Lohan family hijinks over ice cream, Apple upgrades MobileMe and Venezuela asks Interpol to do its dirty work

- All right, now Dina Lohan has crossed the line. Raising a hellion who is quite possibly the biggest lush of her era is one thing and having a second child heading that direction is one thing, but abusing a Carvel Ice Cream black card belonging to her daughters is something else entirely. That’s right, Dina Lohan is thieving her kids’ Carvel Ice Cream black card to feed her double chocolate chunk addiction. The popular ice cream chain issued “black cards” to 75 celebrities last year, including Lindsay and Ali Lohan, to celebrate its 75th anniversary. Some way, somehow, one of those black cards found its way into Dina Lohan’s grimy paws and she attempted to use it when she went into an East Meadow, N.Y., Carvel store to pick up a cake for her son Cody's birthday. The pimply faced kid who assisted her asked for her I.D. and then confiscated her card. On its Web site, Caravel stated that only the individual whose name is on the card can receive the freebies - up to $25 in ice cream products per week. Sounds like a great deal and based on how Lindsay Lohan looks most of the time, she’s not eating a lot of fatty desserts, so maybe her mother thought she could use the card and no one would notice. Caravel also said in its statement that although Lindsay and Ali are the only two members of their family issued promotional cards, “their extended family has repeatedly used the card without either present. At first, we graciously honored their requests while explaining that the Black Card was not a carte blanche for unlimited Carvel Ice Cream for the extended Lohan family and friends. After more than six months of numerous and large orders for ice cream, we finally had to cut off the card and take it back.” Wow. I guess that sense of entitlement runs deep and strong in the Lohan family. Making matters worse, Dina Lohan didn’t take the confiscation of her pilfered black card well and things became so heated that police were called to the store, where Dina was demanding her card and her cake and the store manager was refusing to give it to her. Lohan claimed that multiple police cars arrived, along with a police helicopter. Officers had to warn her not to use the card again. All right, ma’am, we’re only going to tell you this once. Put the Caravel black card down and do NOT attempt to use it again. We don’t want to have to get our weapons out, but we will if necessary. Seriously, is this an American Express black card or a glorified gift card for an ice cream shop? Way to show that your lush of a daughter isn’t the only misfit in the family………

- The riots may have been full-scale after the Los Angeles Lakers won their 16th NBA championship by beating Boston Thursday night, but the parade to celebrate the win will be on a much smaller scale than last year’s championship celebration. The parade will be entirely funded by the Lakers and the route will avoid the city's downtown core and leave out the huge rallies that have drawn tens of thousands of fans in previous years. Team and city officials both pointed out that the Lakers would pick up the tab for the -- estimated at $1.5 million by city managers and $2 million by the Lakers -- after last year's parade led to complaints about excessive spending for the cash-strapped city. "I want to applaud the L.A. Lakers for their good corporate citizenship for sponsoring the parade," mayor Antonio Villaraigosa said at a news conference Friday. "It will be a great cause for celebration." The revised parade route will spend two miles extending from the Staples Center to the edge of the University of Southern California campus and an estimated 500,000 and 2 million people are expected to attend. Lakers players will speak to fans from a float moving along the parade route and double-decker, open-air buses will transport the team's coaches, staff members, owners and cheerleaders along the same route. That may seem like quite a show, but compared to past celebrations that began with kickoff rallies at City Hall or the Department of Water and Power building, parades through the downtown business district and huge rallies at Staples Center, it’s fairly modest. Eliminating the rally will make the event easier and less expensive, while skipping downtown for the parade makes the day more manageable for police, fire and other city agencies. . Last year's parade was along a similar route south of downtown but was capped by a rally at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum that drew more than 95,000 fans. The outcry over the cost of the event was swift and severe, ultimately leading to the Lakers and others eventually paying for most of $2 million cost. But scaled-down parade or not, the riot that took place in the streets of L.A. in the hours after the Game 7 win to clinch the title was full-tilt. There were 42 arrests and three assaults on police officers, one of whom had to fire a warning shot to avoid being seriously injured, 40 calls to the fire department to report incidents, 16 reported fires, hooligans throwing rocks, bottles and other objects at officers, those same officers retaliating by firing beanbags into the crowd and 15 people arrested on suspicion of assaulting a police officer, narcotics possession, disturbing the peace and other violations. Police will now sift through surveillance video and other evidence gathered Thursday night and get warrants based on that evidence. So for me, the lingering image of this title will not be the championship parade through the city, but rather jacked-up Lakers fans jumping on top of a cab leaving the arena, rocking the car, ripping a door open and terrorizing those inside before the cabbie was able to make his getaway…………

- Freaking do it yourself if you want to blatantly oppress your people and trample on their rights of free speech, Venezuela. And if you can't manage the arrest of the owner of the only TV station still openly critical of malevolent dictator Hugo Chavez, then don’t go asking Interpol to do it for you. For the record, Chavez and his posse want Guillermo Zuloaga, president of Globovision, arrested for a ticky-tack, supposed crime of illegally storing vehicles with the intent to sell them for a profit. The government is trying to apprehend him but can’t seem to track down Zuloaga, so it has asked Interpol to arrest him in its stead. The arrest warrants for Zuloaga and his son, also named Guillermo, were issued last week. The senior Zuloaga is rumored to have left the country, hence the government’s appeal for Interpol’s help. The international police agency has not made any public statement about the request just yet, but the Venezuelan government isn’t going to let this one slide. "This is a gentleman who has committed a crime, and he should have to answer to Venezuelan justice," Venezuelan Justice Minister Tareck El Aissami said Friday. "We have already started the process. We have generated an Interpol alert for the capture of this fugitive, wherever he is. He and his son are sought by a Venezuelan justice tribunal." The charges against Zuloaga stem from a May 2009 raid on one of his properties in Caracas, when authorities found 24 vehicles allegedly being kept there in violation of existing law. Zuloaga had a good explanation for the vehicles, saying they were stored at his house as part of his business, which includes multiple car dealerships. But good explanations mean nothing when a repressive, hostile and insane dictator is looking for any reason to silence those who dare to criticize him and so Zuloaga was charged with a crime. That came on the heels of his detention in March, when he was accused of criticizing the government during a public forum outside the country. Many international human rights groups have criticized the legal action against Zuloaga and with good reason. This is a clear case of persecution by prosecution for a man who has the courage to stand up against an unfair, totalitarian regime that needs to be toppled………

- Apple is always tweaking and changing up its hardware and software, so announcements about new apps and devices come fairly often. However, few changes come at no charge to users and as such, the makeover for the tech giant’s MobileMe service is noteworthy. The improvements include the ability to use an iPhone to find a lost iPad and vice a versa (nice because of the enormous sales numbers for the iPad). In spite of the additions, the price for Apple's cloud-based service is still $99. In truth, it would have been difficult for Apple to justify a price hike when Google and Microsoft offer many comparable services for free, even if Apple fans are willing to pay for a premium service that offers more for people with multiple Apple devices. As any Mac user knows, if you go the Mac route, you go all-in and don’t straddle the fence with both Mac and Windows-based devices. The improvements to MobileMe were announced Thursday and for the most part, they are minor alterations rather than a complete overhaul. In addition to the iPhone-iPad location app, Apple has given the Me.com Web site a new user interface and navigation features, including a new login page. That "Find My iPhone" app, which previously did not include the iPad, can now be used to find a lost iPhone, iPad or iPod Touch. You’ll be able to locate your own devices or use a friend's Apple device to do so. Should you be completely unable to locate your device and in fear that someone will find it and access sensitive information, you can also use MobileMe to remotely wipe out all the data on a lost device. The deletion can be reversed if the owner later recovers the device. Users can login to Me.com via Web browser to locate any one of the three devices. In order to utilize the location feature, users must have iOS 3.1.3 (the name of the operation system for the iPhone) or later on their device. But wait, there’s more! E-mail via MobileMe has also been upgraded with widescreen and compact views for the iPad and iPhone, respectively, making messages easier to view depending on your device, along with single-click archiving and new rules to keep email organized across devices. The upgraded MobileMe will also feature more streamlined performance, support for SSL for better security when using a browser, improved junk mail filtering, support for sending from external e-mail addresses and an online file-sharing service is to synchronize data across Apple hardware and a PC. In short, MobileMe is integrating more Apple devices for Mac junkies who can’t help but buy every gadget that Steve Jobs and Co. releases…………

