- Oh, this is going to be interesting. As the tenuous situation in Libya grows more unstable by the day and its embattled leader, Col. Muammar Gaddafi, goes on one rambling rant after another about how he won't step down and can’t step down because there is nothing to step down from because Libya is ruled by the people and…….jeez, my head hurts just thinking about this fool and the nonsense he babbles. But with his citizens rioting and demanding his ouster on a daily basis with no signs of stopping, it appears that the only possible outcome for all of this is a new leader for Libya. So…..wait a second….hang on…..who’s that riding to the rescue? Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez , that’s who! Gaddafi’s government has accepted a proposal by Chávez to negotiate a solution to the turmoil in Libya, a top aide to Chávez confirmed Thursday. However, the situation immediately became muddled when Gaddafi’s own son, Seif al-Islam el-Qaddafi, reportedly rejected Chávez’s plan. The younger Gaddafi said in an interview that he valued Venezuela’s friendship but that he knew nothing about Chávez’s plan and that Libya was perfectly capable of solving its problems without foreign intervention. Oh, he forgot to add that Chávez is a maniacal, brutal, oppressive and unjust dictator/megalomaniac who is as capable of diffusing a tense situation as Stevie Wonder is of judging a beauty pageant. Never mind that we have no real details about Chávez’s plan, because we don’t need details. It undoubtedly involves some manner of ripping the Libyan people’s rights from them, pushing some new law through parliament making Gaddafi dictator for life and taking it from there. The bond between Chávez and Gaddafi has existed for some time, as during his army days Chávez studied Gaddafi’s “Green Book,” a collection of the Libyan leader’s thinking on an alternative to capitalism first published in the 1970s - or a de facto manual for how to oppress your people and establish a reign of terror that continues for decades, but one or the other. After Chávez was first elected to lead Venezuela in 1998, Libya quickly emerged as one of its top allies within OPEC. In keeping that spirit of dictatorial friendship alive, Chávez has thrown out ridiculous theories in recent days that the United States and European countries are preparing to invade Libya and seize control of its oil fields. Needless to say, Hugo don’t play that. He still has so many fond memories of Gaddafi’s visit in Venezuela in 2009 (the League of Fascist Dictators likes to have frequent get-togethers), when Chavez presented the Libyan despot with a replica of the sword of Simón Bolívar, the Venezuelan aristocrat who led South American independence wars in the 19th century. Five years prior, Chavez awarded Gaddafi Venezuela’s annual Qaddafi International Prize for Human Rights. No word on whether the award was meant as an elaborate joke between the two men, but that’s the only way it would actually make sense. So from here on out, it’s Chávez and Gaddafi, two BFF dictators against the world…………
- Cracking on a legend in any sport is a dicey endeavor. You want to show respect for what they have done, who they are and the legacy they have built, but does that entitle them to say whatever they want about that sport - or any other subject - and not be called out on it? No. Being a legend and an icon may entitle you to many things, but unquestioned opining is not one of them. That means no free pass for you, Jack Nicklaus, when you say that it’s just a matter of time before Tiger Woods’ slump ends and he blows right by the Golden Bear’s record of 18 major titles won. Even though Woods hasn’t won a tournament since he became immersed in a sex scandal in November 2009 and remains stuck at 14 majors, Nicklaus sees a ray of hope and possibility where no one else does. “I still think he’ll break my record,” Nicklaus said Wednesday. “I’m surprised that he has not bounced back by now. He’s got such a great work ethic. He’s so determined to what he wants to do. He got maybe off the track, but I think he’s really a principled kid. Did he have some wayward … ? Yes. But are we all perfect? No.” Hmm….a few problems with that statement. First, Woods isn’t a kid anymore and hasn’t been for years. I realize that most older people refer to anyone under the age of 50 as a kid, but Woods doesn’t fit that description. Secondly, as Nicklaus points out, Woods has done everything he can think of and hasn’t bounced back at all. He’s as far from his old self now as he has been at any point since the fateful night when then-wife Elin (allegedly) chased him from their home waving a 9-iron and a frazzled Woods bounced his SUV off both a tree and a fire hydrant on his street as he drove away. It’s nice of Nicklaus to say positive things about Woods, but all that tells us is a) Jack is a nice guy and b) he hasn’t watched much of Woods playing golf lately. Additionally, he admitted that he hasn’t talked to Woods since last June, and that conversation was brief. No matter how sunny or optimistic a person’s world view may be, there’s no positive spin to put on a golfer failing to crack the top 20 in any of his three tournaments this year. While Nicklaus may want to draw a parallel between Woods’ struggles and the worst slump of his own career in 1979-80, the bottom line is he did not face anything remotely resembling what Tiger has gone through, nor was the media and public scrutiny anywhere close to what it is today. Points to Jack for being kind enough to blow a little sunshine Tiger’s way, but he’s fooling himself if he believes any of it or expects the rest of us to…………
- If you yawn while reading this net story, it’s okay. No one will be offended because it simply means you are one of the estimated one-third of U.S. adults who are not getting the recommended seven or eight hours of sleep a night. According to two newly published health surveys, more than one-third of respondents (35.3 and 37.1 percent, respectively) reported sleeping fewer than seven hours per 24-hour period or per night, according to researchers from the CDC's National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion and Office of Surveillance, Epidemiology, and Laboratory Science. And yes, that is in the running for longest and most difficult to fit onto a business card government agency name, probably the odds-on favorite at this point. Fittingly, researchers for both studies threw out the risky notion that this lack of sleep is negatively impacting those sleep-deprived individuals’ ability to get through the day, researchers found. One of the studies, published in the March 4 issue of Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (a must-read and a real pick-me-up on a rainy day), a significant percentage of those getting too little sleep had problems functioning on a daily basis, including difficulties with concentration and memory. "Continued public health