The NFL Pre-Draft Stoner Club, Europe v. plastic bags and Waka Flocka Flame v. his record label

- No need to apologize, Drexel University law school professor Lisa McElroy. You may think it’s a big deal that you inadvertently sent students a link to a porn site rather than an article about writing legal briefs earlier this month, but there is no need to worry. See, a lot of your students were already either a) accessing porn or b) about to access porn once they got done watching a new episode of “The Real World” and downing the two leftover pieces of pizza in the fridge. Yet McElroy says she was "mortified" when she discovered that she had accidentally handed her students a direct pass to some quality adult entertainment. McElroy teaches legal writing and teaching methods at Drexel University's law school and has become something of a punch line nationally for her non-offensive error. The heat she took prompted her to pen an op-ed in The Washington Post in which she explained that she cares deeply about her students and university and about being a role model for her adolescent daughters. She labeled the incident "pretty trivial" and criticized what she called "tabloid journalists" who ridiculed her for what she did. In the piece, McElroy said there are worse things than humiliation, including, as she put it, "the willingness -- even the desire -- to bring others down to lift yourself up." Even the university knows this is no big deal and a university spokeswoman says Drexel looked into the matter and "cleared the way for her to continue her academic and research responsibilities." Henceforth, McElroy should simply be known as the cool professor who provides easy access to decent porn and anyone who thinks less of her for it is the one with the problem………..

- Waka Flocka Flame is a busy dude with lofty ambitions. He’s pretending to run for President of the United States at the moment, but aside from that hollow publicity stunt, he’s using his power as an Artist-in-Keef, er, Chief to declare war on his record label, Atlantic Records. As he prepares his new album, “Flockaveli 2,” for release, he’s beefing with the label because he believes it is holding him back from achieving his true potential. He took to Twitter to voice his dissent over the delay in the album’s release, labeling it “sad” and offering to buy out his contract in an effort to get the album released. He urged his followers to tweet their reactions with the hashtag '#LETWAKAGO' and appears poised to wage a very public war with Atlantic over the issue. "Sad that my label holding #Flockaveli2 BACK...!!!!! LET ME BUYOUT MY CONTRACT ASAP #AtlanticRecords," he wrote. So far, the label hasn’t caved or shown any interest in taking a bum deal to let one of its top earners go free. Whenever the album does drop, it will be Waka Flocka's first release since 'Triple F Life: Friends, Fans & Family' in 2012. Previously, the Flaming One claimed that Jay Z, Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Drake and 50 Cent would all feature on the new album, although he later doubled back and tried to spin his misspeak by saying that he didn’t deserve a Jay-Z or Kanye guest spot "'cause I ain't go gold or platinum. To me, you can't work with a gold or platinum artist if you haven't [gone] gold or platinum.” Lose this battle with the label on the heels of that massive over-promise and it starts to look like this is a man who speaks far too quickly and without any advance thinking………

- Europe has declared war….on plastic bags. Many countries across the continent have long been seeking ways to reduce the use of flimsy plastic bags that are hazardous for the environment, with stores in many European Union member nations charging people for each of the bags they use for their groceries or other purchases. But the fight got kicked up a notch this week when the European Parliament approved rules to further squeeze those who would put the environment in peril for the sake of a plastic sack. Going forward, Euro shoppers will have to use sturdier, re-usable bags or pay extra if they want to use the polluting versions that are often dispensed at supermarket counters or pharmacies. With the removal of the last major hurdle to pass the legislation, all 28 EU member nations have already approved the measure once and their final backing should be confirmed later this year. Under the more stringent guidelines, member states are required to reduce the use of such plastic bags by some 80 percent by 2025. To preserve the illusion of choice are free will in all of this, each country will have a choice on how it goes about getting to the place it is mandated to reach. It’s a bit like being forced to go to that painfully boring family holiday gathering or work meeting, but having the choice to ride in a crowded compact car or sit beside a smelly, mentally unhinged homeless dude while riding the bus to make the trip. As recently as five years ago, every EU citizen used an average of some 180 lightweight bags per year, but the aim of this legislation is to further slash that number and in the process, give the environment a much-needed boost……..

- Missouri defensive end/outside linebacker Shane Ray, welcome to the fraternity. Someone had to join the club that adds at least one new member every spring and one of the top defensive players in next month’s NFL draft stepped up – and bonged up – to make it happen. Ray, a projected top-10 pick, was cited Monday for marijuana possession, adding his name to a growing list of diehard stoners who simply cannot wait until after the biggest day of their career and life to this point to pack a bowl of dope dank and get higher than a hot air balloon. That positive test means Ray is now automatically enrolled in the behavioral portion of Phase 1 of the NFL's substance abuse program, courtesy of doctors independent of the NFL or the NFL Players Association. The good news is that this means Ray will not face any league discipline, but he is subject to random drug testing and more importantly, his draft stock just took a big hit. While he’s still expected to be picked in the first or early second round, dropping out of the top 10 will likely cost him millions of dollars and all because he couldn’t say no to the bong for a few more days. Get drafted, get your agent to work on that first contract with a nice signing bonus and then get baked, S. Technically, he was charged not for using marijuana but for possession of the substance, but he was still charged after a traffic stop early Monday near Columbia, Missouri and coupled with a positive test for marijuana use during his early playing days at Missouri and he seems like an unrepentant ganja enthusiasts who may have a tough time saying no to the herb when he has millions of dollars at his disposal and the lifestyle of a professional athlete to enjoy. Score one for the addictive power of pot and another point against the sagging self-discipline of pothead college football players whose love for the hippie lettuce outweighs their appreciation for the financial windfall about to come their way if only they can stay clean and sober for a few more days………

Michal Cera: rock star, Germany still mistreats Jews and drunk + late-night tarmac driving

- We need more assholes. Very few people ever utter that sentence in their life, but when your NBA team has just been swept out of th playoffs after setting a franchise win for regular-season wins, the thought does cross your mind. It definitely crossed the mind of Toronto Raptors point guard Greivis Vasquez, whose squad exited the playoffs feebly after a 49-33 regular season in which they won the Atlantic Division. They were swept and humiliated by the Washington Wizards, led by the cagey and irascible veteran forward/wheelchair-user Paul Pierce. Pierce talked junk from the start of the series and even said in a pre-series interview that the Raptors didn't have "it" and didn't worry him as an opponent. That comment precipitated a profane response by Raptors GM Masai Ujiri at a fan rally, but not much of a response on the court from Canada’s only NBA team. Vasquez believes that while he was sick and tired of Pierce's trash talk during the series, a smack talker like Pierce is exactly what Toronto needs. “We need somebody to speak up and be like, this is how it is and challenge everybody else. Basically, we need a Paul Pierce that's going to talk that trash,” Vasquez said. “We don't have that. We're all good guys that just don't want to [talk trash].” He might have a point, given that Pierce – at the age of 37 no less - averaged 15.5 points and converted 58 percent of his 3-point attempts (14-for-24) in the sweep of the Raptors. oint guard said Monday. The 37-year-old Pierce, who. Vasquez gave Pierce credit for backing up his talk. "He knew what he was doing because he's done it for so long, but it works. You need to have that spiciness, you need to be a little bit like an a--h--- like he is, saying the things he say and back it up," Vasquez added. Well said, G……….