- Uh oh, don’t eat your SpaghettiOs! Campbell Soup Co. is recalling nearly 15 million pounds of canned SpaghettiOs with meatballs (the good kind, if you ask me) because the pasta may be undercooked. As a brief aside, how would anyone know if SpaghettiOs were undercooked? They’re not exactly fine gourmet cuisine, ya dig? But due to possible under-processing, the U.S. agriculture department and Campell Soup Co. are recalling 14.75-ounce cans with a use-by date between June 2010 and December 2011 of three varieties of the product: "SpaghettiOs with Meatballs," "SpaghettiOs A to Z with Meatballs" and "SpaghettiOs Fun Shapes with Meatballs (Cars)." Great, now my entire dietary plan for the next two months if f**ked. SpaghettiOs Fun Shapes with Meatballs (Cars) are my favorite food and now I can’t eat any of them? Super. If you’re like me and you purchased those products with a plant code of "EST4K," you are advised not to eat them and should return them to the store where they were purchased for an exchange or full refund. In a written statement, the company said it was voluntarily recalling the products "in an abundance of caution," and that there was "no information indicating that any under-processed product has reached consumers." I love how companies that recall potentially hazardous products are always quick to say that they are doing so as a precautionary measure and that there is no reason for concern. Uh huh, sure. If there’s no problem, why are you recalling anything? Just shoot straight, that’s all you need to do. To offending SpaghettiOs were produced in Paris, Texas, between December 2008 and June 2010, and shipped to retail customers nationwide. Campbell Soup discovered the problem during a routine warehouse inspection and investigation, the Department of Agriculture's Food Safety and Inspection Service said. Here’s hoping this recall reaches each and every SpaghettiOs eater out there before anything untoward happens because of undercooked SpaghettiOs Fun Shapes with Meatballs (Cars)………

More reasons to hate vuvuzelas, the power of Betty White and the smartphone loophole in China

- Need another reason to hate vuvuzelas? I didn’t think so, but here’s another one nonetheless. Not only are these oversized kazoos loud, obnoxious and potentially harmful to both your hearing and sanity, but they may also spread harmful germs to the idiots who blow them. A study found that droplets spray from the end of the vuvuzela when it is blown, thus spreading those germs to those around the vuvuzela user. The authors of the study warned fans not to use them if they are sick, a warning that seems to have fallen on (excuse the pun) deaf ears, as every freaking person in every World Cup stadium seems to be blowing these tacky $8 annoyances. So not only could you go deaf with the roar of vuvuzelas ringing in your ears for two hours at a game, but you could also contract whatever illness that those around you happen to be suffering with at the time. In other words, someone with a chest or throat infection using the vuvuzela in a crowded place could spread his or her infection to lots of people. Then there is the issue of vuvuzela lips" where frequent users' lips have swelled twice in size - almost as if they've suffered bee stings. "Sometimes when I blow for a long time, it can be swollen," explained Romeo Martin, a Cape Town resident who admits to blowing his red plastic vuvuzela more than 100 times a day. Asked why he continues to blow that God-awful horn in spite of all the potential and actual downsides, Martin offered an unsatisfactory explanation. "Just for the World Cup," he replied. "When Bafana Bafana (the South African national team) is playing, everyone blows vuvuzelas." Not good enough, South Africans. First, the vuvuzelas blow during every game, not just your team’s games. Second, just because everyone else acts like a moron, that’s no excuse for you to do the same. Someone else acting like a fool is never justification for you acting like a fool, which is why so many people (everyone not blowing a vuvuzela) is so tired of these glorified noisemakers. No matter how good the World Cup is, the one prevailing emotion once the event ends is going to be relief and thankfulness that we will never again be subjected to the bee swarm-like drone of the vuvuzelas…………

- In the battle of employee privacy rights v. employer rights to act as Big Brother, the Supreme Court has scored a victory for The Man by ruling that state officials had the right to review the records of a California police officer who exchanged hundreds of personal messages -- some of a "sexually explicit" nature -- on his department-owned text pager. In a unanimous decision, the justices Thursday unanimously concluded that the Ontario (Calif.) police department has every right to review the records of Ontario police Sgt. Jeff Quon. "Because the search was motivated by a legitimate work-related purpose, and because it was not excessive in scope, the search was reasonable," Justice Anthony Kennedy said. The case centered on how far a government employer may go to monitor the private communications of its workers if they believe the equipment is being abused. Deciding what qualified as a basis for suspicion was also at issue for government organizations was the focus of this case, but the court did imply that under the same set of facts, its ruling would apply to all workers -- public or private. "The court also concludes that the search would be regarded as reasonable and normal in the private-employer context," Kennedy stated. That comment did not sit well with legal and technology experts, both of whom are divided over its application in the private sector. Quon claimed that his privacy was violated over messages exchanged with his wife, his girlfriend and a fellow officer on his official wireless two-way text-messaging pager. For the court, the case boiled down to what constituted the limits of "reasonable." In the end, the justices ruled that the state "did not violate Quon's Fourth Amendment rights.” In the past, numerous courts have ruled that private communications-- even when delivered or transmitted through a public portal -- are generally protected from "unreasonable search and seizure," such as handwritten letters sent in sealed envelopes sent through the U.S. Postal Service. One question the court did not address in its ruling was whether there was a general "expectation of privacy" enjoyed by public workers. "The judiciary risks error by elaborating too fully on the Fourth Amendment implications of emerging technology before its role in society has become clear," wrote Kennedy. Quon brought his lawsuit even though the police department in Ontario had a "Computer Usage, Internet and E-mail Policy" that allows workers only limited use for personal communications. He also signed a statement acknowledging that "use of these tools for personal benefit is a significant violation of city of Ontario policy" and that "users should have no expectation of privacy or confidentiality when using these resources." Perhaps he forgot about the policy or more likely, he was just like everyone else who signs a lengthy legal document filled with fine print and simply paid no attention to its contents. The SWAT team sergeant’s defense was that he was unaware the city's overall policy applied to the department and cited an "informal policy [that] allowed officers to maintain their privacy in their text messages as long as they paid the overage charges." Quon did admit that exceeding a 25,000-character limit per month, per device, before overages limit on his work phone. His supervisor grew weary of collecting the money to pay the overage charges from his officers and ordered a review of the pager transcripts for the two officers with the highest overage. The department argued that they conducted the review only "to determine whether the city's monthly character limit was insufficient to cover business-related messages." In the course of the review, they discovered often-racy messages, prompting an internal investigation. That investigation found Quon had sent and received 456 personal messages while on duty, an average of 28 per shift. Of those 456 messages, a whopping three per shift were deemed work-related. Before the case reached the high court, a federal judge characterized the messages as not "light personal communications," as defined in the policy as generally acceptable, but ones that were, "to say the least, sexually explicit in nature." In response, Quon sued the wireless company and the city for invasion of privacy. Now that the Supreme Court has decided against him, Quon now could face possible disciplinary action. However, his specific case is going to result in decreased privacy rights for others in his position. The only judge who seemed to have any compunctions about the court’s decision was Justice Antonin Scalia, who expressed concern the court was reaching too far in determining when searches of employer-issue pagers and smartphones are ever permissible. But in the end, score one for The Man…………

- Do not mess with the power of Betty White. Maybe I’m the only one who could not care less about this old woman and her acting resurgence, but the rest of the world freaking loves the former Golden Girls star, so much so that they are willing to watch a lame-tastic TV Land sitcom set in Cleveland with a cast comprised of a bunch of past-their-prime cougs who have all seen better days. White helped make the debut of Hot in Cleveland a record-breaking event for TV Land, attracting 4.75 million viewers and posting triple-digit gains on the night across all key demographics. It was literally the most-watched telecast ever in the network’s history despite having former fat chick/Jenny Craig pitchwoman Valerie Bertinelli, irrelevant former Frasier actress Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick as cast members alongside White earned. Cleveland earned a 1.9 rating and averaged 2.0 million viewers among the network’s target adults 25-54 audience and also averaged 1.3 million among Women 25-54. As I said, maybe “acting” in a Snickers commercial that premiered during the Super Bowl and being a cast member of a forgettable, regrettable show about four quirky old women a long time ago carry more weight than I thought, because White has been cashing in on her rediscovered 15 minutes of fame by hosting Saturday Night Live, appearing at the MTV Movie Awards and now leading a bargain-basement comedy filmed in front of a live studio audience and focusing on three best friends who arrive in Cleveland on a fluke and end up making it their home into ratings history for a network that makes its money airing old shows from decades past. Well done, B. White, well done………

- China’s restrictive, oppressive Internet policies are legendary inside and outside of the tech world, but at long last there may be a loophole for Chinese looking to get the drop on their government and access previously unavailable information: smartphones with mobile web access. Accessing Web sites on a BlackBerry, iPhone or other wireless device could provide and end-around for citizens looking to view pages and sites that would be blocked through a hard-line connection or laptop with wireless access. Mobile phones are not entirely unfettered in China, as last December, nine Chinese ministries initiated a campaign, which ended in March, to crack down on pornography transmitted via mobile networks. Additionally, mobile carriers began monitoring text messages for pornographic and other "illegal" content, blocking phone services to subscribers who sent such messages. However, time is proving that there are holes in the mobile Web in China, holes many experts say could grow bigger as more people buy smart phones and third-generation networks become stronger. Of China’s 1 billion-plus citizens, some 346 million have Internet access and of that number, 233 million use mobiles to access the Internet, according to government statistics. "It's not because the government does not want to regulate the mobile Web, it's because the system and the situation makes it much harder to regulate the mobile Web than the real Web," said Li Qiang, a researcher with the Institute of Policy and Management at the Chinese Academy of Sciences. "Technically, for the moment, the mobile Web is less regulated than the real Web." The burden for policing mobile content falls mostly to the carriers themselves and China’s three mobile phone operators -- China Mobile, China Telecom and China Unicom - filter their own content. Their situation is complicated because they have invested billions of dollars in building third-generation networks across the country as part of the government’s plan to extend Internet access to the roughly 700 million who remain without access. They are in the position of having to block content that would likely make their services more desirable and profitable. Yet some operators, according to a study released this month, are still "secretly providing services to porn sites." Access to these sites and online gaming sites is more readily available on mobile devices and some companies take advantage of this by setting up wireless application protocol, or WAP, sites, which can only be viewed on mobile phones, containing content that otherwise would be censored. Others are partnering with companies that provide potentially offensive (to the government) content. Another factor in the equation is the increasing capability of individuals to create and generate their own video and miscellaneous content and upload it to certain social media sites. That content is much more difficult to regulate and the government is having a tough time doing so. Still, certain sites are blocked even on mobile devices. For example, Foursquare, which lets users alert friends to where they are through mobile phones, remains blocked, possibly b/c a number of users had been "checking in" from Tiananmen Square on June 4 to mark the anniversary of Beijing's brutal crackdown on demonstrators there. Way to keep your oppressive ways in finest form, Chinese government……….

