- The ass hats at the Parents Television Council are at it again. Yes, the kooks who object to everything on the airwaves more risqué than June, Ward and the Beav with their classic 1950s Americana values. Past targets have included MTV’s teen drama “Skins” and various storylines in the fake world of professional wrestling, but the PTC has never been angrier over offensive entertainment options than they are about MTV’s new scripted series “I Just Want My Pants Back.” The series is a relationship comedy with a cast of young adults who act….well, like young adults. They drop profanities regularly, have random hookups and engage in sexually-charged conversations. That doesn’t sit well with the conserva-Nazis of the PTC, who are attacking the show’s sponsors because they believe MTV is targeting 12-year-old children with the show’s adult-appropriate content. “Once again MTV is taking HBO-style content and marketing it to a Nickelodeon-age audience,” says PTC president Tim Winter. “The network programming executive is on the record saying 12-year-olds are in his crosshairs. And the TV-14 content rating is intentionally misleading for parents and for advertisers. The Parents Television Council will not sit silently and allow this affront to go unchallenged.” Wow, look at you, PTC. The fearless guardians of all that is good, right and pure in the world. Of course, leaning on the network and show directly won't work because neither gives a damn what a bunch of far-right wing prudes think about their work. Attacking advertisers is better because as anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of the broadcasting world knows, advertising is how television (and radio) makes money. No one is disputing that MTV’s target demo is 12 to 34, but so far nothing Winter said really carries a lot of weight. To get his point across, he really needs a verbal kill shot. So whatcha got, PTC Chief Ass Hat? : “All of MTV’s advertisers, including Dr. Pepper, T-Mobile and Toyota, will be asked if foursomes and a woman who tells her sexual partner to ‘stick a finger in my a**’ are an accurate reflection of their hard-earned corporate brands,” Winter proclaimed. Oooh, that sounds fierce. No way the PTC doesn’t win this battle by TKO……….
- This is a first. Athletes are frequently suspended from their sport for using performance-enhancing drugs that give them an unfair advantage over their peers. Synthetic testosterone, drugs that mask the use of other PEDs, human-growth hormone…the list goes on and on. Mostly, athletes are looking for anything to give them an edge, whether it’s recovering more quickly from injuries or being able to push themselves harder and longer in the weight room than everyone else. Former University of Memphis star Roburt Sallie is not like those other PED-loving players. Sallie, who never played in the NBA but spent last year playing in Europe, was cut by his Spanish team a couple months ago. Being released is common for Americans playing in Europe, as most leagues have limits on the number of foreigners a team can have on its roster and players bounce around quite a bit. But the reason Sallie was released is something that must be heard several times to fully believe. See, Sallie sought an edge from a little bottle of pills and he wanted to take something that would make him more dominant……in the bedroom. That’s right, after playing 20 minutes and scoring five points in a Nov. 18 game, Sallie took a drug test and failed. Asked if he was taking any medications, he admitted to taking pills for crank enhancement. These drugs have numerous names and are pushed incessantly on television and the Internet, with the most common brand that is publicly known being Extenze. In short, the pills promise to add length to a dude’s manhood. Unfortunately for Sallie, not only was he revealed to be lacking in size below the belt, but such drugs can sometimes result in testing positive for excessive testosterone. He has since clarified that he did not take Extenze, but male enhancement pill called “Black Ant,” as if that makes any difference at all. Two lessons can be taken from Sallie’s saga: 1) Cheating is still cheating no matter what you’re trying to accomplish and 2) Size may matter, just not enough to jeopardize your livelihood…………
- Uh-oh. The race for instigating World War III has a new entrant and although they are a bit of an underdog, the Israelis should not be taken lightly. Not blessed with a legacy of insanity and instability like North Korea and Iran, Israel is nonetheless right in the middle of international drama now that Israeli Public Security Minister Yitzhak Aharonovitch vowed Wednesday that his country will "settle the score" with the perpetrators of a bombing attempt in Bangkok. Aharonovitch referred to an incident in which an Iranian man carrying grenades blew his own legs off in the blast, wounding four civilians in what appeared to be an attempted terrorist attack backed by Iran. Israel was already on edge following a pair of attacks on Israeli diplomatic targets in India and Georgia and when Aharonovitch went on Israel Radio Tuesday, he did not directly accuse Iran but hinted that Israel would seek revenge. "We know who carried out the terror attacks, we know who sent them, and Israel will settle the score with them," he said. Aharonovitch also claimed security forces found more explosives in the house where the Iranian man was staying in Bangkok but had not identified possible targets. Bangkok Police Gen. Pansiri Prapawat said a passport found at the scene of one of the blasts in Bangkok indicated the assailant was Saeid Moradi from Iran. Tehran did not respond to requests for comment on the incident, although despot Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s regime