Diplo v. Taylor Swift, Greece needs a Xerox machine and Brett Bielema keeps lying to himself

- How are there still public figures who don’t realize that at this point, there is nowhere they can go in either the physical or digital world where their words won't be heard and if they’re newsworthy, repeated over and over? The list of public figures who have tweeted the wrong thing or let rip with an offensive remark that ended up going viral is too long to list here, but add former head of Homeland Security and current University of California president Janet Napolitano to it after a contentious California University Board of Regents meeting where protesters voiced their concerns about budgetary issues in the 10-campus system. Napolitano, who by now should be used to the public directing verbal bile her way, was instead badly rattled by the protesters' chants and rather than shake them off and keep going, she turned to a regent member to her left, and said, "Let’s go. We don't have to listen to this crap." Yes, this woman said the C-word. Look at J-Naps, getting all salty with it. Big ups for holding back and not saying sh*t, but a microphone caught the comment she apparently thought was private and even though her words were something even a third grader would not consider profanity, she issued an apology just in case. "I'm sorry for using a word I don't usually use," she said at the beginning of a meeting the next day, asking those offended by the word choice for "empathy and understanding." Again, who was offended by that? More offensive is the fact that a woman entrusted to run a major university was so seriously unsettled by chants from a group of about 30 students and at one time, a student partially disrobing. Apologize for your lack of poise and get better at handling the hate, J…………

- Take a cue from “Frozen” and let it go, Arkansas Razorbacks coach Bret Bielema. No one’s buying your bogus pitch that college football needs to outlaw the turbo-charged fast-paced, no-huddle offense that coincidentally has kicked your teams’ asses over the past few years. Bielema, who favors a ground-out-out, throwback approach to football based on massive offensive linemen and running the ball 110 percent of the time, has been one of the loudest voices among the disingenuous ass hats in the coaching fraternity who can’t keep up with that newfangled spread nonsense and claim that it’s somehow hazardous to players’ health. For more than a year, this anachronistic thinker has feebly argued in favor of rules to restrict the speed with which offenses can operate, demanding that there be a rule to prevent teams from snapping the ball until at least 10 seconds ran off the 40-second play clock. In one of the cheapest ploys and biggest reaches ever, Bielema even referenced the death of Cal football player Ted Agu, who died following a training session. Amazingly, the self-serving views of a few stuck-in-the-past coaches weren’t a winning case and the rule was ultimately tabled. Even after that defeat, Bielema refuses to concede his fight to change the rules regarding the pace of play in college football and he’s throwing blind haymakers in the general direction of the hurry-up, no-huddle offense. "We have to protect student-athletes to extremes we never thought of before,” Bielema said in addressing the sudden retirement of San Francisco 49ers linebacker Chris Borland, a former player of his at Wisconsin left the NFL at 24 years old because of concerns over the effects of head trauma. That was the perfect opening for Bielema to cite a study he may have made up which allegedly showed that "players in the no-huddle, hurry-up offense play the equivalent of five more games than those that don't. Adapt or perish, Brett, is still the universal imperative……….

- Does Greece know it’s 2015 and scanners, copiers and digital imaging technology have all been invented? Yes, the Mediterranean nation is built largely on its amazing, world-shaping past that saw it give berth to things like the Olympic Games, modern democracy and Milwaukee Bucks forward Giannis Antetokounmpo, but not everything in Greece needs to be rooted so deeply in the past. For example, it is OK for government officials to make digital or physical copies of important documents so there are enough of them to go around in the even someone needs to take a second look at, say, the country's original bailout agreement with the European Union. Had someone realized the magic of Xerox or Hewlett Packard is real and not the next chapter in Greek mythology, Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis would not have been forced to stand in front of his country’s parliament and explain why he felt "almost infinite anger" when told that a copy of the agreement was not available when he took over nearly two months ago. According to Yanni V., a copy of was missing from the ministry and it took three and a half days to track one down because of a rather bizarre tradition in Greece of ministers taking key documents with them when they leave office. Exactly who the hell started that tradition and how corrupt was that person in order to need to take all documentation of their crimes and corruption with them so there was no proof tying them to their crimes? Varoufakis promised to change the rules to stop the practice, but his comments came right before the Greek prime minister was to hold emergency talks in Brussels with lead lenders over the country's troubled bailout negotiations and didn’t exactly paint the country in a favorable light………

- It hasn’t been a great 2015 for glow stick-wearing, tweaker/techno disc jockey Diplo. First, he and fellow electro-crap-spinner Skrillex were shut down by police in California while attempting to put on a marathon, 24-hour DJing set. Now, he’s dealing with the unmitigated wrath of teenage girls and young women around the world on account of him daring to make a less-than-flattering remark about their icon, former country singer and current pop tart Taylor Swift. Diplo stepped on the wrong side of Swift’s legions of shrieking, angsty female fans when he tweeted that "someone should make a kickstarter campaign to get Taylor Swift a booty. It was not as offensive as Kanye West’s treatment of Swift, but it was enough to spark social media outrage from Swift's fans and even fellow pop star Lorde, who replied by tweeting, "Should we do something about your tiny penis while we're at it hm." Having endured the avalanche of 140-character hate that came his way, Diplo is now waving the white flag and slowly backing away from the scene like a child who just broke his mother’s favorite vase and is shrinking away in the hopes that maybe it will all just go away. “It's like an army that's worse than North Korea... All I know is don't ever get into a feud with Taylor Swift [again]. She has like 50 million people that will die for her,” Diplo said. The man whose name sounds like a cheap ripoff of a popular brand of children’s toy building blocks is somewhat correct, even if a reality show to see if Swift’s fans would actually die for her would be a cool, watchable twist on the whole Hunger Games phenomenon. "You can't step into that arena. That was something I was never prepared for ... one of the biggest mistakes of my career was definitely f*cking with her,” Diplo added. Fortunately, these two met up at the 2015 Grammy Awards and appeared to patch things up, even posting an Instagram photo together……..

Baltimore Ravens + police blotter, African leaders v. term limits and a Sam Cooke biopic

- How was your St. Patrick’s Day? Even if you got drunk on cheap, disgusting green beer and barfed on a stranger’s shoes on your way home from the bar following an epic session of day drinking, it was definitely better than the day 18-year-old Scott Benge of South Bend, Indiana had. Benge was trying to do a good deed on the holiday by transporting a freshly purchased keg from the local Brew Thru to an unidentified location when sh*t went sour. Indiana State Excise Police say the newly purchased keg fell from the bed of Benge’s pickup truck when the tailgate gave way. Failing to test the strength of your tailgate or properly secure your new keg with a few bungee cords is inexcusable, even for a guy who is three years shy of legal drinking age, but Benge didn’t actually consume any of the beer inside, so he should be in the clear, right? Sadly, no. Police retrieved the keg from the road and cited Benge for illegally transporting an alcoholic beverage because Indiana law bars those under 21 from transporting alcoholic beverages unless they are with their parents or legal guardian. Had Benge merely brought mom or dad along for the ride, he could have avoided all of this trouble instead of becoming one of 24 people ticketed during St. Patrick's Day patrols in South Bend. Sadly, he had to wait to get his buzz on until the law was done ruining what should have been a memorable celebration that he wouldn’t remember because he downed a half-dozen red solo cups worth of Keystone Light……….