- Not that disgraced former NBA referee Tim Donaghy has a lot of credibility and goodwill left in the bank, but a statistical breakdown of games Donaghy refereed on a blog run by statistical analyst and pro sports gambler Haralabos Voulgaris further contradicts Donaghy’s insistence that he did not fix games. Donaghy’s repeated game-fixing denials continue to this day, but Voulgaris broke down games Donaghy worked and cited one statistical example to cast serious doubt on those claims. He examined a New Year’s Day, 2007, game featuring the Charlotte Bobcats at Minnesota. The game was included in the book Donaghy wrote about his downfall and subsequent prison term. In the book, Donaghy claimed that he told his mob connections to bet Charlotte and take the points (+4). His reasoning for wagering on the Bobcats: In addition to the anticipated crackdown on Garnett, I liked the way Charlotte coach Bernie Bickerstaff had his squad playing high-energy basketball most nights. I called Tommy and told him to bet Charlotte. The Bobcats played well early but fell part during the second half, getting outscored 34-18 in the fourth quarter. Garnett played exceptionally well for Minnesota, while Charlotte’s players were arguing amongst themselves all night. Much of the angst was directed at the Bobcat’s Adam Morrison, who took several off-balanced, ill-advised shots down the stretch in what had been a fairly tight contest. Minnesota kept its composure and pulled out the road win 102-96. It was a loss for me, Tommy, and Ba Ba, and once again there were no apples coming my way. So the bottom line for the game is that Donaghy claimed that he and his compatriots lost money, but Voulgaris discovered an irregular and unexpected betting line move due to heavy betting on none other than Minnesota. His research showed the betting line opening at Minnesota -2.5 and closing at Minnesota -4. Unless something totally bizarre, unexplained and simultaneously forgotten occurred at that time, those numbers mean that an imbalance in Minnesota wagers forced the linesmakers to move the line to -3.5 or higher. The most likely reality is that someone bet heavily on Minnesota late in the game and similar changes happened at two other sports books for the same game. To further underscore his argument, Voulgaris broke down all of Donaghy’s calls that evening and found that Donaghy made a whopping 17 calls favoring the Timberwolves in the game. His number of calls favoring Charlotte? Zero. The timing of many of his Minnesota-favoring calls is also suspicious: the fourth quarter. He made those calls as Minnesota slipped further and further behind before ultimately rallying in the fourth quarter to cover by a single basket. Those facts seem to contradict his claims and make Donaghy look like even more of a liar than we already knew him to be…………

Another immigration brawl set for Arizona, death via World Cup and Kate Gosselin refuses her destiny

- Arizonans, are you ready for another all-out immigration brawl? Once your legislature reconvenes this fall, you’re going to have one whether you like it or not. Fresh off its controversial bill that would force immigrants to carry proof of citizenship with them at all times and the national uproar the bill caused, lawmakers have now proposed a law would deny birth certificates to children born in the United States to illegal immigrant parents. Coming on the heels of passing the nation's toughest immigration law, this new measure is sure to cause plenty of controversy as well. It is already receiving support from numerous lawmakers, including John Kavanagh, a Republican state representative from Arizona who supports the proposed law aimed at "anchor babies," and said that the idea does not conflict with the U.S. Constitution. "If you go back to the original intent of the drafters ... it was never intended to bestow citizenship upon (illegal) aliens," said Kavanagh. It’s worth nothing that Kavanagh also supported the controversial Senate Bill 1070 -- the law that gave Arizona authorities expanded immigration enforcement powers, so he isn’t afraid to stand for something unpopular. Under current federal law, children born in the United States are automatically granted citizenship, regardless of their parents' residency status. It’s a bad arrangement that basically encourages pregnant Mexican women to make dangerous trips across the border just to have their Mexican children in the U.S. and guarantee citizenship for the kiddos. Lining up on the opposite side of the proposed law are mostly Democrats, like Kyrsten Sinema, a Democratic state representative. "Unlike (Senate Bill) 1070, it is clear this bill runs immediately afoul of the U.S. Constitution," she said. "While I understand that folks in Arizona and across the country support S.B. 1070, they do so because we have seen no action from the federal government. Unfortunately, the so-called 'anchor baby' bill does nothing to solve the real problems we are facing in Arizona." I don’t know, I’d say not having to pay for the well-being and other support of babies that are not really Americans would seem to address a few problems, but what do I know? Arizona Republicans plan to introduce the legislation this fall, so the fight will commence then………..

- Believe it or not, it seems that not everyone in South Africa is enraptured by the World Cup. That’s especially true for the family of David Makoeya. The Makoeya family was sitting down at its home in the small village of Makweya, Limpopo province when a dispute not uncommon to families in any country broke out. The four members of the family - Makoeya, his wife and two children - disagreed on what to watch. David Makoeya wanted to watch Germany play Australia in the World Cup, but the rest of his family wanted to watch a gospel show. "He said, 'No, I want to watch soccer,'" police spokesman Mothemane Malefo said Thursday. "That is when the argument came about.” Calling it an argument is a bit of an understatement, given what happened next. A literal fight broke out, with a 3-on-1 handicap match of sorts pitting David Makoeya against his wife and children. The 61-year-old Makoeya fought as hard as possible, but in the end, his family literally beat him to death. "In that argument, they started assaulting him," Malefo said. Apparently Makoeya wanted to change the channel but was refused the remote control. He got up out of his seat to change the channel, at which his 68-year-old wife Francina and two children, 36-year-old son Collin and 23-year-old daughter Lebogang, attacked. Malfeo was unsure what was used to kill Makoeya, but the carnage in the family living room suggested a violent struggle. "It appears they banged his head against the wall," Malefo said. "They phoned the police only after he was badly injured, but by the time the police arrived the man was already dead." What a scene that must have bee after these fools realize that dear old dad wasn’t getting up and that he was in serious trouble. All three were arrested Sunday night, but Lebogang was released on $200 bail Tuesday while the other two were still being held in custody. Francina and Collin Makoeya will reappear in the local Seshego Magistrates Court on July 27 and here’s hoping they receive the strictest possible punishment for their indefensible actions…………

- Has someone stolen your dream with a fraudulent mortgage? If so, Attorney General Eric Holder, FBI Director Robert Mueller and Housing and Urban Development Inspector General Kenneth Donohue want you to know that they are on your side. With each representing their own agency or government entity, the trio held a news conference in Washington to introduce "Operation Stolen Dreams," a three-month-long "takedown" of mortgage fraud schemes throughout the nation. The Justice department blew its own horn about its efforts to crack down on mortgage fraud, laying out an interagency plan to detect the scams. So far, the operation has already resulted in the arrests of 485 fraud artists. By the way, should we be calling them fraud artists? Doesn’t that glorify their efforts a bit much? It’s a bit like labeling a crack dealer a narcotics distribution artists, don’t you think? But I digress…….there are a whopping 21 agencies involved in Operation Stolen Dreams, looking to put a stop on scams that have already resulted in losses of about $2.3 billion. "It presents a significant risk to economic stability," Holder said. The 485 arrests seem impressive…..until you learn that the FBI remains in pursuit of more than 3,000 mortgage fraud cases, according to Mueller. He added that more arrests are expected and that the fight is far from over. "Mortgage fraud ruins lives, destroys families and devastates whole communities, so attacking the problem from every possible direction is vital," said Holder. "We will use every tool available to investigate, prosecute and prevent mortgage fraud, and we will not rest until anyone preying on vulnerable American homeowners is brought to justice." In all seriousness, this is a terrible crime and every effort to stop it should be made, but am I the only one who places some of the fault with the naïve, clueless and IQ-deficient fools who get suckered in by these scams? As with those who lose their life savings in Ponzi schemes, if you’re not smart enough to outthink the scam artists, then maybe they are not the only one to blame…………

