Bulldozing Spanish history, the demise of "X Factor" karaoke and Buffalo basketball criminals

- Being a big fish in a small, hell hole of a pond apparently wasn’t enough for University at Buffalo star forward Justin Moss. Moss was the Mid-American Conference Player of the Year last season after averaging 17.5 points and 9.2 rebounds and helped lead the Bulls to the NCAA tournament for the first time in school history, but he won't be around to help new coach Nate Oats in defense of Buffalo’s MAC title. That would be because Moss and two of his teammates took what should have been a great opportunity to make some extra cash doing handy work at the university and turned it into a criminal affair. Moss and two teammates were caught back in early June stealing $650 from the dorm room of two football players, a theft they carried out after being hired by the school to change out smoke detectors and do other work in the dorms. Nothing says intelligence quite like being on the verge of playing your way into a promising career playing professional basketball in a year or two and flushing that chance down the drain so you and your boys can pilfer beer money from other athletes’ dorm rooms. Maybe Moss intentionally got himself dismissed from school because he couldn’t bear being left behind by his drama queen diva/chronic bitcher of a former coach, Bobby Hurley, who bolted Buffalo after last season for a much better gig at Arizona State. Moss and the two other players involved -- Raheem Johnson and Mory Diane -- returned the money, but the case was turned over to the school's judicial board. Johnson and Diane have been suspended, as was Moss, but Moss lost his appeal and is now gone. Great judgment, Moss, great judgment………..

- Another fight, another loss for you, socially stunted ignoramuses desperately trying to cling to an era when it was legal to discriminate against people on the basis of race and treat black folks like they were less than human. Not only did South Carolina finally rip down the Confederate flag at its statehouse, but Texas has gone and removed its own symbol of the Confederacy from its prominent place on the campus of the state’s largest university. Despite the best efforts of the stuck-in-the-1860s tools of  the Sons of Confederate Veterans, a statue of Confederate president Jefferson Davis has been removed from its place on the campus of the University of Texas at Austin. The Confederate heritage group, which is another way of saying we have a disturbing level of reverence for an era when plantations were the Fortune 500 companies of the day and enslaving people was still a thing, made an appeal to prevent the university from removing the statue from its place near the university's iconic clock tower. University President Greg Fenves recently announced that the relic of a bygone and ugly time would be moved to a museum, a move in response to the fact that the statue has become a target of vandalism as well as criticism that it is a symbol of racism and discrimination. A judge last week ruled against the lawsuit to keep the statue in place and with a growing wave of support sweeping the United States to eliminate all Confederate symbols from mainstream culture, this likely won't be the last such situation Americans deal with. It should be great to see you all keep fighting a losing battle to keep one of the ugliest times in our nation’s history alive, Confederate sycophant kooks………

- Is the world finally getting it? It only took a decade and a half, but it appears that reality karaoke TV shows are finally receiving the lack of attention they should have been getting all along. With “American Karaoke (Idol)” on its long-overdue final season in the United States, “X Facator Karaoke” is having major issues of its own across the Atlantic. Ratings for the sorry show Simon Cowell built have fallen by almost 2 million from 2014, with the Season 12 premiere of the show’s British incarnation debuting Saturday with Cowell and Cheryl Fernandez-Versini joined on the judging panel by new additions Rita Ora and Nick Grimshaw. In spite of the hype and promotional buzz, the premiere attracted 7.11 million viewers compared to almost 9.5 million who watched the first episode of the 11th season. ITV director Peter Fincham is clearly looking for a scapegoat and has singled out the BBC with accusations that the network is playing a "game" wherein it deliberately schedules “Strictly Come Dancing” against “X Factor Karaoke.” Yes, a reality dancing show versus a reality karaoke show is what the world has come to. In recent years, “Strictly Come Dancing” has blown right by “X Factor” in the ratings and when the two shows overlap on Saturday night, “X Factor” tends to tumble in the numbers. "I don't know why [the BBC] did that, but it feels a bit like, 'Let's try to see if we can clip The X Factor's wings'," Fincham whined during a panel at the Edinburgh International Television Festival. "This really matters to us, because we are a commercial business. I know from my own time at the BBC that this is a bit of a game. All the evidence we have from our audiences is that they don't want the two to overlap. It's perfectly possible for them not to overlap." Bro, quit bitching and accept the fact that your terrible show has finally worn out its welcome. Go away quietly and find an empty corner of the room into which your wannabe karaoke-ers can sing………

- Umm, about that heritage-protected Stone Age monument in the village of Ardesende, located in northwestern Spain….can we not talk about that? Mayor Jose Luis Valladares Fernandez would prefer that everyone just forget about that monument because it kinda, sorta doesn’t exist anymore and a picnic table may or may not have been put in its place. Technically, the mayor denies his town council destroyed the historically important, 6,000-year-old Neolithic burial site so it could create a place for folks to pour a glass of sangria and snack on some tapas, but a dispute has blown up after an environmental protection group reported to the region's Environment and Planning office the destruction of the historic site. The group claims the monument, whose granite structure formed an ancient burial chamber, is listed by the regional government's heritage directorate, but Fernandez and his regime are firmly denying that there is no record "those stones" were catalogued. You know, because if you pretend to have no record of the site existing, you have to be telling the truth. Locals in the town claim the stones came from the demolition years ago of a building that residents called "the Big House,” so at least the townsfolk are rallying behind their leader in his attempt to sweep a pretty offensive, low-end infrastructure development under the rug. Just to be safe, it might be wise to stake out any remaining historical sites in Ardesende to make sure that a bulldozer isn't currently rolling toward them……….

Cap'N Crunch v. getting to work on time, don't come at the Moroccan king and blaming Fred Durst

- Just one more thing to blame Fred Durst for. The entire back catalog from his über-crappy nu metal “band” is enough cause to despise this d-bag in a wife beater and red, backwards New York Yankees hat, but now Durst is claiming that he and Limp Bizkit are responsible for Guns 'N Roses members/mortal enemies Axl Rose and Slash burying the hatchet enough to cash grab, er, perform together again. Durst made his outrageous claims during the Reading Festival, opening with their one song that anyone knows, “Rollin’” before launching into a slew of forgettable songs with Durst mixing it up wardrobe-wise in a blue baseball cap and grey tracksuit. At some point in the show, a guitar solo from Guns ‘N Roses’ classic “Sweet Child O' Mine” was tossed into the mix and Durst let the world know that his band was behind Guns 'N Roses reuniting. "I'd like you to know that we're responsible for Axl and Slash being back together," Durst told the crowd. "We had a meeting and it went really well." Yes, you’re a regular Kofi Annan, Durst. You get feuding rock stars together in the same room and magically, your wisdom makes their disputes disappear. Either that or Durst forced both men to listen to “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water” on a loop until they both caved and agreed to do whatever he wanted as long as he made the bad, bad sounds stop immediately. Perhaps this is an amazing bit of good news for the world, a way we can solve more of our impossible disputes merely by threatening the torture of Durst and his bandmates……….

- You come at the king, you best not miss. Especially if that king is an actual kind of a real country and one wiling to press charges against you if you attempt to blackmail him by demanding 3 million euros ($3.4 million) in exchange for not publishing a compromising new book about him. The wit and wisdom of “The Wire” is clearly lost on French writers Eric Laurent and Catherine Graciet, who were issued preliminary extortion charges on accusations that they tried to blackmail Moroccan King Mohammed VI. The Paris prosecutor's office announced that this dynamic writing duo were released under judicial supervision after being given the charges and yet the case against them is just getting interesting. A French lawyer for the king said the journalists demanded the king’s random from Mohammed VI, but their scam unraveled quickly when the king didn’t, you know, bow to the pressure of two foreigners and instead contacted law enforcement, which set up a sting operation that soon took Graciet and Laurent down. It wasn’t a huge stunner that these tools tried to extort the king, as they are known for their critical writings about the Moroccan leader. The case has become a major focal point in Morocco, where the monarchy is considered above criticism. Take a run at a country’s king and it’s funny how the people there come to hate you and want to see your head on a pike, paraded through the streets of Casablanca for all to see. Better luck next time, you wacky French extortionists…….. 

