- If I actually cared about women’s basketball (or anyone else did), then this would be a fascinating story. One of the most accomplished players in the history of a sport embroiled in a scandal over whether or not she used performance-enhancing drugs, with the added intrigue of an international component to the saga. But alas, it is women’s basketball and so Diana Taurasi testing positive in Turkey for the banned stimulant Modafinil and subsequently passing a polygraph test last month in which she insisted she never took the drug isn’t a big deal. Taurasi used the polygraph results as part of a written defense that Taurasi sent to the Turkish Basketball Federation last week in which she seeks dismissal of the case against her. The test was conducted by former Chicago police officer John Fritz, who said he asked Taurasi two "relevant" questions Jan. 18: Did you at any time take the drug Modafinil or any similar generic brand name drug? And did you lie to club management when you denied ever using the drug Modafinil or any similar generic brand name drug? Fritz's report states that her score showed "that Subject was truthful when she answered 'no' to the above relevant questions." So what’s at stake here? For the average sports fan, nothing. That average sports fan doesn’t pay attention to the WNBA, so he or she surely pays even less attention to international women’s hoops. For Taurasi, there is much more to lose. She was fired by her Turkish club, Fenerbahce, in December and faces a ban of up to two years that endangers her chance to play for the United States at the 2012 London Olympics. Also, if she is ultimately found guilty and officially suspended, Taurasi would also be subject to a World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) rule that would erase any time she served if she went to play for the WNBA. The rule is intended to prevent banned athletes from merely going to play in leagues not regulated by WADA to sidestep a ban. Taurasi's Los Angeles defense attorney, Howard Jacobs, is arguing for dismissal of her case and has criticized several irregularities in the way her case was handled by Turkish authorities. Chief among those criticisms is the handling of her urine samples prior to testing, including a seven-day period, he says, during which there was no documentation indicating where they were kept during transportation from Istanbul to Ankara. That could be a problem because WADA maintains specific criteria for identifying Modafinil in labs and Jacobs insists Taurasi's results fell outside the agency's allowable margin of error. Questioning this particular lab in Ankara is a wise move because the lab had its drug-testing credentials suspended by WADA for three months in 2009 due to problems with its methods. As for Modafinil, it is a stimulant prescribed to treat narcolepsy patients who suffer from excessive sleepiness and need help staying up - the very sort of thing that would help anyone trying to watch women’s professional basketball. The next step in the process for Taurasi is to wait for the Turkish Basketball Federation to rule. After that, the first appeal would be to the Turkish Sports and Youth Arbitration Association, and if necessary, the international Court for Arbitration in Sport, which is the Supreme Court for doping cases. The legal battle could take a few months, but odds are it won't be any more boring than your typical WNBA game………
- Attention, Massachusetts residents: Rep. Cleon Turner or a member of his staff will soon be coming to your driveway or parking lot to clean the snow and ice off your car before you get out on the road……wait, you mean that’s not going to happen? Then Turner’s idea for a law that would fine drivers for not cleaning winter debris off their car before pulling onto the road is just asinine. Sure, having snow and chunks of ice come flying off the car in front of you can be tough, but a little bit of safe driving on your part can alleviate much of the danger. The incident that took place Friday morning on I-93 in Andover, when ice flew off of a tractor trailer in front of a Honda Civic and landed so hard that it cracked the windshield is scary, to be certain, but the driver of that car was unharmed and the incident was nothing more than a blip on the radar. It’s certainly no reason to overreact, but overreact someone must in every situation and in this case, it’s Rep. Cleon Turner. “I’m more concerned about having legislation there or a statute there eventually that will give police the tools they need to stop a vehicle and say, ‘Look. You need to clean the snow off your vehicle because it’s dangerous,’” said Rep. Turner. Great, an alarmist lawmaker looking to make a name for himself. And by making a name for himself, I mean this kook wants to fine people $500 for not brushing the snow and ice off their ride. Left unsaid is exactly what the standard will be. After all, if you brush off 95 percent of the snow on the roof of your SUV but miss one chunk that flies off and a cop sees it, then what? Or how about someone else’s debris flies off their car, lands on your roof and then flies off your roof, but the cop only sees it come from your vehicle? It’s a ginormous can of worms you’re opening here, Rep. Cleon Turner, quite a can of worms……….