- So….70 years later and Germany still doesn’t quite know how to properly respond in the presence of Jews. At least these days the atrocities of the Holocaust are a painful relic of the past, but Deutschland is still having issues when it comes to Jewish folks, as evidenced by the actions of Berlin police during a soccer game in the German capital. A second division game between Berlin's 1 FC Union and FC Ingolstadt somehow managed to attract a crowd despite being a second-division German soccer game in a city full of life, culture and plenty of better things to do and some of those fans in attendance unfurled an Israeli flag in support of Amog Cohen, an Israeli player with the Ingolstadt team. It should have been a wholly acceptable gesture and one that would serve as a solid counterpoint to the anti-Semitic views that are all too often spewed by the hateful and ignorant neo-Nazis who call Germany home, but instead the long arm of the law wrapped itself around the fans trying to support their favorite player and forced them to remove the flag. Less than 24 hours later, police president Klaus Kandt was trotted out for a public apology in which he said that ordering the fans to put the flag away was a mistake by the police officer on the scene who interpreted the display of the flag as a prohibited political statement. "It's the police's job to protect the freedom of expression. The demand to roll up the flag was the incorrect decision for which I apologize to those concerned,” Kandt said. It’s another instance of people’s right to be heard in the simplest of ways being taken away from them, but soccer is rarely known as an arena of enlightenment………..

- Actor Michael Cera annoys the hell out of some people. His burgeoning musical career probably isn't going to help in that respect. Cera released his debut LP 'True That' last year and because he’s a big-time actor with major films to his credit, people paid attention to it. "It’s surprising to me that people are aware of it now, and are listening to it,” Cera said at the time. “I guess I’ll just see what that’s like [to adjust to]. I’m always trying to play music with friends. So I don’t know that I’d add anything to this or just leave that alone." A year later, adding to it is exactly what he’s doing – just not as a solo act. No, Cera will appear on the new EP from The Unicorns' Alden Penner and if you’re not excited about that….join the rest of us. Penner will his 'Canada In Space' EP on June 29 and when he does, he’ll have the sonic stylings of Cera on the track “Meditate.” : "There are more Canadians than any other nationality represented in the planned Mars colony,” Penner said, alluding to the Mars One project of anti-social ass hats vying for the right to die in space, billions of miles from humanity. “The ‘Canada in Space’ EP is an imagining of the dreams, reveries, phantasms, hallucinations, psycho-spiritual projections, naïve mythologies, actions, visions and experiences of an abandoned crew before, during and after its permanent journey to Mars; the compression of time; dispersion, fragmentation of states and generations in space; ultimate detachment & wormholes.” How very high-minded and intellectual of you, A.P. Not only will Cera be a part of the new release, but he will also join Penner on tour in the United Kingdom this June, playing shows in London, Bristol, Manchester, Leeds, Edinburgh, Birmingham, Brighton and Dublin. There, he’ll both play with Unicorns and perform his own songs. Sounds like something to miss………

- Any drunk driving incident is terrible for all involved. But there are some that are decidedly more impactful than others for the molared-up lush behind the wheel and that’s what we have here. Specifically what we have is Salt Lake City resident Leo “Liquor Lover” Greene getting his drunk ass arrested after crashing through a fence and sprinting from police onto a runway at the Salt Lake City airport early Monday. This smashing arrival on the world stage began with an 8-minute chase on a public road near Salt Lake City International at 3 a.m. An airport police officer spotted Greene’s car with its bumper dragging and seeing a possible safety concern, he attempted to stop the vehicle. For some unknown reason – cough, Jack Daniels, cough – Greene didn’t stop and instead took off, crashing through the fence lines and onto the tarmac area. Not content with the damage he had already caused, Green smashed into a second fence before jumping out of his vehicle and making like an intoxicated Usain Bolt attempting a .10 BAC sprint across the tarmac before the cops tracked him down and cuffed his ass. He now faces multiple charges, including driving under the influence, fleeing and resisting arrest. Because of the time the incident occurred, no flights or passengers were affected and the powers that be don’t sound overly concerned. "It doesn't sound very nefarious," said Dave Korzep, the airport's superintendent of operations. "Just a lack of common sense, driving under the influence, making wrong choices." Then again, an investigation this month found eight other security perimeter breaches at the airport in the last decade, so a man facing charges that include property damage and driving onto the loading area of an airport, with an open container and on a license suspended for an alcohol-related offense is another entry on a growing list………

Carnegie Deli chicanery, African despot fun and MLB broken-bat humor

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! The rage be real in Burundi – check your Google Maps app so you know where Burundi is….we’ll wait -  and it’s boiling over thanks to hundreds of enraged citizens protesting against the ruling party's decision to nominate the president to run for a third term. These change-makers turned their rings around, took off their chains and flipped over some tables to get their point across when they clashed with police over the weekend, prompting The Man to block off some parts of Bujumbura, the capital. The uprisings s are in response to the decision of President Pierre Nkurunziza's ruling party to have him run in elections on June 26. You may not believe it, but watchdog groups looking on from the outside actually had the foresight to warn that a third term for the authoritarian leader would cause unrest and sure enough, thousands of Burundians have already fled to Rwanda fearing pre-election violence. The hang-up here seems to be that Burundi's constitution stipulates that a president can only serve for two terms, but Nkurunziza's party is attempting to circumvent the law by claiming that he is eligible for another term as popularly elected president because in his first term he was elected by the legislature. Opposition groups argue this is an improper interpretation of the law and unless you are a moron or a Nkurunziza sycophant, you should agree with them……….

- Texas Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre may not have had a good night at the plate against Los Angeles Angels right-hander Garrett Richards, but at least Beltre had a good sense of humor about his struggles. Beltre went 0-for-3 against Richards in Texas' 3-2 loss, breaking his bat in all three at-bats, and not being able to contribute to his team’s attack in a one-run loss to a division rival left him searching for an appropriate retort. He found one by sending the pitcher an invoice for $300 for his snapped sticks and did a pretty solid job on the invoice, tagging it with "Cash only, no checks" and his signature. "I always love facing him," Richards said. "We have that good battle every time." Beltre’s night was decidedly less fun than Richards’ was, as he grounded out to second base in the top of the second inning, popped out to shortstop in the third and grounded into a 4-6-3 double play to end the sixth. Richards, on the other hand, pitched seven strong innings to earn the win, allowing two runs on three hits and three walks and striking out five. He showed his own sharp sense of humor by responding to Beltre’s faux invoice by sending him an autographed batting-practice bat inscribed with a message that explained his hope that it would repay his debt. Beltre has long been one of the best third basemen in baseball and judging by this exchange, he’s also one of the guys in the sport who clearly enjoys his job but doesn’t take it so seriously that he doesn’t know how to have a good laugh at his own expense from time to time………

- So THAT’S how New York's famous Carnegie Deli has been making such scrumptious sammitches all these years. It seems that the world-renowned eatery may just have itself an illegal gas hookup, something that led to the recent closure of the deli so city utility workers can find time to investigate said hookup between their mandatory six daily coffee breaks. A recording at the restaurant's phone number confirmed that it is closed for repairs related to the city's gas utility, Con Edison, but Con Edison spokesman Bob McGee said utility crews discovered a diverted line after investigating a gas leak. That led to the posting of a stop work order Friday and this is something that could happen much more often in the weeks ahead as investigators from the city and the Manhattan district attorney's office step up inspections of gas hookups since an explosion in the East Village killed two people on March 26. Because that blast may have been caused by someone improperly tapping a gas line, there is an intensified focus on making sure it doesn’t happen again, even if it means shuttering a popular tourist destination known for its massive pastrami sandwiches and pop culture cameos. No word on whether Woody Allen could be hauled in as an accessory to this possible utility crime because scenes from his film “Broadway Danny Rose” were shot there. Either way, count Carnegie Deli as one of many businesses or individuals around Manhattan possibly looking to save a few dollars or get some extra energy sources in their day via a hookup that isn't exactly above board………

- Shot fired….literally. In a move that’s either a rap fan celebrating the only way he or she knows how or a pissed-off patron who feels like the concert they just saw didn’t live up to its billing, shots were fired at Lil Wayne's tour bus after he performed in Atlanta over the weekend. Weezy put on a show at the Compound nightclub in the city and like any hip-hop show worth a damn, the gig went well past midnight and there were plenty of alcoholic beverages and illegal substances consumed, leaving an amped-up, peaking crowd in Wayne’s wake as he and his crew exited stage left. When the Wayne entourage finally boarded their two tour buses and began the journey to their next stop at around 3:30 a.m., an unidentified marksman opened fire on a posse that included Lil Wayne and executives from his Young Money label, along with other artists like Lil Twist and Hood. The intentions and identity of the shooter weren't immediately known, but one bus was strafed by a shot and it was driven to a nearby hotel, where the police were then called. Because someone took a shot at a tour bus containing a famous person, police made their way to the scene and investigated, although the results haven't been too substantial at this point. Gun shots at or immediately following a rap concert aren't exactly a new or shocking phenomenon, so maybe this can become a fun tradition on Lil Wayne tours, where one lucky fan is selected at random to open fire on the departing tour bus and see if he or she can lodge a bullet in the wall of the bus and give the entire thing a truly street feel………..