- How bad does the state of a college football program have to be for a Division I university to fire its head coach one week before the start of the season? Ask the University of Illinois, where university officials dropped the guillotine on coach Tim Beckman amid allegations of influencing medical decisions and pressuring players to play hurt. The Fighting Illini broke off a coach who was an awful 12-25 -- and 4-20 in Big Ten play -- in three seasons at Illinois and they’re going to try to screw him out of the $3.1 million remaining on the final two years of his five-year contract, so it’s not as if there are any immediate benefits for the school whatsoever….right? Athletic director Mike Thomas announced the move, issuing a statement that said the dismissal was related to preliminary results of an external review into the allegations, which also included efforts to avoid reporting players' injuries. Beckman took just a few seconds to fire back, denouncing the allegations as "utterly false" and suggesting he might take legal action. The embattled former coach called g the decision to fire him "a rush to judgment that confirms the university's bad faith." "I firmly deny the implications in Mike's statements that I took any action that was not in the best interests of the health, safety and well-being of my players," Beckman said in a statement. His downfall began when former offensive lineman Simon Cvijanovic initially made allegations on Twitter in May, prompting the university to investigate. What that investigation found is still to be announced, but it’s clear that there are some ugly skeletons in that closet if a firing happens eight days before kickoff………..

- How is admitting you were late for work 111 times in two years and blaming it on Toucan Sam a thing? That’s a question to ask Arnold Anderson, a New Jersey elementary school teacher who was allowed to keep his job despite hitting triple digits in tardy arrivals and said he couldn’t get to work on time because he has “a bad habit of eating breakfast in the morning, and I lost track of time.” Bro, you’ve been a teacher for 15 years and during that time, the smartphone has both been invented and provided responsible, non-moronic adults with several dozen ways of keeping track of time and setting alarms and alerts letting them know if they need to leave or take a particular action. Amazingly, this ignorant asshole got to keep his job when an arbitrator in New Jersey rejected an attempt by the Roosevelt Elementary School in New Brunswick to fire him from his $90,000-a-year job was wrong because he was entitled to progressive discipline. While the arbitrator also criticized Anderson's claim that the quality of his teaching outweighed his tardiness, letting a guy keep his gig when he can't master the alarm function on his iPhone or bring his quality time with Cap’N Crunch to a prompt ending is just poor form for an arbitrator. This tool was late 46 times in the most recent school year through March 20 and 65 times in the previous school year, although Anderson said he was one to two minutes late to school "at the most" but was prepared and was never late for class. "I have to cut out eating breakfast at home," he said. The school year is underway and will be sans Anderson until Jan. 1, meaning his students will have half a year with a teacher who can actually cook and eat scrambled eggs in sufficient time to get to school before the first bell. For now, Anderson keeps his gig because of a loophole he used to argue that the district failed to provide him with due process by not providing him with a formal notice of inefficiency or giving him 90 days to correct his failings before terminating his employment………..

Ripping college athletes' $$, dudes packing heat in their drawers and Albania attacks stoners

- Dammit, Albania. Much of the world is clued into the fact that ganja isn't nearly as big a danger as it has long been made out to be, but you seem to be oblivious to the fact that stoners are a threat to no one. If Albania knew this, its law enforcement officials would not have confiscated about half a million cannabis plants this year, arresting 240 suspected growers and drug traffickers. Interior Ministry spokesman Ardi Bita actually seemed proud of those numbers this week when he rolled them out and announced that fighting drug production is a "top priority" for police. Interior Minister Saimir Tahiri’s office announced that some 7 billion euros ($7.9 billion) worth of marijuana has been seized and destroyed so far, which is a whole lot of blunts, bowls and bong rips for stoners who are just looking to chill, relax and get baked. Just this week, 100 police officers destroyed some 16,000 plants in Kurvelesh, south of Tirana. Albania, a small country in eastern Europe, has long outproduced its small geographic size and played a big role as one of the largest marijuana producers in Europe. That began to change last year when a major crackdown began, marked by police storming the southern Lazarat village with armored personnel carriers. Drug growers weren't about to cede an inch of ground or an ounce of pot even to the law and returned fire with automatic weapons and rockets. Prime Minister Edi Rama has set the fight against drugs as a main priority for his government, elected in 2013, and that fight remains as nasty as ever………

- How about a bonus season of your favorite show in a single year, “American Horror Story” fans? Show  co-creator Ryan Murphy tossed out a major teaser for the popular FX series when he said it could return for two separate seasons next year.  Of course, fans are still waiting to delve into the show’s fifth season, “American Horror Story: Hotel,” this fall, but hearing that not one, but two new seasons could be in the offing is encouraging news. Lady Gaga is but one of several additions for this season, but Murphy and co-creator Brad Falchuk are already planning for what’s next. "Next year we might do a fall American Horror Story and a spring. We have to decide," Murphy said. "We're doing something that we've never done before on the show where we're doing two different groups of writers rooms. Some of our writers will be bouncing around but a whole different group are coming in late August. The next thing we're crafting up is very, very different than this. Not smaller. But just not opulent. More rogue and more dark." Everything around the show seems positive at this point, as the fourth season, “American Horror Story: Freak Show,” has been nominated for 19 Emmy awards - second only to “Game Of Thrones.” Any time you’re battling “Thrones” in any awards show context, you’re doing something right. Both shows are dark, edgy and bloody, so it seems that America isn’t so much into happiness and sunshine in a dark world when it comes to its top entertainment choices these days………..

- A lot of dudes will brag about for power and potency of what they’re packing in their underpants. Pittsburgh resident Eietyoung Kemp is one dude who can actually make those claims and back them up, although doing so will have to wait until he’s prosecuted and punished for allegedly killing one of his friends in an accidental shooting in which he was allegedly adjusting a gun he kept in his underwear when it went off and shot his buddy. There are so many questions here, including who keeps a gun tucked in their drawers, but the sheer bad fortune necessary not only to squeeze off a round from that Fruit of the Loom-based handgun, but to avoid blowing your own junk or part of your leg off and instead fire a shot so ill-placed that it kills a friend is mind-blowing. Kemp faces charges including criminal homicide and carrying a firearm without a license in the death of Robert Alston. Kemp told police he was riding to a party with Alston and two other friends over the weekend and was sitting in the back seat when he adjusted his trouser cannon and  it fired through the front seat, hitting Alston. Clearly, Kemp ignored the old adage that if you feel like you need to pack heat at a party you’re going to, that’s a party you don’t need to be at. After manslaughtering one of his friends with two witnesses, Kemp said he panicked, ran away and threw the gun in the Allegheny River. He finally surrendered to police five days after the incident and will now learn how much of his life he just ruined………..

