- Leave it to dorks to complain when they finally gain some mainstream acceptance. For years, these four-eyed freaks who ventured out of their basements for one weekend to travel to San Diego and congregate with their fellow nerds in a giant convention center filled with comic books had Comic-Con all to themselves and the outside world kept its distance. It became a pilgrimage for these dorks and made them feel mildly normal for a few days. However, the convention has grown in popularity as the years have gone by and as “outsiders” have found their way inside, the event has gone from a nerd fest to a place where comic-themed TV shows and movies come to push their new projects, those looking to let out their inner nerd for a weekend yet remain cool in the process flock and the truly nerdy are once again on the outside looking in. This year, there will be panels called "I Can't Write, I Can't Draw, But I Love Comics!" and "Indie Comics Marketing 101" taking place alongside "USA Network's 'Psych' " and "Aloha, Earth!" a panel about CBS' upcoming remake of "Hawaii Five-0." How any of this is true to the original spirit of the event, I have no idea. A glut of panels movie and TV properties with no sci-fi or comic book elements seems wrong to even me and I’ve never actually read a real comic book. These panels draw huge crowds, often squeezing out the very dorks who have been the lifeblood of the convention since its inception. Another part of this year’s event sure to rankle the faithful is the inclusion of Fox’s song-and-dance drama “Glee,” which has as little to do with comic books as anything on the agenda. Some comic book dorks are treating Comic-Con like the hipster fan of a rising indie rock band that suddenly hits the mainstream and becomes the flavor of the month: abandoning it and turning on what they once love because it’s no longer their secret little treasure that no one else knows about. Hearing these nerds whine about the invasion of their prized getaway is akin to rich, snobby people lamenting the revelation of their longtime vacation destination as a great place to visit that is suddenly swamped by everyone taking a summer vacation. Way to show that what you really, truly want is to be forever ostracized and mocked, dorks………
- Dammit, this is not going to help drive down the price of an eight ball of coke from my neighborhood dealer! I realize that a former front commander in Colombia's main leftist rebel group being sentenced to 27 years in prison for conspiring to import tons of cocaine into the United States might seem like something you want to celebrate, but don’t be so quick to blow up those balloons and toss the confetti. Sure, Gerardo Aguilar Ramirez was extradited to the United States in July 2009 on hostage-taking conspiracy charges and subsequently acknowledged that he was the commander of a FARC unit that manufactured and distributed "ton quantities of cocaine, knowing and intending that the cocaine would be imported in the United States," but let’s look a little closer. First, how trustworthy a source is the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York? But even if this attorney is telling the truth, at what cost does this conviction come? Here’s a guy who risked life and limb to deliver the drugs that a nation of junkies, addicts and degenerates want and we’re hauling him across borders and throwing him in jail? How is average Joe Crackhead supposed to afford his supply for his week if the price keeps going up because of the danger involved in being in the drug business? While you rush to battle the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, or FARC, these are the questions you need to ask yourself, U.S. State Department. Classifying FARC as a foreign terrorist organization is one thing, but trying to shut down their drug operations is something else entirely. Ramirez was sentenced in a District of Columbia federal court and could very well die in federal prison. He was brought down by an investigation conducted under the auspices of the Department of Justice's Organized Crime Drug Enforcement Task Force Program. He was also sold out by his own government, which provided unprecedented cooperation to the DOJ during the process. "The incarceration of narco-terrorists like Aguilar Ramirez helps to choke the international drug trade," said Manhattan U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara. "This office will continue to work with our partners at the (Drug Enforcement Administration) to incapacitate dangerous narco-terrorists who seek to pour drugs into the United States." Exactly. That right there is the problem and I’m the only one who seems to realize it. Aguilar Ramirez was the commander of the "FARC's 1st Front" and was ultimately responsible for all of that front's criminal activities, so having him in jail is going to put a major crimp in its drug operations. Guess I should stock up on blow now before the price inevitably surges based on this horrible development………
