- Which celebrities annoy the heck out of the average American - at least the average American with the time and inclination to respond to a Parade Magazine poll on which celebrity annoys them the most? Before answering the question, it’s important to establish what constitutes a celebrity. The person need not have actual talent, nor must they have contributed anything of worth to the world. They do not need to be intelligent and the world need not miss them if they moved to an empty desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean for the rest of their natural life. Having established those parameters, the possible answers for the question are both numerous and easy to surmise. At the top of the list is someone who has contributed nothing to the world, doesn’t seem to be very intelligent and has yet to showcase any worthwhile talents other than being über-hot: reality TV airhead Kim Kardashian. The newly minted Mrs. Kris Humphries received 29 percent of the votes in Parade’s poll, barely edging out suddenly reformed nutcase Charlie Sheen, who finished second with 27 percent of the poll. They were followed up by easily the least-talented, most world-draining entry on the list, Jersey Shore resident Oompa-Loompa Nicole “Snooki” Pollizi. Pollizi garnered 21 percent of the votes and that was enough to fend off someone who could be the second most-talented choice on the list behind Sheen, troubled actress/coke addict/alcoholic/frequent rehab resident Lindsay Lohan, with 16 percent. After those four, there was a sizeable drop-off in the amount of votes received, all the way down to 5 percent by blowhard/megalomaniac/Rosie O’Donnell verbal excoriate-er Donald Trump. Voters clearly haven’t watched the clip of Trump verbally pummeling O’Donnell (here) enough times because if they had, he would not have received a single vote. Last on the list, with a scant 1 percent, was former Bachelor tool Brad Womack. Womack may have received more votes if only he were known by more than a 1/100th of America’s population. Taken in its totality, the list seems to indicate one fact above all others: Reality TV peeves a lot of Americans. And yet they continue to tune in…………
- While we all realize that NASA’s budget has been slashed by the federal government and the agency is no longer in the business of shooting people into outer space, is it too much to ask that NASA’s nerds keep track of the space junk they have created? Sure, a recent NASA-sponsored report from the National Research Council found that the space agency needs a better plan for dealing with this space junk, but the problem appears more urgent than originally communicated. See, NASA scientists are still not sure exactly where pieces of a huge, defunct satellite landed after re-entering Earth's atmosphere this morning and these same brilliant minds acknowledged that "we may never know" the whereabouts of the Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite (UARS). While early evidence suggests that the debris landed somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, recovering the satellite’s remains could be virtually impossible. NASA chief orbital debris scientist Nicholas Johnson spoke about the issue during a conference call with media members Saturday afternoon and explained that data from the Department of Defense's Joint Space Operations Center (JSOC) indicate that UARS fell to the Earth sometime between 11:23pm Eastern Friday night and 1:09am Saturday morning. In that window, the satellite passed over Canada, the African continent, and the Pacific, Atlantic, and Indian Oceans. The most likely point for its fall, according to the JSOC’s calculations, is off the West Coast of the U.S. "There were several folks along the western coast of North America, the U.S. Northwest, and Canadian Southwest who were looking to observe UARS as it came over," Johnson said. "Every one of those attempts came up negative, [so] that would suggest that re-entry did happen before it reached the North American coast [and] that most of this debris fell into the Pacific Ocean." Suggest? Shouldn't you be more sure than "suggest" would indicate? Even if the data is consistent with predictions made by the Inter-Agency Space Debris Coordination Committee (IADC) - and it is - that doesn't mean Americans should feel good about NASA's capability (or lack thereof) to track its own space junk. "We're now waiting to see if we can verify that," Johnson said. "If it came down over one of the oceans, of course, that's going to be problematic." Sounds great, Nicky. The only way NASA even knew UARS was no longer in space was by sending out sensors to locate it and receiving no response. Once it enters Earth's atmosphere……all bets are off. "Most of the time, we do rely heavily on people on the ground," Johnson said. "UARS, whether it came in during local day or night, would've been clearly visible, so if we continue to have a lack of reports, particularly in Canada or Africa … that would typically give further credence to the fact that it's probably over the water." That the UARS came crashing back to Earth was probably overdue, as the satellite was launched in 1991 by the Space Shuttle Discovery. It fulfilled its mission to measure ozone and chemical compounds found in the ozone layer, as well as winds and temperatures in the stratosphere and the energy input from the sun. It was officially decommissioned on December 14, 2005 and has since been drifting aimlessly through space ever since. Now, it’s final resting place may never be known…………
