Saturday, May 21, 2011

Doomsday predictions gone wrong, good news for Arizona stoners and pink music video horses

- Aaaaaaaand another swing and a miss for kooky octogenarian preacher Harold Camping, who has once again failed in predicting the end of the world. Camping’s campaign-o-insanity had been pointing to the world’s end coming Saturday, May 21, 2011, but with the day having come (and in most places gone) and no massive earthquakes or other apocalyptic natural disasters, that prediction has turned out to be every bit as false as the last time this kook predicted the end of the world, back in 1994. In 1992, Camping wrote a book titled "1994?" about the world coming to an end that year and then, as this time around, he supposedly based his predictions on direct quotes and stories from the Bible he then applied to numerological formulas. Why any of that is supposed to give him special insight into something the Bible itself says no man will ever know, no one is sure. Camping’s version of Judgment Day 2011 was to feature a massive earthquake, powerful enough to throw open graves, followed by a slow death for all non-believers over the next five months across the globe. That grand opening was to be followed by the deaths of all but 200 million of Earth’s inhabitants courtesy of earthquakes, plagues, and other calamities until Earth is consumed by a fireball on October 21. The 200 million who were to be saved would supposedly have been raptured out by God. So why May 21, 2011? Because according to Camping’s (certainly false) calculations, the date is exactly 7,000 years since the flood in the biblical story of Noah's Ark. The message of the coming faux-pocalypse went out via broadcasts and websites with Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer who has built a multi-million dollar nonprofit ministry based on his doomsday prediction, as the mouthpiece. Yet as the deadline for the apocalypse passed in the Pacific islands, New Zealand and Australia without incident, the world views him more than ever as some out-of-touch knob who is no different than the leaders of the Heaven’s Gate cult or any other whack-a-doo who has claimed to possess the answer for when the world will end…………


- So far, competition for Apple’s iPad tablet has been something less than inspiring. Offerings have either been too chintzy or not had enough computing firepower, with many looking like nothing more than cheap iPad knockoffs. Perhaps the Eee Pad Transformer will be different by virtue of its versatility: It's a tablet that turns into a laptop. The cost is relatively low, $399, and for that price users will get a tablet computer with a 10-inch screen that is fully usable on its own. For an additional $149, you can purchase a keyboard that connects to the tablet and together, they look and open like a small laptop. With the cheapest iPad checking in at $499, the price points are competitive by the Eee Pad. Its maker, Asustek Computer Inc., is the same Taiwanese company that enjoyed an über-brief run of success as the leader of the "netbook" craze a few years ago by selling small, inexpensive laptops. Fittingly, an Eee Pad Transformer with a keyboard attached is virtually identical to a netbook. The Transformer runs Google Inc.'s Android software, originally designed for smartphones, which means users will at least not have to suffer the indignity of using the world’s worst operating system, Microsoft Windows. That also means the Transformer doesn't run full-blown Windows programs or connect to peripherals such as scanners. It does have noted Android advantages such as longer battery life, programs designed for touch input and a computer that starts up much more quickly. While $149 might sound expensive for the attachable keyboard, the device also boasts a track pad with "mouse buttons," just as you'd find on a laptop and an extra battery that charges the tablet's battery, two USB ports for connecting peripherals and a slot for SD memory cards. With the battery boost, the Transformer has tested in the range of 9-13 hours of use compared with 10 hours for the iPad 2. There are also two cameras with mediocre picture quality that is functional enough for videoconferencing through Google Talk. One common complaint about the Transformer thus far has been frequent crashes when using applications and unless Asustek can fix its software issues, the Eee Pad Transformer seems destined to be just another failed competitor to the current king of the tablet world……………


- So not cool, Arizona government officials, so not cool. When your state made the wise decision to become stoner-friendly (or as some call it, making marijuana available for medicinal purposes), the impression Arizona residents got was one of a free-wheeling, fattie-and-bong-loving state wherein the chronic flowed freely and The Man wasn’t choking out everyone’s high with a mess of bureaucratic red tape. Okay, so maybe it was only the state’s resident potheads who felt that way, but still. Pharmacists envisioned simply adding pot to their shops so patients with chronic diseases such as cancer and AIDS could come in for medical marijuana and learn how to safely use it. Those plans went up in smoke after the Arizona Department of Health Services released official rules for the 125 medical marijuana dispensaries it intends to license statewide. Would-be pot shop owners will be able to apply next month to be among those 125 dispensaries, but many are already voicing concerns that the process will be so prohibitive and financially demanding, many will be unable to apply. It’s not just pharmacy owners who are upset about the stringency of Arizona’s marijuana laws. Legal experts are largely in agreement that the rules are among the strictest in the country regulating the production, sale and use of medical marijuana, which passed in Arizona in November with 51 percent of the vote. The vote made Arizona one of 15 states, along with Washington, D.C., that have approved medical marijuana. Arizona’s rules include the following measures: Pharmacies must employ a licensed physician as a medical director and provide that person's license number to the department, obtain a letter from their local town or city saying that they're in compliance with zoning rules and submit a business plan that shows they will operate as a nonprofit. Oh, and they will also have to prove they've lived in Arizona the past three years, haven't been convicted of a violent crime, know where their dispensary will be located and provide the physical address in their application. Assuming a pharmacy fills all of those qualifications, it can then pay the $5,000 application fee, of which a mere $1,000 of which is refundable if they are turned down. Even with all of these hoops to jump through, the relatively small number of licenses is expected to lead to heated battle to cater to Arizona’s stoner community, er, um, those in need of pain relief. Other states which have legalized medical marijuana have a significantly higher number of dispensaries. In California, pot shops can open across the street from each other and Colorado boasts more than 800 dispensaries. Dispensaries have run into significant trouble in Montana and Washington, where federal authorities have conducted raids as they (allegedly) clamp down on shops (allegedly) operating outside the bounds of the law. In addition to the strict laws placed on those selling marijuana in Arizona, there are also measures in place governing buyers. Patients who want medical marijuana in Arizona must have cancer, HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis C and other specified chronic or debilitating diseases. These patients will be allowed to buy 2 1/2 ounces of marijuana every two weeks or grow a limited number of plants themselves if they live 25 miles from a dispensary. While the health department has approved 2,486 patients, or 93 percent of all applications thus far, I would look for the state’s stoners to find their hands on a fair amount of that legal hippie lettuce, perhaps from the 1,849 applicants who asked to grow their own marijuana. Everyone in the mix - actual patients and Funjun-loving stoners - will have to wait until August for the process to truly begin, as that is when approval for dispensary applicants will begin……………


