- Options are always important in life, even when it comes to the source from which you get your leaked, top-secret government documents. For far too long, we’ve been reliant on WikiLeaks to fill this need. Thankfully, (accused) sexual deviant Julian Assange and his crew are no longer the only game in town. One of Assange’s former underlings, Dominic Domscheit-Berg, has launched OpenLeaks, a rival site that will differ from WikiLeaks in a few key ways but ultimately serve the same purpose. Domscheit-Berg parted ways with Assange after the two had a major falling out because Domscheit-Berg believed Assange was acting like “some kind of emperor or slave trader,” and that the focus was revolving around the site and personalities, rather than the actual content of the leaks. In other words, too much about style and not enough about substance. That inspired him to leave WikiLeaks and begin working on his own docu-leaking site. The name OpenLeaks implies an open, free-wheeling system and for the most part, that’s exactly what Domscheit-Berg claims it will be. OpenLeaks will operate an open system and won’t decide what to leak and when. The site will merely be a tool, if you will, a platform for sources to anonymously leak data themselves to chosen media organizations. It will then be up to those publishing organizations to verify the material, and not OpenLeaks. Absolving yourself of any blame or fault should leaked information be complete bullsh*t is a nice play, although OpenLeaks will reportedly offer some manner of legal advice service to publishers on how to handle more difficult material. Domscheit-Berg is also attempting to position his site not as a competitor to WikiLeaks, but the next evolutionary step in the online “leaks” program. That’s also a smart move in case his operation flops miserably and gets curb-stomped by WikiLeaks within a few monts………
- Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio), allow me to quote my main man Ron Burgundy here: I don’t believe you. Just as Ron refused to believe it when a production assistant told him that he was actually on the air to begin a news broadcast, I cannot and do not believe you when you insist that you have used no outside assistance or product of any kind to attain or maintain that freakish, Oompa Loompa-like orange glow that you exhibit every time you pop up on my TV screen. Boehner’s bizarrely orange skin has been the subject of as much debate as anything he’s actually done in the House of Representatives and with good reason: either he’s a big, fat liar or he’s a member of an alien race distinguished by its orange skin and propensity for adhering to asinine tax laws that don’t work in any fashion whatsoever. "I've never been in a tanning salon in my life," John Boehner said. "I've never used a tanning product in my life." As I said, Johnny boy, either you are lying through your teeth or you’re an alien from a planet where the orange people run free and have their citrus-like hue revitalized by the rays of the sun each and every day. Personally, I’m a bit alarmed by a member of Congress who so closely resembles something that freak Willy Wonka kept in that creepy, pedophile haven candy factory of his. The least you and your traffic-barrel-tinted dermis can do is be honest with the rest of us about its origins. I promise, no one is going to discriminate against you if your skin is naturally the same color as the University of Tennessee’s home football jerseys. You won't be voted out of the House for coming clean and think of how much you could do for orange-skinned people everywhere by becoming the first of your kind to openly serve in Congress……….
- You mess with the Mormon, you get the freaking horns, even if you’re an IBM supercomputer. That’s the lesson "Watson," an IBM computing system, is about to learn when this hunk of metal, plastic, logic boards, circuits and bytes goes up against the two most successful human contestants in the history of "Jeopardy!," Alex Trebek and Co. will welcome back the Stormin’ Mormon, Ken Jennings, along with fellow “Jeopardy!” great Brad Rutter, for a series of battles against Watson. The showdown will air Feb. 14-16 and aim to find out if a machine can compete in a contest that will require it to interpret real-language questions research them and answer quicker than mere men. "After four years, our scientific team believes that Watson is ready for this challenge based on its ability to rapidly comprehend what the 'Jeopardy!' clue is asking, analyze the information it has access to, come up with precise answers, and develop an accurate confidence in its response," David Ferrucci, the scientist leading the IBM Research team that has created Watson, said in a written release. "Beyond our excitement for the match itself, our team is very motivated by the possibilities that Watson's breakthrough computing capabilities hold for building a smarter planet and helping people in their business tasks and personal lives." Blah, blah, blah. Way to use the “Building a smarter planet” tag line that is IBM’s current marketing slogan. I don’t care if Watson's software is powered by an IBM Power7 server and is optimized to process complex questions and render answers quickly, that piece of techno-junk is not going to defeat the Stormin’ Mormon™ and that’s that. No matter that Watson has already passed the test that "Jeopardy!" contestants are given to qualify for the show and, according to IBM developers, has been "sparring" with other former "Jeopardy!" players. Lest you forget, IBM, Jennings broke the game show's record by competing in 74 games in a row during the 2004-05 season, accumulating a whopping $2.5 million in