- Let’s not overreact, Israel. Just because you (allegedly) discovered mortar shells, ammunition and surface-to-sea missiles (allegedly) seized from a ship originating in Iran and bound for Gaza doesn’t mean that Iran was looking to smuggle weapons into Lebanon to Hezbollah, to Gaza to Hamas and to other terror organizations, right? "Every day, new attempts are made by Iran and by Syria to smuggle weapons into Lebanon to Hezbollah, to Gaza to Hamas and to other terror organizations," Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said of the incident. All right, then. Clearly Israel is of the opinion that Iran is looking to stock its enemies with everything they need to blow the Jewish population off the map. According to Netanyahu, the weapons "went through Syria, and they were en route to terror organizations in Gaza, but their ultimate target was the Israeli civilian population." Just ask yourself, Israel, one thing: If Iran provides enough weapons for your enemies to obliterate you, then on whom will the Iranians use the nuclear bomb that they insist they aren’t building with their burgeoning nuclear program? Didn’t consider that, did you? Before you put the weapons you seized from a cargo ship on display in Ashdod as you did Wednesday, and trot out Netanyahu, Defense Minister Ehud Barak and army Chief of Staff Lt. Gen. Benny Gans, along with other officials, why don’t you ask yourself some simple questions like the one I just posed? For the record, Israeli commandos intercepted the ship in question 200 miles off the coast Tuesday, boarded the German-owned and Liberian-flagged "Victoria," and looked through the 1,000 containers aboard before finding the three carrying the weapons. According to Israeli officials, the containers were loaded in the Syrian port of Latakia and the crew attempted to hide them by using a false manifest indicating that they were carrying lentils. The ship’s lone stop before being boarded by Israeli forces was in Turkey before heading on to their final destination in Cairo. The prevailing theory is that these weapons were intended to be smuggled into Gaza through the numerous tunnels between the Egyptian Sinai desert and the coastal strip, which is governed by Hamas. Honestly, it seems like typical governmental overreaction. Yes, the weapons included six C-704 surface-to-sea missiles with two launchers, along with a British-manufactured radar command and control system. Does that mean what Israel believes it to mean? I remain skeptical………..
- Scratch stand-up comedy or any other type of comedy from the list of skills in Jersey Shore toolbox The Situation’s……well, toolbox. Because no one can get enough of the knobs from the Shore and their 15 minutes of fame are set to expire any minute now and they’re scrambling to stay in the spotlight for as long as possible, The Situation showed up as one of the joke crackers at the "Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump." Needless to say, the Sitch’s act did not go over well. His jokes were consistently met with boos or silence and after taking a run at fellow roaster Whitney Cummings and suggesting that Trump’s current wife married him only due to love…..a love of money, that is, viewers might wonder if the performance was really as bad in person as it seemed on television. The answer is no because the live version was far, far worse. Viewers were spared several even worse jokes that were cut from the telecast, including a racial blast directed at fellow roaster Snoop Dogg, whose performance received a very positive response. "Yo Snoop, what up dawg ... you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump?
Trump's ancestors were into real estate ... and your ancestors were considered property," The Situation cracked. Oh, I get it. A nice slavery shot, always hilarious. But how about making fun of someone with a disability who has nothing to do with the even whatsoever, can you pull that off?
"I'm not from New Jersey ... I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough ... not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin bl*ws onstage in Tijuana…….Relax, she didn't even hear it ... I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee...have you ever done anything else actually?" he continued. Wow…..even for an idiot with an IQ of 15 on one of the most abominable excuses for a television show ever, that’s low-class. At that point, the boos and murmuring in the crowd grew loud enough that they couldn’t be ignored……except by the man causing them. He then took a run at Larry King, Seth MacFarlane and Snoop for a second time. "Larry King is rockin' the Armani diaper ... Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria's Secret ... panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom ... nah, I'm just kidding, he don't wear condoms, you know that! I like Larry King ... he's a playa ... he actually wrote a book named 'Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack' ... he got that title from a hooker he was f**king."
And still……crickets. Before ending the debacle, The Situation took one final run at disabled people everywhere by mocking Matlin again. "Trump is a good looking dude ... if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin's ears."
