- The Baltimore Orioles may be the odds-on favorites to finish in last place in the American League East for the fourth straight season, but at least they are starting the season with high hopes and a manager willing to create drama and generate headlines. Buck Showalter may not have the talent or depth on his roster to compete with the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, nor to run down the Toronto Blue Jays or Tampa Bay Rays in the standings, but at least Showalter is willing to take verbal shots at those four teams before they commence beating his squad’s brains in once the regular season begins. In an interview in the April edition of Men's Journal, Showalter took runs at both Yankees captain Derek Jeter and Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein. "The first time we went to Yankee Stadium, I screamed at Derek Jeter from the dugout," Showalter said. "Our guys are thinking, 'Wow, he's screaming at Derek Jeter.' Well, he's always jumping back from balls just off the plate. I know how many calls that team gets -- and yes, he [ticks] me off." He then moved on to the Red Sox, the prohibitive favorites in the AL East largely because they made two of the biggest offseason acquisitions in baseball, picking up All-Star left fielder Carl Crawford and first baseman Adrian Gonzalez through free agency. Those moves may have impressed most of the baseball world and earned Epstein kudos from other general managers, coaches and players, but Showalter is not impressed. "I'd like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay [Rays] payroll," Showalter snarked. "You got Carl Crawford 'cause you paid more than anyone else, and that's what makes you smarter? That's why I like whipping their butt. It's great, knowing those guys with the $205 million payroll are saying, 'How the hell are they beating us?'" You may like “whipping their butt,” but you actually have to accomplish that on the field in order to enjoy it, something Showalter’s team appears ill-equipped to do this season, just as they were last season, the season before that, the season before that and the season before that. Asked last week if he regretted making the aforementioned remarks, Showalter conceded he may have been better off toning down his comments, but he did not attempt to deny or back off them…………
- Panic reigns in this world in which we live. Natural disasters are occurring all over the globe, man-made disasters are happening frequently and nearly every nation in northern Africa and the Middle East seems to be in the middle of a violent revolution. The possibility of World War III seems more real than ever and when you factor all of these dangers into the equation, it’s not difficult to see why humanity might be a bit on edge. What does all of this mean? Big business for U.S. companies selling doomsday bunkers, that’s what! These ultimate opportunists are seeing sales skyrocket anywhere from 20 to 1,000 percent. One example is Northwest Shelter Systems, which offers shelters ranging in price from $200,000 to $20 million, and has seen sales surge 70 percent since the uprisings in the Middle East began in earnest. In an average year, the company sells four shelters. In less than three months this year, it has sold twelve and demand remains high. "Sales have gone through the roof, to the point where we are having trouble keeping up," said Northwest Shelter Systems owner Kevin Thompson. The field is deep and competitive when it comes to building underground bunkers and the good folks at UndergroundBombShelter.com, which sells portable shelters, bomb shelters and underground bunkers, have seen business pick up as well, especially in the wake of the Japanese earthquake. The company’s inquiries have risen 400 percent since the disaster and sales of its $9,500 nuclear biological chemical shelter tents are at an all-time high. The same goes for Hardened Structures, where inquiries have shot up about 20 percent since the earthquake -- particularly for its apocalyptic 2012 shelters, radiation-protection tents, and nuclear, biological and chemical air filters. But perhaps no company has seen as much of a surge in demand for its doomsday products as Vivos, a company that sells rooms in 200-person doomsday bunkers. Vivos has received thousands of applications since the massive earthquake in Japan, with reservations skyrocketing nearly 1,000 percent last week despite the fact that a reservation requires a minimum deposit of $5,000. "People are afraid of the earth-changing events and ripple effects of the earthquake, which led to tsunamis, the nuclear meltdown, and which will lead to radiation and health concerns," said Vivos CEO Robert Vicino. "Where it ends, I don't know. Does it lead to economic collapse? A true economic collapse would lead to anarchy, which could lead to 90 percent of the population being killed off." Such sunny prognostications, Robert, it’s easy to see why your sunny personality is a light in the day of anyone you encounter. The world hasn’t been this panicked about a possible apocalypse since the Y2K scare, which turned out to be an all-time dud of a disaster. If the prediction of the world’s end in 2010 that the mythic Mayan calendar predicts actually happens, many people will be riding it out in a ginormous bunker Vivos is currently building under the grasslands of Nebraska. This behemoth is 137,000 square feet, can house 950 people for up to one year and withstand a 50 megaton blast. Once completed, it will feature four levels of individual suites, a medical and dental center, kitchens, bakery, prayer room, computer area, pool tables, pet kennels, a fully stocked wine cellar and a detention center to corral anyone who becomes unruly on account of being trapped underground for as much as one year. For those who want to remember that there is still a world outside of their little palace of paranoia, the facility will also have a fortified 350-foot lookout tower. Act quickly, because spots are filling up fast and you don’t want to be left out in the very likely event that none of these monstrosities are actually needed…………
- Umm, I hate to break it to 15-minutes-of-fame YouTube “sensation” Rebecca Black, but this is getting worse and not better. That does not refer to her music, which was awful to begin with and really can't get much worse. What can get worse is the collection of musical hacks rallying to her support as her song 'Friday' has been widely panned and dubbed 'The Worst Song in the World' by many critics. It’s an accurate assessment because the song is mighty heavy on the auto-tuning, which is one of the biggest reasons pop music sucks today and will continue to suck indefinitely. Untalented hacks tweaking their voice digitally to smooth over their many deficiencies isn't music or art; it’s nothing more than techno-drivel with no musical soul. So of course one of the chief proprietors of crappy pop music, X-Factor and American Karaoke creator Simon Cowell, was the first big name to rally to Black’s defense and claim that she has "done nothing wrong.” But really, there is someone else out there, someone even more eminently qualified than Cowell, who can speak definitively on the subject of