- While fragrances for men or women aren’t my speciality, I feel confident in saying the following: Either make your fragrance a perfume for the ladies or make it a cologne for the dudes. There is no “both” when it comes to things you buy in a bottle and spray on your body to make it smell good. This piece of advice goes out to Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom and his D-list celebrity wife/reality TV cast member Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom who have launched what they claim is a gender-neutral fragrance called Unbreakable. “It took us nine months of disagreements before we finally agreed on the right scent for Unbreakable,” Kardashian explained. “It was hard to come to an agreement because we wanted to be able to live in this scent.” Wow…….that’s laying it on pretty thick to promote your product. But if you spent nine months working on the scent, then how did you not spend an additional few months realizing how asinine it is to claim that your fragrance is neither cologne nor perfume, but some sort of weird hybrid that you think will appeal to both sexes. See, that’s the problem. You’re not straddling the fence and offering something that appeals to both men and women; you’re trying to sell dudes on a fragrance that is, presumably, somewhat feminine and appealing to the ladies and you’re attempting to convince women to spray a substance on themselves that has to be somewhat masculine in order to appeal to men. Sounds like a lose-lose to me, but a fair amount of losers showed up for a launch event for the unisex scent at a Perfumania store in Orlando on Saturday. According to Odom and Kardashian (and whatever PR flack fed them the information), the fragrance combines scents such as dark chocolate, nutmeg, cedarwood, sandalwood, jasmine and vanilla into one tragically marketed blend. “Unbreakable does come on strong. It is a genuine aphrodisiac that both men and women can relate to,” Kardashian stated. Odom tried to sell everyone on how masculine the scent is by claiming that he shared Unbreakable with his Lakers teammates and they loved it. I just wonder how much they would love it if they had to pay $42 for a 3.4-oz. spray and knew that it was some gender-neutral fragrance that was supposed to be for everyone, regardless of their gender……….
- I’ll be honest: I had no idea that there was a practice in the city of Chicago whereby people left worthless junk in the center of a parking space they had cleared out after a blizzard swept through town. But clearly people are doing it, leaving old lawn chairs, empty crates or other garbage to “save” the parking spot they shoveled out so they can return later with their car and not worry that some other parking-starved Chicagoan will snap up the spot first. The practice quickly came to the attention of city officials, who warned Tuesday that in three days, they’ll start taking away the junk left on city streets to call “dibs” on parking spaces. “While the historic blizzard did present challenges for Chicago residents, we also know that nearly two weeks after the storm’s end, routines have resumed to normal for most of us,” Department of Streets and Sanitation officials said in a statement Tuesday afternoon. “The warmer temperatures over the last several days have helped to melt and reduce snow volume, and those above-freezing temperatures are projected to continue throughout the week. Given this extended period of warmer weather, we are asking residents who have placed items in the street to save parking spaces to please begin removing those items — as snow melts, these remaining items add clutter to the public way.” Honestly, at the risk of sounding like I’m siding with The Man, it seems like a reasonable request. Dropping a worn-out old lawn chair to save the parking space you spent an hour shoveling out so you can park within eight blocks of your apartment building is fine, but if you’re leaving that chair in place for days on end, then you deserve whatever you get. Saving a parking spot for days is akin to asking a stranger at a movie theater to save a seat for you 15 minutes before the start of a crowded evening showing of a new movie - a bad idea that won't work. City officials probably shouldn’t worry too much about the problem because I have a feeling that other Chicago residents will probably take care of the issue by removing said space-saving junk themselves if it sits there for longer than a few days. With trash pickup behind, city sanitation workers simply haven’t gotten to the garbage being used to reserve parking spots. Officials expect that to change by Friday, at which point they will begin clearing away “any remaining debris from the streets” — in other words, the crap that people have set out in order to save parking spots. Oddly enough, the practice of saving spots after a snowstorm is a tradition in Chicago and using old furniture, empty crates, buckets or other items after digging out a space is actually a recognized means of calling “dibs” on a spot. Furthermore, anyone stealing a “reserved” spot can typically expect a fight or to have his or her car vandalized or covered in snow and ice. Oh, the lengths lazy Americans will go to in order to avoid walking a few blocks further to get to their car and having to endure some extra exercise……….
- It’s official: North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il is officially the crazy lady in your neighborhood with 75 cats who never leaves her house and occasionally pulls back the drapes and glares for a few seconds at the dag-nabbed world outside her window before returning to her favorite chair to knit another shawl that no one will ever wear and watch Jeopardy on TV. How else can you characterize it when the legendary bunch of squares that is the U.S. State Department is publicly chiding the dictator of a foreign country to get "out more often" and live a little? That piece of friendly wisdom came after my man K.J. Il’s (a good rap name, by the way) son apparently attended an Eric Clapton concert overseas. Kim Jong-Chol, second son of the leader of the communist nation, ventured to Singapore this week to attend a Clapton concert, which makes sense because in the past North Korea has suggested that helping to arrange a Clapton concert within its borders would go a long way toward soothing tensions between the U.S. and North Korea. And where else would a State Department official dispense that social wisdom but Twitter, where the world goes to say stupid sh*t and then a) claim their account was hacked, b) claim a friend or relative posted it for them without their permission or c) delete it in the pathetic belief that no one saw or retweeted it. "#KimJongIl's son attended an #EricClapton concert in Singapore? Actually, the #DearLeader himself would benefit from getting out more often," State Department spokesman Philip Crowley said on Twitter. "Of course, there is nothing preventing #KimJongIl from opening up #NorthKorea so his people could enjoy #Clapton, and maybe get more to eat," Crowley said in another tweet. Not that I have ever been to or wanted to see a Clapton show in person, but I have to admit that I would have laughed my ass off at the sight of Jong-Chol, wearing black trousers and a T-shirt, cheering and swaying among fans at Monday's performance in the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Having media members pore over TV footage showing a man resembling Jong-Chol entering the stadium with an entourage of some 20 people including bodyguards and women carrying bouquets was equally amusing. The idea that Kim Jong Il “getting out” more and attending, say, a Bon Jovi show in Tokyo would help bolster international food and economic support for North Korea……that might be the funniest notion of all. Donations have dwindled amid international concern over its missile and nuclear programs and I don’t think the Dear Leader swaying and singing along to “Dead or Alive” with a lighter held aloft is going to change that……….