- In most ways, it has always been as if Russian Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin never left as the country’s president/dictator in disguise. Putin, who supposedly transformed post-Soviet Russia but really found clever ways to keep the old communist ways alive and well, continually created new and repressive ways to impose even more state control on the daily lives of Russians. Even when he “left” office and became prime minister, few doubted his heavy influence on all that supposed President Dmitri A. Medvedev did or said. Thus, it came as no surprise that Medvedev announced at a party convention in Moscow that he would step aside for Putin to return to power. Worse yet for Russians, Putin could remain as president until 2024. His first stint from 2000-08 was not a great time for Russia and its forced end by term limits in the country’s constitution didn’t exactly cause most Russians so shed tears of sorrow. When Putin wins March’s presidential election (and he will), Medvedev is to take his place as prime minister. For evidence of this reality, look no further than the massive tsunami of applause that swept over the hall where 11,000 members of Mr. Putin’s party, United Russia, gathered to hear Medvedev’s speech. Putin was sitting in the audience during the speech and looked on with a certain smug self-assurance, as in, “I freaking ruled this place with an iron fist for eight years and grabbed control of every single Russian’s daily life, never really gave it up and now I’m BACK, baby!” Pundits have been asking for years if Putin would ever relinquish his grip on power and the answer is clearly no, as in never. Medvedev’s presidency will have the legacy of being an orchestrated falsity designed solely to fill the mandatory gap between Putin’s official turns in power. Putin himself has admitted that the two men crafted their plan long ago “I want to say directly: An agreement over what to do in the future was reached between us several years ago,” Putin said. “What we are recommending to the convention, it is a deeply thought-out decision,” Medvedev added. “Moreover, we really discussed this possible turn of events at the time when we formed our comradely union.” That “comradely union” (see, communism IS alive and well in Russia) could well drive a massive wedge between Russia and the United States, as Medvedev had developed something of a positive rapport with President Barack Obama. There is some dissatisfaction with Putin and his leadership within Russia, but there is also little evidence that this unhappiness will show up in March’s vote. Sadly, the political and judicial reforms Medvedev has called for now look like nothing more than an elaborate ruse designed to tease Russians into expecting real change. The rest of the world can only grimace and brace for impact of the Putin-ator’s return……….
- Typically, anyone making $18 million a year on a terrible team while posting subpar statistics would keep their mouth shut, try to ignore the fact that they need to rock a ski mask and gun when they pick up their paycheck every two weeks and not make trouble. Chicago Cubs leftfielder Alfonso Soriano is not willing to go so quietly into this good night and even though his team is 70-88, 27 1/2 games out of first place and in fifth place in the National League Central, Soriano is doing his damndest to make it all about him. That would appear to be a bad idea for a player hitting .244 with just 85 RBI, but don’t tell Soriano that. He is angry about the way the club treated him this year by batting him mostly in the seventh spot in the lineup. "I'm not a guy that fights with people," Soriano whined. "The way they treat me this year, I don't like it. The way they have me hit in the No. 7, 5 and 6 spots, I have trouble concentrating on the job hitting in those different spots. But [Mike] Quade is the manager and does his best to try to make the team better." Way to throw in that your manager is in fact the manager and “tries to make the team better.” Prior to Saturday’s game against St. Louis (another loss for the Cubs), Soriano had 203 at-bats in the seventh spot -- the most for any spot in the order. Oddly enough, he is batting .258 with 13 home runs and 40 RBIs in the position, better than his numbers in the sixth spot (.233, 9 HR, 26 RBI) or the fifth spot (.224, 3 HR, 17 RBI). When asked why he didn’t speak with Quade earlier in the season about his dissatisfaction with his spot in the lineup, Soriano said: "I don't think I should go to his office because I'm not like that. That's not me. He puts me in the seventh spot, and he thinks we can win like that then I'm OK with that.” Oh, okay……so you’re “not like that” in terms of talking directly with someone with whose decisions you have a problem, but you are the sort of person who blasts that same someone in the media. Makes good sense, no doubt. Unfortunately for both the Cubs and Soriano is that he signed an eight-year, $136 million contract with the team in 2006. No one is trading for a player with his salary and lackluster statistics and unless they want to cut him and still pay the remainder of the money owed to NOT play for the team, there is no good solution…………
- Can the animal lovers at the In Harmony With Nature animal haven in Orlando really be expected to fend for the health, well-being and survival of our feathered, furry, scaly and slimy friends if they can't even keep track of the ones in their custody? It seems like a pertinent question to ask now that the preserve’s employees are now scouring the greater Orlando area for a 50-pound Sulcata Tortoise that escaped from the facility last week. The massive tortoise is a 13-year-old female named Terp that needs special care from the staff at In Harmony With Nature, the organization said. Tips from the public have placed Terp at several locations around Orlando, but like any eyewitness testimony these accounts have proven good for next to nothing. The Sulcata Tortoise is native to northern parts of Africa and isn't likely to fare well on its own in a town teeming with tourists whose primary focus is paying $200 (approximate) for admission to Disney World to have their picture taken with a person in a giant mouse costume and ride the Tower of Terror. Most of the Terp spottings have been centered in the Forest Trails neighborhood off Clarcona-Ocoee Road. In Harmony With Nature sent out a search team after the report came in, but staffers arrived too late to catch Terp. Another sighting was reported Saturday afternoon by two people who claimed they saw a man struggling to get a large tortoise into the back of a white cargo van. There have been no other sightings, so perhaps these helpful citizens were telling the truth. In case they are mistaken, In Harmony With Nature is updating the public on the search and fliers have been posted around the city just in case people spot a 50-pound Sulcata Tortoise and don’t think to call animal control. In Harmony With Nature is offering a reward for Terp’s safe return and asking anyone with information on the tortoise’s whereabouts to call immediately…………
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