- Why does no one ever invite me along on these sorts of things? Sure, I’m not an astronaut and posses essentially none of the qualifications necessary to be one (outside of being alive and breathing), but I would totally kick butt on something like a spacewalk to start fixing a part of the International Space Station's cooling system. Instead, actual astronauts drew the assignment and got to work on Saturday in a spacewalk that lasted 8 hours, 3 minutes -- the sixth longest in human spaceflight history, according to NASA. The entire project was completed by just two astronauts who still weren’t able to complete all of the work they wanted to get to despite spending one-third of a day in space (I guess weekend workdays in outer space aren’t all that different then ones here on Earth). Engineers back on this planet are now reviewing data from the repairs to determine if the problems that necessitated the spacewalk have been fixed. Those problems included a failed ammonia pump that broke July 31, setting off warning alarms and shutting down part of the space station's cooling system. According to NASA, the temperature of the orbiting station's sun-facing side would soar to 250 degrees Fahrenheit unless the repairs are done, while thermometers on the dark side would plunge to minus 250 degrees Fahrenheit. A backup system on the space station is holding the fort down for now, but the six people -- three Americans and three Russians -- currently on the International Space Station would likely feel much better if the main system were up and running. It has to be hard focusing on the more than 100 ongoing experiments in biology, physical sciences, technology development, and Earth and space sciences currently ongoing aboard the ship knowing that major mechanical issues are lurking just outside the door. Astronauts could start another spacewalk Wednesday to resume efforts to remove and replace the failed pump, a mission for which I am conveniently available, NASA. You know where to find me………
- When you’re working on a mind-blowing, record-extending 18th consecutive losing season that is the envy of crappy teams from all around professional sports, I guess expecting your coaches to keep their jobs is a bit much to ask. Now, if I’m talking record-breaking streaks of losing seasons, I can only be talking about one team: the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Buccos, plowing right through another miserable campaign at 39-72 heading into action this week, fired pitching coach Joe Kerrigan and bench coach Gary Varsho on Sunday, saying they are no longer right for the staff. What, helping lead a team to the second-worst record in baseball isn’t good enough? Sure, Kerrigan has failed to produce anything close to the successful pitching staffs in the Steel City that he was able to concoct in Boston, Philadelphia and Montreal as pitching coach, but is that any reason to fire him and replace him with his own assistant, former major league pitcher Ray Searage. Nor is having one of the worst offenses in baseball and a team that consistently fails to do the little things any reason to off your bench coach. I feel bad for Pirates manager John Russell, who said it was a "gut-wrenching decision" to let go two men he respects greatly. Russell clung to the party line in the end, saying the firings were necessary for the Pirates to accomplish something this year before heading into next season. "There were some issues I've been working through for some time now that could not be resolved in a way that would be for the betterment of this team and this organization," Russell said. "I lost two friends today; that's tough to deal with. But my main focus -- and what will always be my main focus -- is this team and this organization." He and general manager Neal Huntington stood united on the decision, based largely on the perception that the team’s pitching staff has regressed overall and that regression is due to poor mechanics from many of the team’s top young pitchers. All told, prior to the firings - which occurred prior to Sunday's game with Colorado - Pirates starters were 21-58 with a 5.38 ERA for a team that has lost 19 of 28, has been at least 30 games below .500 every day since July 30 and is within shouting distance of suddenly resurgent Baltimore for the worst record in the majors………
- Oh, this is going to end poorly, but at least the fireworks will be spectacular. South American neighbors Colombia and Venezuela have been doing a slow, drawn-out dance toward one another and the impending military showdown that will break out sooner or later. Both sides have thrown out inflammatory accusations against one another, with the primary issue being Colombia’s claim that Venezuela is harboring and assisting rebel groups whose purpose is the overthrowing of the current Colombian government. After that, Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez threatened military ramipercussions against Venezuela, the United States and any nation that lined up on their side of the battle. With those threats still hanging in the air, Chavez and newly elected Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos will meet Tuesday for talks to try to end ate standoff diplomatic between the nations. Santos announced the talks on his Web site, which may not have been the best move. After all, these talks are going to end in horrific fashion, with the two sides even close to an all-out war, so why get anyone’s hopes up. It’s not as if Chavez is suddenly going to have major compunctions about last month’s decision to break off diplomatic relations with Colombia. Likewise, I don’t think Colombia is suddenly going to change its mind about believing that Venezuela is giving assistance and lodging to rebels from the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (also known as FARC) and National Liberation Army (ELN) at camps in Venezuela. Relations between the two nations have gotten progressively worse over the past three years and Chavez kicked things up a notch by freezing relations last year when Colombia signed a military agreement with the U.S. and in 2008 when Colombia conducted