Space harpoons, angry Serbians and movie news

- The idea of a space harpoon just SOUNDS cool. Using one to deal with a growing problem lurking in outer space is even better. On the surface, the concept of harpooning space junk sounds like a bad sci-fi movie script, but this unique concept is actually one of many options being discussed by scientists at a forum in Germany this week. Engineer Jaime Reed, who is leading the harpoon project for the space technology company Astrium, believes the space harpoon is a cost-effective way of dealing with debris littering low earth orbit. "There's a lot of space debris -- 6,000 tons in orbit -- that could pose a threat," Reed said. "Perhaps unwittingly, the average person relies a lot on space – GPS in their phones, telecoms, TV, weather forecasts -- they are things people expect to have.” Floating space debris threatens commercial operations on a daily basis and if a rogue satellite hits another, not only does it ruin the mission, but the collision creates even more space debris. Such an occurrence is often called the Kessler Syndrome, named after NASA's Don Kessler who first highlighted the risk. "Space debris could very easily take out some of those satellites -- it would have a real impact on people's lives,” Reed added. Astrium's plan is to take down defunct satellites by using unmanned chase spacecraft to get in range, then fire a barbed harpoon into the body of the rogue hardware and then use a smaller propulsion unit attached to a tether to tow it back towards the atmosphere. The inoperable satellite would then burn up safely on reentry. "Because the harpoon we are using is very light and the chase satellite more than a ton, momentum is very tiny...it's a small recoil," Reed explained. His company has tested the harpoon system a laboratory in the United Kingdom and based on those tests, Reed projects that the system could tackle 10 targets per mission and believes that if five to 10 objects were removed each year then that would "stabilize the debris population.” In other words, ready the harpoon…….

- The weekend box office was plunged into a state of “Oblivion” for the just-completed frame as Tom Cruise climbed back to the top of the earnings list with his new film. “Oblivion” claimed the top spot and while it didn’t set any records, a $38.1 million opening is respectable. Last week’s top movie, “42,” dropped one spot to rank second and brought in $18 million to up its two-week domestic total to $54.1 million. “The Croods” landed in third place with $9.5 million and after five productive weeks in theaters, it has banked $155 million and counting in the U.S. “Scary Movie 5” was next up in fourth place, raking in $6.3 million and raising its cumulative tally to a mediocre $23 million. The fifth spot on the list belonged to “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” with $5.8 million, a movie that has fallen fast in its first month of release but nonetheless earned $111.2 million overall to approach the break-even point against its $130 million budget. Critical darling “The Place Beyond the Pines” finished sixth, making $4.8 million, good for sixth place and a four-week, limited-release total of $11.4 million. “Olympus Has Fallen” didn’t fall at all, remaining in seventh place on the strength of a $4.5 million effort. Through five weeks, “Olympus” has brought in a solid $88.8 million and counting. “Evil Dead” scared its way to $4.1 million in its third week of release and its total earnings stand at $48.4 million against a $17 million budget. The shameless cash grab that is “Jurassic Park 3D” churned out $4 million to buoy its three-week bank roll to $38.5 million and claim ninth place. “Oz The Great and Powerful” rounded out the top 10 with $3 million, good for a seven-week total of $223.7 million. “Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor” (mercifully down to No. 11) fell out from last weekend’s top 10……

- Duuuuuude, totally not cool. On the first Stoner Christmas following the state of Colorado’s legalization of marijuana, the last thing the state’s stoner community needed was a major pothead gathering turning into a violence scene that could be replayed on television over and over and serve as ammunition for all of the hippie lettuce haters out there. Yet that is exactly what happened at a Denver pot celebration Saturday, with gunfire erupting and leaving two people injured while others frantically rushed to get away from the downtown park where they had gathered. One man and one woman were shot, but were expected to survive. Police continue to search for one or two suspects, according to Denver Police spokesman Sonny Jackson. Witnesses described a scene in which potheads of all ages, races and nationalities gathered to toke it up, only to have the mellow atmosphere turn panicked just before 5 p.m. Initially, some of the gathered potheads mistakenly thought firecrackers were being set off, which makes sense because stoners rarely perceive reality in an accurate fashion. Witness Travis Craig said he used a belt to apply a tourniquet to the male shooting victim’s leg and recalled that “the cops showed up real quick, like, less than a minute. They put him on ambulance and left.” No official estimate was given, but the pot rally was expected to draw as many as 80,000 people to commemorate the first 4/20 since Colorado and Washington made marijuana legal for recreational use. Police on motorcycles and horses monitored the rally, but officers didn't arrest people for smoking in public and DPD officials said earlier in the week that they were focused on crowd security in light of attacks earlier in the week at the Boston Marathon. Other witnesses reported hearing four or five shots and seeing a man running through the crowd after the shots were fired. Rapper Lil' Flip was performing when the shootings occurred, looking to continue a day filled with rap, reggae and the smell of chron wafting through the Mile High air. Instead, one idiot with a gun had to ruin it for everyone……..

- Keep being ridiculous, soccer. There may not be any riots, attempts to burn down a stadium or city over the result of a match or lit road flares hurled at players from the stands on this day, but that doesn’t mean the “beautiful game” is not every bit as absurd today as it has ever been. Thank Uruguayan madman/Liverpool striker Luis Suarez, who punctuated Sunday's 2-2 draw against Chelsea in the English Premier League by biting the arm of Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic. Suarez has gained a deserved reputation as something of a serial biter and served a seven-game suspension for a bite during a Dutch league match in 2010. His chomp-down on Sunday came after he was foiled by Ivanovic as he attempted to kick the ball between the center back's legs in the penalty area. The ball ricocheted toward the edge of the area and rather than give chase or try to make another play, Suarez could be seen on replays biting into Ivanovic's jersey at the top of the right arm. To his credit (and perhaps confirming he has already received his rabies shot for the year), Ivanovic shrugged off Suarez and pleaded with referee Kevin Friend for a red card, but Friend didn't see the incident and didn't speak to Suarez. "We will review it, and we will comment after that," Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers said. "Until we review it, we can't comment on it." Suarez was banned for seven matches in November 2010, for biting PSV Eindhoven's Otman Bakkal while playing in the Dutch league and since then, he has rocked the nickname "Cannibal of Ajax." The true beauty of Suarez is that he doesn’t only commit reprehensible acts; he also says offensive and terrible things to others. For example, he was suspended for eight games in December 2011 for making racist insults to Manchester United defender Patrice Evra during a Premier League match. What’s mildly sad about his nonstop idiocy is that he does have major talent on the pitch and on Sunday, his goal in the seventh minute of injury time -- one more that initially signaled -- gave Chelsea the draw. Amidst his assaults and racism, Suarez leads the Premier League with 23 goals and has 30 overall this season………

- Nothing is official yet, but a war-torn region took a significant step forward Sunday when Serbia's ruling parties pledged Sunday to support a landmark agreement to normalize relations with former province Kosovo. If put into effect, the agreement could bring a long-awaited conclusion to years of tensions and put both states on a path to European Union membership. Kosovo declared independence in 2008 as it nationalists positioned it as the medieval genesis of the Serbian state and religion, but Belgrade has pledged never to recognize the secession. EU leaders stepped in and brokered the tentative deal in Brussels on Friday in talks with the prime ministers of Serbia and Kosovo. Under the terms of the agreement, Kosovo's ethnic Albanian leadership would have authority over rebel Kosovo Serbs. In exchange, the minority Serbs would receive wide autonomy within Kosovo. For now, the agreement is tentative because the Serbian and Kosovo governments and their parliaments must approve it. However, even striking an accord seemed unlikely during the past few months of tense negotiations between the two premiers. Leaders of both main ruling parties in Serbia promised on Sunday to support the tentative agreement at a government session scheduled for Monday. A Serbian parliamentary session to debate the deal will take place later in the week. Serb nationalists are clearly not fans of the agreement and their immediate outrage has led to plans for major street protests. Several hundred far-right protesters got an early start on the dissidence Sunday, marching in Belgrade and chanting "treason, treason,” while demanding the ouster of the government. Serbian Progressive Party leader and deputy Prime Minister Aleksandar Vucic refused to rule out a referendum on the proposed deal if there is no national consensus on how Serbia should deal with Kosovo. One area that would be significantly affected by the deal is the north of Kosovo, which is inhabited predominantly by ethnic Serbs. The agreement would allow Serbs to police and manage in exchange for nominal recognition of the authority of the Kosovo government. There is a long road still to walk, but Sunday was the biggest step forward in some time……..

