Feeble pleas for Big Ben, Ahmadinejad clears a room like a rank-smelling far and Steven Spielberg chooses his next project

- So things didn’t go very well in New York on Monday when Iranian President/Dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad came a-callin’. For starters, Ahmadinejad insulted nearly every nation imaginable in his speech, ripping America and Israel especially hard at a global gathering on disarmament hosted by one of the very countries he bashed so mercilessly. The situation became so unbearable and out of control that delegates from the United States, the United Kingdom and other countries walked out as Ahmadinejad offered up his own ideas to thwart the spread of nuclear weapons. While saluting himself as a leader who deplores the possession and use of nuclear arms and labeling such weapons "a fire against humanity" rather than weapons "for defense," Ahmadinejad claimed that current nuclear-weapon states want to "monopolize" the weapons and "peaceful nuclear energy." Before he even made it to the halfway point of his speech, the lower-level Western diplomats in the hall walked out. Now I’m the first to say that quitting on something is not cool, but I think I can find it in my hear to forgive these diplomats. Maybe they just wanted to attend another event at the Conference of the Parties to the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons or perhaps they all just needed to use the restroom at the same time. Well, either that or they were tired of ridiculous, untrue bullsh*t being spewed by a fascist dictator looking to mask his own nuclear ambitions, but one or the other. As for Ahmadinejad……look, no one is less a fan of these big, stuffy, boring conventions than I am. Dudes (and women) in suits, sitting in stuffy, high-ceilinged conference rooms at mahogany tables discussing theories and policies is enough to put anyone to sleep. But when the issue up for debate is how to cut the world's stockpile of nuclear weapons, pissing off multiple diplomats to the point they walk out on your speech is somewhat counterproductive. Yes, a major topic at the convention is Iran's nuclear program, so it’s leader is going to have a lot to say about the debate. We all know the positions each side has staked out on this issue: Iran insists its nuclear programs are for energy purposes only and the rest of the world is sure they want nuclear weapons with which to blow their enemies off the face of the Earth. In his speech, Ahmadinejad made misguided and misappropriated references to those who "carried out the first atomic bombardment are among the most hated individuals in human history," a reference to the U.S. bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II. He claimed in true paranoid fashion that the United States continues to threaten to use such weaponry against other countries, including Iran. "The first atomic weapons were produced and used by the United States," he said. "This seemed, apparently, to provide the United States and its allies with the upper hand in World War II. However, it became the main source of the development and the spread of nuclear weapons by the others and brought about the nuclear arms race.” Ahmadinejad then unloaded some of his heaviest verbal salvos on the country he most wants to obliterate with the nuclear weapons his country insists that it is NOT developing: Israel. He alleged that Israel has been stockpiling nuclear weapons and threatens its neighbors. Yes, tiny Israel is looking to spark a war in the Middle East because it’s such a freaking badass, warmongering state. How convenient that Ahmadinejad wants "dismantling of nuclear weapons stationed in the military bases of the United States and its allies in other countries, including Japan" while his own country strengthens its nuclear capabilities. He wrapped up by urging President Barack Obama to remain true to his campaign promises of change and said now is the time for such actions. Whatever you say, M. Thanks for clearing the room like an odoriferous fart, bro……….

- As previous stated and covered in depth in this very space, I am a HUGE fan of protests and riots. However, that doesn’t mean I automatically give a thumbs-up to every riot that takes place around the world. There are standards to be met and excellence in rioting to be attained before I can give my blessing. For example, you can’t just use any sort of gloomy, drastic imagery to accentuate your riot or protest and figure it will work. Take the protest staged by dozens of UC Davis student-athletes who marched in protest to oppose last month's elimination of their sports programs and carried a coffin draped in black cloth, wore black clothing with yellow arm bands, and handed out informational fliers to anyone who would accept one on their way in to a major athletic department fundraiser. As prominent alumni and guests filed in for the event, they were greeted by students carrying a coffin, symbolizing the "death" of their sports programs. "You know what, if nothing comes of (our protest), then nothing comes of it," said Darcy Ward of the women's rowing team. "But we are going to fight tooth and nail to get these sports reinstated." In addition to the women’s rowing team, the men's wrestling, swimming and diving teams were all notified that their programs will cease operating after the end of this school year. On the one hand, I love the fact that these student-athletes aren’t taking this decision lying down, enjoying the prospect of getting to keep their scholarships while not having the time commitment and stress of playing a sport and enjoying the extra free time. Big ups for speaking out and making your voice heard at a place where it could have an impact, but how’s about you reserve the dramatic, macabre imagery for something a little more serious than losing a sport. After all, you can always transfer to a new school without the penalty of having to sit out a year before playing again because of your program being cut by UC Davis, so it’s not all bad. Coffins are just over the top and while I otherwise salute your protest, I can’t give you all a passing evaluation on this because you just didn’t meet my lofty protest/riot standards……………