- Biopics of famous recording artists are nothing new, but using one as a means to investigate how an artist really died is something of a new twist on the concept. Such will be the purpose of an authorized biopic of iconic soul singer Sam Cooke that is now chugging toward production. Two members of the late singer's family, L.C. Cooke and Eugene Jamison, will serve as consultants on the film, with screenwriter Mary Krell-Oishi penning the words for music and film producer Romeo Antonio, who is building the project along with Cooke’s family. He has somehow gotten the family to grant him access to their personal documents and records and was also able to interview the singer's former assistant, Zelda Samuels. With all of that source material and the assistance of Cooke biographer B.G. Rhule – lots of people being identified by their initials here – Antonio should have plenty from which to work in crafting a convincing portrait of Cooke, who scored 30 Top 40 hits in the United States between 1957 and 1964, including “A Change is Gonna Come” and “Wonderful World.” He was also very active in the civil rights movement and the latter might have something to do with why he was shot dead on December 11, 1964 at the Hacienda Motel in Los Angeles by the establishment's manager, Bertha Franklin. An inquest later ruled that Cooke's death was a "justifiable homicide," but his family rejected that decision. Now, they’re teaming up with Antonio to explore what really happened. "For years, people have been coming at us to do a movie about Sam. But he was the first person who sounded like he wanted what we wanted: the truth to come out about my uncle and his death,” Cooke’s nephew Eugene Jamison said of Antonio, who has pledged to treat the film like an actual murder investigation…….

- It’s a valid try, Senegalese President Macky Sall. Sall wants to be a pioneer in the field of African leaders leaving power in a responsible and fair amount of time and with most of the continent toiling under the weight of über-dictators who refuse to cede control even when their respective constitutions say that they must, his stance is a valiant one. Not only does this visionary of governance want to leave office on time, but he actually wants to shorten his term in office to "set an example" for other African countries. Flying in the face of the example set by other African leaders who have pushed to eliminate term limits or blown right through them like a runaway freight train barreling through a roadblock made of toothpicks is a dangerous move. Maybe Sall doesn’t want to end up like Burkina Faso's president, Blaise Campaore, who was forced from power last year when he tried to change the constitution to extend his 27-year rule. According to Sall, he will hold a referendum next year on whether to shorten the presidential term from seven to five years. Should it pass, he plans to apply the new limit to his current term. A politician voluntarily leaving office before his time and without a scandal about to drop on his head and crush him and all he stands for may have never happened before, so this may be history. The seven-year term was set under the previous president, Abdoulaye Wade, who blatantly ignored a two-term limit to run against Sall in 2012 but lost. There’s nothing to stop his successor from changing the laws right back, of course, but it’s the thought that counts……… 

- The Baltimore Ravens are learning. They seem to employ an inordinate amount of criminals, but they’re learning. They (allegedly) played an inept and irresponsible role in ignoring/covering up the Ray Rice domestic abuse scandal in tandem with the NFL, but they eventually got around to firing Rice once it became clear they could ignore the problem no longer. They seem to have taken that lesson with them moving forward and showed as much by cutting Rice’s former position mate, running back Bernard Pierce, mere hours after the backup ball carrier was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol. Pierce’s arrest gives the Ravens three police blotter appearances this offseason and to their credit, the Ravens have now cut all three within a day of learning of their off-field incidents. This could be a mere coincidence, but Darren Sanders, the team's director of security, has a May 12 trial date on assault and sex offense charges. It’s hard to tell you players to avoid trouble when your security director is accused of an extremely heinous crime. Pierce provided the always-amusing variation on “Do you know who the hell I am?” when he asked the arresting officer while en route to the precinct following his arrest: "Do you know what happened the last time a Ravens player got a DUI? I'm getting cut tomorrow, not like you care." He slyly inquired as to whether "the incident could be kept off the books." He may or may not remember that because according to police, he passed out sitting on a metal bench during the booking process, and when the arresting officer woke him up to ask how much he weighed, he replied in slurred speech, "530." As you might suspect, Pierce does not in fact weight 530 pounds. To his credit, he was a mere 300 pounds off and got two of the three numbers correct, as he weighs 230 pounds. He copped to drinking  "three shots of Jack" when asked by the officer conducting the traffic stop if he had consumed any alcoholic drinks after failing a field sobriety test and being pulled over near the Baltimore beltway just before 2 a.m. He was charged with driving while under the influence of alcohol, driving while impaired by alcohol, exceeding maximum speed (55 mph in a posted 30 mph zone) and driving a vehicle in excess of reasonable and prudent speed on a highway. Now that Pierce has done his part, the Ravens only need two more arrests to match their solid total of five from last offseason……….

50 Cent + One Direction, more Penn State sex scandals and IKEA v. fun

- Grow a sense of humor, IKEA. The Swedish home furnishings titan isn't typically known as a super-fun place to hang out – unless your idea of a good time is unnecessarily-complicated-to-assemble furniture – but all of that was changing thanks to a phenomenon originating in the Netherlands and radiating outward into Scandinavia. The buzz is simply over giant games of hide and seek organized inside IKEA outlets by social media users. It’s grown so much in its original home base that an incredible 19,000 people signed up for a Facebook group promoting a game at the largest IKEA store in Amsterdam. Sadly, IKEA can't just roll with its chance to be cool and instead, it is putting the kibosh on events like the one in Amsterdam and another that drew 13,000 respondents for a similar game at an IKEA store in the city of Utrecht. So take it away, IKEA squares and your damned wet blanket tendencies. "We have contacted these pages on social media and humbly asked them to have their hide and seek games somewhere else," Ikea spokeswoman Martina Smedberg said. "In general we are happy that our customers are playful and want to have fun together with friends and family. "But unfortunately this hide and seek phenomenon has reached proportions where we can no longer guarantee the security of those who are playing or our customers and employees." Security? It’s hide and seek, not Russian roulette. Amp down a notch, IKEA. Hell, this all started in Holland and it’s easy and legal to get decent dank there, so grab some rolling paper and a few ounces of the good stuff and smoke it out to calm yourself down. Either that or go hang with all of the schools that have outlawed dodgeball because it’s too dangerous for the fat, slow kids who can't defend themselves………

- Would less players on the ice produce more interest in hockey? The NHL may be willing to give the idea a try by introducing  3-on-3 play during overtime as well as the availability of a coach's challenge as early as next season. Both potential changes gained support during this week's general managers meetings and oft-inept commissioner Gary Bettman confirmed both changes have the potential to be implemented for the start of the 2015-16 season if they are approved by the league’s competition committee. The league plans to present two different formats for the overtime change, one of which would feature  4-on-4 for the first three minutes and then -- following the first whistle thereafter -- go to 3-on-3 for the remainder of the seven-minute period. Under the second option, teams would play 3-on-3 for an entire five-minute period. "That's something we're going to discuss with the competition committee because, obviously, we want the players' association input on how we're going to approach it," Bettman said. "So we're going to look at both variables and figure out which one, collectively with the competition committee, we think makes the most sense.” Playing 3-on-3 would obviously mean more open space and freedom of movement on the ice, but would also put a huge emphasis on conditioning as well. Both proposals have the end goal of reducing the number of games decided by the shootout. Detroit Red Wings general manager Ken Holland spearheaded the push for change in the overtime rules and said he supports either potential change. "I'm good with both," Holland said. "I think in both cases, what we're trying to accomplish is take where 40 percent of our games are decided in overtime and 60 percent in shootouts -- ideally we'd like to switch those numbers.” The (over)times, they are a-changin’…………

- Penn State. Sex-related scandals. We’ve been here before, right? Except this time, no pervy, child-molesting football coaches are involved and instead, it’s a bunch of cheap-beer-chugging frat bros creating trouble for a school that could probably use a break from scandals for a decade or two. Enter the dudes of Kappa Delta Rho, whose fraternity has been suspended for a year after a police investigation into its members using a private, invitation-only Facebook page to post photos of nude and partly nude women, some apparently asleep or passed out. It’s not the first time a fraternity has done something similarly scumbaggish, but when that evidence is posted online for the world to find, there will be repercussions. The page came to light when a former member of the fraternity tipped police off to the page, telling them that members used the page to share photos of "unsuspecting victims, drug sales and hazing," according to a copy of a police warrant. Kappa Delta Rho national executive director Joe Rosenberg informed the Penn State chapter in a letter that it would be banned from most activities for the near future and must reorganize due to “r the most serious misconduct, most serious disregard of fraternity rules." University officials moved quickly to denounced the fraternity’s actions and said the school would find those responsible for the page and dole out the appropriate justice. According to police, anyone who posted photos on the page could face misdemeanor charges of harassment or invasion of privacy. The snitch was able to provide information on two victims whose cases “would rise to the level of criminal action," State College police Lt. Keith Robb said. As would be expected in this sort of case, some of the photos involved nude women in "sexual or embarrassing positions," the warrant states. Making matters worse, this is actually the second incarnation of the page because the first one was shuttered when a woman visiting the frat house saw the page on her male friend’s computer and noted a topless photo of her had been uploaded. A second page dubbed "2.0" was started about a year ago, proving that it’s difficult to kill d-baggery whether it’s physical, digital or both……..

