student at Lyndon State College to being offered a job before the end of her first semester and offering inaccurate weather forecasts to a city that lives in a perpetual state of winter. In her year as Miss Vermont, Ingram will have to balance her day job with traveling the dozens and dozens of miles around the state, advocating her platform issue, heart disease. Her pretty face will talk to various government representatives, business leaders, community groups and citizens-at-large, urging them to do more on the issue of heart disease and prevention………

- Facebook changes never go over well with the social networking site’s millions of users. No matter how small or obscure, once news of the changes gets out, mass outrage follows. This time, Facebook may actually deserve the anger being hurled its way like monkey feces being flung by the inmates at the zoo. After new @facebook.com e-mail addresses assigned to every user led to contact email addresses being reset for millions of those users, Facebook was quick to place the blame on a virus. A Facebook official said the social network did intend to give its exclusive visibility on user profiles, but blamed the bug for resetting the contacts’ email addresses for users. The changes led to misdirected e-mails across the Internet and on certain devices, the bug was syncing the last e-mail linked to the account instead of the primary address set by a user, Facebook engineering director Andrew Bosworth confirmed. This led to phones were pulling down @facebook.com addresses, unknown to their users, leading to messages sent to the wrong, and often unchecked, inboxes. While many devices did not have the issue, enough users were affected for the issue to go viral. Facebook insisted it was working on the issue and expected to have it resolved soon so smartphones will go back to pulling correct addresses. Until then, users can cope by adjusting their privacy settings to get their show their primary e-mail address and not their Facebook one. In an ironic twist, the new Facebook email system was supposed to give users more control over their messages. Once the system is in place and the bugs are ironed out, users can specify whether they want to receive messages from Friends, Friend of Friends, or Everyone and they may actually receive those messages. Under the new system, if someone sends an e-mail to a @facebook.com address and it's from an address associated with a Facebook friend or friend of friend's accounts, it will go into the inbox. All other messages will be sent to a separate folder, unless the user has specified in his or her privacy settings that they only want to receive messages from friends or friend of friends, in which case the message will be rejected. It sounds confusing, but eventually it may work, even if a lot of people are infuriated along the way…………

- The wisdom of Kenny Powers lives on. Powers, the fictional baseball star of HBO's "Eastbound and Down," is alive and well after being presumed dead and off to the TV afterlife. Powers, who says bombastic things like, “I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than f**k. So that is why I am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my d**k, everyone,” was supposed to be done after three seasons. The smack-talking, watercraft-loving, heat-throwing all-star had the apparent final chapter of his story in the show’s spring finale, co-produced by Will Ferrell and frequent collaborator Adam McKay. The episode appeared to chronicle the end of the Powers saga as long-suffering assistant Stevie moved out of Powers’ Myrtle Beach pad, Powers’ sex-and-drug-paraphernalia-laden baby room was turned back into a dojo and the star of the show was called up to the majors, smoked a couple of strikes and then walked away and appeared to die in a fiery DUI car crash. That turned out to be a ruse, as Powers has apparently taken a page from the playbook of Dr. Gregory House, the star of Fox’s hit medical series “House,” and faked his own death. House faked his demise by setting a building on fire and escaping at the last minute, but Powers faked his passing with different motives. The plan now that HBO has ordered eight more episodes of the Danny McBride-starring show is for Powers to get back with his lady love April and realize that being a star athlete isn’t everything. McBride sounded like a man ready to move on and hang up La Flama Blanca's cleats. "HBO definitely wants us, and [co-creator] Jody Hill and I love writing for the show," McBride said. e. "But there is other stuff we'd like to do. Both of us are ready to make jokes concerning people who don't have strange haircuts." Whether it was a huge contract offer or merely the realization that he could no longer be a fictional baseball badass, McBride apparently has a few fastballs left to throw………..

