Friday, December 27, 2013

Cross-dressers v. airport security, Katy Pary + Rihanna and fake Finnish knee surgeries


- How much of an impact does one common knee surgery have? According to a team of Finnish researchers, little more than the effect of having no surgery at all. The researchers examined improvements in knee pain following a common orthopedic procedure and found that those positive repercussions seemed to largely due to the placebo effect. Dr. Teppo Jarvinen, who led the research team, looked at arthroscopic surgery to repair a torn meniscus. The meniscus is a C-shaped pad of cartilage that cushions the knee joint and tears are common among athletes. Some 700,000 people in the United States have surgery for a torn meniscus each year, a procedure in which orthopedic surgeons use a camera and tiny instruments inserted through small incisions around the knee to shave damaged tissue away. Cleaning out the affected area is supposed to relieve pain, but Jarvinen and his crew ruled that it does not. For the study, the researchers recruited patients between the ages of 35 and 65 who'd had a meniscal tear and knee pain for at least three months. Participants underwent an arthroscopic procedure to examine the knee joint. If the patient did not have arthritis and they were deemed eligible for the study, the surgeon opened an envelope in the operating room with further instructions. Seventy patients had their damaged meniscus removed, while 76 other patients had nothing further done. However, the surgeons carried out the rest of their faux procedure the same way they would a real operation. They mimicked the surgery, handling the same instruments and simulating the sights and sounds of a meniscal repair. Patients weren't told if they'd had their knee repaired or not and afterward, those who'd had the sham procedure reported improvements in pain and function that were nearly identical to those who'd had actual meniscal repairs. Both groups showed average improvement between 20-30 points on 100-point pain scales. "It's pretty obvious to anyone who really has an interest in this that what we've called a meniscal tear isn't really a tear," Jarvinen said. "It has nothing to do with the tears we talk about in a 20-year-old athlete who twists or sprains their knee." Behold the power of the Finnish Jedi surgery mind trick………


- There appears to be a fatal flaw in the multimillion-dollar detection system designed to protect New York-area airports. The weakness no one saw coming was exploited on Christmas Day when a cross-dressing weird breached a perimeter fence and wandered onto a runway at Newark airport. Yes, this state-of-the-art system has a blind spot for cross dressers and the police department of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey clearly had no clue. It was the second known failure of the system and while authorities have yet to confirm if the first breach involved dudes who like ladies’ attire, it is definitely time to explore this theory further. What the agency did say about the incident was that there was no evidence the man jumped the fence. The union representing port authority police officers gave a conflicting story, saying the trespasser scaled a fence and ran across two runways to Terminal C. The freak in question may have been drunk, mentally troubled or simply overly enthusiastic about the chance to get away from his family and fly home to his normal life. His name is Siyah Bryan and the Jersey City resident was charged with trespassing and released. Newark Liberty International Airport as well as other New York-area airports are equipped with a Perimeter Intrusion Detection System, or PIDS, manufactured by the Massachusetts-based Raytheon Co. Raytheon Co. is probably not digging their newfound fame at this point, but when you charge $100 million for a system purported to “detect, assess and track intruders attempting to gain access into exterior secure areas” using ground surveillance radars, video cameras with motion detection and "smart" fencing, you’re going to be held to a higher standard. In spite of these supposed capabilities and the overwhelming evidence that the system failed, everyone involved is adamant that everything went just as planned. "The preliminary investigation indicates the airport's PIDS security system worked properly during the incident, and at this point, there is no visual evidence that an individual scaled a security fence," Port Authority Police Department Chief Louie Koumoutsos said in a statement. Something isn't adding up here, Lou, and it’s your math that’s suspect……..