- 50 Cent has undergone some dramatic changes and transformations over the course of his career. He’s lost extreme amounts of weight for movie roles, gone from dude who was famous for getting shot nine times but surviving to a guy who is as much of a pop culture brand and he is a rapper and now, he’s on the verge of becoming the hack musical sellout who actually hitches his hip-hop wagon to a wannabe rapper/man-bander who has as much street cred as a bottle of Flintstones vitamins. Sadly, the man born Curtis Jackson has offered to sign One Direction man-bander Zayn Malik to his record label if Malik follows through with his threats, er, interest in pursuing a rap career. Apparently Malik has considered rapping on his man band's tracks in the past and Jackson is of the completely erroneous opinion that with the right support, the pop-and-locker could become a legit hip-hop act. "If Zayn wants a rap career, just because of who he is, he is going to sell records," Jackson said. "But if he wants to be credible he has to be with the right people. I'd happily sign him up to my label, mentor him and have him working with the biggest rappers on the planet." This idea fits squarely in with One Direction manager/too-tight-t-shirt-wearer/man-who-murdered-music-with-lame-ass-reality-karaoke-shows Simon Cowell’s belief that all five One Direction hacks should pursue their own solo careers while staying with the group. “We've said to the boys 'All of you should do other things'," Cowell said. "'If you want to work with me, do some stuff on your own.' They should be allowed to do whatever they want." Sure, as long as whatever they want involves them staying far, far away from studios, microphones, cameras and stages……….

- Grow a sense of humor, IKEA. The Swedish home furnishings titan isn't typically known as a super-fun place to hang out – unless your idea of a good time is unnecessarily-complicated-to-assemble furniture – but all of that was changing thanks to a phenomenon originating in the Netherlands and radiating outward into Scandinavia. The buzz is simply over giant games of hide and seek organized inside IKEA outlets by social media users. It’s grown so much in its original home base that an incredible 19,000 people signed up for a Facebook group promoting a game at the largest IKEA store in Amsterdam. Sadly, IKEA can't just roll with its chance to be cool and instead, it is putting the kibosh on events like the one in Amsterdam and another that drew 13,000 respondents for a similar game at an IKEA store in the city of Utrecht. So take it away, IKEA squares and your damned wet blanket tendencies. "We have contacted these pages on social media and humbly asked them to have their hide and seek games somewhere else," Ikea spokeswoman Martina Smedberg said. "In general we are happy that our customers are playful and want to have fun together with friends and family. "But unfortunately this hide and seek phenomenon has reached proportions where we can no longer guarantee the security of those who are playing or our customers and employees." Security? It’s hide and seek, not Russian roulette. Amp down a notch, IKEA. Hell, this all started in Holland and it’s easy and legal to get decent dank there, so grab some rolling paper and a few ounces of the good stuff and smoke it out to calm yourself down. Either that or go hang with all of the schools that have outlawed dodgeball because it’s too dangerous for the fat, slow kids who can't defend themselves………

- Would less players on the ice produce more interest in hockey? The NHL may be willing to give the idea a try by introducing  3-on-3 play during overtime as well as the availability of a coach's challenge as early as next season. Both potential changes gained support during this week's general managers meetings and oft-inept commissioner Gary Bettman confirmed both changes have the potential to be implemented for the start of the 2015-16 season if they are approved by the league’s competition committee. The league plans to present two different formats for the overtime change, one of which would feature  4-on-4 for the first three minutes and then -- following the first whistle thereafter -- go to 3-on-3 for the remainder of the seven-minute period. Under the second option, teams would play 3-on-3 for an entire five-minute period. "That's something we're going to discuss with the competition committee because, obviously, we want the players' association input on how we're going to approach it," Bettman said. "So we're going to look at both variables and figure out which one, collectively with the competition committee, we think makes the most sense.” Playing 3-on-3 would obviously mean more open space and freedom of movement on the ice, but would also put a huge emphasis on conditioning as well. Both proposals have the end goal of reducing the number of games decided by the shootout. Detroit Red Wings general manager Ken Holland spearheaded the push for change in the overtime rules and said he supports either potential change. "I'm good with both," Holland said. "I think in both cases, what we're trying to accomplish is take where 40 percent of our games are decided in overtime and 60 percent in shootouts -- ideally we'd like to switch those numbers.” The (over)times, they are a-changin’…………

- Penn State. Sex-related scandals. We’ve been here before, right? Except this time, no pervy, child-molesting football coaches are involved and instead, it’s a bunch of cheap-beer-chugging frat bros creating trouble for a school that could probably use a break from scandals for a decade or two. Enter the dudes of Kappa Delta Rho, whose fraternity has been suspended for a year after a police investigation into its members using a private, invitation-only Facebook page to post photos of nude and partly nude women, some apparently asleep or passed out. It’s not the first time a fraternity has done something similarly scumbaggish, but when that evidence is posted online for the world to find, there will be repercussions. The page came to light when a former member of the fraternity tipped police off to the page, telling them that members used the page to share photos of "unsuspecting victims, drug sales and hazing," according to a copy of a police warrant. Kappa Delta Rho national executive director Joe Rosenberg informed the Penn State chapter in a letter that it would be banned from most activities for the near future and must reorganize due to “r the most serious misconduct, most serious disregard of fraternity rules." University officials moved quickly to denounced the fraternity’s actions and said the school would find those responsible for the page and dole out the appropriate justice. According to police, anyone who posted photos on the page could face misdemeanor charges of harassment or invasion of privacy. The snitch was able to provide information on two victims whose cases “would rise to the level of criminal action," State College police Lt. Keith Robb said. As would be expected in this sort of case, some of the photos involved nude women in "sexual or embarrassing positions," the warrant states. Making matters worse, this is actually the second incarnation of the page because the first one was shuttered when a woman visiting the frat house saw the page on her male friend’s computer and noted a topless photo of her had been uploaded. A second page dubbed "2.0" was started about a year ago, proving that it’s difficult to kill d-baggery whether it’s physical, digital or both……..

- 50 Cent has undergone some dramatic changes and transformations over the course of his career. He’s lost extreme amounts of weight for movie roles, gone from dude who was famous for getting shot nine times but surviving to a guy who is as much of a pop culture brand and he is a rapper and now, he’s on the verge of becoming the hack musical sellout who actually hitches his hip-hop wagon to a wannabe rapper/man-bander who has as much street cred as a bottle of Flintstones vitamins. Sadly, the man born Curtis Jackson has offered to sign One Direction man-bander Zayn Malik to his record label if Malik follows through with his threats, er, interest in pursuing a rap career. Apparently Malik has considered rapping on his man band's tracks in the past and Jackson is of the completely erroneous opinion that with the right support, the pop-and-locker could become a legit hip-hop act. "If Zayn wants a rap career, just because of who he is, he is going to sell records," Jackson said. "But if he wants to be credible he has to be with the right people. I'd happily sign him up to my label, mentor him and have him working with the biggest rappers on the planet." This idea fits squarely in with One Direction manager/too-tight-t-shirt-wearer/man-who-murdered-music-with-lame-ass-reality-karaoke-shows Simon Cowell’s belief that all five One Direction hacks should pursue their own solo careers while staying with the group. “We've said to the boys 'All of you should do other things'," Cowell said. "'If you want to work with me, do some stuff on your own.' They should be allowed to do whatever they want." Sure, as long as whatever they want involves them staying far, far away from studios, microphones, cameras and stages……….

