- Do the good people of Branford, Conn. not read their Bibles? Do they not know that the Son of God has to exert some righteous indignation from time to time? Clearly not because if they knew those things, they would not be kicking Jesus (or some kook who thinks he’s Jesus) off the bus just because he allegedly smashed one of the vehicle’s windows. The bus was driving down Route One in Branford when a passenger police incorrectly identified as Mark Esposito allegedly became loud and belligerent. Esposito, who may have been under the influence of one or more illegal drugs - or simply insane - took to pounding on the windows as horrified fellow passengers looked on. "All of a sudden I looked and I see this guy, he is just banging on the windows," said witness Donna Hackley. "I don't know what his problem was, but he was cursing." Other passengers told police Esposito claimed to be Jesus. After a few moments of mayhem, passengers convinced the driver to pull over and they attempted to force the messiah off the bus. Several male passengers teamed up against Yahweh and he reacted angrily, smashing a window with the same sort of rage he once displayed in turning over the tables of the money changers in the temple for cheating worshippers. Police praised the passengers for their actions and Esposito/Jesus was arrested and charged with breach of peace and second degree criminal mischief. Theories about what caused his angry reaction were offered by both witnesses and police, but the most common theory was that it could have been a particular color. "Somebody was wearing something purple and it caused him to go wild," Hackley postulated. I Am was processed and taken for a psychiatric evaluation. Of course, people treated Jesus like he was crazy back in biblical times, so why should anything change in the 21st century…………
- While it’s difficult to believe that it’s been 12 years since Heather Donahue annoyed the hell out of millions of people with her breathy, pathetic and irritating performance in “The Blair Witch Project,” but Donohue has completely dropped off the cinematic radar since then. No one has missed her or clamored for her return and that’s good because Donohue isn't coming back to acting. She’s found something she loves more than being a thespian: pot. No, she’s not a raging stoner, although it wouldn’t be surprising to learn that she enjoys the chron from time to time. No, Donohue is in the business of growing medical marijuana in Northern California. On her website, Donohue took a moment to lash out at the film industry and explain her decision to move to the middle of nowhere to cultivate weed. "I wanted to change my life, see what else was out there for me, what else I might become," she wrote. "So I burned most of the stuff from my life in LA (resumes, headshots, lingerie, lint) in the desert and moved to pretty little Nuggettown. I had no idea what to do next, and growing pot was what presented itself. I felt better about putting medical marijuana in the world than I did about making another terrible movie." Oddly enough, everyone else feels the same way, H. Her post was mainly to promote her new memoir, GrowGirl: How My Life After The Blair Witch Project Went to Pot, but no one is going to waste time reading the pathetic musings of a disillusioned, talent-deprived actress who now supplies stoners with their beloved hippie lettuce. Her moving to a community where cultivation is legal is far more interesting than anything Donohue might say in a book. Not surprisingly, she believes pot should be legal because it’s been "intertwined with human culture for thousands of years." In other words, she’s definitely a stoner and dabbles in her own product more often than she would admit. Keep it up and never think for one second about coming back to acting, Heather…………
- Look the hell out, France. Turkey is not happy with you after the lower house of your parliament passed a so-called genocide bill, which criminalizes the denial of the Armenian genocide in 1915. Turkey viewed the bill’s passage as a slap in its face and Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan on Thursday recalled the country's ambassador in Paris for consultations. Erdogan also announced sanctions against France and made it extremely clear where relations between the two nations stood. "From now on, we freeze all kinds of political consultations with France," Erdogan said at a joint press conference with Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovic in Ankara. All visits, military relations, courses and conferences are cancelled indefinitely and French military vessels and aircraft will not be allowed to use Turkish ports or airports until France reverses the law. Oh, and all military cooperation, including common military exercises, will be suspended for now. French aircraft will require special permission for every single flyover and Erdogan threatened even more repercussions if France does not change its mind. "This is the first stage," Erdogan vowed. All of this venom comes merely because the lower house of parliament passed the bill. Just imagine what may happen if the French Senate also approves the bill. What has Turkey so upset, you ask? If passed, the bill would make the denial of all genocides, crimes against humanity and war crimes that are recognized by French law, punishable by up to a year in prison and a fine of €45,000 ($58,600). That resonates in Turkey because Armenians claim 1.5 million of their ancestors were systematically killed during World War I in today's Eastern Turkey, which was then part of the Ottoman Empire. Like any good genocidal nation, Turkey denies the allegations and says those Armenians died in the war and from famine. "There is no such a genocide in history. – We are proud of our history," Erdogan said. He went on to accuse French President Nicolas Sarkozy of acting on misguided ideas of "islamophobia" and "racism" and suggested that said France had betrayed its own principles of the French Revolution. "I am asking you this: Is there freedom of thought in France? Is there freedom of expression? Let me answer: No," Erdogan proclaimed. Relations between the two countries were already frigid and France exacerbated the tensions by voicing opposition to Turkey's bid to join the European Union. France boasts a large Armenian community, which Turkey believes is being manipulated as a pawn for the country’s upcoming elections. Turkish ambassador to France Tahsin Burcuoglu will return to Ankara on Friday and the cold war will progress from there. Both Sarkozy and the opposition Socialist Party have backed the bill, which parliament members insist is not targeted at any specific nation. That hasn’t stopped Turkey from embracing its inner persecution complex and ratcheting the angry diplomatic rhetoric in to high gear. Stay classy, Turkey, stay classy………….
