- The fascination with Googling oneself is something I’ve never quite grasped, but perhaps it’s time for me to start typing my name into the search field on my favorite search site each day because if not, I could find myself wrongly accused of murder like University of Florida freshman Zachary Garcia. Garcia, in between packing on the freshman 15, scanning Facebook for this week’s best kegger and sleeping through his early classes each day, works at a local Publix grocery store in the Gainesville area and figured that he wasn’t a person of interest to much of anyone, let alone the police. That changed this week when he was Googling his name and found out that he was wanted for murder. Several local television stations were reporting at the time that he was wanted for a murder that took place on September 23. Several stations even included his drivers license photo. After getting over the shock of being a murder suspect even though he hadn’t killed anyone - to the best of his knowledge - Garcia began researching the situation and was relieved to find out that police were really looking for Zachery Garcia and had mistakenly released the wrong Garcia's information. Ironically enough, college-student Garcia was born on March 6, 1992 and wanted-for-murder Garcia was born on March 6, 1993. Zachary Garcia was predictably rattled by the incident, saying, "Everybody makes mistakes, I mean I work at Publix and I might get somebody's sub wrong. But for somebody to get, you know, that wrong? It's not a sandwich, you know, it's somebody's life you're playing with." Well said bro, well said. “It’s not a sandwich.” Wisdom to live life by and from here on out, I think I’m going to tell anyone who does something to screw up my life, “It’s not a sandwich, you know, it's my life you're playing with.” So thanks for that one, Zachary Garcia, even if it did land you in the news for suspicion of murder………
- Is there anything that can actually get Mike Locksley fired as the head football coach at the University of New Mexico? Seriously, this guy has done more damage in two seasons than most coaches can do in a decade and he still has a job, a fact school officials confirmed in an announcement on the school's athletics website on Thursday. Locksley, whose team finished 1-11 for the second straight season, was fortunate to win even that one game this season and the Lobos showed virtually no progress from last season to this one. Of course, Locksley’s first season was marked by alleged sexual harassment and discrimination for the mistreatment and dismissal of an administrative assistant in the football office and an altercation in a meeting wherein he punched one of his assistant coaches during an argument. In spite of those incidents and a 1-11 record, Locksley kept his job heading into the 2010 season. He sought to turn things around with help from his new mentor, the patron saint of troubled coaches and athletes, former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy. Maybe it was the impression that Dungy can turn anyone’s life around or perhaps a 34-31 home win over a hapless Wyoming team was more impressive to school officials than it was to me, but for some odd reason, UNM athletic director Paul Krebs says he has finished his evaluation of the football program and determined that Locksley will return next season. He explained that the announcement was made "to quiet speculation about our head football coaching position” and that it was important for recruits to know Locksley is coming back. He did go out of his way to let everyone know that neither he nor Locksley are satisfied with results on the field, but that both of them expect to see improvement in 2011. Why do I find myself suspicious that we’ll see that improvement when next season rolls around……….
- Big day for NASA, which is good to say because the space agency’s budget is shrinking, outer space trips are about to become a thing of the past for the United States and I’ve been extremely worried about how the good folks at NASA will cope. But space missions or no space missions, if NASA can continue unearthing brand-new forms of life that share no biological building blocks with anything currently known on Earth, I remain confident that crisis can be averted. The big find was announced in a press conference held at NASA's Washington D.C. headquarters. Scientists revealed that they had discovered a new form of bacteria, known as GFAJ-1, in California's Mono Lake that has DNA completely foreign to anything ever before found on Earth. The bacteria is particularly unique because it substitutes arsenic at the DNA level for phosphorus. That characteristic distinguishes it from every other form of life known to man. Every other life form, from A to Z, is comprised of the same six elements: phosphorus, sulfur, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen. That’s not the case with the bacteria found in Mono Lake, a location known for its unusual chemistry, including very high levels of salinity, alkalinity, and arsenic. The bacteria is made partly of arsenic and has no phosphorus in its DNA. "We've discovered an organism that can substitute one element for another," said Felisa Wolfe-Simon, a NASA astrobiology research fellow at the U.S. Geological Survey in Menlo Park, Calif. "We've cracked open the door to what's possible for life elsewhere in the universe.” Wolfe-Simon explained that the discovery of a microbe that has a new form of DNA, it will compel scientists to question their long-held belief that all life was based on the same six components. "The newly discovered microbe, strain GFAJ-1, is a member of a common group of bacteria, the Gammaproteobacteria," NASA wrote in a release. "In the laboratory, the researchers successfully grew microbes from the lake on a diet that was very lean on phosphorus, but included generous helpings of arsenic. When researchers removed the phosphorus and replaced it with arsenic, the microbes continued to grow. Subsequent analyses indicated that the arsenic was being used to produce the building blocks of new GFAJ-1 cells." From here, the discovery of this bacteria should have a large role in steering much of NASA’s future research, including microbiology and other areas of study. Props to you for the find, NASA, and much credit for showing that a reduction in funding isn’t going to kill your productivity……..