 

Bringing Philly's Ghost back to life, reality karaokes judges attack and signs of college football in the spring

- Is it spring time already? It must be if Division I college football players are getting rides downtown in the back of a squad car for various criminal offenses. Enter Arizona State linebacker Davon Durant, who has been suspended indefinitely after he was arrested on charges of smacking around his lady inside his SUV. The highly regarded junior college transfer has been accused of aggravated assault and domestic violence, the school confirmed Monday, putting the No. 1-ranked junior college outside linebacker in the Class of 2015 out of action for the foreseeable future. This all went down March 7 after police were called by "a witness who reported observing a male hit a female while each were seated in a black Chevrolet SUV," according to the arrest report from the Tempe Police Department. Durant’s girlfriend was identified as the victim and she told police Durant hit her once in the face and grabbed her around the neck, impairing her ability to breathe. She sustained visible injuries, including a "small contusion and red mark beneath her left eye, and several abrasions and bruising around her neck consistent with finger marks from being grabbed around the neck," but refused medical treatment. The police report lays out a scene in which Durant allegedly had an argument with his lady inside the vehicle because he wanted to go back to her apartment to retrieve items he left there. When his girlfriend refused, things went sour and as always, at least there was a good reason for a dude doing the indefensible and putting his hands on a woman. Arizona State officials moved quickly to suspend Durant once they found out about the incident, but he remains enrolled at Arizona State and is expected to continue attending classes while the legal process plays out. Given the current culture of domestic violence in the football world, this one isn't going to end well for anyone involved………

- Say it ain’t so, France. You’re known for being at the forefront of style and in the fashion world, thin is always in. Why then is France’s government supporting a bill banning excessively thin fashion models as well as potentially fining the modeling agency or fashion house that hires them and sending the agents to jail? All of this seems extreme merely for having rail-thin ladies clad in absurd, unrealistic and unrealistically expensive outfits the average person can neither afford nor would wear strut down the runway with a pouty expression on their faces. Yet there was Health Minister Marisol Touraine, saying that France and its fashion and luxury industries worth tens of billions of euros would join Italy, Spain and Israel in adopting laws against too-thin models on catwalks or in advertising campaigns. Those countries put their measures in place two years ago, but France has lagged behind until now. "It's important for fashion models to say that they need to eat well and take care of their health, especially for young women who look to the models as an aesthetic ideal," Touraine said. Coincidentally, France has some major health legislation coming up for debate in parliament and Touraine said the Socialist government was likely to back not one, but two amendments relating to models' weight. If passed, they would implement regular weight checks for models and fines of up to $79,000 for any violations, with a possible six months in jail for staff involved. Socialist lawmaker Olivier Veran, who doesn’t seem to appreciate the beauty of not being overweight, wrote the legislation and wants to force models to present a medical certificate showing a Body Mass Index (BMI) of at least 18, about 121 pounds for a height of about 5-foot-8. Yes, Veran is a doctor and might know something about health, but maybe he was spurned by a smoking hot model or two in his life……….

- Yes, reality karaoke shows still suck no matter where in the world they’re based. Thanks to someone called British pop star Natalia Kills and her husband, Willy Moon, for reminding us all that it’s not just the aspiring reality karaoke-ers who are abysmal on these musical-whore-yourself-out-houses. These two wedded misfits were judges on the New Zealand version of “The X Factor,” with the key word in that sentence being “were.” They are arbiters of the aspiring hack masses no more, having been fired following verbal abuse of a contestant that bordered on bullying and spread like wildfire across social media. Kills and Moon were removed from the show by Mediaworks, the owners of broadcaster TV3, over the weekend when they tag-teamed contestant Joe Irvine following his performance. Kills led off by ripping Irvine for allegedly copying her pop hack husband’s style and it went downhill quickly from there. "You're a laughingstock. It's cheesy, it's disgusting. I personally found it absolutely artistically atrocious,” Kills deadpanned. “I am embarrassed to be sitting here in your presence having to even dignify you with an answer of my opinion... You make me sick." Harsh words from a talent-deprived hack scraping the bottom of the musical barrel as a reality karaoke judge, but sadly Kills was the kinder of the two in this exchange. Moon, who is originally from New Zealand and married Kills in 2014, went full-on “Psycho” on poor Irvine and showed no mercy. “It's like Norman Bates dressing up in his mother's clothing. It's just a little bit creepy," Moon barked. “I feel like you're going to stitch someone's skin to your face and then kill everyone in the audience." Double ouch, W. Moon. What’s ironic is that if more reality karaoke contestants were treated harshly, maybe this whole television genre could have ended much sooner and the world wouldn’t have been subjected to more than a decade of these spotlight-craving ass hats. TV3 heard the heat being hurled at Moon and Kills and deciding that there was such a thing as bad publicity, the network decided to fire both judges and bring in someone capable of at least feigning kindness to the miserable……….

- What does it cost to bring the Ghost back to life? In Philadelphia, the price tag could be as steep as $26 million. That’s the amount it’s estimated to take to reopen a closed train stop commonly referred to as Ghost Station, according to the fine folks at the Delaware River Port Authority. The agency is about to get a nice, thick report examining the feasibility of reopening the Port Authority Transit Corporation's Franklin Square Station in the Old City section of Philadelphia and here’s hoping these people aren't susceptible to the seriousness of sticker shock. An eight-figure estimate is a virtual guarantee that you’re going to end up spending twice that much by the time the project is done and for a state that isn't exactly flush with cash, that could be a problem. The Delaware River Port Authority oversees the PATCO, the commuter rail that shuffles passengers between southern New Jersey and downtown Philadelphia, and while it does a fine job in general, this could be a bit over its head. The station was abandoned back in 1979 and as with most properties that are neglected for three and a half decades, it has crept gradually into a state of disrepair, with poor lighting and a decidedly spooky, get-jumped-and-mugged-in-an-HBO-drama feel to it. According to the report, it would cost $18.5 million to resurrect it and another $8 million to install escalators and reopen additional entrances. Yet for that low, low price, the station could serve a whopping 1,3000 passengers a day. Oh, and there’s also the report’s note that most of those people already use another station in downtown Philadelphia. But hey, it’s not like commuters are creatures of habit who hate giving up the familiar for something new and unproven……….

Trent Richardson's FAT fight, movie news and Maldives drama

- If it’s been said once, it hasn’t been said nearly enough. A convicted cop killer who has learned to play a member of the woodwind family of instruments is clearly a man or woman who has become a new person and shown their journey of redemption to be complete. That person is clearly ready to re-enter society….according to that convicted murderer and his or her attorneys, of course. It’s a legal defense that isn't used nearly often enough, but former Black Panthers member Herman Bell is putting it to use as he seeks parole after serving 42 years in prison for murdering two police officers on patrol in New York City in 1971. Bell isn't denying his guilt, but he is rejecting the parole board’s repeated refusal to set him free. The story of how Bell ambushed NYPD officers Joseph Piagentini and Waverly Jones as they were on foot patrol in Harlem is well-known and so is his long-running quest for a return to society. At the center of his claim is that he has….wait for it….learned to play the flute while behind bars. “Mr. Bell presented the Board with an extraordinary record of achievements while incarcerated, a positive psychological evaluation, a strong release plan, and numerous letters of support from all walks of society,” his legal team wrote in its court filing.  “On his own initiative, Mr. Bell has studied music theory and learned to play the flute.” Great, now he has something to do to entertain himself behind bars for the rest of his life, along with being thankful that he didn’t receive the death penalty, which some cop killers do. Many, including Piagentini’s wife, oppose parole on any grounds. “He should never, ever get out of prison,” Diane Piagentini said. Sounds like she won't be attending the prison flute recital when Bell gets his big solo………

