- How have the New York Jets gone from the best and most interesting show in the NFL to the most tired, clichéd and unimaginative teams in all of professional sports? Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago we were watching head coach Rex Ryan drop f-bombs on HBO’s Hard Knocks and debating whether or not Darrelle Revis’ holdout would crippled the team’s Super Bowl chances? Throw in a 9-2 start to the season and you’d think that the Jets would still be a captivating watch…..and they were, right up to the point when Ryan decided that the best way to put an embarrassing 45-3 Monday Night Football loss to New England was to go with the single most tired, clichéd motivational ploy ever…..the ceremonial burying of the game ball. As the Jets gathered for their usual Wednesday morning team meeting, Ryan revealed that he had something different planned for them. Instead of gathering in the auditorium at the team’s practice facility, Ryan brought his team outside for some fresh air. Everyone meandered outside at 8:45 a.m. ET, moseying into 30-degree temperatures that many of them - including cornerback Antonio Cromartie, who was wearing flip-flops - were ill-equipped to brave. No one knew exactly what was going on, but receiver Santonio Holmes, figuring Ryan was up to a motivational ploy, told a teammate, "Something good is going to come out of this.” Either something good or something ridiculous, pathetic and weak. Revis later said that players were told that they were headed to "a funeral for a football." Ryan gathered his players around a hole in the ground, just off a grass practice field, and dropped the game ball from Monday night's embarrassing 45-3 loss into the hole. The idea, of course, as syrupy and cheesy as it is, was to “bury” the memory of their most lopsided defeat in nearly a quarter century. Heck, Ryan and his players even filled in the hole and covered it over with patches of torn-up sod, although they didn’t take the final tacky step of dropping a tombstone on the grave. Why not? If you’ve gone that far, you might as well go all the way. Making matters worse, Revis said it might have been Ryan's best motivational tactic ever. "I've never seen a coach do that," Revis said. "We all got the point. Usually, in the past, you hear a coach say, 'Let's bury this' and you have to visualize it. When you actually see it, you're like, 'Wow, this is serious.'" While Revis and his teammates may never have seen the tactic, Patriots coach Bill Belichick also did something similar after a loss to the Miami Dolphins in 2001 and given the trite, unimaginative nature of the maneuver, I’m guessing that many coaches at the high school and college levels have done the same thing. Next time, just watch the game tape of you getting your butt kicked and draw motivation from that………
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! The college students of England are mad as hell and they aren’t going to take it anymore, which apparently means attacking a butt-ugly price who may actually die before the woman he’s supposed to inherit the throne from. The debate over a plan to raise the existing cap on tuition rates charged by universities from £3,000 to £9,000 - nearly $10,000 increase from roughly $4,700 to $14,000 in U.S. dollars - has bee raging on in Parliament for weeks. The House of Commons approved the plan in a 323-302 vote Thursday and before the day was over, protesters enraged by the vote attacked a car carrying Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of York. These rage-aholics broke a window and tossed paint on the car, although they were unable to harm either royal family member. The fact that the measure still must be approved by the House of Lords and signed by the queen before it can become law clearly didn’t faze the protestors, who staged an all-day protest by thousands. These dissidents spent the day outside Parliament chanting, yelling, holding signs and looking for a fight. They probably would have fought anyone who tried to argue that the tuition cap hike is needed to cut the government's massive deficit. Few issues have sparked more or angrier protests anywhere in the world these past few months than the tuition issue, which makes it one of my favorite societal issues in a long time. For a time, it seemed that Thursday’s protest would remain peaceful, but thankfully things became more tense with the winding down of debate in the House of Commons. By late afternoon, you had police on horseback clashing with angry protestors, who threw sticks and set off fireworks. After the vote, riot police were called out to quell disturbances in Trafalgar Square, where some brave soul climbed a Christmas tree and set it on fire. Big ups to everyone who was a part of this madness, completely ignoring pleas from all sides to keep the demonstrations from getting out of hand. Riot on, y’all, riot on………
- Call me suspicious, but I have a hard time believing that loud music coming from a place called Dreamers Cabaret shortly before 1 a.m. on a Saturday night/Sunday morning would be anything questionable or shady. Maybe I just don’t know Westbrook, Me. as well as I should, but if the guy on the scene filling in for the club’s owner says that the men at the club were plumbers working on emergency repairs and that the scantily women were just bringing them coffee, then I believe him. My man Adam Goodwin would not lie about that sort of thing, not if the club was shut down a day after it opened in September after the Westbrook code enforcement officers pulled its certificate of occupancy. Apparently city officials said they had no idea the owner intended to operate a strip club, although that would seem like an important detail to gloss over. The owner of the club, Lawrence Ferrante, was not on hand when police showed up, but I doubt he could have given any more convincing of an explanation for why there was a disco ball spinning and night club lighting on than Goodwin gave. Who doesn’t throw on club music, lighting and a disco ball to do emergency plumbing repairs? Lighting is vastly overrated when you’re working on plumbing and everyone knows that! But the cops didn’t buy Goodwin’s explanation and city inspectors were called to the club. After speaking with his attorney, Goodwin gave his explanation, but police were unable to identify any licensed plumbers or any evidence of repair work being done. Literally, it sounds like a poorly written scene from a cop movie or an episode of CSI. Police did arrest a woman at the club, Lacreshia Edgerly, 27, on an outstanding warrant on charges of negotiating a worthless instrument. But again, I refuse to believe that a strip club would dare to spit in the face of the law after Westbrook's Zoning Board of Appeals rejected the appeal of Dreamers Cabaret to have its certificate of occupancy reinstated. I sincerely believe that Ferrante will take the proper legal steps and appeal the decision to the Maine Superior Court rather than attempt to circumvent the law by keeping his club open without the proper permits………
- A familiar sight is about to change, residents of and visitors to New York City. Not right away, but in the years ahead you may begin to see the city’s familiar yellow taxes take on a new look. City officials are looking for the taxi cab of the future (like Dippin’ Dots have been the f’ing ice cream of the future for the past 20 years?) and there are some impressive competitors. Perhaps none more so than a glass-roofed, eco-friendly vehicle designed by Turkish automaker Karsan. This unique whip is among the three finalists in New York City's search for a taxicab for the future. New York launched the "Taxi of Tomorrow" the exclusive New York City taxi for at least 10 years, according to city officials. What makes Karsan's V1 unique is that it is the only model that was designed from scratch for the contest. Turkey doesn’t exactly have an illustrious history when it comes to manufacturing cars, so winning the contest would obviously be a huge step forward. Karsan does make vehicles for Hyundai, Peugeot, Citroen and Renault, but even that is a relatively unknown fact outside of Turkey. "Having a vehicle designed and built in Turkey being used as a New York taxi would be a very strong branding opportunity for the Turkish automotive industry," said Jan Nahum, executive director of Karsan. "It's an incredible source of pride and passion for us. New York is probably the most popular and visible city in the world, and its iconic yellow taxis are seen in almost every picture." Making its bid that much better, Karsan has made the V1 wheelchair accessible, spacious enough to hold five passengers and a stroller, and have a glass roof to give passengers a view of New York's many landmarks. Additionally, it would be versatile enough to hold a gasoline, compressed natural gas or electric engine, depending on which technology is the greenest at any time. Whichever car maker wins the "Taxi of Tomorrow" contest will have the first ever custom-built New York taxi. Right now, the city’s taxicab fleet consists of 13,000 licensed taxicabs, with 16 different vehicles from nine manufacturers. The city will announce the winning proposal early next year and the first new vehicles are expected to be on the road in 2014……….
- The fact that actor Wesley Snipes reported to a medium-security Pennsylvania prison Thursday to begin a three-year sentence for failing to file tax returns proves one universal truth in these here United States while soundly shooting down another such truth. Snips being incarcerated in McKean Federal Correctional Institution in Lewis Run on misdemeanor convictions for not filing tax returns in 1999, 2000 and 2001 proves that you can get away with plenty of crimes in this country - murder (O.J. Simpson), assault (the police officers who beat Rodney King), etc. - but if you try to cheat the government out of tax revenues, you are going to jail and going there for a long, long time. However, Snipes sporting an orange jumpsuit and sleeping in an 8x10 cell debunks the long-held notion that famous people in this country don’t go to jail. Even though Snipes was acquitted of felony charges, the misdemeanors were enough to send him away for three years. His attorney is appealing the convictions, but Snipes doesn’t seem to have much reason to still be holding the hope he had when he appear on CNN's "Larry King Live" Tuesday night for an interview and said, "We still have prayers out there. We still believe in miracles. So don't send me up the river yet.” Still, he admitted that he was uneasy about losing his freedom if his appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court fails. "I think any man would be nervous if his liberty is at stake," Snipes said. "I'm disappointed that the system seems not to be working for me in this situation." Hmm…..if you wanted the system to work for you, then perhaps you should have used some of the $40 million you earned since 1999 but didn’t file any tax returns on. Oh, and it might have helped had you not (allegedly) been involved in a tax resisters group, as prosecutors alleged. Snipes’ feeble defense was to deny any involvement with the aforementioned group and blame his failure on his advisers. "This is another thing that has been misreported: It has been framed that I was a conspirator and that I was an architect in a scheme by an organization that has been characterized as tax protesters," Snipes said. "The press hasn't reported that I was a client of people who I trusted (who) had knowledge and expertise in the areas of tax law that would protect my interests." Sorry Wes, but the government places the ultimate responsibility for paying your taxes on you, not one those working for you. Just be thankful that you were only convicted on the misdemeanor charges against you and not one the more serious felony charges of tax fraud and conspiracy. Still, three years is a significant stretch of time even though it will ultimately be whittled down with good behavior, no doubt. So stop complaining that prosecutors singled you out, stop alleging that your case was portrayed unfairly in the media and suck it up. Serve your sentence, pay the back taxes you owe and once you are released, pay them every year with the rest of us……….
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
The private race to space, a federal judge impeached and convicted and Times Square tools
- Booyah! How long has it been since we’ve had a good federal judge impeachment? Too long, that’s how long. So big ups to Federal Judge G. Thomas Porteous of Louisiana and the U.S. Senate for reversing that trend when the Senate found Porteous guilty on four articles of impeachment on Wednesday, which will remove him from the federal bench. While accepting kick-backs and bribes might not be the most imaginative way for a judge to break the law, lying to the Senate and FBI is pretty fresh and ballsy on the part of a federal judge. And while it might seem like a dark day when one is indicted and removed from a job that came with a lifetime appointment, the reality of the situation is that Porteous is a history-maker, becoming just the eighth federal judge in the nation's history to be impeached and convicted. As part of his conviction, the 63-year-old Porteous is also "forever disqualified to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States," Sen. Daniel Inouye said during Wednesday's Senate hearing. That add-on motion was adopted by a vote of 94 to 2. The guilty verdict put an end to a saga that had dragged on since March, when the House of Representatives voted unanimously to impeach Porteous on corruption charges. "Our investigation found that Judge Porteous participated in a pattern of corrupt conduct for years," stated U.S. Rep. Adam Schiff, D-California, chairman of the House Judiciary Committee Task Force on Judicial Impeachment. Porteous and his lawyer, Richard W. Westling, had hoped that the Justice Department’s decision not to prosecute because it did not have credible evidence would lead to the House also dropping the case. "Unfortunately, the House has decided to disregard the Justice Department's decision and to move forward with impeachment," Westling lamented at the time. "As a result, we will now turn to the Senate to seek a full and fair hearing of all of the evidence." That full fair hearing has taken place and the end result is Porteous being removed from the bench after a 16-year run. He was appointed in 1994 and actually has not worked as a judge since he was suspended with pay in the fall of 2008. During the time frame between his suspension and trial by the Senate, Porteous nearly had his chance at history ripped when the House impeached Judge Samuel B. Kent of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Texas last year. However, Kent resigned after being impeached on charges of sexual assault, obstructing and impeding an official proceeding and making false and misleading statements and as such, there was no need for the Senate to convict and remove him from office. Thankfully, my man G. Thomas Porteous stepped up to fill that void………
- Aaaaaand allow the angry ranting to commence. Every time Philadelphia Eagles quarterback is given an honor or recognized in any way from here to the end of his career most likely, there will be angry animal lovers who decry the recognition as a sign of all that is wrong and evil in this world. That’ll happen when you spend 18 months in prison for running a dogfighting and gambling operation, but that doesn’t mean C-list musicians like E Street band guitarist Nils Lofgren should be penning open letters to the public and members of the media, trying to re-open wounds that a) were beginning to heal and b) were so far in the past that most of us would need to break out our telescopes to see them. Lofgren isn’t the only kook making that sort of gesture and you can be certain that more will follow his lead now that the NFL has revealed that Vick leads Pro Bowl voting, with 729,838 fan votes, 38,692 more than second-place Peyton Manning. Manning had the lead two weeks ago when the last results announcement was made, but he’s thrown eight interceptions in the past two games while Vick has continued to soar. Despite being a backup to start the season, Vick has led the Eagles to first place in the NFC East, accounting for 21 total touchdowns and throwing just two interceptions. Most fans (and especially fantasy football dorks) have forgiven or simply forgotten his dark past because they only value what he can do on the field. Others still despise his actions but realize that once someone has paid the price for their crime, they should be allowed to move forward and re-enter society just like a normal person. For these three groups, voting for Vick isn’t a huge deal. For everyone else…….get ready for some angry rants. Fan voting is just one component of the Pro Bowl selection process, although it is a virtual certainty that players and coaches, whose votes make up the other two-thirds of the equation, will select Vick to play in the game. Now it’s up to you to determine if you believe that to be a good thing or a bad thing………
- Umm, I don’t know how to put this China, so I’ll say it as directly as possible: You can't just make up your own prizes and awards when you don’t like how various groups and organizations around the world distribute theirs. While you may not like the Norwegian Nobel committee's choice of imprisoned Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo as this year's Nobel Peace Prize, you cannot simply create your own and pretend that it’s legit. Liu Xiaobo is this year’s laureate according to the Nobel committee and you concocting the Confucius Peace Prize -- which comes with an award of $15,000 -- and pretend that it’s the same thing. Sure, Confucius is a major figure in Chinese history, but dropping his name on the award doesn’t make it legitimate either. "China is a great nation that has been influenced by the Confucian concept of peace for a long time," said Tan Changliu, chairman of the awards committee. "We want to promote world peace from an Eastern perspective. Europe is full of small countries that had fought each other for centuries. We don't want to see people who don't understand peace to ruin the concept." Wow, that’s rich. Playing the “nations that have fought each other and don’t understand peace” is quite the concept for a nation that has seen its share of wars over the years. Do the words Tiananmen Square mean anything to y’all? Does the image of a tank about to run over a protestor scream peace to you? Wanting to promote an ancient sage's philosophy is one thing, but don’t try to sell us on the fact that the Confucius Peace Prize is anything other that a hackneyed attempt to rip off the Nobel Peace Prize. You’re throwing this thing together so you can award it a day before the Nobel committee honors Liu in Oslo. Tan refused to give any details about his shadowy little cabal of award-givers, saying only that the committee is a non-government organization. Uh-huh, sure it’s not. Nothing in China is non-government, period. So slam together your five-person committee and give it out to whatever government sycophant you can find on short notice. But props for including Nelson Mandela and Bill Gates on the list, just to make it look legitimate. Just know that this charade isn’t going to cause anyone to forget that Liu is currently serving an 11-year sentence for "inciting subversion" and that you have wrongly branded him as a common criminal and the award as a Western plot against China. Here’s hoping that this sinister “plot” does exactly what the Chinese government fears it will do, namely create 1.3 billion "dissidents" in China. Oh, and thanks for the hilarity of the Confucius Peace Prize’s creators suggesting that it will promote China’s view on human rights to the rest of the world. As if China has a view on human rights other than the one from high above as it tramples them underfoot………
- Thanks so much, MTV, for turning New Year’s Eve into what is guaranteed to be the biggest tool-fest of both this and next year. If I’m mentioning the words tool and MTV in the same sentence, it can only mean that…..wait for it…..yup, the Jersey Shore crew is involved and sure enough, they will be front and center as MTV looks to usurp Times Square tradition by dropping its own ball this year. Of course, one could argue that MTV drops the ball on a daily basis with its never-ending slew of low-rent, terrible reality shows about spoiled girls getting lavish 16th birthday parties, teen skanks getting knocked up and raising their kids in homes sure to foster mentally scarred futures and talentless idiots living in beach houses in New Jersey. But on New Year’s Eve, there will be an actual ball dropping courtesy of MTV and inside that ball will be none other than Jersey Shore‘s Snooki. Just like the original ball dropping in Times Square, the Snooki ball will also descend at midnight to ring in the new year. Other members of the Jersey Shore cast will also be on hand for MTV’s New Year’s Bash special with host Whitney Cummings — Pauly D will DJ — and together, these half-wits (probably giving them too much credit there) will attempt to lead the crowd in the largest collective fist-pump the world has ever witnessed. And somewhere, the soul of every person watching that broadcast anywhere in the world will die just a little bit……..
