Sunday, May 29, 2011

Idiots gets more rights, movie news and border crashings

- Idiots in Texas may soon have a privilege that idiots in 17 other states across the nation currently enjoy. For too long now, IQ-deprived fools in the Lone Star State have not been able to (legally) wade into their favorite stream or watering hole, stick their hands down into some hole or recess in the river bed and attempt to pull out a catfish with their bare hands. The practice, known as noodling, is legal in neighboring Oklahoma and 16 other states and it may soon be legal in Texs as well. A bill approved by the state legislature last week would make noodling legal in Texas. Presently, those caught noodling in Texas face fines of up to $500 - not to mention potentially getting their hand bitten clean off by a large, angry snapping turtle if they stick their arm into the wrong hole while looking for that prize catfish. The concept of noodling is actually quite bizarre, with the goal to get the fish to latch onto the noodler's arm with their mouths or to take hold of the fish by the gills. Once he or she accomplishes either of these things, they take the fish to a boat or to shore and gets the fish to let go of the arm. Because catfish can grow to nearly 50 pounds, it can sometimes taken two brain-dead idiots to successfully complete a noodling attempt. Those who value their hands and overall well-being won't be affected by this legal change, but anyone dumb enough to engage in this foolhardy hobby is probably fired up by the very real chance that their favorite pastime could become legal simply by virtue of their governor slapping his signature on the bill and making it official…………


- Anyone who has been involved in an office pool on who will purchase the first model of the world’s first commercially available quantum computer, that question has been answered. Aerospace, defense and security company Lockheed Martin sealed the deal for the über-computer, which uses principles of quantum mechanics rather than classical mechanics. Quantum computers are different than conventional computers because instead of relying on transistors, they rely on principles of quantum mechanics to conduct operations. Properties like entanglement — when two particles have the same properties and behave identically while being separate — and storing data with “qubits,” or quantum bits, make a computer more powerful and faster. Whereas typical bits store memory by registering an “on” or “off,” or a one or zero, qubits can represent information as both memory and the state of entanglement with other particles. It sounds confusing……and it is. All you need to know is that a quantum computer uses a system of 128 qubits, which means the computer will be able to solve more complex problems than traditional computers at a much higher speed. It doesn’t have much of an impact on the things the average computer user does with their machine - updating their Facebook status, knocking out a Tweet about standing in line at Chipotle or downloading porn - but for aerospace, defense and security companies like Lockheed Martin, the computer’s ability to tackle computing-intensive problems related to number theory and optimization is rather handy. One example of its computing power is the use of Shor’s Algorithm, a quantum algorithm that determines the prime factors of a large number quickly and efficiently, to break modern encryption algorithms like RSA encryption, a type of public-key cryptography. The quantum computer’s brain power could theoretically lead to new kinds of encryption methods and security algorithms to secure data and model more complex systems. The computer’s maker, D-Wave, was founded in 1999 and calls itself “the quantum computing company.” The sale price is a cool $10 million, should you be in the market for one…………


- Border crashing party, all! Everyone into the pool - or in the case, the mostly barren desert wasteland that is Egypt. On the day Egypt re-opened its border crossing from the Gaza Strip for the first time in four years, hundreds of Palestinians from the Gaza Strip bum-rushed the crossing. The opening is permanent and comes despite Israeli concerns that the move strengthens Hamas’s rule of the area. Nearly 300 Palestinians crossed into Egypt this morning in a process called “smooth and easy” by a Hamas police officer on the scene. The decision to reopen the border was hailed by the Hamas Islamic movement, which controls the Palestinian enclave. Israel strenuously objected to the move and warned of potential dangers from it. “We will obviously be looking to preserve security arrangements at the border and hope nothing will be done to allow Hamas to empower itself and to reinforce its terrorist infrastructures,” Yigal Palmor, an Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman, said in a phone interview. “The Israeli position has been made known to all relevant authorities, including in Egypt.” Not only is Egypt reducing restrictions at the Rafah crossing, it will also waive visa requirements for most Palestinians entering from other departure points, except neighboring Libya. Hamas saluted the border opening as helping the Gazan population “ease its suffering.” Israel, of course, maintains an embargo on the Gaza coast in an effort to prevent alleged weapons smuggling. The Israeli government has choked off the flow of goods and people in and out of Gaza through its own border crossings since Hamas seized control of the Gaza Strip since by winning elections in January 2006 and gained full control of the area in 2007. Egypt’s choice comes as its new leadership takes a decidedly different approach than the one espoused by former dictator/“President” Hosni Mubarak. That new leadership is currently facing massive protests and riots demanding it do a better job of carrying out its new responsibilities and the border issue could be one more flashpoint in the growing conflict…………