- Aside from making obnoxiously bad music that blends parts of the worst musical genres in existence, “singer” Pink is known for two things: her color-centric name and having a bad attitude. That attitude was on display Thursday when she flew into a Twitter rage over the sight of horses painted pink for the sake of a music video on a Malibu beach. After seeing the temporarily pink ponies prancing around on the set of Selena Gomez's latest music video, Pink did what anyone with a beef and a smartphone does these days, tweeting out scathing criticism in the hopes of inspiring the masses - as inspired as a rich, snooty, privileged Malibu resident can be inspired to do anything other than wax their BMW 6 Series or play some afternoon tennis at the country club. "If there are any animal activists around Malibu – at Leo Cabrillo State Beach, there are horses being painted for a stupid music video. Shame," Pink tweeted. "Artists should be more aware and responsible for their actions." As with so many people, both famous and non-famous, Pink didn’t actually bother to find out what was going on before tweeting and according to Gomez’s spokesperson, the horses were not in any danger. "It was important to the Production Company, Record Label and Ms. Gomez that no animals were harmed and all proper precautions were taken," Gomez's rep said in a statement. "A non toxic, vegetable based powder paint was applied via an airbrush and removed with water. An official from the Humane Society was on set supervising." Now, if Pink wanted to object to the absurdity of painting an animal pink for the purposes of a music video as opposed to the actual harm she felt was being done to the creature, then she may have had a point. As is, it all adds up to nothing more than another irrelevant case of two talentless, hack pop singers feuding over something that makes absolutely no difference to anyone else in the world but them…………


- Lance Armstrong is becoming increasingly unpopular these days, at least with guys who used to be members of cycling teams he was a part of during his über-successful career. Just one day after the "CBS Evening News" aired an interview with a former member of Armstrong's U.S. Postal Service team, Tyler Hamilton, who said he used PEDs with Armstrong. Another of Armstrong’s former teammates, disgraced and disavowed Tour de France champion Floyd Landis, has previously made similar accusations but without substantial impact. But the tide is seemingly turning with Hamilton’s comments, which were then followed by a report by "60 Minutes" with former Armstrong teammate George Hincapie joining other members of Armstrong's inner circle in claiming the seven-time Tour de France winner used performance-enhancing drugs. Hincapie, who was both a key cog on Armstrong's cycling team and one of his closest friends, reportedly told the grand jury in the ongoing federal investigation into Armstrong’s case that he and Armstrong supplied each other with the endurance-boosting substance EPO and discussed having used another banned substance, testosterone, to prepare for races. Hincapie’s allegations are viewed as especially damaging because he has often been depicted as one of Armstrong's most loyal teammates on the U.S. Postal team and rode with him for all seven Tour victories. Armstrong himself said in an interview last year, Armstrong that Hincapie was "like a brother to me." Brother or not, Hincapie was one of several former Armstrong teammates and employees called to testify before a federal grand jury in Los Angeles investigating doping in cycling. In his CBS interview, Hamilton said he testified for six hours before the panel. Of course, all of the allegations against Armstrong run into a dead end in the form of zero failed drug tests for the most successful cyclist in the history of he sport. Armstrong always points to his perfect record on those tests and the fact that he was, during his career, the most-tested athlete in the world. Pressed for a comment on the latest "60 Minutes" report, Armstrong spokesman Mark Fabiani said: "We have no way of knowing what happened in the grand jury and so can't comment on these anonymously sourced reports." Oh, and as for those reports…….Hincapie has claimed since their airing that he never spoke with anyone associated with “60 Minutes.” He released a statement through his attorney: "I can confirm to you that I never spoke with '60 Minutes.' I have no idea where they got their information. As I've said in the past, I continue to be disappointed that people are talking about the past in cycling instead of the future. As for the substance of anything in the '60 Minutes' story, I cannot comment on anything relating to the ongoing investigation." Armstrong has also launched a website refuting Hamilton’s claims and those of another former teammate, Frankie Andreu, who has admitted to taking PEDs and accused Armstrong of doing the same. The site openly refutes those claims and calls into question the credibility of Andreu, Hamilton and Landis. Armstrong also posted a letter addressed to CBS News, calling the "60 Minutes" reporting "disgraceful journalism." Still, this story is a long way from over and is getting substantially uglier by the day…………

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