- At long last, the first commercially-operated space flight has taken off and with it, the possibility of a new era in the world of space travel. SpaceX's Falcon 9 rocket lifted off from Kennedy Space Center at 10:43 a.m. ET and took what could be a significant step toward commercial space travel. If the Falcon 9 is able to execute a successful re-entry, it could pave the way for commercial space ventures that could eventually transport astronauts and cargo to the International Space Station. Of course, NASA is having much of its funding ripped by the federal government, so the space agency is set to retire its shuttle fleet in 2011. Unless commercial operations take over the space race, the United States won't be shooting much of anything into orbit in the future. Wednesday’s successful launch of the Falcon 9 rocket followed up on a successful test launch back in July that SpaceX officials deemed "essentially a bulls-eye." The test rocket successfully pushed past the earth's atmosphere and deposited a mock-up of its Dragon space capsule in orbit. For the record, the Obama administration plans to end NASA’s three-decade run of flying shuttles in low Earth orbit and going to and from the space station because it wants to see whether private companies can do it cheaper and more efficiently. NASA has selected SpaceX and another company, Orbital Sciences, to each develop an orbital vehicle to replace the soon-to-retire space fleet it has relied upon to get to the space station. Oh, and we’re also getting help from the communists, as the U.S. will be renting space from the Russians aboard their Soyuz spacecraft. The competition to see which private company can reach space first has been fierce and SpaceX is the first company to reach the launchpad. Doing so cost them almost $400 million (and counting), but SpaceX currently holds a $1.6 billion contract from NASA to transport cargo into space, so they’re not exactly going broke here. SpaceX CEO Elon Musk, who made his fortune as co-founder of PayPal, said back in July that if all went according to plan, SpaceX would be ready to begin flying cargo to the space station next year. "We want to see a future where we are exploring the stars, where we're going to other planets, where we're doing the great things that we read about in science fiction and in the movies," he said. There is also competition when it comes to transporting non-astronauts and government cargo to space and Spaceport America, a commercial launch facility in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, is expected to be fully operational by the end of 2011. The primary tenant at its facility is Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic, which hopes to launch short tourist excursions into space in the near future. Yes sir, it’s an exciting time to be in the space exploration business………
- Aaaaaand allow the angry ranting to commence. Every time Philadelphia Eagles quarterback is given an honor or recognized in any way from here to the end of his career most likely, there will be angry animal lovers who decry the recognition as a sign of all that is wrong and evil in this world. That’ll happen when you spend 18 months in prison for running a dogfighting and gambling operation, but that doesn’t mean C-list musicians like E Street band guitarist Nils Lofgren should be penning open letters to the public and members of the media, trying to re-open wounds that a) were beginning to heal and b) were so far in the past that most of us would need to break out our telescopes to see them. Lofgren isn’t the only kook making that sort of gesture and you can be certain that more will follow his lead now that the NFL has revealed that Vick leads Pro Bowl voting, with 729,838 fan votes, 38,692 more than second-place Peyton Manning. Manning had the lead two weeks ago when the last results announcement was made, but he’s thrown eight interceptions in the past two games while Vick has continued to soar. Despite being a backup to start the season, Vick has led the Eagles to first place in the NFC East, accounting for 21 total touchdowns and throwing just two interceptions. Most fans (and especially fantasy football dorks) have forgiven or simply forgotten his dark past because they only value what he can do on the field. Others still despise his actions but realize that once someone has paid the price for their crime, they should be allowed to move forward and re-enter society just like a normal person. For these three groups, voting for Vick isn’t a huge deal. For everyone else…….get ready for some angry rants. Fan voting is just one component of the Pro Bowl selection process, although it is a virtual certainty that players and coaches, whose votes make up the other two-thirds of the equation, will select Vick to play in the game. Now it’s up to you to determine if you believe that to be a good thing or a bad thing………
- Umm, I don’t know how to put this China, so I’ll say it as directly as possible: You can't just make up your own prizes and awards when you don’t like how various groups and organizations around the world distribute theirs. While you may not like the Norwegian Nobel committee's choice of imprisoned Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo as this year's Nobel Peace Prize, you cannot simply create your own and pretend that it’s legit. Liu Xiaobo is this year’s laureate according to the Nobel committee and you concocting the Confucius Peace Prize -- which comes with an award of $15,000 -- and pretend that it’s the same thing. Sure, Confucius is a major figure in Chinese history, but dropping his name on the award doesn’t make it legitimate either. "China is a great nation that has been influenced by the Confucian concept of peace for a long time," said Tan Changliu, chairman of the awards committee. "We want to promote world peace from an Eastern perspective. Europe is full of small countries that had fought each other for centuries. We don't want to see people who don't understand peace to ruin the concept." Wow, that’s rich. Playing the “nations that have fought each other and don’t understand peace” is quite the concept for a nation that has seen its share of wars over the years. Do the words Tiananmen Square mean anything to y’all? Does the image of a tank about to run over a protestor scream peace to you? Wanting to promote an ancient sage's philosophy is one thing, but don’t try to sell us on the fact that the Confucius Peace Prize is anything other that a hackneyed attempt to rip off the Nobel Peace Prize. You’re throwing this thing together so you can award it a day before the Nobel committee honors Liu in Oslo. Tan refused to give any details about his shadowy little cabal of award-givers, saying only that the committee is a non-government organization. Uh-huh, sure it’s not. Nothing in China is non-government, period. So slam together your five-person committee and give it out to whatever government sycophant you can find on short notice. But props for including Nelson Mandela and Bill Gates on the list, just to make it look legitimate. Just know that this charade isn’t going to cause anyone to forget that Liu is currently serving an 11-year sentence for "inciting subversion" and that you have wrongly branded him as a common criminal and the award as a Western plot against China. Here’s hoping that this sinister “plot” does exactly what the Chinese government fears it will do, namely create 1.3 billion "dissidents" in China. Oh, and thanks for the hilarity of the Confucius Peace Prize’s creators suggesting that it will promote China’s view on human rights to the rest of the world. As if China has a view on human rights other than the one from high above as it tramples them underfoot………
- Thanks so much, MTV, for turning New Year’s Eve into what is guaranteed to be the biggest tool-fest of both this and next year. If I’m mentioning the words tool and MTV in the same sentence, it can only mean that…..wait for it…..yup, the Jersey Shore crew is involved and sure enough, they will be front and center as MTV looks to usurp Times Square tradition by dropping its own ball this year. Of course, one could argue that MTV drops the ball on a daily basis with its never-ending slew of low-rent, terrible reality shows about spoiled girls getting lavish 16th birthday parties, teen skanks getting knocked up and raising their kids in homes sure to foster mentally scarred futures and talentless idiots living in beach houses in New Jersey. But on New Year’s Eve, there will be an actual ball dropping courtesy of MTV and inside that ball will be none other than Jersey Shore‘s Snooki. Just like the original ball dropping in Times Square, the Snooki ball will also descend at midnight to ring in the new year. Other members of the Jersey Shore cast will also be on hand for MTV’s New Year’s Bash special with host Whitney Cummings — Pauly D will DJ — and together, these half-wits (probably giving them too much credit there) will attempt to lead the crowd in the largest collective fist-pump the world has ever witnessed. And somewhere, the soul of every person watching that broadcast anywhere in the world will die just a little bit……..
- At long last, the first commercially-operated space flight has taken off and with it, the possibility of a new era in the world of space travel. SpaceX's Falcon 9 rocket lifted off from Kennedy Space Center at 10:43 a.m. ET and took what could be a significant step toward commercial space travel. If the Falcon 9 is able to execute a successful re-entry, it could pave the way for commercial space ventures that could eventually transport astronauts and cargo to the International Space Station. Of course, NASA is having much of its funding ripped by the federal government, so the space agency is set to retire its shuttle fleet in 2011. Unless commercial operations take over the space race, the United States won't be shooting much of anything into orbit in the future. Wednesday’s successful launch of the Falcon 9 rocket followed up on a successful test launch back in July that SpaceX officials deemed "essentially a bulls-eye." The test rocket successfully pushed past the earth's atmosphere and deposited a mock-up of its Dragon space capsule in orbit. For the record, the Obama administration plans to end NASA’s three-decade run of flying shuttles in low Earth orbit and going to and from the space station because it wants to see whether private companies can do it cheaper and more efficiently. NASA has selected SpaceX and another company, Orbital Sciences, to each develop an orbital vehicle to replace the soon-to-retire space fleet it has relied upon to get to the space station. Oh, and we’re also getting help from the communists, as the U.S. will be renting space from the Russians aboard their Soyuz spacecraft. The competition to see which private company can reach space first has been fierce and SpaceX is the first company to reach the launchpad. Doing so cost them almost $400 million (and counting), but SpaceX currently holds a $1.6 billion contract from NASA to transport cargo into space, so they’re not exactly going broke here. SpaceX CEO Elon Musk, who made his fortune as co-founder of PayPal, said back in July that if all went according to plan, SpaceX would be ready to begin flying cargo to the space station next year. "We want to see a future where we are exploring the stars, where we're going to other planets, where we're doing the great things that we read about in science fiction and in the movies," he said. There is also competition when it comes to transporting non-astronauts and government cargo to space and Spaceport America, a commercial launch facility in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, is expected to be fully operational by the end of 2011. The primary tenant at its facility is Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic, which hopes to launch short tourist excursions into space in the near future. Yes sir, it’s an exciting time to be in the space exploration business………
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
"Walking Dead" success, Android's new tablet computer and Africa's ability to feed itself
- High ratings for the first episode or two are nothing unusual for a new show. The obvious curiosity factor is in play and people will tune in to find out what the show is all about before checking out if they really don’t like it. Sustaining those lofty ratings from Week 1 to Week 2 and beyond is the measure of a successful show and AMC’s “The Walking Dead” measures up well. The sci-fi series just completed its first season, which lasted a short six weeks. Based on its success thus far, AMC is probably kicking itself for not ordering more episodes and riding the wave of support. Still, the numbers for the season finale were truly record-breaking, as the episode garnered six million viewers, according to the network, and it received the highest ratings of any basic cable show, ever, in the coveted 18-49 demographic. By comparison, October's season finale of "Mad Men" had an audience of 2.44 million. The numbers skew a bit if you factor kids’ shows into the mix, as a post-"High School Musical 2" episode of "Hannah Montana," with much of its audience under 18, averaged 10.7 million viewers. But amongst programming that doesn’t make anyone with a maturity level of older than 12 want to bash themselves in the head with a hammer to make it stop, “Walking Dead” is definitely distinguishing itself. Its average 18-49 viewership of 3.5 million for this season makes it the most watched drama series in basic cable history in the demographic. The problem for AMC will be keeping those fans locked in and invested in the show with the impending 10-month lapse between the end of this season and the start of the show’s second one, which is expected to begin next Halloween. That plan worked this time around, but forcing fans of a returning show to wait nearly a year for a new season can often be a recipe for failure…….
- Is it blind hope or smart, forward-thinking prognostication for easily the most impoverished continent in the world? That’s impossible to know for sure, but the idea that Africa could be able to feed itself in a generation is encouraging on some level. That prediction comes from a new study being presented to five African presidents Thursday. Long a net-food importer, Africa has the potential to not only meet its own needs, but to become a food exporter through a combination of modern technology, improved infrastructure and better technical education, according to the study. The study comes from the place where most smart-people thinking comes from: Harvard. Calestous Juma, professor of the practice of international development at the Harvard Kennedy School in the United States, led the research, with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funding it. Juma and his team postulate that transforming from a consumer on the world food market to a seller would necessitate a shift in focus from exporting raw materials to developing the agriculture sector.
"Seventy percent of employment in Africa comes from agriculture, so you can argue that in Africa agriculture and economy are synonymous," he said. "In effect, you cannot modernize the economy in Africa without starting with agriculture." Many of the study’s findings are staggering, especially the fact that food production in Africa has fallen 10 percent since 1960 while the population has increased. Furthermore, production levels are so low that one third of sub-Saharan Africans are chronically hungry and most nations have made no real investment in their agricultural development. Technology could alter those realities, according to Juma. Modern communications would allow farmers to keep up to date on market prices and weather conditions. Additionally, biotechnology, including genetically modified seeds, would improve agricultural yields and in mitigating the effects of climate change by making crops more pest-resistant and weather-resistant. "South Africa, Burkina Faso and Egypt already have GM crops and we expect in the next few years Kenya and Tanzania to follow suit," said Juma. "In the cotton industry, people couldn't afford pesticides and now suddenly you have new seeds that don't require use of pesticides or use a lot less pesticides. That's starting to make cotton production commercially viable. There is also the prospect of growing drought-tolerant crops, especially drought-tolerant corn, because corn is very widely consumed in Africa.” Even with increased production, nations would still need to improve their infrastructure to distribute and export crops more efficiently than their current capabilities. “It's really important to note that raw materials, especially minerals, have very little knowledge content," Juma said. The facts are there, so now it’s up to Africa and its leaders to take them and act………
- Have a few days playing in the NBA Developmental League (NBADL) fixed what ails New Jersey Nets guard Terrence Williams? That will be determined by the answer to one simple question now that Williams has been recalled by the Nets: Does he show up on time for practices, meetings and games? The Nets didn’t send Williams down to play for the Springfield Armor of the NBADL because they had questions about his ability. Coach Avery Johnson and his staff simply grew tired wondering when Williams’ shadow would darken the doorstep of their locker room on game days and before practices. While Johnson has made a point of saying that sending Williams down was primarily about him getting playing time, it’s no mystery that the troubled guard had shown up late for multiple meetings and practices, been warned by the team and then went on to repeat the behavior. Figuring out whether the demotion has changed him can't be discerned by his statistics in Springfield, although those numbers were certainly impressive. In three games, he recorded two triple-doubles and averaged 28.0 points, 11.3 rebounds, 10.7 assists and 1.3 steals a game. He torched the mighty Maine Red Claws on Sunday, scoring 36 points, grabbing nine rebounds and handing out seven assists. Those number underscore the fact that this guy doesn’t belong anywhere near the D-League, not for a team like the Nets, with whom he is clearly better than Anthony Morrow or even Travis Outlaw at small forward. The Nets lack playmakers and Williams fits that description - if he can get there on time. In the eight games he did play before his demotion, he averaged just 19.9 minutes a game off the bench. Probably not what the Nets expected when they drafted him11th overall out of Louisville in 2009. He hasn’t done himself any favors with his constant tardiness and some bizarre, head-scratching rants on Twitter. Putting all of those distractions behind him should allow Williams to make use of his incredible athletic ability, solid shooting touch and good defensive skills. But if he can’t keep his head in the game, then he’s simply going to become another example of this world’s most common commodity: talented, unsuccessful people……….
- For a long time, I have argued against the abolishment of the Guinness Book of World Records. It’s not that I have a problem with Guinness; in fact, it’s a huge part of Irish culture and I love that fact. However, the GBWR is like flypaper for morons. Its collection of random, obscure and asinine records inspire a non-step parade of losers with nothing better to do with their pathetic lives trying to gather a new record-high number of people to play “Smoke on the Water” together, do the Macarena or eat fish tacos at the same time. They forget that accumulating the world’s largest ball of yarn or growing the longest fingernails ever measured doesn’t mean a person has talent or is interesting; in fact, it means just the opposite. If you were interesting or had talent, then you wouldn’t need to do those things to get attention. Bearing all of this in mind, let’s visit for a few minutes with the ass hats in Lubbock, Tex. who will attempt to make the world's largest snow cone beginning on Dec. 7. If the cone reaches its goal size, it will be as tall as a typical house and weigh as much as an 18-wheeler. Leading this charge of fools will be a local ice cream stand called Bahama Buck's. "Just had a crazy idea to build the world's largest snow cone," said owner Blake Buchanan. "This thing is insulated just like a cooler would be so it's going to hold the temperature very cold because for it to be a Guinness World Book of Record it's got to be completely edible." How very inspiring of you, Blake. I have no doubt that when you opened Bahama Buck's in 1990 while a student at Texas Tech, this was the very sort of meaningless, hollow and stupid feat you aspired to. On Monday, Buchanan and his helpers put finishing touches on the "cup" that will hold 4,500 blocks of ice and 14,000 pounds of syrup. The cup measures 11 feet tall, eight feet in diameter and has a circumference of 26 feet. To put that all in perspective, that’s approximately 60,000 times larger than a normal ice cream cone. If the Bahama Buck’s team can finish off the ginormous snow cone, the finished product will weigh around 30,000 pounds and stand 16 feet tall. "We brought in 9,000 pounds of Imperial Pure Cane Sugar just for this event so we really thing this things going to be huge," Buchanan said. The original idea was merely to break the previous world record made in 2000 by Mammoth Mountain Ski Resort in California, but Buchanan hopes that the effort will draw in people who want to support The Children's Home of Lubbock. For $10, a person will receive a block of ice they can shave to be put into the snow cone. The ice-shaving will take place from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday and the announcement of the cone’s potential record-breaking status is slated for Thursday. Personally, I’d just donate $10 to the children’s home and not have any part in one of the single-most imbecilic efforts ever to be undertaken in human history, but that’s just me……….