- It’s amazing how quickly college football coaches moved into “take it away” mode after their players were granted stipend money to cover cost-of-living expenses by the NCAA. First came news that Virginia Tech defensive coordinator Bud Foster had a moronic plan to fine his players if they were late for practice or meetings and the justified mockery of his idea had scarcely died down when Cincinnati coach Tommy Tuberville said he will consider withholding some cost of attendance money from players who fail to meet academic requirements or violate team rules or athletic department policies, including student code of conduct. "We are holding them accountable," Tuberville said. According to UC, the withheld money would be subject to an appeal. He was adamant that the penalties will be for off-the-field shortcomings only, not athletic performance. Cincinnati athletics director Mike Bohn insisted these aren't actually fines and are merely a “tool” that will “help our student-athletes.” How about you help them by not trying to rip some of that small amount of money they’re getting to help them out while you’re making millions of dollars - at least for your major sports - off their backs and names? Bohn mentioned academic fraud or drinking and driving two examples of offenses that could lead to a reduction in aid, and senior associate director of athletics Maggie McKinley, a voting member on NCAA regulation and overseer of the school's compliance office, said the language used in players' grant-in-aids expressly gives the school the ability to reduce or terminate the financial assistance if there are violations of department policy or student code of conduct policy. Cincinnati football players receive $5,504 to $7,018 per year in cost of attendance dollars, which will be among the highest in the country this season. All financial reduction decisions will be reviewed by an oversight committee and this actually fits in well with the fact that athletic scholarships also aren’t guaranteed, with schools renewing them each year and able to rip them from a player after any season if they so choose……….

Polish gold medal celebrations, how to ruin bad Batman movies and Nazi treasure train conspiracy theories

- Today is a damn good day to be Pawel Fajdek. It has just a little bit to do with the fact that the hammer thrower won gold at the World Athletics Championships in Beijing and much more to do with the way this champion likes to get down when it comes to celebrating his triumphs on the track. It seems that after dominating the field with a throw of more than 265 feet, Fajdek headed out for a night on the town and what happened from there depends upon who you ask. The official story is that Fajdek went out to a restaurant to celebrate and as a hearty Polish athlete with an affinity for hard liquor is wont to do, he poured a fair amount of adult beverages into his system. The night must have gotten a little hazy from there because after Fajdek finished celebrating and headed back to his hotel, he and his gold medal became separated somewhere along the way. When he sobered up and woke up the following morning, he realized he was sans medal and called police to seek their help in getting his trophy of athletic excellence back. Beijing police assisted Fajdek in the search and it didn’t take long to track the medal back to the taxi driver who took the thrower to his hotel the night before. That’s where the story gets good. The driver claimed the Polish athlete was willing to pay his fare with his gold medal, which totally sounds like the sort of deal a drunken, desperate dude lost in a foreign country would make at 1 a.m. when he has no other options.  "We tracked the taxi down after checking a large number of surveillance tapes in that area and got a hold of the driver. The driver then sent to the medal to his (Fajdek's) hotel. It only took an hour to sort the whole thing out," police officer Zhang Bo said. Reports quickly surface of Fajdek drunk at a party before losing his medal, but he disputed those reports on his Facebook page and said the taxi driver actually stole the medal after the two posed for a photo………

- When, oh when, will there be peace between two warring factions that are mortal enemies locked in an eternal struggle for mutually sacred territory both believe belongs to them? No, this isn't a musing on the war between Jews and Palestinians for Jerusalem’s holiest grounds, but the battle is heated nonetheless. It’s the showdown between the purveyors of greasy fast food, cheap toys and oversized soft drinks who fuel so much of America’s obesity epidemic - McDonald’s and Burger King. The two fast food titans duke it out daily for the stomachs of the world’s eaters, but in honor of National Burger Day in the United States, Burger King suggested that the two restaurants put aside their rivalry and make the McWhopper, a blend of the Big Mac and the Whopper, the best-selling burgers at McDonald’s and Burger King. The idea was to operate one restaurant for one day staffed by employees of both companies and selling the McWhopper to raise money for  Peace One Day, a nonprofit group seeking to raise awareness of the International Day of Peace, which was established by the United Nations General Assembly in 1981 for the opening of its annual meeting. Burger King took out ads in multiple national publications proposing the pop-up store Sept. 21 in a parking lot. Fernando Machado, the company’s senior vice president for global brand management, urged McDonald’s to help “make history and generate a lot of noise around Peace Day.” It seems like a reasonable idea to support a solid cause, so McDonald’s moved past pettiness and said yes, right? Of course not. “We love the intention but think our two brands could do something bigger to make a difference,” McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook said in a statement. My man, no you can’t. You’re McDonald’s, not Mahatma Gandhi. Swallow your pride - easier than swallowing the garbage that comes out of your kitchens - and accept the offer………..

- You were wrong if you thought that Tim Burton’s disastrous attempts at a Batman movie couldn’t have possibly been worse. The films Burton made, 1989’s “Batman,” 1992’s “Batman Returns,” were horribly acted, terribly written, had cheesy effects and lame plots, with Michael Keaton holding down the title role in the first two movies in some of the worst acting of his career and Val Kilmer taking the character to new lows for the final of the three movies. So how could these films possibly have been worse? If the first choice for the Batman role had said yes, that’s how. That first choice was Pierce Brosnan, who single-handedly attempted to murder the James Bond franchise with his stiff, stuffy portrayal of 007 in the few Bond films he was tasked with fronting. Brosnan mercifully rejected the Batman role after Burton approached him prior to the first of the three movies. The actor shot down the idea  "It was the beginning of these huge movies, and I just thought, Batman?" Brosnan said. "Batman held such an indelible place in my own childhood, but I said something flippant to Tim Burton like, 'Any guy who wears his underpants outside his trousers cannot be taken seriously.'” Yes because Brosnan’s many yeears of distinguished acting in great films like….umm….err….uh….never mind. Keaton ultimately took the gig and after his casting was announced, skeptical comic book fans sent more than 50,000 protest letters to Warner Bros. Those fans knew what they were talking about, but probably should have extended their anger toward everyone involved with three of not just the worst Batman movies ever made, but three of the worst superhero movies ever made. Keaton ultimately quit when Burton was  asked by Warner Bros. to relinquish the director's chair for 1995's “Batman Forever,” which did little to increase the quality of the movie but at least provided the temporary burst of hope that comes with a fresh start. It wasn’t until a decade later that Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale would bring much-needed quality back to Batman with their trio of movies that were so superior to Burton’s work that they almost seemed to occupy different cinematic universes………..

- Conspiracy theories and the kooks who spout them are awesome. Being out of touch with reality to the extent that you’re willing to wholeheartedly espouse and promote wild theories of some unknown adversary out ther being out to get you makes the world a more entertaining place, so men like Polish Deputy Culture Minister Piotr Zuchowski are world treasures. Zuchowski announced this week that he is "convinced" of the existence of a Nazi treasure train that has been missing for 70 years and which two men claim to have found recently. Petey Z also warned treasure hunters in southwestern Poland to stop looking for the "so-called `gold train"' because it could be mined and dangerous, which of course is going to stop no one at all. Local Polish legend has long held that a German train filled with gold, gems and armaments went missing around the city of Walbrzych while fleeing the Red Army in 1945 and predictably, treasure hunters have spent seven decades looking for it. Hell, during the communist era, the Polish army and security services even carried out fruitless searches for it. Earlier this month, two men, a Pole and a German, said they found a train with armaments and valuables that could be the long-lost mystery train. However, the meh have not provided any evidence of the train's existence. That didn’t stop Zuchowski from suggesting that there's something to the men's claims. “Inside the hidden train -- of whose existence I am convinced -- there could be dangerous materials from the time of World War II. There is a great chance that the train is mined," Zuchowski said in a statement. ." Dream big, eh Piotr? Dream big………

Baseball's asinine "code," kids v. valuable works of art and prison smuggling fails