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Life turned violent Monday in western China, where a violent protest against a planned copper alloy plant certainly kicked things up a notch. Protestors began gathering outside a local government building Sunday, one day too late to crash a signing ceremony for the contract to build the $1.6-billion metal factory but in plenty of time to clash with police. Thousands of residents skirmished with The Man even as the Shifang government in Sichuan province warned on its micro-blog Tuesday that anyone who had “enticed, planned and organized the illegal gathering and protest or participated in the vandalism ... would be severely published.” That sounds like an open invitation to any self-respecting dissident and sure enough, the sh*t his the fan Monday when police fired tear gas and stun grenades into the crowd, estimated by some to be in the tens of thousands and with many elderly and children in attendance. Why did police respond so violently? Because they were under attack from a hodgepodge of flying implements, including bricks, potted plants and water bottles. The government said 13 protesters were injured in the melee, but opposition groups placed the number higher and speculated that there may have been fatalities. Despite the excessive reaction to the protest, the uprising did achieve its aim as the government announced it would suspend the project and seek counsel from local residents on how to proceed. In an odd twist, officials then blamed the Dalai Lama and the banned spiritual group Falun Gong for instigating the unrest. “Ordinary people basically worried that the Hongda program would pollute their environment,” Chen Lin, Shifang’s vice director of propaganda and spokesman, said. “They first started something online, then they put it into practice. A lot of people were simply watching in the beginning, but then some extreme people were involved and then created physical conflicts.” If only there were more of those “extreme people” in the world.  Images of authorities beating residents with batons, police vehicles overturned and protesters carrying signs circulated online in the hours after the attack, showing the boldness of the protestors as they sought to block a project they believe will harm the already heavily-polluted environment in their region……….

- It’s too bad Donovan McNabb doesn’t own an NFL team or run his own hall of fame because then, he could be a starting quarterback and a surefire hall of famer in waiting. The 35-year-old former All-Pro, who has fallen off a virtual cliff the past couple years, first being traded from Philadelphia to Washington before moving on to Minnesota and losing his starting job to rookie Christian Ponder after six games last season, said not long ago that he believes he belongs in the Hall of Fame. "Even these last two years, when people may look at it and say, 'Oh, he's done, or whatever.' I'm 34, 35 years old, but still, I played at the pinnacle, I played at the highest level of my career. I played there," McNabb said. "And I would vote for myself for the Hall of Fame." Even though he was released by the Vikings and there hasn’t exactly been a line of teams wanting to sign him, McNabb has made it know that he has lost weight and gotten into better shape in recent months, raising the obvious question of why he didn’t dedicate himself to his conditioning sooner. But late last week, he predicted there's "an 80 to 90 percent chance" he'll play this season. "I do want to play," he explained. "The most important thing is I have about three teams I'm looking at. ... We won't name those three teams." The key in McNabb’s statement is teams he and his agent are looking at and not the other way around. He believes a team will call him during training camp if they have an injury or their young quarterback struggles, but there are plenty of better options than a 35-year-old guy with conditioning issues and his best years well behind him………..

Chronic pain, free beer and has-been rockers

- British rockers Status Quo aren't especially relevant. The classic British rockers haven’t been a factor on the music scene for years and what does a band do when no one cares about them or pays attention to them? Put together a kooky new movie project, of course. That’s exactly what the members of Status Quo have set out to do, crafting their very own James Bond-style action film. The project, which is set to be titled Bula Quo!, will of course feature a soundtrack of 12 classic Status Quo songs. If there are in fact 12 classic Status Quo tracks to use, then this should be one heck of a ride. To add to the awesomeness of it all, the band are working on the project in the always arduous environment that is Fiji. Status Quo has already enlisted the talents of comic Jon Lovitz, who will star alongside Craig Fairbrass, who has previously starred in “Eastenders,” “Footballers' Wives” and “London's Burning.” Stuart St. Paul will direct and the project is tentatively scheduled for release next year. "The one thing Quo fans know is to expect the unexpected,” said lead singer Francis Rossi. "This is an amazing chance for us to do something new and we're all really excited," added guitarist Rick Parfitt. Yes, it is an amazing chance to join the ranks of marginal recording artists who have accumulated enough money to star in their own feature film, artists like the Spice Girls and S Club 7. Status Quo have not revealed whether they are playing themselves in the movie, but they do have the challenge of writing and recording a new album on their hands as well, so making such important decisions cannot be rushed. They plan to release a new single titled “The Winner” later this month to coincide with the Olympic Games…………