- Why not, Kate Gosselin? What on Earth could possibly keep you from accepting your destiny as the first person to spend her entire adult life subsisting entirely on the notoriety and income created by your existence as a vapid, detestable and moronic reality show cast member? You’ve already exploited your now-defunct marriage and eight kids for the sake of pursuing your 15 minutes of fame, so what could cause you to turn down a reported chance at your own reality dating show? Sure, reality dating shows are ridiculous, contrived and the least-likely route to take if you’re searching for actual love, but what standards are you clinging to, K. Goss? You’re single and looking to date, so go ahead and have a network assemble 25 equally vapid, meat-headed and pathetic losers in a tricked-out mansion, vying for your affection (for the next two months until your inevitable breakup). Reports suggested that Gosselin has been "working on a deal to do a new reality dating series on ABC," and could possibly end up as the next "Bachelorette." While I wish both the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” franchise would just die, the fact is that if it’s going to continue, there is no better candidate for it than Kate Gosselin. Even “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” host Chris Harrison admitted on the radio show of teeth-bleaching, man-blouse-wearing, tip-frosting ass hat Ryan Seacrest that many people have asked him about the possibility of Gosselin becoming the "Bachelorette" for the show’s next season. “[Gosselin] said she would never do [‘The Bachelorette’], and then somebody asked me about it, and I said I don’t remember ever asking her to do the show. But I followed that up by saying, ‘From all I hear she’s actually a lovely woman and as nice as can be and I think that would be a phenomenal show,' " Harrison said. Showing his revolting, soul-less core, Seacrest chimed in that he idea was “genius,” and that if ABC isn’t trying to get Kate, they should start. Thanks for showing what a tool you are, Ry. Gosselin’s rep (am I the only one who finds it sickening that this woman has her own PR rep?) shot down the rumors as if his client has some sort of personal standards that would keep her from a reality dating show. “She doesn’t want to do a dating show; she was never going to do a dating show,” the rep said. “She’s very busy at work on her ‘Kate Plus 8’ specials and ‘Twist of Kate.’ Plus, you know, being a mom to 8 kids. Whatever you say, PR hack…………

- All of those jokes about cell phones ultimately killing you with the radiation they pump into your head may finally compel a city to slap cell phone companies with a mandate to disclose how much radiation their gadgets emit. San Francisco, California is about to become the first U.S. city to require cell phone companies to provide detailed information on radiation emissions. The city's board of supervisors voted 10-1 on Tuesday in favor of a law that would force handset makers to post in stores how much wireless radiation their phones give off, although the law presumably won't be able to force tech junkies to actually pay attention to the signs. Mayor Gavin Newsom is expected to sign the measure into law, much to the annoyance of cell phone makers. The suits on the city’s board of supervisors seems to believe that consumers will use the information to differentiate between cell phones that emit relatively low and high levels of radiation, whereas I think they will completely ignore the warnings and buy the iPhone or BlackBerry they want regardless of how much radiation it emits. Obviously, the law is based on scientific research suggesting that radiation emissions from cell phones is linked to cancer and brain tumors, although there is no scientific consensus on the matter. The law bears some similarities to measures requiring food makers to reveal trans fat levels in their products, revelations that are ignored in exactly the manner that I believe the phone radiations warnings will be overlooked. "It's information that's out there if you're willing to look hard enough," said Tony Winnicker, a spokesman for the mayor. "And we think that for the consumer for whom this is an area of concern, it ought to be easier to find." Perhaps the number of people who actually seek out that information should be a hint as to just how much people care, T. Winn. As expected, the mobile phone industry opposes the new law and insists that the lack of evidence that cell phone radiation is harmful to people should guide the decision-making process. "Rather than inform, the ordinance will potentially mislead consumers with point-of-sale requirements suggesting that some phones are 'safer' than others, based on radio frequency emissions," whined John Walls, a spokesman for the Cellular Telecommunications and Internet Association. According to the U.S. Federal Communications Commission, cell phones must not have a "specific absorption rate" of more than 1.6 watts per kilogram. That amount is "the amount of radio frequency energy absorbed by the body when using a mobile phone," according to the FCC. If you leave outside of San Francisco and want to find this information for your current or future cell phone, it is available online from manufacturers. The intent of the San Francisco law is to put the information in a place where it cannot be ignored. I wish the suits on the board of supervisors lots of success with that because I have seen Americans ignore warnings and advisories in the face of nearly every type of disaster or harm, so I think they have it on them to ignore this one too…………

Guns at youth sports, North Korea on the war path and the government v. obesity

- Is there any way to go to a youth sports event nowadays and not end up on the receiving end of either a punch or a loaded gun threat? If so, that’d be super. In the past month alone, we’ve had stories of off-duty cops throwing down their the coach of their kid’s Little League team over playing time, a youth soccer coach pulling a concealed weapon on parents who confronted him after the game over what they perceived as verbally abusive behavior toward their children and now, an off-duty corrections officer drawing his weapon after a Little League game at a freaking elementary school in Louisville, Ky. A police report states that Keith Evans, the parent of a player in the game, got into an argument with the officer. When the officer walked away from Evans, two other parents got into a fight. When the officer stepped in to break up the fight (a lot of fighting going on, even for a Little League game), Evans allegedly jumped in and threatened to "cut me," according to the officer. "Fearing for my life and others, I drew my weapon in an attempt to take [the] subject into custody," the officer states in the police report. Rather than stay and see if the officer really wanted to use his weapon, Evans reacted like a real man and fled into the crowd, after which the officer re-holstered his weapon. The Louisville Metro police were called, Evans was arrested and taken to Louisville Metro Corrections and now faces one count of menacing -- a misdemeanor. Ah, the beauty, sportsmanship and character-building of youth sports…………

- I’ve heard of political parties turning on one of their own, but typically that comes after a person is elected to office and does something inherently contradictory to that party’s values and ideals. It usually doesn’t happen right after that individual does nothing more than winning his or her state's Democratic Senate primary. Yet that’s exactly where political newcomer Alvin Greene finds himself after his stunning win in the South Carolina Democratic primary last week. Greene is attempting to rally the party behind him, but all party leaders want to do is launch an investigation into his victory. I’ll admit that an unemployed veteran who ran no campaign ads yet managed to defeat former state legislator Vic Rawl with almost 60 percent of the vote is curious. But this isn’t some wealthy, secretive stranger who just popped up on the scene and stole the election through his cunning and savvy. The guy is a veteran who is out of work and decided he would try his hand at politics. Because he chased his dream, he will now face Republican Sen. Jim DeMint in the general election. Sounds like a feel-good story to me, which is why I cannot fathom what is going through the head of South Carolina Rep. James Clyburn, who said Sunday that he has no plans to get behind Greene and is labeling Greene as "someone's plant." Clyburn, the majority whip, appeared on CNN's "State of the Union" and basically alleged a conspiracy theory about how Greene won the election. "I know a Democratic pattern. I know a Republican pattern, and I saw in the Democratic primary; elephant dung all over the place," Clyburn said. Wow…..an elephant dung blast, very classy. Now, it could be that someone helped Greene raise the money pay his state party's $10,440 filing fee. That fee seems to be at the heart of Clyburn’s inquiry and he has asked the S.C. Democratic Party to request that the federal government investigate the matter. Greene contends that he funded his campaign entirely with personal money. If so, it’s quite a story because who is unemployed, has any sort of personal savings sitting around and decides to take a huge gamble like running for political office? Not even running for office, really, but running for the right to run for political office in the general election. The situation has run all the way up the Democratic ladder to White House senior adviser David Axelrod, who was asked if Greene appears to him to be a legitimate candidate and said, "it doesn't appear so to me. The whole thing is odd. I don't really know how to explain it, and I don't think anybody else does either." Green’s primary opponent is also questioning the legitimacy of his win, with Rawl claiming that election results experts not affiliated with his campaign analyzed the results and their findings "concern the campaign, and should concern all of South Carolina." Literally everyone in the South Carolina Democratic Party is calling on Greene to step down, even party chair Carol Fowler. Oh, and there is also the fact that Greene is reportedly facing a felony charge of "disseminating, procuring or promoting obscenity" after allegedly showing University of South Carolina student pornographic pictures in a computer lab and suggesting they go to her room. There is that to consider as well, which seems like a solid idea because he was arrested on November 12, 2009, and those charges are still hanging over his head. But a political candidate who engages in sexual freakery and loves porn? Sounds like a perfect candidate to me. Greene himself has no intention of dropping out of the race and actually seems emboldened by the criticism. "I'm on the ballot from here on out. I'm in all the way, and I'm the best candidate for United States Senate in this race in South Carolina," Greene said in an interview Saturday, presumably with a straight face. To his credit, Greene (or whoever planted him as a candidate) has come up with issues he stands for and he says his platform focuses on jobs, education and justice. In response to those who question his legitimacy and theorize that he may have mental impairments, Greene laughs and says, "they're the knuckleheads." According to Greene, his background includes stints in the U.S. Air Force, South Carolina Air National Guard, U.S. Army and the South Carolina Army National Guard. The only black mark on his record that he will admit to is a discharge from the Army he called "involuntary." Regardless of how this one turns out, I have to admit that this is one Senate race I’ll be watching closely in the months ahead even though I have no direct ties to it whatsoever…………