When Greece attacks, when Fall Out Boy is delusional and Yahoo fights back

- Greeks have spent plenty of time raging against the machine over the past two years. With their economy on the brink of collapse and the European Union forcing austerity measures on its government in order to obtain funding, the everyman has had every reason to be upset. The result, as least for three farm foremen, seems to be a nasty case of trickle-down economic violence. These three kooks, who are now the target of a police manhunt, are suspected of shooting and wounding more than 20 migrant workers at a strawberry farm. Shooting is apparently the prescribed response when a crowd of about 200 mostly Bangladeshi immigrants are rising up and showing the gall to demand that they be paid for their work. According to police, the workers were demanding wages that had not been paid promised wages of $28.70 a day. "They keep telling us that we will get paid in a month, and this has been going on for more than a year," said one worker, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "We don't talk about it because we are afraid that we will be killed or kicked out." The shooting indicates that those fears have some basis in reality and with the strong anti-foreigner sentiment in a country where one worker in four is unemployed after five years of recession, the fact that more such incidents do not occur is the real surprise. The owner of the farm in the southwestern town of Manolada, where the shooting took place, has been arrested and the wounded were taken to a hospital, but none of the injuries was believed to be serious. Greece is a popular point of transit for Asian and African migrants trying to enter the European Union through its porous sea and land borders and Greece, like the United States, has a large number of illegal workers in its workforce……….

- Has Fall Out Boy looked in the mirror….ever? An objective person would have to say no because if the pop-punkers had ever taken a discerning look at themselves, there is no way bassist Pete Wentz could say that he and his bandmates are the only group "willing to try and save rock n' roll" and not burst out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter at the bald-faced lie he just told. Yet there was Wentz, promoting his band’s new album, “Save Rock and Roll,” and lamenting the lack of "rock star heroes" on today's music scene. Wentz had the audacity to say that he – FALL OUT BOY BASSIST PETE WENTZ – is tired of other bands all sounding the same. "Why are we the only band willing to take up the challenge of saving rock n' roll?" he said. "I want us to make kids feel the way I did watching Guns N' Roses vid­eos as a kid – you need rock star heroes." Great, but FOB has NEVER made anyone feel that way. They make people feel as if pop music has been infused with a 5 percent concentration of watered-down punk rock and then force-fed down their throats under the guise of being real rock and roll. Wentz based his criticism on the fact that he spent a lot of time surveying the music scene during the band’s recent hiatus. "In our time off, I listened to a lot of radio and it all sounded the same,” Wentz added. Lead singer Patrick Stump backed up his bandmate, saying, "People will be mad about our album title, but it’s so sad when bands play it safe.” Of course, these two musical adventurers are the same ones who feature Elton John and the walking attention whore that is Courtney Love on their new album, so they may want to take stock of their own work before casting aspersions on anyone else……..

- Yahoo is trying to deliver on its promise of offering users a range of new mobile products over the next several months. In that quest, the tech giant has released two new mobile apps, one each for weather and email, in the hopes that such a move would alleviate the pressure it has felt in recent years to adapt and grow as more and more tech users have migrated to mobile devices, social apps and social networks. Yahoo has no social network or smartphone and has thus fallen behind rivals Google, Apple and Facebook. Controversial CEO Marissa Mayer said Tuesday during the company’s first-quarter earnings call that the new apps are expected to change that reality. The new Weather and Mail apps are designed to be user-friendly, intuitive and visually appealing. The Weather app, which is available now for iPhone, iPad and iPod touch, embodies this by featuring photos it displays in the background taken in cities near the user’s location, which are supplied by users of Yahoo’s Flickr photo-sharing service. The Mail app, which is available for iPad and Android tablets, aims to “get rid of the noise,” Yahoo said, and function like a digital magazine in which users can flip through emails and delete, star or move messages with a quick swipe. “We’ve designed Yahoo Mail to take full advantage of the tablet making reading your email faster, easier and just a little bit more fun,” the company said in a blog post. Some of the Mail app’s organizational features are strikingly similar (i.e. blatant rip-offs) of mobile emailing applications offered by other companies. Early social media reaction to Yahoo’s new apps has been largely mixed, but through the first three months of 2013, the number of monthly, mobile active users on Yahoo surpassed 300 million for the first time, Mayer said. There is plenty of ground left to make up, but at least Yahoo is trying…….

- Politicians never do enough to recognize themselves. One member of the Tennessee General Assembly is keenly aware of this problem and it’s why, as the legislature’s current session winds down, State Representative Jon Lundberg is ramping up – his efforts to give himself more credit, that is. Lundberg is using the final days of the current session to introduce a resolution honoring the 20th anniversary of his company, Bristol-based The Corporate Image. In Lundberg’s defense, he is looking to generate business and publicity by capitalizing on his status as an elected official, er, to do what any president of a company marking its 20th anniversary would do. "You know frankly, I think its much ado about nothing." Lundberg lamented. "The interesting paradigm in that spot, is your the president of a company that does celebrate 20 years, and has employed people, and you would like this kind of recognition...you've done it before...way before being involved in politics...what do you do?" It’s an interesting question and one that certainly can’t be answered by suggesting that he actually work on bills that would benefit his constituents who don’t happen to be himself. The legislature has passed 476 resolutions so far this year to honor outstanding achievements by Tennesseans across the state, along with anniversaries and memorials for those that have recently passed away. Government watchdogs tend to red-flag such actions as wastes of time and money and while they’re right because a resolution can cost a few hundred dollars to write, format, and print, it’s virtually impossible to put a price tag on the benefit of self-exultation by a lowly state representative. In response to the critics, Lundberg said that his staff at his business wrote and formatted the resolution, and that he paid $20 for the paper that it was printed on, thereby eliminating the cost to taxpayers. In the end, there is no sense in wondering what Lundberg could have accomplished with the time he’s spent on this resolution so far………

- Rarely do analysts and experts give an NBA team no chance of winning a series before it even begins. The Milwaukee Bucks are that rare squad that no one – not even their own families if made to answer under the influence of truth serum – believes can win because their opponents, the Miami Heat, just submitted one of the best seasons in NBA history. The Heat went 66-16, have the best player in the world and are the reigning NBA champions. On the other hand, the Bucks are 38-44 and they are the only team with a losing record to make this year’s playoffs. They have gone 12-17 since a midseason trade that netted shooting guard J.J. Redick and enter Game 1 of their first-round series with the Heat on Sunday as one of the biggest postseason underdogs in NBA history. Bucks point guard Brandon Jennings knows all of that and he doesn’t give a damn. He showed up on his team’s official Twitter feed with the following message: “We’re Gonna Win In Six. - Brandon Jennings on #BucksPlayoffs.” Earlier this season, the third-year point guard said he wanted to play the Heat in the playoffs because they "match up well." Matching up well did allow the Bucks to beat the Heat once in four matchups this seasons, so perhaps Jennings has a point. Either way, the Heat don’t seem too concerned about his hubris and with good reason. They will roll over the Bucks with or without bulletin board material and Heat coach Erik Spoelstra doesn’t sound concerned. " That wouldn't deserve me bringing it up. This series will be decided between those four lines," Spoelstra said when asked after Friday's practice about Jennings' comment. "And you can't hide from that.” The Heat’s best player was equally nonplussed when questioned about the braggadocious words from a player who hasn’t accomplished 1 percent of what he has in his career. "Whatever their confidence or motivation is, that's for them to figure out," LeBron James said. "We're only concentrated on what we're doing here." Jennings’ words might carry more gravity if the Bucks hadn’t lost seven of their last night games and the Heat weren’t 37-2 in their last 39 games……