NHL expansion greed, Russian bikers v. Poland and Metallica hearts Chris Isaak

- Who knew? Metallica frontman James Hetfield is an iconic voice of the metal genre and despite he and his band’s oft-offensive political and social stances, he and his massive behemoth of commercial entity/band remain one of the biggest acts in the world. They embody hard rock, they don’t seem to be the kind of dudes who enjoy muzak in the waiting room at the doctor’s office or like to rock out with Ryan Seacrest’s syrupy pop music leanings on his many shows, but it would seem that Hetfield has a decidedly lame side to him after all. According to producer Bob Rock, who worked with Metallica on its iconic 1993 offering “The Black Album,” Hetfield was inspired by 'Wicked Game' singer Chris Isaak and wanted to sing like Isaak so he could record the tracks 'Nothing Else Matters' and 'The Unforgiven.' "He said, ‘Bob, I’ve never really sung before – I’ve just kind of yelled,'" Rock recalled. "He played me a Chris Isaak record and said, ‘On 'Nothing Else Matters' and 'The Unforgiven', I want to sing. How do you sing like this?'" Rock told Hetfield that what he heard in Isaak’s voice was the sonic nuances in his singing and that he was “actually performing.” Hetfield took that advice, practiced and according to Rock, became a better vocalist in the long run. Maybe mor of that will show up in the new album that guitarist Kirk Hammett recently revealed that Metallica about a quarter of the way into making. When it drops, the project will be the first from Metallica since 2008's 'Death Magnetic' and even for Metallica, that’s a long gap between releases. They did drop a new single, “Lords of Summer,” last year and will be part of a rather mismatched group of headline acts for the Reading and Leeds festival alongside The Libertines and Mumford and Sons. Maybe Chris Isaak will be available for a duet on “Enter Sandman” to close the show………

- Russian bikers v. Poland’s government? Let’s effing get it on. Riders from a Russian nationalist motorcycle group have embarked upon a run commemorating the Red Army's offensive against Nazi Germany, revving their engines directly in the faces of Polish officials who announced that they would refuse to allow the group entry into the country. About 20 bikers including members of the Night Wolves group set off from Moscow Saturday with the end goal of crossing into Poland before eventually reaching Berlin on May 9, but the group’s politics have run afoul of the Polish government and caused a rift that could lead to an explosive showdown. The bikers had planned to cross en masse at the border near Brest in Belarus, but those plans were left in doubt because Polish officials were alarmed by the aggressive nationalism of the Night Wolves and quickly moved to announce that they would deny the group entry. Night Wolves leader Alexander Zaldostanov said the bikers could try to circumvent the ban by crossing individually at several points and if they’re smart, maybe a well-placed fake beard or some fake glasses with a plastic nose could help disguise their identity should anyone really want to keep them from riding across the border. A quick check of the European map would suggest that reaching Berlin without riding through Poland would add quite a few kilometers to the voyage, so it will be interesting to see how this rolling band of renegades ultimately fares in its quest to bully its way to the German capital in a true ride of defiance………

- NHL commissioner Gary Bettman sees dollar signs dancing in his eyes and those of the league’s owners. So when he was asked about what it would take for a potential new owner to be selected for a team should his league – which definitely does not need to expand – choose to do the illegal and expand anyhow. "From your question, you seem to be inferring that would be a lot of money for an NHL team," Bettman said when quizzed about claims that the price tag would be set at $500 million or more. “"I happen to believe that number -- not that I'm confirming or denying it -- would be not a lot of money. I think NHL franchises should be worth at least that." Of course you do, G. You’re one of the worst commissioners in sports, but even you know that you want to set that bar as high as possible so the entry fee into the league is as steep as possible and the profits as immense as they can be for the other 30 owners. Bettman said the fee will be determined by the league's Board of Governors, but $500 million would be more than six times the $80 million price tag Nashville, Atlanta, Columbus and Minnesota each paid the last time the NHL expanded in the 1990s. "There might be expansion at some point in the future," Bettman said. "It's possible, but I wouldn't guarantee it." In other words, make me an offer. Groups in Las Vegas and Seattle have expressed interest in potential franchises and Nevada, Bill Foley has established a company, Hockey Vision Las Vegas LLC, and was granted league approval to launch a season-ticket drive in February to gauge local interest in a team there. because Vegas is Vegas, a new arena is already being built without the guarantee of a franchise, but Seattle prudently has no existing plans for a facility. Yes, there’s nothing like being in a bidding race for something that doesn’t exist in America’s fourth-most popular professional sport……….

- Getting your ride stolen is both a violating and angering experience. Even if your vehicle is found, it isn't always usable or in anything close to the condition it was in before someone thieved it from you. So imagine the emotions that went through a man driving to work in Alabama who suddenly noticed his stolen pickup truck following him. As one might expect, he didn’t simply call 911 and wait for the police to do their thing. The man did call the cops, but he also engaged in his own following operation for a bit. Eventually, police arrived on the scene and attempted to stop the reportedly stolen vehicle, but the driver, Terry Proctor of Piedmont, did not stop, and a pursuit ensued. Calhoun County Chief Deputy Matthew Wade said a man called police during the morning rush after noticing he was driving in front of the truck that had been stolen from him earlier that morning near Piedmont. When officers pursued the stolen truck, according to Wade, the driver crashed the vehicle and was ejected as the truck rolled over. Showing the kind of logic that always works well for criminals who choose to ignore the fact that police have cars, radios and helicopters and can track them fairly easily when they flee on foot, Proctor took off and not surprisingly, he was captured after a foot chase and booked into the Cherokee County Jail on charges including first degree theft and possession of burglary tools. Maybe if America was a fitter nation in which men and women who commit stupid crimes and then try to escape police on foot were in good shape, such criminals would have a chance of getting away. Instead, the day ended badly for Proctor and almost as unhappily for the truck’s owner, who is going to have a hell of a lot of paperwork and red tape to go through before getting a replacement ride………

Buffaloes on the run, Frank Ocean is now Frank Ocean and Poland is pissed at Mattel

- Los Angeles still doesn’t have an NFL team. But preparations for as many as two teams to call the City of Angels home are plodding onward and they certainly are stylized. Those involved in a $1.7 billion joint stadium proposal by the San Diego Chargers and Oakland Raiders released new designs for a proposed NFL venue in the Los Angeles area and they’ve certainly added some interesting touches. There are simulated lightning bolts for the Chargers and a flame honoring late Raiders owner Al Davis for an overhauled look just two months after the project and an initial set of designs were first announced and two days after it received approval from the Carson City Council. The new design calls for a flowing, metallic modern stadium with a common horseshoe-shaped seating arrangement that is open on one end. "We wanted the building to be iconic and sleek, like a luxury sports car," said David Manica, president of stadium designer Manica Architecture. The stadium’s calling card is a 120-foot-tall tower that will give off lightning bolts during Chargers games and will feature a flaming cauldron in Davis's honor during Raiders games. Oh, and in the event/certainty that the league gives the new venue a Super Bowl, the tower can also become a Lombardi Trophy. Many of the features of the stadium, including the color of the seats, will be changeable based on which team is playing in it. Both potential teams would have a multilevel high-rise of suites on one side and a peristyle on one end that echoes the L.A. Memorial Coliseum, former home of the Raiders and Rams and the most storied football venue in the Los Angeles area. Chargers spokesman Mark Fabiani in a statement called the design “the result of two months of close collaboration between the Raiders and Chargers." It’s amazing what two bitter rivals can band together to accomplish with a sweetheart stadium deal and boatloads of cash are on the line………..