- Score one for baseball’s arcane, mystical and impossible-to-decipher code of conduct. It’s infuriating to anyone who doesn’t play the game and even those inside of it seem to have a hard time explaining it, but it boils down to a set of unwritten rules of ethics and respect on the field that will cause an all-out brawl if the code is violated. Flipping your bat after a home run, making a dirty slide into a base or trying to cheat in an unacceptable way are all ways to violate the code and apparently, so is getting too angry about popping out to center field when your team is winning by nine runs in a late-season interleague game. That was the problem for Houston Astros outfielder Carlos Gomez, who sparked a no-punches-thrown fight during a 15-1 win over the New York Yankees all because he just missed a Chris Capuano pitch and disappointedly flipped his bat toward his own dugout as he flied out to center. He apparently showed too much emotion for some of the Yankees players and manager Joe Girardi and when some of those men objected, Gomez looked into the dugout and told them  to "shut up," causing the benches to clear in the sixth inning. Girardi said his players yelled something at Gomez and that the outfielder misunderstood, while Gomez claimed he was just looking to have those remarks clarified. "I did not understand very well what people were yelling at me," Gomez said. "I just asked, 'Why are you yelling at me?' And then someone came out of the dugout and started screaming, and I said, 'Shut up, shut up; if you want to tell me something, come here and say what you have to say.'" That this came with Houston up 9-0 seems to be much of the problem, but the Yankees need to dial it down a bit. Being too upset about a bad swing with a nine-run lead isn't a reason to fight; it’s a reason to be grateful because that same guy didn’t miss a pitch in his next at bat, when he blasted a three-run home run. So shut up, ditch the baseball code rhetoric and accept that you got your ass kicked………..

- It’s wonderfully ironic when free men and women outside the walls of a prison find themselves on the inside in orange jumpsuits because they just had to try to sneak something into the cell block for a friend. Sure, Terry in cell block B might be your boy or your favorite cousin, but do you really want to get caught trying to smuggle a baggie of weed or a smartphone into the jail for him and risk joining him in the exercise yard on a daily basis for your hour of outside time? Ask that question to two men in Maryland who tried to smuggle packets of K2 (or synthetic marijuana), tobacco, suboxone, pornographic DVDs and a handgun into the Western Correctional Institution in Cumberland with a crude drone. These ass hats were found Saturday on a side road that runs alongside the prison with their drone, according to the Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services. Their ill-fated plan never got off the ground because they were spotted before their drone could take flight. It seems the vehicle's owner had been under surveillance for some time and law enforcement  suspected the owner and his associate along with at least one inmate planned to use an unmanned drone to drop off contraband at the prison. "This is the first case in Maryland where a drone is suspected in a contraband delivery plot," state Public Safety and Correctional Services Secretary Stephen Moyer said. Corrections spokesman Mark Vernarelli confirmed that authorities are still investigating possible ties between the suspect and specific inmates, but one link they’re not going to find is anything tying the suspects to common sense or intelligence………….

- Thanks….maybe? It’s sweet that British electro-indie rockers Foals are giving away free cassette tapes of their new album 'What Went Down' ahead of its release on Aug. 28, but how the hell is anyone supposed to listen to it when no one actually has a cassette player these days? Handing a cassette tape to anyone under the age of 20 is like handing them a nuclear reactor and asking them to show you how it works. It’s borderline child abuse, but the spirit behind giving away free music is good - even if this giveaway isn't nearly as simple as reaching your hand out for the freebie. The Oxford-based outfit have launched a global treasure hunt for the tapes, hiding copies of the album at numerous locations worldwide and sharing the coordinates via social media. Muse pulled a similar stunt to promote one of their albums a few years ago and Foals have asked fans to share photos of the tapes once found while myopically asking those who find them not to digitize them and put them online. If that doesn’t happen, feel free to be amazed and also know that it probably has more to do with the people who find the tapes lacking the equipment and knowledge to digitize the music and upload it than it does with their willingness to respect the band’s wishes. Clues in the search have been placed in Madrid, Paris, Oslo, Amsterdam, Berlin and Hamburg for the successor to 2013’s “Holy Fire.” The new album was recorded in the south of France with Simian Mobile Disco’s James Ford (Arctic Monkeys, Klaxons, Mumford & Sons) and Foals have grown into a very respectable presence on the indie scene over the past five years, so getting creative in hyping their new album should help grease the skids for what was already a highly anticipated release………

- Damn kids. They’re a menace to good things and good people around the world and nowhere is that truer  right now than Taipei, where a 12-year-old boy just did the sort of damage to a valuable work of art that normally takes an adult-sized effort. The Taiwanese boy was visiting a Leonardo da Vinci-themed show in Taipei and during a tour, he did the one thing museum visitors of all ages around the world live in fear of doing lest they go viral for all the wrong reasons. The boy tripped while admiring the exhibits and when he put out his hand to steady himself, he tore a hole "the size of a fist" in a $1.5 million artwork. "The boy was probably too concentrated in listening to what the guide was saying, and therefore stumbled," said Sun Chi-hsuan, one of the exhibition's organizers. Wrecking a centuries-old painting at a busy exhibition is regrettable and so is the fact that the incident, at Taipei's Huashan 1914 creative arts center, was captured on closed-circuit television footage from inside the gallery. The ravaged work of art was "Flowers," by 17th-century Italian Baroque artist Paolo Porpora. It was one of 55 pieces on display in "The Face of Leonardo, Images of a Genius" exhibition - or at least it was until this brat and his lack of coordinated ruined it. Sun said the cost of repairs to the damaged painting would be covered by insurance, so the clumsy kid and his family won't even have to bear the financial burden for this one. "I'm actually thinking of asking the boy back to be a volunteer in the exhibition for one day," Sun said, "as a penalty." The painting will be restored by experts in Taipei, with the back mended first and the paints on the front side the final step. Credit the curators of the exhibit for being magnanimous and forgiving here, because they could have dropped the hammer on this twit………..

Reviving a Lakers has-been, Riot Watch! Argentina and Iron Maiden

- Well, at least this is an embarrassing story about the Catholic Church that doesn’t involve a grown man sexually abusing a child and ruining that child’s life for the next eight decades. Unfortunately, that’s where the non-negative news ends here. This is the story of Cardinal William Joseph Levada of Menlo Park, California, a former San Francisco archbishop and one of the highest-ranking American officials of the Roman Catholic Church, who apparently left his morals and his ability to hand his keys to a designated drive back on the mainland when he visited Hawaii recently. The cardinal was stopped while driving on the Big Island when a patrol officer saw him swerving all over Queen Kaahumanu Highway like his car was on roller skates. Levada was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving and released from jail after posting $500 bail and let’s just say that he’s not trying to pretend that he was wrongly accused of one of the most irresponsible and reprehensible non-murderous crimes a person can commit. To his very limited credit, Levada said in a statement issued through the Archdiocese of San Francisco that he regrets his error in judgment and intends to cooperate with authorities. My man, you may have begun serving as archbishop of San Francisco in 1995 and been a cardinal since 2006, but you just committed one of the cardinal sins of the road. Nothing screams moderation and faithfully adhering to God’s teachings quite like pounding one too many vodka tonics and getting behind the wheel when your already-subpar 79-year-old driving skills are further impeded by your BAC……….