- My bad In writing about Friday’s riots in Sri Lanka, I made it seem like they were the capper on a week of uprisings stretching from north Africa to the Middle East to Asia, but that was a mistake. To imply that would be to overlook the great riot effort turned in by tens of thousands of Serbian opposition supporters who have rallied against their government, calling for early elections and economic reforms. This group of outraged Serbs was led in their uprising by the Serbian Progressive Party. SPP leader Tomislav Nikolic addressed the crowd in front of the parliament building in the capital, Belgrade. While the gathering may not have produced the sort of furor and awe-inspiring violence that the clashes in Egypt have produced this week, the numbers were impressive. Serbian police estimate at least 55,000 people gathered for the rally, but objective observers put the number closer to 70,000. In his remarks, Nikolic did a solid job of inflaming the crowd by calling for higher wages and an end to government corruption. Claiming that the other side is corrupt and dishonest is always a solid play and so is referencing the recent protests in Tunisia and Egypt and saying that governments around the world are learning they need to listen to the people. Even if your situation has nothing to do with theirs and nothing in common with what they are going through, try to tie it to a higher cause. I like it…..check that, I love it. Even though parliamentary elections are scheduled for 2012 in Serbia, the opposition wants them held sooner. Much like President Hosni Mubarak is dragging his feet and trying to prolong his reign of terror in Egypt by promising not to seek re-election but refusing to resign early, the current regime in Serbia seems content to take the same course even as rising prices, unemployment and poverty have led to discontent with the pro-European Union government. Unfortunately, protests have remained mostly peaceful thus far and only a handful of dissidents have been arrested. The time has come to change that if those demanding change actually want to see it happen…………
- How do you know your life is waaaaaay out of control? When you’re texting multiple porn stars from rehab to inform them that your partying days are finished, that’s when. I’m looking right at you, Charlie Sheen (not that I needed to specify) because you’re the one breaking out the BlackBerry from Promises or whatever rehab facility you’ve checked in to this time and firing off texts to Bambi, Ginger, Destiny and the girls to let them know that no longer will you be renting $1,000-a-night hotel room with hot tubs and balconies and using those rooms to have massive porn-star-and-coke orgies until you pass out and are rushed to the hospital. On some level, I suppose you could give the "Two and a Half Men" star credit for attempting to get clean and return to the show by the end of February, but that’s the sort of vow we’re heard from Sheen before and it always ends the same way - with him face down in a pile of the Bolivian marching powder, surrounded by women who take some on film from strangers for money. But hey, maybe this is that moment of clarity for Sheen, the one where everything comes into focus. Let’s check out his texts to his porn star pals: "Please lose the number, we are closed ... please drive through ... thank you," he wrote to one. "Right now we are on lockdown," he texted another. Hang on…..right now? So you’re on lockdown for the time being, but maybe not for long? And no, I don’t care that sheen urged these women not to contact him when his treatment ends. There are too many porn stars out there and too much Colombian nose candy to be snorted for Sheen to stay down for too long. Yes, an alleged 36-hour cocaine and drinking bender with several porn actresses led to his hospitalization Jan. 28, but coke addicts are not renowned for their commitment to anything but blow and a relapse would surprise no one. On account of not wanting to see anyone snort themselves into an early grave, I hope I’m wrong, but I doubt it…………
- One of my biggest pet peeves in life: people who pretend that a) dogs are human members of their family or b) anyone who acts as if fictional characters are real. This story involves the latter half of that beef and it centers on Mattel, the world's largest toy company, which has launched a digital marketing campaign in hopes of reuniting none other than Barbie and Ken. If you remember, Mattel “broke up” the two plastic dolls on Valentine's Day in 2004. Since then, they have led separate, but successful” lives. However, Mattel has pretended that Ken is something other than an overpriced piece of plastic crap made by sweatshop workers in Indonesia and had him revamping his mind, body and soul to win Barbie back since 2006. That quest has now kicked into high gear, as Ken hopes to win back his plastic woman in time for Valentine's Day, with a little help from the social networking universe. That’s right, Mattel is asking Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and YouTube losers who have far, far too much time on their hands and have wasted a sufficient amount of time on Facebook “Yes/No” quizzes and “Like my status and I’ll post on your wall” ploys to vote on whether Barbie should "take Ken back" or not. From those platforms, losers are directed to barbieandken.com, where users can vote and check out a Love-O-Meter, gauging voters' feelings on the topic. The campaign marks Ken's 50th anniversary and comes just in time for the release of a new "Sweet Talking Ken" doll that Mattel describes as "the ultimate boyfriend for every occasion," because he "says whatever you want him to say!" Oh Mattel, how I love your feeble attempts and relationship humor. The extent of the online world Mattel has crafted for Ken is truly disturbing. On Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare, fans can follow Ken's adventures to win back the love of his plastic, inanimate life, follow along with tweets promoting his romantic efforts and even get involved in a text campaign, where users can text THUMBS UP or THUMBS DOWN to 51684 to vote on whether the two dolls should get together again. According to the tiny plastic doll’s Twitter page, Ken is also busy following his favorite sports team, the Lakers, and reading Men's Health and Esquire. He’s “visited” the Metropolitan Museum of Art in an attempt to infuse culture into his fake life. Sadly, there are kooks out there who are actually interacting with Ken as if they would a real person. Oh, and Ken is an Apple fan, using a MacBook Prop and enjoying his Internet time by browsing on Google Chrome. Mattel has really embarrassed itself on this whole project, going back to last year's Fashion's Night Out event in New York City where it staged a "Catch Me If You Ken" promotion. Perhaps the most absurd part of the show has been Ken appearing on Canadian entertainment show ETalk and buying a spot in Us Weekly to confess his love. Now please excuse me while I go find something to vomit into…………
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