- Uh-oh, the West is in big trouble now. Iranian Foreign Minister Manounchehr Mottaki has thrown down the freaking gauntlet. Mottaki on Saturday issued an ultimatum to the West: Renegotiate the United Nations-backed deal on Iran's nuclear program, or Iran will enrich nuclear fuel on its own. According to this tool, the West has until the end of this month to accept a counter deal proposed by Iran. Sadly, Mottaki did not spell out the details of Iran's offer, although I’m sure they are hilariously absurd. The “offer” will surely be rejected, meaning Iran will then have to man up and honor its threat to "officially declare" that it will produce enriched fuel at 20 percent. Gotta love Iran blowing right past a year-end deadline to accept a deal offered in October by the five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council to send most of its low-enriched uranium abroad for conversion into fuel for a medical reactor in Tehran and now expects everyone to forget that and accept the shitty deal they are offering. Without knowing the details of Iran’s offer, let’s just say it’s a safe bet it does not include adhering to the Atomic Energy Agency’s (IAEA), proposal that Iran send low-enriched uranium abroad for processing. In response to that idea, Mottaki said last month the country was prepared to give up some 400 kilograms of 3.5 percent enriched uranium in exchange for 20 percent enriched fuel that would power the reactor used in cancer research. Word on the street in Iran is that the reactor will soon run out of fuel, thus the new ultimatum. As for the IAEA proposal, Iran won’t accept it because dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Co. are too busy killing, beating and imprisoning protestors……just kidding. They are doing those things on a daily basis, but they are rejecting the IAEA deal with they want "concrete guarantees" that its fuel will be returned. The underlying motive for the deal is reducing the amount of material Iran has to make a nuclear bomb, which is exactly what the United States and some of its allies – especially Israel - fear Iran's goal is. Actually, everyone outside of Iran and whose head is not currently residing up his or her ass believes that and doesn’t buy Tehran’s lame-tastic excuse that its nuclear program is only for peaceful purposes. And so the eternal diplomatic dance rages on…………
- Call it the box office power of James Cameron, point to its inflated 3-D ticket prices, but you can’t argue the earning ability of "Avatar." The animated sci-fi flick opus grossed $68.3 million over New Years weekend, a miniscule 10 percent drop from Christmas weekend for a $352.1 million domestic total. That’s enough to elevate it to all-time status, as in the biggest third weekend in the U.S. ever, besting the $45 million total of 2002's "Spider-Man." Even more impressive, "Avatar" has surpassed $1 billion in the global box office in just 17 days. One of last year’s top films, “The Dark Knight", pretty much its entire theatrical run to reach that milestone. A significant chunk of “Avatar’s” take comes from from IMAX theaters, whose inflated prices fetched $66.4 million for the film, which is a record for the IMAX format. With “Avatar” first on the weekend earnings list, "Sherlock Holmes" remained second with $38.4 million, raising its cumulative total to $140 million. From there, it was on to more animated fun in the form of "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel," which joked its way to $36.6 million, dropping just 25 percent for $157 million total and third place. The worst movie anywhere near the top of the list was once again the crap-tacular "It's Complicated" which fell 15 percent for a total of $18.7 million, enough for fourth place. How this abortion of a movie has earned $59.1 million total and positive reviews from anyone, I’ll never know. Seeing Alec Baldwin in a near-nude scene is something best described as scarring and revolting, to say the least. One movie that bucked the trend of gradually declining revenues with each successive week in theaters was "The Blind Side," which finished in fifth place and actually improved upon its total last week, rising 8 percent for $12.7 million and $209.1 million total. The next two spots on the list were filled by "Up in the Air," which stayed steady with $11.3 million, and Disney’s "The Princess and the Frog," which made $10 million and has now earned $86 million total. It was another bomb of a weekend for the lame-tastic comedy "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" (also critically panned here first), which brought in a $5.2 million for a pathetic $25.6 million total. Overall, the top ten box office was up 70 percent from last year, when "Marley and Me" led the way. I have to admit, this is one of the more disappointing offerings that Hollywood has given us in some time and not a great way to kick off the new year…………