- Can someone convince Bruce Dickinson to sit down and have a heart-to-hear chat with Harrison Ford before he goes ahead with his big plans for Iron Maiden’s forthcoming world tour? Ford is one of the most noteworthy amateur pilots in Hollywood and has crashed more than one non-Millennium Falcon aircraft in his time, so he’s the perfect person to talk to Dickinson about his plans of getting a license to fly the four-engine Boeing 747-400 jumbo jet that Black Sabbath plans to use for its upcoming world tour. The jet is almost twice the size and over three times the weight of the Boeing 757 the band used on previous tours and having a non-professional pilot steering that behemoth through the air is asking for trouble. The tour will be in support of “The Book of Souls,” Iron Maiden’s first new studio album in five years. The album will drop on Sept. 4 and the tour is expected next year, with their bulky beast of aerial burden carrying the entire line-up, crew and over 12 tons of equipment more than 50,000 miles as that motley crew crisscrosses the globe. While no official list of tour dates and stops has been announced, the tour is set to commence in the United States in late February with the plane, dubbed “Ed Force One,” scheduled to be ready to go with Dickinson at the controls. Whether Iron Maiden will survive the tour is another matter entirely, but traversing 35 countries across six continents will make for quite the adventure for the over-the-hill rockers………

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Who’s to blame in Argentina after protests over alleged vote fraud in a northern province were broken up with tear gas and rubber bullets? Trick question! It doesn’t matter who’s to blame; all that matters is that the country got to enjoy some wonderfully violent clashes that further escalated  tension ahead of October elections. But because this is politics and pointing fingers and shifting blame is the default response, top presidential candidates in Argentina and other government officials exchanged accusations about who was to blame for what they wrongly labeled a debacle. Cabinet chief Anibal Fernandez suggested that foreign elements from "up north" had organized the uprisings, which came to a screeching, disappointing halt when police fired on people and forcefully removed them from the main square of San Miguel de Tucuman, about 807 miles north of Buenos Aires. Mauricio Macri, the leading opposition candidate for October's presidential election, chose to throw out his conspiracy theory that it's impossible to say the gubernatorial election in Tucuman was clean when at least 40 ballot boxes had been burned. "We can't say that this was a normal election," said Macri. "Burning a polling place in the 21st century is unacceptable." There was no shortage of differing viewpoints after this mess, with ruling party presidential candidate Daniel Scioli claiming that protesters and politicians simply didn't want to accept that ruling party candidate Juan Manzur won the election. According to the official results, Manzur won with 54 percent of the vote compared to 40 percent for Jose Cano, the closest contender. Various involved parties claimed to be either asleep during the riots or simply ignorant of what happened, but the truth is that none of that matters. Riots happened, dissent was voice and The Man was put on notice that this election process is far from over………..

- In case you missed it, the Los Angeles Lakers sucked last season. They went 21-61 and had the fourth-worst record in the NBA with a roster of never-were’s so deprived of talent than they nearly forced the league to adopt European soccer’s system of relegation for the teams that suck more than humanly possible. They figure to be almost as bad this season with an aged-out, on-his-last-leg Kobe Bryant coming back as their best player and 2014 first-round pick Julius Randle trying to round back into form after tearing up his knee as a rookie before playing in a single regular-season game. L.A.’s 2015 first-round pick, guard DeAngelo Russell, may help a bit but it’s clear that a loaded Western Conference will leave the Lakers in the dust as they grasp in vain for the eighth and final playoff spot next spring. Faced with another lost season, what is one of the most storied franchises in NBA history to do? How about bringing back a broken-down, has-been relic of its past and hope that a guy nearly two decades into his NBA career can suddenly find the fountain of youth? Come on down, free agent forward Metta World Peace. World peace, who played four seasons with the Lakers from 2009-13, is reportedly close to signing a one-year contract with the Lakers. Bryant is reportedly supportive of the idea and World Peace has been in the Lakers' practice facility this offseason playing against the team's players, so he seems to be head in the direction of finding his first NBA job since the New York Knicks waived him during the 2013-14 season. But hell, any time you can throw down a couple million dollars for a guy who balled off the edge of the map in China and Italy last season, that’s an investment you have to make………

Prison beard wars, USC's SoCo-loving coach and who doesn't want to join Metallica

- Millions of metal guitarists in the world would commit actual violent crimes for the chance to shred with Metallica. Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine is not among them and it’s not simply because he already has a solid gig with an equally successful - perhaps not in the area of being a commercial sellout - metal act. No, metal historians will remember Mustaine was the original lead guitarist in the legendary thrash-metal band before he was fired in 1983 because, in an ironic twist given how top bands of that era operated, he had major troubles with alcohol abuse and clashes with his fellow members. Metallica scarcely missed a beat as Mustaine was replaced by Kirk Hammett, who has remained with the group ever since. In a great case of both parties in a less-than-amicable split ending up benefitting from their divorce, Mustaine later went on to form Megadeth with bassist David Ellefson and his career has been impressive in its own right. The idea of returning to the band from whence he was fired came in the dicey, always unpredictable (and usually disastrous) wasteland that its celebrities hosting question-and-answer sessions on Twitter. Mustaine settled in with his laptop and some queries from the great unwashed and early on, he was asked whether he would be interested in rejoining Metallica if asked. Mustaine replied: "I would be honored [to be asked], but I would not." Not content with that answer, another fan asked about a possible collaboration with Metallica on a one-off basis and he dodged that one easily before characterizing Metallica frontman Lars Ulrich as “a friend.” Sounds like the metal maniac is well-versed in the politics of music………

- Nice try, Roman security officials. After the sh*t hit the fan following last week's funeral procession for reputed mafia chieftain Vittorio Casamonica, police took massive public hit for allowing such an elaborate event in honor of someone who (allegedly) spent his life flouting so many rules and laws. The funeral included a gilded horse-drawn carriage and the "Godfather" theme music, along with a helicopter that swooped down to shower rose petals during the church funeral. It was a decadent event befitting someone who wasn’t responsible for the deaths of many and as such, it deeply embarrassed Roman officials. That left Prefect Franco Gabrielli to explain how authorities could possibly have given approval for such a show and wouldn’t you know it, he had a ready-made explanation that smelled like a pile of horse crap and tasted even worse. Rome's top security official tried to claim police were aware of plans for a flashy funeral send-off,  but underestimated how outrageous it would be. Yes, because mafia bosses are renowned for their tasteful events and understated style. How the hell did any of you think it would go? The real stunner here is that no one is going to lose their job, although Italy's interior minister said he will ultimately decide if any "heads will roll, starting with mine." Rolling heads, ironically, were one of the few finishing touches not included in the funeral for the prominent member of a family who s migrated generations ago from the countryside to Rome. They remain Rome's richest and most dangerous local gangsters, specializing in loansharking………

- No one should be surprised that USC head football coach Steve Sarkisian got liquored up used foul language and insulted other programs in a very public setting at the team’s annual Salute to Troy event. The event is essentially a launch party for the new season and gives rich, entitled and extremely arrogant boosters a chance to jock sniff and pretend that giving massive sums of money makes them part of a team, all with lots of free alcohol mixed in. Sarkisian clearly partook of that free booze in between glad-handing boosters and hearing all about how much they want him to win a national championship every season. He buddied around with Captain Morgan, Jack Daniels and Southern Comfort enough that by the team he got on stage to address the crowd, he dropped an expletive and disparaged USC opponents, saying "they all suck" about a number of Pac-12 schools. It became ugly enough that athletic director Pat Haden had to intervene and pull Sarkisian off the stage so he could berate him behind the scenes. "I sincerely apologize to my players and staff and to our fans for my behavior and my inappropriate language at our kickoff event Saturday night," Sarkisian said in a statement released by the school.  "I have a responsibility to all of them and I let them down. Pat Haden talked to me after the event about my actions and I assured him this will not happen again." It better not happen again because a coach who went 9-4 last season doesn’t really have the standing to get away with that sort of nonsense. Back in the day, former coach Pete Carroll could have gone streaking through the Salute To Troy, puked into a $50,000 vase and done bong rips right on stage and no one would have cared because Carroll won national titles and went undefeated every other year. Step your game up, Sark……….