- Ramp the oversensitivity down a notch, Poland. There are a lot of things that can piss a nation off, but a freaking Mattel board game should not be one of them. Yet here are Polish officials, b*tching about a party game with a card that refers to "Nazi Poland.” The Poles are pissed enough that their government has demanded that toy producer Mattel recall and correct the game because it incorrectly implies that Poland was allied with Germany when in fact, it never was and was actually subjected to a brutal occupation by Nazi Germany throughout World War II. Foreign Minister Grzegorz Schetyna said the government has asked Mattel to withdraw "Apples to Apples," a game in which players compare different things. A strongly worded statement noted that the card’s wording is "completely inconsistent with the historical truth and detrimental to the good name of our country." Not only is Poland pushing Mattel to make the change, but Warsaw is also using Twitter to call on people to protest the game. The offending card is designated as  "Schindler's List" and says: "1993 Steven Spielberg film. Powerful, real-life story of a Catholic businessman who eventually saved over 1,000 Jews in Nazi Poland." To be fair, Poland was already rankled this week on account of remarks made last week by FBI director James Comey in which he seemed to equate the roles of Poland and Hungary in the Holocaust with that of Germany. Comey tried to calm the chaos by sending a conciliatory note to the Polish ambassador in Washington, but that sort spot that exists because Poles feel that they are repeatedly and unfairly blamed for the German atrocities that were carried out on Polish soil by outsiders and that isn't going to change any time soon. Yes, there were a few individual Poles who helped the Nazis track down Jews to murder, but Poles had no role in running the ghettos or the death camps in Poland. Let’s get it straight, world…………

- Christopher Edwin Breaux is no more. Frank Ocean, however, is here to stay. The R&B singer has officially changed his name to make his stage moniker the only one that’s legit. He initially filed the legal papers in March 2014, but driver's license issues have delayed the change for nearly 18 months. Now, a Los Angeles judge has approved the album and it comes at a mighty convenient time. See, Breaux/Ocean will release a new album expected to be called 'Boys Don't Cry' in July, along with a book of the same name, and changing your name is a good way to drum up a little publicity while you’re getting ready to drop your first new album in three years. In Ocean’s defense, “Channel Orange” was a kick-ass album that received plenty of critical praise and fan support, so taking a few years to make sure you get the follow-up just right is a solid idea. “Channel Orange” came on the heels of his “Nostalgia, Ultra” mixtape that dropped the previous year, giving a false illusion that fans could expect a regular flow of quality tunes from Ocean. He further teased those hopes when he released a new song titled “memrise” last November, but relative silence followed despite persistent rumors that he was recording a new album with producers Hit-Boy and Rodney Jerkins. Ocean himself hinted that he was close to finishing his new album in time for last year’s Coachella festival, but banking on that promise was a bit sketchy given that one year prior he responded to a fan question about new material on his Tumblr blog, saying "when summer comes round again", when asked when he'd be releasing new music. In other words, the new Frank Ocean joint may drop later this year, but recent history suggests that it’s not wise to rely too heavily on that claim and get your hopes up amidst a sea of pop drivel and boy band garbage……….

- Being a police officer is such a badass job. You get to tangle with bank robbers, you have the privilege of slapping the silver bracelets on scumbag domestic abusers and dragging their worthless asses off to jail….and if you play your cards right, from time to time, you get to trek out into the middle of nowhere and try to round up a small herd of buffalo that escaped from a farm and crossed a busy stretch of the New York State Thruway. That chance to keep the world safe from chaos came the way of police in the Rensselaer County town of Schodack. The cops’ lives got a bit more interesting when 15 of these meandering beasts got loose from a farm along the east bank of a river a few miles southeast of Albany. The buffaloes’ owner believes they swam across the river to the town of Bethlehem, where they wandered Friday morning between Interstate 87 and the river's west bank. It was a bold and daring daylight escape by these inspired animals, who seem to not want to be made into delicious burgers and other cuts of meat and are willing to put drivers in danger in order to get away. The herd crossed a local road at about 11:15 a.m. and rumbled onto the Thruway in a spot 10 miles south of Albany and was able to safely cross the northbound lanes and before ambling south on the shoulder into some nearby woods. Drivers were able to slow down and avoid belting a buffalo with their Buick, but a few did find time to snap a picture with their smartphone and share the sight with the world. The search for the AWOL quadrupeds is ongoing, but police and the owner are hopeful all of the animals will be found and returned home……….

UAB football lies, buy the "Walking Dead" town and finding Argentina's top spy

- Good luck finding him, Argentina. When your country’s best-known spy flees the country due to threats on his life and is not complying with a summons ordering him to testify in connection with the investigation into a 1994 terror bombing, you begin to realize that maybe you should have paid closer attention to his whereabouts. Antonio Stiuso fears for his safety, his lawyer, Santiago Blanco Bermudez, said in explaining why Stiuso is on the run. Not only is this dude a well-trained spy, but he’s also of the belief that the government is trying to ruin his reputation following the mysterious death of a prosecutor who accused Argentine leaders of protecting the masterminds of the bombing. "We believe (Stiuso) will continue to be a government target," Blanco Bermudez said. The idea of being a government target and having unidentified people trying to take you out is serious sh*t and even if Stiuso and his attorney refuse to specify the threats or disclose his whereabouts, no one can deny where Stiuso wasn’t on Thursday and that’s in court testifying about allegations he hid information related to the bombing, which killed 85 people at Argentina's main Jewish center. Stiuso also has been accused of running a contraband operation and tax evasion and in a shocking twist, he and his attorney also say that all of those allegations are bogus. What is widely accepted is that Stiuso oversaw a vast wire-tapping operation before being removed from his post in December and that he assisted prosecutor Alberto Nisman in his investigation of the unsolved bombing. Then Nisman was found shot dead in his bathroom on Jan. 18, days after accusing President Cristina Fernandez of reaching a secret deal with Iran to cover up its alleged responsibility for the bombing. If this doesn’t end up as a movie script some day, the world will be worse off because of it………..

- Give singer Shamir credit for a fun gimmick to promote his latest single, even if he’s not likely to race past Lil Wayne and Drake to the top of the rap game based on creating what he’s billing as a relationship hotline to dish out romantic advice to his lovelorn fans in their time of need. The hotline is to promote “Call It Off” and if fans feel like Shamir – or whichever lackeys from his crew or record label get stuck with sitting by the phone and waiting for calls to come in – can help them out, then they can dial him up. "Call 1-844-4SHAMIR (UK dial 0800 1933266) for free round-the-clock advice for all your relationship needs. No question is too big or too small for the Shamir Call It Off Relationship Hotline!" screams a press release. Shamir, for those who don’t know, is a Las Vegas-based singer who recently announced the release of his first full-length album “Ratchet.” The album drops next month and in order to make it happen, Shamir temporarily relocated to Brooklyn, where he lived in the artist space Silent Barn and recorded 'Ratchet' with producer Nick Sylvester. Their effort produced 10 tracks and according to sources close to the project, it is based on Shamir’s experiences growing up in Las Vegas. He also released an EP titled “Northtown” last year and the project was mostly well-received. Stretching out from an EP to a full-length release is a transition not every artist can make or make well, but if it allows you to spend your time talking to relationally challenged fans who want to know why their girlfriend broke up with them again, then it has to be considered a success for all involved………..