- Despite several high-profile players having their seasons ended riding off the field on the back of a cart with a shredded knee,             the NFL says ACL injuries in the league are down this season. That is the message NFL officials passed along to their Health and Safety Advisory Committee earlier this week. In a memo sent to the committee, the league shared research showing 30 ACL injuries in games through the preseason and first 13 weeks of the schedule, down from 39 such injuries in 2012 and 35 in 2011. In fact, this year’s total is the lowest in the past five seasons. Knee injuries in general did not follow the same trend, as there was an increase in medial collateral ligament injuries (MCL), from 74 in 2012 to 89 in games this season through 13 weeks. Injury reporting service Quintiles/Outcome provided the numbers to the league, which in turn submitted them to the committee chaired by 49ers owner John York. The report conveniently came days after Patriots coach Bill Belichick claimed injuries were up and said it was "a matter of record not opinion" that injuries league-wide have been on the rise over the past three years. Belichick added that he believed the supposed uptick in injuries was due to stricter regulations on when, how often and to what level of intensity teams can practice before and during the season. He cited a decrease in the number of offseason, preseason and in-season practice sessions and workouts allowed under the league’s collective bargaining agreement as the cause. League spokesman Michael Signora rejected those claims and said there was no evidence to support them. "We carefully monitor player injuries," Signora said. "There is no evidence that the new work rules have had an adverse effect on the injury rate or that injuries have in fact increased." For the ACL injuries that occurred through the first 13 weeks, 68 percent involved contact with another player. Three of the ACL injuries happened to high-profile, skill position players: one tight end, one wide receiver and one quarterback. Conveniently enough, the tight end in question just happens to be Belichick’s All-Pro tight end Rob Gronkowski………


- Score one for the ladies. Women deserve every opportunity they can earn and no place on Earth knows this more at the moment than the small city in Bolivia's highlands known as El Alto. This bustling, impoverished sister city of La Paz is tucked away inside Bolivia's Andes mountains and it is here that city officials have hired indigenous Aymara women dressed in traditional multilayered Andean skirts and brightly embroidered vests to work as traffic cops and bring order to the city’s road chaos. These so-called "traffic cholitas" have been trained to direct cars and buses in El Alto and these 20 lovely ladies have already begun to make their mark. They don the bright petticoats and shawls of Andean indigenous women and in Bolivian slang, they are referred to as cholitas. Traditional cholitas wear bowler hats, but the traffic-directing version rocks a green police-style cap. A few even represent with fluorescent traffic vests. The experiment has definitely made an impact on El Alto, but it hasn’t been entirely positive. According to 24-year-old Sofia Colque, blowing her police whistle and waving her hands doesn’t always have the desired effect. "Some drivers don't obey us and try to flirt with us, but they are making a mistake. It is not easy but we make them respect us," Colque said. Some motorists and transportation workers have expressed doubt that the cholitas will have a significant effect on traffic flow in the clogged streets of the city as people hop on and off buses randomly and vehicles stop in the middle of traffic for no apparent reason. If nothing else, the cholitas can continue assisting the elderly across the roads and educate pedestrians on the rules of the road. Their hiring continues a recent run of success for the cholitas, who have snagged spots hosting television shows, working in offices and holding elected office in recent years……….


- Noooooooooooooo! Two of the most fabricated, artificial, contrived and hacky pop singers around do more than enough damage on their own. There is absolutely NO need for the authors of awfulness that are Katy Perry and Rihanna to combine their efforts and churn out the musical equivalent of the worst superhero team-up movie ever. Hopefully this will never happen, but it certainly seems a distinct possibility now that Perry has revealed she and Rihanna have discussed collaborating on a song together "for years." Perry spoke about this burning desire to unite and make some truly terrible music while guest hosting the American Top 40 show on Los Angeles radio station 102.7 KIIS FM and clearly, this threat is more real than anyone would ever want to imagine. "We've actually been talking about it for years so we can't let anyone down," said Perry. "We have to do the best song ever. Beyond that, I think we'll definitely get around to it and when it happens, you are going to know." Sadly, the last part of that statement is almost certainly true and at the same time, drenched in incredible hypocrisy. See, Perry has been on a mini-crusade of late against fellow pop hacks who do exactly what she does virtually every time she shows up on stage or in a music video: get naked. "Like, females in pop – everybody's getting naked, I mean, I've been naked before but I don't feel like I have to always get naked to be noticed,” Perry said of the trend. "I'm not talking about anyone in particular, I’m talking about all of them. I mean, it's like everybody's so naked.” Umm….I make a ton of money off of my huge rack and sex appeal, along with wearing incredibly revealing outfits everywhere I go, but girls who take their clothes off are sluts! Well said, K.P. Just know that the woman with whom you are so intent to team up is one of the biggest offenders in this area and the two of you aren't likely to be wearing burqas in the music video for the wretched song you two eventually produce……..

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