- Beards: They’re not just fashion statement for Williamsburg hipsters to top off their skinny jeans, Chuck Taylors and flannel look. They can also be a point of extreme contention between a liberal northeastern state and a prisoner who believes that rocking some Grizzly Adams-worthy facial hair is a fundamental right that trumps the law. This is the story of the battle between Frank Staples and the state of New Hampshire  after Staples was placed in secure housing for failing to shave his thick, bushy beard in violation of prison rules. Staples, a Taoist, maintains a thick, full-length beard that he sees as part of his religious freedom, but which prison officials interpret as a violation of their rules that inmates can have a beard no longer than a quarter inch for security reasons. Yes, stashing shivs and other contraband in beards is apparently still a thing and it’s enough of a thing that Staples was denied parole once because his beard landed him in the Special Housing Unit. He was granted parole in June but remains in SHU until his post-release plan is approved after a federal judge in July ordered prison officials to give  him a lower security classification and transfer him to a less restrictive housing unit pending the outcome of his religious rights lawsuit. Perhaps the most wonderfully bureaucratic part of this entire mess is that this situation won't be resolved in anything close to resembling expedient fashion. No, in true government fashion it will drag on for several more months until the arrival of that December trial date the judge set. By that time, Staple could cut and re-grow that beard several times, although that would defeat the (alleged) purpose of allowing a person to hide all manner of illicit items inside the hirsute covering on their face. Let’s just hope this situation does what prison is intended to do, teaching Staples a valuable lesson that will make him a better person and member of society for when he’s finally released back into the wild……..

New Mexico losers, Foo Fighters' epic Rick Roll and Guatemalan corruption fun

- Sh*t just got real in Guatemala, real enough that you should probably look up Guatemala on a map because odds are you have no idea where it is. Once you’ve addressed your geographic knowledge deficiencies, settle in and hear the tale of a crumbling government buckling beneath the weight of a growing corruption scandal. Today, it’s news that two Guatemalan Cabinet ministers and a presidential appointee have resigned to protest said corruption scandal, which is big enough that it is now threatening the presidency of Otto Perez Molina. The ministers of the economy and education and Perez Molina's commissioner for competitiveness - an actual job, it seems - all announced their resignations over the weekend and not coincidentally, all three officials have ties to Guatemala's business chambers, which have called on Perez Molina to resign. Former economy minister Sergio de la Torre lobbed a massive scud at his former boss, saying, “We can no longer continue in this government," after ex-vice president Roxana Baldetti was detained Friday in connection with a customs corruption scandal that is believed to have defrauded the state of millions of dollars. Ripping off the government of an impoverished nation is a pretty f*cking shady move and after Attorney General Thelma Aldana said it is "highly probable that the president of the republic may have participated" in the corruption ring, the days of the Perez Molina regime have to be numbered in the single digits at this point. But hey, it was a fun and lucrative/illegally good ride while it lasted………..

- In a lot of ways, social media makes the world a better place. In an equal number of ways, social media is the worst thing to happen to us all. One prominent entry in the latter category is the fact that no feat or accomplishment can simply be enjoyed for what it is without legions of Internet trolls trying to tear it down or prove why it’s not legit. File Houston Astros right-hander Mike Fiers’ 134-pitch no-hitter against the Los Angeles Dodgers under that heading because no sooner had Fiers wrapped up his historic outing than Twitter lit up with the words of those speculating that d he had an illegal substance on his glove during the 3-0 win. Fiers quickly shot down speculation that began when photos on social media showed a blown-up image of what appeared to be a shiny substance on the glove. "I mean, you can try to pick out a lot of things through a lot of games," Fiers said the day after his outing. "I don't know what they are talking about. It could be a different lighting or camera angle or a lot of things. I don't know." Not really a convincing explanation, but iers said he had not been contacted by Major League Baseball. Astros manager A.J. Hinch had his pitcher’s back, as is to be expected. "Last night was about Mike Fiers being a really good major league pitcher, and he had a great accomplishment," Hinch said. "Anything that takes away from that is unfortunate, unless there's this massive proof." Massive proof? Not really something Twitter trolls worry about……….. 

- Congrats, losers of Valencia County, New Mexico. You may think you have something to celebrate, but you are wrong. Oh, so wrong. You’re merely the latest group of tools to be falsely inspired by the Guinness Book of World Records to attempt a truly pointless and worthless feat of insignificance merely for the sake of attempting a truly pointless and worthless feat of insignificance. In this case, more than 30 chefs at Viva II, a three-day celebration of the state's heritage, assembled a 116-foot. 7-inch long tamale at the Valencia County fairgrounds in Belen. The ingredients were provided by Bueno Foods and included 120 pounds of masa and 50 pounds of green chili, all of which cannot possibly match the weight of the shame anyone associated with this charade should carry with them for the rest of their lives. How far did these ass hats go to best the previous longest tamale assembled, which happened in Cancun, Mexico and measured a little longer than 66 feet? Far enough that a local manufacturer of home improvement material designed a special steamer out of aluminum to cook the tamale in. Luis Hernandez of the ABQ West Chamber of Commerce, doing what chamber of commerce members do by promoting local business chicanery in the most over-the-top way possible, said the team plans to submit all the required documentation to Guinness World Records to get official recognition for the achievement and if they get that record, you can best bet there will be truly ridiculous signs, plaques and trophies cooked up to make sure that no one ever forgets one of the most worthless days in the history of Valencia County………

- Never have the dulcet tones of punch-line-favorite ‘80s pop music hack Rick Astley sounded so sweet. Many a too-good-to-be-true Internet video tease has given way to Astley’s iconically bad “Never Gonna Give You Up,” but the bait-and-switch known as a Rick Roll came to life  outside Foo Fighters' gig in Kansas City, Missouri, where Dave Grohl and his bandmates met an old adversary and dressed said foe down in style. The enemy in this case was the ugly, deplorable, despicable hatemongers of Westboro Baptist Church. You may remember these scumbags as the supposed Christians who represent nothing that Christianity is supposed to be about and instead channel all their energy into spreading a message of hate and intolerance, specifically toward homosexuals. When they’re not demeaning and disrespecting the lives of service members killed in the line of duty by holding anti-gay protests at said service members’ funerals, the Westbozo congregation is showing up at places like rock concerts with the same heinous message. Thus, them being outside the Foo Fighters’ show and thus the band’s response of riding out to meet the protesters in the back of a pick-up truck, blasting “Never Gonna Give You Up” on a loudspeaker and holding signs reading 'Keep It Clean' and 'You got Rickroll'd (again).’ After seeing the band fire an hilarious shot at the Westbozos, a cheering crowd of Foo Fighters fans surrounded the truck and clapped as the band danced inside. The protestors were drowned out in the process and of course, the entire incident was captured on video and soon made its way online so the world could revel in its hilarity. It’s actually not the first time Foo Fighters have done battle with the Westbozos. Back in August 2011, the band rode out in costume and sang “Keep It Clean” at protestors from the “church.” Let’s keep this battle rolling because it’s a rout for opponents of hate and bigotry………

P.T. Anderson + Radiohead, Mexico v. bullfighting and NBA owners extorting taxpayers

- Money well spent, Mark Lasry and Wesley Edens, money well spent. The extremely wealthy and entitled owners of the Milwaukee Bucks just extorted their home state for $250 million in taxpayer money for a new stadium for the team when they could easily afford to fund the entire project themselves - and should - and while plunking down $482,000 on lobbying efforts through June to win over state legislators they needed to vote in favor of their charitable donation from a state that clearly has more pressing financial needs is a big number, the return on that investment clearly justifies it. The Bucks spent more money lobbying the Wisconsin Legislature than any other organization during the first half of the year, proving that when the dollar signs are dancing in the eyes of billionaires who purchased an NBA team as a luxury item so they could be part of the exclusive club of professional sports team owners, there is nothing they won't do to make sure they cash that check. The disturbing details of the money spent pushing for approval of a new basketball arena came with the release of a report by the state elections board, which oversees lobbying. It credits the Bucks for blowing right by the Wisconsin Hospital Association, which doled out $379,000 to bribe, wine and dine lawmakers to vote in favor of bills favorable to Big Health Care. Gov. Scott Walker took time off from his faltering presidential campaign to approve the stadium bill and by the time the next report on lobbying expenditures is released at the end of the year with figures for July - when the bill passed both houses - should soar well past the half-million-dollar mark. Hope you feel good about yourself, Wisconsin……….