- Google rolled out the newest version of its smartphone operating system, but the big reveal for the day turned out to be Android head Andy Rubin giving the assembled media at the D: Dive Into Mobile conference kickoff event a preview of Google’s next big gadget, a tablet computer that it is working on with Motorola. "This isn't due out for a while," Rubin explained before showing off chunk of black plastic that bears an eerie resemblance to Apple's iPad. The software appears very similar to the iPad as well, but the Android tablets currently in development mostly feature screens that measure 7 inches diagonally, significantly smaller than the iPad’s 9.7-inch display. However, Rubin’s mystery device seemed significantly closer to the size of the iPad. What’s unique about the prototype tablet is the absence of the signature four buttons used to navigate the Android system. The exclusion was intentional, Rubin stated before explaining that rotating a tablet in different directions causes the screen to shift its orientation to cater to the user. Fixed buttons on the hardware obviously can't change positions, so even having one button, a la the iPad, causes you to “still get a little lost," Rubin said. On top of tweaking the design and removing fixed buttons, Android's developers are working on ways to simplify the software, Rubin said. That would mean removing steps from basic tasks and not forcing users to sift through menu after menu to accomplish something. Rubin admitted that Android as it now exists is still a phenomenon that most consumers haven’t embraced. "I would probably characterize Android today as an early-adopter platform," he said. When he fired up the tablet, Rubin showed off its colorful screen and navigated around with his index finger before displaying a Google chat application that had video icons throughout. App icons on the home screen appeared to be about the same size as buttons on a typical smartphone. The tablet also has a new version of Google Maps that can navigate in three dimensions using two-finger gestures, an app that will be available for Android phones "in a matter of days," Rubin said. The overall design of the tablet shows that a) the iPad’s dominance in the tablet field in influencing other computer companies and b) Android is going to be the main focus of Google’s product push in the weeks and months ahead………
- Is it blind hope or smart, forward-thinking prognostication for easily the most impoverished continent in the world? That’s impossible to know for sure, but the idea that Africa could be able to feed itself in a generation is encouraging on some level. That prediction comes from a new study being presented to five African presidents Thursday. Long a net-food importer, Africa has the potential to not only meet its own needs, but to become a food exporter through a combination of modern technology, improved infrastructure and better technical education, according to the study. The study comes from the place where most smart-people thinking comes from: Harvard. Calestous Juma, professor of the practice of international development at the Harvard Kennedy School in the United States, led the research, with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funding it. Juma and his team postulate that transforming from a consumer on the world food market to a seller would necessitate a shift in focus from exporting raw materials to developing the agriculture sector.
"Seventy percent of employment in Africa comes from agriculture, so you can argue that in Africa agriculture and economy are synonymous," he said. "In effect, you cannot modernize the economy in Africa without starting with agriculture." Many of the study’s findings are staggering, especially the fact that food production in Africa has fallen 10 percent since 1960 while the population has increased. Furthermore, production levels are so low that one third of sub-Saharan Africans are chronically hungry and most nations have made no real investment in their agricultural development. Technology could alter those realities, according to Juma. Modern communications would allow farmers to keep up to date on market prices and weather conditions. Additionally, biotechnology, including genetically modified seeds, would improve agricultural yields and in mitigating the effects of climate change by making crops more pest-resistant and weather-resistant. "South Africa, Burkina Faso and Egypt already have GM crops and we expect in the next few years Kenya and Tanzania to follow suit," said Juma. "In the cotton industry, people couldn't afford pesticides and now suddenly you have new seeds that don't require use of pesticides or use a lot less pesticides. That's starting to make cotton production commercially viable. There is also the prospect of growing drought-tolerant crops, especially drought-tolerant corn, because corn is very widely consumed in Africa.” Even with increased production, nations would still need to improve their infrastructure to distribute and export crops more efficiently than their current capabilities. “It's really important to note that raw materials, especially minerals, have very little knowledge content," Juma said. The facts are there, so now it’s up to Africa and its leaders to take them and act………
- Have a few days playing in the NBA Developmental League (NBADL) fixed what ails New Jersey Nets guard Terrence Williams? That will be determined by the answer to one simple question now that Williams has been recalled by the Nets: Does he show up on time for practices, meetings and games? The Nets didn’t send Williams down to play for the Springfield Armor of the NBADL because they had questions about his ability. Coach Avery Johnson and his staff simply grew tired wondering when Williams’ shadow would darken the doorstep of their locker room on game days and before practices. While Johnson has made a point of saying that sending Williams down was primarily about him getting playing time, it’s no mystery that the troubled guard had shown up late for multiple meetings and practices, been warned by the team and then went on to repeat the behavior. Figuring out whether the demotion has changed him can't be discerned by his statistics in Springfield, although those numbers were certainly impressive. In three games, he recorded two triple-doubles and averaged 28.0 points, 11.3 rebounds, 10.7 assists and 1.3 steals a game. He torched the mighty Maine Red Claws on Sunday, scoring 36 points, grabbing nine rebounds and handing out seven assists. Those number underscore the fact that this guy doesn’t belong anywhere near the D-League, not for a team like the Nets, with whom he is clearly better than Anthony Morrow or even Travis Outlaw at small forward. The Nets lack playmakers and Williams fits that description - if he can get there on time. In the eight games he did play before his demotion, he averaged just 19.9 minutes a game off the bench. Probably not what the Nets expected when they drafted him11th overall out of Louisville in 2009. He hasn’t done himself any favors with his constant tardiness and some bizarre, head-scratching rants on Twitter. Putting all of those distractions behind him should allow Williams to make use of his incredible athletic ability, solid shooting touch and good defensive skills. But if he can’t keep his head in the game, then he’s simply going to become another example of this world’s most common commodity: talented, unsuccessful people……….
- For a long time, I have argued against the abolishment of the Guinness Book of World Records. It’s not that I have a problem with Guinness; in fact, it’s a huge part of Irish culture and I love that fact. However, the GBWR is like flypaper for morons. Its collection of random, obscure and asinine records inspire a non-step parade of losers with nothing better to do with their pathetic lives trying to gather a new record-high number of people to play “Smoke on the Water” together, do the Macarena or eat fish tacos at the same time. They forget that accumulating the world’s largest ball of yarn or growing the longest fingernails ever measured doesn’t mean a person has talent or is interesting; in fact, it means just the opposite. If you were interesting or had talent, then you wouldn’t need to do those things to get attention. Bearing all of this in mind, let’s visit for a few minutes with the ass hats in Lubbock, Tex. who will attempt to make the world's largest snow cone beginning on Dec. 7. If the cone reaches its goal size, it will be as tall as a typical house and weigh as much as an 18-wheeler. Leading this charge of fools will be a local ice cream stand called Bahama Buck's. "Just had a crazy idea to build the world's largest snow cone," said owner Blake Buchanan. "This thing is insulated just like a cooler would be so it's going to hold the temperature very cold because for it to be a Guinness World Book of Record it's got to be completely edible." How very inspiring of you, Blake. I have no doubt that when you opened Bahama Buck's in 1990 while a student at Texas Tech, this was the very sort of meaningless, hollow and stupid feat you aspired to. On Monday, Buchanan and his helpers put finishing touches on the "cup" that will hold 4,500 blocks of ice and 14,000 pounds of syrup. The cup measures 11 feet tall, eight feet in diameter and has a circumference of 26 feet. To put that all in perspective, that’s approximately 60,000 times larger than a normal ice cream cone. If the Bahama Buck’s team can finish off the ginormous snow cone, the finished product will weigh around 30,000 pounds and stand 16 feet tall. "We brought in 9,000 pounds of Imperial Pure Cane Sugar just for this event so we really thing this things going to be huge," Buchanan said. The original idea was merely to break the previous world record made in 2000 by Mammoth Mountain Ski Resort in California, but Buchanan hopes that the effort will draw in people who want to support The Children's Home of Lubbock. For $10, a person will receive a block of ice they can shave to be put into the snow cone. The ice-shaving will take place from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday and the announcement of the cone’s potential record-breaking status is slated for Thursday. Personally, I’d just donate $10 to the children’s home and not have any part in one of the single-most imbecilic efforts ever to be undertaken in human history, but that’s just me……….
- Google rolled out the newest version of its smartphone operating system, but the big reveal for the day turned out to be Android head Andy Rubin giving the assembled media at the D: Dive Into Mobile conference kickoff event a preview of Google’s next big gadget, a tablet computer that it is working on with Motorola. "This isn't due out for a while," Rubin explained before showing off chunk of black plastic that bears an eerie resemblance to Apple's iPad. The software appears very similar to the iPad as well, but the Android tablets currently in development mostly feature screens that measure 7 inches diagonally, significantly smaller than the iPad’s 9.7-inch display. However, Rubin’s mystery device seemed significantly closer to the size of the iPad. What’s unique about the prototype tablet is the absence of the signature four buttons used to navigate the Android system. The exclusion was intentional, Rubin stated before explaining that rotating a tablet in different directions causes the screen to shift its orientation to cater to the user. Fixed buttons on the hardware obviously can't change positions, so even having one button, a la the iPad, causes you to “still get a little lost," Rubin said. On top of tweaking the design and removing fixed buttons, Android's developers are working on ways to simplify the software, Rubin said. That would mean removing steps from basic tasks and not forcing users to sift through menu after menu to accomplish something. Rubin admitted that Android as it now exists is still a phenomenon that most consumers haven’t embraced. "I would probably characterize Android today as an early-adopter platform," he said. When he fired up the tablet, Rubin showed off its colorful screen and navigated around with his index finger before displaying a Google chat application that had video icons throughout. App icons on the home screen appeared to be about the same size as buttons on a typical smartphone. The tablet also has a new version of Google Maps that can navigate in three dimensions using two-finger gestures, an app that will be available for Android phones "in a matter of days," Rubin said. The overall design of the tablet shows that a) the iPad’s dominance in the tablet field in influencing other computer companies and b) Android is going to be the main focus of Google’s product push in the weeks and months ahead………
Monday, December 06, 2010
Lingerie football in Cleveland, a Mean Girls revival and paying with your cell phone
- Can we all just agree to stop asking LeBron James stupid questions about things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything relating to his life or career? I understand that every member of the media is looking for their own unique angle or hook to drive up page views and ratings and if they can find a different approach to tie LeBron’s acrimonious departure from Cleveland to something in the town or with the team they cover, then it’s a win for them. Having said that, those attempts lead to a lot of asinine questions and queries and the hypothetical posed to James Monday as he and the Miami Heat were in Milwaukee to play the bucks may be the biggest stretch yet. James was asked if he could relate to Brett Favre's bitter departure from Wisconsin three seasons ago and tried his best to go along with the question and give an answer that didn’t fully convey what a huge moron the questioner was. He explained that Favre had great years in Green Bay and any time a great competitor leaves, no one wants to see it. He went on to point out how the Packers did a great job of regrouping with Aaron Rodgers and believes Cleveland will do the same. I’m sure that patronizing remark will salve the wounds of so many Cleveland fans, LeBron. As for the questioner…..really? Brett Favre played 16 years in Green Bay, won a Super Bowl and then played a game of retirement chicken every offseason late in his career to the point that the team felt it had no choice to move on. LeBron James was the hometown kid who played seven seasons in Cleveland, strung the team out about his intentions while formulating a plan behind the scenes to bolt town and go play with his pals Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade in Miami. He knifed the entire city of Cleveland in the back on a one-hour TV special dubbed "The Decision" and showed no remorse in the aftermath. But you’re right, idiotic Milwaukee media member, the two of them have a lot in common. One is a 40-year-old white quarterback from Mississippi and the other is a 25-year-old black forward from Akron. Again, please just stop with the imbecilic questions and accept the fact that what LeBron did to Cleveland and Ohio in general is unlike anything that any athlete has ever done to a fan base………
- Is there a hole in your 20th-century communist art collection that you just haven’t been able to fill? Do you want just the right painting or sculpture to make your art room pop? If so, I’m sorry to say that you just missed what could have been the perfect opportunity to not only can you find the piece you’re looking for, but to help out a great cause in the process. The Pinter Gallery in Budapest, Hungary held an auction of relics and artworks from Hungary's communist era on Monday to raise funds for the victims of October's flood of toxic red sludge that killed 10 people and left hundreds injured and homeless. Among the items on the auction block were two dozen portraits of Soviet dictator Vladimir Lenin, busts of Bulgarian communist leader Georgi Dimitrov, as well as paintings and drawings in the Socialist realism style exalting physical labor and the supposed friendship between Hungary and the Soviet Union. The pieces came from near and far, with some found in various ministries around Hungary and others collecting dust in state warehouses. Ironically, the most expensive item was a 1957 painting by Iraqi artist, Kadhim Haydar, selling for $7,600. No final figures were immediately available on how much money was raised, but hopefully quite a bit came in to help victims of a terrible tragedy over which they had no control. And in the process, some very fortunate people were able to add some sweet communist art to their homes, offices and dens. I just can’t get over the fact that I wasn’t able to get a truly captivating portrait of my pal Joe Stalin to hang on my wall. Maybe next time………
- Cleveland, you haven’t had a good run lately. After LeBron James returned to town for the first time and kicked your teeth right down your throat in a 28-point mauling and the entire nation watched and simply felt sorry for you. The Cavs chased that loss by going on the road and suffering a humiliating 34-point loss to the lowly Minnesota Timberwolves and a 10-point loss at Detroit. On top of that, the Browns and Indians are both perpetually snakebitten to the point that the Browns’ 5-7 record this season is being hailed as a minor miracle in Cleveland. Winter is here and dumping loads of snow and frigid weather on the city. So what could possibly lift the spirits of Clevelanders and make them feel better about living in a boring, no-personality city with bad sports teams and abysmal weather? How about the Lingerie Football League will coming to Cleveland for the fall 2011 season? Yes, the LFL announced Monday that Cleveland beat out Columbus for a LFL franchise. Not that anyone out there has any excuse not to be familiar with the Lingerie Football League, but I’ll assume that there might be one or two of you out there and lay out the details just in case. The LFL is full-contact and features hot chicks in bras, underwear and shoulder pads in a seven-on-seven game of football. The draw, of course, is seeing technically sound football played by the best athletes around. But the question persists: Why Cleveland? “We could not be more excited to be in a market like Cleveland with its storied history in support of its pro teams, whether they won or lost. LFL Football will translate incredibly well and based on the initial fan support, we suspect Cleveland will a top market for the league,” said founder and chairman of the LFL Mitchell S. Mortaza. A fair assumption, as there’s scarcely a dude around who doesn’t like seeing hot chicas in lingerie playing the game they love. Of course, the LFL is known for putting on pay-per-view games during halftime of the Super Bowl in an attempt to raise its profile, although that doesn’t seem to have done much damage thus far. The Cleveland franchise will be called the Cleveland Crush and the name was picked from roughly 7,500 name submissions. For any good-looking ladies in Northeast Ohio who feel like they have what it takes to demean themselves playing fourth-rate football in which a few hundred desperate dudes are there merely to ogle them and pay no attention whatsoever to the football action, the Crush will hold open-call tryouts before the first day of mini-camp in April. Even if you don’t have what it takes to become a low-paid sex symbol on the field, the team is also looking for front office and operational personnel, so opportunities abound. Oh, and home games will be played at Quicken Loans Arena, perhaps helping to expunge the facility of any lingering bad memories of the LeBron James era………
- It was only a matter of time. Credit cards had their day in the sun as the preferred method of payment for forward-thinking people and with the rise of smartphones and their use as everything from an organizer to a way to check in for your flight without a paper boarding pass, we’ve clearly been headed for a phone-as-cash setup when it comes to buying everything from movie tickets to meals to a tank of gas. Sure enough, the three major U.S. wireless carriers -- Verizon, AT&T, and T-Mobile -- are joining forces to launch Isis -- a mobile payments system that aims to replace credit and debit cards as well as alternative payment services like PayPal. To accomplish its goal, Isis will need to overcome the many potential fears and even paranoia that people will undoubtedly have when it comes to linking something as easily stolen or hacked into as their cell phone. Isis is based on near-field communication technology, which is being integrated into lots of Android, iPhone, Nokia, and Blackberry phones. Survey firm Juniper Research predicts that one in every six mobile users worldwide will have an NFC-enabled phone by 2014, so the change is clearly coming. The way near-field communication works is for customers who have mobile-payment-enabled phones to swipe their phone near an Isis terminal, with charges billed directly to their credit card. As you can imagine, that means getting retailers on board with the idea so they will install Isis terminals in their stores. But as with one of the very means of payment the makers of Isis are seeking to replace, credit cards, a major issue will be how much the cost will be to use Isis, as well as what kinds of interest charges and fees might apply. Merchants must believe that the system is a good deal for them and those who have joined up with PayPal and done so recently. Heck, it was only July when PayPal launched a mobile version of its Express Checkout service. Mobile payments are already a common occurrence on the business landscape in Japan, South Korea, and parts of Europe, but there is substantial doubt that they will become so ubiquitous in the United States. Some cynics believe that it could literally be decades before mobile phone payments are commonplace in the U.S. Central to those beliefs is the speculation that many Americans will fear the possibility of someone pick their mobile pocket just by standing near them or bumping into them with a makeshift mobile terminal. Ah, the wonders of technology………
