- No one likes mascots. Okay, no one over the age of 10 likes mascots. For everyone outside that age group, mascots are annoying idiots inside furry, oversized costumes that do stupid stunts like shoot hot dogs into the upper level of an arena with an air gun or fruitlessly attempt to engage disinterested fans in whatever lame antics the mascot has in mind for an in-game timeout. Bearing that in mind, it’s easy to see where a Pennsylvania man who worked as the mascot for a New York Yankees minor league team might have trouble finding sympathy or support. Seems that Brian Bonner was laid off last month from his job as Champ, a furry, purple, monster-like creature with no actual class, genus or species. Neither the team nor Bonner has said why he was laid off, but he is now looking for some payback, claiming his former employer violated worker protection laws. He's suing the team because it allegedly improperly classified him as a manager to avoid paying him overtime. In other words, take a rank-and-file employee who is hourly, slap a managerial tag on him and poof, any issues over how many hours he or she is working go away. Bonner filed his suit Wednesday in federal court in Scranton and in it, he claims he could work more than 80 hours a week in a job that paid about $22,000 per year. The suit alleges that his title was "marketing and community relations manager," but he performed no supervisory tasks in addition to his mascot and community relations duties. Predictably, the team disputed the allegations immediately through team spokesman Larry Freedman, who says the club fully complies with overtime and minimum wage laws. The truth probably lays somewhere in between the stories the two sides are telling, but Bonner will need to fight through that natural, underlying and deep-seated hatred of mascots that we all have if he’s going to prove his case and get justice………..
- If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Don’t sleep on my pals the stoners. Literally, don’t sleep on them. If they’re baked and out cold on the couch, find somewhere else to take a nap until they wake up and start their day at 2 p.m. Also, I mean to say that you should cater to them just like you cater to all of the adrenaline junkies out there. See, for years beverage makers have sought ways to jam more electrolytes, caffeine and instant energy into drinks like Red Bull, Four Loko, Monster and Five Hour Energy. But not everyone wants to drink something to jack them up for an all-night cram session or energize them for the day ahead. If you want a drink to chillax, where do you go? A new type of beverage is making its way onto the market for just that purpose and some beverage makers have taken relaxation seriously by producing sodas laced with marijuana or ingredients to mimic that drug. "Everyone is looking for some effect somewhere," said Dr. Matthew Seamon, assistant professor in the College of Pharmacy at Nova Southeastern University. There are many options available to stoners looking to get baked without actually baking and they come with names that include Malava Novocaine, Drank, Unwind, Mary Jane's Relaxing Soda and Slow Cow. "When you are stressed out, normally you'd have a drink," said Matt Moody, founder of Mary Jane's Relaxing Soda. "You can't walk around smelling like vodka all day. I wanted to try to make something you can have to mellow you out. It's not going to make you stumble, fall down and slur your speech. It's a quick fix to slow things down when things get hectic." That’s not how critics of the new anti-energy drinks would characterize them, with many questioning the safety of such drinks, which are commonly sold at convenience stores. Very few studies have been done on them, although one could argue that the life of your average stoner is a real-life, working study. These new pot-like drinks are merely taking trends like mixing codeine cough syrup with Sprite or candies such as Jolly Ranchers in the 1990s to make what's been called "purple drank" and "sip and syrup," which has long been done in the South, and making some money off of it in an organized form. As you might expect when marijuana or marijuana-like substances are involved, there is the requisite group of alarmist fools trying to paint anti-energy drinks as the same type of gateway drug that they wrongly label the hippie lettuce as. If beverage makers say that their products are safe and help people, then I believe them because I’m all about helping people……….