- The matadors are under attack and this time, their opponents haven't been preemptively stabbed behind their muscular shoulder joint to wound them before the battle begins. No, this isn't a story about Spain, where bullfighting remains a massive part of the culture and where a few select parts of the country have decided that the sport is too barbaric to continue. This one comes from the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, where a third Mexican state has banned bullfighting after a concerted campaign by animal rights groups. The decision came down from the congress of the northern state of Coahuila, which took a final vote on the matter late last week. It was great news for the bill’s supporters in the Green Party, but the bill actually passed with the support of the majority of the representatives from the governing Institutional Revolutionary Party. Don’t look for any future resistance on the issue from the government after Coahuila's governor said prior to the legislative debate that bullfights are barbaric and most of the state's citizens oppose them. Sonora set the pace on the issue back in 2013, when it became the first Mexican state to ban bullfights. Guerrero followed in 2014, with critics all following the same script, claiming that it is inhumane that the bull is first weakened and partially incapacitated by horsemen and others before the bullfighter enters to make the kill with a sword. Yes, but every now and then some idiot in a funny hat and waving a red sheet gets what he has coming to him from an angry bull and on those days, the world seems a slightly more just place………

- Really, they’re a perfect match. Paul Thomas Anderson is a screenwriter, director and producer with a knack for long, sprawling and overly self-important projects and Jonny Greenwood is the lead guitarist for one of the most high-minded, self-important bands in the history of rock and roll. The two have worked together before and it only makes sense that Anderson is currently putting the finishing touches on a documentary about Greenwood. He followed the Radiohead guitarist on a recording session in Rajasthan in northwest India, where Greenwood attempted to completely rip off what the Beatles did - a time that drastically impacted George Harrison’s music specifically for the rest of his career - by channeling some Asian influences into his tunes. The project will showcase Greenwood’s work on an album with the Israeli composer Shye Ben Tzur and this sure-to-be-hipster-targeted documentary will premiere at the New York Film Festival, which takes place Sept. 25 to Oct. 11. Greenwood has been the one working in support of Anderson several times before, working extensively on the scores for “Inherent Vice,” “There Will Be Blood” and “The Master.” He’ll be providing the score for this film, simply in a different sense, and assuming it doesn’t end up as a four-hour epic that delves far too deep on the minutiae, it has the chance to be an interesting watch and a window into the inner sanctum of someone who often takes a back seat to Thom York when Radiohead are together……….

- Crash and burn, James Henrikson, crash and burn. Henrikson, a felon linked to fraud and terror in North Dakota who was sent to Washington state to face federal charges of ordering the killings of a business associate that owed him nearly $2 million and his former trucking company employee, is not an especially nice guy. Based on his recent actions at a jail in eastern Washington, he’s not a very smart one either. Staffers at the Spokane County Jail spotted g a long trail of knotted bed sheets hanging from the window of Henrikson’s cell and put the facility on lockdown. The rope of sheets nearly reached the ground and was spotted around 4:30 a.m. Once the sheets were spotted,  officials moved Henrikson and a cellmate to another part of the jail. Getting out of the window was easy for the sheets, but would have been tougher for Henrikson and his cellmate, as that window is about 4 feet tall but less than 5 inches wide, according to Spokane County Jail Commander John McGrath. How inconsiderate of the prison’s designers to not make it easier for a human being to fit through that opening. That Henrikson tried to escape is no shock, as six months ago authorities investigated after another inmate reported that Henrikson planned to escape by having a team attack a U.S. Marshals Service van with guns, grenades and gasoline. A suspicious person might think that multiple escape attempts reflect negatively on the possible guilty of a man who was indicted last September on murder-for-hire charges in the deaths of Doug Carlile and Kristopher "K.C." Clarke in Washington. But hey, Clarke's body has never been found and Henrikson only told investigators that Carlile owed him nearly $1.9 million for their dealings in  an oil development firm, so it’s not as if he had reason to kill the man. A trip to solitary confinement can’t be too far away………..

Riot Watch! Germany, Roy Jones Jr.'s pal Vlad Putin and Charli XCX goes diva

- Feel the rage, Tucson. And when you’re done with that, grab your phone and call a friend to come give you a ride because you’re not going to be catching that city bus to your destination like you planned. That’s because you and several thousand of your fellow Tucson residents remain without steady public transportation as the longest strike in recent history continues. At the center of this showdown are around 530 bus drivers, mechanics, operators and other Sun Tran workers who went on strike on Aug. 6 after negotiations between the union and Sun Tran broke down. Behind lofty demands and record-setting determination, union members have shattered the previous record for a strike, which was set during a strike in 2001 that lasted around 10 days. On the other side of this battle are management and a federal mediator who are working to schedule a meeting with the union, Sun Tran spokeswoman Kandi Young said. Thanks to the strike, just eight routes are operating and there will be no service this weekend. When it’s actually, you know, operational, Sun Tran provides about 66,000 passenger rides on an average weekday. Andrew Marshall, principal officer of the Teamsters Local 104, previously said that safety is a major issue after 22 bus drivers were assaulted in the past 13 months and believes the striking workers have the support of the community. Tucson Mayor Jonathan Rothschild tried to push the process forward with the oh, so effective tactic of releasing a public statement encouraging both parties to restart negotiations. That statement didn’t much influence the 200 workers who rallied outside the Ronstadt Transit Center on Friday afternoon, determined as ever to keep this fight going until they win……….

- No worries, Charli XCX. If you feel like your horrible, overrated pop music act needs to get off the road and stop torturing people with that sh*t you call music so you can “be creative,” go for it. The world is a better place when you’re not spitting your lame game into the mic in a live setting, so having the British musician bail on the Charli and Jack Do America tour alongside Bleachers (a.k.a. Jack Antonoff) is perfectly fine. Sure, having one of the tour’s namesakes peace out on the remainder of the dates because she’s having a diva moment looks bad on the surface, but fans will get over it. The tour is set to resume in Boston Sept. 14 after a short break, but Charli XCX won't be there and she explained why in a long, meandering post on her Facebook page. "For personal reasons I will not be able to continue this tour," she wrote. "These personal reasons include the fact that I need to be creative. Artists tour for a really really long time and I have been on the road for a while now, probably not as long as some, but for me it feels like an eternity. I am struggling to create whilst I'm on the road and that is making me unhappy. As an artist I need to move quickly and write a lot to not feel restless. Artists often do tour for a long time and it’s mostly because that’s how they make most of their money gouging fans for overpriced tickets and $35 t-shirts, but if this woman feels isolated and sad on the road making a lot of money, then so be it. No one’s life is going to be worse for missing live versions of her songs and Antonoff will find someone else to open for him……….

