- Rihanna, you have company. No longer are you the only one publicly lamenting the nightmare of spending quality time in close quarters with R&B hack Chris Brown. Of course, no one’s phone was destroyed and no one was physically assaulted (that we know of yet) in this particular incident, but that doesn’t mean Brown’s neighbors in West Hollywood consider him to be any less of a “nightmare.” Neighbors are reportedly upset that Brown is somehow holding late-night dog races at the apartment complex, parking in handicapped spaces (L.A. Lakers center Andrew Bynum, you have company!) and blasting loud music. The loud music claim is boring beyond belief because it’s the same freaking complaint that stodgy, boring, old people the whole world ‘round make every day about their neighbors. Parking in handicapped spaces isn't as interesting either because the singer's lawyer Mark Geragos claims the West Hollywood condo developer didn't disclose that the spaces were reserved for the handicapped and that the condo’s deed shows the two spaces belong to Brown. That sounds like a complicated and potentially confusing situation to delve into, so let’s just focus on the fact that an award-winning (but still horrible) recording artist is accused of conducting dog races in the hallways around the “block” his condo is located on. These must be some hellaciously big hallways if Brown and his fellow loser friends are able to hold dog races in them. Dogfighting rings in barns and basements, sure, but dog racing rings in the hallways of condo complexes? That’s a first. Assuming you didn’t actually have to put up with that nonsense, how hilarious is the mental picture of a bunch of degenerates crowding into the dim hallway of some West Hollywood condo complex, screaming at dogs as they race around and try not to wipe out into a potted plant or end table? If the people who show up at legit, legal dog racing tracks to watch races are some of the biggest and most depressing lowlifes around, how much worse do Brown and his friends look with their operation? Oh, and there is also the allegation from unidentified neighbors that someone carved the initials "CB" on the communal elevator door. What that has to do with Chris Brown, I’m not sure. Here’s hoping Brown handles this little disagreement better than he did his dispute with Rihanna or the incident back in March following an outburst on Good Morning America in March where he smashed a studio window backstage after the show's interviewer Robin Roberts asked about Rihanna………..
- One of the many joys of living in the United States is the frivolous lawsuit, in which a party - typically wronged in some very minor way - seeks to cash in on a wrong that probably warrants nothing more than a simple apology by suing for thousands or even millions of dollars. When people from other countries, cultures and religious backgrounds begin to understand an embrace this trend, it is indeed a beautiful thing, almost as if they are coming to understand what it truly means to be an American. That’s exactly what is happening in Edison, N.J., where a simple mistake in the kitchen of an overpriced restaurant has led to an especially absurd and frivolous lawsuit. Seems that a group of strict Hindu vegetarians went to eat at the Mughal Express restaurant. The group ordered a small tray of vegetable samosas at a bloated cost of $35. Either the server or the chef made a mistake and sent out meat simosas instead, thus perpetuating a great religious, cultural and dietary affront upon the Hindu diners. Sure, the group made it clear to their server that there could be no meat in their meal, but millions of diners in all manner of restaurants across the United States have their explicitly stated special orders screwed up every day and they don’t sue, so that excuse doesn’t hold merit. Durgesh Gupta and Sharad Agrawal claim a restaurant employee assured them that it did not make meat samosas, according to court documents. Approximately 30 minutes later, the two men picked up a tray labeled "VEG samosas." When Gupta, Agrawal and their group of 16 friends began eating the samosas, they grew suspicious that they may in fact be chowing down on meat products. Sure enough, the triangular deep-fried pastries were not vegetarian and the restaurant admitted it had made a mistake, court documents showed. Any vegetarian in Gupta and Agrawal’s position would likely be offended and angry. In this case, those in their group believed they were complicit in inflicting death and injury to God's creatures. The Absurd-O-Meter is about to go haywire, by the way, so brace yourself. The vegetarians sued Mughal Express - located in the heart of Edison's Indian community - sued Mughal Express seeking…..wait for it……compensation for a trip to the Hindu holy town of Haridwar, India, where the Ganges begins its downward flow to the ocean to take ceremonial dips in the river to, by Hindu belief, cleanse their souls of sin. These clowns want the restaurant to reimburse them for the entire cost of the trip. Thankfully, a lower court ruled against the plaintiffs and the case seemed destined to go away……until this week, when an appellate court reversed that decision. Sadly, there may actually be a precedent for this sort of case and it slants in favor of the plaintiffs. In 2002, McDonald's Corp. paid $10 million to Hindu and vegetarian groups to settle a lawsuit against the company for failing to disclose that beef flavoring was used in its fries. On a hopeful note, that can involved the widespread serving of meat-tainted food and McDonald’s had not been forthright about the content of its products, as opposed to a single accident in one New Jersey restaurant. Some Hindu groups have smartly pointed out that the religion’s teachings instruct followers to be forgiving, but that idea seems to be lost on these money grubbers in their shameless attempt at tort abuse…………