- Remember when the bird flu was poised to wreak havoc with public health and well-being to the point where people were stockpiling supplies and checking to see if the old World War II bomb shelter in their family’s back yard was still useable? The threat has yet to materialize, but the U.S. government is still working behind the scenes to study the issue in case the bird flu becomes a real hazard. And by “working behind the scenes,” take it to mean that the government is paying scientists millions of dollars to study the bird flu and how it may eventually become a bigger threat to Americans and then pressuring those scientists to keep their findings secret. On Tuesday, government officials literally asked scientists from two research labs that studied the bird flu not to publicize the results of their studies. In attempting to defend the indefensible, officials argued that making the research public could provide valuable data to possible bioterrorists looking for the perfect weapon to bring the United States to its knees. Scientists found that it was easier than previously believed for the H5N1 bird flu to evolve in a way that lets it spread easily between at least some mammals. Would this information be valuable to the public? Maybe, but those who are conspiring to keep the research secret are convinced it is the right decision. "It wasn't an easy decision," said Dr. Anthony Fauci, infectious diseases chief at the National Institutes of Health, which funded the original research. The research was conducted at the Erasmus University Medical Center in the Netherlands and the University of Wisconsin-Madison and the findings now locked in high-security labs. Never mind publishing studies so other scientists can expound on their findings and use them as a platform for additional learning, dammit. Government biosecurity advisors warned that that the journals Science and Nature should be allowed to publish only the general discoveries, not the full blueprint for these man-made strains of the virus. Both research teams have capitulated even though Science editor in chief Dr. Bruce Alberts said his journal pushed the U.S. government to set up a system where certain international researchers will be able to get the full genetic recipe for these lab-bred strains. Big Brother tramples rights once again…………
- Making the ultimate publicity grab/look-at-me moment play of all-time, exuding a nonstop air of pomposity and proclaiming his intention to win seven or more NBA titles in Miami despite not having won any yet made LeBron James the most hated player in the NBA last year. All it took for New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries to rip the title from James at the outset of a new season was being married to Kim Kardashian for a few hours (time frame approximate). In a survey conducted by Nielsen and E-Poll Market Research, Mr. Kardashian, er, um, Humphries was voted the most disliked player in the NBA. Humphries received a 50 percent dislike percentage, while James stayed fairly strong at 48 percent. In order to be considered for the poll, players had to have a minimum 10 percent awareness level from the public. Behind James on the list were some very predictable names Kobe Bryant, Tony Parker, Metta World Peace, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony, Paul Pierce, Dwyane Wade and Lamar Odom. Two of those eight are James’ teammates on the hated Miami Heat and Odom also married a Kardashian although unlike Humphries, he has managed to keep his wedded bliss going for more than eight hours (time once again approximate). Humphries recently signed a new one-year deal to return to the Nets and will make $8 million this season. He had something of a breakthrough season last year, averaging 10 points and ranking fifth in the league with 10.4 rebounds. Had he merely kept his head down, worked hard during the league’s lockout and gotten ready for the season, he wouldn’t have been anywhere close to the top of the most-disliked list. Instead, he dated Kardashian, the two got engaged when he gave her a $2 million ring and they had the biggest sham of a reality TV wedding possible. Divorce followed a day or so later and now Humphries is being booed relentlessly by crowds at exhibition games. "I don't know. I'm not too focused on it. I'm just here to win games," Humphries said of the treatment. Don’t marry any more Kardashian sisters and you can probably get off the list next season, K…………..
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