- War! What is it good for? Pretty much everything, at least if you’re North Korea. More than anyone else out there, I’ve been openly speculating as to when North Korea would realize its dream of beating Iran to the punch and starting World War III and based on comments made by North Korean Ambassador Sin Son Ho , that dream is closer to reality than most of us realized. The showdown between the North and its South Korean neighbors over allegations that the North sank a South Korean ship with a torpedo attack is escalating quickly and after international findings that North Korea was indeed responsible, Ambassador Ho on Tuesday rejected the report , warning at the United Nations the dispute could lead to war. "A war may break out any time," he said before accusing South Korea of "fabricating" the results of the investigation into the sinking of the Cheonan. The ship sank in March and tensions on the Korean Peninsula immediately went up to Defcon-5 as speculation on who was responsible immediately focused on my man Kim Jong Il and his rogue state of Communist goodness. South Korea was understandably pissed after having 46 of its sailors die and wanted justice. Both nations presented their cases to the United Nations on Monday, and South Korea then pleaded with the Security Council to take "timely and appropriate measures." The North Korean envoy was not so diplomatic, throwing down the gauntlet by saying, in essence, if you all do anything to step to us, we’re going to fight right here, right now. "If the Security Council releases any documents against us, condemning or pressuring us ... then myself as diplomat, I can do nothing. ... The follow-up measures will be carried out by our military forces," Ambassador Ho said. Quote, end of freaking quote. Why not just carry a rocket-propelled grenade launcher with you to the speech to make your point? Perhaps invade the U.N.’s main chamber to emphasize where you’re coming from? In response to Ho’s comments, U.N. Security Council President Claude Heller said Monday that the U.N. body is "gravely concerned" about the latest tensions because of the potential "impact on peace and stability on the Korean peninsula." The North Korean take is predicated on the belief that these findings are a complete fabrication. Ho even went old-school children’s book and likened them to "some kind of fiction in Aesop's Fables," adding that, "The 'investigation result' is a complete fabrication from A to Z.” Maybe that’s just the inner destructionist in me, but that sounds an awful lot like a nation itching to nuke someone’s candy a**. So rage on North Korea, because we all know what’s coming…………

- Coffee costs enough at Starbucks that this announcement should have come long ago, but the leading provider of coffee-like, sugary beverages to the caffeinated world is finally offering free Wi-Fi connections in its stores. Perhaps because customers are cutting back on their venti chi latte purchases, Starbucks will now look to entice people with the prospect of being able to get online without having to break out their credit card. Beginning July 1, Starbucks will let anyone connect to its WiFi network for free. Additionally, this fall, Starbucks will tack on a free content network called Starbucks Digital Network, in partnership with Yahoo and other sites, which will include local content you won’t be able to read anywhere else. “Free Wi-Fi is in my mind just the price of admission — we want to create … new sources of content that you can only get at Starbucks,” chairman and president and CEO Howard Schulz announced at the Wired Business Conference. “This is a thing that doesn’t exist in any other consumer marketplace in America.” It may not, but free Wi-Fi exists just about everywhere else - local coffee houses, fast food joints, malls, etc. Still, Starbucks wouldn’t be making this move if there were no financial benefit. Schultz would have you believe that Starbucks hopes to make money from these initiatives simply by “enhancing the experience” and making the content “so compelling that it drives incremental traffic.” He’d better hope that content is pretty freaking compelling because McDonald’s and every other eatery in the world is offering both specialized coffee brews and free Internet access. The idea of free Wi-Fi will undoubtedly hit home for all of the losers who lug their laptops, printers, briefcases and files down to the local Starbucks and commandeer two tables in the corner to construct a second office for themselves, but will it draw in the non-Starbucks junkies? To access the Starbucks Digital Network, each customer must log in to Wi-Fi and the network with a unique identifier, allowing Starbucks to know where you are and who you are. In other words, you could be swapping your right to privacy for free Internet that could well come tagged with targeted messaging and advertising. Starbucks has done its due diligence on the idea, conducting the requisite focus groups and finding those groups receptive to the idea. To ensure that its content is fresh, current and enticing, Starbucks had inked a partnership with Yahoo and is talking to AOL’s Patch.com content-creation division about having it create customized content for the network. Whether all of this is enough to offset paying two or three times as much for your coffee, that’s for you to determine………

- Hey America, eat less fat and salt. How many times have you heard that message and overlooked it? Well, look at where it’s got you: the most overweight nation in the world. So now that an advisory committee on U.S. dietary guidelines is urging the government to decrease the recommended daily amount of saturated fat in American's diets from 10 percent to 7 percent of total calories consumed, maybe you should take the hint. The forward thinkers on this panel also recommend that Americans decrease the amount of daily sodium in their diets from 2,300 milligrams to less than 1,500 milligrams and calls for drinking fewer sugar-sweetened beverages. "It's sort of a gradual approach to decrease the caloric intake of the American public," says Penelope Slade-Sawyer, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Health Diseases Prevention and Health Promotion at the Department of Health and Human Services. By the way, another recommendation of the panel was that Americans get more exercise by repeating Penelope Slade-Sawyer’s full name and title over and over. The panel, consisting of 13 experts in nutrition and health, met six times over a 20-month period to develop its recommendations. Their report is now in the hands of the Department of Agriculture and the Department of Health and Human Services, but we need not wait for their take on it to heed the recommendations and shape up, America. "This report is a crucial step in the development of the dietary guidelines for Americans," says Robert Post, Deputy Director of the Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion at the Department of Agriculture. The report should be key in the government’s process of issuing new dietary guidelines later this year. Perhaps if we heed these words of wisdom, we can reverse the troubling trend of childhood obesity, which has tripled in the past 30 years.” Every section of this report was developed in a way that addresses the challenges of obesity," Slade-Sawyer said. From your words to the public’s ears, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Health Diseases Prevention and Health Promotion at the Department of Health and Human Services………

Life post-NBA tough for Antoine Walker, Congress wants a piece of BP's a** and a big week for dorks/gamers

- Life has not gone the way Antoine Walker would have hoped, I have to guess. A guy who made in excess of $100 million during a fairly long NBA career that featured three All-Star appearances certainly doesn’t envision himself some day being bankrupt on account of gambling debts and ordered by a judge to face trial on felony bad check charges that allege he failed to repay almost $1 million in gambling debts and penalties to three Las Vegas casinos. That decision came down Monday, when Walker and his lawyer, Jonathan Powell, appeared before Las Vegas Justice of the Peace Melanie Andress-Tobiasson. Judge Andress-Tobiasson allowed Walker to remain free without bail until his June 30 arraignment in state court but noted that Walker hadn't made any progress repaying some $770,000 he owes on a promise last November to pay $905,050 in restitution, court fees and penalties. All he has contributed toward retiring that debt is the $135,000 cash bail he posted following his arrest at a celebrity golf tournament last July in Lake Tahoe. Because of his failure to make any progress toward paying off the debt, Andress-Tobiasson bound Walker over for trial in Clark County District Court on three criminal bad check charges that, combined, could get him probation or send him to prison for up to 12 years if he's convicted. Neither Walker nor his lawyer had any comment as they left the courthouse following their brief appearance, but one local official who is part of the case did have something to say. Bernie Zadrowski, head of the Clark County district attorney's bad check unit, admitted outside the courtroom that Walker's Chapter 7 bankruptcy filing last month in Florida complicated the Las Vegas criminal case. The prosecutor in the case did offer some hope for Walker in terms of avoiding jail time, saying he and Powell were still negotiating toward resolving the case without sending Walker to prison. The case stems from the $1 million in casino markers, or gambling loans, that Walker used between July 2008 and January 2009 at Caesars Palace, Planet Hollywood and the Red Rock Resort. Former NBA player or not, taking out that amount in loans for a six-month period is a huge red flag. You have a serious gambling problem if you need seven figures worth of markers for six months and because Nevada law treats unpaid markers as bad checks, and they can be turned over to the district attorney for prosecution. As part of his bankruptcy filing in Florida, Walker claims $12.7 million in liabilities and $4.3 million in assets, including the 2006 NBA championship ring he won with the Miami Heat. He is no longer an active NBA player and earning back that $8.4 million difference between assets and liabilities will be difficult. Playing professional basketball in Puerto Rico, which Walker did briefly during the 2009-10 season, doesn’t pay nearly as well………….

- Dear BP: We would like you to conjure up $20 billion to pay for the recent oil spill in the Gulf region and we’re going to need that money soon. Say, the end of this week if you can swing it. That edict came down from High Emperor/Senate majority leader Harry Reid and members of the Senate Democratic Caucus, who sent a letter to BP CEO Tony Hayward in a letter on Monday with their demands. "Establishment of this account would serve as an act of good faith and as a first step towards ensuring that there will be no delay in payments or attempt to evade responsibility for damages," the letter said. Of course, scrounging up that sort of money could be difficult, especially when the oil giant has been pouring its money into buying up Google search results so that positive stories about its attempts to clean up the massive oil spill appear first in any user searches and spending millions of dollars on television ads to promote its commitment to the clean-up efforts. On top of that, BP had about $7 billion in cash as of March 31, according to its most recent financial statement. With the company scheduled to pay out dividends on June 21, the budget becomes even tighter. A meeting on the payment of those dividends was to take place Monday, so perhaps some cooler heads will prevail and postpone those payments for now. Neither Reid nor any of his caucus cohorts have said whether the $20 billion would be requested as a lump sum or by installment payments. Personally, I think ten low, low payments of $2 billion sounds a little better, much like those three low payments of $19.95 to buy that ridiculous upside-down tomato planter thingy that is constantly being advertised in infomercials. In laying out their case against BP, the senators were heavy-handed in likening this spill to the Exxon Valdez tanker spill in March 1989, when more than 11 million gallons of oil spilled into Alaska's Prince William Sound and Exxon failed to live up to its initial promises to make reparations. "After the spill, damages totaled more than $7 billion; although Exxon continued making massive profits after the accident, it fought liability at every step and ultimately paid far less than the billions of dollars worth of damages it had caused many, many years later," the letter lamented. Under the terms of the caucus’ demands, the special account would be managed by an independent third party and would pay for clean up costs and lost compensation to individuals and businesses affected by the oil spill. The letter seems to suggest than establishing this fund would do more for BP’s public relations troubles than its search engine hijinks and numerous TV ads. "Although creating this account at this level in no way limits BP's liability, we believe it will do more to improve BP's public image than the costly public relations campaign your company has launched," the letter states. Every one of the Senate’s 59 Democratic senators signed the letter with four exceptions: Mary Landrieu, D-La.; Kent Conrad, D-N.D.; Robert Byrd, D-W.V.; and Jeff Bingaman, D-N.M. Bingaman is the chairman of the Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources and Mary Landrieu is the chairwoman of the Senate Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship, so perhaps they feel something of a conflict of interest in inking their names to the letter. As the letter goes into the mail, President Obama is busy making his fourth visit to the Gulf region since the April disaster before returning to Washington, D.C., to cram an 8 p.m. ET televised address on the oil spill down the throats of the public on all four major networks. The senators have requested a response from BP by Friday, so we’ll have to see whether Hayward and his crew can man up and reply……….