Perhaps it’s time to realize that Jersey Shore cast members’ skills definitely do NOT extend beyond the gym, tanning bed or Laundromat…………
- Is it good news or bad news that children born today can expect to live longer than ever in U.S. history? Sure, preliminary government data released Wednesday says that life expectancy at birth increased to 78.2 years in 2009, up from 78 years in 2008. But is this really a world that you want to bring longer-living human beings into? Earthquakes, tsunamis, economic crises, uprisings around the world……it just makes you wonder. "What this means is that somebody born in 2009 can expect to live to an average of 78.2 years. This is a new record high for life expectancy," says Kenneth Kochanek, a statistician with the National Center for Health Statistics, which is part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "Basically, this is nothing but good news," Thanks for stating the obvious, Kenny…..except for the part about this being “nothing but good news.” Don’t just look at significant decreases in the death rates for 10 of the 15 leading causes of deathbetween 2008 and 2009, including for heart disease, cancer and stroke, and say, “Hey, great news!” Look beyond the surface and ask whether people sticking around longer on this planet is a good thing. While Kochanek and any likeminded morons mull that over, here are a few other gems from the report, which is data from death certificates from all 50 states and Washington, D.C. Life expectancy for white males is 75.7 years; for white females, 80.6. For black American males, life expectancy is significantly lower at 70.9 years and for black American females, it is 77.4 years. Infant mortality is one area where Americans seem to have gained a better handle on the problem, as infant mortality in the U.S. hit a record low in 2009 at 6.42 infant deaths for every 1,000 live births, a 2.6 percent decline from 6.59 deaths per 1,000 births in 2008. On the other end of the scale, there were 2,436,682 deaths in the U.S. in 2009, down from 2,473,018 in 2008. Now, take a look at the world around you and ask yourself again (you included, Kenneth Kochanek) if all of this is “nothing but good news”…………
- Various NFL players are occupying their time during the league’s lockout in different ways. Baltimore Ravens safety Tom Zbikowski had his second professional boxing match on Saturday and has another bout set for March 26. Minnesota Vikings defensive end Ray Edwards has thrown out the idea of trying his hand at mixed martial arts. Prominent players like Tom Brady and Peyton Manning have invested their time in an anti-trust lawsuit against the league. Then there is Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, who pledged at the end of last season to change his last name back to Johnson. Johnson/Ochocinco has his hands full in both a positive and negative way. On one hand, he is about to engage in his single most-favorite activity: a blatant publicity grab. In his latest grasp for the spotlight, Johnson/Ochocinco will have a four-day tryout with Sporting Kansas City of Major League Soccer starting Tuesday. Johnson/Ochocinco is a known soccer fan who visited Ronaldo, Kaka and the rest of Real Madrid's squad and was introduced to manager Jose Mourinho and is friends with some of the sport’s biggest names. He has said often that he uses a soccer ball to warm up for NFL practices and games. Loving soccer and being good enough at it to make the roster of even a second-tier American professional soccer league are two different things. At this point, Sporting Kansas City is playing along and claiming that after the tryout, it would determine whether to extend the trial period. "We're always searching for players who can help our team and bringing in new talent," Sporting Kansas City manager Peter Vermes said. "We know that Chad is an exceptional athlete and that he loves the sport of soccer, and he did play a lot when he was younger. We're excited to see how his skills will translate once he arrives next week and begins training with our team." There are others who are not so enamored with Johnson/Ochocinco right now and those people include Hamilton County Municipal Judge Bernie Bouchard, who ordered Johnson/Ochocinco to pay Exclusive Wear $11,717 for clothing a Cincinnati store says he never paid for. The store claimed that on shopping trips in late 2008 and early 2009, the player took items including a $575 Al Wissam Bomber coat, $400 Mauri alligator shoes and $350 Laguna beach jeans but never paid for them. Attorney Joseph Honerlaw argued Wednesday the store reminded Ochocinco repeatedly that he needed to pay his bill before finally filing legal action in December. Perhaps because Johnson/Ochocinco was too busy chasing his soccer dream, he failed to appear in court Tuesday and Bouchard ordered the default judgment. At least he’s not sitting idly in his home twiddling his thumbs………
- Now that NASA won't be flying any more missions into outer space, I suppose that its astronauts and employees will have to find a new way to get high. Some employees at the Kennedy Space Center in Capr Canaveral, Fla. have already found their high and because of that, NASA's Inspector General's Office says an investigation is under way. See, someone left a bit of their stash of the Colombian nose candy in a NASA facility on the space center’s property where it was found March 7. "Law enforcement personnel field tested the substance, which indicated a positive test for cocaine," said Renee Juhans, an executive officer with the space center. "The substance is now at an accredited crime lab for further testing." Juhans explained that 4.2 grams of a white powdery substance were found at the facility and what with NASA having a zero-tolerance drug policy, that raised few concerns. As part of agency policy, all employees may be randomly tested although it is not known whether any employees have been asked to submit to drug testing in this investigation. "We have no further comment," Juhans said. It is not the first time in recent memory that the Bolivian marching powder has been found at the Kennedy Space Center. Nearly 200 workers were tested in January 2010 after a small bag of cocaine was found inside a space shuttle processing facility where Discovery was being readied for flight. Seems that some employees may have found their own special way to cope with the fact that sooner or later, the agency’s rapidly decreasing budget could lead to jobs being lost as missions stop and funds are directed elsewhere…………
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