- What did you do this past weekend? If you’re like most people, you probably relaxed and had fun, maybe worked or perhaps did some traveling. Odds are you didn’t spend your weekend undergoing a behavioral evaluation - not unless you are Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. Of course, you probably haven’t been hit with civil suits for alleged sexual assaults twice within the past year, so it all adds up. As his teammates gathered for minicamp, Roethlisberger received a psychological and behavioral evaluation as part of the disciplinary program laid out for him by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Goodell ordered him to stay away from the Steelers' training facility until his evaluation was complete and Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin said he didn't know when Roethlisberger would return. "I have talked to him," Tomlin said. "I will continue to talk to him, and I don't have a crystal ball in regards to when he's going to be back in the facility. A lot of that has to do with the things he needs to do and of course the judgment of the commissioner." In his place, Byron Leftwich, Dennis Dixon and Charlie Batch held down the quarterback position in camp and that was fitting because those three will compete to be the starting quarterback in the 4-6 games that the team will be without alleged rapist Roethlisberger while he is suspended by the league. But how about the recent revelation that prior to Goodell’s verdict in this case, Roethlisberger’s attorney, David Cornwell, wrote to Goodell and a) pleaded with him to hand down a punishment other than a suspension and b) had the audacity to bring up the fact that neither of the alleged rapes his client is accused of resulted in criminal charges (and that one - the supposed rape in a Nevada resort hotel room - took place in a private setting). Just goes to show you that this guy and those representing him still didn’t get it and may in fact not get it even now. Here’s hoping that psych evaluation found some of what makes this guy so screwed up inside and now the process of fixing those breaks can begin in earnest………….

- At first glance, news that Steven Spielberg has chosen his next project: War Horse, the World War I story about a friendship between a boy and a horse, may not be all that exciting. Sure, Spielberg is a Hollywood legend and has churned out a lot of great movies, but it is a World War I story about a friendship between a boy and a horse, which doesn’t sound all that thrilling. However, in evaluating the excitement potneital for this news, I ask you to realize one thing: anything would an upgrade over last Indiana Jones film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Seriously, that steaming pile of monkey crap was bad enough to not only ruin the entire Indiana Jones franchise, but to taint every single movie Spielberg has ever made. Heck, even E.T. looks a little worse when viewed through the lens of Crystal Skull - it was that bad (Aliens? Really? Aliens?). In that light, War Horse looks a whole lot better already, no? It doesn’t even matter that the movie is based on a novel by Michael Morpurgo that was published back in 1982. Nor should you care that the adapted screenplay has been written by Lee Hall and Richard Curtis or that it will be produced by Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Revel Guest for Dreamworks and released by Disney Studios on August 10, 2011. The bottom line here is that there will be no overwrought fourth incarnation of an action hero doubling as an aging archaeologist, no ridiculous plot line involving aliens and magical crystal skulls and for that reason alone, War Horse will be a huge success. Sure, fans can be happy that after a two-year hiatus from the moviemaking business, one of the best directors of all-time is back in the director’s chair, but merely being anything other than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull makes it a home run in my book before a single frame is filmed or a single page of the script is written………….

-YouTube has long been the go-to source for all things free Internet video, but the site has recently branched out with its own movie rental service. The service is still in its infancy and the selection of films it offers remains small, but YouTube is showing that is has lofty ambitions for the endeavor. Of course, those ambitions could result in some unpleasant changes for many YouTube users, as the site will soon offer its users the ability to charge rental fees for their uploaded videos, according to YouTube executive Hunter Walk that the site. In truth, the push to help users find ways to monetize their videos should they become popular has been building steam for two years now. Just last year, the site launched the YouTube Partnership Program last year, which allows some users with popular videos (as determined by YouTube staff) to share advertising revenue with Google. That arrangement differs from the new self-service rental plan, which will be the first chance for YouTube users to make money off of their videos by charging viewers instead of depending on advertising. At this point, details on the program are all but impossible to find and no one is sure who will be allowed to take part. Some speculation has centered on the possibility that so-called “industry professionals” will be the only ones involved in the program, but the question then becomes how you determine what an industry professional is. In short, there are just too many questions about this new program to give a firm take on it, but it does merit watching as the process moves forward…………..