- Video game dorks, this week is your week. But then again, you already knew that. This week is the Electronic Entertainment Expo, the annual trade show where the biggest news in the video gaming world is made each and every year. The event, known as E3 in the gaming world, has a huge reveal this time around - futuristic motion sensors that could get rid of the need for a game controller. Gaming in 3-D will also be on display and industry experts claim that the announcements could change the way people play games. E3 has grown exponentially since starting in 1995 as a spinoff from the Consumer Electronics Show, which remains a huge draw in Las Vegas every year as a showcase for a wide range of gadgets and gizmos. But E3 has taken on a life of its own, serving as a launch point for the Sony PlayStation, the Nintendo 64, PlayStation 2, Xbox 360, GameCube and the games "Resident Evil," "Starcraft" and "Tomb Raider." This year’s event runs through the end of the day today and while it seems like a tough task surpassing last year’s appearance by the two surviving Beatles - Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney - to promote "The Beatles: Rock Band," this year’s E3 may well do that before all is done. The major players at this year’s show have been Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony. All three will have upgrades and add-ons to existing systems that promise to advance the gaming industry. Much of the buzz has been around Microsoft’s unveiling on Sunday of its new Kinect system, which has been the talk of the gaming industry for the past year. The system, which works in tandem with the Xbox360, utilizes a camera and gesture recognition to let players use their whole bodies to run, shoot or most anything else that their in-game avatars do. In short, it takes the motion-sensing ability of the Wii and turns your entire body into the controller. Attendees at last year’s E3 show received a sneak peek of the system, but it was nothing compared to Sunday’s show, which featured gamers playing the Cirque du Soleil game. Sony looked to make waves of its own with a new motion controller for the PlayStation 3, expected to be similar the Wii and cost less than $100. As for Nintendo, the Japanese game maker is hoping to add 3-D to its bag of tricks and showed off a new stand-alone device -- the portable Nintendo 3DS. The system promises the enticing possibility of glasses-free 3-D, which sounds good even to non-gaming-dorks like myself. Social gaming also carved out its niche at this year’s show, with developers looking to strike it big with the next "FarmVille" or "Mafia Wars." Regardless of your system of choice or preferred platform, gamer dorks, hopefully you all have enjoyed your annual time in the sun…………

- I preface this next story by stating that I could not care less about either one of these chicks as individuals and I firmly believe that both of their music sucks on such an exponential level that they should retroactively be stripped of every dollar they have ever made and forced to destroy every shred of music they have ever recorded in any form. However, if Katy Perry and Lady Gaga want to scrap and have a chick fight, I’m down. They both produce crap-tacular music, they are both gimmicky hacks who resort to hideous outfits and over-produced, synthesized songs and theatrics to sell their music, so they actually have a lot in common. Neither of them would be a great loss to the music world if they fought and were incapacitated or jailed as a result of said fight. As such, I am urging Katy Perry to reconsider her assertions that she is not feuding with Lady Gaga and that the two of them are cool. “I’m a massive fan,” Perry claimed over the weekend. Why? Because Gaga dresses like a giant drop of blood or as if she’s been swallowed up by a flock of mutant swans? Because her lyrics are so ridiculous, thin, superficial and moronic? I liked it better when the rumors of a Perry-Gaga feud were alive and well after Perry tweeted that “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.” Everyone assumed that the Tweet was a direct attack on Gaga’s “Alejandro,” video which uses religious imagery. Maybe that Tweet was about the video or maybe it was about something else, but Perry is sticking to her story, claiming it was “more of a non-specific, general thing. But everybody made it out to be a cat fight. I think people love cat fights. It’s a turn on for people. But everybody knows I am a massive Lady Gaga fan. If you look through my tweets, there will be about ten of them that say that I am obsessed with her.” That is a huge disappointment and I could not be more bummed out to hear it. However, I do get a kick out of Perry claiming that her Tweet was due to her background, being raised as a Christian and having a problem with what she regards as blasphemous behavior regardless of who the perpetrator is. Remember, this is a girl whose first big single was a song about making out with other chicks and enjoying it. Nothing screams Christian values quite like lesbian love, K.P. Asked about her objection to that sort of behavior, Perry cited a recent example of boyfriend Russell Brand, who said something she didn’t like when they were driving around L.A. “He said something a bit off color, kind of blasphemous about the Lord Jesus Christ, and I smacked him for it. It’s just kind of deeply rooted inside of me, and hard to get away from,” Perry said. Just not deeply rooted enough for you to actually embrace any of the actual values of Christianity…………

- Let the battle begin for the riches of Afghanistan. Now that the United States has discovered nearly $1 trillion in untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan, go ahead and assume that the brawl is on for the right to dig up and profit from those riches of the earth. The find is above and beyond any previously known reserves and enough to fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the Afghan war itself. Those claims come from none other than senior American government officials, so they would seem to have at least some merit. Included among the previously unknown deposits are massive veins of iron, copper, cobalt, gold and industrial metals like lithium. The veins are so large and include so many minerals that are essential to modern industry that Afghanistan could literally become one of the most important mining centers in the world over time. In fact, the hyperbole is being ratcheted up a notch by none other than the Pentagon itself, which stated in an internal memo that Afghanistan could become the “Saudi Arabia of lithium.” Now I don’t know how much you know about the industrial mineral world, but being the “Saudi Arabia of lithium” is a bit like being Jay-Z on the hip-hop scene - bad ass. Lithium, aside from being the title of a great song by Nirvana, is a key raw material in the manufacture of batteries for laptops and BlackBerrys. Discovery of Afghanistan’s mineral wealth was made by a small team of Pentagon officials and American geologists, who recently briefed the Afghan government and President Hamid Karzai on their findings. Of course, now Afghanistan must develop the infrastructure to handle such a massive mining industry, but with the enormity of this find, investments to make that happen could begin flowing in sooner rather than later. “There is stunning potential here,” Gen. David H. Petraeus, commander of the United States Central Command, said on Saturday. “There are a lot of ifs, of course, but I think potentially it is hugely significant.” Of course, mining has a long way to go to best opium as the country’s biggest export, but being legal might give minerals something of an advantage. With Afghanistan’s existing economy in shambles as its war rages on, the boost is sorely needed. You can also bet that the Taliban will want to find a way to get its hooks into this new endeavor and turn a profit. “This will become the backbone of the Afghan economy,” said Jalil Jumriany, an adviser to the Afghan minister of mines. Ironically, the find comes as tensions between Karzai’s government and the White House are at their highest. Will the promise of incredible riches be enough to get everyone on the same page? Will the mining industry become just another arena for the corruption that is so pervasive throughout Afghanistan and its government? After all, it was just last year when Afghanistan’s minister of mines was accused by American officials of accepting a $30 million bribe to award China the rights to develop its copper mine. The only certainty here seems to be the inevitable court battles and legal fights between provincial and tribal leaders in mineral-rich districts, as the mineral deposits are scattered throughout the country. Deciding who the minerals belong to will be an all-out war of its own and the fighting is about to begin…………

Chuck Liddell's face caved in, attacks on rallies in Kenya and a failure to urge originality in Hollywood

- That didn’t end well. Former UFC light-heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell desperately wanted to fight again to prove that he still had it and that he remains a viable MMA fighter, but his best efforts only got his face caved in by Rich Franklin at UFC 115 in Vancouver. Liddell said all the right things leading up to the fight, put himself through rigorous training and came into the fight in great shape. He attacked from the opening bell and for the first four minutes and 55 seconds of the first round, he was on the rampage. He manage to break Franklin’s arm and was giving more good shots than he was taking - right up to the moment Franklin dropped him like a sack of cement mix with a solid shot to the head. That shot ended Liddell’s night and most likely his career, as UFC President Dana White said after the fight that Liddell will not fight again for UFC. "I'll be the first one to say he does not have the same chin he used to," White said. "You get to a point in your career and the chin just goes. I've been around fighters my whole life and you could have hit Chuck in the face with a pole at one time and it wouldn't have knocked him out. He had an incredible chin. We all get old. Michael Jordan was the greatest basketball player in the world. It happens to everybody. He wanted this and he gave it his best shot. He went out like Chuck Liddell would. He was blasting and throwing bombs and he gave the fans a last, good fight with the Iceman.” For White, that’s high praise and from a guy who is brutally honest about his product and his fighters after bouts, to not have anything critical to say about Liddell shows you a) how much respect White has for Liddell and b) how certain White is that Liddell’s career is over. Quitting is never easy for a great athlete or competitor and for a guy who was long revered as the most feared fighter in MMA, walking away has proven impossible thus far. Perhaps having to go to hospital after the fight and suffering his third consecutive knockout loss will convince him otherwise. It was a great 12-year run for Liddell and in his prime, there was no tougher MMA fighter than him. Still, the image of Franklin caving his face in and sending a noticeably more fragile Liddell to the ER has to be the straw that finally breaks this MMA legend’s back…………..