- Arizona Diamondbacks Aaron Hill will never win an MVP award, he won't be elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame once he retires and he may not even crack the 200-home run barrier in his career. But he does share an impressive distinction with just one other player in the modern era of baseball after hitting for his second cycle of the season Friday night against the Milwaukee Brewers. In so doing, he became just the second major league player since 1900 to accomplish the feat twice in the same year. After recording a single, double, triple and home run on June 18 against Seattle in an interleague game, he doubled for his 1,000th career hit in the first and then singled in the third. After crushing his 11th home run of the season, a two-run shot in the fourth, he finished the cycle with a triple in the sixth off Livan Hernandez. The only other player to match his feat was Babe Herman (not to be confused with George “Babe” Herman Ruth, a.k.a. Babe Ruth), who had two cycles in one season for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1931. Hill can thank Brewers starter Randy Wolf for serving up his first three hits of the night and the ageless journeyman that is Livan Hernandez for helping him etch his name in the record books. For a player with a career .269 batting average and 109 home runs in eight major league seasons, the chance to set a record does not come along very often and some day long after he’s gone, Hill can now be the answer to the daily trivia question on a local sports talk show in rural Kansas………

- Waaaaaaaaait a minute. Suddenly, there is stunning news that late North Korean despot/ megalomaniac/dictator/Oompa Looma reject Kim Jong-Il may not have been a good guy AND that he in fact did want to nuke the entire world to hell in one giant ball of fire. According to an internal document obtained from Pyongyang, where K.J. Il was succeeded by his youngest son Kim Jong Un, the elder Kim reportedly ordered his scientists to produce "a massive amount" of bombs containing both uranium and plutonium. If true, this document would directly contradict repeated lies, er, assurances that the North wanted to enrich uranium solely for the purpose of power generation. That was Pyongyang’s official position, but the leak of a document believed to have been compiled in February this year for senior officials of the for civilian industry suggests otherwise. "US and other hostile forces were complaining we are trying to produce uranium to make nuclear weapons," the document reportedly said. “US” is presumably a gramatically stunted way of referring to the United States of America (perhaps a cost-saving move because ink from printers isn't cheap) and not the word us. This gem of governing wit continued: "To tell the truth ... [the late leader said] we are not waiting for the uranium-enriching technology to develop so it can be put to use by civilian industries such as power generation. From a military point of view, it is a matter of course that we should use plutonium and highly-enriched uranium for atomic bombs.” But bombs to generate energy to run your Third World hell hole of a country, right? Not nuclear bombs to blow sh*t up and assert your dominance over the rest of the globe. Unfortunately, K.J. Il shuffled off to the great Communist haven in the sky in December before his dream could come true……….

- Getting drunk isn't cheap, at least not as cheap as it should be considering the depressing financial state in which America and most of its citizens find themselves these days. Miller knows this and is launching a different sort of summer tour to help at least one special group of Americans get sauced. In nine cities across the United States this summer, anyone who has the last name Miller (or who is willing to legally change their name to Miller – which might prove to be a wash financially with the legal fees) or who can score a cheap fake ID claiming their last name to be Miller can show up at a designated location and assuming they are of legal drinking age, receive a $25 gift card from Miller. The first event, predictably, is taking place from 1-5 p.m. June 29 poolside at The Palms in Las Vegas. From there, the tour will wind its way through Charlotte, Milwaukee, Cincinnati, Chicago, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Phoenix and Indianapolis. To receive their $25 booze card, individuals need only to show up at the designated location and show their legal state ID with their first, middle or last name of Miller. Sadly, gift cards are limited to one per person and must be collected within the designated hours for the event. Other than the Las Vegas stop, the other eight events last only three hours, meaning there will be a line filled with thirsty Millers waiting for their chance at free beer in some very hot, sweaty weather in cities across America. Hopefully Killian’s, Busch, Pabst and Coors will follow suit………