- When Hollywood presents you with a chance to cash in, you take it and up your asking price by 10 percent, b’otches. Enter Grantville, Georgia — where hit television drama “The Walking Dead” was filmed — and nine buildings in this tiny Southern town that are now conveniently up for sale. According to Grantville's former mayor, the structures — virtually the entire downtown — were put on the digital auction block known as eBay in the hopes of finding a buyer interested in revitalizing a town that the rose-tinted-glass wearers among us view as a potential hotbed of activity and life on the southern fringes of metro Atlanta. Former mayor Jim Sells is leading the charge on this one and says the asking price for the buildings is for a measly and very affordable $680,000. As his last name implies, he’s pimping this one hard and claims there has been plenty of interest even though no serious buyers have emerged. No serious buyers when you’re attempting to sell property on a site where vintage Pez dispensers and old Superman dolls still in their original packaging are the big finds on an average day? No effing way. Sells admitted that the auction's end on Friday might not result in an immediate sale, but he’s optimistic that he will find a way to do some real estate CPR and breathe life back into his downtrodden town. Grantville was featured prominently in the AMC show's third season and is clearly banking on any residual zombie cred lingering on its streets to bring in someone who believes that there is a real-life, non-scripted appeal to a largely forgettable place……..

- Somebody isn't telling the truth in Birmingham. University of Alabama-Birmingham officials shut down their football program several months back, claiming the move was purely financial and that the school could not afford to keep the team alive. That’s not what you find in a study released Thursday by an independent economic analysis firm hired to assess the fiscal state of UAB athletics. The study challenges the claim by that the football program had to be dropped for financial reasons and not only that, claims , the sport makes money for the university -- and that surpluses would grow in the coming years. Hiding behind claims that the school could no longer afford to financially support football, especially with schools moving to cover the full cost of attendance with athletic scholarships, seemed sketchy at the time the decision was made and it’s even more suspect now. "We find that the three sports in question did not cost the university anywhere near the $3.75 million indicated on UAB's accounting statements," Dan Rascher and Andy Schwarz, partners of Bay Area firm OSKR, wrote in their findings. "Instead, after making the sort of adjustments suggested by the economics literature, we conclude that the three sports were effectively break-even to slightly positive.” Hmm, that’s interesting. When these two say that football and bowling showed a modest positive return for 2013-14, the last year for which complete data was available, they don’t really have much of a reason to lie. You might know them from their critically acclaimed appearance as consultants for the plaintiffs in the Ed O'Bannon v. NCAA trial, which produced a favorable ruling for college athletes and opened the door for schools to offer cost-of-attendance scholarships. Now, you’ll know them as the dudes who used alternative methods of analysis to conclude that UAB is overstating expenses and understating revenues. According to the report, athletic scholarships cost UAB 65 percent less than their listed prices. Oh, and there’s also the fact that being a member of Conference USA are "far superior" to any alternate affiliation with a non-football conference because of media revenues that are valuable and growing. All in all, it sounds like the powers that be at UAB have some ‘splainin to do………

Russian doping hijinks, Spain v. beach nudity and Calvin Harris v. Leona Lewis

- Watch “Office Space” one too many times and you get from entertained and amused to inspired to commit technological homicide on that malfunctioning hunk of microprocessors, RAM and plastic sitting on top of your desk. Colorado Springs resident Lucas Hinch is not so different than most of us, a man whose daily life involves lots of time using a electronic devices and too much time spent on his ass in front of a computer screen. Like the rest of us, Hinch’s computer doesn’t always work the way it’s supposed to and when a man has banged on the desk, stomped away from his seat and hit CTRL-ALT-DELETE too many times to count, he reaches a breaking point. Hell, every man has a breaking point and when Lucas Hinch reaches his, Windows XP eats a burning slug. See, Hinch had been fighting his computer for months and decided to take it outside to put it down. Colorado Springs police Lt. Jeff Strossner says Hinch told him he finally snapped and took the malfunctioning machine out to a nearby alley to fire the fatal shot. It seems ridiculous and perhaps even a man who needs counseling more than a crackdown by the law, but Hinch was cited for discharging a weapon within city limits. Strossner issued the citation and claimed that Hinch insisted he did not realize he was breaking the law. Sadly, even firing a gun into the air is still firing a gun within city limits and now a judge will determine the proper penalty for this heinous crime. But if shooting your computer not one, not twice, but eight times is a crime, then maybe no one should be right. Do the right thing, judicial system, and FREE LUCAS HINCH………..

- Pop musician Calvin Harris is not doing well rationalizing his decision to ditch one female pop hack with another on his hit track “We Found Love.” Harris reached the top of the pop charts with Rihanna, but he originally recorded the same song with former “X Factor Karaoke” winner Leona Lewis. Ditching one egotistical pop hack for another is sure to offend, but when Harris was pressed on the switch, he took to Twitter to explain. “Wouldn't have been a hit if anyone else had sung it tho,” Harris tweeted. Lewis previously revealed that she recorded 'We Found Love' before Rihanna and said her version is better. After Lewis laid down her version, it was given to Rihanna because Lewis wanted to release a different track as the lead single off her third album. "I worked with Calvin and we recorded 'We Found Love.’ But he went touring with Rihanna and she ended up releasing it,” Lewis said. “I didn't commit to it because I wanted 'Trouble' to be my first single so I think that was another reason they went with Rihanna. It was the same version and production but mine's better.” Hmm, overtly catty, erroneously confident and smacking of diva-ness from someone who could not be further from an actual diva. Maybe Lewis is merely embarrassed because she made a terrible choice bailing on a track that became a No. 1 hit in 25 countries and is one of the biggest selling singles of all time, selling 10.5 million copies. "There are so many songs I've recorded, only to hear other people singing them," she said.  “It happens all the time. It was a bit annoying to see how big a hit it was around the world.” Yes, it does happen a lot in a world where unoriginal hacks have other people writing songs for them and shopping them around to fake artists not talented enough to pen their own music……..

- Put those damn clothes on, tourists and locals looking to show some skin on Spain's popular northeastern Costa Brava. The coast is a place where the beaches are plentiful and world-famous, but the locals grew tired of trying to take their families to the beach only to see some overwight, pasty slob drop their pants and remove everything shielding the world from witnessing their cherubic physique. Castell-Platja D'Aro wanted to ban nudism on its beaches in 2009, saying they were used by families, but they met stiff resistance from nudist groups who said nudism was a constitutional right. In a rare instance of the legal system working intelligently in favor of those in need, Spain's Supreme Court has ruled that nudism is not a fundamental right and in the process backed the town's decision to prohibit it and impose fines. It’s the first decision of its kind and to hear the court announce that Castell-Platja D'Aro town hall has the right to ban nudism was heartening and uplifting. Town officials plan to issue fines of up to 300 euros ($322) to nudists on certain beaches and before anyone who likes showing off their body at the beach gets up in arms over the decision, just know that topless sunbathing is still allowed and nudism remains legal elsewhere in Spain, which has some 450 nudist beaches. If you’re content with just taking off your shirt or bathing suit top and leaving at least something to the imagination, continue hitting up Costa Brava. If not, there are plenty of other options when it comes for places for you to gross others out with that bulging belly and cellulite-laden thighs………

- It’s funny to think that there is anyone out there who legitimately believed that Russia would be barred from major athletics competitions because of allegations of systematic doping. No, it’s not that doping isn't going on in the Communist hell hole of a nation, but rather that the governing bodies for international sports don’t have the testicular fortitude to actually drop a ban on Vlad Putin and his crew even if the doping were rampant and undeniable. Take International Amateur Athletics Foundation (IAAF) President Lamine Diack, who made it clear that even though Russia is being investigated by the IAAF ethics commission and the World Anti-Doping Agency over claims its officials ran a sophisticated doping program, there is no chance the IAAF is dropping any kind of ban on them. He scoffed at the notion that Russia could be excluded from the world athletics championships or Olympics. "They are in. They are in," Diack said. "It's a great nation of athletics." Oh, OK. They’re supposedly a great sporting nation and therefore, they get in whether they’ve had four Olympic track champions banned this year alone – and they have. Diack ridiculed those suggestions as "a joke." Back in December, reports emerged of rampant, organized doping in Russian sports, with almost all athletes using banned substances. "We had a declaration in Russia, that they are 99 percent doped and so on. I said: 'What?' It is exaggerated," Diack said. "It is ridiculous." He went on to liken Russia's doping problem to the scandals in the United States in the 1990s and said it should be solved in a similar way, with stricter enforcement by an independent agency. Tell that the people in the race-walking world after they have to deal with controversial Russian race-walking coach Viktor Chegin, who has trained several Olympic champions but also seen more than 20 of his athletes banned for doping. This serial cheater is currently under investigation by the IAAF as part of its probe into Russian doping, but Russia is circling its decrepit, broke-ass wagons around him and hoping for the best. Given the IAAF’s weak stance on the subject, that just might be enough to fend off all of the heat and keep on chugging into all major international competitions in the near future without even a hint of worry……….