- Not that Hollywood will heed this sage advice, but we should all be able to agree that you’ve gone to the well for a movie franchise one too many times if the latest installment in the series has gone or is about to go straight to TV and/or DVD. I’m willing to give studios leeway if they are able to convince someone to give their film a shot in theaters, but if your movie is so bad or low-rent that it goes directly to the discount rack at Wal-Mart or basic cable…..you need to stop. Immediately. Permanently. With emphasis. I say this not to hurt anyone, but merely for the benefit of the producers of Mean Girls 2, which will debut on ABC Family Sunday, Jan. 23 at 8 p.m. The network announced the plan today, trumpeting its smarts to score the initial rights to the follow up to the original Mean Girls, which starred everyone’s favorite coked-up, lush actress currently doing her 24th stint in rehab, Miss Lindsey Lohan. This time around, the chief Mean Girl will be Meaghan Martin as Jo, a new student, whose plan to avoid high school social politics is thwarted when she befriends Abby, the object of scorn for the “plastics.” Should you be looking to heap scorn and derision upon those responsible for this disaster, send your messages of mockery to writers Cliff Ruby, Elana Lesser and Allison Schroeder, and director Melanie Mayron…………
- Is there a hole in your 20th-century communist art collection that you just haven’t been able to fill? Do you want just the right painting or sculpture to make your art room pop? If so, I’m sorry to say that you just missed what could have been the perfect opportunity to not only can you find the piece you’re looking for, but to help out a great cause in the process. The Pinter Gallery in Budapest, Hungary held an auction of relics and artworks from Hungary's communist era on Monday to raise funds for the victims of October's flood of toxic red sludge that killed 10 people and left hundreds injured and homeless. Among the items on the auction block were two dozen portraits of Soviet dictator Vladimir Lenin, busts of Bulgarian communist leader Georgi Dimitrov, as well as paintings and drawings in the Socialist realism style exalting physical labor and the supposed friendship between Hungary and the Soviet Union. The pieces came from near and far, with some found in various ministries around Hungary and others collecting dust in state warehouses. Ironically, the most expensive item was a 1957 painting by Iraqi artist, Kadhim Haydar, selling for $7,600. No final figures were immediately available on how much money was raised, but hopefully quite a bit came in to help victims of a terrible tragedy over which they had no control. And in the process, some very fortunate people were able to add some sweet communist art to their homes, offices and dens. I just can’t get over the fact that I wasn’t able to get a truly captivating portrait of my pal Joe Stalin to hang on my wall. Maybe next time………
- Cleveland, you haven’t had a good run lately. After LeBron James returned to town for the first time and kicked your teeth right down your throat in a 28-point mauling and the entire nation watched and simply felt sorry for you. The Cavs chased that loss by going on the road and suffering a humiliating 34-point loss to the lowly Minnesota Timberwolves and a 10-point loss at Detroit. On top of that, the Browns and Indians are both perpetually snakebitten to the point that the Browns’ 5-7 record this season is being hailed as a minor miracle in Cleveland. Winter is here and dumping loads of snow and frigid weather on the city. So what could possibly lift the spirits of Clevelanders and make them feel better about living in a boring, no-personality city with bad sports teams and abysmal weather? How about the Lingerie Football League will coming to Cleveland for the fall 2011 season? Yes, the LFL announced Monday that Cleveland beat out Columbus for a LFL franchise. Not that anyone out there has any excuse not to be familiar with the Lingerie Football League, but I’ll assume that there might be one or two of you out there and lay out the details just in case. The LFL is full-contact and features hot chicks in bras, underwear and shoulder pads in a seven-on-seven game of football. The draw, of course, is seeing technically sound football played by the best athletes around. But the question persists: Why Cleveland? “We could not be more excited to be in a market like Cleveland with its storied history in support of its pro teams, whether they won or lost. LFL Football will translate incredibly well and based on the initial fan support, we suspect Cleveland will a top market for the league,” said founder and chairman of the LFL Mitchell S. Mortaza. A fair assumption, as there’s scarcely a dude around who doesn’t like seeing hot chicas in lingerie playing the game they love. Of course, the LFL is known for putting on pay-per-view games during halftime of the Super Bowl in an attempt to raise its profile, although that doesn’t seem to have done much damage thus far. The Cleveland franchise will be called the Cleveland Crush and the name was picked from roughly 7,500 name submissions. For any good-looking ladies in Northeast Ohio who feel like they have what it takes to demean themselves playing fourth-rate football in which a few hundred desperate dudes are there merely to ogle them and pay no attention whatsoever to the football action, the Crush will hold open-call tryouts before the first day of mini-camp in April. Even if you don’t have what it takes to become a low-paid sex symbol on the field, the team is also looking for front office and operational personnel, so opportunities abound. Oh, and home games will be played at Quicken Loans Arena, perhaps helping to expunge the facility of any lingering bad memories of the LeBron James era………
- It was only a matter of time. Credit cards had their day in the sun as the preferred method of payment for forward-thinking people and with the rise of smartphones and their use as everything from an organizer to a way to check in for your flight without a paper boarding pass, we’ve clearly been headed for a phone-as-cash setup when it comes to buying everything from movie tickets to meals to a tank of gas. Sure enough, the three major U.S. wireless carriers -- Verizon, AT&T, and T-Mobile -- are joining forces to launch Isis -- a mobile payments system that aims to replace credit and debit cards as well as alternative payment services like PayPal. To accomplish its goal, Isis will need to overcome the many potential fears and even paranoia that people will undoubtedly have when it comes to linking something as easily stolen or hacked into as their cell phone. Isis is based on near-field communication technology, which is being integrated into lots of Android, iPhone, Nokia, and Blackberry phones. Survey firm Juniper Research predicts that one in every six mobile users worldwide will have an NFC-enabled phone by 2014, so the change is clearly coming. The way near-field communication works is for customers who have mobile-payment-enabled phones to swipe their phone near an Isis terminal, with charges billed directly to their credit card. As you can imagine, that means getting retailers on board with the idea so they will install Isis terminals in their stores. But as with one of the very means of payment the makers of Isis are seeking to replace, credit cards, a major issue will be how much the cost will be to use Isis, as well as what kinds of interest charges and fees might apply. Merchants must believe that the system is a good deal for them and those who have joined up with PayPal and done so recently. Heck, it was only July when PayPal launched a mobile version of its Express Checkout service. Mobile payments are already a common occurrence on the business landscape in Japan, South Korea, and parts of Europe, but there is substantial doubt that they will become so ubiquitous in the United States. Some cynics believe that it could literally be decades before mobile phone payments are commonplace in the U.S. Central to those beliefs is the speculation that many Americans will fear the possibility of someone pick their mobile pocket just by standing near them or bumping into them with a makeshift mobile terminal. Ah, the wonders of technology………
- Not that Hollywood will heed this sage advice, but we should all be able to agree that you’ve gone to the well for a movie franchise one too many times if the latest installment in the series has gone or is about to go straight to TV and/or DVD. I’m willing to give studios leeway if they are able to convince someone to give their film a shot in theaters, but if your movie is so bad or low-rent that it goes directly to the discount rack at Wal-Mart or basic cable…..you need to stop. Immediately. Permanently. With emphasis. I say this not to hurt anyone, but merely for the benefit of the producers of Mean Girls 2, which will debut on ABC Family Sunday, Jan. 23 at 8 p.m. The network announced the plan today, trumpeting its smarts to score the initial rights to the follow up to the original Mean Girls, which starred everyone’s favorite coked-up, lush actress currently doing her 24th stint in rehab, Miss Lindsey Lohan. This time around, the chief Mean Girl will be Meaghan Martin as Jo, a new student, whose plan to avoid high school social politics is thwarted when she befriends Abby, the object of scorn for the “plastics.” Should you be looking to heap scorn and derision upon those responsible for this disaster, send your messages of mockery to writers Cliff Ruby, Elana Lesser and Allison Schroeder, and director Melanie Mayron…………
Sunday, December 05, 2010
The NBA to take over one of its own teams, own a piece of Unabomber lore and weekend movie news
- It’s happened before in Major League Baseball (and the results haven’t been good) and now it’s about to happen in the NBA. The New Orleans Hornets will soon be the first franchise in league history owned by the NBA, following in the footsteps of the Montreal Expos, who were owned by MLB before that franchise was sold and moved to the nation's capital as the Washington Nationals. Multiple sources have confirmed that the NBA plans to seize control of the Hornets and that those plans are moving ahead "100 percent" and will be publicly confirmed within the next few days. Without a doubt, this is a truly bizarre twists in the Hornets’ hectic history, as current owner George Shinn founded the team in Charlotte in 1988 and controversially moved them to New Orleans for the 2002-03 season. The team was later forced to make Oklahoma City its temporary home for two seasons in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and there was speculation that it may not even return to New Orleans. Ultimately, the Hornets returned and Oklahoma City instead hijacked Seattle’s NBA franchise, but things have been anything but stable for the Hornets in New Orleans. Shinn, who is battling serious health issues, was on the verge of selling his majority share in the team to minority partner Gary Chouest, but that deal collapsed for good in recent days. Rather than allow chaos to ensue, the league plans to step in and run the team while trying to find an owner who can be persuaded to keep the team in New Orleans. Fact is, Shinn is debt-ridden and can no longer afford running the team, but also can't find a buyer. The league stepping in could also impact the desire of All-Star point guard Chris Paul to remain in New Orleans long-term. Whether Paul signs a new long-term deal or not, NBA commissioner David Stern is determined to keep a team in New Orleans and tried to inject life into the franchise by awarding the 2009 All-Star Game to New Orleans. Convincing a new owner to keep the team in one of the league’s smallest markets will be difficult, especially with this week’s disclosure that this season's attendance has dropped to the point that the Hornets are on pace to have the right to opt out of their lease with the state of Louisiana as early as March 1. The Hornets averaged just 13,826 fans through their first nine home games even with an 11-1 start on the court and with Chouest withdrawing his offer to buy the team because he no longer thinks he can devote the time needed to run an NBA team as well as his private company isn’t likely to fire up Hornets fans about their team. Knowing that they might lose their team if they average less than 14,213 fans during a 13-game stretch of home dates between Dec. 1 and Jan. 17 may inspire them to come out and watch a team that is playing much better than expected. If not, the NBA is going to have an absolute brawl on its hands to keep the Hornets in New Orleans………..
- Have a hankering for a prime piece of Montana wilderness that once belonged to one of the most infamous figures in the past century of American history? Now is the time to act, as you can score the tract of land that once belonged to the nefarious Ted Kaczynski, who spent 17 years in a cabin on this very property, building his instruments of death and mailing them to unsuspecting people around the country. Of course, Kaczynski - better known as the Unabomber - is serving a life sentence at a federal supermax prison in Colorado, so he no longer needs the land. The cabin is long gone, housed in the Newseum in Washington, D.C. But the property it sat on in western Montana is up for sale AND the asking price was recently reduced from $154,500 to $69,500. "It's very secluded. Hardly any one goes up there," says John Pistelak, who runs a realty company in town and is handling the sale. "I've had all kinds of calls." Lots of calls from people curious about a potential move to lovely Lincoln, Mont. Oh, and don’t think that moving to this piece of land means that you too must eschew modern comforts, like electricity or water, and dwell in a small, crude building like the one Kaczynski lived in for nearly two decades. Besides, how can anyone not be fascinated by the site where some mail-bomb-murdering kook sat down and penned his an angry 35,000-word anti-technology manifesto? Maybe I’m the only one with a thing for manifestos, but the idea of some misanthrope sitting down at a creaky wooden table and scrawling 35,000 words of anti-societal bile is interesting. The person who buys the property will become the proud owner of 1.4 acres south of Lincoln and the newest member of a town of 1,500. A real estate brochure reading, "Own a Piece of U.S. History: Home of the Unabomber," touts the property and hails its proximity to wilderness areas and "great fishing and hunting." Pistelak even admits the land normally would go for no more than $50,000 if not for Kaczynski’s ties to it. Nothing like cashing in on the fame of a guy who killed people from thousands of miles away by mail bombs. "With the history, it's got to be worth something," Pistelak said. Lincoln resident Wendy Gehring, who knew Kaczynski and was a neighbor, doesn’t seem too fired up about the sale. "I have nothing good to say about him," she fumed. "The town doesn't really give a rat's ass about Ted Kaczynski." And who would pass up the chance to live next to this charming lady? Oh, and a prospective buyer could run power on the property from a few lots down, which would really be the ultimate eff-you to Kaczynski. Or, and I’m just throwing ideas out there, you could call your own brother out and have him pitch in to help you build a ramshackle wooden building like Kaczynski and his own brother built after he quit a tenure-track position at the University of California-Berkeley in 1969 and built the original shack. There are just so many possibilities and I haven’t even mentioned the possibility of penning your very own manifesto………
- Russia has had a bit of an up-and-down week. On the one hand, the communist nation (and yes, I believe y’all are still commies, Russia) was awarded the 2018 World Cup, beating out joint bids from Portugal and Spain and Belgium and the Netherlands for the right to host the biggest event in the “beautiful game.” On the other hand, it has to suck to have not one, not two, but three navigational satellites fail to launch. Russia's space agency is investigating the failed launch of three navigational satellites, which were meant to complete the Russian GLONASS satellite navigation system. None of the three made it to outer space and all of them went into a "non-targeted orbit" following their launch from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan on Sunday afternoon. The Federal Space Agency confirmed the failed launches and issued a statement that shared nothing at all of value. "A special Board has been established to find out the cause of the contingency and to define next steps," the statement read. According to unidentified Russian officials, the satellites crashed into the Pacific Ocean off Hawaii, but U.S. military and Coast Guard were unable to confirm those reports. The satellites were launched aboard a Proton-M rocket from Baikonur about 3:25 p.m. Sunday and were scheduled to be fully operational in about six weeks. I guess that won’t be happening now. GLONASS, by the way, is the Russian equivalent of the U.S. Global Positioning System network. Losing these three satellites means that the network remains three satellites short of being at full strength. But hey, you can always draw hope from the fact that in eight years, you’ll be hosting a gathering of guys with long, greasy mullets who like to fake injuries and engage in lame post-goal celebrations………
- Well lookee here, dorky wizards don’t necessarily rule all at the box office. After easily besting the competition in its opening weekend, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ceded the top spot to the very movie it beat out last weekend, Tangled, which managed to edge past the pale, socially awkward Harry Potter and his wizard pals even though both films lost more than half of their revenue from last weekend. Tangled did decline some 56 percent, but still made $21.5 million to up its cumulative total to $96.5 million for its first two weeks. As for Harry Potter, the dorks who camped out to see it last weekend were definitely not back for a second viewing as the film fell off 66 percent and made a scant $16.7 million for a two-week total of $244.2 million. Outside of the top two films, no other movie hit the eight-figure mark for the weekend. Third-place finisher Burlesque made $6.2 million in its second weekend and seems destined to end up as a major disappointment with its current running total of $27 million being less than half of its $55 million budget. Fourth place went to Denzel Washington’s Unstoppable, which hasn’t won at the box office in any of its four weekends but has churned out one respectable effort after another and remained in the top five in each of its four weeks. This time around, a $6.1 million haul raised its cumulative earnings to $68.9 million. The final spot in the top five went to Love and Other Drugs, which brought in 41.5 percent less than last weekend but still made $5.7 million to push its current earnings to $22.6 million. The remaining occupants of the top 10 for the weekend were: Disney/Pixar Films’ Megamind (No. 6 with $5 million after suffering its biggest week-to-week drop-off thus far at 60 percent), Due Date (No. 7 with $4.2 million for a running tally of $91 million in five weeks), Faster (No. 8 and still a massive, massive disappointment after two weeks with $3.9 million this weekend and a paltry $18.1 million overall), newcomer The Warrior’s Way (No. 9 with $3.1 million in its opening weekend) and Russell Crowe’s drastically underperforming The Next Three Days (No. 10 with just $2.6 million and an astonishingly low $18.4 million through three weeks). Dropping out of the top 10 from last week was another film failing to meet expectations, Morning Glory, which tumbled to No. 11 this weekend…….