- Most people have at least one whiny friend who is always complaining about some type of ache or pain plaguing them. That whiny friend may actually have an excuse, other than being a whiny wuss who can’t stomach the pain and keep going, for their chronic complaining. A new study that is the first to follow a group of people with the same new back injury over time has revealed through brain scans of participants that those who go on to have chronic back pain appear to show a different pattern in the region of their brain that handles emotional responses. A team led by Vania Apakarian, professor of physiology at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, used fMRI scans to detect early brain changes and if they hold up, the findings could help predict which patients are at higher risk for chronic pain and help develop drugs to prevent it. Apakarian and his team are the first to prove that when there is direct communication between two particular brain regions, there is a higher chance of pain becoming chronic. When insula, which is active when people have emotional responses to events, and the nucleus accumbens, which plays a role in teaching the brain how to respond to changes in the environment, communicate frequently, the odds of chronic pain rise substantially. “For the first time we can explain why people who may have the exact same initial pain either go on to recover or develop chronic pain. The injury by itself is not enough to explain the ongoing pain. It has to do with the injury combined with the state of the brain. This finding is the culmination of 10 years of our research," Apakarian said. Previous studies compared the brains of people with chronic back pain to those of healthy people, but none of them focused on identifying the factors that drive the pain's chronic nature. Following participants over a prolonged period of time was necessary to determine which drivers were responsible for escalating the pain to the point it could be classified as chronic. Apkarian and his crew recruited 39 people with clinically diagnosed sub-acute or moderate back pain that was persistent and had begun 1 to 4 months earlier. All participants were assessed at the beginning of the study and three additional times over the following year. Functional magnetic-resonance imaging exams of their brains and surveys rating their level of pain were used to assess their level of discomfort and at the end of the 12 months, 20 of the participants had recovered, while the rest continued to experience pain. The key difference between those whose back pain abated and those who qualified as having chronic pain was the level of communication between the insula and the nucleus accumbens brain regions in their brains. The elevated level of communication was present throughout the study, suggesting it was a good predictor of chronic pain. Using their new method, researchers saw 85 percent accuracy in predicting which participants would still be in pain by the end of the 12 months. They theorized that increased emotional response to pain leads to it becoming chronic. In other words, weak people who stress and worry too much about minor aches and pains have chronic pain. Thanks, science……….

Paraguayan coups, shooting seagulls and movie news

- If you’re going to stage a coup and force your democratically elected president out of office, do it the right way, Paraguay. As a hint, the correct way to stage a coup does not involve a rushed impeachment that doesn’t give the world a chance to savor and enjoy your revolt. But that’s exactly what happened last week in the South American nation, as President Federico Lugo was removed from office in a matter of hours last week. The move has angered may inside and outside of the country and two regional groups on Friday unanimously condemned a lack of democracy in Paraguay. The groups also banned the country from regional forums until new presidential elections are held next year. However, no one has had the kahones to impose economic sanctions on Paraguay Special meetings of the trade bloc Mercosur and the political bloc Unasur, in Mendoza, Argentina, Friday, produced plenty of condemnation but no real teeth behind the anger. Many congressmen have compounded the problem by supporting it as part of a legal process enshrined in the Constitution to tackle a president “performing poorly." Unfortunately, very few seem to agree with the negative characterization of Lugo’s tenure. A diverse group of South American leaders, from Bolivia's Evo Morales to Chile's right-leaning Sebastián Piñera, condemned the impeachment. Even the always-unpredictable despotic douche bag that is Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez has vociferously condemned the events in Paraguay and now, Venezuela has been invited to joining Mercosur – the trade grouping that comprises Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay and until this week, Paraguay. Being jettisoned from Mercosur for a nation whose inclusion in the group it had blocked has to sting for Paraguay and maybe it will inspire Paraguay’s legislature to rethink its actions in expelling Lugo, a former priest and Paraguay’s first leftist leader who came to power in 2008. He was forced out last Friday within 24 hours after an impeachment trial was brought against him after the opposition-led Chamber of Deputies and Senate overwhelmingly approved the nine charges for his “poor performance of duties” as president. A standoff between police and landless peasants in Curuguaty, eastern Paraguay, two weeks ago that left 17 people dead was the breaking point for the legislature and in response, they have plunged their nation into a state of chaos…………