Quitting The Darkness, stealing Kentucky liquid gold and creating your own fake nation

- Made-up countries are the best. They are magical worlds where rules are made up, people get to leave behind a world they don’t like and the impossible(y ridiculous) is possible. They are places like Liberland, population 250,000 – logic, common sense and reality not among them. Who is an integral part of this land of loose grips on reality is self-professed Czech Libertarian politician Vít Jedlička, a member of the Conservative Party of Free Citizens. Jedlička claims to have created a new, sovereign country on the Croatian-Serbia border where citizens decide their own tax burden, property and individual rights are respected and the national motto is "Live and Let Live." This nut bag has actually appointed himself president of the Free Republic of Liberland, a “micronation,” located on the banks of the Danube River in a 2.7-square-mile patch of what he says is unclaimed territory. As Jedlička sees it, neither neighboring nation claimed the land when they established their borders following the breakup of Yugoslavia so international law gives him a clear path to stake his claim. “The objective of the founders of the new state is to build a country where honest people can prosper without being oppressed by governments making their lives unpleasant through the burden of unnecessary restrictions and taxes,” the newly (fake) minted nation declares in a statement that could be a precursor to Liberland's constitution. Neither Croatia nor Seriba seems to take Liberland seriously, but an undeterred Jedlička said he has already received about 250,000 applications for citizenship and those people have already been approved even though most will never get within a long walk to reality of the country. Not only that, the faux president claims Liberland has already received commitments from various investors, including one who is willing to set up a telecommunications infrastructure. Yes sir, big things poppin’ and little things like reason and sanity be stoppin’ here in Liberland……..

- Phoenix Suns forwards Marcus and Markieff Morris are twins who are freakishly joined together, to the point that when negotiating their new contracts, they had the team set aside a pool of money for them and were allowed to divide it up as they saw fit. But even for super-close twins, this might be taking it a step too far. The Morris twins have been charged with felony aggravated assault following an incident on January 24 at a Phoenix recreation center and if you believe police, they were two of five men involved with the alleged assault of a man at the Nina Mason Pulliam Recreation Center. Toss in Gerald Bowman, a safety at USC who is preparing for this year's NFL draft, and you have three current or future professional athletes allegedly beating the hell out of one man. The Morris’ twins’ agent, Leon Rose, said he was confident his clients would be cleared in the beating of Erik Hood, who alleged that he attended a basketball tournament at the recreation center. He saw the Morris brothers enter the gym with three other men: Bowman, Julius Kane and Christopher Melendez and after the game, he claims Kane confronted him while he was struck from behind on the head by Melendez. When Hood attempted to run to his car, he was too woozy and fell to the ground, where he was then repeatedly punched and kicked by all five suspects. A female companion of Hood witneses the alleged attack and Hood was taken to the emergency room at Phoenix Baptist Hospital, where he was treated for a broken nose, bruises and abrasions. Given that he also claims to have known the Morris brothers since they were in high school and that he mentored the brothers through college, this whole situation is bizarre, as is the fact that police say that Hood was assaulted for sending "an inappropriate text message" to the Morris brothers' mother some time before the incident…………

- In Kentucky, you do NOT f*ck with the state’s unofficial official beverage. You most definitely don’t do what nine sticky-fingered criminals are accused of doing by hijacking such a massive quantity of bourbon whiskey that even Kentucky authorities say it was more bourbon whiskey than one person could drink in a lifetime. Those nine people were indicted earlier this week and are accused of being rogue distillery workers who spent years and years thieving tens of thousands of dollars' worth of whiskey from two prominent bourbon makers — the Buffalo Trace and Wild Turkey distilleries. Pinpointing the exact date this chicanery began has proven difficult, but authorities believe the criminal syndicate operated since 2008 or 2009. In the indictments, the booze-boosting ring is linked to two highly publicized heists in the world's bourbon-producing hub — the theft of barrels of Wild Turkey bourbon earlier this year and the disappearance of Pappy Van Winkle bourbon. Pappy Van Winkle is both über-rare and extremely valuable and stealing even one bottle of it is enough to send the entire Bluegrass State into a disappointingly sober furor. According to The Man, the recovered whiskey alone is worth at least $100,000 and while there are precious few details about precisely how these men jacked so much high-alcohol booze or what they expected to do with their ill-gotten gains, the balls they showed by taking so many barrels and expecting to get away with it is impressive on some level. In the end, they were either not smart enough to get away with it, got greedy or some combination of the two and so this criminal crew will face the wrath of a judicial system that is going to be mighty miffed that a national treasure was taken from it………….

- Being a member of The Darkness must not be a lot of fun. If it were, new drummer Emily Dolan would not be on her way out the door less than two months after making her live debut with the over-the-top Canadian glam rockers. Dolan - who was formerly a session musician for Bryan Ferry and Tricky – first appeared with Justin Hawkins and his bandmates on March 6, but she has left the band to pursue "new projects.” It’s the sort of statement you might expect to hear from someone who has been a part of a group for years instead of weeks, but at least the band released a statement trying to put a positive spin on the mess. It reads in part, "We part ways with fond farewells. Emily played a huge part in the recording of our new album 'Last Of Our Kind' and makes a final appearance in the video for our single 'Open Fire', which is coming to a screen near you soon… Good luck, Emily!" It seems unlikely that the band foresaw itself having to try and shine up this musical monkey turd when it happily welcomed Dolan into its ranks at the start of the year when she replaced founding member Ed Graham, who left The Darkness at the end of 2014. "Ed has had some well-publicized health problems in the past. And for one reason or another, he wasn't capable of doing his job anymore,” Hawkins said at the time. “We're still friends with Ed. But now that we have Emily in the band, the worry is gone." As for “Last Of Our Kind,” it is due out June 1 and it will be the first and only Darkness album featuring Dolan’s drum stylings………

Why MLB matters now, "Star Wars" spin-offs begin and German rail workers rage

- Rise up, mistreated German train drivers of the world. The ongoing battle ‘twixt a union representing drivers for railway operator Deutsche Bahn and the company has dragged on for months and while there aren't any groundbreaking issues at stake here, the fair treatment of the working man is always worth talking – and fighting – about. The union has called on its members to strike Wednesday and Thursday in a long-running dispute with the national railway operator and that’s bad news for anyone looking to take one of the many beautiful routes across Deutschland on its thousands of miles of rail line. According to the GDL union, passenger services will be hit from 2 a.m. Wednesday through 9 p.m. Thursday and while that isn't exactly the sort of negotiating hammer that will bring Deutsche Bahn to its knees, it’s better than merely walking off the job for a day. Coupled with freight train workers walking off the job Tuesday afternoon and returning to work Friday morning, it gives the union some more momentum in its push to achieve its stated goal of a 5-percent pay increase and shorter working hours. Those are demands that damn near every employee of every company in the world would make if they could, but the union is determined to negotiate not just for train drivers but for other railway staff who are traditionally represented by a larger rival union. It’s an ambitious ploy on one that could end in a giant, fiery ball of failure, but everyone knows that when you’re trying to bring a massive, government-run rail line to its knees, you go big or you go home and drown yourself in the world’s best beer……….

