Monday, October 10, 2011

SWAT raids on Brad Pitt films, resident neighborhood kooks and more reasons not to be FAT

- Brad Pitt films being overhyped and over budget is nothing new, but having property being used by one of Pitt’s films raided by a Hungarian SWAT team is definitely a novel phenomenon. Pitt, who is hard at work on a zombie movie called World War Z, is said to be livid after a SWAT team on Monday raided a Budapest warehouse holding weapons being used in the film. Sources claim the film is already significantly over budget and not on schedule and having a SWAT team conduct a raid on a storage facility for props and weapons will clearly help on neither front. Police seized 85 fully-functional weapons from the facility, most of which were automatic, military-style assault rifles that now cannot be used for blasting holes in the undead. "We can confirm that weapons were confiscated at an airport," Hajdu Janos and Zsolt Bodnar, the director and deputy director of Hungary's Anti-Terrorism Unit. Why the overreaction from the long arm of the Hungarian law? A source claims the guns came with paperwork claiming they were non-functional, which is a bit of an issue because the weapons seized by the SWAT team are in perfect working order. "This morning a private plane brought guns wrapped in a parcel from a company to an individual [in Budapest]," Janos explained. "Guns like these are highly illegal to transport even if they were to used as stage guns, which hopefully they weren't." No one is clear on who Pitt is pissed at, be it the Hungarian authorities for not simply allowing the guns to stay where they were or the idiot who lied on customs forms about whether the guns were functional or not. So who is to blame? "The movie company's employees must have made a mistake bringing the guns in without the Anti-Terrorism Unit's permission," Janos stated. "We are interrogating witnesses now, getting closer to solving the firearms story." Interrogating? Yikes. That doesn’t sound pleasant. For the record, World War Z is scheduled for a December 2012 release by Plan B Entertainment…………


- These kooks live in your neighborhood. Even if you reside nowhere near South Bend, Ind. and even if you have no idea who Alan Lekarczyk and his wife are, these kooks still live on your neighborhood. How? Listen and learn. In every neighborhood in every corner of the United States (and probably the world), there lives a couple or an individual who does asinine things on their property that double as community eyesores and monuments to their idiocy. Whether it’s a giant lighthouse, a Christmas lighting display so bright the local airport demands it be shut down so pilots don’t become confused or some other gawdy display, there is at least one fool in every ‘hood who will erect this sort of monstrosity. The Lekarczyks are that couple in their neighborhood and the 20-foot replica of Notre Dame’s famed Golden Dome is evidence of that fact. Why construct a 20-foot replica of a building topped by a shiny, golden dome that stands at the center of the local university’s campus? "I grew up as a Notre Dame fan. My father was a Notre Dame fan and he raised me as a Notre Dame fan," Alan Lekarczyk said. He went on to explain that he and a friend came up with the idea while talking about their mutual love for the Fighting Irish's tradition. "I am just so proud to be a Notre Dame fan, actually because of the history,” Alan Lekarczyk declared even though he did not attend the school and neither did his wife. Loving Notre Dame was all it took to construct the 12-foot-wide octagon that is taller than his one-story home. He claims that neighbors drive by and people stop by just to see the dome, or perhaps they come to remind themselves that there are people in the world far dumber than they happen to be. Hearing Lekarczyk speak about his golden dome is even more disturbing, as he proudly proclaims, "This is probably the most precious thing I have other than my children and my family." As for that family…… Lekarczyk must have given up quite a few concessions to his wife to get permission to build the dome because his wife is a University of Michigan graduate, as in Michigan, one of Notre Dame’s biggest rivals. Oh, and there’s having to deal with all of the neighbors thinking (rightly) that your husband is the biggest tool box in the neighborhood………..