- The bell of the ball smashed one and all at the box office this weekend. “Cinderella” opened to $70 million in domestic dollars, bringing in as much money as every other movie out this weekend to rout the field. It was one of two new movies to top the field, as Liam Neeson’s “Run All Night” ranked second in its first weekend of release with $11 million. “Kingsman: The Secret Service” actually rose one spot back to third place for the frame, adding $6.3 million to its coffers for a five-week domestic haul of $107.3 million. “Focus” fell back two spots to fourth place with a $5.8 million weekend, adding $5.9 million to an overall domestic earnings total that stands at a modest $44 million in three weeks. The biggest free fall of the top 10 was “Chappie,” which tumbled from the top spot all the way down to fifth place as its earnings dipped 56 percent to a scant $5.8 million in its second weekend. The tightly bunch middle of the top 10 pack included “The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” in sixth place with $5.7 million as the critical favorite has churned out $18 million in its first two weeks. “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” stayed in the top 10 for the sixth straight week with a so-so $4.1 million. The animated not-so-epic has cartooned its way to $154.7 million so far, but could be on its way out of the top 10 soon. Eighth place belonged to “McFarland, USA,” which sprinted to $3.7 million this weekend and has done solid, unspectacular business for four weeks to the tune of $34.9 million overall. “American Sniper” shot back into the top 10 after a week away, banking $3 million to make its hulking 12-week take $341.5 million and counting. “The DUFF” claimed the final top 10 spot with $2.9 million, giving the teen comedy $8.5 million through four weeks. “Fifty Shades of Grey” (No. 11) and “The Lazarus Effect” (No. 12) both lost their top 10 spots from last week……….

- Perfectly plated, Maldives President Yameen Abdul Gayoom. When one of your biggest political rivals is charged with a crime, railroaded in court in a sham trial and sentenced to 13 years in prison and the international community is enraged to the point of demanding intervention, simply tell everyone to respect the legal process and all will be fine. Gayoom trying to shut up the rest of the world by insisting that it respect the court verdict that sentenced his political opponent to 13 years in prison against an outcry of enraged human rights supporters is equal parts hilarious and delusional. Nothing screams “secure in my power” quite like a written statement telling "international partners to engage constructively, based on mutual respect and dialogue." The outrage came after a decision late last week convicting former President Mohamed Nasheed of having a senior judge arrested illegally when he was president three years ago. The court deemed the arrest to be akin to an abduction, but if you believe the angry nations and human rights groups who raised concerns over the judicial procedure, this trial and its result are the true crime. Nasheed became the first democratically elected president of the Indian Ocean archipelago nation in 2008 and in a plot twist that just might have something to do with why he was on trial at all, he ended a 30-year autocratic rule by the current president's half-brother Maumoon Abdul Gayoom. Payback served by others so you can keep your hands clean while also imprisoning your enemy for more than a decade, all under the guise of a fair legal process, is the best………

- Getting fired for being fat and unreliable is no fun. Former Indianapolis Colts running back Trent Richardson is asking an arbitrator to take some of the sting out of his release by the Colts, specifically by restoring the $3.184 million he was to make during the 2015 season. The cherubic, perennially disappointing former University of Alabama star has filed a grievance against the team for voiding the money he was due next season in the hopes of recouping at least some of that cash. A clause in his contract allowed the Colts to avoid paying the final year of Richardson's rookie contract because he was suspended for two games the day before the AFC Championship Game, a ban enforced because he failed to notify the team he would be missing a walk-through practice the day before the New England game when his wife was in the hospital for pregnancy complications. That incident came at the end of a season in which Richardson also missed making weight 14 times, an issue that also dogged him during his stint in Cleveland before being traded to Indianapolis. "We had made an agreement where I'd weigh 230 pounds, but it turns out that I was supposed to be 227 pounds and they didn't tell me that," Richardson said. "We've got a list of things we can use against the Colts where I can get my money back. They were fining me for failing to meet conduct code. Not making weight is not conduct code." Late last week, Richardson characterized his tenure with the Colts as “a bad marriage” and with one partner failing to take care of themselves, packing on the pounds and not being where they were supposed to be and the other cutting them off financially, it looks like a very apt description. What no one is disputing is that Richardson boasts a pathetic average of 3.3 yards per carry for his career and has a grand total of three rushing touchdowns the past two seasons……….

Grimes explains axing an album, how to get a bear off your back and San Jose Sharks unity

- Raise of hands….who knows where Andorra is and that it’s not actually the name of a character on the old TV show “Bewitched?” In fact, Andorra is a real place and right now, it’s the center of an international financial sh*t storm involving allegations that a bank based there laundered funds for various unsavory groups from China, Russia and Venezuela. Those are three widely despised nations among the rest of the world, but for the right price, it appears Joan Pau Miquel Prats of Banca Privada d'Andorra with launder your dirty money so it comes out clean on the other side. Police in the tiny, landlocked nation ‘twixt Spain and France have arrested the chief executive officer of this shady bank and she will remain in jail until a likely court appearance Monday. Not so coincidentally, this very bank was just five days ago named a "primary money-laundering concern" by the U.S. Treasury Department. Following the announcement, Andorra suspended BPA's board and three members of its management team after taking over the bank and appointing temporary administrators. The news was equally bad for the bank outside the Andorran border as Spain and Panama also took over the bank's units in those countries. Maybe with Switzerland suddenly open to striking accords with neighbors such as Italy to eliminate some of its fabled banking secrecy, Andorran bankers saw an opening and decided to step their corruption game up a notch. Or maybe they were just dishonest, disreputable scumbags from the start and this mess was bound to go up in flames sooner rather than later………

- Way to pull together in the face of adversity and unite behind a common purpose, San Jose Sharks. The are in a bitter fight for a playoff spot in the tough Western Conference, but reaching the NHL postseason that has been a true house of horrors for them over the years seems to be on the back burner for at least two key members of the organization. Sharks center Joe Thornton and general manager Doug Wilson are directing more of their competitive fire toward one another than to any upcoming opponent following offensive remarks Wilson made about Thornton being stripped of his team captaincy because the pressure and stress were too much for him to handle. Questioning an athlete’s competitive integrity or ability to handle pressure are both certified reasons to drop gloves and go and that’s exactly what Thornton wanted to do after hearing what his boss had to say about him. "I think Doug just needs to shut his mouth," Thornton said. "All I've got to say is I've been here every day working hard. I haven't taken a sabbatical. He just needs to stop lying, shut his mouth.” Bam. That’s straight fire, right there. Wilson’s comments came not in an intense interview, but rather when he was bumping his gums in a meeting with about 350 season-ticket holders, "He cares about the game so much. The reason we took the 'C' off him ... Joe carries the weight of the team on his shoulders and he's got such a big heart that when stress comes on him, he lashes out at people and it kind of impacts them,” Wilson said. “"The pressure and stress, I felt, was getting to Joe. And I sat him down and said we need other players to step up and share this.” Worst of all, this drama comes nearly a year after Thornton was stripped of the captaincy last summer, with the Sharks coming off a first-round playoff elimination that came after they blew a 3-0 series lead. Eyes on the prize, fellas………

- Near-death experiences are the mother of invention, right? You nearly get eaten by a giant, angry bear looking to dismember you in under five minutes and maybe it gets the wheels turning on ideas to prevent similar occurrences for yourself and others in the future? Enter former U.S. Marine and current stuntman Billy Lucas, inventor of a new product he believes could both save lives and line his pockets with some extra cash. The standing advice for those who encounter angry bears is to never turn your back on them or try to run because in the end, the bear is going to track you down. Lucas’ own run-in with a bear came while fishing in Montana and it inspired him to create a backpack gadget he has dubbed the "Back Attack Pack," which sprays a torrent of repellent behind its wearer. "One thing I learned in my many years as a stunt man, and even serving as a Marine, is that a human being's instant reaction to any sort of danger, like an explosion, is to turn their body away and expose their backs," he said. "When I researched bear attacks, I was surprised to learn that is what most victims do as well." The Back Attack Pack is a simple bag affixed to a backpack and inside is a canister of bear repellent. A person can yank on a shoulder strap, exposing a cord that sprays out a massive blast of potent pepper spray at the offending bear. Montana-based UDAP Industries manufactures the product and like Lucas, company general manager Tim Lynch believes the device is a last resort in a life-threatening situation. With weather around the country improving and folks having a chance to get outdoors more, the Back Attack Pack is about to enjoy its first full season of market availability and maybe save a life or two……….