A new dinosaur in Madagascar, "Glee" gets two more seasons and woman-abusing city council members

- The scene was ugly this week in France and the fact that botched breast implants were involved isn't surprising. The drama was high as five French executives who mercilessly heckled by victims as they went on trial on accusations of supplying women with hundreds of thousands of substandard breast implants and triggering a global health scare. More than 300,000 women worldwide received the defective implants from the French company Poly Implant Prothese (PIP)over the course of a decade and while it’s easy to argue that these women wouldn’t have had this troubled if they weren’t so superficial and vapid and hadn't sought to artificially enhance their racks, those responsible still must face justice. This trial includes 5,000 civil plaintiffs and 300 lawyers and they’re all gunning for PIP's founder and chief executive, 73-year-old Jean-Claude Mas, and his four co-defendants. Mas has admitted filling the implants with an unapproved homemade recipe made of industrial-grade silicone gel. Even for the non-rack-enhancing expert, that seems like it could cause some problems and so it is that Mas and four PIP executives, including the chief financial officer, are charged with aggravated fraud and risk maximum prison terms of five years each, plus fines. The jerry-rigged fake racks were sold around the world from 2001 to 2010 before they were ordered off the market. Crowds for the trial are expected to be so massive that a large exhibition building close to PIP's former premises in the southern city of Marseille has been set up as a makeshift courtroom to accommodate. The trial is due to last until May 14 and it got off to a rousing start this week when Mas arrived at court under police escort and someone in the audience of some 300 victims shouted "Bastard!" It is an inglorious ending for what was once the world's third-largest supplier of breast implants and should get uglier from here. There are expected to be many stories told like that of a French woman who was among those outside the court and who alleges that one of her PIP implants began to leak four years after their insertion. "We had foreign bodies put inside us that were flawed ... we could have maybe died from it. The anger is because we were tricked," Tomassine Catalano said. "It's frightening." What’s disturbing about all of this is that the reason PIP’s scam was shut down is someone gave authorities an anonymous tip an inspectors discovered vats of industrial-grade silicone outside the PIP factory in 2010………

- Are the creators of “Jurassic Park” paying attention to this? When they’re cranking out the ninth horrible installment of the dino-centric movie franchise, they will have another beast to add to their collection. This small, meat-loving dinosaur has claimed a place in Madagascar's dinosaur records and it sports the scientific name Dahalokely tokana. Dubbed Lonely Small Bandit," it is the first new dinosaur species identified on the island country in nearly a decade. Prior to its discovery, scientists had evidence of dinosaurs that that lived 165 million years ago and also 70 million years ago, but the time in between those two eras was a large void. Project leader Andrew Farke and his team believe that the Lonely Small Bandit measured between 9 and 14 feet long, walked upright on two legs and had small, Tyrannosaurus rex-like arms. Its “Bandit” moniker stems from the fact that the Dahalokely tokana likely hunted and scavenged for any meat it could find. "We had always suspected that abelisaurids [carnivorous theropods] were in Madagascar 90 million years ago, because they were also found in younger rocks on the island,” Farke said. "Dahalokely nicely confirms this hypothesis. But, the fossils of Dahalokely are tantalizingly incomplete - there is so much more we want to know. Was Dahalokely closely related to later abelisaurids on Madagascar, or did it die out without descendants?" Lonely Small Bandit remains were found near the city of Antsiranana, in northernmost Madagascar. Cavities located on the side of its vertebrae were shaped unlike those of any other known dinosaur and some of its other characteristics mirror those found in species from both India and Madagascar. "This dinosaur was closely related to other famous dinosaurs from the southern continents, like the horned Carnotaurus from Argentina and Majungasaurus, also from Madagascar," said Joe Sertich, another member of the team that discovered the new dinosaur. "This just reinforces the importance of exploring new areas around the world where undiscovered dinosaur species are still waiting.” Let’s have a big ROAR for science on this great find…….

- Aspiring NFL draftees head to the NFL scouting combine in Indianapolis for the biggest job interview of their lives. Every year, at least one or two would-be NFLers don’t get the memo and show up badly out of shape or having smoked pot in the past few weeks and therefore unable to pass a drug test they knew was coming. This year’s combine disappointments may have taken a different route and these two (alleged) knuckleheads are Clemson wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins and Rutgers wide receiver Mark Harrison. Hopkins and Harrison were the not-so-proud occupants of an Indianapolis hotel room that sounds as if were occupied by an all-hours after party thrown by members of Guns ‘N Roses and Black Sabbath in their prime. Reports from Indianapolis have painted a picture of a room with urine and feces all over the place, toothpaste left on the mirror and partially eaten food on one of the beds. Witnesses claim that neither player made any attempt to clean up the mess and so far, neither player has taken responsibility for the condition of the room. Harrison has steadfastly denied that he is responsible for what happened to the room and his agent, Ed Wasielewski, also said Harrison was not involved. "My client completely denies having anything to do with the hotel incident," he said. In an amazing coincidence, Hopkins' agent, Hadley Engelhard was similarly adamant that his client was not responsible for the demolished hotel room. "He had as much to do with anything in that room as you did,” Engelhard said to reporters. Hopkins’ story is that the room was fine when he checked out. "Luckily, thank God, my agent got my flight booked early or it really would've been questionable if I did [it] or not," he said. "My agent got my flight booked early. He told me hurry up. I got done before Mark Harrison, so I was already packed. I already took a shower and packed and everything. Mark came in and we spoke for at least 20 minutes about the combine. Then the bellman came in and helped me get my bags out. And I left. That's, honestly, all I can say.” Hopkins suggested that the hotel check the security cameras to find out what happened and that would be fine….if hotels had security cameras inside rooms. Just to recap, a posh room Hopkins and Harrison shared on the first floor of the Crowne Plaza somehow became a larger equivalent of an exploded portable toilet with a few globs of toothpaste mixed in and yet, neither one of them had anything to do with it……..

- City council meetings tend to be extremely boring. They’re tedious, filled with roll calls and procedural nonsense and sparsely attended. Laws about issues such as composting and parking fines are discussed and five people with nothing better to do than spend an hour and a half of their life listening to such tedium are the only ones who attend. Wednesday night’s meeting of the Grand Junction City Council was a welcome exception to this rule and that’s due almost entirely to one man and the criminal charges he is currently facing. That man is council member to-be Richard Brainard, who was released from jail last week after he was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend. Brainard has been voted to a position on the council, but has yet to take his seat. If the council’s current members have their way, he never will. At the meeting, the voted to send Brainard a letter asking for his resignation. Citizens handled the situation in an extremely classy manner, mocking Brainard with fake black eyes and bandages and duct tape over their mouths. Nothing says respect for an alleged instance of domestic violence quite like fake abuse marks. Those clowning members of the public expressed the same sentiment as the council: Step down now. Brainard insists he has no plans to resign even though many supporters who voted for him in the election have pulled their support. During the meeting, one member of the council opposed seeking Brainard’s resignation he hasn’t been convicted of the charges because, but perhaps the group should consider keeping him around because their meetings haven’t been this lively in a long time…….

- That certainly was unexpected. Fox’s song-and-dance drama “Glee” was believed to be on the ropes and on the verge of being canceled as its fourth season winds down. Speculation that the series had run its course and told all the stories it had to tell was strong, but Fox seems to have been thinking the exact opposite. The network announced Friday that “Glee” has been renewed for not just one season, but two seasons. That sort of commitment is not common among networks, but perhaps Fox wanted to use the announcement as a way to bolster its support and make it clear that the show would not be going anywhere any time soon. Announcing a two-season extension could also be an attempt to bolster ratings, which have hovered at 8.7 million viewers this season, including DVR viewing delayed up to seven days. Fans are more likely to commit to a show if they know it will be around for a while, so announcing two more seasons of “Glee” are ahead could be just that kind of ploy. "'Glee' debuted as the first and only successful musical comedy series on television, and more than four years later, it continues to defy genres, break new ground and have a significant impact on popular culture," said Fox entertainment chairman Kevin Reilly in a statement. "Week in and week out, (producers) Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan, Dante DiLoreto and the entire 'Glee' team deliver a series that not only delights and surprises fans, but also inspires them to talk about, share, debate and engage with the show -- and I'm absolutely thrilled to have them on board for another two seasons." In the statement, Murphy thanked the network and studio along with "our loyal audience, whose passion and enthusiasm continue to amaze and inspire us." Smiles all around……..