- Smoking is for losers. That’s been established in this very space time and time again, so any potential suffering and misery from quitting and going through withdrawal is outweighed by all the ways choking down cancer sticks can ruin your life. Still, I appreciate the good folks at Rhode Island’s Brown University who completed a study that found people who were in the process of quitting smoking were never happier. These commendable researchers have just completed their work and published their efforts in the journal Nicotine & Tobacco Research. At the core of the study was the premise that everyone knows that giving up smoking is known to be good for our physical health, but nobody really seemed to know whether the process makes us happy or depressed. Smokers would argue that a) they can quit any time they want to and b) part of not wanting to quit is the absolute agony they will go through in attempting to wean themselves off their death sticks. Those fears are exactly what researcher and author Christopher Kahler took dead aim at when he said the following: "The assumption has often been that people might smoke because it has antidepressant properties and that if they quit it might unmask a depressive episode. What's surprising is that at the time when you measure smokers' mood, even if they've only succeeded for a little while, they are already reporting less symptoms of depression." He went on to explain that smokers thinking of quitting should be encouraged by the double benefit - both physical and mental. Quitting isn’t the nightmare so many smokers fear it to be and the Brown researchers can point to data they examined on 236 male and female smokers who wanted to quit, data that revealed much less psychological suffering from attempts to quit than were expected. Participants were given smoking cessation counseling and nicotine patches and then established a date to officially stop smoking. They all underwent a standardized test for symptoms of depression seven days before they stopped smoking and further evaluations for depression took place 2, 8, 16 and 28 weeks after their quit date. Of the 236 participants, 99 of them never actually quit smoking, while 44 were only found to be smoking free during their first evaluation after the quit date, 33 were smoking-free up to their 8-week check-up and 33 stopped smoking for the duration of the study. Among the quitters, researchers found generally high morale. Only if they relapsed into smoking did their moods decline. As long as they abstained from smoking, their moods were extremely positive. The ones who managed to abstain throughout the study period had the highest levels of happiness. From that data, Kahler and his team extrapolated that link between happiness and smoking cessation is strong, strong enough for the myth of quitting being an agonizing, soul-sucking ordeal to be debunked………
- Have a hankering for a prime piece of Montana wilderness that once belonged to one of the most infamous figures in the past century of American history? Now is the time to act, as you can score the tract of land that once belonged to the nefarious Ted Kaczynski, who spent 17 years in a cabin on this very property, building his instruments of death and mailing them to unsuspecting people around the country. Of course, Kaczynski - better known as the Unabomber - is serving a life sentence at a federal supermax prison in Colorado, so he no longer needs the land. The cabin is long gone, housed in the Newseum in Washington, D.C. But the property it sat on in western Montana is up for sale AND the asking price was recently reduced from $154,500 to $69,500. "It's very secluded. Hardly any one goes up there," says John Pistelak, who runs a realty company in town and is handling the sale. "I've had all kinds of calls." Lots of calls from people curious about a potential move to lovely Lincoln, Mont. Oh, and don’t think that moving to this piece of land means that you too must eschew modern comforts, like electricity or water, and dwell in a small, crude building like the one Kaczynski lived in for nearly two decades. Besides, how can anyone not be fascinated by the site where some mail-bomb-murdering kook sat down and penned his an angry 35,000-word anti-technology manifesto? Maybe I’m the only one with a thing for manifestos, but the idea of some misanthrope sitting down at a creaky wooden table and scrawling 35,000 words of anti-societal bile is interesting. The person who buys the property will become the proud owner of 1.4 acres south of Lincoln and the newest member of a town of 1,500. A real estate brochure reading, "Own a Piece of U.S. History: Home of the Unabomber," touts the property and hails its proximity to wilderness areas and "great fishing and hunting." Pistelak even admits the land normally would go for no more than $50,000 if not for Kaczynski’s ties to it. Nothing like cashing in on the fame of a guy who killed people from thousands of miles away by mail bombs. "With the history, it's got to be worth something," Pistelak said. Lincoln resident Wendy Gehring, who knew Kaczynski and was a neighbor, doesn’t seem too fired up about the sale. "I have nothing good to say about him," she fumed. "The town doesn't really give a rat's ass about Ted Kaczynski." And who would pass up the chance to live next to this charming lady? Oh, and a prospective buyer could run power on the property from a few lots down, which would really be the ultimate eff-you to Kaczynski. Or, and I’m just throwing ideas out there, you could call your own brother out and have him pitch in to help you build a ramshackle wooden building like Kaczynski and his own brother built after he quit a tenure-track position at the University of California-Berkeley in 1969 and built the original shack. There are just so many possibilities and I haven’t even mentioned the possibility of penning your very own manifesto………
- Russia has had a bit of an up-and-down week. On the one hand, the communist nation (and yes, I believe y’all are still commies, Russia) was awarded the 2018 World Cup, beating out joint bids from Portugal and Spain and Belgium and the Netherlands for the right to host the biggest event in the “beautiful game.” On the other hand, it has to suck to have not one, not two, but three navigational satellites fail to launch. Russia's space agency is investigating the failed launch of three navigational satellites, which were meant to complete the Russian GLONASS satellite navigation system. None of the three made it to outer space and all of them went into a "non-targeted orbit" following their launch from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan on Sunday afternoon. The Federal Space Agency confirmed the failed launches and issued a statement that shared nothing at all of value. "A special Board has been established to find out the cause of the contingency and to define next steps," the statement read. According to unidentified Russian officials, the satellites crashed into the Pacific Ocean off Hawaii, but U.S. military and Coast Guard were unable to confirm those reports. The satellites were launched aboard a Proton-M rocket from Baikonur about 3:25 p.m. Sunday and were scheduled to be fully operational in about six weeks. I guess that won’t be happening now. GLONASS, by the way, is the Russian equivalent of the U.S. Global Positioning System network. Losing these three satellites means that the network remains three satellites short of being at full strength. But hey, you can always draw hope from the fact that in eight years, you’ll be hosting a gathering of guys with long, greasy mullets who like to fake injuries and engage in lame post-goal celebrations………
- Well lookee here, dorky wizards don’t necessarily rule all at the box office. After easily besting the competition in its opening weekend, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ceded the top spot to the very movie it beat out last weekend, Tangled, which managed to edge past the pale, socially awkward Harry Potter and his wizard pals even though both films lost more than half of their revenue from last weekend. Tangled did decline some 56 percent, but still made $21.5 million to up its cumulative total to $96.5 million for its first two weeks. As for Harry Potter, the dorks who camped out to see it last weekend were definitely not back for a second viewing as the film fell off 66 percent and made a scant $16.7 million for a two-week total of $244.2 million. Outside of the top two films, no other movie hit the eight-figure mark for the weekend. Third-place finisher Burlesque made $6.2 million in its second weekend and seems destined to end up as a major disappointment with its current running total of $27 million being less than half of its $55 million budget. Fourth place went to Denzel Washington’s Unstoppable, which hasn’t won at the box office in any of its four weekends but has churned out one respectable effort after another and remained in the top five in each of its four weeks. This time around, a $6.1 million haul raised its cumulative earnings to $68.9 million. The final spot in the top five went to Love and Other Drugs, which brought in 41.5 percent less than last weekend but still made $5.7 million to push its current earnings to $22.6 million. The remaining occupants of the top 10 for the weekend were: Disney/Pixar Films’ Megamind (No. 6 with $5 million after suffering its biggest week-to-week drop-off thus far at 60 percent), Due Date (No. 7 with $4.2 million for a running tally of $91 million in five weeks), Faster (No. 8 and still a massive, massive disappointment after two weeks with $3.9 million this weekend and a paltry $18.1 million overall), newcomer The Warrior’s Way (No. 9 with $3.1 million in its opening weekend) and Russell Crowe’s drastically underperforming The Next Three Days (No. 10 with just $2.6 million and an astonishingly low $18.4 million through three weeks). Dropping out of the top 10 from last week was another film failing to meet expectations, Morning Glory, which tumbled to No. 11 this weekend…….
- Smoking is for losers. That’s been established in this very space time and time again, so any potential suffering and misery from quitting and going through withdrawal is outweighed by all the ways choking down cancer sticks can ruin your life. Still, I appreciate the good folks at Rhode Island’s Brown University who completed a study that found people who were in the process of quitting smoking were never happier. These commendable researchers have just completed their work and published their efforts in the journal Nicotine & Tobacco Research. At the core of the study was the premise that everyone knows that giving up smoking is known to be good for our physical health, but nobody really seemed to know whether the process makes us happy or depressed. Smokers would argue that a) they can quit any time they want to and b) part of not wanting to quit is the absolute agony they will go through in attempting to wean themselves off their death sticks. Those fears are exactly what researcher and author Christopher Kahler took dead aim at when he said the following: "The assumption has often been that people might smoke because it has antidepressant properties and that if they quit it might unmask a depressive episode. What's surprising is that at the time when you measure smokers' mood, even if they've only succeeded for a little while, they are already reporting less symptoms of depression." He went on to explain that smokers thinking of quitting should be encouraged by the double benefit - both physical and mental. Quitting isn’t the nightmare so many smokers fear it to be and the Brown researchers can point to data they examined on 236 male and female smokers who wanted to quit, data that revealed much less psychological suffering from attempts to quit than were expected. Participants were given smoking cessation counseling and nicotine patches and then established a date to officially stop smoking. They all underwent a standardized test for symptoms of depression seven days before they stopped smoking and further evaluations for depression took place 2, 8, 16 and 28 weeks after their quit date. Of the 236 participants, 99 of them never actually quit smoking, while 44 were only found to be smoking free during their first evaluation after the quit date, 33 were smoking-free up to their 8-week check-up and 33 stopped smoking for the duration of the study. Among the quitters, researchers found generally high morale. Only if they relapsed into smoking did their moods decline. As long as they abstained from smoking, their moods were extremely positive. The ones who managed to abstain throughout the study period had the highest levels of happiness. From that data, Kahler and his team extrapolated that link between happiness and smoking cessation is strong, strong enough for the myth of quitting being an agonizing, soul-sucking ordeal to be debunked………
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Google helps FAT people, people don't like celebrity Twitter feeds that much and Arizona State gets what it deserves
- If Google Street View has this much power to inspire FAT people to change their ways, then may I be so bold as to ask why were aren’t utilizing it more. While you do have to walk a fine line when public humiliation is involved, the fact is that Bob Mewse of Bristol, England is a perfect illustration of the power of calling a FAT person out publicly and having them respond in a positive way. Sure, the intent of the creators of Google Street View was not to shame Mewse into changing his unhealthy ways, but that was the end result. About a year ago, Mewse caught an image of himself on Google Street View, Google’s mapping service that uses a 360-degree camera to record images and puts them up for the world to see. At the time the picture was taken, Mewse tipped the scales at a whopping 297 pounds. He was so horrified by his appearance that he immediately decided that he needed to lose weight. He started winning the battle against his sweet tooth and drastically changed his diet for the better. Coupled with the one thing that FAT people the whole world ‘round abhor - exercise - he started losing weight. All it took was one embarrassing side view of him pumping gas and wearing a grey t-shirt that more closely resembled a circus tent in size. "I was horrified when I saw that photo. I was massive. My belly was sticking out and I looked huge. I'd been thinking about losing weight for some time but after seeing that picture, I knew that I actually had to do something about it. I was in such bad condition that I was unable to walk and talk at the same time. My blood pressure was sky-high and I was getting back problems due to the excess weight I was carrying around,” recalled Mewse, who was classed as morbidly obese prior to his weight loss. Now, he weighs in at a relatively svelte 196 pounds and is a regular at the Fitness First gym in Bristol. He works out with a personal trainer, chows down on fruits and salads instead of cupcakes, pies and cookies and believes he can be an example for other flabby fellows and gals around the world. "If I can do this, anybody can – I'm just an ordinary bloke. I feel much healthier now," Mewse said. Here’s hoping the world takes your lead, Mewse……..
- Nice to know that there are still oversensitive people out there ready, willing and eager to overreact at every sleight - real or perceived - and fight for their right to be morons. Witness the scene at West Chester University, near Philadelphia, where a poster calling for a meeting of what was billed as a white student union group became the cause of a major uproar when the intent of those posting it was merely to foster racial understanding. "It was good intention gone awry," said Pam Sheridan, director of public relations and marketing at WCU. She explained that the post was an poorly worded effort to draw students into a discussion about race. Copies of the poster hung on bulletin boards in several campus buildings Tuesday, called on those who "feel underrepresented on campus" or are "uncomfortable in other 'special interest groups' " to go to a meeting Thursday night in Lawrence Hall. The aforementioned oversensitive kooks spotted the fliers and immediately complained to the school’s administration, which investigated the matter - i.e. came down from their plush office with fine carpeting and leather chairs and looked at the fliers or had one of their underlings do it for them. Sheridan admitted that the school did not know who posted the fliers but somehow knew that they were "a very innocent and naive attempt to create some sense of activism." At a relatively small school (enrollment is 14,500) where only 2,300 students are identified as minorities, it’s good to see that oversensitivity and overreaction can still rear their ugly head. School officials even felt compelled to send out an email stating the flier had "caused a great deal of upset and concern on campus.” However, the email went on the concede that, “ In investigating the situation, we have learned that the meeting was, in fact, designed to draw antiracist allies together. There is no White Student Union at West Chester University, and there is no meeting." Still, it’s reassuring to know that if white students wanted to gather just like the Black Student Union, Black Men United and National Association of Black Accountants groups on campus also meet, there would be people who would be angry about it………
- Wow…..that took some kahones. The NCAA has clear rules stating that Division I-A football teams must have at least six wins to qualify for a bowl game and five of those wins must come against fellow Div. I-A teams. In other words, no loading up on Division I-AA cupcakes to pad your win total so your subpar team can survive a sub-.500 conference season and still go bowling. Everyone knows the rules and makes out the schedule without any misguided impressions about what it will take to become bowl-eligible. Yet somehow, some way, Arizona State and its coach, Dennis Erickson, thought they were going to run an end-around on the NCAA and receive a special waiver to play in a bowl game even though they finished 6-6 and two of their wins were over Div. I-AA schools. The appeal was denied on Friday, just hours after the Sun Devils blocked two extra points to beat archrival Arizona in double overtime in what proved to be the final game of their season. Later in the day, Erickson spoke about the decision and oddly enough, seemed surprised at the way it went down. "It is a pretty steadfast rule, but I thought we had a chance in our discussions with the NCAA because of our situation," Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson said. "They didn't OK it and I understand that." To be fair to Arizona State, they did not originally have two I-AA teams on the schedule. Their season opener was supposed to be against I-A San Jose State, but the Spartans pulled out of the game at the last minute and left Arizona State scrambling. The only opponent they could find on short notice was Div. I-AA Portland State, whom they beat handily. The following week, the Sun Devils throttled Div. I-AA Northern Arizona and knew that they would need five wins in their remaining 10 games to qualify for a bowl game. When they lost their sixth game of the season on Nov. 13 to Stanford, that dream was dead. Still, the school applied for the waiver and hoped against hope that it would be granted. When that didn’t happen, Erickson and the administration were left to pick up the pieces as the team ended its third straight season with no bowl game at the end. “It was a powerful way to end the season last night in Tucson," Arizona State athletic director Lisa Love said. "We are disappointed in the outcome that we are not going to a bowl game, but everyone involved worked very hard to make that happen." In the end, I have zero sympathy for Arizona State because the fact remains that neither they nor any other Div. I-A school should have even one I-AA opponent on its football schedule and if the Sun Devils had followed that rule originally, this all could have been avoided………
- Very creative, scumbag thieves in Britain. Using technology to your advantage is one thing, but using Google Earth to target lead roofs on Church of England buildings to sell on the lucrative metals market is quite another. This isn’t just an isolated set of thefts either; nearly 8,000 churches have made insurance claims for lead theft worth about 23 million pounds during the past three years. The Church's estate commissioner Tony Baldry, explained the situation and said that in many cases, churches have replaced their roofs only to be targeted again, in one case 14 times. While it would be fair to argue that this particular church was just asking for it after the third or fourth time if they didn’t install some sort of added security measures or hire a full-time guard to watch the roof, the fact remains that you literally must have no soul if you’re scanning Google Earth images looking for the next house of God you can steal from in order to turn a quick profit on the metals market. Right now, many of the Church of England's 16,000 churches are "listed," which provides planning protection for buildings of historical value, and date back hundreds of years. However, it also makes them more visible targets for thieves and when a church roof is pillaged, it impacts more than simply the building. The effect on the morale of parishioners and communities is devastating," Baldry said in comments released Thursday. “Congregations felt police were reluctant to act, despite growing evidence showing that organized gangs were involved, mirroring the price of lead on the world metal markets. The higher the price of lead, the more churches are stripped of it.” All of this takes place against the backdrop of the worldwide economic crisis affecting nearly every person on the planet, but that still doesn’t excuse the actions of those stealing the lead from church roofs. However, the fact that lead is currently selling for nearly $2,400 per metric ton on the market - up from below $900 at the end of 2008 - makes it clear why criminals are going to any length necessary to keep their business going. "Lead theft is one of the most serious threats at present to the Church of England's churches," Baldry said. "This is a crime that has to be taken seriously. Night after night, lead is being stolen from church roofs, and thieves now use Google Earth to identify targets, including church roofs." Home Office minister, James Brokenshire insisted the government and police take the theft of metals seriously. "We have seen the significant disruption that metal theft causes to critical national infrastructure throughout the United Kingdom," he said at a debate on the issue. "That includes power and transport networks, with the stealing of live copper cable, which has
resulted in death and serious injury for people involved." When your actions back up your words, I think those involved will feel much better………
- Either people aren’t as passionate about raising money for AIDS research as we all thought or they just aren’t that attached to tweets from their favorite celebrities about boring, inane occurrences in their everyday lives as was believed. The idea for “stars” (hard to use the word without air quotes if Ryan Seacrest is involved) to stage their "digital deaths" until $1 million was raised for Alicia Keys' BuyLife.org charity effort. The campaign began in coordination with Wednesday's World AIDS Day and included the social-media-loving stars staging a so-called Digital Life Sacrifice by signing off their Facebook, Twitter and other online communication sites. They were photographed in creepy pictures of them inside coffins to symbolize their digital deaths and vowed to stay social-media silent until $1 million was donated. Usher, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Jennifer Hudson and Ryan Seacrest all joined in on the fund-raising effort and I think the general consensus was that the goal would be met within a few days or maybe a week tops. Looking at a ticker on the BuyLife.org site, as of Friday at noon, a mere $183,493 had been raised in the effort to buy back the stars' online presence. True to their word, those involved in the campaign have remained silent on all social media sites and the top tweet on Seacrest's site read, "Ryan Seacrest would love to chat but he's dead. Buy back his life & fight HIV/AIDS." Umm……no thanks. It’s not that I don’t want to see AIDS eliminated from the world along with other terrible diseases, it’s simply that I don’t give a damn about tweets from a man-blouse-wearing, teeth-bleaching, karaoke-show-hosting tool like Seacrest or a reality TV loser like Kardashian. I find it utterly hilarious that the organizers of the campaign may now have to formulate a plan about what to do if the $1 million goal is not reached. I also love the idea of these “stars,” many of whom rely heavily in Twitter and Facebook to connect with fans and build their brand, fidgeting and stressing over losing that publicity for weeks on end after thinking it would only be a few days. Perhaps if the campaign had been that all of these people would go digitally dead once the $1 million was raised, we would have been well past eight figures by now. Heck, I’d give every dime I will give to charity for the next 50 years to the cause if it will buy me a guarantee that Seacrest will take down his Facebook page, Twitter account and just go away forever………