- Why, Grimes, why? The Canadian pop singer pulled the plug on what was to be her most recent album and while the smart music fans of the world and those who like songs that are actually good didn’t mind one bit, there is the question of whether an artist really did ditch an entire album based simply on fan reaction to an early single released from the project. Grimes, knowing it would be bad for her look as an artist if she really bailed on an album because social media users said nasty things about her crappy track, is denying those claims about the still-in-the-works successor to her 2012 album “Visions.” The single in question, “Go,” is a collaboration with Blood Diamonds which was originally written for Rihanna and in general, if a process and artificial act like Rihanna is turning down a song, it’s not exactly the “Let It Be” for a new generation. In response to the theory of why she axed her new material, Grimes wrote in a blog post that it was about her view of the songs, not those of her fans. "The album was scrapped cuz it was depressing and I didn't want to tour it," she wrote. "I may release it one day. I throw out music all the time, i have almost 1000 gigs of unreleased music on my hard drive. I just want the next album to be as good as possible.” Super, but not believable. Suggesting that “Go” was never going to be on the album and was merely released as a thank you to fans patiently waiting for the new album is also a lame and transparent ploy. But hey, the blog post did alert fans to the fact that Grimes is “really not that sad or insecure of a person,” so at least we all learned something here……….

SAE racism is national, James Bond defeated by Welsh legislators and pinkeye v. MLB

- Jerry Seinfeld once joked on his classic sitcom that the high-five is the lowest form of human greeting and should be eschewed at all costs. The Milwaukee Brewers are doing him proud with their new spring training edict, even if their motivation has little to do with advancing civilization and more to do with keeping their players away from the doctor’s office and prescription counter at the local pharmacy. Milwaukee is making its way through spring training out in Arizona and yet, this group of professional athletes is coping with a problem that’s more commonly on the agenda of your average kindergarten teacher. It seems the Brewers are in the midst of a pinkeye epidemic and realizing that in a sweaty, smelly and at-times unsanitary environment like a baseball clubhouse – or dugout – this illness could spread like news that the postgame clubhouse spread has arrived, the team is trying to cut out contact as much as possible. Thus, team officials have banned high-fives to avoid the spread of pinkeye following catcher Jonathan Lucroy and pitching coach Rick Kranitz getting snipered by the ailment and being forced to stay home for 48 hours in hopes of stopping the spread of the annoying and highly contagious malady. "We've been going through it for a while, and it seems like a couple of more show up every day," manager Ron Roenicke said. According to the skipper, the team won't high-five until the outbreak is over, making Friday afternoon’s battle against the Seattle Mariners a hand-slap-free environment. If only other MLB staples like the hot foot, shaving cream pies to the face and bubble gum bubbles on top of hats could be eradicated this easily………..

- Does the United States know what it’s getting itself into by opening the door to normalized relations with Cuba? Sure, allowing Americans to travel to Cuba and having a good economic rapport with the island nation seems swell, but Cuba might be a bigger bunch of badasses than anyone could have imagined. Look no further than this horrifying story of nearly two dozen people suspected of…wait for it….wait a little longer…. conspiring to pilfer millions of eggs for sale on the black market. Read that again and shudder, world, because these gangstas are staring down prison terms of eight to 20 years for their crimes and if Cuban prosecutors get their way, it will be closer to two decades for the 19 suspects accused of food theft, generating fraudulent receipts and other crimes. These aren’t just low-level criminals, either; the group of 19 includes several top executives of the state-run egg distribution company in Havana and according to the Communist Party, these evildoers were responsible for diverting some 8 million eggs to the black market between January and October 2012 in what could well go down as the single most-heinous poultry-related criminal enterprise in world history. It’s safe to say that the Italian mafia and Russian organized crime have never engaged in something so sinister involving items shot out of chickens’ backsides, with the company injured by this alleged enterprise of evil suffering some $356,000 in losses. It’s enough to make you wonder what else Cuba has been hiding behind its wall of secrecy all these years and just how terrifying the underworld is for Egg Beaters in Havana………

- Not everyone in the United Kingdom is a big fan of James Bond, even if he’s single-handedly keeping alive the image that British spies are suave, debonair dudes with great teeth and a nonstop line of smoking-hot ladies parading through their beds. The men and women of the Welsh National Assembly are certainly not overwhelmed by the awesomeness of Bond, not if the director for the new film “Spectre” wanted to shoot scenes in the Senedd debating chamber in Cardiff Bay but was rebuffed by the National Assembly. A request to film inside the debating chamber or Siambr was turned down by the National Assembly of Wales a few weeks back and now, the legislature is talking junk to Hollywood because…well, because it can. "The Senedd's Siambr is the home of Welsh democracy and seat of government for Wales. Some media activity is allowed in the Siambr when it relates to the work of the assembly or reflects the Siambr's status as the focal point of Welsh civic life. It is not a drama studio,” the legislature said in a statement. . "Decisions on requests from the creative industries to use the assembly's estate are made on a case by case basis, and we are proud to have collaborated with many television and film companies on drama productions such as Sherlock and Dr. Who. "The request by James Bond to use the Siambr was turned down and they were offered alternative locations on the estate which they subsequently declined." Served, director Sam Mendes and crew. The 24th Bond film may blow a lot of sh*t up, it may feature epic car chases and memorable fights in between Bond shagging the eye candy for the movie, but it will not be turning the Senedd debating chamber into its personal playground for the festivities………

- What the hell goes on at national meetings for the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity? It’s a question that needs to be asked in light of the SAE chapter at the University of Oklahoma being closed this month after video surfaced showing members engaging in a racist chant and their brothers at the University of Washington under investigation for making racial slurs and obscene gestures to black students as they marched passed the fraternity house during a protest. UW is investigating allegations that fraternity members – several white men – screamed the hateful remarks from the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house as demonstrators passed Feb. 25. Ironically, the protesters were part of a Black Lives Matter march to raise awareness about racism and in an ironic twist, their march may have done that on a larger, uglier scale than any of them could have imagined. The UW fraternity's chapter president, Michael Hickey, confirmed that Sigma Alpha Epsilon has investigated and said the fraternity believes the offending remarks in question actually came from nonmembers. Ever the good Samaritan, he added that the fraternity is working with others to hold them accountable, but the Black Student Union has asked the fraternity for an apology and plans to seek sanctions against it from the body that governs the university's fraternities. Now might be a good time to amend the ol’ SAE charter to include a line or two stating that, “Members and pledges shall not be racist a-holes or make bigoted, hate-speech remarks to any ethnic group or nationality.” You know, because abiding by what should be a universally understood rule seems to be a problem for SAE right now………..

