Friday, November 06, 2015

$11,000 Kenyan iMacs, Denver needs bong water and more sports governing body corruption


- Rhys Ifans gets it….kinda. Ifans, who played the main villain in the 2012’s “The Amazing Spider-Man,” Dr. Curt Connors a.k.a. The Lizard, is on the other side of the umpteenth unnecessary remake of a franchise that Hollywood seems intent on recycling at a rate that would exhaust most aluminum cans and now that he’s emerged from the mire and had time to ponder, he’s seeing the world more clearly. He’s still partially missing the point, but give him credit for trying. Ifans, speaking about the new Spider-Man movie set for release on May 5, 2017 as the first to be made by Sony in collaboration with Marvel, said the entire franchise "needs a kick up its arse." The Welsh actor reflected on his own part in the ‘chise, which  ultimately failed to live up to his expectations. "Anthropologically, it was fascinating. If I was an anthropologist, it would have been very valuable... As an actor, it was a lesson," Ifans said. "As I got into it, I remember looking into The Lizard and there was one of the comics where Dr. Curt Connors goes home, and he's messing about with his Lizard-ness. He takes his work home with him, and he eats his kids. "I remember thinking at the time, 'That's the film I want to be in.'” That side of his character was never explored or developed in the film and he seems a little bitter about it. "Whatever you're told and promised at the beginning of something, when it comes to franchises like that, it's never ever going to be what ends up on screen," Ifans concluded. Asked about the latest remake of a remake of a remake with English actor Tom Holland in the title role, Ifans first said he had no opinion, then said it “needs a kick up the arse." Or a kick to the curb, but one or the other……..


- Welcome to the big time, Kenya. Major world powers don’t run without running inefficiently due to rampant corruption in the ranks and if you’re ever going to ascend from Third World also-ran to legit player on the global scene (hint: you won't) then you need to learn how to play the game the right way. If you ask the chairman of a parliamentary committee in Kenya charged with oversight on government spending, the country may be well ahead in the quest to pork its way to the top. Yes, when hand-pushed wheelbarrows have been purchased at $1,000 each and your government is buying up ball-point pens that usually cost 10 cents for $85 apiece, it’s safe to say that there are some inequities in the system. Oh, and it’s not clear which version of the iMac Kenya bought from Apple and what sort of hardware upgrades they purchased for it, but someone may want to check into that purchase of a desktop computer for a cool $11,000. Committee chairman Nicholas Gumbo - he would be a rock star in New Orleans - cited these and other good bits of news as examples of misspending that the Parliamentary Accounts Committee is investigating. According to Chef, er, Chairman Gumbo, the committee is investigating a government department that had listed sex toys as assets, meaning that they had been purchased using taxpayers' money.  Duh. Obviously no one wants to pay for their own sex toys, not when they have to spend $11,000 for a computer bro. It’s no secret that corruption is endemic in Kenya, but this recent wave of revelations about graft on a near-daily basis has somewhat pissed off the public as the government says it's borrowing money to plug holes in the budget. Odds are those holes were created by a worker swinging a $7,500 sledgehammer while wearing $2,000 work gloves………


- Prepare to be stunned, world. The former leader of a governing body for international sports has been accused of being thoroughly corrupt and rotten to the core. No, it’s not an ex-president of the International Olympic Committee or someone associated with Sepp Blatter’s dirty tenure running FIFA. This time, it’s former IAAF President Lamine Diack who has been placed under investigation by French authorities for corruption and money-laundering charges. Diack, who stepped down in August after 16 years in charge of track and field's governing body - trying to beat the authorities out the back door before they can serve the warrant on you, L? - and is suspected of taking money from Russia to hide positive doping tests. Yes, this story involves both dirty athletes from a communist country and corrupt bureaucrats accused of taking payola to keep those athletes eligible to compete. Track and field is already one of the dirtiest sports around, right alongside swimming and cycling, so this is arguably the least surprising sports news you could come up with if you sat down and tried to type out the most predictable sports story ever. The French office that handles financial prosecutions says a legal adviser to Diack, Habib Cisse, is also under investigation by judges acting on evidence provided by the World Anti-Doping Agency. Mix in Gabriel Dolle, who was the director of the IAAF's anti-doping department and has been taken into custody in the south of France, and you have yourselves a legit and wide-reaching scandal that will result in exactly zero change happening in the sport because, well, corruption is undefeated and dollars are the mightiest weapon of all in the fight to keep sports filthy…….

- Denver seems an unlikely candidate to become an honorary Californian city by having exactly .005 percent of the usable water it needs to sustain its daily existence. After all, the unofficial capital of Stoner-Topia is in the mountains, surrounded by snow and a mile closer to the clouds than most towns, so it should have no problems staying hydrated….right? Umm, then why, on a recent weekday, was a massive drilling rig boring  hole deep beneath the city and why was Leonard Rice Engineers contracted to bore that hole by the Denver Water Department? Because Denver Water is exploring the feasibility of pumping water far under the city into the massive Denver Basin aquifer system to keep it there until the next dry spell. According to Denver Water resource engineer Bob Peters, drought is an imminent threat even for Denver because the city only receives 15 inches of rainfall a year and most of its water comes from the mountain snowpack. That mountain snowpack melts and runs downstream, supplying water for much of the nation, including the always-arid Southwest. Should the snowpack fail, the effects reach far beyond the region and even a  secondary source of water from underground aquifers which nature filled over the course of millions of years don’t help much because humans are draining them at an alarming rate. The aquifer system under the city of Denver covers an area the size of the Connecticut, but the Denver Basin ground water is non-renewable and just like a nice, hot plate of pot brownies, once you plow through that water, it’s gone. Thus, the city is  taking its renewable water supplies and injecting them into the aquifer to keep the aquifer replenished. Denver is merely following the example of cities such as Phoenix, Wichita and San Antonio, which are  already banking water underground. If this wacky plan works, Denver will begin taking snowpack runoff and pumping into the underground basin within the next year or two. If it fails, well, there may not be enough water to fill everyone’s bongs soon………

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