- It is definitely time to amend the statement, “The only certain things in life are death and taxes.” With all due respect to Mark Twain, he forgot to include one key component in that mix: morons. I am sure that morons existed in Twain’s time, there are simply more chances for these tools to shine in the 21st century on account of YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and the cable news world. That means we “get” the chance to know idiots more quickly and closely than we have any need for. People like an unidentified Clemson, S.C. man who decided to engage in a real-life game of the classic “Frogger” video game become instant celebrities even though they clearly have nothing of worth to contribute to the world. Laughing at them for five minutes is nice, but we all go on with our lives and forget that there are unfortunate souls in this world who have to put up with these knobs all day, every day. This anonymous fool was with friends near the intersection of Highway 123 and College Avenue Monday evening (and I’m guessing that one or more of them were heavily intoxicated at the time), their conversation turned to the classic arcade game "Frogger." The game is still something of a cult favorite among gamers and was even the subject of a classic episode of the 90s sitcom Seinfeld. In the episode, Jason Alexander’s character attempts to hook an old “Frogger” machine up to a portable power source and move it from a soon-to-be demolished pizza parlor to his apartment to save his high score on the game. While moving it, he finds himself in a real-life version of the game, trying to move across a busy New York street and avoid onrushing traffic. That action mirrored the game, in which players move frogs through traffic on a busy road and through a river filled with hazards. Either the Seinfeld episode or the game itself inspired this group of buffoons and at some point, according to Clemson police Chief Jimmy Dixon, the drunken idiot in question yelled “go” and darted into oncoming traffic, where he was struck by a 2010 Lexus SUV. For some odd reason, police have refused to announce this clown’s name so he can receive the scorn and derision he is due. That hasn’t prevented him from becoming a hit on both news and gaming sites around the world. Unfortunately, he survived the collision and no charges will be filed against the driver of the Lexus or the “Frogger,” police said. In these situations, the best outcome is for the IQ-deprived party to attempt something insane enough to remove themselves from the gene pool and exit this world in the inglorious fashion for which they always seemed destined………
- Life as a Cleveland sports fan is miserable right now. And while that’s nothing new for residents of C-Town, the misery has reached epic new heights over the past six months or so. For a city that hasn’t won a championship in any major sport for more than half a century, one might ask how the sports landscape could become any bleaker or sadder. For one, having one of your hometown heroes rip your heart out on national teleivison in the debacle known as “The Decision” is a great start point for any adventure of pain and torture. If that were the extent of Cleveland’s current misery, then its residents could concentrate their hatred on LeBron James and move forward. But that pain was compounded when the Indians, who have provided the most reason for optimism over the past 25 years or so before ripping fans’ hearts out in their own sadistic way, followed a 97-loss campaign in 2009 with a 93-loss season in 2010, finishing with the seventh worst record in Major League Baseball and two games out of last place. There was not a single glimmer of hope for competitiveness all season and by the All-Star break, all hope had been beaten out of Cleveland fans by opposing teams’ batsmen. Knowing that the Cavs were destined for a terrible season minus LeBron, Cleveland fans chose to plunge themselves directly into irrational hope that their unquestioned favorite of their teams, the Browns, would surge to competitiveness behind new team president Mike Holmgren. Those hopes appeared on the verge of coming true after back-to-back defeats of the powerful New England Patriots and defending world champion New Orleans Saints, even though the Browns were still 3-5 after those wins. In the end, the Browns went Browns, losing six of eight down the stretch, finishing 5-11 and doing just enough to get coach Eric Mangini fired after two unproductive seasons. Which leaves Cleveland with……the Cavs for the next three-plus months. How are those Cavs doing? How does 8-26 - the NBA’s worst record - strike you? Better still, how does a seven-game losing streak and dropping 17 of your last 18 games sound? The latest inglorious defeat came at home Sunday night, with the Cavs capping a day in which the Browns were massacred 41-9 in their regular-season finale by the rival Pittsburgh Steelers by dropping a 104-95 decision to a Dallas team playing without star Dirk Nowitzki. But teams don’t need their stars when playing the Cavs and reserves Shawn Marion (22 points) and DeShawn Stevenson (21) both players notched their season-highs to pace the Mavs to a win. Sure, Cleveland played without two starters, center Anderson Varejao (broken cheekbone) and guard Daniel Gibson (bruised thigh), but does anyone really think they would have won with two second-tier starters if Dallas had also been at full strength? Only two Cavs players scored in double figures and coach Byron Scott succinctly evaluated his team’s effort. "We didn't have enough guys play well," Cleveland coach Byron Scott said. "That's pretty much the bottom line. When you're playing against a good team like Dallas, it can't be just two guys. You have to have four or five guys play well." Instead, Scott’s team received predictably erratic and poor efforts from inexperienced players Manny Harris, Alonzo Gee and Christian Eyenega, who all played significant minutes due to the team’s injured starters. "It's always tough," Scott said. "The whole situation we're right now is tough." Tough would be one way to describe it. Miserable and depression-inducing would be another………