MLS soccer in NYC is "going to suck," smuggling Kenyan stimulents and Mariah Carey comes home

- Mariah Carey isn't exactly looking to tread new musical ground these days, is she? She’s about to take up residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, the place where has-been pop stars go to rake in eight-figure annual salaries to perform a few shows a week for drunk, gambling-staggered tourists who need a break from losing all their money at the blackjack table. She’s also coming home to Epic Records 15 years after leaving the record label and when she gets there, she’s going to recycle the ultimate in regurgitated music products, her greatest hits album. She’s in the process of making an album featuring updates and duet versions of her biggest songs, which is certainly a departure of the typical greatest hits formula of trotting out 15 or so old song and two new, hastily assembled and thoroughly crappy “new” songs in an effort to Jedi mind-trick fans into buying the whole thing. Carey’s comeback to Epic will find her back together with Doug Morris, who inked her to the label back in 2003. Morris is now CEO of Sony Music, Epic’s parent company, so the aging songstress’ new multi-album deal will be overseen by L.A. Reid, the producer who helmed Carey’s multi-platinum album “The Emancipation Of Mimi” in 2005.Carey’s most recent album, the unimaginatively and boringly titled “Me. I Am Mariah,” dropped in 2014  and featured collaborations with Nas, Miguel, Wale and Fabolous. It moved a mere 117,000 copies in the United States, the lowest-selling of Carey’s career, which is precisely why you grab a big-money deal to become a Vegas lounge act and go to work on a recycled greatest hits effort……….

- Verrrrrry disappointing, three Danish women arrested at an airport at the Kenyan coast for allegedly attempting to smuggle 134 pounds of the mild stimulant khat from Africa back to their home country. If youre going to travel to a foreign country and attempt to jam a human being’s worth of illegal drugs into your luggage for the return flight, then you had damn well better make that drug something of immense value and potency. Instead, this trio of small-time rooks was taken into custody by police at the Moi International Airport in Mombasa after their khat was disocvered packed inside four suitcases. Richard Okweya, a police official, said two of the women were charged at the Mombasa law court with exporting undeclared goods, because khat is not illegal in Kenya. It is illegal in Denmark, meaning if these three women had not been apprehended before takeoff, they very likely would have ended up in three pairs of the silver bracelets once they landed back in Copenhagen. Khat has been illegal in Denmark since 1993, but this case is now based in Kenya, not Scandinavia. Charges against the third suspect were dropped because she was not travelling with the consignment, so she was released, leaving her two co-conspirators to plead guilty to the charges, which come with a $550 fine for each or a jail term of six months. Next time, maybe these brilliant ladies will come up with a better plan for acquiring, smuggling and selling illegal substances from abroad…or they’ll just be like normal adventurers and travel without needing to traffic drugs in the process……..

- New York Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira is right when he says that Major League Soccer at Yankee Stadium is “going to suck,” even if his reasoning is a bit off. Teixeira is against the newly minted NYCFC MLS team playing at the famed baseball venue because he believes that soccer is going to cause major damage to the grass. "It's going to suck, but you have to deal with it. It's going to tear up the infield, but there's nothing we can do about it, so we'll deal with it,” Teixeira said. The Yankees' front office agrees to disagree with the first baseman and believes the Yankee Stadium field will be fine for NYCFC to share it with the baseball team. "The field will be fine for both sports," Yankees president Randy Levine said, adding that the the team has studied the issue. He’s confident that with a period of three days between the NYCFC game and the Yankees' next game prior to all but one series, there is plenty of time to tend to the turf. "We spent a lot of time with a lot of people, including our stadium operations and grounds crew, who we think are best in the world," Levine said. "Man City, who are soccer experts, and their crew also advised us on how to keep the field in good shape." Of course, damaging the turf isn't the reason NYCFC at Yankee Stadium is going to suck. No, it will suck because it is still soccer, namely a second-rate soccer league that is still an afterthought on the international scene. MLS is where aged-out international stars go to die and adding more teams to a league that remains a second-class citizen behind the major American professional sports leagues isn't exactly a way to strengthen the product………..

- What is the price of being a U.S. Army pimp? For newly-demoted Sgt. 1st Class Gregory McQueen, it’s a steep one. He’s been sentenced to two years in prison and a dishonorable discharge for organizing a prostitution ring at Fort Hood while leading a sexual abuse prevention program, which is easily the shadiest example of abuse of power and crimes of opportunity in recent military history. The Army sergeant took advantage of his position at the sprawling Central Texas post and got away with it for a while, but eventually his crimes were exposed and two soldiers testified last year that McQueen recruited them and other cash-strapped female soldiers to join the prostitution ring. He pleaded guilty to 15 counts that included charges of pandering and conspiracy to solicit prostitution as his court-martial was about to open at Fort Hood, McQueen, avoiding having the case drag out further but setting in motion a chain of events as Lt. Col. Rebecca Connally busted him down to private, the lowest rank and pay grade in the U.S. Army. Because of the dishonorable discharge, McQueen is also ineligible for veterans' benefits, proving that even among the brave and courageous men and women who serve so selflessly around the world as part of the U.S. military, there are scumbags despicable enough to make a person feel ashamed to call themselves an American………

Cliff Lee v. pain, Iggy Azalea's tour delayed and Slovenian corruption fun

- Load those muskets, Utah, because a bygone era is coming back. Your state is looking to turn back the clock in a big way by moving toward the return of executions by firing squad. A vote by Utah lawmakers to bring back the outdated means of offing convicted criminals is proof of just how much states are wary of botching an execution by other means and concerned about shortages of lethal-injection drugs. Utah and several other states are rushing to tweak their laws after Oklahoma and Arizona both staged botched executions that left the condemned teetering on the edge of death for an extended period of time. Texas is down to its second-to-last dosage of drugs and Utah’s legislature is not waiting around to see what’s going to happen to the people it is waiting to send shuffling off this mortal coil. Utah Republican Gov. Gary Herbert has declined to say if he will sign the firing-squad bill, but that decision isn't likely to come for a week or so. Activist outfits such as the Washington, D.C.-based Death Penalty Information Center are largely against the firing squad bill, but Utah may not be the last state to seek creative, anachronistic alternatives as their drug inventories dwindle because European manufacturers opposed to capital punishment refuse to sell the components of lethal injections to U.S. prisons. Republican Rep. Paul Ray is leading the charge on this bill and his argument is that a team of trained marksmen is faster and more humane than injecting a condemned man or woman with a lethal cocktail of drugs and watching them stop breathing – should the execution go awry. Opponents have denounced the plan as an antiquated method of killing folks and point to the fact that the state stopped offering inmates the choice of firing squad in 2004, saying the method attracted intense media interest and took attention away from victims. Utah has a curious fascination with the practice as the only state in the past 40 years to kill someone by pumping them full of lead……….

- Note to anyone expecting a few months to make a real difference for Iggy Azalea’s Great Escape Tour….it won't. The overproduced pop singer was supposed to set out in the next few weeks to tour North America with her repertoire of crappy pop music, but a statement from her label, Def Jam, informed the world that Azalea has postponed her g tour in order to further develop her live show. What….you couldn’t just throw more lights and more pyrotechnics at that mess, auto tune the hell out of her subpar voice and make sure that the volume is cranked up higher and keep things on schedule? "To accommodate for creative team availability and tour productions, it was determined that the tour will not be ready this spring," the label said in its statement. "It's important to Iggy that she delivers the show she envisaged to share with her fans and that requires more time in development." Bonus points for using the word envisaged in a statement for an artist who is as lyrically intelligent as a third grader, but the idea that Azalea is such a prima donna that she can't go out on the road with her abysmal music until the tour is perfect is simply hilarious. If only she waited to release an album until it no longer totally sucked….she would have released zero albums to date. Then again, she’s been on a diva tirade of late, having hit the eject button on running her Instagram account and abandoning her 6.6 million followers, along with her Twitter peeps, because social media was making her so angry it was affecting the recording of her new album. Hey Iggs, no offense, but good artists are supposed to be able to take their rage and channel it into their music rather than letting it get inside their heads. It’s the essence of the early days of punk rock, but overinflated senses of self-importance seem to be the hallmarks of the Iggy Azalea regime………

- Slovenian police may be grasping at straws at this point. The government is feverishly pressing forward with its case against former Prime Minister Alenka Bratusek, who is being investigated on suspicion of abuse of power after her government unsuccessfully nominated her for the European Commission last year, but so far there have been zero arrests made and The Man seems to be reaching desperately in all directions at this point. Its most recent move was a full search of Bratusek’s home, but her lawyer says it is not clear what police were looking for and claimed that all documents have already been given to the anti-corruption commission. Bratusek led the government from March 2013 to May 2014 but of late, she’s been making headlines because she is under investigation by Slovenian anti-graft authorities after the nomination that critics denounced as an unlawful self-appointment. The European Parliament overwhelmingly rejected Bratusek's bid for the flimsy reason that she was not qualified to become a commissioner, but that simply ignores the fact that people are appointed all the time to political posts for which they are not qualified; in a sense, it’s how the political world works. Not only did police search Bratusek’s home, but they also scoured four other locations linked to her political party. Maybe they received an anonymous tip and maybe they’re just flipping over every couch cushion in the hopes of finding some spare change/evidence to bolster their subpar case, but actually finding a smoking gun – literal or metaphorical – would be very helpful at this point, lest another (allegedly) corrupt politician go free on account of a bungled investigation and/or prosecution……..