Pro wrestling jobs in Florida, reviving '90s sitcoms and Chip Kelly revolutizes the NFL

- Although the program he left behind at the University of Oregon is in the crosshairs of an NCAA investigation into recruiting violations, Chip Kelly is looking ahead. Ask his new tight end and that look just might reinvent the way to NFL works. Kelly is now the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles and he has brought his up-tempo, high-octane offense to the NFL with him. Eagles tight end Brent Celek believes that approach will reshape the NFL. "From a communication standpoint, it's going to change the game," Celek said. "Just the way they can communicate plays and get us into the stuff that's pretty cool. It's something I never even thought was possible in the NFL. He has a reason why each play is called what it is. And it all makes sense." Kelly's fast-break offense features formations and pace that are expected to be a drastic departure from those of predecessor Andy Reid, who ran the West Coast offense in Philadelphia. That West Coast offense, combined with a slew of injuries to key players, led to the Eagles to finish 4-12 last season and average just 17.5 points to rank 29th in the league. Kelly was brought in to overhaul the team and from the tone of Celek’s comments, he is doing exactly that. "It's different," Celek said of Kelly's offense. "Things change. And I love what Coach Kelly has brought here so far. I can't say that we're going to be super successful. But from a communication standpoint, it's insane." Kelly’s offense is already in the NFL in a sense, as he previously consulted with New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, who has adopted some of the system’s principles for his own offesnse. Using a variation of Kelly’s system, the Patriots scored a league-high 557 points last season. The Eagles are hoping to do the same……..

- The whole world has a cell phone of some kind, maybe even a tablet and a laptop too, so finding new ways to charge said devices is something that seems like a wise idea. Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign have discovered a breakthrough in charging the batteries for electronic devices, creating a small-but-strong new battery that could make it possible to charge cell phones and other electronic devices in a matter of seconds. Their invention is only a few millimeters in size but possesses enough energy to jump-start a car battery. Lead researcher William King, professor of mechanical science and engineering at the University of Illinois, claims the new microbatteries outpower even the best super capacitors and could lead to new developments in the fields of electronics and radio communications. “This is a whole new way to think about batteries,” King said. “A battery can deliver far more power than anybody every thought. In recent decades, electronics have gotten small. The thinking parts of computers have gotten small. And the battery has lagged far behind.” If this invention does live up to its hype, it could end the days when electronics developers are forced to make a trade off when it comes to choosing which batteries to use in their devices. The new charging method would allow them to choose a battery that dispenses large amounts of energy quickly but also lasts for a long time and recharges quickly. “There’s a sacrifice,” said James Piku, one of the members of the research team, explained in talking about the current state of batteries. “If you want high energy, you can’t get high power; if you want high power it’s very difficult to get high energy.” Microbatteries that offer both energy and power obviously won't come cheap, but as the lines outside Apple stores for the release of every new gadget prove, people will always find money to spend on the next must-have item………

- Don’t make Russian dictator Vladimir Putin angry……you won't like him when he’s angry. No, you’ll love him – or at least watching him as he verbally excoriates his underlings in a video clip leaked by a Russian news agency Wednesday. Putin is the badass former KGB leader who rigs elections and tramples those who date oppose him, but the tough-guy act he puts on wasn’t supposed to be seen in the context it was placed in by Lifenews.ru, an online tabloid that's usually Kremlin-friendly. The edited video was taken at a meeting with Russian cabinet ministers and regional leaders after journalists were ordered to switch off their cameras and it shows Putin verbally abusing officials for their failure to implement his presidential election promises. "How are we working? The quality of work is extremely low," Putin ranted. "If we're going to work like that then we'll achieve [nothing]. If we don’t do this, we will have to admit that either I’m not working effectively, or you all are working badly and you all should leave. I want to draw your attention to the fact that today I am leaning towards the second option." In other words, we look like fools here and I’m certainly not taking the fall here, so enjoy the rest of your life at the Siberian gulag. Putin is a secretive and megalomaniacal dictator who hides his life so well that no one knows where his two adult daughters live and his wife is rarely seen in public. He did show his irate side recently over delays and cost overruns in the preparations for next year's Sochi Winter Games, but Wednesday’s outburst wasn’t supposed to go public – supposedly. Critics have suggested that the supposed leak was intentional even as Putin’s press secretary, Dmitry Peskov, insisted the Kremlin was furious over the leak. "What was published from the closed part of the meeting is outrageous and unacceptable from an ethical point of view," Peskov said. "We plan in the near future to make contact with the leadership of the publication, to ask for an explanation." In other words, we look like fools here and I’m certainly not taking the fall here, so enjoy the rest of your life at the Siberian gulag……..

- Ride the wave of nostalgia, fans of TV shows from a bygone era. “Boy Meets World” is in the process of being spun off into a sequel featruing several of the original show’s stars and now, one of the show ABC paired with “Boy Meets World” has a cast member who is jonesing for a series revival – even if it’s a short-term one. Patrick Duffy, who played Frank Lambert, the patriarch of a blended family he raised with his wife Carol Foster (Suzanne Somers) on the sitcom “Step By Step,” believes that a reunion of the cast could be successful. Duffy suggested that a reunion special could be used to explore what Frank, Carol and their combined six kids are up to these days. "The Step by Step cast was so wonderful to be with," Duffy said. "They were my family and I think a little two-hour special about where these people are — not a documentary, but actually doing a show — seeing where they all come to over the years. It would be so fun to play that goofy Frank Lambert character again, aging another 25 years.” Duffy probably won't find a ton of support for the idea, given that “Step By Step” ran for seven so-so seasons and no one has really been begging for its return the way fans enthusiastically responded to rumors of a “Friends” reunion or the way they’ve gotten on board with the “Boy Meets World” spin-off. Duffy currently plays Bobby Ewing in TNT’s revival of “Dallas,” so maybe the experience has planted the idea in his mind that every show that was once on the air should be again……..

- States across America are hurting financially. Businesses that create jobs are valuable commodities and if those jobs happen to include body slams, chair shots and submission holds, so be it. Florida Gov. Rick Scott knows this to be true and so he happily joined World Wrestling Entertainment officials in Orange County Thursday for a major announcement of a new, state-of-the-art training facility in the Orlando area. The facility will create nearly 100 permanent, high-wage jobs in addition to the construction jobs it creates. Work is expected to begin immediately on the 26,000-square-foot WWE Performance Center, which will include seven rings, a world-class gym and cutting-edge editing and production facilities. The secret steroid room probably won't be announced or included on the blueprints, but it will be there as well – allegedly. The training center will be built on Forsyth Commerce Road and this location will become both a new training ground for rising WWE talent and a central location for the company's talent to receive the best care both in and out of the ring. "This is where we will train the future," said WWE executive vice president Paul Levesque, who also wrestles under the name Triple H. "WWE is proud to call Central Florida home to the new, state-of-the-art WWE Performance Center. The creation of this world-class facility, and our continued partnership with Full Sail University, underscores WWE's commitment to the region and is an investment in our future as we develop the next generation of WWE Superstars.” WWE already has roots in the area, taping its  "NXT" live series at Full Sail University, in Winter Park. Full Sail began hosting "WWE NXT" live events in 2012 and the company’s positive experience in the area led nicely into this new project. WWE also funnels all proceeds from its NXT tapings to a scholarship foundation for Full Sail students. Scott used the occasion to puff out his chest and do some Grade-A political bragging. "Our economy has created nearly 300,000 new private sector jobs in just over two years, meaning that thousands of Florida families now have the opportunity to pursue their dreams," the governor said in a statement, adding that the new facility will inject $2.3 million into the state’s economy. The Sunshine State will get more WWE ties when Orlando hosts WrestleMania in 2015………

