Friday, January 01, 2010

Me vs. the Russian government, two installments of "Athletes with Guns" and the debacle that is Susan Boyle

- I have major problems with the Russian government; that’s no secret. I’m funny that way; I hate Communists and rail against their evil regimes any chance I get. But the actions of Moscow police on New Year’s Eve are just freaking deplorable. A group of 200 social dissidents were looking to ring in the new year with an anti-government protest – nothing major, no looting, burning or bombing – and instead of letting them have their say, police detained about 40 people out of more than 200 who arrived for the protest. Alexander Averin, activist with The Other Russia opposition group, detailed the arrests, which took place in a downtown square just hours before the new year. Police even arrested an old lady, 82-year-old Lyudmila Alexeyeva, a veteran human rights activist and head of another activist group. Author-turned-opposition figure Eduard Limonov was also arrested, so perhaps police were merely looking for name value in their apprehensions. You could kind of see this coming, as the activists announced plans to hold an opposition demonstration well in advance and the Moscow mayor's office refused to authorize it. Being the good anti-establishment people they are, the activists went ahead with the rally and labeled it "a public New Year celebration." In true Commie police fashion, the arresting officers used the occasion to rough a few people up and land a few unnecessary blows. "The police didn't beat anybody with truncheons, but they handled the protesters quite roughly," Averin said. Woah, big ups for not busting out the truncheons, Moscow police! Alexeyeva also spoke briefly about the incident as she and other detained protesters were being transported to a local police precinct. "We all assembled around a New Year fir tree that we put there. This wasn't a political protest and we didn't violate public order," she explained. Putting that resolve together with a recent proclamation by the Moscow police that they would not allow an unsanctioned demonstration to take place and would do everything under the law to stop it, this debacle was a given. The excessive force was equally predictable and completely unnecessary, but it’s what you expect in a Commie nation. I would like to take this opportunity to familiarize you with The Other Russia, one of my favorite band of radicals advocating the overthrow of their oppressive government. This merry band of mischief makers doubles as a human rights activism group and has been attempting to stage their protests on the 31st day of each month that has 31 days. Why, you ask? Well, it’s in symbolic support of Article 31 of the Russian Constitution which guarantees the freedom of assembly. Great concept, a solid motive and a clear determination to stick with it no matter what – I like it. Even though the Moscow mayor's office has always denied the group a permission to gather, they don’t give a f*ck. Keep up the great work, Russian opposition groups, and keep sticking it to The Man………