- Thanks for finally getting around to this, Burmese government. After freeing the country's democracy movement leader Aung San Suu Kyi following more than 15 years under house arrest for daring to act as if election results vaulting her to power were legitimate, the government is now set to release hundreds of political prisoners and clear the way for Aung San Suu Kyi and her supporters to take part in parliamentary elections later this year. At least that is the story being relayed to Western diplomats, who are likely as dubious of the claim as everyone else. Rumors of an emerging political accommodation between Burma's Nobel laureate and the country's military regime grew louder Monday as Burma moved toward an end of its international isolation for its treatment of Suu Kyi. Assistant U.S Secretary of State Kurt Campbell cited "dramatic developments under way" and said Suu Kyi had held "very consequential dialogue" with leaders in the military-backed government. Sources claimed Shwe Mann, speaker of Burma's lower house of parliament, told Norway's visiting deputy foreign minister Espen Barth Eide that the ruling generals plan to release more than 1,200 political prisoners "within days." Another Burmese official speaking on the condition of anonymity said the prisoners would be released before the President Thein Sein leaves for an official visit to India on Wednesday. The releases would not be enough on their own to resolve Burma’s tensions with the international community, but they would be a good first step. Coupled with the lifting of restrictions on free access to the Internet by military rulers and the suspension of work on the controversial Myitsone Dam for a hydroelectric power plant on the Irrawaddy River amid widespread opposition, Burma is at long last moving in the right direction - for now. Even in releasing wrongly jailed prisoners, however, the Burmese government can't just do the right thing. Most observers expect that some key prisoners may not be released until the eve of the November summit of the Association of South East Asian Nations to boost Burma's campaign to chair the group in 2014. For the record, the current totalitarian regime officially denies it is holding any political prisoners. Ultimately, the prisoner releases are a tribute to Suu Kyi, who refused to allow her spirit and belief in democracy to be broken despite two decades of around-the-clock persecution by the government. She continues to lead the National League for Democracy and negotiate productively with a government that is talking to her only because of the deep international sh*t it has landed in over its previous wrongdoing in her saga. To complete the release process, the government must also lift a ban on former prisoners joining political parties. Let’s get that done, Burmese government, because it’s already taken far too long………


- Here we go again. Reasons not to be fat, No, 5,144,887: Ladies who are obese during their pregnancy put their children at higher risk of developing asthma compared to mothers of normal weight, according to a recent study from Sweden. While all women put on a few pounds during pregnancy, this is a different issue entirely. Pregnancy weight is one thing; being dozens of pounds overweight before you become pregnant and exacerbating the problem by cramming every food item in sight down your pile hole for the ensuing nine months is something else entirely. The study examined more than 129,000 mothers in Stockholm and their 189,000 children, with the end result being that mothers who were very obese, or with a body mass index of 35 and over, had a 61 percent increased risk of their children developing asthma by the time they were between eight and 10 years of age. "We found that there was a clear increased risk of childhood asthma, medication use and hospitalization with increasing degree of obesity and overweight in mothers in early pregnancy," said lead author Adrian Lowe from the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute and University of Melbourne. "Obese mothers had a 41 percent increase in the odds compared to normal weight mothers ... those who were a little overweight had 18 percent increased chance.” As an added bonus (aside from giving people another reason to put down the tray of triple-fudge brownies, get up off the couch and exercise, this study was also a rare collaboration between Australian and Swedish medical professionals. The Aussies and Swedes are both thoroughly likeable nationalities who love drinking, so they should pair up more often. In this case, the study was a joint effort between the two Australian institutes and Umea University in Sweden. Its findings are predicated upon the conclusion that its responses toward allergies. "The results suggest that campaigns to reduce obesity prior to conception may have a beneficial effect on childhood asthma," Lowe said. Plus, not being grossly FAT should drastically increase one’s chances of finding a man with whom to have a child in the first place……………


- Minnesota Vikings receiver Bernard Berrian has not had a good past two weeks. Following an ugly home loss to Kansas City in Week 4 in which he caught just one pass for 20 yards to give him two receptions for 37 yards on the season, Berrian was goaded into a war of words on Twitter with state representative John Kriesel. Kriesel tweeted that anyone looking to follow a truly funny Twitter account should follow @B_Twice, which is Berrian’s handle on the popular microblogging site. Kriesel’s reasoning was Berrian talking about how he is always open during games, with the implication that a receiver with such paltry production is delusional or just hilarious for suggesting such a thing. Berrian fired right back at Kriesel, telling him to shut his mouth and come watch film at the Vikings’ facility so Berrian could prove his point. When an athletic department official pointed out that Kriesel was a military veteran who lost a leg in combat, Berrian still refused to back down or show respect. Other Twitter used jumped in as well and the digital brawl was on, with Berrian never fully apologizing for his ill-advised words. His run of bad fortune continued Sunday, when he was a healthy scratch for the first time in his career as the Vikings defeated hapless Arizona 34-10 for their first win of the season. Berrian was on the inactive list Sunday against Arizona for a disciplinary reason that Vikings coach Leslie Frazier declined to specify. Being deactivated for a game your team desperately needs to keep any hope of salvaging its season alive is a terrible sign, but Frazier tried to convince the world Monday that his troubled receiver will be back in the rotation this week for playing time. Frazier insisted Berrian's mind is in the right place and that he's still counting on him to contribute, which is amusing because Berrian hasn’t contributed all year. But maybe some Twitter combat with fans and public officials is just what he needs to get himself into a productive frame of mind…………

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