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Germany is the place and anti-immigrant protestors are the ones driving this uprising. On one side of the showdown are dissidents who rioted in front of a new asylum shelter near Dresden and on the other side if The Man. Specifically, the German government has harshly condemned the riots, which led to at least ten injured, most of them police officers. Justice Minister Heiko Maas denounced the attacks on Twitter, writing that Germany will "never tolerate that people are threatened and attacked in our country." Maas said authorities will use the "toughness of the rule of law to strike back" against right-wing protesters like those who clashed with police and blocked the road to an asylum shelter in Heidenau to stop migrants from moving in. At least the motives in this case are clear, namely a bunch of extremist kooks who hate all outsiders demanding that their country stop allowing people to enter and seek asylum. Despite the riots, the first asylum seekers were finally able to move into the home early in the morning the day after the uprising when police successfully dispersed the rioters. As many as 600 migrants are expected to find shelter in the former warehouse, so the extremists should have more reasons to riot and more chances to rage against the machine in the weeks ahead. Just when you think Germany might be moving past its ugly, hateful past and persecution of minority groups……….

- Bridging the societal and sports divide between bitter enemies like Russia and the United States isn't easy. Just ask legendary rebounding diplomat Dennis Rodman how difficult it can be to ease tensions between a Communist hellhole of a nation and the U.S., because Ambassador Rodman’s work to make nice between America and North Korea has had virtually no effect. But maybe former world boxing champion Roy Jones Jr. can do what Rodman could not and maybe his quest began this week when he Russian President/dictator Vladimir Putin for Russian citizenship over a cup of tea. So many great diplomatic quests have begun over a simply cup of tea and this one came two years after Jones' promoter claimed that the boxer wanted a Russian passport. Jones saw his opening when Putin wished him success doing business in Russia and responded that it would be easier if he had a Russian passport. Then, in words that should send a chill down the spine of every freedom-loving soul everywhere in the world, Putin informed Jones that getting one would not be a problem if he planned to spend a significant part of his life in Russia. No offense to Russians, but spending a major chunk of one’s life in a place where the authoritarian regime tramples the basic rights of both citizens and neighboring countries it feels like invading on a regular basis doesn’t sound extremely appealing. Fittingly, the meeting between Putin and Jones took place in Crimea, which Russia annexed last year and where Jones was appearing for a show. Jones said he hoped sport could help "build a bridge" between the U.S. and Russia……….

Slovakia's immigrant discrimination, Joel Embiid's non-existent career and N.W.A. dies a little bit inside

- The good news for Joel Embiid is that the results on the court haven't been of the disappointing variety that leads to a top draft pick being labeled a bust. Unfortunately, the 7-foot-1 center doesn’t have any positive accomplishments on his NBA ledger either and that won't be changing any time soon. Embiid, who was chosen by Philadelphia with the third overall pick in the 2014 NBA draft as part of the Sixers’ strategy of tanking every season until 2020, missed all of his rookie campaign following surgery on his right foot. As the season wore on, he shot 3-pointers and even dunked before games in the final month of last season and the hope was that he could ease back onto the court this coming season. So about that idea….yeah, it’s not happening. Embiid will have to wait at least one more season to start his NBA career because the  injury-riddled center is expected to miss the season following a second surgery on his right foot. Ironically, the projected recovery time is five to eight months, the same timeframe he was given following the first surgery last year. Apparently the cautious approach the Sixers took with Embiid last year didn’t do much good, but Chief Tanking Officer/team president Sam Hinkie said the organization would follow a similar path again following Embiid’s bone graft in which two existing screws were replaced and bone from his hip was used for the grafting process. Hinkie was adamant that the foot did not break again, saying there was simply less healing than expected. "If we all do our part," Hinkie said, "this will end in a way in which Joel can achieve all his dreams for having a really long, really fantastic NBA career. Nobody has talked me off of that just yet. Do we have reason to be concerned? Of course. But no one has told me that's still not in the cards." All aboard for a possible third foot surgery next summer to keep this disappointing cycle going………..

- How did Slovakia fly under the radar when it came to world leaders in religious intolerance? North Korea, sure. Kim Jong-Un and his gout-infected, rotund body radiate hate for Christians. Same goes for any place in the Middle East where Islam reigns and ISIS terrorizes the populace. But Slovakia, the country in eastern Europe that people continually confuse with Slovenia and Serbia as a place where religious bigotry is running at an all-time high? That what it looks like as the world lobs scornful states at the Slovaks for their country’s preference to grant asylum to migrants who are Christians. Council of Europe Secretary General Thorbjorn Jagland is leading the charge against this policy, claiming that Slovakia is being openly unfair to non-Christians when it shows favoritism to one particular religious group. "Refusing refugees on the grounds of their religion is blatant discrimination," Jagland said.  "Slovakia should reverse its position." Slovakia, the Czech Republic, Hungary and Poland team up earlier this summer to c*ck-block a European Union plan for member countries to take set numbers of refugees arriving in Italy and Greece, saying they were prepared to offer assistance, but only on a voluntary basis. Slovakia then ponied up that help weeks later when it announced it was ready to accept a hundred Christians from Syria and temporarily provide shelter for 500 migrants, also non-Christians, who have applied for asylum in Austria. Immigration officials did not say whether the 500 could include non-Christians, leading Jagland and his crew to launch their attack and claim that discrimination was taking place. As always, it’s good that the focus is being kept on those who need help and not on petty bureaucratic squabbles………..

- N.W.A. died a little bit this week. Sure, “Straight Outta Compton” topped the box office and ignorant, out-of-touch cable news ass hats marveled at the fact that the movie not only made $60 million but did so without sparking the violence they believe to be inextricably intertwined with that damn rap music, but any boost the iconic rap outfit received from that good news was canceled when a new music video of The Muppets covering NWA's “Express Yourself” appeared online. Sure, the video was created by a YouTube used who matched video footage from 1979's “The Muppet Movie” to audio from N.W.A.’s 1988 rap classic to make it appear that Fozzie, Kermit and crew were channeling their inner Dre and Easy E, but the mere sight of a bunch of puppets from a bygone era trying to hold down the sick rhymes and lyrical fire that made N.W.A. such a force is just soul killing on some level. Fozzie Bear takes the lead on the track, duplicating Dr. Dre’s rhymes while Kermit the Frog strums along on banjo and delivers the track's vocal hook. The timing of the video is obviously designed to cash in on the “Straight Outta Compton” buzz and in that sense - and only that sense - it’s well-executed. The Muppets can definitely use the promotional bump, as these relics of a bygone entertainment era are ready for their TV comeback in a self-titled series that ABC will launch this fall. The network is trying to style the series as a "contemporary, documentary-style show" that will apparently "lift the lid" on the Muppets' personal lives and romantic relationships for the first time, so maybe it can answer the lingering questions everyone/no one is asking about the recent breakup of longtime couple Kermit and Miss Piggy…….

- Ah, the scent of good, old-fashioned American bribery. There are still some areas where the United States can hold its own with anyone in the world and people plying dishonest government officials with gifts of cash and luxury items is clearly one of them. Enter Karen Finley, the former CEO of an Arizona-based red-light camera firm who as pleaded guilty to using bribery to help her company land lucrative contracts with the city of Chicago. The whole business of making, selling and installing red light camera systems is inherently shady for many reasons, so it’s fitting that this newly minted criminal stood before a federal judge in Chicago to enter the guilty plea under an agreement with prosecutors. The Cave Creek, Arizona, resident pleaded guilty to one count of bribery conspiracy and she’ll get what she has coming to her…next February, when she’s sentenced. Nothing quite like admitting you’re guilty of a felony charge and having an entire NFL season - two-week break before the Super Bowl AND the Pro Bowl included - come and go before you’re actually informed how much jail time you’ll receive. Finley faces a maximum five years in prison when she is sentenced next year. Prosecutors claimed the former executive at Redflex Traffic Systems Inc. funneled hundreds of thousands of dollars to a retired Chicago official to secure $124 million in city contracts and with that rate of return on investment, it’s easy to see why she was willing to take the chance of doling out those bribes……….