- We may have found an ideal place to ship all of our outer space-loving dorks, er, for adventurous people to live if and when we get around to living on the moon. For some time, the thought has been that building a home near a moon crater or a lunar was the best option. Now, so-called moon colonists (i.e. losers) believe they may have a much better chance of survival if they just lived in a hole (Lord knows that’s where I’d like to see them placed). Leading the charge on this paradigm shift is an international team of scientists who say they've discovered a protected lunar "lava tube" -- a deep, giant hole -- that might be well suited for a moon colony or a lunar base. This giant hole is located in prime moon real estate, which everyone knows is the volcanic Marius Hills region on the moon's near side. It is a spacious 213 feet wide and is estimated to be more than 260 feet deep, which sounds pretty darn luxurious – for a moon dork. Those figures were provided in findings published in Geophysical Research Letters, a journal of the American Geophysical Union. Scientists/moon realtors say the hole’s key selling feature is that its interior is protected from the moon's harsh temperatures and meteorite strikes by a thin sheet of lava. That’s enough for them to advocate in-depth research of the hole and recommend it as an ideal candidate for possible inhabitation. "Lunar lava tubes are a potentially important location for a future lunar base, whether for local exploration and development, or as an outpost to serve exploration beyond the Moon," writes the team, led by Junichi Haruyama, a senior researcher with the Japanese space agency JAXA. "Any intact lava tube could serve as a shelter from the severe environment of the lunar surface, with its meteorite impacts, high-energy UV radiation and energetic particles, and extreme diurnal temperature variations." This isn't the first time a lava tube has been discovered on the moon, say the new hole is different because of its lava shield and because it does not appear to be prone to collapse. We have lava tubes here on Earth as well, so any aspiring moon-dwelling dorks can go find one of them in live in it for a few years just to try out the experience. Trust me, you won't be missed. The aforementioned new lava tube on the moon was discovered by scientists using high-resolution images from a Japanese moon orbiter called SELENE. With NASA is reportedly working on plans to return to the moon by 2020 and to set up a temporary lunar colony by 2025 as part of the Constellation Program, this is noteworthy news. Funding for the project is still uncertain, but we just might be one step closer to seeing this (nerdy) dream come to fruition…………
- You’ll have to give me a little room here to expound upon why I’m so pissed at someone named Christine Dougherty and a fast food chain that I never, ever eat at. For those of you who don’t spend much time watching television and live under a pop culture rock, Dougherty is Taco Bell’s Jared Fogle ripoff. Fogle, of course, is the ubiquitous dude who lost a couple hundred pounds slamming Subway sandwiches as the staple of his diet. Dougherty’s weight loss isn't as impressive, but she claims to have lost 54 pounds eating the crap that Taco Bell passes off as Mexican food. And yes, Taco Bell attempting to pass itself off as a healthy eating option offends me. They claim to have a new menu of items with nine grams of fat or less that you can snare in a moment or two from their drive-through window. Not buying it, but even if I did, you’re telling me that when people want to eat healthy, their first thought should not be to have a salad, buy some chicken or turkey from the deli and put it on some wheat bread or something along those lines? Probably the best illustration of my point is a comment Dougherty made in one of Taco Bell’s new TV spots, where in she explains that she didn’t want to give up fast food but also didn’t want to be a FAT ass. “I had to be realistic,” she stated. In other words, she didn’t have the willpower to free herself from the grasp of one of the unhealthiest restaurant chains around, but she still wanted the benefits of healthy living and eating. Look, Christine and T. Bell, I realize how well Jared’s add campaign worked for Subway. You watched that unfold, you saw your own profits dwindle and market research told you that people viewed your food as unhealthy (and not even real food, if you ask the right people), so you are attempting to go the opposite direction. I’m fine with that – to a degree – but you attempting to position yourself as this newfound dietary aid and a means to a better physique is laughable at best. If a person is truly serious about losing weight, they won't be eating at Taco Bell at all. At first I was mildly amused by this new direction for Taco Bell, but the more I see and hear it, the angrier it makes me and the more I feel the need to lash out. So to Christine and her friends at the champion of faux-Mexican fast food, I say this: No one is buying what you’re selling and you need to stop selling it. Embrace what you know and who you are, stay true to that and let the ship steer itself……….
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