Phil Jackson's return, capturing methane gas from cow farts and no "Friends" reunion

- A solution for two of the world’s biggest problems could be imminent. OK, so that might be a slight exaggeration, but when global warming and the world’s energy crisis are both solved by the farts delivered by the world’s bovine population, credit comes in this direction first. In that spirit, let’s all rejoice over the fact that scientists have discovered a new material that can capture and concentrate methane, a potent greenhouse gas. While the always-abundant carbon dioxide can be captured using a variety of techniques, trapping the most abundant greenhouse gas can only take the world so far. That’s what researcher Amitesh Maiti, a researcher at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, and his colleagues went to work on a way to capture methane. Previously, methane has proved elusive primarily because it interacts weakly with other materials, but Maiti and his pals discovered that various forms of zeolites, which are commonly used in water purification and other industrial processes, are effective in this task because their crystalline structure can be fine-tuned for various gas separation or storage applications. The researchers searched through a database of about 100,000 different forms of the material and through numerous computer simulations, they found several that appear technologically promising for capturing methane. However, many of the forms “are theoretical zeolites which in theory can be made, but have not been made yet," Maiti explained. Some of the forms do exist, and Maiti hopes other researchers will draw inspiration from his work and build on it. His team’s simulations indicate that the material could capture low concentrations of methane venting from coal mines or piles of manure at feed lots and concentrate it up to just over 5 percent. That mark represents the flammability limit of the gas and such a use would be helpful in energy creation. "You can utilize (the methane) to generate electricity," Maiti said. Create energy, reduce the amount of greenhouse gas escaping into the atmosphere…….sounds like a smelly win-win………

- Sorry, everyone hoping to see the weird naked guy in the apartment across the way one more time or grab another cup of coffee at Central Perk. There will not be a reunion of the über-popular ‘90s sitcom “Friends.” So says NBC, the network that aired the series from 1994-2004. Rumors of a one-off reunion sparked up online and in short order, fans blew the concept of a Thanksgiving 2014 reunion into hopes for an entire new season of the show. Fans so desperately wanted to believe that the rumors were true that they talked them up and bought in, ramping up the hype to the point that a major Latin American news outlet reported that NBC had confirmed a new full-season order of the sitcom. "Friends" co-creator Marta Kauffman steered clear of the reports for as long as possible, but when it became clear that a lack of actual proof or any basis in reality would not quell the rumors, she stepped forward to officially crush fans’ dreams of a reunion. "I'm going to clear this up -- it's not happening," Kauffman said. “'Friends' was about that time in your life when your friends are your family and once you have a family, there's no need anymore." In other words, the characters have grown up and moved on with their lives and fans need to do the same. NBC has since confirmed Kaufman’s comments and so Joey, Ross, Chandler, Rachel, Monica and Phoebe will have to live on through syndicated cable reruns until everyone who still has any ties or connection to the series and/or free time to sit around and watch an extremely outdated sitcom finds something better to do with their free time………

- One of New Mexico’s most pristine natural areas is quickly turning into a giant trash heap….and the locals in Pesos, N.M. are dumping blame squarely on the U.S. Forest Service. As it turns out, the Santa Fe National Forest recently closed some facilities in the Pecos-Las Vegas Ranger District due to a lack of funding and as part of the cutbacks, officials closed restrooms and took away trashcans at eight day-use sites. Four campgrounds were also closed and will remain so through at least the 2013 camping season. Closing sites and facilities and keeping the public from using them have proven to be two different things and with people comes trash – trash that isn't being cleaned up. Concerned locals have complained that the Forest Service is doing nothing to clean up the increasingly polluted area. Hugh Ley, a member of the Upper Pecos Watershed and Business Associations, says the Pecos-area day-use sites are being overrun with trash and human waste. A local TV station found used toilet paper, empty beer cans, food wrappers and other trash at the Windy Bridge and Lower Dalton sites. Both sites have no trashcans and in their absence, visitors have turned nature into one giant waste bin – crossed with one large, unsanitary outdoor toilet. The Forest Service closed the facilities on April 1 and said at the time it simply did not have the necessary funding to keep them open. "Pumping cost was a major concern for them, and they were going to lock all of the day-use facilities that do not generate revenues,” Ley added. Official USFS policy is that people are supposed to take out their own trash under the “Pack it in, pack it out” philosophy, but anyone who actually hides behind that defense is either lazy or ignorant of how lazy people are – and maybe both. To combat the problem, the Upper Pecos Watershed and Business Associations are now asking the Forest Service to reopen the facilities, but that seems highly unlikely……..

- Debate the NBA’s season-ending awards and likely champion for the just-concluded regular season all you want, but the most interesting subplot as the league begins the playoffs has nothing to do with any team contending for a championship. Instead, all of the disappointing teams that will fire their coaches in the days ahead can now comfort themselves with the dream that they might be able to hire a living, breathing, remarkably arrogant future hall of famer. Yes, Big Chief Triangle was to return to the NBA. Phil Jackson, a man who loves smoking peyote, riding motorcycles and studying Native American mythology while being a million times smarter than everyone in any room he walks into, is reportedly growing e increasingly interested in working in the NBA next season. That may or may not mean a return to coaching for the 67-year-old Jackson, who could be a better fit moving into management for the first time in his career. Sources say that Jackson is eager to return to basketball after a long hiatus since leaving the Los Angeles Lakers' bench following the 2010-11 season. Jackson reportedly turned down an offer from the Brooklyn Nets to coach this season and said in January that he "has no intention of ever coaching again." That won't prevent teams such as the Nets and Cleveland Cavaliers -- who interviewed Jackson in 2005 and are known to be contemplating a coaching change – from testing the waters and seeing if Jackson will listen. It remains to be seen if he would be willing to move to the front office and if any team would entrust him with such power, given that he has never held a prominent NBA personnel job. A collection of 11 championship rings as a coach give Jackson credibility, but his legendary arrogance could push away would-be suitors. A return to the Lakers is unlikely, as the team already has vice president Jim Buss and longtime general manager Mitch Kupchak running the team and Buss dislikes Jackson strongly. Whether he ends up in Cleveland, Brooklyn, with the team currently known as the Sacramento Kings but which is likely moving to Seattle before next season, it would be great to have BCT back in the Association……..

- That’s the way to do it, Egyptian hardline Islamic militant group Magles Shoura al-Mujahddin. If you believe that The Israeli army's attack on protesters demonstrating over the death of a Palestinian prisoner was unjust and must be punished, then the only logical response is to fire off two rockets that kill precisely zero people at a posh Red Sea resort. The Red Sea resort in question, Eliat, was hit by two rockets fired from Egypt’s Sinai peninsula Wednesday, but witnesses on the scene reported no signs of damage or injury. Magles Shoura al-Mujahddin claimed responsibility in a statement on its website and explained that its actions were tied to the Israeli army's attack on Palestinian protesters. Images broadcast on a local television station near the resort showed the casing of the one of the rockets lying in sand at a construction site in the resort city and Israel’s military said the rockets caused neither damage nor injury. The peninsula has been mostly calm over the past decade and was demilitarized during the rule of dictator Hosni Mubarak, but Islamic militants have begun activities in the region since Mubarak was forced from power in the 2011 Arab Spring. Israel, perhaps anticipating an attack like the one unleashed this week, deployed an Iron Dome anti-rocket battery in Eilat some two weeks ago during a span coinciding with the Jewish Passover holiday, when the city at the tip of Gulf of Aqaba is typically filled with vacationers. According to a military spokeswoman, the system did not intercept the incoming missiles on Wednesday for “operational reasons.” A senior military official suggested that Israel was still trying to confirm that the missiles were delivered from Egyptian territories……