- This story is equal parts surreal and very, very scary. Guns and pro athletes are a frequent marriage these days, whether it’s NBA players firing off rounds outside a strip club, college football players robbing people at gas stations brandishing guns or NFL players shooting themselves in the legs at Manhattan night clubs because their unlicensed guns slip from the waistband of their sweatpants and they inadvertently pull the trigger trying to catch their falling 9mm. All of those stories really happened, but nothing is as bizarre and frightening as the tale involving Washington Wizards teammates Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton. The two men allegedly drew guns on each other during a Christmas Eve locker room argument over a gambling debt. Merry Freaking Christmas, eh? Apparently Arenas had a gambling debt he refused to pay and rather than allow Agent Zero to stiff him any longer, Crittenton decided that pulling out his piece in a locker room full of people was the best solution. Actually, it is being reported that Arenas was the first to draw his weapon after an angry Crittenton confronted him after a game. Arenas drew on Crittenton, who then also grabbed for a gun. The story has credence because just last week, the Wizards and Arenas himself acknowledged that he had stored unloaded firearms in a container in his locker. As the NBA looked into that situation, it unearthed news of the confrontation between Arenas and Crittenton was revealed. It supposedly happened on the very day the Wizards had issued a statement addressing Arenas' storage of unloaded firearms in a container in his locker at the arena and that the NBA was looking into the situation. Washington, D.C. police are also involved and they too were pulled in when they began investigating a report that weapons were found inside a locker room at the Verizon Center. The feds are a part of the equation as well, with Ben Friedman, a spokesman for the U.S. Attorney's Office in Washington, D.C., stating that "we're working with the Metropolitan Police Department on the investigation." Even the NBA players’ association, which works to defend the rights of players pretty much no matter what kind of bogus sh*t they pull, is taken aback by this situation. "This is unprecedented in the history of sports," Billy Hunter, executive director of the NBA players' association, admitted. "I've never heard of players pulling guns on each other in a locker room." I haven’t either, but it’s freaking unreal from where I sit. Can’t you just see these guys, unwinding in the locker room after some intense on-court action, everyone flipping on their phones, texting, Twittering and making plans…..and there’s Crittenton, simmering because he looks over at Arenas, the team’s highest-paid player and making more than $20 million this season, and sees a guy who won't pay a gambling debt of a few thousand dollars. The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. He confronts Arenas for the umpteenth time, but Arenas blows him off just like he always has. Crittenton becomes angrier and gets more and more belligerent, finally pushing Arenas too far. Agent Zero snaps and pulls out his gun, horrifying coaches, teammates and everyone else in the locker room. He’s waving his weapon at Crittenton and everyone is thinking a) “I’m going to die” and b) this cannot possibly get any worse. Wrong on both counts, because no one died AND things did get worse when Crittenton went back to his locker and pulled out a gun of his own. Seriously, how many Wizards come to games and practices packing heat? Is this an NBA team or a pickup game at Rucker Park? What exactly does one need to protect himself from in an NBA locker room (assuming you don’t have a gun-wielding teammate looking to shoot you, of course)? However, Arenas has denied pulling a gun on Crittenton and we still have to see how this turns out and what is true in the story. Having said that, if these two really did pull guns on one another, they both need to be suspended for 20 games minimum, without pay, because you cannot be pulling that kind of crap, ever……………


- It was a sad day on New Year’s Eve in New York City. The legendary New York restaurant Tavern on the Green closed its doors early Friday after serving its last supper and hosting a New Year's Eve party. The famous eatery on the western edge of Central Park will undergo major renovations under a new operator and there is a chance that it retain its famous name, but many longtime patrons still viewed the day as the end of an era. Customers from as far away as Florida and Virginia came on the day for one final meal at the Tavern. It was also the last day for Rodney Shephard, the restaurant's maitre d' for the past 23 years. The final event welcomed in 1,500 guests for a final meal, some 73 years after the restaurant served its first meal in 1936. Then-Mayor Fiorello La Guardia presided over its opening and things were going well for a time, but the restaurant almost died in 1974, when the operator slapped shutters the "rustic little money-losing pub," as one food writer Eric Asimov described it. It was at that point Warner LeRoy took over the Tavern's lease and invested $10 million in renovations. LeRoy built on two rooms to the existing four and installed dozens of copper and brass chandeliers, Tiffany-style stained glass, bull's-eye glass mirrors and a 167-foot mural depicting Central Park – one of the city’s great landmarks and my favorite place in all of Manhattan. Tavern on the Green reopened in 1976 to rave reviews and LeRoy’s exuberant personality helped revive business. The restaurant became the “it” place for anniversaries, birthdays and family affairs and consistently served more than 500,000 people a year -- an average of 1,400 dinners a night. Tourists visiting the city put the Tavern on their must-do lists and even though food critics failed to embrace the eatery, diners didn’t seem to care. It was a truly unique New York institution, just like legendary punk rock club CBGB’S, which was forced to close in 2006 because of a rent dispute. Seeing such a historic piece of music history go by the wayside and disappear from the Bowery landscape was sad, just as it is seeing Tavern on the Green go away. But the LeRoy family was forced to file for bankruptcy in 2009 after losing a bidding war for the lease to another proprietor, Dean Poll, who also owns the Boathouse Restaurant in Central Park. The restaurant’s contents will be auctioned off by Guernsey's auction house and Poll is expected to invest $25 million in renovations as part of the 20-year license to operate the restaurant. That investment is expected to include near-total replacements of the kitchen and electrical and plumbing systems and the incorporation of green building technology, as well as replacing. Whether all of that can be accomplished while keeping the vibe and atmosphere the same remains to be seen. The renovations will take place over the next four years and will be conducted in phases so the restaurant can remain open. Poll seems to believe that the new incarnation of Tavern on the Green will become just as much an NYC staple as the old version. Still to be resolved is the name of the restaurant, which the current management estimates is valued at $19 million. The issue is that the LeRoy family trademarked the name in 1981. U.S. District Court Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum is expected to rule on the issue in January. I do hope that Poll is able to work out a deal to acquire the name, so at least a part of the Tavern on the Green can live on…………