- Some athletes embrace the idea of the grind, of playing through the pain and battling to be on the field for their teammates and the team paying them millions of dollars. Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Cliff Lee is not that guy, at least not at this point in his career. The  36-year-old left-hander is dealing with some ailments in his left elbow even though renowned orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews and team officials are both adamant that an MRI of Lee's torn common flexor tendon shows no apparent change. Lee has been fighting discomfort in the elbow and even though he was medically cleared to resume a throwing program, he insists that he’s not going to be on the mound if the pain in his elbow returns. "There's no timeline [to make a decision on surgery]," Lee said. "I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing and do it as long as I can. I'm not going to go out there in pain to where something bad can potentially happen. That doesn't make sense to me. So I'm going to play as long as I comfortably can.”  General manager Ruben Amaro Jr. said the team is "not terribly optimistic" that the veteran left-hander can avoid surgery and Lee doesn’t seem any more positive about the chances of ducking the knife after twice trying to rehab the injury since last May and experiencing the same discomfort on both occasions. "It's not a good sign, obviously," Lee said. "It's not good. At this point in my career, it's hard to find a problem with going out there and just continuing to try and do it to see what happens.” In Major League Baseball, where contracts are guaranteed and Lee will be making the remaining $25 million on his current deal regardless of whether he pitches or not, there’s little anyone can do to compel him to grit his teeth and throw innings for a team expected to be among the National League’s worst this season. Ain’t sports grand………

Lady pimps with reality show dreams, have Wu-Tang as your mentor and NBA playoff spite

- Too many players and executives in professional sports make remarks, realize their words offended someone and decide to meekly back down because of the resulting uproar against their sentiments. Toronto Raptors general manager Masai Ujiri isn't joining that parade of mild-mannered weaklings, at least not this time. Last we saw Ujiri, he was showing up at a rally outside Game 1 of the Raptors’ first-round series against Brooklyn and dropping a nice, loud F-bomb on the opposing Nets. Ujiri bellowed  "F--- Brooklyn!" at a fan rally outside Air Canada Centre prior to the April 19 game and shortly after the incident, he offered a sort of mea culpa, saying, You know how I feel. ... I don't like 'em," while apologizing for his language. Time doesn’t seem to have softened that stance and if anything, Ujiri sounds like a man who’s had time to consider what he did and realize that he should be damn proud of it. "Trust me, I ain't taking that back," Ujiri said during a speech to a Canadian basketball forum. "I hope we play them again. I'll say it again." He got some laughs from the audience, but seemed to be genuine about wanting another shot at the Nets. Right now, the third-seeded Raptors (38-25) hold a 12-game lead over the Nets (25-36) in the Atlantic Division standings and the Nets are going to have to make up a lot of ground merely to earn a playoff spot of any kind. It would also help if the Raptors would stop their free fall down the Eastern Conference standings and regain a top-two spot so Brooklyn wouldn’t have to climb so high in the rankings just to earn that rematch……..

- Did you enjoy your evening of mayhem, Ireland? Yes, most nights could be construed as  mayhem in certain cities, no names mentioned Dublin, but Tuesday night was particularly interesting because of the unexpected actions of a top Irish court. The court pulled a fast one by declaring a key aspect of the country's anti-narcotics laws illegal, temporarily legalizing the possession of many street stimulants and hallucinogens. A short window legalizing ganja, mushrooms, LSD and the like may not sound like much, but a window is a window and even if the government cautioned drug dealers that, despite the ruling, they would be arrested if caught by police dealing drugs overnight. Health Minister Leo Varadkar nearly broke his ankles trying to jump out in front of this potential train wreck as the government scrambled to close the surprise loophole with an emergency late-night bill. Those who took advantage of the night of (relative) freedom can thank Ireland's Court of Appeal, which ruled that an executive order outlawing more than 100 drugs was unconstitutional because lawmakers had not voted in support of the measure. The case before the court saw justices rule in favor of a man convicted in 2012 of possessing a drug that the government had placed on its outlawed substances list the previous year. Getting over on the government thanks to a technicality is one of the wonderful quirks of any legal system, but when that quirk leads to an opening to legally peddle all manner of illegal substances on the street for a few hours of bliss, then the world is a more interesting place for it………..

- This new trend of artists trying to offer perks and benefits to fans to provide financial support for their new project is really catching on. First, has-been girl group TLC’s two living members dangled sleepovers, artifacts from the group’s past and other chances to connect with them in exchange for fans who chipped off a few dollars toward their Kickstarter campaign for their new album. Now, a couple artists of much bigger musical stature are reaching out in the same way as they look to fund a documentary on one of their respective, iconic rap releases. Raekwon and Ghostface Killah are offering fans who give them money for a documentary on Raekwon's classic 1995 debut album “Only Built 4 Cuban Linx” the chance to send in a mixtape of their own that the duo will then critically evaluate and provide feedback on. The Wu-Tang Clan rappers. The documentary, titled “The Purple Tape Files,” will feature interviews with people throughout the music industry who will talk about the album and its impact not only on music, but popular culture as well. Unlike TLC, Raekwon and Ghostface are going with Fanbacked, which is a poor man’s copy of Kickstarter. Through the site, the pair are offering fans a number of perks, ranging from a sticker for a $5 contribution to a symbolic producer’s credit on the film for a mere $10,000. The chance to have your mixtape reviewed won’t come cheap and it depends on how many songs you want reviewed. The price tag is $200 per track, which seems steep, but when you consider a chance to make a name for yourself amongst a crowded landscape of MCs, what is price? "I will sit down and review the track submitted," Raekwon wrote on the crowdfunding page. "Then we'll open up our PERSONAL studios to our favorite artists from the auditions to host a recording session and work with YOU on how to improve that sound and make something iconic." Now is your chance, would be rap stars, so act now……….

- There are delusional kooks among us, world. Sometimes these fools are harmless and do little more than make asses of themselves while spewing their nonsensical views out into the world. Other times, they inject gallons of industrial-grade silicone into women’s asses and kill those women before declaring themselves to be the "Michelangelo of buttocks injections" who is also the ruler of their own "Madamic" kingdom with dreams of conquering the world. Enter former Philadelphia madam Padge-Victoria Windslowe, who was convicted of third-degree murder after her black-market "body sculpting" led to a dancer's death. Windslowe’s delusions of grandeur also include a crush on Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu – seriously, Netanyahu? – and her most realistic dream of the bunch, starring in her own reality TV show. Most of her claims came in letters she sent while under a gag order by the judge in her case. The murder conviction involved the death of dancer Claudia Aderotimi, who sought to have her butt enhanced on the cheap and allowed Windslowe to inject her with nearly a half-gallon of silicone. The ex-madam said during the trial that she did similar work on thousands of women, which seems to indict either her grasp on reality, her math skills or both. In the end, you can argue that anyone dumb enough to allow a lady pimp with no medical training and a firm belief that she has her own kingdom on Earth to inject silicon into their body in God only knows what shady, filthy back room locale can't really expect a good outcome, but thankfully this sham of a medical practice has officially been shuttered………