How to know when you're a rock star, a $40K martini and livin on Mars

- Waaaaaaiitttt a minute…....the University of Oregon’s football program really did commit major NCAA violations in connection with recruiting? No way. A program that became extremely successful and had a flashy head coach who liked scoring a ton of points while competing for conference championships and who just jumped to the NFL didn’t play by the rules? Of course, Oregon’s drama is not new. In 2010, the NCAA began looking into possible violations following reports about payments Oregon made to recruiting services, including a $25,000 payment to Willie Lyles and Houston-based Complete Scouting Services in 2010. Lyles’ connection to Oregon recruit Lache Seastrunk was curious, as was the fact that Oregon seemed to have paid him $25,000 for video scouting materials it could not show investigators and which weren’t documented. The investigation has marched forward and Oregon now knows it’s in deep sh*t, as evidenced by the fact that it n has acknowledged its violations and proposed a self-imposed two-year probation with the loss of one scholarship in each of the next three years. These not-shocking revelations were made in a summary disposition report included in the documents released Monday and the case is far from over because Oregon and the NCAA have failed to come to an agreement on the matter. The case will go before the infractions committee at some point this year, but until then everyone can feel better because Oregon's athletic department issued a statement that said: "The review is ongoing until the NCAA Committee on Infractions issues its final report. The integrity of the process and our continued full cooperation with the NCAA prohibits us from publicly discussing the specifics of this matter." The university continues to insist that the violations were not intentional in nature, but even if they are, the man largely responsible for them is long gone. Chip Kelly is now the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. He exited Eugene with a 46-7 record with appearances in four straight BCS bowl games and even if the Ducks are hammered with NCAA sanctions, he won't be affected………

- There are many ways to react to the result of an election, but the most dramatic is undoubtedly happening right now in Venezuela. As the South American nation moves forward sans the late despot Hugo Chavez and his handpicked successor has emerged as the apparent victor, those who were looking for a shift in philosophy at the top haven't taken it well. A day after election authorities proclaimed Nicolas Maduro to be the winner of the election to replace his mentor, at least seven people were killed and 61 were injured in post-election violence across Venezuela. So far, authorities have arrested 135 people in connection with political violence and candidate Henrique Capriles Radonski’s followers are staunchly behind his demand for a recount after Maduro secured 50.8 percent of votes in Sunday's election, while Radonski was credited with 49 percent. According to the government, the violence boils down to aggression by Radonski’s supporters against the followers of the President-elect, with government health clinics, food distribution centers, a bank and a preschool program the targets of violence. It’s worth noting that the reports of violence have not been independently confirmed and could well be the work product of a conniving regime seeking to maintain its grasp on power. To keep up plausible deniability in any attacks, both Capriles and Maduro have publicly urged supporters to remain peaceful in reacting to the election results. They have alternated those pleas with accusations of violence against one another, simultaneously provoking more unrest. Capriles has also called for a recount and Maduro has responded by promising to use an iron fist to crack down on any attempts to unseat him from the presidency. In other words, it’s as if Chavez never left. Capriles’ complaints center on problems with voting machines, inconsistencies in tallies reported by voting centers and reports that opposition witnesses were forced out of hundreds of polls. He also insisted that anyone who takes to the streets Wednesday as part of previously schedule protests is not affiliated with his campaign. "The government wants there to be deaths in the country," he said. As it turns out, there already have been……..

- Hey there. Have you had enough of Earth and are you longing to shoot yourself out into space, never to return and very probably to never be heard from again? Your chance has come…..just as soon as 2023 gets here. That’s when Mars One, the private company that hopes to land a person on the surface of the red planet by that particular year, is planning to make history. Those who want in on this fool’s mission will begin their journey this summer, when the application process for aspiring astronauts who hope to be the first human beings to set foot on Mars begins. Mars One will throw open its virtual doors and begin accepting videos made by prospective astronauts along with a small application fee that will serve to bilk them out of their hard-earned money, er, fund the Mars colonization project. "We expect a million applications with 1-minute videos, and hopefully some of those videos will go viral,” Bas Lansdorp, Mars One co-founder and chief executive officer. Those interested in moving to Mars will need to be fairly sure about leaving Earth, as here are no current plans for a return journey from Mars. The 24 saps who make this commitment will be counted on to establish a permanent Martian colony. Not surprisingly in a world full of kooks, 45,000 people have registered on the company’s mailing list and 10,000 would-be astronauts have expressed a desire to apply. Of course, there is a chance that a maximum application fee will of just $25 will prevent Mars One from reaching its funding goal, seeing as the company estimates that it will cost a whopping $6 billion to send the first four astronauts to the red planet. How will it make up for that shortfall? By pimping out it its application, selection, and training phases as reality television offerings. “We can prove to the broadcasters that there is real demand and interest, and we will start negotiations after the [astronaut] selection procedure begins,” Lansdorp added. In its website listing for the program, Mars One included resiliency, adaptability, curiosity, ability to trust, and creativity/resourcefulness as the six most important qualities for an applicant. “The applicant must be free from any disease, any dependency on drugs, alcohol or tobacco, must have the normal range of motion and functionality in all joints, visual acuity in both eyes of 100% (20/20) either uncorrected or corrected with lenses or contact lenses, free from any psychiatric disorders,” the website adds. Act now, as space is limited……..

- Do rich people still enjoy paying ridiculous amounts of money for sh*t they don’t need merely so they can say that they did? Well……are 400-thread-count sheets made of Egyptian cotton still the only way to sleep in luxury? The White Barn Inn restaurant in Kennebunk, Me. knows this and it’s why the eatery is celebrating its 40th anniversary by introducing a limited-edition, $40,000 cocktail. What makes a simple alcoholic beverage worth $40,000? Trick question. The answer is nothing because there isn't a cocktail in the world worth $40,000, but the White Barn Inn is artificially inflating the value of its offering by adding Hanger One Vodka, St. Germain Elderflower, fresh squeezed grapefruit juice, pomegranate, a spoonful of rose water……..and a four-carat ruby. That’s right, they are dropping an actual gemstone into the drink and that’s supposed to make it exclusive and incredibly desirable. Now, if a person wants to enjoy all of the above ingredients sans the ruby and the resulting $40,000 price tag, they can take a sip of this martini for a mere $18 – still overpriced, but slightly less so. This shameless publicity stunt masquerading as a  $40,000 cocktail will be available in June through the end of the year. The real catch here is that in order to drink a $40,000 cocktail, a person must first figure out where the heck Kennebunk, Maine is and figure out a justifiable reason to go there…….

- There are a few ways a rock star can tell when they’ve really made it. Waking up pants-less in the Playboy mansion after a night DJing for Hugh Hefner and his pals of the porn model variety is one of those ways and it’s already happened to Bloc Party frontman Kele Okereke. Okereke and his bandmates released one of 2012’s best albums, “Four,” but his great night that turned into a great morning at the Playboy mansion came during his DJ days. He was asked about his wildest nights ever as a rock star and when the discussion turned to the strangest place he had ever woken up, he conceded that it was without underpants on a piano owned by Hugh Hefner the morning after a big party. "A basketball court in Philadelphia. That was pretty strange. A skip. A jail cell," he said before arriving at the right answer. "The Playboy mansion, that was a strange night. I was DJing somewhere in the States and a bunch of playmates came and partied with us. Nothing naughty happened but I did wake up on top of a piano and I wasn't wearing any underwear. I had a shirt on and my shoes but my jeans were on the floor. I think I had been to the toilet and forgotten to put them back on." Nothing naughty? Does anyone hang out with Playboy playmates for any other reason? They’re not exactly renowned for their intellectual conversations and intense philosophical debates and they’re not called Mensa’s Scholarly Ladies of the Month. Bloc Party is currently on the road promoting “Four,” so Okereke’s next party with the ladies of Playboy will have to wait for now……

