- Soccer, you never cease to amaze and amuse. The so-called “beautiful game” is a sports also-ran for the overwhelming majority of Americans, but every now and then a dose of soccer absurdity reins in even the most avid soccer hater. You know, an absurdity like Spanish club Real Madrid signing a 7-year-old soccer prodigy from Argentina. To be fair, 7-year-old Leonel Angel Coira isn't exactly going to be on the Real Madrid roster any time soon and will attend the club’s soccer academy for the next few years, but that only makes his signing slightly less ridiculous. After all, what exactly did he do to separate himself from the other second-graders on the field? Successfully tie his shoes and kick the ball more than three straight times without tripping over it and falling down? Yes, Real Madrid did sign star Lionel Messi from Argentina when he was a teenager and he is now the best player in the world, but what are the odds Coira comes anywhere close to being an elite player on a global scale? He’s seven freaking years old, after all. There’s as good a chance that he decides in five years that he hates soccer and wants to be an astronaut as there is of him being as good as Messi or anywhere close. Messi may be his idol, but that doesn’t mean a 7-year-old kid won't change his mind in a heartbeat about what it is he wants to do with his life. Banking on a 7-year-old to help you win something similar to the 15 trophies, including three Champions League titles and five Spanish league championships, that Messi has helped Real Madrid win is an idiocy unique to soccer. There’s a reason the NBA isn't knocking on the door of those for whom recess is still a vital part of the school day and NFL teams are going toe-to-toe over some slightly oversized, fast-maturing kid from Orlando who isn't yet old enough to have outgrown his SpongeBob Squarepants phase. Well done, soccer, for proving you’re every bit as absurd as we all remembered you to be the last time we took a few seconds to care about your fringe sport…………
- Learn better dietary habits and this sort of disaster can be avoided, America. That is the lesson being taught to us all by two boys from Stamford, Conn. who turned a simple dinner into a way to burn their family’s home to the ground. Seems one of the boys was outside cooking steaks on the grill, while the other was inside packing for a trip. One of them had also placed some French fry oil on the stove to make a starchy addition to their meal. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way both boys lost track of the stove and hot French fry oil became boiling hot French fry oil, bubbling over onto the stove and sparking an explosive fire that destroyed the home near Village Hill Road and Westford Ave. around 11:30 p.m. Sunday. Had the boys been putting together a meal of salad, green beans and tofu, they would not have encountered this problem. A neighbor called the fire department after the boys got their dogs and ran from the house. A state trooper in the area at the time also saw the fire and called it in. How was it that two teenage boys didn’t have a cell phone between them to call 911? "Neither of us had phones that worked at the time, so he drove down to the station and I was banging on all the neighbors' doors," said Jesse Boys. While he banged on those neighbors’ doors, his family’s 100-year-old, wood-frame house burned fast and furiously. Water was trucked in by the nearest fire department, but not in time so save the home. "There was a pond in the area, but it wasn't deep enough to draft. Mostly it was mutual aid companies coming in with tankers to attack the fire," said Stafford fire marshal Tom Finch. To add a healthy dose of danger to the mix, the house also contained ammunition and oxygen tanks that created an even bigger, louder explosion. "All you hear is all the bullets lighting, the oxygen tanks. It wasn't like started hissing and making these noises, it was all of a sudden this giant mushroom cloud and even though we were 100 yards away we could still feel the heat," Jesse Boys said. The best part of the story, however, was the boys’ parents being away on a trip at the time of the explosion. Oh, what a warm and fuzzy family phone call that must have been…………
- Not to crack on a country adamant about putting itself on the fastest path toward a nuclear weapon that could annihilate the enemy of its choosing, but Iran should probably step its game up and stop looking to play the blame game if it expects anyone to take its burgeoning nuclear program seriously. Stepping up definitely does not describe the program at present, with Asgar Jalalian, a member of a special parliamentary committee on the Bushehr nuclear plant in parliament, saying Monday that the country's first nuclear power plant will not start up by late August, as scheduled after one previous delay. Furthermore, Jalalian blamed the delay on Russia, which is building the facility. Blaming communists is typically a no-brainer in any situation, Iran also needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask if some of the blame doesn’t lie within. The 1,000 megawatt plant being built in the southern port city of Bushehr has been beset by one delay after another and that doesn’t even account for the enormous pressure being put on Tehran by the United States and its allies. Those foreign powers have not wavered from their belief that the program is aimed at developing nuclear weapons and Iran has not deviated from its lie, er, um, story that its program is for peaceful uses like power generation. Blaming the Russians is an easy out for Iran, as the plant is indeed being built by Russian company Rosatom. Originally, it was to be finished by 1999, four years after construction of the $1 billion facility began. Twelve years later……not so much. Jalalian ripped Rosatom and admitted that his committee has determined that the late August start-up deadline will be missed and that they had handed over a report dealing with the issue to the parliament. "We believe the Russians are not being honest ... about the plant," Jalalian said. Not being honest? They’re not being honest about a plant the rest of the world believes you are compulsively lying about the purpose of? Boy, that is rich. Speaking of rich….Jalalian claimed Iran had already paid at least twice more than the planned construction costs on the project, and additional funds are being demanded. Part of the problem could be an alleged lack of “financial ceiling, timetable and end date" in the contracts with the Russians, which shows just how inept and naïve Iranian officals were in negotiating those contracts in the first place. When asked to comment on Jalalian’s claims, Rosatom spokesman Sergei Novikov said the company had no comment. The Bushehr project actually hails back as far as 1974, when Iran's U.S.-backed Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi contracted with the German company Siemens to build the reactor. The project took a detour in 1979 after the Islamic Revolution brought hard-line clerics to power and work on the plant didn’t move forward again until 1992, when Iran signed a $1 billion deal with Russia to complete the project and building began in 1995. Among its many setbacks since then is the a malicious computer worm that infected laptops belonging to Bushehr employees last year even though Iranian officials denied that the Stuxnet worm had affected the facility. Those nations so vehemently opposed to the plant and its alleged purpose must be extremely thankful that a) the project seems be cursed and b) those responsible for it appear to be ginormous morons………….