- Great timing, researchers from the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research in Chandigarh, India. Here in the United States, we’ve made it most of the way through the winter and thus, your timing in announcing the results of a study suggesting that raking zinc supplements could be the best weapon in the battle against the common cold isn’t quite as helpful as it would have been THREE MONTHS AGO. The study, published in the health care journal The Cochrane Library, suggests that zinc can reduce the severity and duration of the cold virus and possibly even prevent the virus altogether. For this tardy study, researchers examined data gathered from fifteen trials on more than 1,300 participants. They found that cold sufferers who began taking zinc in the form of tablets, lozenges, or syrup within a day of the onset of symptoms experienced curative effects. Better still, participants who took zinc regularly for at least five months saw a reduction of the number of colds they contracted. Why zinc? Possibly because it is a trace mineral necessary to the basic biological process, such as with cell division. Some of its properties could be antiviral properties, or they may prevent the release of histamine and prostaglandin, which are known to increase inflammation in the nose that contributes to stuffiness, pain, and sneezing associated with a cold. Taking some of the edge off the results of this study is the fact that this is not the first study to hail the effectiveness of zinc against the common cold in regards to both prevention and lessening symptoms, so in a large sense it serves merely as a confirmation for those earlier studies, a fact that lead researcher Meenu Singh of the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research copped to. “This review strengthens the evidence for zinc as a treatment for the common cold,” Singh admitted. He and his team also put out a written release saying in part, “At seven days, more of the patients who took zinc had cleared their symptoms compared to those who took placebos. Children who took zinc syrup or lozenges for five months or longer caught fewer colds and took less time off school. Zinc also reduced antibiotic use in children, which is important because overuse has implications for antibiotic resistance.” Riiiiiight. Thanks for confirming something we already knew, research team. After all, that’s exactly what science is all about…………
- Awwwww…….isn’t that sweet? Embattled Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative (BALCO) founder Victor Conte has a friend……one who isn’t in a Usain Bolt-like sprint away from Conte because being associated with him at this point is only slightly better than being in business with the devil himself. Conte, who served jail time in 2005 for conspiracy to distribute steroids and money laundering and has been tied to numerous athletes who have tested positive for performance enhancing drugs and also to embattled former major leaguer Barry bonds, has a BFF in Chicago Cubs center fielder Marlon Byrd. Byrd believes in Conte and said as much in an episode of HBO's "Real Sports" that aired Tuesday. Byrd admitted he is the only player in baseball who still works with Conte, which makes sense given a) baseball’s increased focus on performance-enhancing drugs and b) the fact that Conte triggered a federal investigation of steroids use and distribution among athletes. After making his remarks on “Real Sports,” you might think that someone within the Cubs organization or Major League Baseball might get to him and convince him of the need to dial down his rhetoric. But when Byrd reported Wednesday to training camp in Mesa, Ariz., he wasn’t backing down from his words. "To be honest with you, he could tell me how to beat the system. But then he would have to put himself in that situation again," Byrd said. "He wouldn't want to do that, and I wouldn't want to do that." Byrd’s association with Conte began three years ago when he was with the Texas Rangers and Byrd conceded that Major League Baseball has spoken with him about his relationship with Conte. "[They said] 'Why in the world are you working with Victor Conte? It was a choice I made, to work with him," Byrd explained on "Real Sports." "It's me believing in him which a lot of people do not. "I'm not afraid of Victor Conte." The cynic would point to Byrd’s career-best season in 2009 with the Rangers (.289, 20 home runs and 89 RBIs) and the three-year contract he signed a three-year with the Cubs as a free agent after that career year and wonder if maybe Conte wasn’t working his magic once more, but Byrd insists that’s not true. While he was the Cubs' lone All-Star last season, he insists that he’s doing it legitimately. As for Conte, he’s tried the same sort of brilliant business semantics that New Kids On the Block attempted after going away for a few years and returning as NKOTB, renaming his business SNAC, standing for Scientific Nutrition for Advanced Conditioning. SNAC (which sounds like it should have to do with food) works with NFL players, Olympic track and field athletes and swimmers. Ironcially, Byrd began working with Conte and SNAC to ensure that none of the supplements he was taking were banned under MLB’s drug policy. Has Conte turned over a new leaf and gone legit? It seems unlikely, but crazier things have happened………
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