- That overweight, socially stunted freak Susan Boyle may have “dreamed a dream,” but I’m living a freaking nightmare because of her. Not only did she take the truly detestable path of earning her shot in music via reality show (just offensive to the nth degree), not only is she FAT and ugly beyond description, but for some odd reason, the music-buying public is snapping up her crap-tacular pop album like NBA stars snap up an extra joint left lying around. Her I Dreamed a Dream sold another 510,000 copies in its fifth week, making it No. 1 on the Billboard 200 yet again. The Billboard angle isn't a huge problem for me because I am on record as saying that any and all Billboard lists and rankings are as irrelevant and unimportant as possible. What I do have a beef with is that three million idiots (or maybe the same 1.5 million idiots twice each) have purchased this pile of musical sh*t. That puts the album in heated competition with another equally awful album, Taylor Swift’s Fearless, as the year’s best seller. Wow, a crappy reality show karaoke singer and her garbage pop music against an overrated country/pop twanger and her equally offensive tunes. Quite a race there, everyone. I would ask why you insist on buying albums that absolutely suck while lesser-known, much better albums sell far fewer copies, but I know why. People are sheep and they are lazy, meaning they will a) follow the crowd and buy what everyone else is buying and b) not bother to devote any time or effort to going beyond the mainstream, popular albums of the time and dig through the crap to find the albums that are actually worth their time. As if the two artists I just referenced weren’t enough, I can also point to the fact that literally one of the five worst music artists I have ever come across, the abysmal Mary J. Blige, secured the No. 2 position with 330,000 copies sold of her new Stronger With Each Tear. I could tell all of the music fans out there how ashamed I am of them at this point, but I believe I’ve made that perfectly clear by now and although a lot of you aren’t sharp enough to pick up on my subtle hints, I’m electing to keep moving……………


- It’s a rare day when you can talk about two multi-player gun stories, so I have to take the chances when they come. Our first installment of athletes with guns today came from the NBA, but this next story comes from the college ranks. It involves four University of Tennessee basketball players who decided that getting high and driving around with a gun, an open container of alcohol and a bag of weed right before conference play began was a good idea. Meet starting senior forward Tyler Smith, junior point guard Melvin Goins, junior center Brian Williams and sophomore guard Cameron Tatum. These four geniuses were charged with gun possession and other counts after a Friday traffic stop in Knoxville. The Knoxville Police Department said the four players were arrested during a traffic stop for speeding near Tennessee's campus. When officers pulled them over and approached the vehicle, they found the following three things inside a car reeking of the hippie lettuce: a handgun with an altered serial number, a bag of marijuana and an open container of alcohol. As Carl Lewis would say, “Uh-oh!” Fortunately for the players, the officers could not determine whether any of them were under the influence of the chronic, even though its stench permeated every inch of the vehicle’s interior. The four players were hit with a variety of charges, but all four are in deep sh*t. Tatum was charged with unlawful possession of a firearm and having an open container of alcohol. Smith was charged with unlawful possession of a firearm and possession of a firearm with an altered serial number, which is a felony. Goins and Williams both face gun and drug possession charges. Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl, a colorful personality in his own right, release a written on the incident. "We are still gathering information. Once the appropriate authorities have provided us with all of the facts, we will act accordingly," Pearl said in the statement. In other words, this is very public, very embarrassing and we’ll suspend these guys as long as we have to in order to make it appear that we’re taking this seriously. But we’ll definitely have them back for the postseason, count on it. Yet another reason why I love college basketball………….

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