- Mark Wahlberg and a talking, CGI teddy bear are a bigger draw than they might seem. Wahlberg, with an assist from the über-hot Mila Kunis, won the box office earnings race with a $54.1 million debut for “Ted.” The comedy that seemed like an absurd idea (and was) bested the trashy sex appeal of male stripper flick “Magic Mike,” which debuted in second place on the strength of Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Bomer and Channing Tatum taking their shorts off repeatedly in the span of a couple hours of screen time. “Magic” made $39.1 million in its debut, besting last week’s top movie, “Brave,” which fell to third place with $34 million and has earned $131.6 million domestically in two weeks of work. The latest identical version of the same damn movie Tyler Perry has been making for a decade, “Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection,” debuted in fourth place with $26.4 million and gave the weekend’s newcomers three of the top four spots. “Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted” snagged fifth place with $11.8 million and through one month of release, its cumulative domestic total sits at $180 million. The still awful, still absurd concept that is “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” fell to sixth in its second weekend with a mere $6 million for a two-week total of $29 million. “Prometheus” claimed the seventh spot with $4.9 million and its four-week haul now stands at $119 million. The critically acclaimed “Moonlight Kingdom,” with Bruce Willis and Bill Murray leading the way, was eighth despite being in limited release. The upstart flick added $4.8 million to its coffers and has raked in $18.4 million so far despite never being in more than 900 theaters in a given weekend. “Snow White and the Huntsman” claimed ninth place and made $4.4 million to up its overall total to $146 million and counting, while “People Like Us” had an extremely disappointing debut, ranking tenth with just $4.2 million. “The Avengers” (No. 11), “MIB 3” (No. 12), “Rock of Ages” (No. 13) and the mind-numbingly bad “That's My Boy Sony” (No. 14) all landed outside the top 10 for the first time in their respective runs…….

- Boom. Literally, boom. That, or something like it, was the sound a massive asteroid likely made (allegedly) 3 million years ago when it smashed into Greenland, creating a crater 15 miles deep and nearly 370 miles wide. The asteroid, estimated to be nearly 19 miles in diameter, crashed in an area that now hosts the town of Maniitsoq on Greenland's western coastline. The massive crater dwarfs the oldest known impact crater on Earth, the Vredefort crater in South Africa, both in age and size. It was discovered by a team led by Adam Garde of the Geological Survey of Denmark and Greenland in Copenhagen, Denmark. The rocks we see today were about 25 kilometers down when the impact occurred," Garde said. The reason the crater was able to remain hidden until now is because surface changes have hidden much of the evidence of its existence and only its deepest parts remain. All the near-surface and easily recognizable features of the crater have been worn away. It took three years of intensive work by Garde and his team to unearth the mysteries of the crater and they now believe they have the necessary evidence to support their claim. They have discovered a layer of granite-like rocks that are crushed, melted and pulverized in a way that can only be explained by a sudden, massive impact. A layer of this deformed granite is spread throughout an area more than 20 miles wide and Garde believes it to be at the center of the supposed impact site. Without any known terrestrial geologic process capable of producing this sort of deformation, a ginormous asteroid is the only answer and so just like that, the issue is settled….maybe. "You might see something similar in a geologic fault zone, but not in a circle 100 kilometers across," said team member Iain McDonald of Cardiff University. Mix in the angles of cracks in the rock layers and the case seems iron-clad….to most. A few skeptics in the geological community maintain that the find indicates a massive crater, but does not definitively prove one’s existence. Even if the alleged asteroid struck Greenland, the Earth's only inhabitants were algae and cyanobacteria, so its effects wouldn’t have been cataclysmic – unless you were an algae, of course…………