Tunisia cashes in, Daft Punk confuses and Nerlens Noel moves on

- Drug dealers need someone to look up to just like everyone else. When one’s business is peddling heroin, cocaine, marijuana, Ecstasy and the like to the masses and competition is fierce in what can accurately be described as a deadly enterprise, having a role model or protector can do wonders for the soul. According to authorities with the Department of Homeland Security, drug dealers in New Mexico have found their patron saint and his name is La Santa Muerte. Yes, “the Saint of Death.” He does happen to look a lot like the Grim Reaper, but for many people of Mexican heritage, this folk saint can be a miracle worker. Believers say the skeletal icon brings prosperity and can ward off evil spirits and perhaps that’s why shrines for the saint are showing up in drug dens throughout New Mexico. Kevin Abar of the Department of Homeland Security Investigations unit said La Santa Muerte "has become a narco patron saint." DHS officers have found that cartels believe La Santa Muerte protects them from law enforcement, military and from other drug cartel members – well, that and a lot of big, powerful guns that they use to kill anyone who stands in their way. DHS officers who have found such shrines say the displays usually include sacrifices, which can include money, lines of cocaine or blood that they give to the patron saint. However, the DHS wants everyone to know that there are many in the Hispanic community who believe in the patron and are not involved in illegal activity. "There’s a lot of good people, hard working people, that believe in this saint as well," Abar said. "A lot of the working class individuals believe in the patron saint. They believe it will bring them prosperity and more money." Yes, but will it bring them protection from the cartel threatening to kill them unless they agree to run drugs across the border……….

- This is a curious stop in Google’s quest for world domination. Google executive chairman Eric Schmidt should be all about supporting technology is just about any form, but he took a curious detour in a recent interview in which he claimed domestic drones pose a threat to personal privacy. Schmidt drew the uncalled for example of a peeping neighbor in trying to explain the privacy infringements that the flying cameras could allow. "You're having a dispute with your neighbor," Schmidt said. "How would you feel if your neighbor went over and bought a commercial observation drone that they can launch from their back yard. It just flies over your house all day. How would you feel about it?" Umm, you would feel fine…once you shot that mo-fo down. If a neighbor has a drone and it invades your airspace, then anti-aircraft measures are the natural response. Schmidt’s thoughts aside, privacy rights activists and early users of civilian drones remain at odds over the private use of unmanned aircraft. Officials in Seattle explored plans to use drones over its downtown area for security purposes, but the resulting uproar led to the project being scuttled before it began. Presently, small drones can be purchased and flown by people in the U.S. for private, non-commercial activities without special approval from the FAA. All a person must do is abide by the FAA's guidelines for model aircraft operation. Those rules include not flying the drones out of range of sight, staying below 400 feet and steering clear of places such as hospitals or schools where the noise could cause a disturbance. Schmidt also lumped weaponized drones in with the rest of his argument, saying, "I'm not going to pass judgment on whether armies should exist, but I would prefer to not spread and democratize the ability to fight war to every single human being.” One of his fears seems to be drones falling into the wrong hands, which could definitely cause problems in suburbia, where neighbor-on-neighbor crime is a real and pressing problem……..

- Nerlens Noel took a chance once. He won't be taking another one with his basketball future. The Kentucky All-American forward and No. 1 NBA draft prospect did what the NBA mandates of graduating high school seniors, namely wait a year before entering the its amateur draft. He went the normal route of playing college basketball and that earned him a truncated season in which he sustained a season-ending knee injury on Feb. 12. In his one shortened season of college basketball, he led the nation with 4.4 blocks per game and averaged 10.5 points and 9.5 rebounds. With his ACL still healing and his health a question mark, Noel has announced that he feels he's "ready to take the next step to the NBA." He will turn professional as he continues recovering from that torn ACL. The 6-foot-10 forward earned Southeastern Conference defensive player of the year honors, along with first team all-conference and freshman team selection, and hopes his defensive-led game will translate into being the top pick in June’s draft. "I've learned so much here at UK and am thankful for Coach (John) Calipari, the staff and my teammates for all of their support," Noel said in a statement. "I especially appreciate the Big Blue Nation and all of the support, prayers and well-wishes I've received from them during my rehab and decision-making process. I'll always be a Wildcat!" He is seeking to follow the path walked last year by a player he has regularly been compared to, o Kentucky All-American Anthony Davis, now in the NBA after leading the Wildcats to a national championship as a freshman. Most draft experts rank Noel as the top prospect in the draft and his college coach did exactly what the man best known for recruiting one-and-done prospects who blow right through a college campus on their way to the NBA should do in this situation – fully support the move. expected decision to leave for the pros. "I support Nerlens' decision to enter his name in the draft and am excited for him and his future," Kentuckt coach John Calipari said in a statement. "The hard work and will to win he showed on the floor this year and the dedication and attitude he has shown in his rehab will only be a reward for him and whatever team drafts him in June." Yes, and Noel will always have that less than one year he spent in Lexington to treasure……

 

- Daft Punk’s new album will be….something. The French duo's new release Random Access Memories” is highly anticipated and if you’re able to decode the bizarre praise bestowed on the effort by Daft Punk’s producer and collaborator Pharrell Williams, the album sounds great – probably. Williams explained that he "met the robots at a Madonna party and they were just like, 'We're doing something.’ I said, 'Whatever you guys need, I'll do it. I'll play tambourine.' It feels like the only click-track they have is the human heart beat and that makes it really interesting because these are robots,” Williams said. He was then asked what the ideal setting is for a person to have their first listen to “Random Access Memories” and replied: "In a car, pulled up to the beach with my girl. Just let it play. This music is beyond 3D, it's 4D. You don't need MDMA to enjoy this music.” The MDMA reference was a poorly chosen link to Madonna’s awful most-recent album and if Daft Punk’s latest is anything like it, it will be an abysmal failure. A trailer previewing Williams' collaboration with Daft Punk and Nile Rogers, titled “Get Lucky,” was shown at Coachella Festival in California over the weekend. Williams is one of many collaborators for Daft Punk on the album, due out May 20. The duo have also pulled in synth pioneer Giorgio Moroder, Todd Edwards, Panda Bear and Chilly Gonzales for roles on the release and Edwards’ description of the effort is nearly as odd as Williams’ breakdown. "They reversed gears and went back to a time that no one's really focused on. They're fulfilling their vision on all levels,” Edwards added. All right, then……..

- Tunisia had itself quite a weekend. Like any angry debtor looking to collect what they’re owed by the deadbeat who won't pay them back, the African nation has been working hard to recover what it calls looted assets held abroad by ousted President Zine Abidine Ben Ali and his family. Those efforts paid off for the first time late last week when its government received $28.8 million in assets from their ousted leader. State media reported that a check in that amount had been handed to President Moncef Marzouki by Ali bin Fetais Marri, the middle man appointed by the United Nations to head efforts to recover money from leaders overthrown in Arab uprisings. Marri, Qatar's attorney general, has held his sweet gig as UN Special Advocate for Stolen Asset Recovery since September, so it’s about time he started showing some results. The money was reportedly returned to Tunisia from a Lebanese bank account belonging to Laila Trabelsi, the wife of Ben Ali, who fled to Saudi Arabia with his family on Jan. 14, 2011 when a wave of angry citizen uprisings forced him from office. No self-respecting despot leaves at the end of a 23-year reign without stealing something, so of course Ben Ali fled with (allegedly) billions of dollars. Much of that money remains unaccounted for and the odds that it will all be returned seem low given that the exact amount is not known. The country’s Islamist-led government is currently neck-deep in economic sh*t, so every little bit helps at this point. Its leaders remain under intense pressure to recover the money while lacking the necessary clout to do so. While it waits, an International Monetary Fund team arrived in Tunis late last week to discuss a $1.78 billion loan requested by the government…….

