- It’s the next logical step in her career, but will Lindsay Lohan take it? She clearly has drug and alcohol issues, isn't reliable and has huge problems with authority. No director wants to blow a massive chunk of change on insurance to have her as part of a movie and her music career might be the only part of Lohan’s troubled life that is more laughable than her acting career and sobriety. So while she endures the indignity of court-ordered community service as part of the cleaning crew at the morgue in Los Angeles, Lohan really should consider the offer she has allegedly received from none other than Hugh Hefner. That’s right, Lohan apparently has an offer to pose for Playboy. Her publicist is neither confirming nor denying the reports, but the rumors of a $1 million offer are out there. For a serious actress, posing for a skin mag is unthinkable because it’s one step above porn star or stripper, one of the last stops before you’re taking some from a stranger on film for a few hundred dollars. However, Lohan isn't a serious actress and hasn’t been for a long time - if ever. On top of that, Lohan isn't exactly known for her modesty and she has made a definite point of trying to liken herself to sex icon and former Playboy model Marilyn Monroe. Lohan went so far as to reenact Monroe's last nude photo shoot for New York magazine and named her company, 6126, for Monroe's birth date. Lastly, there is the reality that Lohan has ceased to be relevant as anything other than a punchline for late-night monologues and doesn’t really have a way back to the top. So why not nosedive for the bottom, grab a $1 million payday along the way and cash in while you still can? In 10 years, when she’s lying down on a filthy mattress in some back alley in Chatsworth, making “The Boner Identity 5” and thriving in her role as the queen of adult films, $1 million to take off her clothes and pose for some pictures is going to look like a great offer. Take it now before even Playboy thinks you’re too much of a loose cannon, L…………
- Not so cocky now, eh Europe? You had plenty of fun laughing at the bumbling Americans as the United States staggered through its financial crisis earlier this year and chuckled as the U.S. had its credit rating downgraded. But how does it feel now that the eurozone is itself on the brink of a meltdown thanks to crises on multiple fronts? European leaders insist they are making progress on a comprehensive plan to address the eurozone's debt and banking crisis, but these leaders have been short on details so far. Delays have plagued the process and so far, no concrete plan has emerged. Perhaps that will change on Wednesday, when government heads from all 27 members of the European Union will gather for a second time, following a summit over the weekend. The euro is facing its most serious threat since the common currency was launched over a decade ago. Financial experts maintain that the crisis threatens the very existence of the eurozone, necessitating a wide-ranging, comprehensive package to alleviate the crushing pressure on many EU nations. The three major issues in the current round of talks are: restructuring the Greek government's crippling debt load, strengthening European banks and improving the effectiveness of a limited rescue fund. Hopes are not high for the new round of talks, as it took nearly three months for relatively modest crisis measures announced in July to be approved by all 17 euro area governments. November’s Group of 20 summit is expected to provide more answers, as the world's most powerful leaders will gather in Cannes, France and try to find solutions to the EU’s lingering monetary problems. Greece’s debt crisis is the most troubling of the financial problems facing the EU, especially determining the role the private sector could play in restructuring its ginormous debt. Banks and investors may have to voluntarily accept larger writedowns on the value of Greek government bonds to resolve the crisis. On the heels of a 21 percent reduction in July, bondholders likely won't be so welcoming of reductions closer to the 50-percent writedowns many analysts believe are necessary. Talks with the Institute of International Finance, which represents the interests of banks that hold Greek debt, have not gone well. IIF president Charles Dallara cited limits to how much the private sector will tolerate and warned that any "unilateral actions would be tantamount to default." There also exists a danger that other cash-strapped nations will seek a similar deal to what Greece receives. European banks are struggling as well and must raise capital reserves to withstand a default by Greece or another euro area government. That total could rise as high as €200 billion and the debate over where the money should come from has been heated. German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nicolas Sarkozy have led those who believe that banks should first try to raise capital from private investors before seeking government aid. One part of the equation nearly everyone seems to agree on its that the European Financial Stability Facility, a €440 billion fund recently empowered to intervene in sovereign debt markets and lend money to governments that need to boost bank capital, is insufficient. So where’s the laughter now, Europe? Umm…..nowhere, actually. Pretty much the entire world is in deep financial sh*t and the picture isn't brightening any time soon…………
- Rarely is there so much talking after a Week 7 NFL game between two teams that are long shots at best for the Super Bowl. But when the New York Jets and cherubic head coach Rex Ryan are involved, normal isn't especially relevant. After a week in which he inadvertently insulted Chargers head coach Norv Turner by suggesting he would have won multiple Super Bowls if the Chargers had hired him instead of Turner in 2007, Ryan got over when his team rallied from a 21-10 halftime deficit for a 27-21 win. Just don’t expect the Chargers to give the Jets credit for the win or for the Jets to win with class, because neither one of those things is happening. Chargers tight end Randy McMichael lit that fuse after the game when he refused to give the Jets credit for holding his team scoreless and rallying in the second half. "The San Diego Chargers beat ourselves, OK?" McMichael said. "It's all about us. We took our foot off the gas pedal, and we lost because of it. ... Their secondary isn't anything. It's our fault. It had nothing to do with anybody on their team. It's all about the guys in this locker room. We lost the game. They didn't do anything." His words didn’t sit well with former Charger current Jet (and serial impregnator) Antonio Cromartie, who did not have complimentary things to say about his former team. "Honestly, when you're up by 11 points in the fourth quarter and you can't even finish the game up?" Cromartie mused. "That shows what kind of team you are -- a team that can't finish and that's been San Diego the whole time. There it is." Yes, there it is. The 4-3 Jets running smack like they’re 7-0 - Ryan also let rip with a “Stay classy, San Diego” blast Monday - and the Chargers refusing to admit they were not the better team even after quarterback Phillip Rivers’ second-half meltdown that was the linchpin for an offensive tank job rarely seen by the NFL team from Ron Burgundy’s home town………….