- Thanks for nothing, America. Never mind the idea of pushing Hollywood to come up with original concepts that we haven’t seen a time or three on the big screen. Let’s just hand our money over to see remakes of old movies that can be easily recycled and run at your local multiplex while not necessitating any real effort on the part of the studios. That’s exactly what you’ve done by making The Karate Kid the top film at the box office this weekend, forking over your money to see Jaden Smith rip off Ralph Macchio and help his film earn $56 million for the frame. Despite being two hours and 20 minutes long, Karate Kid received overwhelmingly positive ratings from moviegoers and easily outdistanced The A-Team, which earned $26 million for its opening weekend. That’s well below the take Twentieth Century Fox was expecting from the big-budget adaptation of the popular ‘80s sitcom. For a movie that received a ton of promotional support, those earnings are subpar at best. Third place went to Dreamworks Animation’s Shrek Forever After, holding strong with another $15.8 million, a 38-percent decline from last weekend. That raises the film’s cumulative total to $210 million, a number that makes it the lowest-grossing of the Shrek releases by a wide margin. In fourth place for the weekend was returner Get Him to the Greek, which made another $10.1 million for a running total of $36.5 million. The last of the top five was Ashton Kutcher-Katherine Heigl flick Killers, which held fairly strong and made $8 million. The rest of the top 10 consisted of: Prince of Persia (No. 6 with $6.5 million for a three-week gross of $72.3 million), Marmaduke (No. 7 after falling 48 percent for a tally of $6 million its second weekend in theaters, the über-disappointing Sex and the City 2 (No. 8 with $5.5 million cumulative total of $84.7 million, Iron Man 2 (No. 9 as it nears the $300-million mark, earning $4.5 million) and Splice (No. 10 with $2.8 million, making for running tally of $13 million in two weeks of release despite outstanding reviews). All told, some solid movies in the top 10, making it a rare weekend at the movies…………

- Firing squads in 2010 fascinate me. They are a relic of a bygone era; a bizarre entity that most states in the United States have forgotten about with the invention of newfangled technology like electric chairs and lethal injection. Heck, the guillotine is probably the only means of execution that seems more outdated than the firing squad right about now. As such, you can bet that when I hear a Utah death row inmate is one step closer to his scheduled execution by firing squad early Friday, I’m going to have a thought on it. Ronnie Lee Gardner is scheduled to be gunned down by an armed posse on Friday after the Utah Board of Pardons and Parole on Monday refused to commute his sentence to life in prison without the possibility of parole. The decision came after the board held a two-day commutation hearing for at the Utah State Prison on Thursday and Friday. Both Gardner and defense attorney Andrew Parnes argued during the hearing that he is a changed man who regrets killing two men in two separate escape attempts in 1984 and 1985. Let me stop right there for a moment. This guy attempted to escape from prison twice after being convicted of a felony to end up in prison in the first place and in those two attempts, he killed two men? First of all, those are terrible escape plans. I watched every episode of Prison Break on Fox (although I wish I had missed the series finale - it sucked) and I don’t remember Michael Scofield’s escape plan calling for him killing anyone during the escape itself. Second, who cares if you’re a changed man? Seriously, who gives a crap? There are just some things you cannot apologize for and killing two men in your futile attempts to escape the punishment you ere originally given for a crime you committed is one of them. If you were truly a changed man, you would not have attempted a second escape after the first one ended with a dead body and you back behind bars. Fact is, even if Gardner is telling the truth about being a changed man with a dream to help keep teens from making the mistakes he did, his argument doesn’t carry much weight. For starters, how does he propose that he be punished for two murders when he was already in prison for another crime? What, is he willing to surrender dessert for all weekday meals for the rest of his life to make his sentence harsher? Second, what kids is he going to help avoid the mistakes he made? How many kids are there who have been sentenced to prison and killed a man trying to escape, thus allowing them to benefit from his wisdom of not attempting a second escape that leads to the loss of another life? Whether I agree with Assistant Attorney General Thomas Brunker’s citation of Gardner's "long history of relentless violence" or not, the bottom line is that the least Gardner can do is stand in front of that firing squad to pay for the death of attorney Michael Burdell during an escape attempt at a courthouse in Salt Lake City. He has lived two-plus decades longer than he should have and should consider himself fortunate for that. Now, line up those men with rifles, blindfold Gardner and let’s make it happen…………

-If there is one thing I cannot and will not stand for, it’s governments attacking rallies by its citizens as they look to exercise their right to speak out and criticize those governing them. That means you and I have problems right now, Kenyan government. After you (allegedly) instigated a grenade attack on a rally against a draft constitution that would recognize Islamic courts, the National Council of Churches accused you of being complicit in the attack, which killed six people. Groups throughout Kenya are lining up on both sides of the issue, which the country votes on Aug. 4. Observers worry that if groups both supporting and opposing the draft constitution continue their violent tactics, even more violence could erupt in between now and Aug. 4. That will surely be a major day for all Kenyans, as the referendum will be the first nationwide vote since Kenya's 2007 presidential election. In case you have forgotten, that vote was followed by the deaths of more than 1,000 people in days of rampaging violence after the vote. Kenyan political leaders were quick to attempt to put distance between the blasts, which police said were caused by grenades, from the political issues around the referendum. A predictable comment from Prime Minister Raila Odinga labeled the attack an "isolated case." That idea was rejected by the National Council of Churches, which blamed the attack on the government and supporters of the draft constitution. "Having been informed over and over that the passage of the new constitution during the referendum is a government project, we are left in no doubt that the government, either directly or indirectly, had a hand in this attack. Who else in this country holds explosive devices?" said a statement by the council and other aligned groups. Even the United States has a role in this situation, as noted F-bomb dropper, U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, urged Kenyans to embrace constitutional reform during a speech in Nairobi last week. Those views are not shared by many prominent politicians and Kenya's church leaders because the draft defeated because of allowances for abortion and Islamic courts that deal with family matters. The explosions themselves tore through a downtown Nairobi park at dusk Sunday as a rally against the constitutional draft was winding down. Only a few attendees were injured by the blast, but many more were wounded as the crowd of thousands stampeded out of the park after the second explosion. For Americans, the explosion could definitely stir up memories of the last major bombing in Nairobi, in 1998, when the U.S. embassies in the Kenyan capital and in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, were hit simultaneously, killing 225 people in an attack blamed on al-Qaida. This time around, it’s a strictly Kenyan issue that led to the attack, but the question now is who is responsible………..

- Your iPad may not be as secure as you would hope and Apple’s tablet computer continues to have unresolved security issues even after AT&T ‘fessed up to its iPad 3G customers about a security breach. A day after that revelation, the very hackers that exploited the vulnerability in AT&T's website claimed that there are still lurking security problems related to the iPad. Hacker group Goatse Security said Monday that a "skilled attacker" could still exploit a significant weakness in the iPad's Safari Internet browser. As with so many problems users can encounter, this one would be brought on by naïveté and cluelessness of the person doing the browsing. In order to open up the vulnerable spot, a user would have to click a malicious link, which could then allow someone to gain unwanted access to that user's iPad. In a post on its Web site, Goatse released an explanation of how the bug works: To protect against hacks, Internet browsers typically restrict websites' access to computers through communications channels known as "ports." But Apple's Safari browser failed to block off some illegitimate ports with unusually high numbers. A hacker could use those unguarded channels, in combination with Safari features that automatically execute software requests, to wreak havoc. In short, there is a hole in the iPad’s version of Safari that allows someone to have full control over the iPad of the idiotic person who clicked on the malicious link in the first place. Apple has already fixed the bug on the desktop and laptop version of Safari, doing in March when the security glitch was first discovered. At present, no such patch is available for the mobile version, which makes iPad users (those with real-life and computer IQs below 44) exposed to the attacks of hackers looking to do them harm………

TLC stoops to new lows, India becomes more modern and a victory from scumbags and scoundrels

- Good Lord, TLC. I figured that with your shows about toddler beauty pageants, midgets and the like, there was no depth you would not sink to, but even I didn’t think I would ever see you go this low. Seriously, a show called Extreme Poodles, wherein poodles get turned into living pieces of art by groomers? That is depressing, infuriating and astounding, all at once. Basically, each show centers around four groomers attempting to one-up each other by doing hideous things to their respective poodles. Of course, poodles take forever to groom, so you know this has to be quite the fun experience for these dogs. They get to have some freak who couldn’t cut it as a barber for humans clipping their fur, dying it ridiculous colors and basically treating them like a living, breathing, furry topiary. If you are interested in watching this freak fest, it will air Sunday nights at 9 p.m. on TLC, the same network that previously subjected you to those child labor-exploiting knobs Jon and Kate Gosselin. However, if you are like me and a) love dogs and not seeing them tortured, b) have never wondered for even one second what a poodle would look like with its fur dyed pink and an ungodly number of bows in its hair c) think that anyone taking part in this fiasco should be dragged out to the nearest open field and put in front of a firing squad, then I’m guessing you have much, much better things to do with your Sunday nights. Orange County Choppers was, is and likely will always be the one and only quality show on TLC, so thanks for showing that if you can’t be great, you may as well do everything in your power to suck exponentially, TLC………….