- Will a defeat in his signature race at his country’s Olympic trials humble the Fastest Man in the World? Probably not, but it was still amusing to see reigning world speed champion Usain Bolt blown away out of the starting blocks and defeated in the 100-meter final in the Jamaican Olympic trials. His training partner, Yohan Blake, blasted out of the blocks on Friday night and finished in a time of 9.75 seconds to upset the world-record holder by 0.11 seconds. Blake was understandably jubilant after his win and inspired to make a run at Olympic gold in a few weeks. "Nine-point-seven-five, it's awesome," Blake said. "I won the world championship, so I've got that. Now, I'm the national champion for Jamaica, so I've got that. And now, I go into the Olympics like this." Defeating Bolt head-to-head was important even though Blake is the reigning world champion because Bolt didn't run in the 100-meter final at the world championships after being disqualified for a false start. Still, the 6-foot-5 Bolt came into the trials as the overwhelming favorite, partly because of his world record -- 9.58 seconds – and partly because Blake had never run below 9.82 in his life. The 9.75 seconds is the fastest time in the world this year and also broke the four-year-old National Stadium record, previously held by Bolt. With his own fierce nickname - "The Beast" – and his championships in tow, Blake let out a primal scream when he crossed the finish line as Bolt nonchalantly pulled up and exited the track without fanfare. There was no sign of his demonstrative "To the World" pose after the race, not on a night when he lumbered out of the blocks this time and had to make up a lot of ground just to finish second. Somewhere and some time between now and the first week of August in London, Bolt needs to find a way to get his swagger back………..

- For too long, seagulls have strutted around arrogantly in parking lots and on beaches around the world, unaccosted and free to crap on anything they wanted. That changed Thursday morning in Southgate, Mich., where the beautiful sounds of gunfire filled the air at a vacant Saturn automobile dealership. A group of Southgate police officers showed up armed and ready to exterminate the thousands of seagulls that have invaded the building. So many seagulls have taken up residence at the abandoned dealership that local law enforcement officials turned to the state government for help. "We were granted a permit from the state to use deadly force if needed to try and alleviate this problem," said Thomas Coombs, Southgate Police Public Safety Director. "We cannot take out more than 500 seagulls and we are only sacrificing some birds in hopes the rest will leave." Okay, so technically there was a limit on how many gulls the officers could blast, but it’s doubtful anyone was keeping a running count or tallying the number of dead birds afterward. The city even gave the seagulls one final warning Tuesday night, sending Department of Public Work trucks to area with plows attached in the hope of driving the birds away. Instead, the gulls scattered for a moment, then returned to their perches. "The city has only turned to taking out some of the birds as a last resort. We believe along with the state this is the most humane way to do this," Coombs said. Aside from the seagull-crap-loving kooks of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, it’s doubtful too many people would disagree. As Coombs explained, all other options had been exhausted. Loud noises and disruptions didn’t work and poisoning wasn’t an option because officials didn’t want sick seagulls to be dropping from the sky all around the city in an apocalyptic sequel to the mysterious incidents of falling birds in Arkansas the past couple of years. Solving the seagull problem might be easier if not for some local tools who have apparently been feeding the birds and thereby enticing them to stay right where they are. A new business is expected to take over the building in the next few months and it will be much easier to open up shop if the entire building isn’t caked in seagull waste………..