- Hey people who missed out on being selected to die in space as part of the Mars One mission, there’s a slightly more Earth-bound and less final alternative for you. You may not be headed to space to die in oblivion with a bunch of other losers, but you can take up residence in an old Montana gold mining outpost that has become a ghost town but is starting its rebound – with the help of four history buffs to be chosen by the U.S. Bureau of Land Management. The agency is offering four folks who believe that that damn technology is ruining our lives to live in Garnet, a preserved mining town on public land in Montana, where they will help to maintain the town sans the creature comforts of modern times. “It’s primitive, to say the least,” U.S. Bureau of Land Management Ranger Nacoma Gainan said. “It’s for people who love the outdoors and want to give back. There’s no electricity, no Wi-Fi and no running water. But there are trails to explore, artifacts to inspect. Volunteers are really left to their own devices after the visitors are gone.” Response to the offer has been strong and the BLA has received interest from 400 would-be Ted Kaczynski’s when all the needed was four. The volunteer residency program is conducted every September and usually lasts about a month, with those chosen stationed in quarters consisting of a private, furnished cabin with propane and wood stoves and a refrigerator. There is obviously no monetary compensation, but volunteers receive a food stipend, which they earn by providing visitor information, leading tours and staffing souvenir stands. They work until 4:30 p.m., after which the town turns into their own personal loser paradise. For fun, they can work with maintenance teams for the town or assist with special events and developing exhibits……….

- Speaking of nerds, dorks and losers…… Disney and LucasFilm have revealed plot details for Star Wars spin-off film “Rogue One.” The film is the first in a wave of Star Wars spin-offs being developed by Disney and LucasFilm and while the details were few in the tweet announcing the plot, fanboys will parse every word for meaning and significance about the project starring British actress Felicity Jones, who received an Oscar nomination earlier this year for her performance in “The Theory Of Everything.” “A band of resistance fighters unite for a daring mission to steal the Death Star plans in Star Wars anthology film, Rogue One,” the tweet reads. Godzilla director Gareth Edwards will helm the movie and work from a script by Chris Weitz, the Oscar-nominated writer of “Cinderella,” “About A Boy” and “Antz.” At a dork symposium, er, Star Wars Celebration event in Anaheim, California, LucasFilm President Kathleen Kennedy revealed that the collection of spin-off films will officially be known as the Star Wars Anthology Series. A panel discussion during the event gave the pale, pasty basement dwellers in attendance a first look at a brief teaser clip for “Rogue One.” Within minutes, low-quality copies of the footage shot by smartphone were uploaded to YouTube, sparking a minor tiff that ended with the clips being yanked down following copyright claims by Disney and LucasFilm. “Rogue One” is due to start shooting this summer in London with a target release date of December 16, 2016. "I couldn't sit in a cinema and know that someone else made this film," Edwards set at the nerd unity rally when speaking about why he signed on – besides the massive paycheck and blank check for the film’s budget – to direct a movie guaranteed to make boatloads of money simply because the words Star Wars will be attached to its name………

 

- Major League Baseball is having its usual tough time grabbing much of the sports spotlight in the early weeks of the season. The NBA playoffs are revving up, even the NHL postseason is drawing eyeballs and with less than 10 percent of the MLB season in the books, there is still far too long to go for the casual fan to give a damn about America’s national pastime. That’s why moments like the ones that went down Sunday in the finale of the Oakland-Kansas City series are a great thing for baseball, even if the powers that be would never say so. One day after Royals ace Yordano Ventura was ejected after hitting Oakland third baseman Brett Lawrie with a pitch following Josh Reddick's home run, the two teams continued their mutual disdain society with a series of flare-ups in which four more Royals were ejected. The benches emptied for the third straight day simply because Royals reliever Kelvin Herrera threw a 100 mph fastball shoulder-high behind Lawrie in the eighth inning and to the casual observer, it might seem the Royals have a bit of a beef with that particular player. Herrera didn’t exactly pretend like it was an accident and after he was ejected, he pointed at his head as he left the field. Royals bench coach Don Wakamatsu also was tossed by plate umpire Greg Gibson and even Athletics closer Sean Doolittle, who is on the disabled list, jumped into the fray via social media. “Bush league. Don't point at your head after you throw at someone that's hot garbage,” Doolittle tweeted.  Wakamtasu was ejected rather than Royals manager Ned Yost because Yost was long gone, having gotten the heave-ho in the first after Lorenzo Cain was hit by a pitch from Scott Kazmir. Yost came out to argue and was immediately ejected and so was pitching coach Dave Eiland. This all may or may not have something to do with Lawrie's hard slide into Alcides Escobar, which injured the shortstop's knee Friday and caused the benches to clear. It was easily the most heated series of the young season and could be the kind of accelerant that makes this a bitter and ugly rivalry for years to come. Win and win………

Losers with ukuleles, funny-looking MLB hats and drug busts v. rap concerts

- This is one of the dangers of going to a show for a hip-hop group that knows what it means to embrace the rap lifestyle. Sometimes, you show up expecting a full night of bass, badass rhymes and lots of secondhand marijuana smoke and instead, you get a truncated evening of music that ends far too soon because two members of a three-man group are arrested mid-show for felony drug and gun possession. Such was life for those attending Georgia Southern University's Spring Bling concert over the weekend and vibing to the stylings of Migos. The evening was off to a great start until police arrived and ordered a venue manager to stop the music. One the sound stepped, Migos and their crew (which totaled at least 15) left the stage to be questioned by the authorities. It took just a few minutes before members Quavo and Offset were detained for felony possession of a number of narcotics, including cocaine, Oxycontin and codeine. Mix in charges of carrying a loaded gun on school property and misdemeanor marijuana possession and it was the sort of evening that both boosts street cred and wipes out the small amount of money you would have made from playing a college party, but putting a price on the memories made for those in attendance is simply impossible. The third member of the group, Takeoff, wasn’t arrested even though other members of the crew were. Migos are actually from Georgia and are currently preparing to release their debut LP 'Y.R.N.: Tha Album,’ which is due out June 16 and now has an extra publicity boost to help get it rolling……..

- Russia, you done gone too far this time. You can invade Ukraine, you can try to annex Crimea and you can threaten to run roughshod over everyone who tries to tell you that you can't simply take over the world because you feel like it, but when you pick a fight with Norway, sh*t is about to get real. The Scandinavian power has demanded that Moscow explain why Russia's deputy prime minister visited the Norwegian Arctic Svalbard islands despite sanctions imposed on him by the EU and Norway and if Norway makes a demand of you, you had best come correct and ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION. Norwegian Foreign Ministry spokesman Frode Andersen called Dmitry Rogozin's visit "regrettable” and demanded an explanation. He noted that his ministry had informed the Russian Embassy in Oslo earlier this year that people on the sanctions list "are not wanted on Svalbard.” Being on the banned list for Svalbard could be construed as a reputation booster for the right person and it’s not as if Rogozin could deny that he visited, not when his Twitter account included a photo of him purportedly in Svalbard with the text "arrived in Longyearbyen on Svalbard." Andersen said Norway was considering options "to reinforce measures for travel to Svalbard,” but didn’t elaborate. Given the impending Russian invasion that seems to be inevitable any time Vlad Putin is involved, keeping the details under wraps is always a wise choice………