a raid against leftist guerrillas into Ecuadorian territory. But to Santos’ credit, he had barely been sworn in Sunday when he was finalizing those plans to meet with Chavez while also vowing to unify his country around the goals of prosperity for all and of thwarting the nation's leftist rebels. Perhaps the attendance at the inauguration of Venezuelan Foreign Minister Nicolas Maduro is a good sign, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Maduro met with his Colombian counterpart, Maria Angela Holguin, on Sunday and said he wanted to deliver a positive message from Chavez. "We would like to deliver -- that's what President Hugo Chavez specifically indicated -- a message of love and solidarity to all of the people of Colombia; a message for the future and for hope," Maduro said. "We would like to reach out with our loving hand, of friendship and of fraternity to all of the people of Colombia." Whoa there, let me get a shovel and start digging if you’re going to pile it that high and deep. Suddenly, Chavez and Co. can't wait to grab face time with Colombian leaders. "I invited Santos to go to Caracas," Chavez said. "If he can't come, I'll go to Bogota.” But anyone feeling let down by this nice, friendly talk between two rival nations need not worry, because the old Hugo Chavez showed his face later in the speech when he angrily threatened that at "the first disrespect to Venezuela, the first false accusation, and everything will be over." See, I knew you were still the same angry, menacing, oppressive dictator I’ve come to know, loathe and hope for the assassination of, Hugo………
- Rare is the product with the capacity to sicken both the person or being consuming it AND anyone who comes into contact with it. That sort of dual threat is all but impossible to find and that’s why I’m so impressed with a recent rash of contaminated dry pet food that can sicken animal owners and children with Salmonella as well as making the family pet ill. The down low on the tainted pet food was detailed in a study published Monday in the journal Pediatrics. Researchers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention dug deep into the issue and found that there were 79 reported cases from a 2006 to 2008 Salmonella outbreak. They reviewed interviews with members of the affected households and determined that results suggested exposure to animals as a possible source of infection. Using ample lab and epidemiologic evidence, researchers concluded that dry cat and dog food produced at a plant in Pennsylvania resulted in human illness during that three-year period. “Both direct contact with animals and indirect contact with environments where animals live and roam and other materials associated with animals (tank water, food and water dishes, and cages) can lead to human infections,” wrote the authors of the article. The most vulnerable individuals to the harmful effects of the toxic pet food were, not surprisingly, children aged 2 or younger. They accounted for about half of the reported cases of the 79 Salmonella infections, leading the authors to provide these tips about avoiding contamination: 1) Pet food bowls and pet feeding areas should be routinely cleaned and disinfected, 2) Keep infants out of pet feeding areas, 3) Children under age of 5 years should not be allowed to touch or eat pet food, treats and 4) Animal housing, food or water dishes should not be cleaned in kitchen sinks or tubs. Now, those would seem to be self-explanatory and obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people ask their infants to feed Fido these days or slam some Alpo down on their kid’s dinner plate and tell them to eat up if they’re hungry………
- If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that bratty young actress Taylor Momsen is just pulling a Chael Sonnen these days. Sonnen, of course, is the up-and-coming UFC fighter who spent the past six months bumping his gums, talking smack and making himself a household name in order to promote his fight against middleweight champion Anderson Silva at the UFC 117 pay-per-view. Sonnen made incendiary coments about topics that had no relation to the fight whatsoever, things like alleging that Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer by taking steroids. In the end, Sonnen succeeded in garnering publicity for the fight and nearly pulled off he impossible, getting the better of the champ for four and a half rounds before tapping out to a triangle choke with less than two minutes left. Momsen may not have a UFC bout to promote, but she is the skank fronting Madonna’s new skank-tastic fashion line and she is an aspiring musician, so there is still plenty to promote. To that end, Momsen is taking pot shots at everyone within firing range, first putting teeny pop singer Miley Cyrus on blast and then taking a few moments to do a rip job on the Catholic church during a New Zealand radio interview, making all sorts of classless comments about the church and its clergy. "I was raised Catholic," Momsen said. "I f***ed a priest once -- I'm just kidding." Ahhhh, very funny. As someone who isn’t Catholic, I can't take offense on those grounds, but I can take offense on account of Momsen being a vapid, transparent tool who is clearly saying anything and everything she can to draw attention to herself, to sell the fashion line she fronts and to boost her singing and acting careers. And hey, I get it. When your biggest “accomplishment” to date is being one of the central characters on a teen soap opera on the lowly CW network, you need to do outrageous things in order to get people to pay attention to you. The priest comment was designed to give her a chance to talk about a song she wrote called "Going Down" with her band, The Pretty Reckless. "It seemed like a very fitting song to write at the time," Momsen explained. "It was kind of a f*** you to all the molestation going on. It was just insane." Oh, and she also carved out a few minutes to talk about her love of sex toys, which is what every 17-year-old should be talking about in interviews, right? Stay classy, T…………
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