Jadeveon Clowney scores, tour guide v. Everglades python and badass French mobsters

- A$AP Rocky says he is looking to pioneer new territory with his next album – by not saying a word. The rapperr revealed in a radio interview that he is working on his next album and described it as an “instrumental” project. He suggested that he would not contribute any vocals on the project, but said he had been working on making his own beats for the record and was planning on releasing it without any fanfare. "I'm working on an instrumental album right now," he said. "I'm doing all my own beats. It's going to be interesting to see how people react towards my production. I'm going to put it out, I'm not even going to announce it. Just drop it." Saying those things and actually following through on them are two very different things and his label will undoubtedly have something to say in the matter, but for now A$AP Rocky is electing to keep his plans vague. When asked about the release date for the project, he cryptically replied: "Sometime soon." If the new album is indeed fully instrumental, that means it won't have anything to say about a certain controversial hip-hop topic that he weighed in on last month. Speaking on the topic of gay rappers and Snoop Dogg/Lion’s comments that a gay rapper likely would not be accepted within the genre, A$AP Rocky said it is "crazy" that criticism of gay rappers is seen as an issue. He has gone on the record saying that homophobia in hip-hop needs to end. "For instance, one big issue in hip-hop is the gay thing. It’s 2013, and it's a shame that, to this day, that topic still gets people all excited. It's crazy,” he said. “It makes me upset that this topic even matters when it comes to hip-hop, because it makes it seem like everybody in hip-hop is small-minded or stupid — and that's not the case." A$AP Rocky released his latest album, “Long.Live.A$AP,” on Jan. 14 and that release did have lyrics and vocals……….

- The world didn’t end in November, but science insists that the Mayans weren't wrong about everything. Pennsylvania State University archaeologist Douglas Kennett and his team of researchers have been working to gain a better grasp on all the angles of the Mayan calendar. They used modern methods to double-check the match between the Mayan Long Count calendar and the modern European calendar to probe the theory that climate change spelled the Mayans’ doom. Matching carved Maya historical records with dates in the modern calendar is a complicated task, as the Long Count calendar is essentially a cyclical count of days, known as k'in. The k'in are counted in 20-day cycles called winal or uinal, which in turn are catalogd in 360-day cycles called tuns, with 20 tuns comprising a 7,200-day k'atun (about 20 years). Twenty k'atuns then make a b'ak'tun, which is 144,000 days long, representing a little less than 400 years. The ending of one of these b'ak'tuns was used to predict the end of the world on Nov. 21, 2012. However, this particular base-20 Long Count calendar fell into disuse in the Maya empire before Spanish explorers arrived in South and Central America in the 1500s and there is a dearth of historical records that can be used to link the Long Count with European methods of tracking time. A researcher named Joseph Goodman proposed a conversion formula in 1905, eventually renamed the Goodman-Martinez-Thompson (GMT) correlation. University of Pennsylvania researchers used radiocarbon dating on two wooden lintels from Tikal, Guatemala, a major Maya city, in 1960 and their findings seemed to confirm the GMT correlation. Kennett and his team doubled back on the topic using modern technology and were surprised at what they found. "When looking at how climate affects the rise and fall of the Maya, I began to question how accurately the two calendars correlated using those methods," Kennett said. His team’s analysis pegged the lintel's carving at around A.D. 658-696, an overlap that backs up the original GMT correlation estimates. "These events and those recorded at cities throughout the Maya lowlands can now be harmonized with greater assurance to other environmental, climatic and archaeological datasets," the researchers wrote……..

- Tour guides can be über-annoying. They talk for a living, tell corny jokes and are always looking for tips. Everglades Adventure Tours guide Tommy Owen is exempt from that line of thought in light of his act last week. Owen was taking a group on a boat tour of the famous South Florida swamplands when their boat encountered a 10-foot python. The tourists had a front row seat as their guide jumped out of the boat and started wrestling one of nature’s most dangerous species. "I grew up here, so this is pretty standard for the most part," Owen said. The family he was guiding at the time caught the entire incident on video as Owen wrestled and subdued the massive python. "I didn't even realize it was 10 feet - definitely thought it was over 6 feet - definitely bigger than me. I didn't realize it was three times the size of my arm," Owen continued. Asked why he would get out of the safety of the boat and go on the offensive against a snake that could kill him, Owen was nonplussed. "They don't belong here and that was literally running through my head," he said. "I just launched on it essentially, ambushed it like any other predator out here and just got it - had the best grip on it and never let go the entire tussle." He won the battle using a few ferocious minutes of what he calls "snake jujitsu" and got the snake to a point where his fellow tour guide could kill it.             The other guide, took the shot when Owen exposed the animal’s neck, slicing the beast with his knife for the kill shot. Of course, a few weeks back, media members, politicians and general kooks hit the Everglades to hunt pythons and attempt to rid South Florida of them. Maybe the powers that be should have simply sent Tommy Owen and his machete out to take care of the problem…….

- Is there such a thing as a badass French gangster? That question may have found its answer in the form of Redoine Faid, who has etched his name on the list of the most wanted criminals in the world after a daring prison break from a detention center in the northern city of Lille on Saturday. Faid, who patterned his own criminal career after his favorite big-screen criminals – going so far as to wear a hockey mask like Robert DeNiro's character in "Heat" – and pulled off daring attacks on armored trucks, is free after holding five people, including four guards, at gunpoint and escaping. According to prison officials, he detonated his way to freedom by setting off explosives to destroy five doors. To the cynic, it might appear that all of this means Faid was lying when he said that more than a decade in prison had led him to leave his evil ways behind. Of course, if that were true then he wouldn’t have ended up back in prison in 2011, one year after his autobiography containing that audacious claim was published. Going back to prison didn’t seem to be on his life plan and hence, his escape making him the subject of an international manhunt. No one is sure where he is, but French Justice Minister Christiane Taubira said Saturday that a European arrest warrant covering 26 countries has been issued and Interpol is also working to track Faid down. Faid's lawyer, Jean-Louis Pelletier, was to meet his client in preparation of an upcoming trial tied to a May 2010 attack in Villiers-sur-Marne, east of Paris, in which a policewoman was killed. "He is remarkably intelligent, and he is using his intellect to serve his ambitions," Pelletier said after the escape. "(And Faid) cannot stand being imprisoned anymore." If his past is any indication, Faid could literally be anywhere. In 1998, he was captured after three years on the run that included time spent living in Switzerland. After that arrest, he spent more than 10 years in high-security prisons around France before being released, writing his book and becoming something of a celebrity. While the manhunt continues, questions linger in the wake of Faid’s escape, namely how an inmate got his hands on guns and explosives and how he was able to use those devices to force his way out of the prison, delivering a healthy dose of street cred to French gangsters in the process………

- All-American defensive end Jadeveon Clowney doesn’t seem like he’s considering sitting out his junior season or concerned about his health in a sense of protecting his status as the presumed No. 1 pick in the 2014 NFL draft. Clowney, whose football future has been the subject of much debate because he won't be eligible for the draft until next year but would be the top pick this year if he could leave school now, may be sitting out spring practice as he recovers from a concussion, but he still showed up on the field at South Carolina’s spring game on Saturday – sort of. Ever irascible Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier had Clowney run his patented annual pass-to-someone-coming-off-the-sideline play late in the spring game. Clowney, wearing sneakers, shorts and no pads, found his way onto the field and caught a pass from freshman Connor Mitch. He slipped to the ground before he could reach the end zone, which should have ended the play, but the referee "missed" him hitting the ground and Clowney raced into the end zone for the touchdown. He fired the ball into the stands after the 54-yard touchdown, the perfect punctuation mark for Spurrier’s laid-back approach to the spring game wherever he has coached. With no real rosters, players can line up for both sides and the Ol’ Ball Coach boosts scoring by having bonus kicks with just a snapper and holder after each quarter and not allowing defenses to blitz. "Spring practice is important for the younger guys. I guess one reason I don't get all fired up for spring practice is I only went through one of them in my three years of them at Florida. I got hurt the other two -- nothing serious," Spurrier said, referring to his playing career with the Gators in the mid-1960s. Whether the Gamecocks improve on back-to-back 11-win seasons and contend for a Southeastern Conference title and national championship in 2013 depends largely on Clowney being the most dominant defensive force in college football again next season. His crushing hit on Michigan's Vincent Smith in the Outback Bowl should serve as a nice reminder of his abilities for South Carolina fans until next season rolls around………