- Hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween weekend and drank enough to forget that Halloween isn’t even a real friggin’ holiday. It has a wide appeal, granted, because kids love wearing costumes and getting loads of candy, enough to sugar them up for the next decade plus, and college kids love an excuse for another party and to get hammered. But what exactly are you celebrating? Christmas (the birth of Christ), Easter (Jesus’ resurrection), the Fourth of July (the declaration of America’s independence), Memorial Day (those who have died in wars), they all center on actual things to celebrate. Halloween, not so much. Enjoy the occasion, I guess, just don’t try to tell me it’s a holiday, that’s all. The next person I hear declare that, “Halloween is my favorite holiday,” may find themselves on the wrong end of a baseball bat to the head.
- The fact that Saw III was the top movie at the box office is something I am going to chalk up to it being Halloween weekend. Because it can't be that Saw is the best movie out right now, I’m neither ignorant nor stoned enough to believe that to be the case. I’ve seen some of the others pictures out now, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that a gore-fest sequel to a movie franchise that’s been clichéd and trite from the start isn't much of a cinematic masterpiece. Amazingly, the best movies always seem to fall into the gap where the general public isn't sharp enough to recognize them, but the awards shows are just a bit too snooty and pompous to honor them.
- From the realm of the bizarre and mildly disturbing……the state of Tennessee had enacted new state guidelines prohibiting sex offenders on probation or parole from attending Halloween costume parties this year or put up Halloween decorations at their homes that might attract children. I’m all for keeping kids as far away from sex offenders as possible (yes, Michael Jackson, I’m looking at you, just stay in Bahrain and don’t come back), but how exactly are you going to enforce the no costume party rule? Are P.O.’s gonna raid the ex-con’s closets for contraband Superman costumes or gorilla masks? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t there adult Halloween parties, where these freaks could go and no be anywhere near kids? The rules apply to all sex offenders, not just those whose victims were minors, which is all the more curious. These offenders also can’t go to corn field mazes and other common Halloween attractions. Good to know that Joe Sex Offender can't dress up as Johnny Depp’s character from Pirates of the Caribbean and attend an adult Halloween costume party, I feel so much safer, thanks state of Tennessee.
- Am I the only one that’s horribly ashamed to live in a country whose music chart currently sports not one but two singles from the weasel-voiced, Michael Jackson wannabe, Justin Timberlake? It would help if this glorified American Idol rip-off didn’t inhale a tank of helium before he sings, but even that wouldn’t be enough. How awesome is it to see him try to grab some cred by collaborating with Timbaland on his new album, as if that can cover up the depths of his suck-itude. Are there really that many teenage girls out there buying albums and songs off of iTunes that Timberlake is so high on the charts? Yikes.
- Following up on a previous observation, the CW network has suffered its first show casualty of the season. Runaway, the hack-job of a show that replaced beloved drama Everwood, was yanked after three episodes. A few more moves like this and CW head honcho Dawn “Shoulda been an Enron exec” Ostroff will win the “Network Executive of the Year” award before November sweeps are over. And if you think this is just another excuse to take a shot at Ostroff and her team of brainless buffoons at the CW, you would be right. But they’ve earned it, and for the Everwood decision alone have earned at least another five years of outright mockery.
- Hands down the best show on TV most every week has been Veronica Mars this season. That the show is struggling to gain a bigger following is a shame, because nowhere else can you find the same smart, sarcastic and laugh out loud goodness that this show offers week in, week out. The butchering of the show’s opening credits and theme song notwithstanding (seriously, it looks like a bad impression of an early Law & Order season credits), the show itself is great. If none of its actors or writers receive Emmy nominations this year, it will only further solidify the Academy’s absolute ignorance and stupidity in honoring the truly great shows on TV.
- Election Day is just a week away, whooooo! Not excited, you say? Me neither. What’s so fun about voting for secretary of state, state auditor, county commissioner and the like? Somebody has to do it, I guess, and most years, I’ll go ahead and vote even though I’d rather not. This year I’m not feeling the urge, and I’m tempted to skip just to give the finger to all of the annoying candidates who fill my TV screen with ads 24/7 decrying the horrible deficiencies of their opponents while extolling their own amazing virtues. Here’s an offer: I will promise to vote for any candidate who can prove that they have never run a single TV or radio ad. Leave me alone and I’ll vote for you, sound like a good deal?
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