- The battle for Botox is on. No longer is the toxin solely for injecting into the cheeks, foreheads and butts of superficial, vapid, looks-obsessed SoCal housewives who dream of reality TV fame. Thanks to pharmaceutical company Allergan, Botox will soon have a new use. Allergan CEO David Pyott spoke last week of a new use for the drug and cited analyst estimates that it could add hundreds of millions to annual sales. That use was identified this week when the Irish Medicines Board gave Botox a positive opinion as a treatment for urinary incontinence caused by spinal cord injury or multiple sclerosis. While not as glamorous as taking wrinkles off the face of some 52-year-old, fake-tan-loving Beverley Hills housewife, treating urinary incontinence caused by spinal cord injury or multiple sclerosis would give Botox a use that is real, necessary and not just a lame grab at reclaiming one’s youth solely for egotistical purposes. The board gave its endorsement based on a Phase III study that showed Botox injections reduced involuntary bladder contractions and increased capacity, helping to prevent urine leakage, even stopping it altogether in some patients, Allergen said. Under the European Union’s mutual recognition rules, Botox for this new purpose is now eligible for marketing licenses in 14 European countries that work under the guidelines . "Our task now is to work closely with the national health authorities to secure the relevant national licenses so that we can bring this valuable treatment option to patients, as quickly as possible," Allergan European President Douglas Ingram said in a statement. Allergen has also applied for U.S. approval for the same indication, with a decision still pending. Interestingly enough, Botox is also approved for use against muscle spasticity and migraines. Of course, those uses don’t spark enough interest for their own E! reality show…………
- Now that ABC has confirmed the end of its popular night-time soap opera Desperate Housewives, the obvious questions that always arise for shows nearing their end are popping up. Will the romantic hook-ups fans have long demanded come true, will key characters die and who will ride off together happily into the sunset as the final scene ends. There is also the matter of popular characters who have left the show possibly returning for one last episode or a quick final-season guest run. After the network confirmed rumors of the show’s end Sunday, one odd return rumor popped up despite being extremely implausible and nearly impossible given the way this actress’ character left the show. See, Nicollette Sheridan’s character, Edie Britt, was killed off, via electrocution, during the show's fifth in 2009. Working a dead person back into the show isn't impossible (flashbacks, dreams, etc.), but that would not be the only hurdle in the way of Edie Britt showing up on Wisteria Lane again. There is also the lawsuit Sheridan filed against show creator Marc Cherry in 2010, accusing him of assault and wrongful termination. A judge dismissed the assault charge, but the wrongful termination charge is headed for trial, with Sheridan seeking $20 million in compensation. Actors tend not to return to work on shows whose creators they are currently suing, as $20 million lawsuits have a propensity for creating something of a toxic work environment. Cherry’s speculation on a possible Sheridan return (sort of) was news to the actress, who answered questions about it from host Kathie Lee Gifford during a stop on the "Today" show Monday to promote her Hallmark Channel movie, "Honeymoon for One." Queried about the story, Sheridan seem befuddled. "That's news to me," said the actress. "I had an amazing time playing that character. I loved her dearly, but they killed her. She's dead." To top off the entire mini-saga, it seems likely that Gifford merely misinterpreted Cherry’s remarks and intent when he answers a question Sunday at the Television Critics Association summer press tour in which a reporter asked him about ways to “invoke Edie without our actually seeing Edie.” Lay the blame for this one on Gifford………..
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