- Give an idiot some attention and this is what you get. Granted, noted ass hat Richard Heene essentially forced the world’s hand by committing a crime to get the attention he so desperately needed, but that’s only part of the equation. If Heene’s name sounds familiar but you can't remember why you hate him, he is the father of Falcon Heene, a.k.a. the international headline-grabbing "Balloon Boy." Richard Heene first tried an appearance on the oh, so forget table reality series Wife Swap and when that failed to catapult him to fame, he pretended his son was stuck in a flying balloon and incited a minor panic as emergency rescue teams tried to save a boy who was in actuality just fine, safe and sound at home. That stunt landed Richard Heene in jail for three months (and should have landed his brat kid in jail with him) and now that he’s out, it’s once again time for the loathsome, IQ-stunted aspiring star to continue chasing his dream of fame. So what’s next for Richard Heene? Sadly, it’s a cheesy music video in which he christens himself "Aluminum Man." Apparently Aluminum Man is Heene's musical alter ego that has brought him from zero to superhero, at least according to the ridiculous, low-rent YouTube video. In this surefire classic, the newly minted crime fighter "lives inside an aluminum can, cooks his eggs in an aluminum can," according to the lyrics. Seriously? Lives inside a can and cooks eggs there? What does any of that have to do with anything? Aside from being an insulting rip-off of Sesame Street’s Oscar the Grouch, what’s noteworthy about any of that? Some blame also has to go to Count Smokula, the featured singer on the track. Heene tries to pretend he’s something other than a middle-aged white dude, attempting to rap in "gritty" settings like a factory workhouse, a parking lot, the back of a pick-up truck and a grassy field while Smokula and a band play in a basement. The budget for this video had to be the price of Big Gulps and glazed doughnuts for the whole pathetic cast and crew. It even has its own vomit-inducing moment, when someone opens the door on Heene nude, except for a strategically placed sheet of aluminum. Young Falcon also makes an appearance early in the video, which might actually be the high point of this train wreck……………
- Great. Not only is going to the gas station a hazard to one’s wallet, but it is also a legitimate health threat as well. According to a scientific survey released Tuesday, a whopping 71 percent of gas pump handles are highly contaminated with germs most associated with a high risk of illness. Other public places are germ havens as well, with 68 percent of corner mailbox handles, 43 percent of escalator rails, 41 percent of ATM buttons, 40 percent of parking meters and kiosks and 35 percent of crosswalk buttons and vending machines. In other words, Bill Murray’s germophobic character in the film What About Bob? was right to be petrified of nearly every surface he came into contact with. The study, which seems a bit self-serving because it was conducted by Kimberly-Clark Professional, a subsidiary of the tissue maker, was designed with help from environmental microbiologist Charles Gerba, a professor at the University of Arizona. Gerba and a team of trained hygienists took measurements with repeated swabs of the items using the same methods as the food and other industries utilize to monitor sanitary conditions. Aside from instilling an all-out paranoia in any public setting, what are the ramipercussions of the study. Primarily, it showed consumers need to take more precautions against germs at work, on their way to and from work and when they eat out, said Brad Reynolds, leader of the Kimberly-Clark's Healthy Workplace Project. What does Reynolds recommend? An exhaustive daily routine of sanitizing and cleaning, that’s what: washing hands upon arrival at work, swabbing desks with cleaning products and cleaning one’s computer regularly. "As your computer boots up, wipe down your desk and mouse," Reynolds suggested. Wearing a surgical mask and gloves throughout one’s day could also work, but may come across as a bit extreme. Perhaps we can convince oil companies to give drivers an “Our gas pumps are biohazards likely to make you sick” discount of a few cents on their next fill-up…………
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