- Nice to know that there are still oversensitive people out there ready, willing and eager to overreact at every sleight - real or perceived - and fight for their right to be morons. Witness the scene at West Chester University, near Philadelphia, where a poster calling for a meeting of what was billed as a white student union group became the cause of a major uproar when the intent of those posting it was merely to foster racial understanding. "It was good intention gone awry," said Pam Sheridan, director of public relations and marketing at WCU. She explained that the post was an poorly worded effort to draw students into a discussion about race. Copies of the poster hung on bulletin boards in several campus buildings Tuesday, called on those who "feel underrepresented on campus" or are "uncomfortable in other 'special interest groups' " to go to a meeting Thursday night in Lawrence Hall. The aforementioned oversensitive kooks spotted the fliers and immediately complained to the school’s administration, which investigated the matter - i.e. came down from their plush office with fine carpeting and leather chairs and looked at the fliers or had one of their underlings do it for them. Sheridan admitted that the school did not know who posted the fliers but somehow knew that they were "a very innocent and naive attempt to create some sense of activism." At a relatively small school (enrollment is 14,500) where only 2,300 students are identified as minorities, it’s good to see that oversensitivity and overreaction can still rear their ugly head. School officials even felt compelled to send out an email stating the flier had "caused a great deal of upset and concern on campus.” However, the email went on the concede that, “ In investigating the situation, we have learned that the meeting was, in fact, designed to draw antiracist allies together. There is no White Student Union at West Chester University, and there is no meeting." Still, it’s reassuring to know that if white students wanted to gather just like the Black Student Union, Black Men United and National Association of Black Accountants groups on campus also meet, there would be people who would be angry about it………
- Wow…..that took some kahones. The NCAA has clear rules stating that Division I-A football teams must have at least six wins to qualify for a bowl game and five of those wins must come against fellow Div. I-A teams. In other words, no loading up on Division I-AA cupcakes to pad your win total so your subpar team can survive a sub-.500 conference season and still go bowling. Everyone knows the rules and makes out the schedule without any misguided impressions about what it will take to become bowl-eligible. Yet somehow, some way, Arizona State and its coach, Dennis Erickson, thought they were going to run an end-around on the NCAA and receive a special waiver to play in a bowl game even though they finished 6-6 and two of their wins were over Div. I-AA schools. The appeal was denied on Friday, just hours after the Sun Devils blocked two extra points to beat archrival Arizona in double overtime in what proved to be the final game of their season. Later in the day, Erickson spoke about the decision and oddly enough, seemed surprised at the way it went down. "It is a pretty steadfast rule, but I thought we had a chance in our discussions with the NCAA because of our situation," Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson said. "They didn't OK it and I understand that." To be fair to Arizona State, they did not originally have two I-AA teams on the schedule. Their season opener was supposed to be against I-A San Jose State, but the Spartans pulled out of the game at the last minute and left Arizona State scrambling. The only opponent they could find on short notice was Div. I-AA Portland State, whom they beat handily. The following week, the Sun Devils throttled Div. I-AA Northern Arizona and knew that they would need five wins in their remaining 10 games to qualify for a bowl game. When they lost their sixth game of the season on Nov. 13 to Stanford, that dream was dead. Still, the school applied for the waiver and hoped against hope that it would be granted. When that didn’t happen, Erickson and the administration were left to pick up the pieces as the team ended its third straight season with no bowl game at the end. “It was a powerful way to end the season last night in Tucson," Arizona State athletic director Lisa Love said. "We are disappointed in the outcome that we are not going to a bowl game, but everyone involved worked very hard to make that happen." In the end, I have zero sympathy for Arizona State because the fact remains that neither they nor any other Div. I-A school should have even one I-AA opponent on its football schedule and if the Sun Devils had followed that rule originally, this all could have been avoided………
- Very creative, scumbag thieves in Britain. Using technology to your advantage is one thing, but using Google Earth to target lead roofs on Church of England buildings to sell on the lucrative metals market is quite another. This isn’t just an isolated set of thefts either; nearly 8,000 churches have made insurance claims for lead theft worth about 23 million pounds during the past three years. The Church's estate commissioner Tony Baldry, explained the situation and said that in many cases, churches have replaced their roofs only to be targeted again, in one case 14 times. While it would be fair to argue that this particular church was just asking for it after the third or fourth time if they didn’t install some sort of added security measures or hire a full-time guard to watch the roof, the fact remains that you literally must have no soul if you’re scanning Google Earth images looking for the next house of God you can steal from in order to turn a quick profit on the metals market. Right now, many of the Church of England's 16,000 churches are "listed," which provides planning protection for buildings of historical value, and date back hundreds of years. However, it also makes them more visible targets for thieves and when a church roof is pillaged, it impacts more than simply the building. The effect on the morale of parishioners and communities is devastating," Baldry said in comments released Thursday. “Congregations felt police were reluctant to act, despite growing evidence showing that organized gangs were involved, mirroring the price of lead on the world metal markets. The higher the price of lead, the more churches are stripped of it.” All of this takes place against the backdrop of the worldwide economic crisis affecting nearly every person on the planet, but that still doesn’t excuse the actions of those stealing the lead from church roofs. However, the fact that lead is currently selling for nearly $2,400 per metric ton on the market - up from below $900 at the end of 2008 - makes it clear why criminals are going to any length necessary to keep their business going. "Lead theft is one of the most serious threats at present to the Church of England's churches," Baldry said. "This is a crime that has to be taken seriously. Night after night, lead is being stolen from church roofs, and thieves now use Google Earth to identify targets, including church roofs." Home Office minister, James Brokenshire insisted the government and police take the theft of metals seriously. "We have seen the significant disruption that metal theft causes to critical national infrastructure throughout the United Kingdom," he said at a debate on the issue. "That includes power and transport networks, with the stealing of live copper cable, which has
resulted in death and serious injury for people involved." When your actions back up your words, I think those involved will feel much better………
- Either people aren’t as passionate about raising money for AIDS research as we all thought or they just aren’t that attached to tweets from their favorite celebrities about boring, inane occurrences in their everyday lives as was believed. The idea for “stars” (hard to use the word without air quotes if Ryan Seacrest is involved) to stage their "digital deaths" until $1 million was raised for Alicia Keys' BuyLife.org charity effort. The campaign began in coordination with Wednesday's World AIDS Day and included the social-media-loving stars staging a so-called Digital Life Sacrifice by signing off their Facebook, Twitter and other online communication sites. They were photographed in creepy pictures of them inside coffins to symbolize their digital deaths and vowed to stay social-media silent until $1 million was donated. Usher, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Jennifer Hudson and Ryan Seacrest all joined in on the fund-raising effort and I think the general consensus was that the goal would be met within a few days or maybe a week tops. Looking at a ticker on the BuyLife.org site, as of Friday at noon, a mere $183,493 had been raised in the effort to buy back the stars' online presence. True to their word, those involved in the campaign have remained silent on all social media sites and the top tweet on Seacrest's site read, "Ryan Seacrest would love to chat but he's dead. Buy back his life & fight HIV/AIDS." Umm……no thanks. It’s not that I don’t want to see AIDS eliminated from the world along with other terrible diseases, it’s simply that I don’t give a damn about tweets from a man-blouse-wearing, teeth-bleaching, karaoke-show-hosting tool like Seacrest or a reality TV loser like Kardashian. I find it utterly hilarious that the organizers of the campaign may now have to formulate a plan about what to do if the $1 million goal is not reached. I also love the idea of these “stars,” many of whom rely heavily in Twitter and Facebook to connect with fans and build their brand, fidgeting and stressing over losing that publicity for weeks on end after thinking it would only be a few days. Perhaps if the campaign had been that all of these people would go digitally dead once the $1 million was raised, we would have been well past eight figures by now. Heck, I’d give every dime I will give to charity for the next 50 years to the cause if it will buy me a guarantee that Seacrest will take down his Facebook page, Twitter account and just go away forever………
Friday, December 03, 2010
No-fly China, Barbie could help kiddie porn pervs and Papelbon buzz-killed in Boston
- You’ve heard of no-fly zones, now you’ve hard of no-fly lists. And if someone is restricting the rights of non-criminals and non-terrorists when it comes to taking to the friendly skies, want one guess as to which communist, totalitarian regime it would be? For those who guessed anything other than China……you are a moron. Of course the Chinese would detain a renowned Chinese artist and human rights advocate as part of its ever-expanding quest to prevent prominent guests from attending this year's Nobel Peace Prize award ceremony. What a scene it must have been as police officers stopped Ai Weiwei at his gate at the Beijing airport Thursday night, shortly before he was to board a flight to Seoul to plan an upcoming exhibition. "They showed me a handwritten note that said my departure would endanger state security," Ai explained. "This has never happened to me before -- and it was such a barbarian act that disrespected the law. It only highlighted China's abysmal human rights record and reinforced the message why Liu Xiaobo deserves the peace prize." Well, those comments certainly aren’t going to help Ai get on board any plane out of China any time soon. Ironically enough, he also said that he had declined to attend the ceremony due to a scheduling conflict. For the uninformed, Liu, a writer and pro-democracy activist, is serving an 11-year sentence for "inciting subversion of state power." Because of his efforts, the Norwegian Nobel committee awarded him this year's peace prize, which is scheduled to be presented at a ceremony in Oslo on December 10. The decision has been ridiculed by the Chinese government as “part of a Western plot to demonize China.” Those claims have been accompanied by warnings to other nations not to attend the ceremony. "European nations are facing these choices now -- do they want to be part of the political game? Or do they want to act responsibly and develop friendly ties with the Chinese government and people?" Cui Tiankai, a vice foreign minister, said last month. "It they make the wrong decision, they will have to take responsibility for the consequences," he added. Whoa there……that sounds an awful lot like a threat to blow them right off the face of the planet or start World War III. Adding to the drama, Liu Xia, Liu Xiaobo's wife, has been under house arrest since the Nobel announcement on October 8 and police have completely cut off her communication with the outside world and from even contacting her husband's lawyers. Police have also begun monitoring prominent citizens who might have the gall to attend the Nobel ceremony. Besides Ai, prominent economist Mao Yushi was stopped at the Beijing airport Wednesday and barred him from going to Singapore for a meeting. Mao was one of the first people to sign Charter 08, a manifesto calling for political reform and human rights in China co-authored by Liu that landed him in prison. Thanks for reinforcing the fact that in China, human rights are an absurd pipe dream that the average man will be beaten down for aspiring to, Chinese government………
- When your movies make as much money as Robert Downey Jr.’s do, you can probably afford to do a little singing, dancing and show-tuning on Broadway and not catch too much flak for it. Sure enough, the Iron Man star has signed on for an untitled Warner Bros. musical about a pair of Broadway songwriters who end up taking a job at theater camp when their breakthrough musical flops. The project has no title yet, but its
Iron Man is putting on his top hat. spokesperson confirms to EW that the actor The film’s music will be written by Brian Yorkey and Tom Kitt, the Pulitzer and Tony-winning team behind Broadway musical Next to Normal. Oh, and Downey starring in the show might also have a little something to do with the fact that Susan Downey, his wife, will produce. Agreeing to bring your talents and name value to an unheralded musical that your wife is producing will definitely score some major points on the home front and if this one fails, Downey can just go back to blowing sh*t up with Gwyneth Paltrow in Iron Man 3, so no big loss there. Plus, something tells me that his considerable female fan base will enjoy Downey making a foray into theater and buy more than a few tickets to see him sing, dance and do his thing on Broadway whenever this project gets up and running………
- Having long suspected that Barbie and her friends were up to no good, this next bit of news comes as no surprise to me. Body proportions that are anatomically impossible, a wealth of cars, clothes, shoes and homes with no possible means to earn enough money to pay for all of them……something shady was going on. The FBI agrees with me and that’s why the bureau is now warning law agencies about potential dangers posed by the new Barbie Video Girl Doll. The FBI believes that the doll could be used as a tool by pedophiles to make child pornography. So alarmed are the men in black that they posted an alert entitled "Barbie 'Video Girl' a Possible Child Pornography Production Method," in which the bureau said the doll has a built-in hidden camera in the chest and a small LCD screen for video display in her back that could be used by kiddie porn freaks. It is important to note that the FBI "cyber crime alert" doesn't cite any misuse of the doll and given that it has been on the market since July, one has to wonder how much danger truly exists. After all, kiddie porn freaks are a depraved and desperate lot and if there is a way to feed their perverted, sick, twisted fetish, then they probably would have made use of it by now. "FBI investigation has revealed instances where an individual convicted of distributing child pornography had given a Barbie doll to a 6-year-old girl," the alert said. Also in the document were findings of another investigation that found "examples where a concealed video camera had recorded child pornography." That incident didn’t involve a doll, but the FBI did its own math, put two and two together and came up with whatever result would make its case look better. “Law enforcement is encouraged to be aware of unconventional avenues for possible production and possession of child pornography, such as the Barbie Video Girl," the alert said. The alert is standard practice for the FBI, which regularly distributes such messages to help investigators improve policing. Why are they so alarmed about a stupid Barbie doll? Well, the doll's camera can capture 30 minutes of footage, and the video can be downloaded and streamed live to a computer, so some child-porn-loving perv could easily find a way to deflect that onto the Internet, even though the FBI pointed out that but there is no indication it can be streamed directly to the Internet from the doll. The alert was intended for law enforcement agencies only, but someone at the FBI “mistakenly” sent it to media outlets in Seattle. For those of you getting into the heart of your Christmas shopping at this point, the chance to purchase a $49.99 child porn tool has to be enticing, so adjust your gift list accordingly…….
- How can you know that your team views you as completely and totally expendable? When they offer the 42-year-old closer of their biggest rival a two-year, $30 million deal and were prepared to non-tender you if that offer as accepted, that’s how. Welcome to Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon’s world. Just two years ago, Papelbon was considered a rising phenom and a “can’t miss” stud who would fill the closer’s role in Boston for the next decade. Two years, numerous injuries and meltdowns later, he’s just a so-so reliever the team was willing to toss aside if it could sign Mariano Rivera away from the New York Yankees. Never mind that Rivera is 42 years old and that he has pitched his entire career for Boston’s biggest rival; just imagine what a traitor he would have been to jump ship at this point. He would have ruined his own reputation in New York and trashed Papelbon’s career in Boston with one swipe of a pen. As is, the Yankees matched Boston’s offer and Rivera turned down the Red Sox to return to the Yankees and now it’s only Papelbon’s relationship with the Red Sox that is ruined. Sure, the Sox on Thursday night tendered a contract to Papelbon, who was paid $9.35 million last season and is arbitration-eligible, which will elevate his salary into eight figures. Still…..how on Earth can this guy go back and pitch for Boston as if none of this ever happened? He has to be hurt, pissed livid and feeling more than a little betrayed. Even coming off the worst season of his career in 2010, with a 3.90 ERA and eight blown saves, there’s no way Papelbon could have expected this situation to progress the way it has. Should be an interesting time next season, watching the strained relationship between he and the Boston front office move forward……….
- The amount of spam in your email inbox may be a little less going forward now that a Russian man the FBI believes has been responsible for one-third of the spam on the Internet has been arrested and is scheduled to be arraigned in a Milwaukee, Wisc., court Monday. The tool who stands accused of flooding us all with unwanted emails for Viagra, insanely low mortgage rates and messages from Nigerian princes who need $5,000 from us to gain access to a multi-million-dollar fortune is Oleg Nikolaenko, the alleged mastermind of the "Mega-D" spam automated botnet that FBI researchers have been investigating for months as a prime source of selling counterfeit goods. According to court documents and FBI affidavits, "'Mega-D" was likely the largest botnet in the world, accounting for 32 percent of all spam, court documents said. "Security researchers estimated that the botnet was capable of sending ten billion spam email messages a day,” the documents claimed. Sifting through the court documents paints a disturbing picture of just how wide the scope of the alleged counterfeit ring was. For example, the documents allege that Nikolaenko received a payment of $459,098.47 between June 4 and December 5, 2007, resulting from e-mails for those pimping everything from erectile dysfunction drugs, counterfeit prescriptions and "herbal remedies" to fake Rolex watches. The watches provided a major break in the case when a seller of counterfeit Rolexes told authorities after he was arrested that he paid more than $2 million working with spammers to sell his product. He rolled on Nikolaenko and provided police with information that resulted in a trail of information that led officials across several continents, to different e-mail addresses and websites and, eventually, back to Nikolaenko. The joint FBI-Federal Trade Commission investigation into Nikolaenko’s operations dates all the way back to at least 2007, according to documents. His fatal mistake came on Nov. 4, when he was arrested in Las Vegas while visiting Sin City for an auto show. Predictably, Nikolaenko already has a high-priced lawyer fighting for him and Christopher Van Wagner, Nikolaenko's lawyer, insisted that the charges against his client are only accusations. "We're prepared to present a rigorous defense," he said. Whatever you say, C………
- When your movies make as much money as Robert Downey Jr.’s do, you can probably afford to do a little singing, dancing and show-tuning on Broadway and not catch too much flak for it. Sure enough, the Iron Man star has signed on for an untitled Warner Bros. musical about a pair of Broadway songwriters who end up taking a job at theater camp when their breakthrough musical flops. The project has no title yet, but its
Iron Man is putting on his top hat. spokesperson confirms to EW that the actor The film’s music will be written by Brian Yorkey and Tom Kitt, the Pulitzer and Tony-winning team behind Broadway musical Next to Normal. Oh, and Downey starring in the show might also have a little something to do with the fact that Susan Downey, his wife, will produce. Agreeing to bring your talents and name value to an unheralded musical that your wife is producing will definitely score some major points on the home front and if this one fails, Downey can just go back to blowing sh*t up with Gwyneth Paltrow in Iron Man 3, so no big loss there. Plus, something tells me that his considerable female fan base will enjoy Downey making a foray into theater and buy more than a few tickets to see him sing, dance and do his thing on Broadway whenever this project gets up and running………
- Having long suspected that Barbie and her friends were up to no good, this next bit of news comes as no surprise to me. Body proportions that are anatomically impossible, a wealth of cars, clothes, shoes and homes with no possible means to earn enough money to pay for all of them……something shady was going on. The FBI agrees with me and that’s why the bureau is now warning law agencies about potential dangers posed by the new Barbie Video Girl Doll. The FBI believes that the doll could be used as a tool by pedophiles to make child pornography. So alarmed are the men in black that they posted an alert entitled "Barbie 'Video Girl' a Possible Child Pornography Production Method," in which the bureau said the doll has a built-in hidden camera in the chest and a small LCD screen for video display in her back that could be used by kiddie porn freaks. It is important to note that the FBI "cyber crime alert" doesn't cite any misuse of the doll and given that it has been on the market since July, one has to wonder how much danger truly exists. After all, kiddie porn freaks are a depraved and desperate lot and if there is a way to feed their perverted, sick, twisted fetish, then they probably would have made use of it by now. "FBI investigation has revealed instances where an individual convicted of distributing child pornography had given a Barbie doll to a 6-year-old girl," the alert said. Also in the document were findings of another investigation that found "examples where a concealed video camera had recorded child pornography." That incident didn’t involve a doll, but the FBI did its own math, put two and two together and came up with whatever result would make its case look better. “Law enforcement is encouraged to be aware of unconventional avenues for possible production and possession of child pornography, such as the Barbie Video Girl," the alert said. The alert is standard practice for the FBI, which regularly distributes such messages to help investigators improve policing. Why are they so alarmed about a stupid Barbie doll? Well, the doll's camera can capture 30 minutes of footage, and the video can be downloaded and streamed live to a computer, so some child-porn-loving perv could easily find a way to deflect that onto the Internet, even though the FBI pointed out that but there is no indication it can be streamed directly to the Internet from the doll. The alert was intended for law enforcement agencies only, but someone at the FBI “mistakenly” sent it to media outlets in Seattle. For those of you getting into the heart of your Christmas shopping at this point, the chance to purchase a $49.99 child porn tool has to be enticing, so adjust your gift list accordingly…….
