- Finally! The day I’ve been waiting for all these years has come and it’s now legally permissible to sue children as young as 4 years old for negligence. This judicial gem comes courtesy of Justice Paul Wooten of State Supreme Court in Manhattan, who ruled that a young girl accused of running down an elderly woman while racing a bicycle with training wheels on a Manhattan sidewalk two years ago can be sued for negligence. Wooten based his ruling on precedents set by cases dating back as far as 1928 in allowing a lawsuit brought against Juliet Breitman can proceed. Wooten allowed to proceed claims that in April 2009, Juliet Breitman and Jacob Kohn, who were both 4, were racing their bicycles, under the supervision of their mothers, Dana Breitman and Rachel Kohn, on the sidewalk of a building on East 52nd Street. For some reason, probably the typically oblivious and inconsiderate manner in which most 4-year-olds approach the world, they didn’t pay attention to what was ahead of them and during their race, they struck 87-year-old Claire Menagh, who was walking in front of the building. Menagh suffered a hip fracture that required surgery and three months after the accident, she died. Perhaps blaming one irresponsible 4-year-old girl for your mother or grandmother’s death might seem…..what’s the word….oh yes, insane, but Menagh’s estate sued the children and their mothers, claiming they had acted negligently during the accident. According to the complain, Menagh was “seriously and severely injured” in the accident. When the case went to court, Juliet’s lawyer, James P. Tyrie, argued that the girl was not “engaged in an adult activity” at the time of the accident. “She was riding her bicycle with training wheels under the supervision of her mother” and thus too young to be held liable for negligence, Tyire feebly argued. Thankfully, Judge Wooten saw right through that flimsy defense and rejected Tyrie’s assertion that, “Courts have held that an infant under the age of 4 is conclusively presumed to be incapable of negligence.” Instead, the judge rejected a motion to dismiss the case because of Juliet’s age on Oct. 1,admitting that while Tyrie “correctly notes that infants under the age of 4 are conclusively presumed incapable of negligence. Juliet Breitman, however, was over the age of 4 at the time of the subject incident. For infants above the age of 4, there is no bright-line rule.” Now, it’s wise to not get too excited about this decision because all Wooten did was allow the case to proceed. That being said, it’s about freaking time that the rest of us were allowed to drag 4-year-olds to court and hold them accountable for all the ways they wrong the world on a daily basis………
- FAT people, you’re going to have to figure out another way to get thin besides some miracle in a bottle that won't necessitate you actually working out, eating better and living healthier - at least if the experimental weight-loss drug Qnexa was the thing you were relying on to shed those unwanted pounds. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has rejected the approval of the drug used to treat obesity. The FDA informed the drug maker, Vivus, that the drug could not be approved in its present form. Vivus announced the decision Thursday in a statement, leading to muffled groans of dismay from millions of FAT Americans who would have yelled out in anger if not for the fudge bars and pieces of chocolate-chocolate cake being shoved into their pie holes at the time the news came out. For the record, Qnexa is a combination of two older medications: phentermine, an amphetamine that made up the "phen" half of 1990s diet drug Fen-Phen, and is topiramate, an anti-seizure medication that's been used to treat a range of conditions, including alcoholism. You might recall that Fen-Phen was yanked from the market in the 1990s after some users developed heart problems. Apparently death was not a side effect the FDA was willing to tolerate back then and judging by this ruling, they still won’t. But no one could have seriously banked on Qnexa’s approval, not after an FDA advisory committee recommended in July that Qnexa not be approved. The committee cited concerns ranging from heart issues to psychiatric side effects. What, so people might develop heart conditions and go insane? How are those things any worse than being 150 pounds overweight, having lousy self-esteem and slowly eating yourself to death with Ho-Ho’s, chocolate éclairs, extra-large pizzas, Cheetos and ice cream sundaes? To Vivus’ credit, it is not giving up on its new wonder drug or the FAT people who would benefit from it. "We remain confident in the efficacy of Qnexa and look forward to continue working with the FDA towards the approval for the treatment of obesity," said Leland Wilson, chief executive officer of Vivus. Look for a response to the FDA’s rejection of Qnexa some time FDA around mid-December………
- So many interesting stories for one Saturday of college football…..how’s about two top-10 teams losing on the road in true curb-stomp fashion, a lying, cheating, rule-breaking scumbag of a coach taking another step toward a third straight late-season collapse in his third year at the helm of a once-proud program or another of the sport’s legendary programs suffering as brutal a loss as any in recent memory? The two top-10 teams on the receiving end of beatdowns would be No. 5 Michigan State and No. 6 Missouri, both of whom were wildly overrated on the strength of undefeated records against weak schedules featuring almost no quality opponents. These two might have been the most obvious targets for an “upset” in any season in the past decade, with the Spartans actually an underdog despite their unbeaten record and rankings superiority over their opponent, No. 18 Iowa. Yet the Hawkeyes b*tch-slapped the Spartans from the opening kickoff, ran all over them and came out with a 37-6 win that should end any talk of Michigan State as a national title contender for the next five years, minimum. The margin may not have been as high in Missouri’s loss to No. 14 Nebraska, but the school-record 309 yards that Nebraska running back Roy Helu Jr. racked up on the Tigers’ hapless defense was almost as embarrassing. The Huskers manhandled Missouri and every time it appeared the Tigers were about to get back in the game, Helu was there with a big run. For those who want to see Boise State receive the national championship shot it deserves, these losses mean two less teams have a chance to leapfrog the Broncos in the (always asinine) BCS standings going forward. As for the coach presiding over a third straight late-season collapse, that would be Michigan head coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez, who posed 3-9 and 5-7 records in his first two seasons in Ann Arbor, committed multiple NCAA rules violations that the school is still disputing and has now lost three straight games - all Big 10 affairs - after a 5-0 start to the season. This time around, R-Fraud might actually lose his job if he can’t pull the team out of its nosedive and the 41-31 loss to a Penn State team starting its backup quarterback won't help in that endeavor. Couldn’t happen to a better guy than you, R-Fraud. Lastly, Notre Dame capped as bad a week as the program has had in a long time with a stunning 28-27 home loss to Tulsa - yes, that Tulsa. After a football program volunteer died this week when the tower from which he was filming practice collapsed, the Irish lost starting quarterback Dayne Crist for the season when he suffered a first-quarter knee injury, lost leading rusher Armando Allen later in the game and lost the game itself when freshman quarterback Tommy Rees, filling in for Crist, did the one thing he couldn’t do with his team in field-goal range in the final minute and trailing by one - throw an interception. His pass was picked off in the end zone with less than 45 seconds left and his team lost to drop to 4-5, meaning the Irish need to win two of their final three games just to become bowl eligible. Yes, quite a Saturday of college football……….