untalented hacks creating “music” that is nothing more than subpar singing, computer-generated notes and digitally-enhanced voices and a total lack of artistry: Lady Gaga. Who has milked more publicity and income from those very things than Gaga, who also adds to her persona with all manner of contrived and ridiculous antics and wardrobe choices? No one, that’s who. Thus, it makes perfect sense that Lady Gaga has labeled Black "a genius" and praised “Friday” effusively while doing a recent public appearance. ""I think it's fantastic. I say Rebecca Black is a genius and anyone that's telling her she's cheesy is full of sh*t,” Gaga said. Actually, you kook, no one is calling her cheesy. People are saying her song sucks and they are right. Best of all, Lady Gaga admitted that she hasn't yet seen Black's video, which has racked up some 35 million hits. So you haven’t actually witnessed this train wreck yourself, but you think she’s a genius? Thanks for that. For the record, Black recorded the song after her mother paid $2,000 to the Los Angeles-based Ark Studios and that investment is currently earning the Blacks an estimated $27,000 a week from iTunes sales and YouTube streams. Oh, and it’s also earning them a well-deserved reputation of being at the forefront of the rabid mob of idiots wielding guns, knives, clubs and grenades as they look to kill what remains of good music in this world…………
- Organized religion in its more traditional, conservative form is not having a good week. First, a small town in success is found to be having huge success with Pole Dancing for Jesus, a class for church-going women to work the brass pole to Christian music. Now comes research from Northwestern University suggesting that youths of a healthy weight who frequently participate in religious activities are twice as likely to become obese by middle age than their less-religious peers. Researchers factored in race, sex, education and income, which could independently affect likelihood of obesity, but the result remained the same. They used data from the Coronary Artery Risk Development in Young Adults study, which monitored weight and a number of physical and behavioral variables, including religious involvement, in more than 2,000 men and women over the past two decades. "We had previously found that those with high religious involvement were more likely to be obese [as middle-aged or older adults], but we wanted to follow people over time to make sure that people who are religious are more likely to become obese, not that people who weigh more are more likely to turn to religion," said Mathew Feinstein, lead author of the study. Previous studies have also drawn a link between high religious involvement and obesity, but those studies didn't necessarily find a connection between religiosity and negative health outcomes, such as markers of cardiovascular disease. Instead, studies have shown an association between faith and an increased lifespan. For Feinstein’s study, those who attended religious services more frequently tend to put on more weight than their less-religious peers - even if Feinstein and his team are uncertain as to why. One obvious explanation is the proclivity of religious and church gatherings of many denominations centering around food in some way. Needless to say, these gatherings and their gastric goodies tend not to be low-calorie health food. Other experts theorize that an increased focus on the afterlife may lead to less concern for physical well-being in the present one, leading religious people to neglect proper diet and exercise and instead place their focus on where they will be headed once they exit their terrestrial realm. That seems fairly asinine, given that focusing sufficient attention on both isn't exactly a Herculean task. Perhaps clarity can be found in a sociological study on the topic which postulated that associations between obesity and faith may have to do with a prioritization of certain sins over others……or not. Sorry, sociologists Krista Cline and Kenneth Ferraro, but your notion that religions tend to focus on sins such as smoking, drinking and promiscuity, while not caring about gluttony is even more absurd than the first two theories just covered. In other words, let’s commission some more studies and drag this thing out as long as possible…………
- Jordanians, I’m not going to lie to you. So many nations in your neck of the woods have already turned in such stellar and captivating riot and protest efforts that you’re going to need to come up with something extremely unique and original merit a blip on the Riot Watch! radar. So far, your endeavor is off to a decent start with hundreds of you setting up a protest camp in a main square in the capital on Thursday to press demands for the ouster of the prime minister and wider public freedoms. Right now, the crowd of 500 or so appears to consist mostly university students or unemployed graduates unaffiliated with any political party. That’s a positive sign because uprisings should unite people, not divide them. Politics tend to become extremely divisive and quickly. Social media have played a key role in many of the recent uprisings across the Middle East and Africa and they are at play in Jordan, as most of the assembled protestors said they met through Facebook last month to launch a group called the Jordanian Youth Movement. What are their plans now that they have set up camp? Group spokesman Ziad al-Khawaldeh said protesters would remain outdoors until Prime Minister Marouf al-Bakhit resigns. Their other demands include the dissolution of parliament, shutting down the feared intelligence department and giving greater powers to the people. One decision I would question for the group is changing its name so quickly, as it went from the Jordanian Youth Movement to "Youth of March 24" as of Thursday to mark the start of an open-ended demonstration. "Today is the dawning of the Jordanian revolution," said group spokesman Ziad al-Khawaldeh. "We will not move an inch from here until our demands are met." Hmm……the willpower sounds good, but then again, every group seeking to overthrow its government has a strong resolve at the start. Setting up shop outside an area housing the Interior Ministry and police, financial and other government offices is also a solid play, as are banners calling for a "new Jordan, clean of corruption and corrupt officials." The chief corrupt official protestors want to oust is Prime Minister Marouf al-Bakhit, whom they want to be replaced with a liberal government that would quickly implement reforms. Al-Bakhit has a reputation as a tough military officer incapable of change. If the protestors have their way, his removal from power will pave the way for an election law replacing a one seen as favoring the king's loyalists and stripping the king of some of his powers, specifically in appointing the prime minister. Electing a prime minister by popular vote is a worthy goal to aim for, as is the dissolution of parliament and the holding of new elections. Having said all of that, there’s a long way to go before this village of protestors turns into a fearsome force for change………
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