- The one-man wolfpack was at it again, dominating a strong field at the Memorial Day weekend box office to give The Hangover Part 2 a decisive win in the earnings battle. Hangover 2 scored $86.5 million for the weekend and after nearly one week in theaters, it has made a resounding $118.1 million. It wrested the top spot from last weekend’s top film, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and fellow newcomer and sequel Kung Fu Panda, which landed in second in its debut weekend by raking in $48 million. Close behind was Pirates, which chugged along with a so-so second weekend, dropping off more than 56 percent but still making $39.3 million to raise its two-week total to $152.9 million - $100 million short of breaking even on its whopping $250 million budget. The real stunner of the weekend was Bridesmaids, which added $16.4 million in its third weekend to raise its three-week total to an impressive $84.9 million and counting - not bad for the unabashed female rip-off of The Hangover. Thor rounded out the top five with $9.4 million and has made $159.7 million for its first month in theaters. The bottom of half of the top 10 was made up of: Fast Five (No. 6 and inching precariously close to the $200 million mark in the U.S. after $6.6 million and now $196 million through five weeks), Midnight in Paris (a distant No. 7 with $1.95 million and just $2.8 million in two weeks of work), Jumping the Broom (No. 8 with $1.9 million and $34.2 million in its first month of release), Something Borrowed (No. 9 and once again last among the wedding-themed films in the top 10 with $1.8 million to make its four-week haul $34.7 million) and Rio (No. 10 with $1.7 million and $134.8 million over seven mostly impressive weeks. Two films made noticeable drops from last week’s top 10, Priest (dropping from No. 5 all the way to No. 11 in just its third week) and Water for Elephants (No. 12)………….


- What is a driver to do when he or she hasn’t won a race or even come close on the professional racing circuit he or she competes on and doesn’t appear to be on the verge of a victory any time soon? If you happen to be a really hot chick like IndyCar driver/GoDaddy.com skank/pitchwoman Danica Patrick you seize the opportunity to take a step up while it’s still available to you. For Patrick, that means a move to the more lucrative world of NASCAR as soon as next season. Her primary sponsor expects her to do just that, with Bob Parsons, CEO and founder of Danica Patrick sponsor GoDaddy.com, saying Sunday he expects Patrick to move full-time to NASCAR next season. "She hasn't told me she will, but I believe she will and we'll be ready," Parsons said. "Here's the fact: She loves [NASCAR], it's much more exciting than IndyCar, with all due respect, and the TV audience for NASCAR is off the hook." Nothing like making those comments while standing near the track at Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Indianapolis 500, but what does anyone expect from a man who runs the sleaziest, lowest-common-denominator ads for his domain registry/web hosting service, pretty much relying on the “take hot chicks in very little clothing and intimate that they’re about to do all sorts of skanky things” approach in every second of every ad? Class is not a part of the GoDaddy.com corporate verbage. Parsons also recalled Patrick’s reaction after her first NASCAR experience, at Daytona last year. "She came up to me right after she did her first NASCAR race [the 2010 Nationwide race at Daytona]," Parson said. "She said to me, 'I absolutely loved it. This is what I was born to do.'" Parsons and his company would obviously love a move to NASCAR because of the increased exposure and he claimed during his soliloquy at IMS on Sunday that fans have told him already that they would “start watching NASCAR to see Danica.” Of course, he also suggested that America loves and roots for Patrick, when the reality is most fans are tired of her act and realize she’s nothing more than auto racing’s dose of T&A. So far, Patrick has made no official statements or announcements about her plans for next season, but it’s not as if she is going to be a threat to win a ton of races no matter where she drives. And oh yeah, auto racing still isn't and never will be an actual sport, so there’s that to consider as well. In other words, she’s not screwing up a legitimate, honest sport and turning it into a running punchline. No matter how much damage she does, it’s still just auto racing………….

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