Saturday, June 12, 2010

"Real Houseskanks" news, Hugo Chavez at it again and pulling guns on overbearing youth sports parents

- Please join me in a nice, big group “throw up in your mouth” moment, all. My distaste for Bravo’s Real Houseskanks series of reality shows is legendary be it the Atlanta, New York, Boise, Los Angeles, Santa Fe, Mobile, Minneapolis or Bismarck version. All of these surgically enhanced, carved-up cougars are an affront to anyone who actually places any weight at all on keeping sheer and utter crap off of their television screen. Their personal drama and the fact that they all married well or inherited enough money to allow them to live lives of luxury and attend fancy events at which they engage in ridiculous, b*tch-tastic drama simply aren’t enough to justify any of these wenches being anywhere near a TV camera - ever. But nonetheless, on TV they are and there just doesn’t seem to be any getting rid of them. With that being said, I think we could all do without any of these vapid cougs releasing a sex tape, no? Yet here we are, with filth and depravity purveyor Hustler Inc. preparing to release a sex tape starring Houseskanks star Danielle Staub. Hustler has said that 47-year-old Staub, a mother of two, is aware that the tape is being released and images of her topless, giggling and frolicking with an unidentified man hit the web on Wednesday. As if that weren’t enough, one of her fellow Houseskanks is looking for further bury Staub by Tweeting that she actually leaked her own sex tape. That would be Houseskank Jacqueline Laurita, who Tweeted late Tuesday: "Heard from a VERY reliable source that D released her OWN sex tape. Heard it's disgusting. Such disregard 4 her kids. I feel horrible 4 them." I’m sure you do. Because if I truly felt bad for anyone, especially kids, what I would look to do is find the nearest BlackBerry or laptop and fire off a Tweet further fanning the flames of embarrassment. Stay classy, Houseskanks. Thanks for once again proving my argument that you are right up there with ass hats like Heidi and Spencer as the single biggest piece of evidence for the damaging effect that reality television has had on our society…………

- Unruly parents are a constant at any level or age group of youth sports and dealing with them is one of the primary stressors on coaches, officials and even the very players those parents are supposed to be supporting. Almost invariably, the parents are the ones at fault for stepping out of line, acting like idiots and causing a scene. Often, those on the receiving end of their vitriol would love to walk over and punch the offending parent in the face - repeatedly. Notice I said they would like to do that, not that they actually seek physical retribution. Well, not unless they are Fruitport (Mich.) Soccer Club assistant coach James Sherrill, that is. Sherrill helped coach his team, consisting of boys ages 8-10, in their game at Pine Park on May 15. After the contest ended and probably while the players were chugging down Capri Sun pouches and munching on orange slices, some of the parents confronted Sherrill after witnessing him yelling and swearing at their kids during the game. An angry confrontation ensued but other coaches and parents were able to step in and break things up before the situation got out of control. That proved to be a temporary fix as one of the parents, Adam Eikenberry, approached Sherrill as he was leaving. At that point, Sherrill decided he’d had just about enough parental grief for the day and pulled a concealed 9mm handgun from its holster and pointed it at Eikenberry. Well played, coach, well played. Pulling a gun at a youth sporting event is always a good idea, especially with plenty of witnesses around to let the police know exactly what you did. That decision led to an arrest for Sherrill, a trip to the local police station and will now result in a trial for Sherrill on one count of felonious assault. As stated at the start of this story, I am the first to admit that youth sports parents are all too often out of control and need to be put in check before they ruin the experience for everyone else. However, you may also have noticed that I did not advocate drawing a gun on them as a means of shutting them up. While it might have worked and the possibility of being shot could definitely deter many parents from piping up about Junior’s playing time or treatment by the coach, it’s also a tad illegal. So let’s keep the guns holstered, our attitudes in check and our fists of fury locked safely away for all future youth sporting events and see if the game doesn’t go better for everyone…………


- And the crackdown on anyone willing to stand up for what they believe and oppose Venezuela’s totalitarian regime continues! The latest move came when dictator Hugo Chavez and his cronies issued an arrest warrant against the president of one of the last independent TV stations in that country Guillermo Zuloaga, president of Globovision, is now a wanted man, accused of illegally storing vehicles with the intent to sell them for a profit. The warrant includes his son, also named Guillermo. Police searched Zuloaga’s home while Globovision cameras caught all of the action. Zuloaga, perhaps knowing the raid was coming, was not found and his whereabouts are unknown. His attorney, Perla Jaimes, spoke on his behalf and stated that his client will now make a decision as to how and when turn himself to the authorities to face the charges. The charges stem from the May 2009 discovery of 24 vehicles stored at one of his properties in Caracas. The government, looking for any excuse to persecute anyone who dares oppose it, claimed that the vehicles violated existing law. Uh huh, sure they didn’t. But keep telling yourselves and the rest of us that they did, Venezuelan government. No one is going to see through this charade and recognize it for the feeble attempt at suppressing freedom of the press that it is. The government has long been after Zuloaga, who was detained in March as he returned to Venezuela -- accused of criticizing the government during a public forum outside the country. I’m sure it’s just one giant coincidence that he’s under Chavez’s microscope and that he runs one of the few remaining independent media outlets in Venezuela, a media outlet that is often critical of Chavez. Human rights and freedom of the press groups immediately denounced the warrant, rightly labeling it a renewed attempt to silence critics of Chavez. In other words, just more of the same from one of the world’s more maniacal, overbearing and belligerent dictators. Along with death, taxes and the Chicago Cubs not winning the World Series, it’s safe to say that the oppressive actions of Hugo Chavez are one of the things in this world you can always count on…………


