- The
New York Public Library does give a sh*t. Libraries generally get walked all
over because they are toothless entities with no power to enforce much of
anything by way of rules and penalties, so much so that decades-old library
fines were the subject of a memorable “Seinfeld” episode back in the day. Yet
an inability to track you down and make you fork over that $11.75 you owe from
the copy of “Gulliver’s Travels” you borrowed for a book report and never
returned in 1997 doesn’t mean the NYPL is going to lay down and let people take
advantage of it - even if its ability to assert itself comes in a rather, um,
unusual and unsanitary realm. The Morrisania branch
in the Bronx is going to war with, of all groups, toilet paper thieves. As odd
as it seems, the branch has suffered a rash of toilet paper thefts and the
practice has become so frequent that library staffers put up a sign warning
readers that “stealing is punishable by the law.” Threatening signs in public
places always intimidate people into doing whatever the sign commands them to
do, so this one should be solved, right? "If you are caught stealing the bathroom
tissue from dispenser, you will be barred permanently from all New York Public
Libraries," the sign reads. How? Is the library going to post wanted
posters or have facial recognition software running in tandem with its security
cameras so police can bar banned patrons? Will there be 325-pound bouncers in
tight black t-shirts to keep out the riff-raff? According to the sign,
restrooms will be inspected "immediately after each person leaves" to
see if any tissue is missing or if the dispenser has been damaged. That’s a
plum job, being the person sent into an unsanitary public restroom to count the
number of single-ply sheets still on the roll after someone has done their
business. According to a library spokesperson, the sign is not an official
library directive and the policy is shaky at best……….
- Here’s
the latest reminder that rich, famous people - and especially professional
athletes - are just like the rest of us. They may have better toys, bigger bank
accounts and attend parties the rest of us could never get into, but in the
everyday, nuts-and-bolts portions of life, there is no difference, as proven by
American skier and former Tiger Woods arm candy Lindsey Vonn. Vonn, who seems
to always be injured and couldn't defend her Olympic downhill crown last year
later in Sochi because of a serious knee injury, went under the knife again
recently and her plight is one with which many can relate. Vonn had to get stitches
in her right thumb and could have sustained even more damage if she weren't so
lucky when she was bitten while trying to break up a fight between her dogs
over a Frisbee. Vonn detailed the incident on her Twitter account and also
posted a video of her injured thumb on Instagram, showing a gnarly, red them
all stitched up. "This is what I get," Vonn said on her Instagram
account. She gave credit to U.S. ski team physician Dr. Randy Viola for fixing
her mangled digit and she can add the injury to the list of maladies from which
she’s recovering, on top of a broken left ankle from a crash during training
three months ago. In spite of the two injuries, she plans to be ready for a
World Cup giant slalom in Aspen, Colorado, at the end of the month. Maybe it’s
time to take out some insurance on that thumb though, because she also sliced
it on a champagne bottle back in 2009. Wear a protective glove on that digit,
L., or tell your dogs Leo and Bear that your thumb is not part of that orange,
plastic disk they’re fighting over. Then again, how much are those two beasts
with bloated egos going to listen when you’ve created their very own Instagram
account for them………
- Riot
Watch! Riot Watch! Romania has been full of rage for some time now, but that
rage has boiled over in the wake of a nightclub
fire in Bucharest that killed at least 44 people and exposed some major
problems within the government based on its response to the disaster. The Oct.
30 nightclub fire, which many Romanians blame on a weak enforcement of
regulations and corruption, has become a tipping point in the fight against a
troubled government and it sparked a wave of protests late last week that
helped push the current regime to resign. Prime Minister Victor Ponta resigned
on Wednesday, but even that wasn’t enough to placate the angry masses, who kept
on raging against the machine on account of their deep, lingering social dissatisfaction with an often-corrupt
political order that has been in power since the transition from communist
dictatorship to democracy a quarter century ago. The main hindrance for the
resistance is its current lack of a specific leader, but the motivation from
the fire and its fallout is fueling a potent push right now. Seeing the same
people in power for 25 years as the country gets worse and worse has been a
slow march toward a combustible ending with public support rising for anti-corruption
prosecutors led by Laura Codruta Kovesi. The prosecutors have intensified their
anti-corruption drive in the past couple of years, notching a record 1,051
convictions in 2014, up from 743 the year before. That number is expected to
rise this year and after a former prime minister, seven former ministers, a former
deputy prime minister, four lawmakers, one European Parliament lawmaker, 39
mayors, 25 magistrates and two business tycoons were convicted in 2014, it’s
exciting to wonder who might be next. What’s nice is that all the major parties
in Romania's Parliament have been touched by the corruption probes and
convictions, so none can portray themselves as a beacon of clean governance in
the midst of the filth. The ruling Social Democratic Party and its junior
partner, the National Union for the Progress of Romania, as well as the
opposition Liberal Party, are all dirty and they’re why thousands of people
jammed University Square in Bucharest to give up part of their weekend and lash
out at their dishonest leaders……….
- At
least Johnny Depp won't be putting up five pounds of ridiculous makeup for
this one. Depp has gone almost exclusively to roles that require him to
drastically alter his appearance - often in comical, makeup-powered ways - in
recent years, but no appearance alterations are needed when one agrees to voice
the titular character of “Sherlock
Gnomes,” a 2018 MGM and Paramount Animation film. Depp will step in as part of the
garden gnome-themed franchise, which started with 2011's “Gnomeo And Juliet.”
He will join the likes of James McAvoy and Emily Blunt in a project based
humorously on Shakespeare's “Romeo And Juliet.” Given that the first film in
the animated franchise banked almost $200 million on a global scale against a
$36 million budget, the making of one or more sequels was a guarantee. The new
movie will see Blunt and McAvoy's characters – Juliet and Gnomeo – seeking
the help of Depp’s detective character to investigate a string of garden gnome
disappearances in London. “Kung Fu Panda” director John Stevenson will helm the
project, which is scheduled to hit theaters on Jan. 12, 2018. Here’s hoping
Depp creates less drama on this one that he did for (allegedly) storming off the
set of the latest “Pirates Of The Caribbean” film in Australia. Word on the street was that Depp fled the
scene of “Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men No Tales” in Queensland, Australia,
but the official story was that he injured his hand in an off-set injury in
March and left Australia to fly home to the United States for treatment. After
he had a pin inserted into the hand, shooting was delayed by a month, but went
on after that. Voicing a garden gnome detective should be a bit less demanding…….
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