- How can you know that your team views you as completely and totally expendable? When they offer the 42-year-old closer of their biggest rival a two-year, $30 million deal and were prepared to non-tender you if that offer as accepted, that’s how. Welcome to Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon’s world. Just two years ago, Papelbon was considered a rising phenom and a “can’t miss” stud who would fill the closer’s role in Boston for the next decade. Two years, numerous injuries and meltdowns later, he’s just a so-so reliever the team was willing to toss aside if it could sign Mariano Rivera away from the New York Yankees. Never mind that Rivera is 42 years old and that he has pitched his entire career for Boston’s biggest rival; just imagine what a traitor he would have been to jump ship at this point. He would have ruined his own reputation in New York and trashed Papelbon’s career in Boston with one swipe of a pen. As is, the Yankees matched Boston’s offer and Rivera turned down the Red Sox to return to the Yankees and now it’s only Papelbon’s relationship with the Red Sox that is ruined. Sure, the Sox on Thursday night tendered a contract to Papelbon, who was paid $9.35 million last season and is arbitration-eligible, which will elevate his salary into eight figures. Still…..how on Earth can this guy go back and pitch for Boston as if none of this ever happened? He has to be hurt, pissed livid and feeling more than a little betrayed. Even coming off the worst season of his career in 2010, with a 3.90 ERA and eight blown saves, there’s no way Papelbon could have expected this situation to progress the way it has. Should be an interesting time next season, watching the strained relationship between he and the Boston front office move forward……….
- The amount of spam in your email inbox may be a little less going forward now that a Russian man the FBI believes has been responsible for one-third of the spam on the Internet has been arrested and is scheduled to be arraigned in a Milwaukee, Wisc., court Monday. The tool who stands accused of flooding us all with unwanted emails for Viagra, insanely low mortgage rates and messages from Nigerian princes who need $5,000 from us to gain access to a multi-million-dollar fortune is Oleg Nikolaenko, the alleged mastermind of the "Mega-D" spam automated botnet that FBI researchers have been investigating for months as a prime source of selling counterfeit goods. According to court documents and FBI affidavits, "'Mega-D" was likely the largest botnet in the world, accounting for 32 percent of all spam, court documents said. "Security researchers estimated that the botnet was capable of sending ten billion spam email messages a day,” the documents claimed. Sifting through the court documents paints a disturbing picture of just how wide the scope of the alleged counterfeit ring was. For example, the documents allege that Nikolaenko received a payment of $459,098.47 between June 4 and December 5, 2007, resulting from e-mails for those pimping everything from erectile dysfunction drugs, counterfeit prescriptions and "herbal remedies" to fake Rolex watches. The watches provided a major break in the case when a seller of counterfeit Rolexes told authorities after he was arrested that he paid more than $2 million working with spammers to sell his product. He rolled on Nikolaenko and provided police with information that resulted in a trail of information that led officials across several continents, to different e-mail addresses and websites and, eventually, back to Nikolaenko. The joint FBI-Federal Trade Commission investigation into Nikolaenko’s operations dates all the way back to at least 2007, according to documents. His fatal mistake came on Nov. 4, when he was arrested in Las Vegas while visiting Sin City for an auto show. Predictably, Nikolaenko already has a high-priced lawyer fighting for him and Christopher Van Wagner, Nikolaenko's lawyer, insisted that the charges against his client are only accusations. "We're prepared to present a rigorous defense," he said. Whatever you say, C………
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Googling yourself, inept coach remain employed and NASA's big day
- The fascination with Googling oneself is something I’ve never quite grasped, but perhaps it’s time for me to start typing my name into the search field on my favorite search site each day because if not, I could find myself wrongly accused of murder like University of Florida freshman Zachary Garcia. Garcia, in between packing on the freshman 15, scanning Facebook for this week’s best kegger and sleeping through his early classes each day, works at a local Publix grocery store in the Gainesville area and figured that he wasn’t a person of interest to much of anyone, let alone the police. That changed this week when he was Googling his name and found out that he was wanted for murder. Several local television stations were reporting at the time that he was wanted for a murder that took place on September 23. Several stations even included his drivers license photo. After getting over the shock of being a murder suspect even though he hadn’t killed anyone - to the best of his knowledge - Garcia began researching the situation and was relieved to find out that police were really looking for Zachery Garcia and had mistakenly released the wrong Garcia's information. Ironically enough, college-student Garcia was born on March 6, 1992 and wanted-for-murder Garcia was born on March 6, 1993. Zachary Garcia was predictably rattled by the incident, saying, "Everybody makes mistakes, I mean I work at Publix and I might get somebody's sub wrong. But for somebody to get, you know, that wrong? It's not a sandwich, you know, it's somebody's life you're playing with." Well said bro, well said. “It’s not a sandwich.” Wisdom to live life by and from here on out, I think I’m going to tell anyone who does something to screw up my life, “It’s not a sandwich, you know, it's my life you're playing with.” So thanks for that one, Zachary Garcia, even if it did land you in the news for suspicion of murder………
- Is there anything that can actually get Mike Locksley fired as the head football coach at the University of New Mexico? Seriously, this guy has done more damage in two seasons than most coaches can do in a decade and he still has a job, a fact school officials confirmed in an announcement on the school's athletics website on Thursday. Locksley, whose team finished 1-11 for the second straight season, was fortunate to win even that one game this season and the Lobos showed virtually no progress from last season to this one. Of course, Locksley’s first season was marked by alleged sexual harassment and discrimination for the mistreatment and dismissal of an administrative assistant in the football office and an altercation in a meeting wherein he punched one of his assistant coaches during an argument. In spite of those incidents and a 1-11 record, Locksley kept his job heading into the 2010 season. He sought to turn things around with help from his new mentor, the patron saint of troubled coaches and athletes, former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy. Maybe it was the impression that Dungy can turn anyone’s life around or perhaps a 34-31 home win over a hapless Wyoming team was more impressive to school officials than it was to me, but for some odd reason, UNM athletic director Paul Krebs says he has finished his evaluation of the football program and determined that Locksley will return next season. He explained that the announcement was made "to quiet speculation about our head football coaching position” and that it was important for recruits to know Locksley is coming back. He did go out of his way to let everyone know that neither he nor Locksley are satisfied with results on the field, but that both of them expect to see improvement in 2011. Why do I find myself suspicious that we’ll see that improvement when next season rolls around……….
- Big day for NASA, which is good to say because the space agency’s budget is shrinking, outer space trips are about to become a thing of the past for the United States and I’ve been extremely worried about how the good folks at NASA will cope. But space missions or no space missions, if NASA can continue unearthing brand-new forms of life that share no biological building blocks with anything currently known on Earth, I remain confident that crisis can be averted. The big find was announced in a press conference held at NASA's Washington D.C. headquarters. Scientists revealed that they had discovered a new form of bacteria, known as GFAJ-1, in California's Mono Lake that has DNA completely foreign to anything ever before found on Earth. The bacteria is particularly unique because it substitutes arsenic at the DNA level for phosphorus. That characteristic distinguishes it from every other form of life known to man. Every other life form, from A to Z, is comprised of the same six elements: phosphorus, sulfur, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen. That’s not the case with the bacteria found in Mono Lake, a location known for its unusual chemistry, including very high levels of salinity, alkalinity, and arsenic. The bacteria is made partly of arsenic and has no phosphorus in its DNA. "We've discovered an organism that can substitute one element for another," said Felisa Wolfe-Simon, a NASA astrobiology research fellow at the U.S. Geological Survey in Menlo Park, Calif. "We've cracked open the door to what's possible for life elsewhere in the universe.” Wolfe-Simon explained that the discovery of a microbe that has a new form of DNA, it will compel scientists to question their long-held belief that all life was based on the same six components. "The newly discovered microbe, strain GFAJ-1, is a member of a common group of bacteria, the Gammaproteobacteria," NASA wrote in a release. "In the laboratory, the researchers successfully grew microbes from the lake on a diet that was very lean on phosphorus, but included generous helpings of arsenic. When researchers removed the phosphorus and replaced it with arsenic, the microbes continued to grow. Subsequent analyses indicated that the arsenic was being used to produce the building blocks of new GFAJ-1 cells." From here, the discovery of this bacteria should have a large role in steering much of NASA’s future research, including microbiology and other areas of study. Props to you for the find, NASA, and much credit for showing that a reduction in funding isn’t going to kill your productivity……..
- Whoa, who saw this coming? The overexposed, spoiled, constantly scrutinized children of two attention-whore reality television cast members are “having anger issues.” If only someone could have looked ahead and seen the potential for disaster when it came to the children of former Jon & Kate Plus 8 parents Jon and Kate Gosselin. But who could have had the foresight to predict that some or all of these kids wouldn’t react well to two ass-hatted parents with minimal IQ points, no class, no sense and no self-respect dragging them and their lives onto basic cable television at a point when they were completely unequipped to adjust to all of the attention and stress? This topic is coming up because two of the Gosselin children, daughter Alexis and son Collin, were allegedly expelled from their school recently over behavioral issues. Gosselin attempted to spin the situation in her favor by claiming that she and the school "mutually agreed" to take the pair out and the two are working with a private tutor. "They were having anger issues, acting out, having behavior things," she said on NBC's "Today" show Wednesday. "They've been the ones to verbalize the most that they miss Daddy. I could see that they're the ones struggling the most. [Collin] was upset and saying things out of frustration - he'd crumple his papers and throw them on the floor. Alexis was angry in a different way. She didn't want to sit still. She'd get up and want to run around. We mutually agreed, we brought them home, I have them with a tutor...she's teaching them one-on-one and they are excelling, along with weekly therapy.” Okay, as long as by “mutually agreed” you mean that the school said your two brats were no longer welcome and you accepted their decision after a bitter argument, then I agree. If ever there was a slam-dunk case against ever being able to put children on reality shows, the Gosselins are it. Not that anyone would be skilled enough as a parent to put their kids under that microscope and have them emerge as anything other than royally f*cked up, but the Gosselins may literally have been the worst possible choice. How do I know that (other than hearing Jon or Kate open their mouth to speak, ever)? Just listen to this brilliant parenting observation by Kate Gosselin about her two expelled children: "My kids are back, they're happy, they're functioning, they're well. All is well again." If this kook thinks all is well in any way, shape or form, then she’s clearly as clueless and delusional as ever………
- Welcome to today’s Friendly Reminder That America is Über-FAT: two cherubic women in Edmond, Okla. were arrested Wednesday for shoplifting and police say they used their bodies to conceal the goods, namely the rolls of disgusting blubber hanging off of their over-taxed frames. Ailene Brown and Shmeco Thomas were arrested for shoplifting and are facing felony charges after store loss prevention officers found the duo stuffing items under their belly fat and breasts. How FAT are these two? According to the police report, the took four pairs of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet and gloves for a total of $2,600 worth of goods from the TJ Maxx discount outlet store in Edmond. "These two were actually concealing them in areas of their body where excess skin was, under their chest area and armpits,” officer James Hamm said. Oh, and Brown also had a knife in her purse that police say she and Thomas used to cut security tags in the store. All told, a fool-proof plan that shows the importance of knowing yourself, knowing your skill set and formulating a plan based on those skills. The only downside is the complete and total stupidity of thinking that you would be able to cram boots, jeans and other items inside your clothing, conceal them beneath your waves of FAT and make it out of the store undetected. While not every department and outlet store is staffed by future Mensa members, most of them still have enough collective IQ points to outsmart two morbidly obese, five-finger-discount-seeking, socially stunted idiots who think that they can just thieve the $2,600 in merch that they have no hope of being able to pay for………
- Is there anything that can actually get Mike Locksley fired as the head football coach at the University of New Mexico? Seriously, this guy has done more damage in two seasons than most coaches can do in a decade and he still has a job, a fact school officials confirmed in an announcement on the school's athletics website on Thursday. Locksley, whose team finished 1-11 for the second straight season, was fortunate to win even that one game this season and the Lobos showed virtually no progress from last season to this one. Of course, Locksley’s first season was marked by alleged sexual harassment and discrimination for the mistreatment and dismissal of an administrative assistant in the football office and an altercation in a meeting wherein he punched one of his assistant coaches during an argument. In spite of those incidents and a 1-11 record, Locksley kept his job heading into the 2010 season. He sought to turn things around with help from his new mentor, the patron saint of troubled coaches and athletes, former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy. Maybe it was the impression that Dungy can turn anyone’s life around or perhaps a 34-31 home win over a hapless Wyoming team was more impressive to school officials than it was to me, but for some odd reason, UNM athletic director Paul Krebs says he has finished his evaluation of the football program and determined that Locksley will return next season. He explained that the announcement was made "to quiet speculation about our head football coaching position” and that it was important for recruits to know Locksley is coming back. He did go out of his way to let everyone know that neither he nor Locksley are satisfied with results on the field, but that both of them expect to see improvement in 2011. Why do I find myself suspicious that we’ll see that improvement when next season rolls around……….
- Big day for NASA, which is good to say because the space agency’s budget is shrinking, outer space trips are about to become a thing of the past for the United States and I’ve been extremely worried about how the good folks at NASA will cope. But space missions or no space missions, if NASA can continue unearthing brand-new forms of life that share no biological building blocks with anything currently known on Earth, I remain confident that crisis can be averted. The big find was announced in a press conference held at NASA's Washington D.C. headquarters. Scientists revealed that they had discovered a new form of bacteria, known as GFAJ-1, in California's Mono Lake that has DNA completely foreign to anything ever before found on Earth. The bacteria is particularly unique because it substitutes arsenic at the DNA level for phosphorus. That characteristic distinguishes it from every other form of life known to man. Every other life form, from A to Z, is comprised of the same six elements: phosphorus, sulfur, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen. That’s not the case with the bacteria found in Mono Lake, a location known for its unusual chemistry, including very high levels of salinity, alkalinity, and arsenic. The bacteria is made partly of arsenic and has no phosphorus in its DNA. "We've discovered an organism that can substitute one element for another," said Felisa Wolfe-Simon, a NASA astrobiology research fellow at the U.S. Geological Survey in Menlo Park, Calif. "We've cracked open the door to what's possible for life elsewhere in the universe.” Wolfe-Simon explained that the discovery of a microbe that has a new form of DNA, it will compel scientists to question their long-held belief that all life was based on the same six components. "The newly discovered microbe, strain GFAJ-1, is a member of a common group of bacteria, the Gammaproteobacteria," NASA wrote in a release. "In the laboratory, the researchers successfully grew microbes from the lake on a diet that was very lean on phosphorus, but included generous helpings of arsenic. When researchers removed the phosphorus and replaced it with arsenic, the microbes continued to grow. Subsequent analyses indicated that the arsenic was being used to produce the building blocks of new GFAJ-1 cells." From here, the discovery of this bacteria should have a large role in steering much of NASA’s future research, including microbiology and other areas of study. Props to you for the find, NASA, and much credit for showing that a reduction in funding isn’t going to kill your productivity……..