- So not everyone is a fan of the centaur, it seems. Half-man, half-horse specimen may be good enough for the Preakness to use as its mascot (long live Kegasus!), but if a group of British researchers has its way, any research involving the combination of animal and human DNA will be subject to much stricter controls. The group is advocating the formation of a new regulatory group to oversee experiments that mix animal and human DNA because there are a few types of experiments that could “approach social and ethically sensitive areas.” All centaur jokes aside, human-animal hybrids are actually very common — at least on a genetic, cellular level. Within the last two months, scientists have engineered mice to express a human form of hemophilia and cows able to produce milk with human characteristics. Additionally, human DNA is frequently inserted into mice to study cancer. Those are some of the more sane, reasonable experiments. There are also the kook-tastic ones, like fertilizing human eggs in animals or using human cells to fundamentally alter animal brains? If we want that, all we need to do is pay $10 at our local movie theater to see the latest crappy Planet of the Apes remake. But rest assured, there are (non-cinematic) scientists who believe these sorts of experiments could be beneficial and for that reason, this particular group of British scientists believe a regulatory group should be formed to oversee them. “Where people begin to worry is when you get to the brain, to the germ (reproductive) cells, and to the sort of central features that help us recognize what is a person, like skin texture, facial shape and speech,” said Martin Bobrow, a professor of medical genetics at the University of Cambridge. Bobrow led a group from Britain’s Academy of Medical Sciences that examined creating animals with human facets, so he does seem qualified to speak on the topic. The controversy stems largely from the fact that three years ago, researchers in the United Kingdom planned to make human embryos with the nucleus hollowed out of cow eggs, which was intended to make a new supply of stem cells that could be used to treat a wide range of diseases. When science does get to the point where a real centaur is possible, that may be the definitive sign of a need to regulate these types of experiments more closely…………
- Plenty of big-name NBA players have either threatened to play overseas during the league’s ongoing lockout or signed deals with foreign teams, but Dallas Mavericks forward and NBA Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki is taking a slightly different approach to the question of whether to hoop it up internationally during the work stoppage. Nowitzki has laid surprisingly low since winning his first NBA title, surfacing only in a letter responding to Forbes magazine naming him the Association’s most marketable star. He has made no proclamations and dropped no hints about playing professionally overseas during the lockout, but he will suit up for Germany at the upcoming European Championship when Olympic berths will be at stake. With the Germans needing a high finish at the championships to secure an Olympic berth, Nowitzki said he'd "like to help the young German team have success." He will be joined by Los Angeles Clippers big man Chris Kaman, who also committed to the team because it’s not officially a major international sporting event unless a few teams have players who were not born in and have never lived in their country but are technically able to represent said nation because their parents or grandparents hailed from there. The European Championship is Aug. 31-Sept. 18 in Lithuania and the two finalists qualify for the 2012 Olympics in London. Germany must battle its way through a true basketball meat grinder of a group that includes hardwood dynasties France, Italy, Serbia, Latvia and Israel. Playing for his national team might not send quite the message to NBA owners that signing a contract with a foreign team would, but Nowitzki has made it clear that he simply wants to play basketball and enjoy success on the court as opposed to being a global icon or spokesman for anything………….
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! The scene in Syria Friday was truly inspiring and uplifting as hundreds of thousands of Syrians across the country took to the streets in direct defiance of a brutal crackdown by security forces. At protests across the country, the aim was the same: demanding the end of President Bashar al-Assad’s government. In a predictable response to the uprising, armed forces loyal to the government opened fire on protesters in several towns and cities. Four fatalities were reported by protestors and antigovernment activists and another protester died Friday from wounds sustained this month in the central city of Hama. The overarching theme of Friday’s demonstrations was unity. Taking to the streets on this particular day was especially inspiring, as the protests took place one week after an onslaught of bloodshed in Homs, Syria’s third-largest city, claimed the lives of at least two dozen people. Certain worrywarts have fretted that Friday’s violence could portend a dangerous turn in the four-month popular uprising against Assad, but when the common man rises up to demand the ouster of a despot who has been in power since 2000, true rebels appreciate the gesture. “We are all one, not Arabs, not Kurds, not Muslims, not Christians, not Alawites, not Druze. We all want freedom,” shouted protesters in Dara’a, an downtrodden town in southwestern Syria. Impressively, the protests were sparked by a group of inspiring teenagers detained for scrawling antigovernment graffiti on a wall. What isn't good about these protests is demonstrators’ insistence that their movement is peaceful. First, no one believes that BS and second, peaceful protests are boring and lame. Stick with allegations that the government is trying to instigate strife among Syria’s religiously mixed society and build your angry revolt from there. Play up the attempts to create strife between the Sunni Muslim majority and the many sizable religious and ethnic minorities. For doubters of potential change that can result from the uprising, look no further than its ability to maintain its momentum since starting in mid-March. The number of protestors on the streets have increased steadily and those numbers have risen in spite of stricter security measures and heavy gunfire. Security forces are clamping down heavily in the capital of Damascus deploying a large number of troops beginning at dawn, setting up checkpoints and conducting house-to-house raids to arrest suspected activists. The four protestors killed Friday all died in different locations, ranging from rural towns to suburbs to large cities. The day’s largest protests were reported in Homs and Hama, both in central Syria, and in Deir al-Zour, in the northeast along the Iraqi border. “Despite the siege, people managed to go out and participate in demonstrations,” said Omar Idlibi, a spokesman for the Local Coordination Committee, an umbrella group that helps plan and document protests. “Arresting activists and shooting at demonstrators continued today. Nothing has changed.” Truly an inspiring sight and a sign that Assad’s government should not feel secure or confident about its ability to remain in power. Putting an exact total on the number of protestors killed since the revolt began is virtually impossible, but human rights groups estimate the tally to be at least 1,400. All the more reason to continue striking back at The Man…………
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