- Whoa, who saw this coming? The overexposed, spoiled, constantly scrutinized children of two attention-whore reality television cast members are “having anger issues.” If only someone could have looked ahead and seen the potential for disaster when it came to the children of former Jon & Kate Plus 8 parents Jon and Kate Gosselin. But who could have had the foresight to predict that some or all of these kids wouldn’t react well to two ass-hatted parents with minimal IQ points, no class, no sense and no self-respect dragging them and their lives onto basic cable television at a point when they were completely unequipped to adjust to all of the attention and stress? This topic is coming up because two of the Gosselin children, daughter Alexis and son Collin, were allegedly expelled from their school recently over behavioral issues. Gosselin attempted to spin the situation in her favor by claiming that she and the school "mutually agreed" to take the pair out and the two are working with a private tutor. "They were having anger issues, acting out, having behavior things," she said on NBC's "Today" show Wednesday. "They've been the ones to verbalize the most that they miss Daddy. I could see that they're the ones struggling the most. [Collin] was upset and saying things out of frustration - he'd crumple his papers and throw them on the floor. Alexis was angry in a different way. She didn't want to sit still. She'd get up and want to run around. We mutually agreed, we brought them home, I have them with a tutor...she's teaching them one-on-one and they are excelling, along with weekly therapy.” Okay, as long as by “mutually agreed” you mean that the school said your two brats were no longer welcome and you accepted their decision after a bitter argument, then I agree. If ever there was a slam-dunk case against ever being able to put children on reality shows, the Gosselins are it. Not that anyone would be skilled enough as a parent to put their kids under that microscope and have them emerge as anything other than royally f*cked up, but the Gosselins may literally have been the worst possible choice. How do I know that (other than hearing Jon or Kate open their mouth to speak, ever)? Just listen to this brilliant parenting observation by Kate Gosselin about her two expelled children: "My kids are back, they're happy, they're functioning, they're well. All is well again." If this kook thinks all is well in any way, shape or form, then she’s clearly as clueless and delusional as ever………
- Welcome to today’s Friendly Reminder That America is Über-FAT: two cherubic women in Edmond, Okla. were arrested Wednesday for shoplifting and police say they used their bodies to conceal the goods, namely the rolls of disgusting blubber hanging off of their over-taxed frames. Ailene Brown and Shmeco Thomas were arrested for shoplifting and are facing felony charges after store loss prevention officers found the duo stuffing items under their belly fat and breasts. How FAT are these two? According to the police report, the took four pairs of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet and gloves for a total of $2,600 worth of goods from the TJ Maxx discount outlet store in Edmond. "These two were actually concealing them in areas of their body where excess skin was, under their chest area and armpits,” officer James Hamm said. Oh, and Brown also had a knife in her purse that police say she and Thomas used to cut security tags in the store. All told, a fool-proof plan that shows the importance of knowing yourself, knowing your skill set and formulating a plan based on those skills. The only downside is the complete and total stupidity of thinking that you would be able to cram boots, jeans and other items inside your clothing, conceal them beneath your waves of FAT and make it out of the store undetected. While not every department and outlet store is staffed by future Mensa members, most of them still have enough collective IQ points to outsmart two morbidly obese, five-finger-discount-seeking, socially stunted idiots who think that they can just thieve the $2,600 in merch that they have no hope of being able to pay for………
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