winnings. Rutter won more money - in excess of $3.2 million - but his winnings were inflated by a subsequent appearances on "tournament of champions"-style shows. For the Jennings-Rutter-Watson battle, the top prize is $1 million, with $300,000 for second place and $200,000 for third. Jennings and Rutter plan to donate half their winnings to charity, and IBM will donate 100 percent in a blatant attempt to curry favor with the rest of the computer world. "We're thrilled that Jeopardy! is considered a benchmark of ultimate knowledge," said Harry Friedman, the show's executive producer. "Performing well on Jeopardy! requires a combination of skills, and it will be fascinating to see whether a computer can compete against arguably the two best Jeopardy! players ever." Sure thing, Friedman. Just don’t be surprised when Jennings lays a world-class ass-whoopin’ on Watson…………
- There exists an admittedly fine line between being passionate about winning a game and caring a little too much and I fear that DeSoto County High School (Fla.) senior Mason Holland may have crossed that line Monday night in a varsity basketball game against rival Port Charlotte High. Holland was mind his own business, running up the court when a Port Charlotte player’s body carelessly got in the way of his extending arms, which made it appear that Holland had shoved that opposing player. Of course, an intentional shove is going to net you a technical foul of any of the referees see it and sure enough, one of the referees working the game saw Holland’s shove and assessed him a technical foul. At that point, the only logical move is for the coach to take that player who has received a tech out of the game and keep him on the bench for the remainder of the night. Unfortunately for DeSoto County coach Joe Sheridan, there was no time to pull Holland from the game because Holland wanted a piece of the referee who had dared to call him for a technical foul. He bum-rushed the official and began screaming at him. He then hit the official with a firm, two-handed shove that knocked him backwards. The stunned official turned to look at Holland and must have looked at him the wrong way because Holland bum-rushed him a second time, picking the poor guy up, rag-dolling him around and slamming him to the floor before the other referees, coaches, players and school officials jumped in to stop him. As he was led away, Holland was still jawing at his conquered foe and looking as if he wanted to go back and finish what he started. The game was stopped and Port Charlotte was awarded a win by forfeit. Curiously, Holland was suspended from school the next day and won’t be allowed to play basketball for DeSoto County again. "It was totally unacceptable behavior," Sheridan said. "It was everything we are not, and now we have to recover from that with 12 very, very good boys. "He'll never play here again. I've been coaching for 40 years, and I've never experienced anything like that. I'm still in shock." Way to punish a guy for caring a little too much, coach……….
- The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceased to be relevant and have credibility right around the time Madonna was inducted (and probably well before then), so take with a grain of salt the fact that blues legend Tom Waits, along with Neil Diamond, the Alice Cooper Band, New Orleans musician Dr. John and Darlene Love, will be inducted to the museum next year. Never mind that Waits, as cool as he is, has nothing at all to do with rock and roll. Same for Diamond, who is about as pop and mainstream as can be. Dr. John isn’t any more rock and roll than those two and neither is Love. Of the five inductees announced Wednesday, only the Alice Cooper band can legitimately be considered to belong in anything being referred to as rock and roll. For Love, it was her third shot at induction and apparently, voters were more impressed this time around with hits such as "(Today I Met) The Boy I'm Gonna Marry" and her work with producer Phil Spector and the Blossoms than they were the first two times. When asked about her selection, Love replied, "I can actually breathe." Of course, every hall of fame induction has winners and losers, those whose dreams come true and those who have their hopes crushed. In this case, the rejected were many and varied, with the group including LL Cool J, the J. Geils Band, the Beastie Boys, Donna Summer and Bon Jovi. Thank God Summer wasn’t voted in because if she had been, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame would have spontaneously. Dammit, disco is the freaking antithesis of what rock is all about and Summer was at the forefront of the disco movement. The only way she should be referenced at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in an exhibit mocking disco and denouncing it as the worst era in the history of music. But back to the inductees…..no one was more excited than Alice Cooper, who seemed legitimately thrilled with the news. "You know it crosses your mind, but then you think of all the guys who aren't in there, some of them before you, and you go, 'Wow.' ... You realize that it's a waiting game," Cooper said. Even though I’m no fan of Cooper, the fact remains that he and his band have always brought a certain element of show business into rock 'n' roll. Lastly, I want to meet the Mensa who decided that Diamond should be up for induction and ultimately voted in, considering his early hits in the 1960s included "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" and "Cherry Cherry." Clearly, rock and roll no longer means what so many who helped establish it once believed it to be………
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