- Good for you, Philippine government. Don’t you dare apologize to Taiwan over the recent deportation of its citizens. You claim that your country was just exercising its sovereign prerogative when it denied Taiwanese criminals a safe haven, so I believe you. Taiwan has a lot of gall to swagger into the room and demand an official apology for the deportation of 14 Taiwanese who were arrested in late December for running a scam that victimized Chinese mainlanders. In response to the request, Presidential Spokesperson Edwin Lacierda said while the government respects Taiwan's decision concerning its citizens, the Philippines would standing by its decision. He added that the Philippine government does not want to become a haven for international crime syndicates and had to act in order to protect the country's national interest. “We do not wish to be a haven of international crime syndicates. The evidence is in China, the crime was committed in China… so it was in our best interest, in our national interest to deport them to China," Lacierda said. That’s not going to sit well with Donald C.T. Lee, Special Representative of the Taiwan Economic and Cultural Office in Manila, who was the one to demand an apology for the deportation of 14 Taiwanese to China instead of Taiwan. "I strongly believe that the Philippines owes the Republic of China [Taiwan] an apology for the said unfortunate event," Lee said. And the Philippines strongly disagrees with that sentiment, Mr. Special Representative. While the Philippines is a major trading partner of the Taiwan, that doesn’t mean it must accept your criminals. Yes, Taiwan is one of the top destinations of Filipino migrant workers, but you cannot expect Manila to in turn feel compelled to placate its neighboring state at the cost of endangering its own national interest. The Philippines is going to stand by its decision and hope that China will view the actions it has taken as being in accordance with its national interest. To that end, they have asked the Manila Economic Coordinating Office to make representations for the Taipei Economic and Cultural Office, the de facto embassy of Taiwan in Manila, to the Taiwanese government on the issue. As for me, I’m simply going to admire the chutzpah of the Filipinos and the manner in which they have handled what is a very difficult and dicey international situation…………
- Comic book dorks, do what you will with this news. While you are still trying to digest the recent death of the Fantastic Four's Human Torch, the "something new" Marvel Comics Executive Editor Tom Brevoort teased in December has been revealed and the news is indeed huge. For starters, the group will no longer be using the name Fantastic Four. On Wednesday, Marvel announced that the team is now going to be called the Future Foundation, with "FF" No. 1 debuting in March. Their traditional blue costumes are gone and in their place, white-and-black outfits with three hexagons replacing the trademark letter "4" as well. But the biggest piece of news, as if all of that isn't enough to sufficiently rock the world of the nerds who anxiously await the release of new issues of their favorite comic books – or graphic novels if you so choose – is the identity of the fourth member of the group. Alongside Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards, Sue "Invisible Woman" Richards and Ben "The Thing" Grimm will be none other than the biggest, brightest star of the Marvel Universe, none other than Spider-Man (also wearing a new white-and-black costume). Some fans are already fired up about the news, recalling the ties between Spiderman and the Fantastic Four that stretch all the way back to 'Amazing Spider-Man' No. 1 in 1962. The synergy between the two was taken a step further in a 1984 issue of "Amazing Spider-Man," when Spiderman donned the iconic original Fantastic Four costume and writers worked around the problem of his mask by having him wear a brown paper bag on his head. Others see a fitting tie-in because the Human Torch has long been Spider-Man's best friend as a superhero. Twitter news feeds and Facebook walls have been plastered with discussions of Spidey’s addition to the FF, but not everyone is enthused. That’s to be expected when you take the most recognizable character from Marvel Comics and inject him into an existing group. Some FF fans might feel like the other three members will be overshadowed by Spiderman. It’s a busy time for the webslinger, with the new "Spider-Man" film starring Andrew Garfield and the cursed Broadway penned by Bono and the Edge of U2 that may or may not ever make it to the point of having actual live shows. It’s safe to say that Spiderman has to be considered the early favorite for Time’s (fictional) Person of the Year……….
- Like Twitter, Facebook and MySpace, online market places such as Craigslist are a dangerous place for idiots. The opportunity to communicate with the world at large without a filter is extremely dangerous if you’re a moron and Republican Rep. Christopher Lee of New York has become the latest in a long line of (un)distinguished people to prove that fact. Rep. Lee resigned his House seat Wednesday following a report that he, a married congressman, had tried to meet a woman on Craigslist. "It has been a tremendous honor to serve the people of Western New York," said a statement by Lee posted on his website. "I regret the harm that my actions have caused my family, my staff and my constituents. I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all. I have made profound mistakes and I promise to work as hard as I can to seek their forgiveness." Later in the statement, Lee said that "the challenges we face in Western New York and across the country are too serious for me to allow this distraction to continue, and so I am announcing that I have resigned my seat in Congress effective immediately." What, you man a distraction like a story a married congressman corresponding with a woman who posted a Craigslist ad and allegedly sending her a bare-chested photo of himself? Personally, the bare-chested mirror shot of himself was enough to do Lee in from where I stand. Every single dude who has EVER taken that picture should immediately resign from any position they hold, on account of being a tool, an ass hat and a knob. Seriously, it’s the shot that some poseur with a flat-billed hat and sagging jeans takes to throw up on MySpace or Facebook to impress his fellow 15-year-old social network users. For a sitting U.S. congressman to take and send that shot…..wow. Had I been there just before 6 p.m., when an announcement read on the House floor said Lee had resigned as of 5 p.m. Wednesday and the number of the House members decreased by one from 435 to 434, I would have applauded. He is a disgrace to dudes everywhere on account of that picture alone. I’m sure his wife and son are very proud as well. His resignation suggests that Republicans are extremely serious about a culture of zero tolerance in the House this soon after winning control of the chamber for the first time since 2007. People of New York's 26th district, let’s try to use better judgment when you vote for your congresspersons in the future. You should have been able to sniff out this loser from a million miles away……….
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