- Been asking yourself how to take a piece of one of the most bloated, overhyped, underwhelming “blockbusters” of the past few years in your driveway while also putting an end to those darned neighborhood kids TP’ing your yard or egging your windows? This could be the answer you’ve been waiting for. It’s a 2005 Saleen Mustang tricked out to look like one of the cars used in the recent Transformers movies, directed so ham-handedly by Michael Bay and successful only in wasting ridiculous sums of money on special effects while expending no real effort on scripts and plots that were sensible, believable or well-executed. Famed car guy Steve Saleen customized three 2005 Saleen S281 Mustangs for the films and now, one of those cars has turned up where else but eBay. According to the seller, this is the second of three cars that filled a role in the movie, was used primarily as a camera car and “was heavily screen used in the movie.” The car, as with any Saleen, has a beefed-up engine, revamped body and remodeled interior. With carbon fiber throughout, this whip has a cherry-colored interior, police LED lights all over the exterior and a ginormous push bar on the front in case you need to ram someone - on the road, that is. The only downside is that unlike in the movie, the car doesn’t actually transform into a 18-foot-tall robot. But other than that, it’s totally a great excuse to throw away tens of thousands of dollars on a completely impractical vehicle that you would probably never drive anyhow. Bid now……..
- Maybe I’m just being cynical, but I don’t jump for joy when I hear that a joint American-Russian effort has resulted in the destruction of Afghan drug laboratories in the first instance of Russia deploying security forces in the region since the Soviet military withdrew in 1989. According to Russia's anti-narcotics chief, the operation in Nangarhar Province, eastern Afghanistan on Thursday was jointly conducted by the United States Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA), the Department of Defense, NATO, the Afghan Ministry of Interior and the Russian drug control agency. These teetotalers raided four laboratories associated with a significant dugs trafficker in the province. What sort of carnage resulted? Well, approximately one metric ton of heroin worth $250 million was seized, along with a smaller quantity of opium and items used in drug production. "This is the first operation in Afghanistan in which Russian drug police officers took part," said Victor Ivanov, head of Russia's federal drug control agency. Stop and think for a moment about all of the poor, friendly neighborhood heroin addicts that sort of seizure will affect and you can start to understand my beef with this operation. I don’t care whether or not this international consortium was in Afghanistan as a military unit or not, their efforts are bad news. Actually, Ivanov claimed that the group was in Afghanistan as part of an agreement between Moscow, the Afghan government and the U.S. DEA to share information about the flow of drugs into Russia via its vast southern borders with Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Tajikistan. "For the first time our officials handed over information about the location of drug laboratories, which was confirmed by the Afghan Interior Ministry and the U.S. DEA," he explained. This operation took three months to plan and execute as officials compiled coordinates, names, locations, and other important data was established. On the big day, some 70 people were involved in the raid, which took place not far from the Pakistan border. There were helicopter gunships and Afghan police providing air and ground cover. "It was a huge success which became possible as a result of our joint well-coordinated work," as well as a result of the "resetting" of Russian-U.S. relations," Ivanov gloated at a news conference in Moscow. Oh, and the heroin addicts who will be harmed by this raid aren’t solely American addicts. Russia is estimated by the United Nations to have between one-and-half and six million heroin addicts, so its own people will also bear a heavy burden here. Making matters worse, Ivanow made a point of saying that Moscow is eager to cooperate further with NATO-led forces in Afghanistan. "We are interested in further cooperation in destroying drug laboratories," he stated. "According to our sources, in Badakhshan alone, there are more than 400 drug laboratories and a large number are located in Helmand. The number of laboratories is huge, as we see." I just hope you have the courage to explain all of this to your millions of heroin users in person, Ivanov………
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