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Everyone’s favorite overview of social dissidence ‘round the world is visiting a small town in southeastern China, where some angry villagers and police clashed outside on Saturday, one week to the day after a popular local leader there died under unclear circumstances. Even eyewitnesses to the clashes were afraid to go on the record about what they saw for fear of retaliation. Still, accounts of the melee had villagers hurling rocks at police at a major intersection on a road between the towns of Hongqiao and Puqi, outside of the city of Wenzhou. After this inspiring display of anti-establishment force, authorities gave chase, predictably overrated and beat some and while arresting others, witnesses said. As you would expect from an oppressive, controlling regime, the Chinese government made certain that the story did not appear in its official state media and did not release an official statement on the uprising by the end of the weekend. Amateur video of the riot was sent to international media outlets and the grainy video showed police and groups of pissed-off locals gathering around a busy intersection like a group of kids showing up to see two rivals fight it out. Any time that occurs, it is only a matter of when - and not if - something will be done to light the fuse and set it off. In this case, a rock being lobbed into the crowd was that spark. The skirmish came in the wake of regional media reports that villagers were planning a protest march in response to Qian Yunhui's death and its aftermath. That march was scheduled to begin at 9 a.m. Saturday in the town of Hongqiao and at precisely 9 a.m., anti-riot and traffic police appeared at major intersections in the area to prevent the protest. Faced with the blockade, protestors began to retreat from the town and toward the village of Zhaiqiao, the hometown of Qian. The anger over his death comes just one week after it occurred and as details of what happened are still unclear. All that is definitively known is that Qian was killed in Yueqing city on December 25, and photos of his corpse underneath the wheel of a large truck with his eyes shut, mouth half-open with blood streaming out and his head detached from his crushed body have become omnipresent in the online world, especially in China. The government concocted a ridiculous story about how Qian died in an ordinary traffic accident and detained the truck driver to provide a degree of plausibility to their tale. Dissidents immediately spun conspiracy theories about how Qian was murdered by local officials for advocating villagers' rights in a land dispute. Alleged eyewitnesses to his death claimed Qian was held down to the ground by three masked men as a heavy truck slowly drove over his neck. For those doubting a possible conspiracy, realize that Qian was a powerful anti-government voice over the past several years on multiple issues and of course, the Chinese government doesn’t handle disagreements with its officials positions very well……….
- Color me flabbergasted. Literally, my flabber is gasted. Hearing that two dietary weight-loss supplements sold as "100% all natural" could in fact be deadly caught me completely off guard. Learning that FDA testing confirmed they contained the banned weight-loss drug sibutramine was equally perplexing, given the always-stellar reputation and high standards of quality the makers of these fine products always adhere to. In this case, the FDA has received a number of adverse event reports related to Fruta Planta and Reduce Weight Fruta Planta, prompting the marketer of these two supplements to issue a “voluntary” recall. That might be a good idea when your products have been lined to multiple cardiac events and one death. Sibutramine was banned from the United States in October due to an increased risk of stroke and myocardial infarction, may also cause patients to experience elevated blood pressure or pulse rate; may increase risk to patients with a history of coronary artery disease, congestive heart failure, arrhythmias, or stroke; and may have negative and life-threatening interactions with some drugs. Now maybe I’ve just oversensitive on this sort of thing, but those sounds like extremely scary possibilities to me. Anyone in possession of Fruta Planta and Reduce Weight Fruta Planta are advised by the FDA to immediately stop using the product and throw any remaining samples away in a sealed container or return the product to the marketer, PRock Marketing of Kissimmee, Fla. If you experience negative side effects, suffice it to say that you should make a run to your local healthcare professional before you get around to returning the tainted capsules……….
- Dammit! WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! I AM NOT GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN, FOX! IS THE MOVIE ADAPTATION OF 24 GOING TO BE MADE OR NOT? Sorry for the yelling, but I had to channel my inner Jack Bauer in order to properly discuss anything 24-related. Fact is, I AM angry. For months now, ever since the spring series finale of Fox’s hit spy drama featuring the diminutive Kiefer Sutherland, fans like myself have been looking forward to one final bad day with Jack Bauer thanks to the in-the-making big-screen adaptation of the show. We even knew what the plot was going to be: Jack Bauer heading to Europe and dealing with a terror threat of some sort in London. It sounded good, all of the key players were on board……and then Fox took a dump in the bunch bowl by rejecting the script from writer Billy Ray. That has put the movie on life support and those involved aren’t sure what is next. "As far as I know, it is in suspended animation," series executive producer Howard Gordon explained. "There is talk about re-approaching it. I understand (director) Tony Scott is meeting with Kiefer [Sutherland] to talk about ideas. People are still talking about it." A revamped film would still be set some time after the show's series finale, but other pertinent details could be changed in order to sell the script. Sutherland has professed his excitement about keeping the franchise alive through this movie and despite the recent setback, Gordon remains optimistic about 24's big-screen ambitions. "I was disappointed [Fox] passed on the script but I'm certainly hopeful that the movie will get made at some point," Gordon said. "Anecdotally, I've heard from people who are really missing the show and I do think there is more life in Jack Bauer.” You should know better than anyone, Howard, that there is ALWAYS life left in Jack Bauer………
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