surveillance of sleep quality, duration, behaviors, and disorders is needed to understand and address sleep difficulties and their impact on health," the authors the report explained. "As a first step, a multifaceted approach that includes increased public awareness and education and training in sleep medicine for appropriate healthcare professionals is needed. However, broad societal factors, including technology use and work policies, also must be considered." The second study relied on data from the 2009 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS) survey, which includes data from 12 states -- California, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Minnesota, Nebraska, New York, Texas, and Wyoming -- and 74,571 adults. In this study, more than one-third of respondents said they slept fewer than seven hours per 24-hour period on average. Not surprisingly, older adults were less likely to report getting too little sleep, probably on account of going to bed by 9 p.m. every night. With a small sample size (one year's worth of data), researchers compared their findings to previous sleep studies and found that the percentage of adults getting fewer than seven hours of sleep per night increased from 1985 to 2004. In another completely unsurprising theory, they attributed the increase at least in part to greater technology use. A whopping 37.9 percent of respondents also said that in the preceding month they had unintentionally fallen asleep during the day, and 4.7 percent said they'd fallen asleep while driving. "Unintentionally falling asleep during the day can be indicative of narcolepsy or hypersomnia and has been associated with obstructive sleep apnea, which, in turn, has been associated with hypertension, cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes, and obesity," the authors wrote. Added to all of those delightful side effects are loss of productivity on the job and an overall lack of energy. Oh, and you can throw in decreased concentration, difficulties remembering things and trouble taking care of finances. "Poor sleep habits, which include not scheduling enough time for sleep, can be assessed during general medical care visits and improved with effective behavioral changes," authors of the second study concluded. Great observations, but what researchers in both studies failed to do was come up with solutions for overworked people with multiple jobs in order to make ends meet who also have to raise families and carve out a few minutes for a social life each day. Guess we’ll have to wait for their next study for those……….
- How do you know when you’ve hit rock bottom as an entertainer? Well, appearing as a contestant, guest performer, judge or host on any season of American Karaoke is a great barometer. But if life hands you that significant hint and you still can't clue in, then there are other ways to figure it out. For example, if you are giving a free concert during the NCAA Women’s Final Four Weekend, feel free to assume that you are not high in the recording industry’s pecking order. That advice is specifically for you, country singer and former AK contestant Kellie Pickler. Pickler is headlining that free concert at 5:30 p.m. on April 2 at the Indiana Convention Center. The concert is part of a series of “Tourney Town” festivals that are scheduled on April 1 through April 3. Pickler, of course, is doing her best to sell how excited she is about performing a free concert at a sporting event that 99.8 percent of the American sports-watching public could not care less about and will be unaware is going on even as it’s happening. "I'm thrilled to be bringing our show to the NCAA Women's Final Four in Indianapolis," Pickler said. "The fans will already be in great spirits supporting their favorite teams and we can't wait to be part of the excitement." Well written, whichever of her publicists or PR flacks wrote that for Ms. Pickler. Before Pickler takes the stage to wow what will surely be a crowd of dozens and dozens, Indiana native and fellow country singer will open the show along with additional opening acts that have yet to be announced. For Pickler, the stop will undoubtedly be a fitting capper to a month of shows that will include stops in many flyover cities that no one in their right mind would ever want to live in, i.e. multiple cities in North Dakota and Minnesota. For an irrelevant sporting event like the NCAA Women’s Final Four, Pickler is a perfect fit………
- Quick, let’s play a short game of word association. When I say the phrase “relaxation brownies,” what comes to mind? Without a doubt, each and every one of you immediately thought of the one stoner at your job who absolutely, positively would bake some of their hippie lettuce into a batch of brownies and bring them in to work to leave in the break room so that the entire office gets baked and stumbles around in a purple haze for the rest of the day. But somehow, some way, a product known as Lazy Cakes has been branded as “relaxation brownies” and no one has objected despite the fact that Lazy Cakes do not contain a single ounce of cannabis. These misnamed treats look like the average convenience store snack and can typically be found on shelves next to potato chips, candy bars and hard candies in the Charlotte area, where they are currently sold exclusively. What makes Lazy Cakes lazy, you ask? If it’s not the chronic, then what could it be? How about…..melatonin? That’s right, freaking melatonin. The brownies have 3.9 milligrams of melatonin per serving and with two servings per package, that’s nearly 8 milligrams of melatonin if a person (i.e. the average American, who is overweight) eats the entire package. While melatonin is sometimes prescribed by doctors to help patients get to sleep, that amount is double -- or even triple -- what a doctor might prescribe the average adult for sleep assistance. Those numbers have caught the attention of Dr. Anna Dulaney of the Carolinas Poison Center. “People may be taking unnecessary risks if they eat these, thinking they’re just going to relax,” Dulaney said. “It could do more than (relax them) and make them excessively sedated, excessively drowsy or possibly unconscious.” Oh, and there’s also the small matter of a child potentially getting his or her hands on a package of Lazy Cakes and downing one or both of the treats. The heavy dose of melatonin could render them excessively drowsy and unable to be roused for several hours. Yes, the label states the brownies are “recommended for adults only,” but how many people actually read the packaging for anything they eat, drink or otherwise consume? All dangers aside, melatonin is not regulated by the FDA and so the maker of the brownies is not breaking any laws. Well, other than the unwritten law that calling something “relaxation brownies” had damn well better mean that they are laced with the hippie lettuce…………
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