did deny responsibility for the attacks in Georgia and India. Oddly enough, both attacks seemed eerily similar to the recent "sticky bomb" killings of Iranian nuclear scientists that Tehran has blamed on Israel. Israeli officials have gone to the truly dubious extreme of suspecting the attacks are merely the first in a wave of assaults on Israeli targets worldwide by Iran and its Lebanese counterpart Hezbollah. Mix in existing tensions over Iran’s nuclear program and well, this could escalate quickly. The bizarre nature of the Thailand incident is difficult to fully comprehend, as an unusual sequence of explosions appeared to begin when a stash of explosives detonated by accident in a Bangkok house occupied by three Iranians. Those explosions blew the roof off the building and two men fled, leaving behind a wounded man identified as Saeid Moradi. “He tried to wave down a taxi, but he was covered in blood, and the driver refused to take him," Pansiri said. Moradi didn’t handle rejection well and threw an explosive that hit the taxi and damaged it and began running. When police responded to the scene and pursued him, Moradi chucked a grenade at them but it somehow ricocheted back and blew off his legs, Pansiri said. It definitely sounds like Iran (allegedly) could use some more competent terrorists………
- Details of the iPad 3 are scarce as Apple goes into typical lockdown mode with a highly anticipated new gadget is nearing release. But one detail about the latest version of the company’s best-selling tablet has leaked out and it is a big one. According to multiple sources, the iPad 3 will support the LTE 4G networks of both AT&T and Verizon Wireless, meaning the nation's two largest network operators will sell the device. iPad 3 users will be able to surf the Internet at 4G speeds while also having support for the older 3G networks. AT&T and Verizon Wireless are the only network operators that sell the iPad 2, with one version for AT&T's HSPA+ network and a separate version for Verizon's CDMA-EVDO network. Ideally, Apple would create a single version to cover all networks, similar to the iPhone 4S. Tablets have the inner space to accommodate the necessary radios to provide support for LTE 4G for both AT&T and Verizon, so that should not be an issue. Sprint and T-Mobile could be candidates for their own version of the iPad 3, as an iPad built to work on Verizon's 3G network could technically also work on Sprint's 3G network. At present, Verizon's LTE network is live in 200 markets around the United States and has a coverage area of about 190 million people. The company’s 4G footprint is modest buy growing and Verizon expects to have much of the country covered by 2013. With download speeds between 5 Mbps and 12 Mbps and uploads of 2 Mbps to 5 Mbps, 4G LTE is a major upgrade….when it works correctly. AT&T’s LTE network is much smaller and is operational in just a dozen markets, covering 90 million users with speeds similar to those offered by Verizon. Price points for the iPad 3 have not been announced, but Apple has consistently charged $130 more for cellular-equipped iPads when compared to the Wi-Fi-only models. Those who want to be at the front of the tech wave will still buy in, but whether non-tech dorks will do the same is the bigger question………
- Hero or unhinged, overreactive idiot: Tommy Jordan is one or the other, depending on your point of view. Jordan, a Stanly County, N.C. resident who went viral after posting a video in which he responded to his teenage daughter complaining on Facebook about her chores by busting out his sidearm and blasting her computer, has earned his 15 minutes from the video. In the video, titled "Facebook Parenting for the troubled teen," he pulls out his gun and terminates the laptop’s existence after asking two rather pointed questions. “Pay you for chores?” Jordan said in the video. “Are you out of your mind?” Yes, he had the gall to ask his daughter if she was out of her mind before committing technological manslaughter on a dated laptop. The video received more than 21 million views in five days and also inspired visits from the local police and child protective services. Jordan, a former Marine, wrote on his Facebook page that Child Protective Services officials came to his home on Saturday and interviewed he and his daughter after viewers of the video called with concerns about his actions and mental stability. Police officers also stopped by although if Jordan’s Facebook account of their meeting is to be believed, they didn’t exactly drop the hammer on him. “The police by the way said ‘Kudos, sir,’ ” Jordan wrote. "I actually had a "thank you" from an entire detectives squad. And another police officer is using it in a positive manner in his presentation for the school system. How’s about those apples? Didn’t expect THAT when you called the cops did you?” Umm, someone sounds angry……still. Jordan doesn’t seem like the sort of person you want to antagonize, does he? The Stanly County Sheriff's Office said there are no laws against what Jordan did, so they will not be investigating the matter. Jordan maintained that he did not regret making the video but would make a few small tweaks if he could do it again. "Not be smoking a cigarette ... not have used the word "ass" in my comment directed at my daughter ... would have worn my Silverbelly Stetson, not my Tilley hat if I'd known that image was going to follow me the rest of my life and I'd probably have cleaned my boots," he cracked. Very funny, you gun-toting psycho. Nothing like some quality parental overreaction to a simple matter. The one positive to come from the saga is an ice cream shop in the town of Stanley offering Jordan's daughter a gig………….
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