- Nice of you to finally get around to settling a giant fraud case that screwed over your customers, Dell. The maker of subpar computers running the world’s crappiest operating system (Microsoft Windows) has agreed to pay $100 million to settle fraud charge from the Securities and Exchange Commission, concluding a five-year old case that has been a thorn in the company’s side and hung like a back cloud over its chief executive, Michael Dell. According to the SEC, Dell did not disclose to its investors "large exclusivity payments" that chipmaking giant Intel made to Dell in exchange for Dell's agreement not use chips made by rival chipmaker AMD. Basically, Dell agreed not to have open competition for the chips it used, which theoretically would have resulted in lower prices. What’s amazing is that these payoffs were so large that they made up 76 percent of Dell's operating income in the first quarter of 2007, and double-digit percentages of its earnings in several other quarters. "It was these payments, rather than the company's management and operations, that allowed Dell to meet its earnings targets," the SEC said in a written statement. In its findings, the SEC stated that founder Michael Dell, along with several other high-ranking company executives, were complicit in the disclosure violations. To settle those charges, Michael Dell agreed to pay a $4 million settlement out of his own personal funds. Somehow, the company decided several months ago that in spite of being a prime target of the investigation and clearly having done a lot of unethical and repugnant things, Dell would be allowed to continue as CEO and chairman of the board. Right, because that sounds like just the sort of man I want running my company. The fact that this investigation dragged on for five years isn’t surprising because a) a government agency was involved and b) Dell was clearly looking to drag its feet as long as possible, but after Dell acknowledged accounting irregularities in a 2008 internal audit, you’d think the case would have wrapped up by, say, the end of 2009……….
- Any time that anyone, anywhere in the world wants to sue that d-bag Simon Cowell, they have my full support. I don’t care what the lawsuit is for or whether it has any actual merit; just sue the jackass responsible for creating the abortion that is American Karaoke and numerous other reality singing shows, perpetrating one of the worst crimes ever committed on the music industry. The particular suit I’m referring to here is a £2.5 million ($3.8 million) suit by a former contestant on the U.K. version of his "Got Talent" show. Cowell and his show are being sued by contestant Emma Amelia Pearl Czikai, who appeared in an edition of "Britain's Got Talent" broadcast by ITV1 in May 2009. Her claim, ironically enough, is that she was humiliated and degraded on the show. Hilarious, right? Isnt that what people sign up for when they agree to bastardize their musical integrity, er, um, appear on one of Cowell’s shows? Czikai must not have known that because she filed her complaint of unfairness and discrimination with the employment tribunal in January. The case became public following a pre-trial review at the central London tribunal court Wednesday. Perhaps seeking further humiliation and degradation, Czikai represented herself before the panel and accused the show and its judges of "exploitation, humiliation, degradation and barbarism." Barbarism is a new one, but she wasn’t done. Czikai also claimed the show was guilty of disability discrimination because it did not make adjustments for her, such as lowering the level of backing music and microphone levels. Umm, I’m not sure failing to compensate for your total lack of musical skill is discrimination, but whatever. This chick is basically rattling off a list of 9/10 of what is wrong with Cowell’s shows and all she’s missing is the murder good music by glorified karaoke singers and the affront of picking a recording artist on a reality show. "This program makes a select number of rich people very, very rich on the backs of the ordinary man and woman in the street through exploitation, humiliation, degradation and a re-emergence of modern-day barbarism with all its inherent cruelty," Czikai said. And that inherent cruelty extends to anyone who has ever seen, heard or been subjected to a conversation about any of Cowell’s shows. So while this may not reach my goal of suing Cowell and anyone ever associated with American Karaoke in even the most tangential of ways, it’s a nice step forward. Perhaps a woman suffering from cervical spine neuritis, which can cause head and shoulder pain, can engender some sympathy and score a big win here………
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