- New York Mets reliever Alex Torres: trailblazing pioneer. His peers may mock him and think he’s weird for becoming the only major leaguer to wear the new approved version of the first MLB-approved padded pitcher's cap with the padding on the outside, but he should pay those haters no mind. Torres entered Saturday night's game in the ninth inning to stop the bleeding after the Miami Marlins already had scored three times to cut New York's lead to 5-4. Proving that the new cap, aimed at reducing the impact of balls striking pitchers in the head, is not a hindrance to doing your job and doing it well is a good first step in wider acceptance for it. "It felt OK, felt a little weird the first time using that kind of model," Torres said. "I don't think about that, I just go to the mound to make that out we needed to win the game.” Torres wore the initial padded cap last year, but the company behind the isoBLOX padding removed it from inside the cap in an effort to address its lack of acceptance from pitchers other than Torres. MLB and players' association approval finally came just before the season and the new padding to match teams' official New Era caps is just now being completed, said Bruce Foster, CEO of 4Licensing Corp., whose subsidiary Pinwrest makes the padding. Last season, while with the San Diego padres, Torres got a lot of attention when he began wearing the visibly bulkier padded cap, to the point that the Hall of Fame obtained one to put on display. Rocking one with exterior padding looks a bit bizarre, but that’s merely because it’s new and different. Give it time, y’all………

- Congratulations, losers in the Little Tokyo neighborhood of Los Angeles. For the second straight year, you tools wasted valuable hours of your life organizing and gathering for a truly pointless attempt to set a new mark for the largest ensemble of ukuleles and for the second straight year, you failed miserably. A collection of 1,102 participants got together to play the Hawaiian instrument that looks like a mini guitar and in what can only be described as five minutes of auditory agony for anyone unfortunate enough to be in their immediate vicinity, they played the same song for those five minutes in a state of blissful ignorance when it came to the fact that they weren't even halfway to setting the record, which was turned in by a massively loser-ific crowd of 2,370 tools in England several years ago. The funniest part of this whole charade – and yes, finding humor in this painful moment for humanity is über-difficult – is that even if the Los Angeles crowd had managed to break the record set by a bunch of British ass hats, they may have only had the record for a few weeks. A recent gathering in Tahiti claimed to have attracted an as-yet-unverified 4,750 participants, which probably means 250 people showed up and event organizers did a little bit of creative math in an effort to make their tiny island nation a bit more relevant. There is a definite sense of sadness for humanity that so many people from so many different places around the world are devoting time to breaking an inane and hollow record and they all seem to be wholly oblivious to how pathetic they truly are. If anyone wants to hold a massive international bonfire and take care of every ukulele in the world before another gaggle of misfits has the temerity to attempt a record-breaking effort of their own, now that would be a truly beautiful and uplifting moment for all of mankind………

Pansies for potholes, jokes about Robert Plant and Cuban electoral firsts

- Los Angeles Kings center Jarret Stoll should really think about pacing himself. Sure, the offseason just started and it seems like before you know it, he’ll be trudging off to training camp for another season on the grind, but it really isn't necessary to pack an entire offseason of debaucherous and downright criminal activity into a single night. That seems to be the goal for the man who would appear to be living the high life as a successful professional athlete, a multimillionaire and the boyfriend of Fox Sports reporter and "Dancing with the Stars" co-host Erin Andrews. He lives and works in southern California and that’s pretty solid too, but clearly not enough to satisfy this wildman’s lust for life. Not if he’s getting picked up by Las Vegas police for suspected cocaine possession at the MGM Grand Hotel's Wet Republic pool complex. Not only was he rolling an unspecified amount of the Colombian nose candy, but he is also accused of possessing Ecstasy. It sounds like a hell of a Vegas weekend – or at least it would have been if the cops hadn't ruined this party before it really got started. The Kings issued a statement saying they were aware of the reports and little else. "Our organization is concerned and has begun conducting a thorough internal investigation," the team's statement said. "While we continue to actively gather facts, we are withholding further comment at this time." Maybe Stoll was looking for some stress relief because he will become an unrestricted free agent July 1 after struggling this season, tallying just six goals and 11 assists in 73 games..........

- These are rare and mysterious times in Cuba. In a curious and fortuitous twist of fate, two dissidents made it past a first round of voting and are standing as candidates in municipal elections being hailed as an unprecedented test of Cuba's single-party system. Both men expect to win the second round this weekend and if they do, they would become the first officials elected from outside the Communist Party since the first electoral law was established by Fidel Castro's government in 1976. Many believe dissidents Hildebrando Chaviano and Yuniel Lopez merely being on the ballot shows that Cuba's leadership may relinquishing its Vulcan death grip on its control of the island’s politics and perhaps even using this occasion as a loud sign of liberalization.The two men couldn’t be much more different as Chaviano, 65, and Lopez, 26, are at opposite ends of life’s spectrum. Yet both men believe the government was caught off guard by the support for their candidacies in the first round of candidate selection. It makes sense because that round of the process happens at gatherings of neighbors at the district level, so perhaps local officials didn't have time to organize enough to stop them. "Some people say that there's fear in Cuba, and I say that people have lost a lot of their fear," said Lopez, an unemployed member of the three-decade-old Independent and Democratic Cuba Party. "I already feel like I've won." Well that’s a loser’s mentality if there ever was one. Lopez, stop thinking like a 15th seed who spring a massive upset in the first round of the NCAA Tournament and almost doesn’t bother to show up for the next game. Chaviano’s tale is a good one, as he’s a former government lawyer who decided to seize an opportunity provided by both the letter of Cuban law, which offers theoretical protection to independent candidacies. "We have to take advantage of the moment," Chaviano said. Yes you do, Hildo-rama, and there is no moment like the present………

- Sometimes, the best dreams come true start out as ridiculous jokes uttered with zero degrees of seriousness. Major Lazer producer Diplo knows this and it’s why a man who doesn’t belong in the same musical zip code as an all-time icon like Robert Plant is making a concerted push to team up with the Led Zeppelin frontman. Earlier this month, Diplo posted a picture of himself with Plant on Instagram and tagged it with the caption: "Collab coming soon." He later admitted the post was merely a joke on his part after meeting Plant while on tour, but said cracking the joke has actually inspired him to make Plant the latest big name with whom he has worked. "I was on tour with Robert Plant down in South America and we never did anything together, I just wrote that on my Instagram,” Diplo said. “It seemed like it was so insane that no one would take it seriously but now I’m actively going to look for him to do a collaboration. The reason I even approached him backstage is because he beat me for the Grammy Record of the Year four years ago. I told him that was my only chance to get that award and you and Alison Krauss ruined it for me, but I still want to get a photo with you anyway." To his limited credit – because his music sucks ass without question – Diplo does recognize how talented Plant is and said the rock legend spent half an hour talking to him about music when they met. It’s a nice story, D, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to want to lock himself in a studio with you for a few days to make music that will be much worse for your involvement………

- Calling a government’s attention to real world problems can be difficult. You can riot if you’re bold enough and that’s an awesome first option, but rising up in revolt isn't for everyone. Some like simpler, quieter and less violent solutions and for people like that, there are tactics like those used by Schenectady, N.Y. resident Elaine Santore. Santore, the director of a local not-for-profit organization that helps retirees remain in their homes, isn't the rioting kind and so the upstate New York woman attacked the post-winter pothole problem in her hometown by filling in the road craters with pansies. Yes, pansies. Following months of brutal winter weather than left the streets of Schenectady looking like the surface of Edward James Olmos’ face, city public works crews started fixing up the pavement as best they could. Alas, it was not fast enough and so a few locals began filling in the holes themselves. Santore chose a more colorful path, electing to plant the flowers to make a statement about the problem and to make people smile after what she called "a horrible winter." The funny thing is, her plan of attack seems to have worked because of the 10 holes she filled with flowers over three days starting Monday, all have now been fixed by city crews. Ever the realist, Santore took a pragmatic approach to the situation. "I knew something would happen to them," she said. "Either people would take the flowers or they would be filled in. The winter was so hard on everybody and so depressing. I wanted to do something creative to solve a problem we have every year and bring a smile to people's faces." It’s a nice idea, E., but nothing affects change like a well-lit Molotov cocktail lobbed through the window of the city’s mayor or manager………