Saturday, November 19, 2011

Creative band ideas, Black Friday loserdom and BCS overhauling

- Bands are always (assuming they give a crap about their music and their career) looking for something to set themselves apart, to elevate their efforts above those of the ever-growing number of hacks on the scene who churn out quick, worthless albums that aren’t even fit to be used as a coaster for someone’s drink. Wisconsin-based indie/folk rockers Bon Iver released their self-titled album earlier this year and despite some critical praise, it hasn’t exactly set the indie world on fire. To stoke some interest in the project as a time when the attention for an album tends to wane - several months after its release - the band will release a deluxe edition of their second album ‘Bon Iver’ on Nov. 28 and look to spice things up by adding 10 short films to accompany each of the 10 tracks on the project. Described as “the comprehensive vision for the record captured in moving picture”, the films and videos have been created by Dan Huiting, Isaac Gale, David Jensen, JoLynn Garnes and Bon Iver frontman Justin Vernon. The short films have been under production for the past year and will be offered almost entirely in digital form through iTunes. A limited number of DVDs with all 10 videos will also be given away at independent records stores with the purchase of “Bon Iver.” It would help if the album were better and if a band with enough creative gifts and talent to craft a brilliant indie rock album hadn't turned to a ton of electronic and digital crutches and made an album that falls well below its usual standards, but interesting short films are a unique add-on for a project and should be interesting to watch……………


- The loser-dom has begun. Every year it has to start somewhere and this year, the Black Friday ass-hattedness got an unofficial kickoff in St. Petersburg, Fla., where a family of total tools has set up camp outside their favorite electronics store to be first among the teeming hoards when shopping begins the day after Thanksgiving. The pioneers of pathetic this year are Tito Hernandez and Christine Orta and their extended family. These knobs have set up camp outside a Best Buy store in St. Petersburg, erecting a large tent in a corner of the parking lot so they can be first in line for the Black Friday doorbusters. "We've got our master window here. We got our side view," quipped the man inside the tent are camping in front of the Tyrone Square Best Buy in St. Pete. "We got here on Monday, Monday night and we set up tent and our game plan is to stay here ‘til about Thursday, Thursday afternoon," Hernandez joked. Very funny, loser. So, what are the challenges of being a disgrace to all of humanity by proving that you have no dignity or self-respect and will put your life on hold for a week and sleep in a parking lot just to get a discounted price on a new iPod or flat screen? "Well it's not easy, it is hot," Hernandez whined. And what of Hernandez’s special lady friend? What does she have to say for herself? It's not the oddest thing I've done, but it's pretty crazy. It's different," Orta observed. Why is it not surprising that this is not the oddest thing she’s ever done? It is, however, the most pathetic. The store’s general manager, Jade Esparza, is predictably thrilled about the two ass hats camping outside her store and the attention it is bringing. "It's great. We think it's fantastic, and we welcome everyone to come out," Esparza stated. Hernandez and Orta are receiving assistance from equally contemptible family members who come occasionally to relieve them from their post. Their goal is to score a great deal on a new flat-screen TV. "I'm interested in the 42" and the 55", but mostly the 55" that's similar to the one right up here," Orta observed. Here’s hoping you’re trampled by some fellow shoppers and your lifeless body is using as a step-stool to reach a higher shelf and the discounted printer cartridges on it, loser…………


- The vast majority of college football fans have been clamoring for the Bowl Championship Series to be killed off almost since it was created. An amalgamation of human and computer polls supposedly designed to determine college football’s best teams, place them in the top bowls and pick two teams to play in the sport’s supposed championship game, the BCS has instead evolved into a political clusterf**k that screws over all but the favored few. The calls for change go ignored by those in power, who care only that they get paid and their schools get over. But could it be, could BCS change really be on the horizon? The answer is yes…….just not the change anyone is looking for. As BCS officials held meetings in San Francisco earlier this week, a change was proposed that would radically change the structure of the BCS and significantly alter the major bowl selection process. The idea, according to sources with direct knowledge of meetings, calls for the BCS to sever its direct ties with the so-called BCS bowls -- the Allstate Sugar Bowl, Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, Discover Orange Bowl and Rose Bowl Game presented by Vizio -- and concentrate solely on arranging a fraudulent No. 1 vs. No. 2 “national championship” matchup. That could then allow the BCS to pimp its title game out to new sites, such as Jerry Jones' palatial Cowboys Stadium. Additionally, the proposal also would eliminate automatic BCS bowl qualifying status currently given to the six major conferences and give them the freedom to make their own deals with the 34 other existing bowls, as well as affecting change relative to the system’s revenue sharing system. "There's a lot of stuff being thrown at the wall," said one official who attended the meetings. "I think the people in the room really want to get it right. They're tired of getting beat up. So you'll probably see us go slow on this one." If the proposal is adopted in its entirety, the BCS would be responsible only for creating a championship game between the two top teams in its rankings and the champions of the SEC, ACC, Big Ten, Pac-12, Big East and Big 12 conferences would no longer receive automatic entry into the bowls that currently make up the BCS rotation. Theoretically, that would allow all 11 FBS conferences and their members, as well as football independents, to begin each season with an equal chance of reaching the national championship game. It is, of course, total bullsh*t, but oh well. Left unanswered in the meetings was whether the BCS would continue using the existing BCS standings as the way to determine the No. 1 vs. No. 2 championship game matchup. Taken as a whole, the proposal is akin to a 1 percent improvement on a problem requiring a 100 percent solution and nowhere close to the comprehensive answer needed to solve all of the problems with the BCS, all of which stem from the bigger problem that it exists in the first place……………


- Pakistanis, be warned. You have a lot of words to un-learn, courtesy of the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA), which has deemed 586 Urdu words and 1,109 English words offensive or pornographic and will no longer allow those terms to be used in text messages. The PTA has instructed mobile phone companies to block text messages that contain them due to their inappropriate nature and has already been mercilessly mocked for this ridiculous attempt at censorship by nearly everyone who learns of the ban. Some of the prohibited words are expletives or sexual terms, while others are medical terms. Among the list’s entries are words such as "intercourse," "condom" and "breast," as well as seemingly ordinary words like "period," "hostage" and "flatulence." More bizarre listings include "monkey crotch," "wuutang" and "Jesus Christ." A letter dated Nov. 14 to Pakistani media and an unverified copy has been published online for all to see. Mobile phone companies have been directed to begin screening text messages by Nov. 21 in order - allegedly - to control spamming, which the agency defines as "the transmission of harmful, fraudulent, misleading, illegal or unsolicited messages in bulk to any person without express permission of the recipient." Pakistani mobile phone companies Telenor Pakistan and Ufone confirmed that they had received the memo and the "dictionary," as it has been termed. Oddly enough, a PTA spokesperson claimed the move was actually customer-inspired after a slew of complaints from customers who said they were receiving offensive text messages. "Nobody would like this happening to their young boy or girl," Mohammad Younis said. That clearly comes as news to the many Pakistanis who have reacted to the news of the banned list on Twitter by asking what many of the words and expressions mean………….


- Technology is a wonderful thing……until someone uses it to hack into your local public water system and has the chance to wreak all sorts of havoc. And if someone is hacking into sensitive government data and systems, the international hacker group Anonymous has to be involved, right? Maybe, maybe not. No one has yet claimed responsibility for a cyber strike launched from outside the United States that hit a public water system in Illinois. The attack could have been catastrophic had the hacker elected to go further than just proving he (or she) could hack the system. ''This is arguably the first case where we have had a hack of critical infrastructure from outside the United States that caused damage,'' a managing partner at Applied Control Solutions, Joseph Weiss, said. ''That is what is so big about this. They could have done anything because they had access to the master station.'' The Illinois Statewide Terrorism and Intelligence Centre disclosed the attack on a public water facility outside the city of Springfield last week, but the incident actually occurred months earlier, Weiss said. ''No one realized the hackers were in there until they started turning on and off the pump,'' he said. The breach was discovered after the hacker burned out a pump and the attack was reportedly traced to a computer in Russia. The hacker used passwords stolen during a hack of a company that makes supervisory control and data acquisition (SCADA) software, which is used around the world to control machines in industrial facilities. No one is certain who conducted the attack, but a hacker allegedly from Anonymous, going by the handle “pr0f,” has claimed that he hacked into a Houston-area water utility to show it can easily be done after officials downplayed the Illinois cyber attack. “pr0f” claimed he has hacked other SCADA systems, too and offered screenshots of what looked like diagrams of water and waste water treatment facilities in south Houston as evidence. He blamed the system vulnerabilities on a combination of poor configuration of services, bad password choice and no restrictions on who can access the interfaces. Hopefully these incidents will convince government agencies to take the steps necessary to shore up security for America’s water systems…………..

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