- Do me a favor and just let me know a) when the conference-shifting game of musical chairs for college athletics ends and b) when these conference jumps will actually affect what I see on the field. The dominoes began to fall on Thursday when Colorado jumped from the Big 12 to the Pac-10, but that was merely the first of many steps in the process. Nebraska became the next domino to fall, leaving the Big 12, ironically enough, to join a Big Ten conference that had been rocking 11 teams for a decade and now should be called the new Big 12. Those moves left the Big 12 with 10 teams, temporarily making it the new Big Ten. I say temporarily because reports now have as many as five additional Big 12 teams leaving the conference to join the Pac-10, which would make it the Pac-16. Texas, Texas Tech, Texas A&M, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State are all reportedly on the verge of moving to the Pac-10, leaving Big 12ers Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri, Iowa State and Baylor out in the cold. But wait, there’s more! Enter the Mountain West Conference, a growing power that has produced BCS party-crashers the past few seasons with TCU and Utah elbowing in amongst the big boys for spots in college football’s massive payday disguised as a means of determining a true national champion. The Mountain West wants to climb up to the level of being an automatic BCS qualifier (currently, the league does not receive an automatic BCS bid but teams can earn one with a high enough BCS ranking) and join the payday. To that end, the conference scored a major addition by welcoming in fellow BCS crasher Boise State (two BCS bowl wins in the past five years) Friday, boosting the MWC to ten teams and making it a major force to be reckoned with. Yet the conference may not be done yet and could have the other conference jumpers to thank for opening up a golden opportunity to expand once again. According to multiple sources, Kansas, Missouri and Kansas State are on the Mountain West's radar for a possible expansion to 13 teams. The big add there would be Kansas’ men’s basketball program, one of the iconic programs in all of college basketball. Just as adding Boise State’s football program boosts the conference’s profile on the gridiron, welcoming the Kansas basketball program would infuse the MWC with instant basketball credibility and a boost in football as well. "The Mountain West wants to be a national player and continue to grow in that realm," MWC commissioner Craig Thompson said in a conference call with reporters Friday. "We are extremely interested in BCS automatic qualification. We are simply trying to get to the level where each and every year a Mountain West team is playing in a BCS bowl game." The one Big 12 school the Mountain West has no interest in is Baylor, largely because of its proximity to current MWC dwellers TCU, which would reportedly mount a lobbying effort against Baylor if the Bears are left out of the conference-realignment mix. So what does all of this mean? For next season, not much. The conference jumps will take effect down the road, but the bottom line to keep an eye on here is….well, the bottom line for the involved schools and conferences (outside of the Big 12). Those entities will make more money and in the end, that’s all they care about………..


- Technology sure does take us so amazing places. You can now connect to the Internet through any number of devices in nearly any setting, there are advances in robotics that have made the manufacturing process for most goods a seamless, expedited process and now, in possibly the greatest technological advance of all time, we have computerized underwear. This technological leap forward comes from Joseph Wang (save the jokes), a nanoengineering professor at the University of California at San Diego who has developed underpants that have sensors built into the waistband to sense blood pressure, heart rate, and other biological markers. Before you get any ideas on what the purpose of such skivvies might be, know that the primary purpose for the digital drawers is to allow doctors to do things like keeping an eye on a soldier's vitals during field surgery. There are legitimate medical uses for this sort of device, which relies on sensors printed on with a technique similar to that employed by ink-jet printers. The sensors are such that they cannot be felt against the skin, which means the underwear wouldn’t be any more uncomfortable than normal. Once “printed,” the sensors relay the biometric data nonstop, allowing medical teams to better and more quickly treat the wounded. Although initially developed for military use, the computerized underpants could also be adapted for hospital use as a new way to track patients' progress with less invasive sensors than those used now. Hope all of this talk sounds good to you, members of the American military, because by the sound of it, you all are going to be the first ones to try on these new wardrobe options………..

No comments: