Rabid beavers, the futility of hunger strikes and bankrupt baseball teams

- Fasting and hunger strikes are generally a huge disappointment. They start off well, with promises and threats of not eating until the target of the strike does or stops doing what the hunger striker wants. Inevitably, the strike fizzles out because the public loses interest, the cause becomes a moot point or the hunger striker caves in. We’ll have to wait and see if the same thing happens to swami Baba Ramdev, one of India's most popular yoga gurus, as he leads his followers in what is being called a fast to the death as part of a populist campaign to fight corruption. Ramdev kicked off his fast in front of thousands of supporters in New Delhi Saturday and from the start, he was talking a big game and promising India would be saved. With soaring rhetoric, he told them "nothing is impossible" and vowed they would not be defeated. Among the swami’s demands are a return of so-called black money, cash stashed in foreign bank accounts and used to pay bribes, and the execution of corrupt government officials. It seems decidedly un-swami-like to demand anyone’s execution, but that’s not Ramdev’s only problem. His critics claim he has ties to right-wing Hindu groups and question his sincerity. They allege he lives a lavish lifestyle with money from his multi-million dollar business ventures and might not be the most qualified person to criticize anyone else for their financial dealings and habits. Yet his claims and pleas to end rampant corruption seem to be resonating in a country still reeling from a $39 billion telecom scandal and a scandal-plagued Commonwealth Games event that led to some of the country’s ministers going to jail. Perhaps lending credence to just how much influence Ramdev wields amongst the Indian people, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh sent four government ministers to meet with Ramdev Saturday in an attempt to stop his protest. Ramdev refused to divulge what was said during the meeting but reassured his supporters he would not be deterred. Many of his supporters joined in mass fasting Saturday in Mumbai and other states across India. Now, to wait and see how long all of this will last…………


- While his focus may be slightly off, XL Recordings boss Richard Russell is at least attacking the right target - sort of. Russell is angry over what he has labeled the rise of "faux porn" in the promotion of female artists in pop music. In a perfect world, we would all be fighting against the menace of mainstream pop, but I’ll settle for a major label executive blasting the manner in which the thin-voiced, musically clueless, lyrically deficient female pop stars like Britney Spears and her ilk are promoted. Russell went so far as to say the idea a new female pop star could be successful without being over-sexualized in promoting her work was "unbelievable" and that this problem had led to music that "boring, crass and unoriginal." On that last point, he could not be more spot-on. Pop music is boring, it is crass and it is unoriginal. It has much to do with labels wanting to crank out identical-sounding pop garbage they know will sell to a musically clueless public that can be swayed be well-produced music videos, pretty packaging and skanked-up songstresses auto-tuned to sound passable on the radio. No one wants anything too far outside that box because there is no guarantee that the musically oblivious masses will recognize something that is good while also being drastically different than anything they’ve heard before. But according to Russell, this problem extends "way beyond" the music industry. He cited an MTV show he watched recently featuring the top ten hits from female pop stars and said he was shocked at "the faux porn imagery." That part of his argument falls flat and is completely implausible for one simple reason: Everyone knows MTV doesn’t show air any actual music. Their forte is tacky reality shows about GTL-ing losers, teen moms and hot college kids living in tricked-out houses having their lives filmed for a couple months. Music no longer has anything to do with Music Television, for better or worse. Still, Russell has some solid points…………


- Why so picky, Microsoft? You do understand that you make the world’s worst operating system, right? Until you step your game up, maybe you should back off demands that chipmakers that want to use the next version of Windows for tablets work with no more than one computer manufacturer. Multiple sources have confirmed the request and also that chipmakers and computer makers that agree to the terms will get incentives from Microsoft in exchange for accepting the restrictions. In other words, buying people off to get what you want. The new arrangement hasn’t officially been made public, but that doesn’t change the reality that Steve Ballmer and Co. are looking to restrict a single chipmaker to one tablet design. The reasoning behind the decision is expediting the delivery of new Windows tablets by keeping tighter control over partners and accelerating development and testing. The fact that any desktop, laptop, tablet or smartphone running a Windows-based system is going to suck abysmally seems to be left out of this line of thinking, so maybe Microsoft needs to be reminded. Ultimately, the program isn’t mandatory. Still, the restrictions may impede chip- and computer makers from building a more diverse collection of Windows-based models to compete with Apple’s iPad. Previously, chipmakers working with Windows software were allowed to partner with multiple computer manufacturers. Asked about the rumored arrangement of restriction, Microsoft gave the typical corporate-speak response. “Microsoft is still in the development process on the next version of Windows, continuing the engineering work with our silicon partners as part of the technology preview we talked about in January,” the company said in an e-mailed statement. “We continue to talk regularly with hardware partners around the world as part of our development process.” Blah, blah, blah…………


- The NFL and NBA are both locked into intense labor battles right now, with the NFL in the midst of a long lockout and the NBA apparently headed that way by the end of the month, but Major League Baseball is having plenty of its own economic issues. MLB’s own labor agreement is set to expire at the end of the year and if a report published in the Los Angeles Times is true, major financial woes for as many as nine teams should provide a colorful backdrop for labor negotiations. The struggles of the Los Angeles Dodgers - frantically borrowing money from sponsors just to meet payroll every two weeks - and the New York Mets - hemorrhaging money and seeking ways to pay the $1 billion being sought from them by a bankruptcy trustee representing Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme victims - are well-documented. But according to this new report, as many as seven other major league teams, including the Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago Cubs and Texas Rangers, are not in compliance with MLB rules regarding debt. Anonymous sources confirmed the matter was discussed during a briefing presented at last month's owners meetings and that the teams are in violation of a rule concerning debt-service rules intended to limit a club's debt to 10 times its annual revenue. Other teams named in the owners' briefing were the Baltimore Orioles, Detroit Tigers, Florida Marlins and Washington Nationals. Like the NFL, which is struggling with its players on how to split $9 billion in annual revenues, MLB is having its own issues even though the league rakes in a combined $7 billion annually, a revenue stream that has doubled in eight years. Commissioner Bud Selig has frequently referred to the sport’s current era as a "golden age," which makes any thoughtful observer question how so many teams, in both large and small markets, can be struggling so mightily. "I have no concerns, nor does anybody in baseball and all the financial people [we deal with]," Selig said. "Nor, for that matter, am I concerned with the overall health of the industry. It is in very good shape. You can't judge anything by looking at this snapshot in time.” So by looking at the facts of a situation, one isn't able to judge anything? Couldn’t that be the very sort of logic that has baseball in such a precarious position in the first place? With so many gray areas in the way teams' finances are reported, sketchy financial behavior is bound to abound. One team could account for its facility debt one way, while another club may file it under a completely different financial accounting category. Baseball’s debt rules are far too unspecific in regards to how the commissioner's office should enforce them, with possible options including ordering a team to raise equity, requiring expenditures to be approved by MLB in advance and suspending a team's owner. MLB officials predictably refused comment on the report, but remaining in denial and fixing your problems tend to be mutually exclusive entities………….


- World, beware! Rabid beavers are once again on the attack and we all need to be alert and focused. One especially belligerent beaver attacked three people this week in a park in northeast Philadelphia. Yes, you read that right: urban attack beavers. The beaver was later killed and tested positive for rabies, according to results released by the Pennsylvania Game Commission on Friday afternoon. All three attacks occurred during a 48-hour period on June 1 and June 2 in the Pennypack Creek area. The attacks led the PGC to warn park visitors to stay away from the Pennypack Creek waterfront area between Bustleton Avenue and Roosevelt Boulevard in northeast Philadelphia until further notice. Here is the PGC’s account of the attacks: “On June 1, a husband and wife were fishing in the Bustleton Avenue area when a large beaver bit the woman’s leg. As her husband attempted to assist her, the beaver turned and bit him in both arms and chest area. (Wildlife Commission Officer Jerry) Czech responded to the hospital and interviewed the two victims.
 On June 2, in the area of Roosevelt Boulevard, a small child was bitten by a beaver. While at the hospital to interview the victim’s family, WCO Czech received word that a Fairmount Park Ranger had captured a beaver 500 yards from where the child was bitten. WCO Czech responded to the scene and put the animal down." Taken by themselves, these attacks may not be alarming enough to spur the average person to action. However, couple them with an unprovoked attack on a local fisherman by a beaver in late April in the White Clay Creek area of Chester County and the picture becomes clearer. In that incident, the fisherman heard a splash behind him and turned to see a beaver swimming toward him. The cantankerous critter bit him on the back of his leg and came back for more when the fisherman responded and was able to drown the animal despite sustaining another bite on his hand. That beaver was also tested positive for rabies and now, PGC officials are encouraging residents seeing beavers or other mammals acting in a suspicious manner to report that information to the agency’s Southeast Region Office or local law enforcement. Just because the last human rabies fatality in Pennsylvania was a 12‑year‑old Lycoming County boy who died in 1984 doesn’t mean the problem isn't real. Beware, Pennsylvania residents…………

Defacing Palin, skydiving to Dayton and inciting riots in Lebanon

- The pertinent question with cantankerous Beady Eye and former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher is whether he has an infinite supply of “bitter a-hole” or if he’s going to run of out bile to spew if he continues at his current pace. He seems ready and willing to light up anyone and everyone who crosses his path of consciousness, whether he knows them, has a direct link to them or has never met them. Much of his rage has been directed at his former Oasis bandmates, especially brother Noel, but he has also taken to lighting up other artists both past and present, saying his new band will be producing songs better than the Beatles. In his most recent interview, this one with a British newspaper, Gallagher’s target was folk legend and pop icon Bob Dylan, a man often criticized for his gravelly vocal stylings but almost universally renowned as a great songwriter, storyteller and artist. Liam Gallagher seems to feel none of those things about Dylan, otherwise he would not be lighting him up as a “miserable c________ (rhymes with bunt).” When asked if he had celebrated Dylan's 70th birthday last month (probably a silly question just to throw at someone because they are a musician, but there’s still no need for an a-hole response), Gallagher responded by saying: "I know all about him and that, but he’s a bit of a miserable c**t as far as I’m concerned. I like that tune he did 'Lay Lady Lay'. People go nuts for him, but he doesn’t really do it for me." Well hey, if he doesn’t “do it’ for you, then maybe the rest of us should revise our opinion on Dylan accordingly. But Gallagher didn’t limit his anger to Dylan and found an extra dose to hurl like a monkey projecting his waste and zoo visitors standing in front of his cage, ripping acts from the 1960s and 1970s making comebacks at the summer festivals this year. "All those fuckers playing their greatest hits are sh*tbags," he fumed. Go ahead and assume that sh*tbags is code for, “More people want to hear them than want to hear my crappy new band and our poppy, top 40 tunes that sound like a lite-beer version of the much-better band I used to be in before my immense ego played a key role in ruining it.” Stay bitter Liam, stay bitter…………


- Well done, New York, well done. Why previous stops on Sarah Palin’s “One Nation” bus tour couldn’t get the job done, I don’t know, but leave it to New Yorkers to do the right thing and tag Palin’s bus with some well-reasoned, accurate graffiti. Although it wasn’t spray-painted on the way it should have been (when opportunity strikes, a can of spray paint may not always be handy and a hardware story may not always be nearby), someone hit Palin’s expensive, luxurious tour bus with a handwritten sign reading "I, the media whore," to express the widely held opinion that Palin is a bit too fond of herself getting time in front of cameras and is pimping out what is supposedly a family vacation to historical sites along the East Coast so she can generate publicity ahead of a (sure-to-fail) presidential run. Whoever the great American was who graffiti-ed the bus, he or she did so not long after Palin hit up a chain pizza shop in Times Square and paid visits to such treasured landmarks like Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. Starstruck New Yorkers inexplicably greeted a woman most of them will never vote for with handshakes and smiles, but at least one local wasn’t down with the Palin Media Whore Tour and that person made his or her voice heard while Palin and her crew met with top executives at FOX News headquarters in Midtown. As with anything remotely interesting these days, the sign went worldwide quickly, as photos of it soon appeared on social media side Rumproast within a few hours of the sign being posted. Unfortunately, Palin never got the chance to see the sign on the side of the bus herself, as it remained in its posted position for about 15 minutes before being removed by a Palin aide. Of course, the former Alaska governor (before she quit) could end this sort of vitriol if she would merely come clean and admit she will run for president next year. At that point, the world can stop hating her for being a media whore and begin hating her because she’s vapid, clueless, flighty and has none of the skills she would need to successfully lead a world power…………


- As if relationships and especially marriages weren’t already difficult enough, researchers at Umea University in Sweden have piled on with a study suggesting that a 45-minute commute each way increases the likelihood of a breakup by 40 percent. Social geographer (apparently what we’re calling sociologists these days) Erika Sandow and her team examined the habits of 2 million couples over 10 years and concluded that the social costs of work travel may outweigh the monetary gains. With longer travel times, researchers for a myriad of issues that could arise for a couple: one partner getting saddled with greater family or household duties, lack of time spent together and fatigue among them. There is always the possibility that the couple wasn’t meant to be together in the first place, but that’s not really possible to measure in a scientific setting. There also seemed to be a benchmark of sorts at the one-year point in a relationship. Sandow and Co. found that those who managed longer commutes and made it through one year tended to have relatively normal breakup rates. Even so, there’s no denying the strain a long commute each day places on a person and by association, their personal relationships. Whether the commute is by train, car, subway or another method, traversing a long route from home to work and back again is bound to be frustrating more often than not. Traffic jams, late trains and ass-hatted fellow travelers add to the stress level and one recent study suggested long commutes contribute to obesity, neck pain, loneliness, stress, insomnia and a general reduction of happiness. The same study found that so-called “extreme commuters” who commute 90 minutes or more each way daily spend 164 billion minutes every year traveling between work and home. For that effort, they just might be rewarded with a broken relationship with their significant other than they don’t have the time or energy to fix…………


- Auto racing still isn't a sport, but that doesn’t mean what NASCAR Sprint Cup driver Brian Vickers dropped did Wednesday wasn’t cool. Vickers decided to drop in on a place he knows well - literally - but becoming the first driver in series history to parachute into the Daytona International Speedway. A veteran skydiver of four years, Vickers parachuted in as a promotional kickoff for the July 2 Coke Zero 400. His effort may not have been a work of skydiving beauty, but he did manage to not impale himself on anything and rumbled to a rough stop on the grass in the speedway's tri-oval after his first jump in the rain that started from about 5,000 feet above the track. "It's not the first time someone has barreled rolled through the front stretch at Daytona," he joked. "The only problem is sticking the landing when you're sliding through the water, the mud and grass." Vickers estimates that he has recorded between 70 and 75 jumps and planned to attempt the leap last year before medical problems derailed him. He was diagnosed in May with a hole in his heart and blood clots down his left leg and underwent heart surgery in July repaired the hole. The surgery was successful, but it also brought additional bad news as he was diagnosed with May-Thurners syndrome, which caused the clots. He went right back under the knife for the blood clots the next day and missed the last 25 races of the season. "This one's been a long time coming and I think that's what increases the significance of it for me is that we had this planned last year," he said after the jump. "To be able to come back and finish what we started was pretty special." His season hasn’t gotten off to a great start this year, as Vickers ranks 28th in points with one top-five and four top-10 finishes. Still, the North Carolina native says he’s in better shape than he’s ever been in because he’s done something NASCAR drivers aren’t known for - get into shape. "I'm just in better shape. I spent all last year training and preparing for this season and taking health to a whole other level," he explained. Asked if he worried about missing his designated drop zone parachuting into Daytona, Vickers admitted to being a bit nervous because the landscape is significantly different from other places he has jumped. “If you miss the drop zone there's nothing around them,” he said of other jump sites. “Here there's grandstands, buildings, light poles, towers, scoring towers, a lot of stuff." If nothing else, the jump proves that not everything surrounding auto racing has to be completely boring……….


- Clearly, the Lebanese government wants its people to riot. Otherwise, why would its officials ban all demonstrations near the Israeli border as the Palestinians gear up to mark 44 years since the seizure of the West Bank and Gaza Strip in the Six Day War? No regime throws down a “No protesting” gauntlet unless it wants its people to do exactly that. There is no surer way to get any group of people to engage in a behavior than to tell them it is forbidden, regardless of their race, creed, sex or culture. An unidentified Lebanese security official confirmed the ban Friday, speaking on condition of anonymity to the Associated Press. "The army has taken the decision to ban any demonstration south of the Litani and particularly at the border," the official said. "The army will not allow anyone to approach the border." In this case, the protest ban seems to be a precautionary measure, but to a true dissident, the reason for such a ban is irrelevant. The Man says you can’t protest, then there is one thing on your agenda and one thing only: protesting. Ahead of the ban, Palestinians in Lebanon joined their countrymen in other Arab states neighboring Israel in saying they plan to march on the Jewish state's borders on Sunday to mark the anniversary, known in Arabic as the "Naqsa" or "setback." A similar demonstration took place on May 15, as thousands of protesters in Lebanon, Syria and Gaza tried to force their way across the borders in a mass show of mourning over the 1948 creation of the Jewish state. The situation quickly turned ugly as Israeli troops opened fire, killing four along the Syrian lines, and another 10 along the border with Lebanon. A similar protest in northern Gaza left more than 120 injured. To prevent a similar occurrence for Sunday’s anniversary date, the Israeli army deployed extra troops along the Lebanese border as well as along the ceasefire lines in the occupied Golan Heights. On Thursday, Israeli soldiers were spotted along the border with south Lebanon, putting up new barbed wire along the border. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu insisted he had ordered the army to act firmly but to avoid any bloodshed if possible during any border protests. "My instructions are clear: to act with restraint but with the determination necessary to protect our borders... and our citizens," he affirmed. Lots of success on that one, B……………

Glorified family vacations, Sony has good news and the NFL is having secret meetings

- Never before has there been such intense media scrutiny and attention for someone’s summer family vacation. But airheaded possible presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her family are no ordinary family. After all, how many normal families have a matriarch who has quit mid-term on her job as governor of a state, ran in a miserably failed vice presidential effort and starred in one of the worst and most unwatchable reality shows to hit the airwaves in years? Now that she’s planning on running for president and trying to hijack the news cycle by pretending she’s not for as long as possible while visiting important national landmarks to show what a great patriot she is, Palin is getting exactly the sort of coverage she wants. Over the weekend, she rolled up on the Rolling Thunder gathering in Washington, D.C., a Washington event to honor veterans. She jumped in amongst 250,000 drinking and tattooed bikers wearing leather vests and kicked off her East Coast bus tour by riding from the Pentagon to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial on the back of a Harley Davidson. Along the way, she ignored questions about her intentions to run for president and instead talked about how great the day an event were. Her tour has also taken her to the national archives, where she oh, so wisely called the U.S. Constitution an important document, to Boston to tour important historical sites there, to New York City for visits to Ellis Island and the very historical chain pizza parlor where she and Donald Trump shared a few slices of pie. The tour/unofficial campaign/glorified family vacation even has a name - the "One Nation" tour. Media members have followed the tour with rapt attention even though none of them have been allowed on Palin’s bus to film or conduct interviews - except her Fox News colleague Greta Van Susteren. Media members have taken to breathlessly speculating where Palin will go next because she won't tell them (much like whiny kids in the back seat of the car on a real family vacation not serving as a cover for launching a presidential bid). No one saw her trip to Gettysburg coming, but speculation has her arriving in New Hampshire, which holds the first presidential primary, by week's end. Hmm…….sounds suspicious. When she does announce her candidacy, it will be both the least surprising and least meaningful announcement of the campaign because a) everyone knows it’s coming and b) this dingbat has no chance in hell of actually being elected president. Go back and watch the behind-the-scenes footage of her staff and lackeys trying to prepare her for debates during the 2008 campaign and ask yourself if someone with that much empty space inside her head and that much unused grey matter occupying the rest of its acreage running this or any other country. Were she smart, Palin would take her $1-million annual contract with Fox News and crappy reality television show and be happy. Oh, and according to Van Susteren, the reason Palin isn't allowing any non-Fox News cameras on her bus during her unofficial official campaign launch is because her Fox contract prohibits her from conducting formal interviews with other television outlets. For her part, Palin has intimated that she refuses to expound on future stops on the trip because she wants the media to have to dig and work to find out such key information like which important national monument she will be reading the tiny metal plaque on and making inane comments on next. That would be awesome……if she had a snowball’s chance in hell of actually being elected president of anything other than the local PTA……………


- Gamers, it has taken a month but Sony has finally gotten the PlayStation Store back online and your digital existence is once again complete. The company announced the development Wednesday night and also promised a "huge lineup" of new downloadable games, demos, add-on content, themes, avatars and videos. An official Sony blog post also teased new full game trials, free games and DLC, free avatars and more discounts, ostensibly as a mea culpa for the store and Sony’s online gaming system being down for such a long time following a massive hacking operation that compromised a significant amount of user data. “The PlayStation Store is back online and thank you everyone for your patience," Sony said in the post. All of the above additions to the store should score well with users, but there is still an official welcome-back/apology package to entice users who were without service following the hack of the PlayStation Network. Last month, the company promised free games, movie rentals and virtual items in an attempt to convince those users to stay. The package "is currently in the final stages of testing and will be available to download soon; we'll be sure to let you know when," Sony confirmed Wednesday. An update for the PlayStation Store and PlayStation Plus is coming tomorrow, June 3, so things are about to get even better for those who have decided not to ditch their PlayStation for a different gaming system. Sony is also expected to roll out some special releases in time for next week's E3 gaming conference in Los Angeles. PlayStation Plus subscribers can now take advantage of full game trials of "Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2" and "Dante's Inferno," so life is getting better for them as well. While all of this feel-good news goes on in the virtual world, Sony will be in the real-world setting (stifle your laughs) of Capitol Hill Thursday to discuss the hack of its system. Tim Schaaff, president of Sony Network Entertainment International, stated in prepared testimony released Wednesday by the House Energy and Commerce Committee that Sony supports federal data breach legislation that would require companies to inform customers about any breaches in a timely and consistent manner, regardless of the state in which they reside. The committee has vowed to conduct a "thorough review" of data security and electronic privacy issues and a detailed analysis of "the security of personal information collected and maintained online." Members of Congress have been very vocal about Sony’s slowness in notifying customers of the hack and its consequences, so Thursday’s was bound to be at least mildly combative. Schaff has insisted the company acted prudently and responsibly in the matter, which I’m sure has totally placated all members of the House Energy and Commerce Committee and all the users whose personal data was compromised………….


- Really? The NFL and NFLPA (or the artists formerly known as the NFLPA) are resorting to secret meetings to help resolve their labor dispute and end what has now become the longest work stoppage in NFL history? But given the lack of progress the two sides have made - other than in courtrooms - over the first 80 days of the lockout, maybe having NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, NFLPA leader DeMaurice Smith and assorted owners and players association officials meet covertly Wednesday in Chicago was a wise move. The meeting, one day prior to the next hearing in the two sides’ ongoing case before the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals in St. Louis, was designed to mediate some of the significant differences that remain on the major issues responsible for the lockout. According to multiple league sources, the two sides worked into the night and made at least some minor progress. Meeting in Chicago was a logical choice with the hearing set for Friday in nearby St. Louis. Some analysts have speculated that the meeting was a sign of both sides’ desire not to waste the month of June not attempting to resolve their differences as their multiple legal issues play out in court. At present, the negotiating efforts are directed at the simple - and yet complex - notion of determining whether it is possible to work out a settlement that eventually leads to football and a collective bargaining agreement. More optimistic sources have expressed hope that a deal could be reached as soon as the end of June, but that seems a bit too sunny given the lack of progress thus far. Wednesday’s meeting was so secretive that even with several NFL owners, including Dallas' Jerry Jones, New England's Robert Kraft and Carolina's Jerry Richardson, on hand, there were several other owners who didn’t have any idea the meeting was taking place. The NFLPA was tight-lipped as well, refusing comment on questions about the meeting or about its leaders' whereabouts. If the two sides continue talking, perhaps they can avoid having to stick to their schedule of court-mediated sessions in the Brady vs. NFL antitrust case, which are scheduled to resume next Tuesday in Minneapolis before U.S. Magistrate Judge Arthur Boylan. Who knows, maybe the coming NFL season really can be saved………….


- With so many superhero movies out this summer (Thor, Green Lantern, Captain America, X-Men), it seems like a great time to ask what it takes to pull of a great superhero movie, one that separates itself from the pack. If you ask “X-Men: First Class” stars James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender the secret to superhero success, they have a definite idea and it has much to do with getting inside the mind of those with other-worldly powers. “I think that the X-Men, X-People, mutants . . . They use their powers for good just like a superhero does but they don’t feel like superheroes," McAvoy said . "They feel like real people more, I think.” So being a superhero doesn’t feel superhero-ish at all? Letdown. Maybe Fassbender has a better explanation? “I think the philosophy of it as well, you know, the whole idea of alienation, misfits in society,” Fassbender added. “And how they struggle to be accepted and to find a place for them in society. I think that’s a universal theme. That’s why people across the world find them intriguing.” A little better, but still not the answer to fire people up to go see a movie about mutants kicking some human ass. The two actors admitted that director Matthew Vaughn did reference the James Bond movies as a sort of template for the portrayal of Magneto, one of the most prominent characters in the X-Men franchise. However, Fassbender insisted his template for his character in the movie was the comic books that inspired it. “I just really concentrated on what was in the comic books,” he explained. “The biography available in the comic books, it was so dense that I was spoiled for choice really to go away and really just create this sort of Machiavellian character.” Comic book dorks everywhere will be overjoyed to hear that because they typically spend the weeks after seeing a comic book movie on the screen telling anyone and everyone who will listen (along with those who won't) how the movie was different from the comic books and how many key details the director missed. Whether all of this research and superhero philosophizing actually pays off for McAvoy, Fassbender and the rest of the X-Men remains to be seen…………


- YES! Finally, a major panel, committee or organization not comprised of major stoners has reached the conclusion the pothead community (in its chemically medicated state) arrived at years ago: It is high time (pun intended) to legalize the hippie lettuce. Big ups to the Global Commission on Drug Policy, which includes former heads of state, a former U.N. secretary-general and a business mogul, for hopping on the bandwagon. This distinguished group has concluded that the global war on drugs has failed with devastating consequences for individuals and societies around the world and as such, it is time for governments to end the criminalization of marijuana and other controlled substances. "Political leaders and public figures should have the courage to articulate publicly what many of them acknowledge privately: that the evidence overwhelmingly demonstrates that repressive strategies will not solve the drug problem, and that the war on drugs has not, and cannot, be won," the report said. Before the haters attempt to dismiss the report as the work of a bunch of bong-hitting, fattie-rolling hippies who are too high to realize what they heck they’re saying, take a closer look at some of the members of the panel. Among its 19 members are former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, former U.S. official George P. Schultz, former U.S. Federal Reserve chairman Paul Volcker, former presidents of Mexico, Brazil and Colombia and U.K. business mogul Richard Branson. These 19 men and women have brilliantly embraced what yours truly has been saying for years, that stoners are mellow people who "do no harm to others." Punishing them makes no sense and thus, governments should end criminalization of drug use, experiment with legal models that would undermine organized crime syndicates and offer health and treatment services for drug-users in need. Brilliant thinking, for sure, even though the panel clearly stole it from me. They went on to call for drug policies based on methods empirically proven to reduce crime, lead to better health and promote economic and social development. Shock of all shocks, the report is also heavily critical of the United States, with commission members insisting the U.S. lead in this area by changing its anti-drug policies from being guided by anti-crime approaches to ones rooted in health care and human rights. "We hope this country (the U.S.) at least starts to think there are alternatives," former Colombian president Cesar Gaviria stated. "We don't see the U.S. evolving in a way that is compatible with our (countries') long-term interests." Predictably, White House drug czar Gil Kerlikowske maintained the “head stuck firmly up ass” posture of the Obama administration on the issue, insisting the report was completely off-base. Keep telling yourself that, G., while the rest of the world chills, enjoys some Funjuns and Planet Earth DVDs and does a few bong rips…………

Killing the food pyramid, abusing power and buying justice

- Is that gosh-durned, newfangled food pyramid thingy just too confusing for you, America? Based on your ever-expanding waistline, let’s just assume the answer is yes. In that case, if the triangle of food groups informing you how to structure your diet so as to achieve maximum health benefits is too far over your head, then this is your week. The Obama administration is killing off the food pyramid -- that symbol of healthy eating -- and as of Thursday, it will be replaced by a new graphic to tell American consumers what quantities of grains, fruits and vegetables, protein and dairy they should eat to maintain a healthy diet. In its place will be a sparkly new plate, with four different- colored sections indicating how much of each food group the United States Department of Agriculture recommends. The multi-colored plate is a "crucial element of the administration’s crusade against obesity" led by first lady Michelle Obama, according to the administration itself. Half of the space on the plate will be reserved for fruits and vegetables, while smaller circle beside it will indicate a day's dairy allowance. You’re probably asking yourself, “I wonder how much this dose of dietary wisdom cost to create. Maybe $10,000?” Oh, how wrong you would be. This baby cost a cool $2 million to develop and promote, but can anyone truly put a price on properly educating Americans about new federal dietary guidelines released in January? Besides, nutritionists and public health officials never fully embraced the food pyramid, which was introduced in 1992. The original concept was good - having food groups that one eats larger portions of (fruits, vegetables, grains) at the wider base and placing dairy and protein towards the pointy top of the pyramid. Predictably, the whiners in the dairy and meat industries objected, complaining that their products were being "stigmatized." That led to a revised pyramid, MyPyramid, being released in 2005, in such a way that whatever nutritional information it was to communicate was rendered almost useless. Its confusing, vertical brightly colored strips represented the different food groups and it also showed a stick figure running up the side to emphasize the need for exercise. The plate concept actually does make more sense, but don’t be stunned if the dairy industry objects to being relegated to the second circle off to the side and claiming the government is discriminating against it once again…………


- The NFL lockout has been positive for at least one player: Washington Redskins defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth. Haynesworth, who suffered through a troubled and erratic season in which he spent more time failing conditioning tests and pouting like a 350-pound baby than actually contributing to his team’s occasional success, used some of the hefty $21 million roster bonus (as part of his $100 million contract) to pay off the man he (allegedly) assaulted several months ago during a road-rage incident in northern Virginia. A judge has dismissed a road-rage assault charge after Haynesworth reached an agreement with the alleged victim. It may seem like buying justice and in truth, it is. Virginia law allows a judge to dismiss misdemeanor assaults under a provision called "accord and satisfaction," in which a victim says he has been made whole, usually by a financial payment. The provision is perfectly suited for the rich to use their immense wealth to purchase justice and stay out of jail, although it is extremely unlikely Haynesworth ever would have served any significant jail time for the incident. The alleged victim, Arthur J. Velasquez, had his nose bloodied in the incident and claimed Haynesworth punched him after both of them stopped following a vehicular altercation in Reston. Velasquez told police he made a gesture at Haynesworth for tailgating him and claimed that after they both stopped their vehicles, Haynesworth allegedly got out of his pickup truck and punched him. The details of the settlement have not been made public and both Haynesworth and his alleged victim declined to comment. However, Haynesworth's attorney, Steven Merril tried to put a happy face on this pile of judicial and societal crap by saying of his client, "He's sorry about the whole incident. Haynesworth's mistake was getting out of the car. Most judges don't like that, and find the person who gets out of the car bears more responsibility. From that point on, the stories diverge." So getting out of his vehicle was a bigger mistake than punching a man he weighed twice as much as in the head? Okey doke, counselor…………


- The “dumb Pollock” jokes may have long ago become too politically incorrect for anyone over the age of 10 to use, but if Polish prime minister Donald Tuck keeps opening his mouth wide and inserting his foot directly into it, the world will have a whole new reason to crack on his country. Perhaps this remark can be attributed to sweltering temperatures getting the best of Tuck and causing him to suffer from the seldom-seen phenomenon of temporary, heat-induced stupidity. Tuck had better hope so because during a press conference Tuesday in Warsaw to address Poland taking over the rotating European Union presidency next month, he was asked if everything was organizationally “buttoned up” for the EU presidency, starting July 1. The question came from a rather attractive female Polish radio reporter who was dressed in some tight-fitting attire. “I’m looking at the lady’s dress and buttoning up is not what comes to mind,” Tusk replied. “I like… summer.” Wow……that was, um, creepy, predatory and more than a little disturbing. Nothing like eyeing an attractive female media member, ogling her in a public setting and making a sexist remark like, “I like summer,” a remark clearly about women wearing less clothing as temperatures rise. In the social media-heavy world we all live in, Tusk’s words were quickly picked up by the 24/7 news cycle and rebroadcast, re-tweeted and replayed over and over again and were quickly tagged with comparisons to another famously lecherous, womanizing political leader - former President of the United States Bill Clinton. No offense to Tusk, but one off-color press conference remark doesn’t put him anywhere near Slick Willie Clinton’s area code when it comes to pervy behavior. Check back when Tusk is having interns do seedy and sexually stimulating favors for him in his plush office…………


- America, this is a please surprise. Are you becoming more sophisticated and high-class in choosing your entertainment options? Clearly so if a new report from the Broadway League is to be believed. The report lays out surprising claims that the 2010-11 Broadway season in New York saw a jump in both attendance and box-office dollars over the previous season. The report, released Tuesday, claims that attendance rose 5.4 percent from the 2009–10 season and grosses jumped 5.9 percent over the same period. The numbers themselves are truly staggering, as Broadway shows brought in a total of $1,080,562,880 and attendance of 12,534,595 for the 2010-11 season (and yes, Broadway does have a season just like television and professional sports). In fact, the 2010-11 season began May 24, 2010 and ended May 29, 2011. That have the just-concluded season a slight advantage, as it comprised 53 weeks, whereas the previous season had 52 weeks. Still, the report showed that attendance through week 52 was up 3.1 percent over last year's 52-week season. Revenues pushing past the $1 billion mark can be attributed in large part to the exorbitant average price of seeing a show - $86.21 during the just-wrapped season according to the Broadway League. The season’s biggest hits included "The Book of Mormon" -- which has played to full houses since opening in March -- along with "War Horse" and the revival of "Anything Goes." Long-running shows like "Wicked" and "The Lion King" continued to do strong business and of course, the season totals also include box-office statistics for "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," even though the show failed to open in the 2010-11 period. Production delays, on-set dangers, safety issues and other calamities have pushed the much-anticipated production back several times even though it began previews in late November. It finally reopened for previews this month, with a new opening date set for June 14. All told, 42 shows opened on Broadway in the most recent season, including 14 musicals, 25 plays and 3 special events. Together, they turned in what can only be characterized as a successful effort…………


- To quote legendary Seinfeld loafer George Costanza after being found to have had sex with the office cleaning lady on his desk, “Was that wrong?” That question pertains to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's trip on a state police helicopter to watch his son's high school baseball game, which has drawn heated criticism from Democratic state lawmakers who quickly called for the first-term Republican to repay the cost of the excursion. Christie’s use of a government helicopter for a personal trip seems especially galling for a man who has asked workers to give up benefits as part of "shared sacrifice" in cutting the cost of government. But hey, when a governor needs to travel to Montvale to watch his son play catcher for Delbarton School and time is of the essence, he hops that bird first and asks questions later. Besides, the helicopter is "occasionally used as the schedule demands", Michael Drewniak, a spokesman for Christie, said in an e-mail. State Democratic Party Chairman John Wisniewski seemed especially angry over the incident, terming Christie's ride on the $12.5 million aircraft "hypocrisy" because of the governor’s criticisms of state spending and targeting of public officials who abuse government perks. "It's an outrage, quite frankly," Wisniewski, an assemblyman from Sayreville, said. "This is a governor who made a career out of criticizing other people for breaking the rules and here he is, breaking the same rules in a cavalier fashion." Other state lawmakers noted Christie’s cuts for property-tax rebates and funding for women's health care and called on the governor to reimburse the taxpayers for all costs associated with personal and political trips. A bill is currently winding its way through the state legislature that would prohibit any member of the governor's office or state employee from taxpayer-funded travel or staying overnight unless the trip is deemed to be essential, a bill that would seem to apply perfectly to this very situation. So what were the logistics that forced their aerial adventure for the governor? Well, he had a meeting earlier in the day at Drumthwacket, the governor's mansion in Princeton, about 67 miles by car from Saint Joseph High School in Montvale. He met with a group of donors and political operatives from Iowa, said Rick Gorka, a spokesman for the New Jersey Republican State Committee. His visitors apparently offered support and attempted to lure him into a presidential run in 2012, Gorka said. By the time the meeting was over, Christie had no way to make it to the game on time and decided that missing the contest and not wasting thousands of taxpayer dollars in the process wasn’t an option. He arrived in time to see a 4-2 victory for his son’s team. The helicopter used for this über-important trip was a new Agusta which is supposed to be used for transporting emergency patients, law enforcement officers and executives. Does this sound like an emergency to anyone? Didn’t think so…………

More cell phone hazards, Dwight Howard drama and Egyptian military "virginity tests"

- Aaaaaaand the pendulum swings back the other way - again. No health- or science-related topic has featured as many twists and turns as whether or not cell phones are dangerous to users’ health. As of Tuesday, that pendulum is back on the site of unhealthy after the World Health Organization declared that radiation from cell phones can possibly cause cancer. The WHO now lists mobile phone use in the same "carcinogenic hazard" category as lead, engine exhaust and chloroform. Read that again: the same "carcinogenic hazard" category as lead, engine exhaust and chloroform. Those are three powerful names to be in a category with, for sure. But hey, the agency did precede its announcement with the assurance to consumers that no adverse health effects had been established. The announcement came from research done by a team of 31 scientists from 14 countries, including the United States. After reviewing peer-reviewed studies on cell phone safety (doesn’t sound all that extensive or high-effort), these scientists decided they had enough evidence to categorize personal exposure as "possibly carcinogenic to humans." What does that mean? Not much, actually. There simply are not enough long-term studies conducted to make a clear conclusion if radiation from cell phones are safe, but there is still enough data showing a possible connection that consumers should be alerted. "The biggest problem we have is that we know most environmental factors take several decades of exposure before we really see the consequences," said Dr. Keith Black, chairman of neurology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Radiation coming from cell phones is typically called non-ionizing, most closely resembling a very low-powered microwave oven. Even though Tuesday’s announcement is far from earth-shaking news, the voices decrying the dangers of cell phone use that have grown louder over the years will undoubtedly seize upon it to more loudly champion their cause. One such kook - a well-educated kook - happens to be the head of a prominent cancer-research institute at the University of Pittsburgh who sent a memo to employees telling them to limit cell phone use because of a possible risk of cancer. The largest international study on cell phones and cancer concluded in 2010 and it found that participants who used a cell phones for 10 years or more had doubled the rate of brain glioma, a type of tumor. One area that remains unexplored in the field of possible health hazards from cell phones is the danger to children, an increasingly important topic because of the rapidly expanding number of children who use cell phones at lower and lower ages. With thinner skulls and scalps, the danger should theoretically be higher if any sort of substantial radiation is being put out. Most smartphone manufacturers do warn consumers to keep their device away from their body, but those warnings tend to fall on deaf ears like so many other warnings about potential health hazards about products. For example, the safety manual for Apple’s iPhone 4 says for users' radiation exposure to not exceed FCC guidelines, "When using iPhone near your body for voice calls or for wireless data transmission over a cellular network, keep iPhone at least 15 mm (5/8 inch) away from the body." Competitor BlackBerry advises users of its popular Bold model to "keep the BlackBerry device at least 0.98 in. (25 mm) from your body when the BlackBerry device is transmitting." Or just continue using your phone the same way you always have and consequences be damned…………


- It sounds great and at the moment, it’s essentially all Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard can do to debunk rumors that he is planning on following the path beaten out of town by former Magic center Shaquille O’Neal and heading to a bigger market when he becomes a free agent. Like O’Neal, Howard has established himself as the NBA’s dominant big man and while he’s not on O’Neal’s level as an all-time great, he has won consecutive defensive player of the year awards and is prominently featured as a pitchman for various national companies. Couple his Hollywood aspirations with the reality that the small-market Magic seem like a long shot to compete against the Chicago Bulls and the in-state Miami Heat in the stacked Eastern Conference and it’s easy to see why speculation is intense about Howard’s possible departure. There’s also the rising trend of superstars coming together on specific teams to form quasi all-star squads to increase their championship chances. Howard has heard all of the speculation and although he is under contract with the Magic through the 2012-13 season and has yet to sign an extension, he wants nothing to do with it. Several weeks ago he took to Twitter to rip several local media members who had written stories speculating about his future and demanded that they allow him to enjoy his offseason in peace. That didn’t last long, as Howard sat down with a reporter from the Orlando Sentinel on Monday and said that although he can terminate his contract a year before it expires - after next season - he has no plans to go anywhere. "I'm not trying to run behind nobody like Shaq or be behind somebody else," Howard said of the suggestion he would follow the path paved by O’Neal, who left the Magic for the Los Angeles Lakers after the 1995-96 season. "I want to start my own path and I want people to follow my path and not just follow somebody else's path. I want to have my own path, and I want to start that here in Orlando. But I can't do it alone. Not only do I need the right teammates, but I need the city behind me. That's the only way it's going to get done. We can change this small city that we have -- this small market that we have -- and we can make it a big market." Making Orlando a big market will also mean re-tooling a roster that endured a first-round at the hands of the Atlanta Hawks to end their season. A legitimate run at a championship and a stronger roster could theoretically give Howard more incentive to remain in Orlando. But read between the lines of his comments and it’s clear he has given himself plenty of wiggle room if and when he leaves. "As of right now, I'm a part of the Orlando Magic and I plan to be here," Howard stated. "And I want the Magic to do whatever they can to make sure that we can get our city behind us. I never said I was leaving. I never, ever thought about leaving. That's basically where my head is right now. I never said anything to them (the Magic) about what my plans were because that's not what I'm focused on right now." Right now would be the key phrase there. At this point, Howard would be a fool to say anything else, especially with a lockout on the horizon that could freeze all league business indefinitely. Saying he plans to or has strongly considered leaving would only poison an already tenuous situation and make it all the more difficult for the Magic to trade him if it becomes clear to them he doesn’t plan to stay when he becomes a free agent. These comments won't persuade anyone to change their mind on the subject, but then again, nothing Howard could say right now would do that…………


- Certain actions, comments and stances in life just cannot be defended, no matter how hard someone tries. A country’s military conducting forced "virginity tests" on female protesters is one such action. Protestors gathered in Cairo’s Tahrir Square in March as part of the uprising to demand political change after the February ouster of president Hosni Mubarak and among their number were many women. After weeks of violent protests security forces decided it would be a solid idea to get excessively violent in clearing the square and to detain scores of protestors. Some detainees painted vivid pictures of the alleged abuse, saying it included forced "virginity tests," beatings, electric shocks and strip searches while being photographed by male soldiers. The claims enraged Egyptian activists who called for demonstrations to condemn the incident and led to human rights groups to call on the government to investigate accusations that the army tortured and abused women. Groups such as Amnesty International have claimed that at least 18 women were arrested on March 9 when army officers forcibly cleared Tahrir Square. The military council currently running the country have denied the army’s role in any possible abuses and refused comment on the issue. Yet media reports have quoted an unidentified senior general confirming the allegations while attempting to defend the incident. This ass hat had the audacity to suggest that because the women subjected to degrading and dehumanizing “virginity tests” were not like his or others’ wholesome, pure daughters, the abuse was A-OK. He went on to claim that the so-called virginity tests were conducted so the army could prove that the women were not raped or sexually assaulted at the protest. Citing the tents set up in Tahrir Square the female protestors shared with male counterparts and the presence of Molotov cocktails and drugs in those tents, the general further defended the virginity tests. His revelation led to a mad rush among activists so organize demonstrations to condemn the military's actions. "Women were in the front lines in Tahrir. They have always played a role and they deserve for their dignity to be regained," one activist group posted on its Facebook page. Not to stir the pot further, but this seems to be a story that won't go away and time soon……….


- Peter Jackson hasn’t found the going easy with his forthcoming “Hobbit” movies, but he and everyone associated with the films received good news over the weekend as New Line Cinema, Warner Brothers and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer said in a joint statement that the first “Hobbit” movie would open on Dec. 14, 2012. The date represents what some scholars say is the 509th anniversary of the birth of Nostradamus and comes a month or so after the supposed end of the world predicted by the mythical Mayan calendar, so it’s definitely in a solid window. Not only did the three studios announced the release date for the first of the two films, they also shared the news that the concluding “Hobbit” film will be released on Dec. 13, 2013, a date which not only has two 13s in it but also falls on a Friday the 13th. Those pieces of information on their own would be enough to sufficiently geek up the legions of dorks undoubtedly already planning their campsite outside their local multiplex when tickets for the first “Hobbit” film goes on sale, but wait, there’s more! The studios also announced the films’ full titles: Part I will be called “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” and Part II will be called “The Hobbit: There and Back Again,” neither of which gives much of a hint as to how the movies will unfold. The announcement did have a distinct odor of slightly panicked studios attempting to dispel the notion that there is some sort of curse working against Jackson’s “Hobbit” movies, which have already battled a labor dispute, the occasional explosion and emergency ulcer surgery for its director. Now that the films have both release dates and titles, perhaps talk of them being cursed will subside……until the next time something blows up on set or Jackson is rushed to the emergency room again. Then again, if the world does end in November 2012, none of this will matter anyhow…………


- How was your Memorial Day? No matter how fun it was, odds are it would have been substantially more entertaining had you been hanging out in or around downtown Decatur, Ala. As families across the country gathered around the grill or hit up the local park’s pavilion for their cookout, many Decatur residents headed to the Point Mallard aquatic park to cool off from the sweltering temperatures sweeping through their region. With that heat apparently came some hot tempers, as a brawl broke out around 4:30 and quickly spun far enough out of control that park officials decided to close the entire park down and call police. Best of all, the fight was amongst a large group of girls, possibly over someone moving in on someone else’s boyfriend, having the same bathing suit or talking junk about how someone else looked in her bathing suit (all theories approximate). The chick fight had broken up by the time police arrived, but not for good. Instead, it merely spilled out into the town once the water park’s gates closed. Although no arrests were made, police confirmed that the fight at the park multiplied into several fights across the city, with reports of brawls at a gas station and at a local McDonald's. The investigation is ongoing at this point and no suspects have been officially identified, but big ups to any of the fine, classy chicas involved in this fracas for turning what could have been another mundane, ho-hum Memorial Day at the water park into a day to remember. Nothing says “honoring our veterans” quite like fighting some other chicks at the local water park and having that brawl spread across the city as the day wore on. Surely our veterans had these very rights and freedoms in mind when they bravely laid down their lives for this country. The real winners on the day had to be patrons who entered the park after 3:30 p.m., as they not only were able to witness a heckuva brawl, but they can also come back for another day at the park for free on account of having less than an hour to enjoy the slides, lazy river and other attractions before the park closed. Oh, and no one was seriously injured in any of the fights, so the situation is truly a win-win for all involved…………

Idiots gets more rights, movie news and border crashings

- Idiots in Texas may soon have a privilege that idiots in 17 other states across the nation currently enjoy. For too long now, IQ-deprived fools in the Lone Star State have not been able to (legally) wade into their favorite stream or watering hole, stick their hands down into some hole or recess in the river bed and attempt to pull out a catfish with their bare hands. The practice, known as noodling, is legal in neighboring Oklahoma and 16 other states and it may soon be legal in Texs as well. A bill approved by the state legislature last week would make noodling legal in Texas. Presently, those caught noodling in Texas face fines of up to $500 - not to mention potentially getting their hand bitten clean off by a large, angry snapping turtle if they stick their arm into the wrong hole while looking for that prize catfish. The concept of noodling is actually quite bizarre, with the goal to get the fish to latch onto the noodler's arm with their mouths or to take hold of the fish by the gills. Once he or she accomplishes either of these things, they take the fish to a boat or to shore and gets the fish to let go of the arm. Because catfish can grow to nearly 50 pounds, it can sometimes taken two brain-dead idiots to successfully complete a noodling attempt. Those who value their hands and overall well-being won't be affected by this legal change, but anyone dumb enough to engage in this foolhardy hobby is probably fired up by the very real chance that their favorite pastime could become legal simply by virtue of their governor slapping his signature on the bill and making it official…………


- Anyone who has been involved in an office pool on who will purchase the first model of the world’s first commercially available quantum computer, that question has been answered. Aerospace, defense and security company Lockheed Martin sealed the deal for the über-computer, which uses principles of quantum mechanics rather than classical mechanics. Quantum computers are different than conventional computers because instead of relying on transistors, they rely on principles of quantum mechanics to conduct operations. Properties like entanglement — when two particles have the same properties and behave identically while being separate — and storing data with “qubits,” or quantum bits, make a computer more powerful and faster. Whereas typical bits store memory by registering an “on” or “off,” or a one or zero, qubits can represent information as both memory and the state of entanglement with other particles. It sounds confusing……and it is. All you need to know is that a quantum computer uses a system of 128 qubits, which means the computer will be able to solve more complex problems than traditional computers at a much higher speed. It doesn’t have much of an impact on the things the average computer user does with their machine - updating their Facebook status, knocking out a Tweet about standing in line at Chipotle or downloading porn - but for aerospace, defense and security companies like Lockheed Martin, the computer’s ability to tackle computing-intensive problems related to number theory and optimization is rather handy. One example of its computing power is the use of Shor’s Algorithm, a quantum algorithm that determines the prime factors of a large number quickly and efficiently, to break modern encryption algorithms like RSA encryption, a type of public-key cryptography. The quantum computer’s brain power could theoretically lead to new kinds of encryption methods and security algorithms to secure data and model more complex systems. The computer’s maker, D-Wave, was founded in 1999 and calls itself “the quantum computing company.” The sale price is a cool $10 million, should you be in the market for one…………


- Border crashing party, all! Everyone into the pool - or in the case, the mostly barren desert wasteland that is Egypt. On the day Egypt re-opened its border crossing from the Gaza Strip for the first time in four years, hundreds of Palestinians from the Gaza Strip bum-rushed the crossing. The opening is permanent and comes despite Israeli concerns that the move strengthens Hamas’s rule of the area. Nearly 300 Palestinians crossed into Egypt this morning in a process called “smooth and easy” by a Hamas police officer on the scene. The decision to reopen the border was hailed by the Hamas Islamic movement, which controls the Palestinian enclave. Israel strenuously objected to the move and warned of potential dangers from it. “We will obviously be looking to preserve security arrangements at the border and hope nothing will be done to allow Hamas to empower itself and to reinforce its terrorist infrastructures,” Yigal Palmor, an Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman, said in a phone interview. “The Israeli position has been made known to all relevant authorities, including in Egypt.” Not only is Egypt reducing restrictions at the Rafah crossing, it will also waive visa requirements for most Palestinians entering from other departure points, except neighboring Libya. Hamas saluted the border opening as helping the Gazan population “ease its suffering.” Israel, of course, maintains an embargo on the Gaza coast in an effort to prevent alleged weapons smuggling. The Israeli government has choked off the flow of goods and people in and out of Gaza through its own border crossings since Hamas seized control of the Gaza Strip since by winning elections in January 2006 and gained full control of the area in 2007. Egypt’s choice comes as its new leadership takes a decidedly different approach than the one espoused by former dictator/“President” Hosni Mubarak. That new leadership is currently facing massive protests and riots demanding it do a better job of carrying out its new responsibilities and the border issue could be one more flashpoint in the growing conflict…………


- The one-man wolfpack was at it again, dominating a strong field at the Memorial Day weekend box office to give The Hangover Part 2 a decisive win in the earnings battle. Hangover 2 scored $86.5 million for the weekend and after nearly one week in theaters, it has made a resounding $118.1 million. It wrested the top spot from last weekend’s top film, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and fellow newcomer and sequel Kung Fu Panda, which landed in second in its debut weekend by raking in $48 million. Close behind was Pirates, which chugged along with a so-so second weekend, dropping off more than 56 percent but still making $39.3 million to raise its two-week total to $152.9 million - $100 million short of breaking even on its whopping $250 million budget. The real stunner of the weekend was Bridesmaids, which added $16.4 million in its third weekend to raise its three-week total to an impressive $84.9 million and counting - not bad for the unabashed female rip-off of The Hangover. Thor rounded out the top five with $9.4 million and has made $159.7 million for its first month in theaters. The bottom of half of the top 10 was made up of: Fast Five (No. 6 and inching precariously close to the $200 million mark in the U.S. after $6.6 million and now $196 million through five weeks), Midnight in Paris (a distant No. 7 with $1.95 million and just $2.8 million in two weeks of work), Jumping the Broom (No. 8 with $1.9 million and $34.2 million in its first month of release), Something Borrowed (No. 9 and once again last among the wedding-themed films in the top 10 with $1.8 million to make its four-week haul $34.7 million) and Rio (No. 10 with $1.7 million and $134.8 million over seven mostly impressive weeks. Two films made noticeable drops from last week’s top 10, Priest (dropping from No. 5 all the way to No. 11 in just its third week) and Water for Elephants (No. 12)………….


- What is a driver to do when he or she hasn’t won a race or even come close on the professional racing circuit he or she competes on and doesn’t appear to be on the verge of a victory any time soon? If you happen to be a really hot chick like IndyCar driver/GoDaddy.com skank/pitchwoman Danica Patrick you seize the opportunity to take a step up while it’s still available to you. For Patrick, that means a move to the more lucrative world of NASCAR as soon as next season. Her primary sponsor expects her to do just that, with Bob Parsons, CEO and founder of Danica Patrick sponsor GoDaddy.com, saying Sunday he expects Patrick to move full-time to NASCAR next season. "She hasn't told me she will, but I believe she will and we'll be ready," Parsons said. "Here's the fact: She loves [NASCAR], it's much more exciting than IndyCar, with all due respect, and the TV audience for NASCAR is off the hook." Nothing like making those comments while standing near the track at Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Indianapolis 500, but what does anyone expect from a man who runs the sleaziest, lowest-common-denominator ads for his domain registry/web hosting service, pretty much relying on the “take hot chicks in very little clothing and intimate that they’re about to do all sorts of skanky things” approach in every second of every ad? Class is not a part of the GoDaddy.com corporate verbage. Parsons also recalled Patrick’s reaction after her first NASCAR experience, at Daytona last year. "She came up to me right after she did her first NASCAR race [the 2010 Nationwide race at Daytona]," Parson said. "She said to me, 'I absolutely loved it. This is what I was born to do.'" Parsons and his company would obviously love a move to NASCAR because of the increased exposure and he claimed during his soliloquy at IMS on Sunday that fans have told him already that they would “start watching NASCAR to see Danica.” Of course, he also suggested that America loves and roots for Patrick, when the reality is most fans are tired of her act and realize she’s nothing more than auto racing’s dose of T&A. So far, Patrick has made no official statements or announcements about her plans for next season, but it’s not as if she is going to be a threat to win a ton of races no matter where she drives. And oh yeah, auto racing still isn't and never will be an actual sport, so there’s that to consider as well. In other words, she’s not screwing up a legitimate, honest sport and turning it into a running punchline. No matter how much damage she does, it’s still just auto racing………….

Giving babies credit, wrasslin' gators and people hate LeBron

- Oddly enough, cutting categories from the Grammy Awards is producing the exact opposite reaction that it should cause. For an awards show that is perpetually among the worst offenders in dragging on interminably and eating up wasted chunks of viewers’ lives they can never get back. Cutting categories should be cause for celebration because it means a (theoretically) shorter show…….but instead, angry musicians lashed out at the cuts and staged a demonstration Thursday, calling on the recording academy to restore 31 musical categories trimmed from the Grammy list. The performers were all from the same genre - Latin jazz - and they staged a mini-invasion Thursday on the corner of Wilshire Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard. The musicians staged impromptu jam sessions in an effort to remind the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences what it and music fans will be missing out on by not honoring their genre each year. "Many races, colors and creeds embrace our music," said Latin jazz musician Peter Escovedo. "And to take that away from us is a slap in the face." While the jazz musicians “protested” outside the Beverly Hilton (yes, it’s a ridiculous place for a protest because who can really be that oppressed in Beverly Hills), the board of trustees for the NARAS met inside. Last month, the organization announced plans to eliminate 31 categories from the Grammy Awards, including contemporary blues, Native American, Hawaiian, and Latin jazz. All are genres that would have been in the “Other awards/Recognized prior to the real ceremony” category, but the musicians gathered outside a posh southern California hotel would have none of that talk. "Reinstate the categories," said contemporary blues artist Pepper Mashay. "Reinstate all of them Let the chips fall where they may, on the talent." Some famous faces (and voices) have also criticized the decision, including Paul Simon and Carlos Santana. Predictably, the NARAS declined to comment on the protest or the reasoning behind the decision. The organization’s only response came in a statement by NARAS President and CEO Neil Portnow: "After careful and extensive review and analysis of all categories and fields, it was objectively determined that our Grammy categories be restructured to the continued competition and prestige of the highest and only peer-recognized award in music." Prestige? From the awards show that gives recognition to the same damn mainstream, already-known artists and constantly ignores most of the best and brightest because they simply aren’t big enough? For sure………….


- Corruption amongst Mexican law enforcement agencies is nothing new, but typically it is drug cartels paying off officers or blackmailing them into allowing the cartel to go about its business without being troubled. A paper bag full of cash or a well-timed threat generally does the job and while everyone knows such corruption goes on, stopping it is nearly impossible. For this reason, no one is likely to be surprised that 15 police officers in Tijuana, Mexico, were suspended for illegal and unethical behavior - unless they know the reason for the suspensions. There was no cash exchanged and no cartel members waving guns. The weapons used were the, um, assets of a young female detainee who was forced to perform a topless lap dance in exchange for her release. The tape was supposedly made March 2 and it shows uniformed police officers forcing a woman to give them a lap dance. Still images pulled from the video allegedly show at least one officer groping a half-naked woman and others, posted on a local newspaper’s website, show uniformed police officers standing in the background as the woman stands half-naked in front of one of the other officers. The city’s coordinator for the city's communications department, Raul Gomez Cana, confirmed the suspensions, saying, "They will stay suspended until we decide what to do with them." Best of all, one of the officers suspended for the incident was the district's chief of police, Gomez said. That’s definitely leading from the front, unidentified local district chief of police. Leading your officers as they humiliate, degrade and dehumanize a poor woman by forcing her to strip for them is leadership at its best. Something tells me that trading her dignity and self-respect for her release isn't a swap the woman would have wanted to make…..unless she was forcing a major felony of some sort………….


- Some trends just can't be explained. Why certain fashions, music and television shows become supernova-popular while other, better shows never achieve their deserved status is one of the world’s great mysteries. This is not one of those stories. After an offseason and season full of pomposity, arrogance and asinine statements, the fact that a new ESPN polls has revealed that LeBron James’ popularity is plummeting should surprise no one. A similar poll was done in April 2010, shortly before James’ former team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, was eliminated by the Boston Celtics in Game 6 of the playoffs' second round. From that poll to the new one, 50 percent fewer respondents said James was their favorite NBA player. After knifing the entire city of Cleveland in the back with “The Decision,” showing up to a ridiculous WWE-style introductory press conference in Miami, bashing Cleveland in numerous interviews and leaving the Cavs floundering to a 19-63 season, many fans turned against the self-proclaimed King. Along the way, James also glossed his new team the “Heatles” because they were supposedly rock stars like the Beatles. He has also referred to the Heat as being "bad guys" in the eyes of many fans and again stuck his foot in his mouth Thursday night after the Heat ousted the Chicago Bulls in Game 5 the Eastern Conference finals. "We have about a month left of the hate," James said. "We'll see what happens next year." In the 2010 poll, James was tabbed as the favorite player of 9 percent of fans, but he was chosen by just 4.5 percent of respondent this time around. James also lost much of his popularity as respondents’ favorite overall athlete, dropping from 3.6 percent to 1.8 percent. According to his comments following Thursday’s game, he believes that may change as time goes by. Don’t count on it…………


- Alligators in the general vicinity of Rockledge, Fla. are hereby warned not to mess with 10-year-old Michael Dasher. Dasher was fishing with his friends from the side of a local canal when something caught the hook. "The line snapped," Dasher said. His friends figured he had snagged a big one and in truth, he had - a 6-foot-long alligator. Dasher said the angry gator charged at him and he retaliated by hitting it with sticks and trying to evade the lunging beast. At one point, the boy ended up on the alligator’s back and he was ultimately able to capture the gator and drag it home. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers were later called to his family’s home and were stunned to find Dasher in good spirits and with only a few minor scratches on his hands and arms. His grandfather, Benjie Cox, admitted he was stunned when he saw the alligator in the front yard. Cox called the Brevard County Sheriff's Office and wildlife officials and gave his grandson a stern lecture on the danger of what he had done. When Cox finished, the wildlife officers picked up where he left off and informed young Dasher that if he was older, he would have been arrested and charged with a felony. Officers took the gator into custody and after an observation period, they planned to release it back into the St. John's River. Whenever that alligator arrives back in the wild, it would be well-advised to pass along word to its gator relatives and friends that young Michael Dasher is not to be trifled with, lest you want to end up tied up and dragged off……….


- Don’t sleep on babies’ ability to engage in sophisticated statistical reasoning, y’all. Newly published research by the wicked smaht people at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology pegs babies as extremely capable mini-statisticians, a new study finds, capable of making judgments about the probability of an event they've never experienced before. Researchers used a computer model to accurately predict what a baby would know about a particular event if given certain information. Part of the study’s purpose was facilitating artificial intelligence that reacts appropriately to the world, but said study researcher Josh Tenenbaum, a cognitive scientist at MIT, realized how the study also demonstrates just how savvy baby brains are. "The deeper thing that this shows is that infants' knowledge of objects is not a gut feeling," he said. "They're actually doing some kind of rational, probabilistic reasoning." Previous research has shown babies’ extreme competence at grasping all sorts of information and a 2009 study even found that 6-month-olds can tell the difference between a friendly and an angry dog. Such studies have typically been based a method called "violation in expectation," in which researchers monitor babies' gazes as they observe normal and abnormal scenarios. When a babies look longer at an image or setting where something is "off," that indicates that the baby knows the situation is unusual. Tenenbaum and his team took the process a step further by quantifying how "surprising" a given event is based on the probability of it happening. In other words, would a baby be more surprised by an unusual situation if such a scenario was extremely improbable. To test the concept, the researchers set up a series of videos for 1-year-old subjects to watch. The videos showed a set of objects moving around inside an enclosure with one exit. A blue barrier then popped up on the screen, covering the enclosure. The objected then floated out of the enclosure through the exit, appearing onscreen prior to the barrier fading away to reveal the objects left behind. Multiple factors governed the probability of a given object exiting the enclosure: how many of each type of objects there are, how long the scene was covered up, how the objects are moving and where they were the last time the baby saw them. To predict the likelihood of one specific object exiting the enclosure, a baby would need to process all of this information and the study found they were able to do so, as their performance on the task matched that of the computer model given the same information. The conclusion Tenenbaum and his team reached is that reasoning skills blossom early. "Even young infants' brains, before they're able to walk and talk, they are building coherent, rational models about what is happening out there in the world," Tenenbaum stated. "We actually think that at 12 months, they know more than this model does." Additional experiments are planned to refine the model and test other concepts babies may understand, such as friction and gravity. As it turns out, the rest of the world may not have been giving babies nearly enough credit…………

Revolution No. 2, NFL awareness and crapping on Buffalo

- Call the NFL and its players whatever you want, just don’t call them completely clueless. Greedy, sure. Out of touch? Undoubtedly. Unable to compromise when dividing up $9 billion in revenues? Yup. But the league realizes that fans are growing extremely wearing of the ongoing labor dispute after 10-plus week of the back-and-forth bickering. Commissioner Roger Goodell pointed out Wednesday the negative effect the labor battle is having on pro football. "Clearly it has had an impact on the fans," Goodell said. "We see it in various metrics. There's been a noticeable change, TV ratings were down on the draft roughly 4 million people. NFL.com traffic (is down), we see that." What? NFL.com traffic is down? Just because no football business is going and there might not be a season? Who’s not riveted by hearing about the exciting legal battle in which the players and owners are waiting on the 8th U.S. District Court to rule on a lawsuit by the players seeking to have the lockout declared illegal? "Fans want certainty," Goodell added. "We can't underestimate that the fans are going through challenges just in the general economy." Yes, but that doesn’t mean either side is going to cede any ground. When the legal struggle resumes in court on June 3, a three-judge panel will hold hearings on the league's appeal to uphold the lockout. From there, the judges will likely take several weeks to issue a decision and in the meantime, the two sides are scheduled to start another set of mediation sessions on June 7. The owners just wrapped up their annual spring meetings and while those meetings featured lengthy talks about the labor dispute, no deadlines have been set -- yet -- for the opening of training camps, which usually begin in late July. Such a “drop-dead” dead is in the offing somewhere in the near future, but canceling a prominent part of the preseason schedule would undoubtedly infuriate the fans even further. As they gathered for their meetings, the owners were presented with a full range of plans for the season’s scheduled opening weekend, from the first game on Thursday night at Lambeau Field to commemorations of the Sept. 11 attacks on the first full Sunday of games. Those games are not yet in danger, but the longer the lockout goes, the more that changes. "We're not at an Armageddon date," Eric Grubman, executive vice president of business operations for the NFL, explained. "We're not staring that in the face this week." Teams are beginning to consider the possibility of having to move their training camps (if they actually happen) because the colleges and universities many of them use for camp would likely be unavailable if the season is pushed back at all. So the big question, obviously, is whether the Super Bowl in Indianapolis is in danger. Not according to Giants owner John Mara, it’s not. “You're going to have the Super Bowl here, I'm confident of that," Mara said. Somehow, it’s difficult to have as much confidence as Mara supposedly does……….


- Crap on people’s dreams much, Advertising Age? The national advertising magazine clearly fancies itself an arbiter of all things ad-related and felt the need to crush the dreams of the good folks of Buffalo, N.Y. be deeming its new slogan as empty and not giving people a reason to visit. The theme, crafted by a group of more than 70 volunteers from the community, local advertising agencies and members of the Visit Buffalo Niagara group in Buffalo, is "Buffalo: For Real." A piece in Ad Age noted that, "Tourism slogans are reliably corny, but last week New York state took the grand prize for "Huh?" with a newly anointed slogan for its fair city to the north that's best known for it's proximity to Niagara Falls and everyone's favorite 25-cent bar snack." Ad Age staffers admitted to having a hearty laugh at the slogan, but why? What on Earth did they expect Buffalo to do? Would “Come see our 50 feet of snow each winter!” or “Stop and see us for our beautiful two weeks of summer sandwiched between 11-month long winters” have worked better? No offense to the folks in Buffalo, but there’s really nothing they can say or do that is going to make their city anything other than what it is: a depressing, industrial city that’s best viewed from several thousand feet in their air as one’s plane passes over it on the way to somewhere more interesting. Dottie Gallagher Cohen, president of Visit Buffalo Niagara, would surely (and wrongly) disagree with that statement. "We have developed a concept that has tested well with our target audience, the cultural tourist. Over time, we and the 70 or so community leaders who participated in the branding process, believe that Buffalonians will see the expression of the brand and will support it. We will not be swayed by those who would like to define us as a town only known for snow and chicken wings. We are an authentic place rich with art, architecture and history assets. For Real." Okey doke, D. Your city may be “real,” but it’s also really ugly, really depressing and really covered by snow for like three-fourths of the year (meteorological figures approximate). Like Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Detroit and so many other cities around the Great Lakes region, it is neither interesting nor desirable as a vacation destination - for real………….


- Too much of a good thing doesn’t apply when it comes to revolution and for opposition groups in Egypt, the philosophy could not be less relevant. After ousting former President Hosni Mubarak from office and expecting quick and drastic change, those groups have been largely disappointed with the results they have seen from those who have assumed power. Demands to try Mubarak and his sycophants immediately, end military courts, replace the military government with civilian leaders, reform the constitution and delay the September elections have gone unfulfilled and needless to say, opposition leaders and their followers aren’t going to stand for that sort of thing. Thus, tens of thousands of them filled Cairo's Tahrir Square on Friday for what was hyped as a "second revolution." They angrily chanted their demands and boldly displayed them on signs and banners. The common theme was continuing the revolution until its primary goals are achieved, with those goals being security and stability — or something like that. Pundits were quick to cite the protest as further evidence that Egypt's progressives have failed to organize themselves post-revolution and seize the opportunity place in front of them. Their inability to coalesce into a united political force capable of overtaking the Muslim Brotherhood doesn’t bode well for their chances in Egypt’s upcoming election. Ahmed Maher, general coordinator of the April 6 uprising, filled the same role for Friday’s event. He called the gathering proof of how well activists can reconcile their differences and work together. Indeed, four diverse liberal and secular groups issued a joint list of demands in putting on the event, demands that included guaranteeing Egypt will be a civil state, ending military courts used to try protesters and other civilians and postponing the elections until the groups are better able to compete. "We have dozens of political ideologies with different approaches, like center-left or communists or center-right or seculars, and it's normal to have differences of opinion and approach between all of them," Maher said. "Islamic parties don't have those divisions because they are all based on one ideology." Liberals have claimed they are at a significant disadvantage against the more established Muslim Brotherhood, but critics insist they could still do a much better job of getting their message out than they currently are. But hey, nothing gets the message out quite like a riot or protest………….


- Is it too soon to declare Microsoft’s first entry into the tablet computer market a failure? After all, the maker of the world’s worst operating system is set to debut a version of its Windows 8 designed for tablet PCs next week and one week from being introduced is more than close enough to know that a Microsoft product is going to suck. Windows President Steven Sinofsky will present a version of the software with a touchscreen interface at the All Things D conference next week and when he does, that software will reportedly be running on a tablet based on Nvidia’s Tegra chip. While the new operating system isn’t expected to be out until next year, providing a physical entity to fulfill the rumors of a Microsoft tablet that have been circulating for months would be a wise move on the company’s part. Not surprisingly, Microsoft is continuing its trend of reaching for success by attempting to blatantly rip off Apple, this time by using the Metro interface developed for Windows Phone 7 in the way Apple has done with the OS for the iPhone and iPad. Microsoft has actually tried a few tepid forays into the tablet field, first in 2010 with the “slate PC,” a model running Windows 7 and Amazon’s Kindle software. That hunk of technological trash was essentially a stripped-down PC lacking a keyboard and it failed miserably, as all Microsoft products tend to do. All the way back in 2000, Bill Gates unveiled something called the Tablet PC at the Comdex convention. The Tablet PC was nothing more than a laptop with a rotating screen and stylus functionality and it too crashed and burned. Of late, Microsoft has been taking an even greater beating than usual in the computer market and sales have been über-slow for its crap-tacular products in large part because of a surge in sales for Apple’s iPad and iPad 2. To compensate, Microsoft is now attempting to bribe students into buying a PC by offering a free Xbox for those who buy a PC costing $699 and up from participating retailers. A successful tablet would make an even bigger impact in the battle, but we are talking about Microsoft here and the chances of a successful tablet coming from that group of tech tools is somewhere between the odds of the Cleveland Cavaliers winning next season’s NBA title and The Situation being awarded a Nobel Peace prize shortly thereafter…………


- What do you do with someone pathetic enough to both be a judge on American Karaoke and be fired by American Karaoke so it can bring in talentless pop hack Jennifer Lopez in her place? Give her two reality shows on your basic cable network, of course! Former AK “judge” Kara DioGuardi has somehow managed to land on her feet after getting the boot from the world’s biggest karaoke contest, signing a deal with Bravo for not one, but two reality shows. Her first project, Platinum Hit, will be music-centric, as music centric as a show centered on a person with no musical credibility or integrity can be. But one Kara DioGuardi show simply wasn’t enough for Bravo and so the network has inked a deal with DioGuardi for a reality show centering on her life as a “Why the hell are you famous again?” reality TV actress. The show, brilliantly titled Kara, is set to air this year. Eli Lehrer, the vice president of development at Bravo, is inexplicably fired up about the chance to add two DioGuardi-based shows to his network, saying, “People have one perception of DioGuardi, but this series will peek behind the curtain and reveal much more interesting and multi-faceted aspects of this incredibly successful, talented artist and business woman." Umm, no thank you? "We believe her dynamic personality and fascinating career will resonate with our audience and reflect our pop culture brand,” Lehrer continued. Look bro…..you’re not selling me on this one, okay? She, like anyone else who associates with AK for even one second, is musically dead. Besides, how is investing two hours of TV viewing time a week in a person who, much like Paris Hilton is well-known without having contributed anything of worth to the world, a wise choice? But let’s give DioGuardi a chance to sell her new projects and hope she can present a winning argument. “I am excited to broaden my relationship with Bravo. I am a fan of the network and appreciate how their programming gives the audience a bird's eye view into different industries and really uncover what makes people tick,” she said in a statement. Umm…..no again. I’ll take a double pass on these two shows and keep on moving, but thanks for wasting everyone’s time with this garbage…………

Prescient tattoos, too much fuss over a pop hack and quickie weddings

- Her music may not be good, her lyrics and songwriting skills may be nonexistent, but she is a walking freak show and the world always loves those and thus, there was a digital mob scene Tuesday when online retailer Amazon offered fans Lady Gaga's new album for download at just 99 cents. Her second album, just as awful as her first but with much more hype, dropped worldwide Tuesday. Fans in the United States were given an inside track on the album in the form of being able to pay about $5 more than they should have to for the garbage Gaga calls music and they came in en masse for the opportunity. As part of Amazon’s push to promote its new Cloud Drive service, which allows users to store music files on remote servers and stream them over the Internet to their computer or smartphone, the discounted version of “Born This Way” was a mere 99 cents. So many fans responded to the offer that by early afternoon, the retail website's servers had stalled and thousands of fans were saved/crushed after they were unable to download the album in full or listen to its 14 tracks. Within an hour, angry Amazon users began lighting the site up on Twitter and Facebook and verbally excoriating the site on its own review section. One angry user wrote: 'Very disappointed. I guess next time I will pay full price and get the album immediately on iTunes.' Amazon quickly denied that its heavy promotion of the special offer led to the high volume of purchase and downloading delays. It issued the requisite, hollow corporate thank-you to customers for their patience. Amazon posted a message on its Twitter feed saying that the site was 'experiencing high volume' and added: 'If you order today, you will get the full @ladygaga album for $.99. Thanks for your patience.' Those who wanted a physical copy of the album could simply hit up their local Sam Goody, Tower Records or Best Buy and at a Manhattan Best Buy location, the freak show herself turned up to meet fans, pose for pictures and sign autographs. Gaga, real name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, showed up like the true freak show she is: in a leather dominatrix-style leather contraption adorned with gold chains, fishnet tights with fishnet hold-ups over them and knee-high lace-up boots. Some fans pathetically began lining up outside the store more than 24 hours before the album dropped for a chance to meet their favorite talent-deprived pop hack. Taken in total, it’s another reminder of why music is quickly heading in the wrong direction and doesn’t seem destined to reverse the trend any time soon……….


- Quickie weddings, fast-food drive-thru style while you sit comfortably in your car aren’t just for Las Vegas anymore. Because not everyone can swing a Vegas run when they want to elope, there has long been a need for cheap, quick and tacky drive-thru weddings in other parts of the country. That need has been filled in tiny Quincy, Mass., where the Lydon Chapel has stepped up to help lovebirds who don’t want a big ceremony but also don’t want to hop a redeye to Vegas or make a cross-country drive while paying $4 per gallon for gas just to have some dude dressed in an Elvis costume pronounce them husband and wife in some 40x40 shack just off the Strip. Lydon Chapel, which has existed for normal chapel-like functions for decades, is now in the business of quickie weddings at its new drive-thru. “Probably I do two or three drive-thru's a week,” said owner Michelle Lydon. Lydon is also a justice of the peace and figured that drive-thru weddings were a good way to expand the business. After all, the cost is next to nothing for the chapel, as all Lydon needs to do is show up, read a few things, make a proclamation or two and that’s all. Plus, adding quickie weddings to the mix has garnered the attention of some of society’s biggest bottom feeders, reality show producers, and one production company filmed a pilot for a show at the chapel last year. The pilot is now being shopped around the major networks and cable networks, meaning Lydon could parlay her decision to add five-minute, in-car weddings into the sort of 15-minutes fame and notoriety that have lifted The Situation, every Real World cast member ever, all D-list celebrity ballroom dancers and all of American Karaoke’s aspiring karaoke champions to their own brief time in the spotlight. Reviews for the drive-thru weddings have been positive so far, Lydon said, and several newlyweds have mentioned that they wanted to have their special day at a Vegas drive-thru chapel but elected to have the big day at Lydon Chapel because their family couldn’t make the roadie to Sin City. And to think, all of this could soon be coming your way on some basic cable network in the form of one more (unnecessary) reality show…………


- Serving time in any prison is difficult, but Chinese prisons definitely have a reputation for being among the most brutal in the world. Still, no one could have imagined the sort of atrocities and human rights violations that were going on in the Chinese prison system, at least according to a story that broke this week. As the story goes, after a long, hard day of manual labor, many prisoners would be subjected to even harsher treatment - being forced to engage in 12-hour sessions of online gaming to rack up credits. Why, you ask? Because the guards at those prisons would then take the online credits and trade them for real-world money, that’s why. There are enough gaming losers out there desperate for credits for their favorite online games that selling credits can be profitable and with a free source of labor handy to game virtually around the clock, the guards saw an opportunity they couldn’t pass up. The story broke because a former prison, speaking under a false name, came forward to tell his harrowing tale of being imprisoned for three years from 2004 to 2007. "If I couldn't meet my work quota, they would punish me physically," the prisoner said. The practice, whether taking place in a prison or in society, is known as gold farming. Gamers the whole world ‘round pay big money for the credits in order to gain control over their favorite games. One game the Chinese inmates were allegedly forced to play was “World of Warcraft,” a renowned dork magnet of a game played by pale, pasty, never-kissed-a-girl losers in countries near and far. The job they did for no pay is one that many free members of society do for a living, but the threat of being beaten or denied food or other modest prison amenities was clearly the motivation for these free laborers. Not that the image of same worn out, dirty and demoralized prisoner being dropped in a chair in front of a flat screen for 12-hour gaming sessions is that far beyond the sort of human rights oppression one would expect from China, but it does show that there are likely many different methods of oppression going on there that no one has found out about just yet…………


- The economy may be having a terrible year, states around the country might be suffering through some of the worst weather in decades and America’s currency and overall international reputation may be taking a beating, but at least one entity in the United States is having a banner year in 2011: measles. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced in a report this week that 2011 is one of the worst years for measles since 1996. The CDC is seizing on the outbreak as an opportunity to remind the public to get immunized against the possibly deadly disease even though the public will undoubtedly ignore that advice. After scoring big with its hurricane preparedness campaign by linking it to the idea of a zombie apocalypse, the CDC is playing it straight with measles. The raw numbers are fairly disturbing, as a higher rate of infection this year has resulted in 118 measles cases across 23 states in the period from January 1 to May 21. In a normal year, the average number of measles cases in 56. The outbreak is especially disturbing given that the CDC declared measles “eliminated” in 2000. Additionally, the agency thought it had zeroed in one the cause of any cases that have occurred since then, attributing them to people travelling abroad and bringing the disease home. That assessment actually fits well with an outbreak of the disease worldwide. In France, a whopping 10,000 cases of measles have been reported from January through April. Measles, for the uninformed, is an illness easily spread and contracted because it is airborne and can remain in droplet form for up to two hours in closed spaces. To prevent its contraction, the CDC recommends immunization for infants from six to eleven months with the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine. Anyone one year old and older needs two doses of the vaccine received at least 28 days apart before travelling. Those unfortunate enough to be infected will get symptoms that include rashes, fever, muscle pain, pink eye and sore throat. For an unfortunate few, measles can also lead to complications such as pneumonia or encephalitis. So far, measles has failed in only one respect in the U.S. in 2011: it hasn’t killed anyone, although 40 percent of people with the disease have had to be hospitalized…………


- Ink is forever. It’s why any good tattoo parlor will make sure a person a) is sober and b) gives final approval before tatting up. Dallas Mavericks guard Jason Terry was both sober and in his right mind when he went under the needle prior to the season and he was also supremely confident. In fact, he was so confident that on Oct. 19, 2010 -- a day before a preseason game against the Orlando Magic -- when teammate DeShawn Stevenson had a get-together for his Mavericks teammates at his house and brought his chef and his personal tattoo artist for the players as a team unity exercise, Terry made an extremely bold move. Not bold in the way that Stevenson is bold - his chest, neck and arms are covered with tattoos and he has a bitchin’ Abraham Lincoln tattoo on the front of his neck - but bold in a way that wowed his teammates. Terry got ink of the Larry O'Brien Trophy, given to the winner of the NBA championship, on his right biceps. It was a bold proclamation of his expectations for the veteran-laden Mavs, one that had even Stevenson doing a double take. "When he first got the tattoo, I said he was crazy," Stevenson said of the tattoo. "I didn't say it to him. But I've never been to the [NBA Finals], and for him to have that now. Wow. And he got that tattoo in October, and it means a lot with what we've been through." The tattoo story resurfaced Wednesday night following the Mavericks' 100-96 victory over the Oklahoma City Thunder that advanced them to the NBA Finals. It’s the second NBA Finals appearance in franchise history and Terry was on hand for the only other one in 2006. He said he got the tattoo because he had an inkling his team was destined to play for the championship. "Everybody laughed and they thought it was a joke at the time," Terry said of the tat on the inside of his arm. "When they actually see me get it, they were like, 'This boy is serious.' And our whole talk and conversation was about right now, about us getting to this point and winning it all." The Mavs have an excellent chance to do exactly that against the winner of the Eastern Conference finals between Chicago and Miami, with the series starting in one week. Should they finish the task, the tattoo will become that much more legendary, both in the Mavs locker room and beyond…………