- Score one for the cheaters, liars, scumbags and scoundrels of the world. Disgraced slugger Bar-roid Bonds scored a big legal victory Friday when a federal appeals court ruled that evidence the government says would prove he lied about using steroids is inadmissible in court. The San Francisco-based 9th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals handed baseball’s (illegitimate) all-time home-run leader the victory in a divided opinion, ruling the government cannot use urine samples and other evidence in its perjury case against the former San Francisco Giants star. The decision is a blow to the government’s case, which has been in progress since December 2008, when Bonds was indicted in federal court on 10 counts of making false statements to a grand jury -- specifically, denying that he knowingly took steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs. Bonds’ criminal trial has been delayed while the legal issues are being worked out and even after this decision, the picture isn’t exactly crystal clear. It’s still uncertain as to whether the Justice Department will now appeal to the Supreme Court in an effort to allow the evidence to be used in court and if it does, the case will drag out even longer. However, the legal dominoes haven’t exactly been falling the government’s way up to this point. This ruling upholds a February 2009 ruling from U.S. District Judge Susan Illston that there was no proof that positive steroid tests from 2000 and 2001 were Bonds' and that out-of-court statements from his former trainer, Greg Anderson, are hearsay. Additionally, the court ruled that Anderson’s continued refusal to testify against Bonds (probably because Bonds is paying him to do so) means evidence allegedly gathered by him is considered "inadmissible, since he would be unable to vouch for its authenticity." Most legal experts believe that this ruling severely damages the foundations of the governments case and could well spell its demise. In reaching its decision, the court’s majority found that when Anderson allegedly took urine samples and delivered them to a Bay-area lab known as BALCO, there was no evidence that those samples belonged to Bonds. Furthermore, the appeals court concluded Anderson was an "independent contractor" -- not directly hired by Bonds. As a result, Bonds also did not control the samples and thus, Anderson would need to testify in person on the material and the chain of possession. The government’s response was to call BALCO executive James Valente to the stand to testify Anderson told him the samples indeed came from Bonds, but the court ultimately sided with the arguments presented by Bonds' lawyers. "Because the government was attempting to use Anderson's out-of-court statements to prove the truth of what they contained, Bonds argued that Anderson's statements were inadmissible hearsay and that the lab results could not be authenticated as Bonds' in that manner," the court’s majority wrote in its decision. Mind you, none of this is going to convince anyone to abandon their already-held position on Bar-roid and whether or not he took steroids. Everyone is staunchly entrenched in their foxhole on that one and those of you who believe that Bar-roid isn’t a cheater……well, you’re still wrong………….

- The times, they are a-changin’. Bob Dylan wrote those lyrics years ago, but they still apply to most any time and place and right now, they apply to India. For centuries, the Hindu-centric nation has been ironclad in its adherence to its caste system and strict religious beliefs, with the latter of those two placing strict regulations on the institution of marriage and also on the idea of divorce. In short, Indian marriages were basically a lifetime commitment whether the husband and wife changed their minds along the way or not. However, the world is constantly changing and evolving and that means India too. Word came down Friday that government officials are implementing measures to stem delays in seeking an early end to failed marriages. In a surprising decision, India's federal cabinet approved "irretrievable breakdown of marriage" as a ground for couples to part ways. Information and broadcasting minister Ambika Soni confirmed the new law, which reverses original Hindu marriage laws, under which both estranged partners have to appear at court proceedings for settlement of their lawsuit for divorce by consent. The problems have arisen from the practice of a divorce petitioner skipping tribunal dates deliberately in order to keep the case dragging in India's notoriously sluggish legal system. "This has been causing considerable hardship to the party in dire need of divorce," Soni said. The legislation will now go before parliament and the current administration hopes that its passage will eliminate harassment of either party in the case and abuse of the existing law on dissolving marriages. While no official data on divorces is readily available, those in the know say four in 100 marriages fail in India. Now that India is intent on stepping onto the global stage in terms of economy and authority in world matters, modernizing its stance on divorce does make sense. Crime data shows a surge in crimes against women, with police recording 95,856 crimes against women in 2008, up from 140,601 in 2003, according to the National Crime Records Bureau. Many of those are believed to stem from unhappy and dysfunctional marriages, specifically from couples bound together in holy matrimony who aren’t able to obtain a divorce in a reasonable amount of time. Whether this new law will address that issue or not, no one can say, but it certainly is another sign that India is becoming more Westernized by the day…………

- Muscular dudes without shirts on have become a must for any company looking to sell deodorant, body spray or body wash nowadays and as it turns out, the gig of being that shirtless dude pitching said products can be both profitable and a stepping stone to something much more substantial. One of those shirtless men, Isaiah Mustafa, has gone from being the star of Old Spice commercials to signing a talent deal with NBC. The network is still trying to determine which new or existing series to add Mustafa to, but he does have previous acting experience to his credit, having played small parts in shows like NCIS, Ugly Betty, and Castle. Those roles all came before he booked the Old Spice ads, which popped up on the pop culture radar in large part because one of them aired during the Super Bowl. Mustafa admitted in an interview shortly thereafter that the Old Spice ads had changed his life and drastically altered his perception and status around Hollywood. “What’s funny is no one knew me as being funny before,” Mustafa stated. “Because the only things I had done were these episodics and procedurals where I was kind of this tough guy, prison guard, cop, or FBI guy. So now, people are like, ‘Oh, he’s funny.’ That commercial … really helped me to climb that ladder of success.” Not only did the ads showcase his comedic side, but Mustafa admitted that they opened doors for auditions and raised his profile within the industry. “People in the industry recognize me. Other actors recognize me at auditions. [A TSA agent] at the airport said, ‘Are you that guy on the commercial? I saw you on the TV last night!’ I was kind of like, ‘You’re asking me questions? Shouldn’t you be, like, checking for bombs?’ So now that he’s signed a deal with NBC, is he done with the deodorant and body wash ads? Not yet, he’s not. Mustafa just shot another Old Spice commercial, which is set to air in the coming months. By the time it does, he could well be a cast member of one of the shows during which the commercial airs…………

- Could it be? Eating dirt is actually a solid health choice? If you believe a group of microbiologists at The Sage Colleges in Troy, New York (and really, who doesn’t believe the learned minds at a fine institution like The Sage Colleges in Troy, New York?), the answer is yes. These scientists found that feeding mice a bacteria that is commonly found in soil had a powerful effect on how well they figured out how to get through a complex maze. Continuing the age-old tradition of making rodents run through mazes, researchers experimented with feeding mice the bacteria and seeing how it impacted their performance. In the end, the researchers were “very surprised" at how much improvement the bacteria, Mycobacterium vaccae, made in the performance of mice that got the bacteria compared to mice that didn't, researcher Dorothy Matthews said. She and colleague, Susan Jenks, presented their results during a recent meeting of the American Society for Microbiology in San Diego, after which I hope they served everyone some delicious mud pies. In the study, the mice that received the bacteria navigated the maze in half the time it took for a control group that did not receive the bacteria. The maze was a complex one, with mice having to make a total of eight decisions about which pathway to follow. “It was complicated. If I was going to a place where I needed to make eight decisions about turning left or right, I would consider that a pretty high order task," Matthews said. Based on these findings, one might surmise that we should all head outside, find the nearest patch of exposed earth and slam our faces into it for a snack. However, Matthews and Jenks caution that there is no need for you to go out and munch on dirt, as the bacteria is so common that we are probably exposed to a sufficient dose every time we walk down a path, or work in the garden, or simply dig in the dirt. The findings build on previous studies showing that the bacteria injected into mice stimulated growth of some neurons in the brain that resulted in increased levels of serotonin and decreased anxiety. "The notion that a bacterium that could influence the function of the brain in a positive way was fascinating to me," Matthews said. Serotonin has been linked with accelerated learning and that’s what inspired Matthews and her team to measure how much it helped mice in a controlled lab experiment. Their subjects were 20 immature 38-day-old-mice (mice in that range are notorious for being the immature rebels of the rodent world) that were given a couple of weeks to mature and feel comfortable in their new home. Their reward for successfully completing the maze was a slice of bread coated in peanut butter. In the end, the bacteria-eating mice were more focused and successful in the maze than their non-bacteria-eating counterparts. Now if we can only find a way to get dirt on the menus of fine eateries across this great nation………..