- Whoa, who saw this coming? The overexposed, spoiled, constantly scrutinized children of two attention-whore reality television cast members are “having anger issues.” If only someone could have looked ahead and seen the potential for disaster when it came to the children of former Jon & Kate Plus 8 parents Jon and Kate Gosselin. But who could have had the foresight to predict that some or all of these kids wouldn’t react well to two ass-hatted parents with minimal IQ points, no class, no sense and no self-respect dragging them and their lives onto basic cable television at a point when they were completely unequipped to adjust to all of the attention and stress? This topic is coming up because two of the Gosselin children, daughter Alexis and son Collin, were allegedly expelled from their school recently over behavioral issues. Gosselin attempted to spin the situation in her favor by claiming that she and the school "mutually agreed" to take the pair out and the two are working with a private tutor. "They were having anger issues, acting out, having behavior things," she said on NBC's "Today" show Wednesday. "They've been the ones to verbalize the most that they miss Daddy. I could see that they're the ones struggling the most. [Collin] was upset and saying things out of frustration - he'd crumple his papers and throw them on the floor. Alexis was angry in a different way. She didn't want to sit still. She'd get up and want to run around. We mutually agreed, we brought them home, I have them with a tutor...she's teaching them one-on-one and they are excelling, along with weekly therapy.” Okay, as long as by “mutually agreed” you mean that the school said your two brats were no longer welcome and you accepted their decision after a bitter argument, then I agree. If ever there was a slam-dunk case against ever being able to put children on reality shows, the Gosselins are it. Not that anyone would be skilled enough as a parent to put their kids under that microscope and have them emerge as anything other than royally f*cked up, but the Gosselins may literally have been the worst possible choice. How do I know that (other than hearing Jon or Kate open their mouth to speak, ever)? Just listen to this brilliant parenting observation by Kate Gosselin about her two expelled children: "My kids are back, they're happy, they're functioning, they're well. All is well again." If this kook thinks all is well in any way, shape or form, then she’s clearly as clueless and delusional as ever………
- Welcome to today’s Friendly Reminder That America is Über-FAT: two cherubic women in Edmond, Okla. were arrested Wednesday for shoplifting and police say they used their bodies to conceal the goods, namely the rolls of disgusting blubber hanging off of their over-taxed frames. Ailene Brown and Shmeco Thomas were arrested for shoplifting and are facing felony charges after store loss prevention officers found the duo stuffing items under their belly fat and breasts. How FAT are these two? According to the police report, the took four pairs of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet and gloves for a total of $2,600 worth of goods from the TJ Maxx discount outlet store in Edmond. "These two were actually concealing them in areas of their body where excess skin was, under their chest area and armpits,” officer James Hamm said. Oh, and Brown also had a knife in her purse that police say she and Thomas used to cut security tags in the store. All told, a fool-proof plan that shows the importance of knowing yourself, knowing your skill set and formulating a plan based on those skills. The only downside is the complete and total stupidity of thinking that you would be able to cram boots, jeans and other items inside your clothing, conceal them beneath your waves of FAT and make it out of the store undetected. While not every department and outlet store is staffed by future Mensa members, most of them still have enough collective IQ points to outsmart two morbidly obese, five-finger-discount-seeking, socially stunted idiots who think that they can just thieve the $2,600 in merch that they have no hope of being able to pay for………
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Jumping MLB GM's, sleeping with reindeers and drunk, ugly Americans represent
- When he’s not taking a hard line in negotiations with Derek Jeter or taking heat from Hal Steinbrenner about not winning the World Series this year, New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman is apparently something of a daredevil. Cashman, who is widely considered one of the best general managers in baseball, is using part of his offseason to go full-on thrill seeker…..for a good cause. Cashman is scheduled to rappel from the 350-foot Landmark Building in Stamford, Conn., Friday and Sunday as part of the Stamford's Heights and Lights event as a celebrity guest elf. Cashman will don a full harness and rock an elf costume, then humiliate himself by posing as one of Santa's elves. Stamford Downtown president Sandy Goldstein painted a mildly terrifying portrat of Cashman’s stunt, saying the GM will jump off the 22-floor building with no protective netting. This past week, Goldstein asked Cashman if he was scared and Cashman reportedly replied, “Sandy, nothing is scarier than general managing the Yankees.” And lest you think Cashman was guilted into this endeavor, he actually volunteered to take part after witnessing the event last year and lives in nearby Darien. "He indicated he would be really interested doing it so we followed up," Goldstein said. But any member of the Yankees engaging in a stunt like this is bound to draw attention and sure enough, Cashman’s practice leap on Friday morning will be aired on Fox 5 in New York. On Sunday, Cashman will jump off the ledge at 4:30 p.m. ET in the actual event and something tells me that given the Yankees’ loss to Texas in the American League Championship Series, some Yankees fans may silently be praying that the harness malfunctions……just kidding, Yankee fans, I know you all aren’t that crazy and sadistic…..just a few of you. But how stressful must life be, trying to reign Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte and ink free agent Cliff Lee, if jumping off a 350-foot-tall building is a release? If nothing else, the leap will give Cashman a fun story to share with all of his general manager pals as he heads to baseball’s winter meetings, which start Monday in Orlando…………
- Now that people are hooked on their PlayStation3, Xbox 360 or Wii, what’s the next step? Coming up with new accessories to squeeze even more money out of their pockets without having to convince them to buy a whole new video game system, of course! Microsoft appears to have struck gold in that endeavor with the Kinect, the $150 device that allows Xbox users to play video games without a controller. Microsoft announced this week that it has sold more than 2.5 million Kinect devices for the Xbox 360 in its first month on sale. As shoppers were brawling, trading elbows to the kidney and shin kicks in the fight over the hottest items on Black Friday, the Kinect was one of the hottest-selling items at many retailers on the day. The hope for Microsoft was that the Kinect would draw more casual gamers to its video game platform and so far, so good. Whether the Kinect can keep up its success with competition from Sony’s Move gadget for PlayStation, also introduced just in time for the holiday season, is another matter. The big advantage for the Kinect is that unlike Move and the Nintendo Wii, it doesn’t require a controller for game play. Considering the cost of a new video game system and the fact that the Kinect essentially turns an existing system into a whole new gadget, $150 isn’t a bad price. "We are thrilled about the consumer response to Kinect, and are working hard with our retail and manufacturing partners to expedite production and shipments of Kinect to restock shelves as fast as possible to keep up with demand," said Don Mattrick, president of Microsoft's interactive entertainment business, in a statement. Based on current sales, Microsoft predicted that it would sell 5 million Kinects during the holiday season. Nothing screams spirit of the holidays quite like striking it rich………
- Looking forward to The Dark Knight Rises, the upcoming third Batman film from director Christopher Nolan and star Christian Bale? Enjoy it because if the star and the director have their way, it will be the last in the series - at least that they will be a part of. In a recent interview, Nolan called The Dark Knight Rises “the last chapter of our Batman saga.” Bale backed those comments by stating recently that he’s approaching his third Batman film as if it will be his last time playing the caped crusader on the big screen. Nolan was also asked if he would rather be working on an original script instead of a Batman sequel, he was quick to go to the Public Relations for Films 101 handbook, shooting down that suggestion as foolishness. “No, it’s exactly the opposite. I feel very glad that I’m doing another Batman film. I think it would have been daunting to sit down and write an original script after Inception. I love working within the realm and rules of our Batman world. It’s kind of nice to have someplace to go that I’m super-excited about,” Nolan explained. All sarcasm aside, Nolan’s take on the Batman franchise has been infinitely better and superior in cinematic quality to the previous Batman movies, which all look incredibly cheesy and tacky by comparison. Oddly enough, Nolan credited the massive success of his most recent blockbuster, Inception, as being a huge asset in tackling the third Batman movie. “I must say that I’m glad — I’m very, very glad — to be embarking on the last chapter of our Batman saga without any sense of obligation or duty to the studio. They did very well with Inception. So I’m able to go into finishing our story in a very enthusiastic way.” If the first two Batman movies he has directed are any indication, the third installment will be raw, gritty, jarring and extremely entertaining………
- And some of you still wonder why the ugly American stereotype still exists. Not that I didn’t see plenty of evidence as to why that’s the case as I traveled around Europe this summer, but California resident Rick Ehlert has stepped up to provide even more data to support the stereotype while on a Holland America cruise ship recently. The cruise was temporarily disrupted early Saturday morning by an intoxicated Ehlert, who released the ship's anchor and a life buoy between 5:25 a.m. and 5:55 a.m., according to an affidavit. Thankfully, no one was injured and no damage was done to the MS Ryndam because of this drunken jackass, even though the release of the anchor could have caused "significant damage to the ship's rudder or propeller, which could disable the ship's ability to maneuver, or puncturing of the ship, which could result in sinking or severe flooding," according to the affidavit. I’m certain that everyone looking for an uneventful, midnight-buffet-fueled trip from Costa Maya, Mexico, to Tampa, Florida was thrilled to have their trip waylaid by some liquored-up ass hat who got hammered and went looking for mischief. There’s no mistaking Ehlert’s culpability in the case, as a surveillance video shows him taking multiple steps to deploy the anchor while the ship was in motion. The ship was traveling as less than its maximum speed, which is approximately 25 mph, at the time of the anchor drop. Ehlert found himself having a friendly chat with special agents from the FBI after the incident and confessed to dropping the ship's anchor and being intoxicated at the time. He also copped to including entering an area marked as off-limits to passengers in order to deploy the anchor. "There is probable cause to believe on November 27 that Rick Ehlert did attempt to damage, destroy, disable, or wreck a vessel," FBI agent John Manning stated in the affidavit. Ford the record, Ehlert received exactly what he deserved for his hijinks, as he was arrested Sunday on a felony charge and taken into custody. Drunk, felonious and ruining other people’s vacations…..ugly Americans live………
- Would you like to a) visit one of the world’s coolest cities, b) be part of a museum exhibit and c) sleep with 24 golden canaries and a dozen reindeer? If so, hitch a ride to Berlin and get in on the fun at the Hamburger Bahnhof museum, where you’ll find an incredibly popular, one-of-a-kind exhibit that allows visitors to nap with canaries and reindeer as part of an effort to acquaint the public with spiritual Hinduism. Of course, museum officials realize that the combination of reindeer and the approaching holidays has many visitors thinking just one thing: Christmas. Oddly enough, the apparent misperception and tendency to use one's own culture to interpret the customs of others is part of what artist Carsten Hoeller wants to highlight. "That irony has to do with our need for fixed points of reference," curator Dorothee Brill said. The exhibition, called "Soma" — also includes a patch of giant mushroom sculptures (not that kind of ‘shrooms, stoners) — is named for the legend of a hallucinogenic drink Hindi religious leaders supposedly used 5,000 years ago in their religious ceremonies. Soma is believed to be the magical elixir of the gods within the Hindi religion and as early as the 1960s, anthropologists began drawing comparisons between the Soma ritual and similar religious practices of ancient Siberian nomads. The story goes that both the Siberians and ancient Soma drinkers used the hallucinogenic fly agaric mushroom. "Carsten plays out this fantasy using reindeer who eat wild mushrooms," Brill said. As for the interactive part of the exhibit, guests can rent a single revolving bed in the middle of the reindeer herd for 1,000 euros ($1,363) per night. Visitors who have plunked down the high price for one night of sleep have raved about the experience, even if sleeping is difficult with noisy reindeer milling around. The exhibit is set up with the bed at the end of a long room on a raised circular platform that overlooks the reindeer enclosure. Tall white railings keep the reindeer and guests separated at all times, so no worries there. So popular is the exhibit that all available dates through the end of the exhibit in February, six nights a week, are booked up. Brill said the exhibit has been one of the museum's most popular ever, with more than 20,000 visitors passing through in the past month. Many more will have the same chance, as the exhibit runs through February, after which the reindeer will be returned to their owner in Sweden. In other words, get to Berlin soon, see an amazing city full of history and culture and then spend the rest of your trip budget sleeping in a museum surrounded by reindeer……..
- Now that people are hooked on their PlayStation3, Xbox 360 or Wii, what’s the next step? Coming up with new accessories to squeeze even more money out of their pockets without having to convince them to buy a whole new video game system, of course! Microsoft appears to have struck gold in that endeavor with the Kinect, the $150 device that allows Xbox users to play video games without a controller. Microsoft announced this week that it has sold more than 2.5 million Kinect devices for the Xbox 360 in its first month on sale. As shoppers were brawling, trading elbows to the kidney and shin kicks in the fight over the hottest items on Black Friday, the Kinect was one of the hottest-selling items at many retailers on the day. The hope for Microsoft was that the Kinect would draw more casual gamers to its video game platform and so far, so good. Whether the Kinect can keep up its success with competition from Sony’s Move gadget for PlayStation, also introduced just in time for the holiday season, is another matter. The big advantage for the Kinect is that unlike Move and the Nintendo Wii, it doesn’t require a controller for game play. Considering the cost of a new video game system and the fact that the Kinect essentially turns an existing system into a whole new gadget, $150 isn’t a bad price. "We are thrilled about the consumer response to Kinect, and are working hard with our retail and manufacturing partners to expedite production and shipments of Kinect to restock shelves as fast as possible to keep up with demand," said Don Mattrick, president of Microsoft's interactive entertainment business, in a statement. Based on current sales, Microsoft predicted that it would sell 5 million Kinects during the holiday season. Nothing screams spirit of the holidays quite like striking it rich………
- Looking forward to The Dark Knight Rises, the upcoming third Batman film from director Christopher Nolan and star Christian Bale? Enjoy it because if the star and the director have their way, it will be the last in the series - at least that they will be a part of. In a recent interview, Nolan called The Dark Knight Rises “the last chapter of our Batman saga.” Bale backed those comments by stating recently that he’s approaching his third Batman film as if it will be his last time playing the caped crusader on the big screen. Nolan was also asked if he would rather be working on an original script instead of a Batman sequel, he was quick to go to the Public Relations for Films 101 handbook, shooting down that suggestion as foolishness. “No, it’s exactly the opposite. I feel very glad that I’m doing another Batman film. I think it would have been daunting to sit down and write an original script after Inception. I love working within the realm and rules of our Batman world. It’s kind of nice to have someplace to go that I’m super-excited about,” Nolan explained. All sarcasm aside, Nolan’s take on the Batman franchise has been infinitely better and superior in cinematic quality to the previous Batman movies, which all look incredibly cheesy and tacky by comparison. Oddly enough, Nolan credited the massive success of his most recent blockbuster, Inception, as being a huge asset in tackling the third Batman movie. “I must say that I’m glad — I’m very, very glad — to be embarking on the last chapter of our Batman saga without any sense of obligation or duty to the studio. They did very well with Inception. So I’m able to go into finishing our story in a very enthusiastic way.” If the first two Batman movies he has directed are any indication, the third installment will be raw, gritty, jarring and extremely entertaining………
- And some of you still wonder why the ugly American stereotype still exists. Not that I didn’t see plenty of evidence as to why that’s the case as I traveled around Europe this summer, but California resident Rick Ehlert has stepped up to provide even more data to support the stereotype while on a Holland America cruise ship recently. The cruise was temporarily disrupted early Saturday morning by an intoxicated Ehlert, who released the ship's anchor and a life buoy between 5:25 a.m. and 5:55 a.m., according to an affidavit. Thankfully, no one was injured and no damage was done to the MS Ryndam because of this drunken jackass, even though the release of the anchor could have caused "significant damage to the ship's rudder or propeller, which could disable the ship's ability to maneuver, or puncturing of the ship, which could result in sinking or severe flooding," according to the affidavit. I’m certain that everyone looking for an uneventful, midnight-buffet-fueled trip from Costa Maya, Mexico, to Tampa, Florida was thrilled to have their trip waylaid by some liquored-up ass hat who got hammered and went looking for mischief. There’s no mistaking Ehlert’s culpability in the case, as a surveillance video shows him taking multiple steps to deploy the anchor while the ship was in motion. The ship was traveling as less than its maximum speed, which is approximately 25 mph, at the time of the anchor drop. Ehlert found himself having a friendly chat with special agents from the FBI after the incident and confessed to dropping the ship's anchor and being intoxicated at the time. He also copped to including entering an area marked as off-limits to passengers in order to deploy the anchor. "There is probable cause to believe on November 27 that Rick Ehlert did attempt to damage, destroy, disable, or wreck a vessel," FBI agent John Manning stated in the affidavit. Ford the record, Ehlert received exactly what he deserved for his hijinks, as he was arrested Sunday on a felony charge and taken into custody. Drunk, felonious and ruining other people’s vacations…..ugly Americans live………
- Would you like to a) visit one of the world’s coolest cities, b) be part of a museum exhibit and c) sleep with 24 golden canaries and a dozen reindeer? If so, hitch a ride to Berlin and get in on the fun at the Hamburger Bahnhof museum, where you’ll find an incredibly popular, one-of-a-kind exhibit that allows visitors to nap with canaries and reindeer as part of an effort to acquaint the public with spiritual Hinduism. Of course, museum officials realize that the combination of reindeer and the approaching holidays has many visitors thinking just one thing: Christmas. Oddly enough, the apparent misperception and tendency to use one's own culture to interpret the customs of others is part of what artist Carsten Hoeller wants to highlight. "That irony has to do with our need for fixed points of reference," curator Dorothee Brill said. The exhibition, called "Soma" — also includes a patch of giant mushroom sculptures (not that kind of ‘shrooms, stoners) — is named for the legend of a hallucinogenic drink Hindi religious leaders supposedly used 5,000 years ago in their religious ceremonies. Soma is believed to be the magical elixir of the gods within the Hindi religion and as early as the 1960s, anthropologists began drawing comparisons between the Soma ritual and similar religious practices of ancient Siberian nomads. The story goes that both the Siberians and ancient Soma drinkers used the hallucinogenic fly agaric mushroom. "Carsten plays out this fantasy using reindeer who eat wild mushrooms," Brill said. As for the interactive part of the exhibit, guests can rent a single revolving bed in the middle of the reindeer herd for 1,000 euros ($1,363) per night. Visitors who have plunked down the high price for one night of sleep have raved about the experience, even if sleeping is difficult with noisy reindeer milling around. The exhibit is set up with the bed at the end of a long room on a raised circular platform that overlooks the reindeer enclosure. Tall white railings keep the reindeer and guests separated at all times, so no worries there. So popular is the exhibit that all available dates through the end of the exhibit in February, six nights a week, are booked up. Brill said the exhibit has been one of the museum's most popular ever, with more than 20,000 visitors passing through in the past month. Many more will have the same chance, as the exhibit runs through February, after which the reindeer will be returned to their owner in Sweden. In other words, get to Berlin soon, see an amazing city full of history and culture and then spend the rest of your trip budget sleeping in a museum surrounded by reindeer……..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)